


Magic

by CatFiction



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Death, Friendship, Ghosts, Love, Mystery, Supernatural - Freeform, alternative universe, ghost - Freeform, haunted, teen, the 80s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 191,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatFiction/pseuds/CatFiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lizzie doesn't often run into ghosts, so when she comes face to face with the boy leaving her socially awkward notes in her new but old house she doesn't expect to meet one of the greatest friends she'll ever have. The only problem is that he doesn't intend to stick around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Anatomy of a Fall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/155168) by [novembersmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/novembersmith/pseuds/novembersmith). 



> [Magic trailer.](https://youtu.be/BCAGMtWWdH4)
> 
>  
> 
> _*** I absolutely adored the work of novembersmith's The Anatomy of a Fall and littleblackghost's Ghosts in the Attic. I credit them greatly as inspiration for my attempt at writing something slightly outside of my comfort zone, and highly recommend reading their stories if you haven't! ***_
> 
>  
> 
> **Please also note the following:**
> 
> I originally began posting this on another site in October of 2013. I started it for fun on the side while finishing "My Dream Nightmare". I don't call this a sequel but some things will add up (and some things won't) if you've read it. If you haven't read it, it shouldn't matter much, if at all.
> 
> I'm greatly influenced by music and so will include song titles at the beginning of most chapters in case you'd like to listen along or check them out at all.

  


 

 

**Musical inspiration for the chapter:**

  * _"Magic" - The Cars (sparked the idea and working title for the story)_
  * _"First Date" - Blink 182_



.............................................................................

 

Lizzie eyed the house with a certain disdain and let her head fall back against the car seat, exhausted from the long drive. Unhappy to be moving, unhappy she would have to unpack all her belongings in a new setting and unhappy that her relationship with her mother was currently stressed.

  
Turning the music on her iPod up she closed her eyes briefly and pretended she was anywhere but in New Jersey. Jersey. Wasn’t this dubbed one of the most dangerous states? Of all places to move, leave it to her mother to pick the roughest.  
  
Her seat was suddenly thrust forward and she peered over her shoulder with a glare set on the culprit, her younger brother, Isaac. Too miserable and exhausted to deal with his idiocy Lizzie turned back around and stared straight ahead at the car parked in front of theirs. Her mother was leaned out the window babbling to the movers about technicalities but Lizzie was too wrapped up in her own misery to worry about anything other than how she herself was feeling. Yeah, her mom was really excited about the move; a fresh start after the divorce, and a new career to match her new smile.  
  
Lizzie missed home already, where she knew everyone; where she actually had a presence. Here she was starting from scratch, the bottom of the social food chain and with one more year left of high school this was the most inconvenienced situation to stand at the threshold of. At least Isaac was only going into his freshmen year of high school and could battle through the awkward social stature with a whole other group of dorks all caught up in the same hellish state of being the babies at school.  
  
“Well?” Ms. Silver exclaimed happily. Regardless of divorcing her husband, Olivia chose to keep his last name. Mostly because she wanted to have the same last name as her children, but also because she liked the sound of it better than Olivia Threndle.  
  
“ _Well_?” she repeated when neither kid responded, “aren’t you excited to explore the new house? Brand new start, guys! At least pretend to be thrilled about it. This house is full of character, I know you’ll love it!”  
  
“With so much ‘character’ how come it was so cheap then?” Lizzie muttered and traveled her gaze up and down the two story house out the side window. The house was behind a chain-linked fence, in need of replacement, or at least some form of powerful rust remover. The lawn was a complete forest of weeds, grown so tall that they were creeping up the side of the house’s exterior and beginning to snake around the posts of the porch. The house was in dire need of a makeover, to say the least, including the wild landscape surrounding it. If the house could, she was sure it would moan aloud about how shitty it felt.  
  
“People today are more keen to buy modern looking houses, but we know better, don’t we?” her mom chirped, always one to make the best out of every situation. Sometimes it made Lizzie sick, because sometimes a person just wanted to mope. “I think we can really spruce this place up with a coat of paint and a hedge cutter.”  
  
“Some gasoline and matches might work just as great,” Lizzie stated stubbornly and shoved the car door open. It whined and squeaked, tired from the drive and just getting plain old. Everything in Lizzie’s life seemed to scream for lighter fluid.  
  
“Lizzie,” Olivia sighed – tired of dealing with her daughter’s attitude. She lit her face up with a quick smile once more when she turned to her son, however. “What do _you_ think, Ike?”  
  
Isaac looked complacently at the house a moment or two. His fixed gaze so thorough as if analyzing every nook and cranny of the dwelling’s crumbling exterior. “Does it have an attic?”  
  
“It does,” Olivia smiled widely and clapped her hands together. “We’ll have lots of storage! Who knows what we might stumble across inside, hm? Isn’t this exciting? I’ve already had the grand tour of it myself, but now we’ll really get to explore it in detail.”  
  
“And it has two bathrooms?”  
  
“Two _and a half_ bathrooms and four bedrooms! Can you imagine? Four bedrooms! One is a guest bedroom of course and a bit smaller, but it’s nice and quaint. If we have company they have their very own room to stay in and we won’t have to sentence them to the pull out bed in the den like at the old house.”  
  
Isaac managed a small smile for his mother’s sake, “It’s pretty great, mom. I like it so far.”  
  
“Suck up,” Lizzie muttered outside the car and itched the back of her head. She really wanted a hot shower after the long drive. Her hair was in need of it that was for sure; her dark locks matted and greasy from all the junk food and dusty roads consumed and traveled in order to end up at this hell hole.  
  
She took a couple steps closer to the house, still keeping a distance away from the movers who were already coming in and out of the front door with furniture and boxes labeled for specific rooms. She was glaring at the windows of the dwelling when a bug bit her leg and she cursed loudly, smacking at her calf regardless of the bug being long gone. “Fuck,” she cried out again. It was the cherry on top of everything. “This places sucks! It completely and utterly sucks!”  
  
“Stop being such a sourpuss,” her mother came around her side with a box held securely in her arms. “Help us out and the sooner everything is inside the sooner we can all settle down and order some takeout for supper, hm? I’ll even let you pick what we eat tonight, how’s that, Izzy?”  
  
“Swell, mom,” her sarcasm dripped with each word and her eyes narrowed into slits through her messy bangs.  
  
Before Olivia could reply to her daughter’s attitude, Lizzie was upping the volume on her iPod again and moving toward the rusty old red 1989 Honda Accord. She bumped Isaac out of the way to grab a box hastily and then followed one of the movers back toward the miserable house.  
  
Weeds had overtaken the path leading up to the front steps and they tickled her bare legs. Lizzie wasn’t a very big person but that didn’t stop the wooden stairs from creaking and threatening to snap under her weight as she put one flip-flop dressed foot in front of the other carefully up each step. The white paint was chipping away, just like the paint on the house panelling. The wood floor on the porch needed to be replaced, but really, what the hell didn’t at this point? The front windows were grimy and even before she could cross the threshold Lizzie could smell the stale scent of the entire dwelling. It smelled old and cryptic and nothing like home. People at school would probably start referring to her as mothballs. First thing she would do is air out her new bedroom with loads of perfume and scented candles.  
  
Lizzie took one giant step into the house without another thought and froze, only to be gently shuffled over so the movers could continue their trek back and forth up and down the path. From the car to the house, from the house to the car, placing another piece of furniture down upon the creaky floorboards with a bit too little care. It was a job after all, it wasn’t like they could understand the boxes of memories they were hauling in.  
  
Pulling out her earbuds Lizzie eyed the drab walls and the cakes of dust settled on already placed furniture. Their mom hadn’t said anything about the house coming fully furnished. Isaac’s tall figure walled up to her side as he too examined their new surroundings.  
  
“Smells like old lady and death,” he commented and dropped a box of kitchen supplies down on top of a couple others. “Did you see the mailbox on the front gate? It’s practically falling off.”  
  
“We’re in Dracula’s hideout and the only shitty thing you can think to comment on is the mailbox?” Lizzie narrowed her eyes up at him. “This place is so shitty. There’s no way we’re going to get an AC anytime soon either, I bet. We’re going to die of heatstroke in this place. Or syphilis or something.”  
  
“I think you’re talking about Typhus, freak. Syphilis is a fucking STD!”  
  
“Whatever, either way we’re going to die of some messed up disease living in this place. Dad wouldn’t make us live in a place like this.”  
  
Isaac left his sister’s side to go fetch another box or two from the car, passing by their mother along the way. She was chatting with another mover, asking for some more information about their location and if he knew anything more about the house. Of course he didn’t though. They were only just one more shitty mousetrap in Jersey and Jersey itself was a rat trap. The only thing remotely exciting to Lizzie about living in Jersey was being an hour train ride away from glamorous New York City.  
  
“Well?” Olivia interrupted her thoughts next as she put a comforting arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.  
  
“It sucks, mom. Matches the outside perfectly. Why couldn’t we just move into a rickety apartment? I’m pretty sure anything is better than this place. And what’s with the furniture?” She pointed to the dusty couch and table.  
  
“Well the house is so big I decided we should keep whatever was in here, here. We’ll go through the rooms and decide what to keep and what should be sold.”  
  
“That’s creepy. All of it should go. Why did the The Munsters leave it all behind?”  
  
“I don’t know why the previous owners didn’t take anything, actually. Seems like a waste doesn’t it? But like I said, we’ll work around it and rearrange things as we see fit. Now give me at least one positive first impression.”  
  
“…The grime on the windows keeps most of the light out.”  
  
Olivia frowned and gave another tired sigh. “I know you’re far from happy about all of this, Elizabeth, but I promise it will work out, ok? We just have to stick together as a team and we’ll patch this place up in no time! You’ll make new friends at school and before long you’re going to be thrilled we left Dakota. Living so close you have the opportunity to attend NYU next year! And think of all the shopping trips we can take to New York. I know Jersey is a tough place, but you just have to find the nice things about it. So take a self-guided tour of the house and find some nice things.”  
  
Lizzie chose to give her mother a break and agreed to it. “Pizza for dinner though,” she stated and plugged herself back into her music.  
  
Olivia gave a gentle smile before leaving the house. Lizzie bopped her head to the music as she tried to decide which area of the house to check out first. She decided to brave it and head up the narrow stair case, assuming the bedrooms would be upstairs. The stairs made her feel claustrophobic and dust collected on her hand as she slid it up the banister. “Dracula probably deserted the place after it gave him allergies,” she muttered to herself. “’I vant to--achoo—suck your—achoo—fuck dis, I am out of here’.”  
  
The smell upstairs was no better and probably worse than downstairs on the main landing. It was the carpeted floors that held in the musty scent, unlike the aged hardwood floors downstairs. At one point the floors had probably been beautifully varnished and classy looking. Now they looked gray and defeated, just like the rest of the house.  
  
Lizzie scrunched up her nose at the carpet under her feet. It needed to go. At some point the previous owners had walked their cootie feet all over these floors and it irked her to think about too long.  
  
The hallway had several closed doors. Nothing about the hallways seemed fancy. They were plain white doors with plain white doorknobs. Lizzie reached out for the first one on the right as she muttered lyrics under her breath to _Blink 182_ ’s “Firs Date” and pushed it open just a crack to look in. An average sized room, a bed already situated and a dresser next to it. Lizzie shook her head, it was still bizarre that the previous owners had chosen to leave behind their furniture. It wasn’t like furniture was that cheap, why would you want to have to start all over? Even her mother had brought their old furniture from home and at the moment was the advocate for single mom’s wanting a new beginning.  
  
Lizzie pulled the door shut and moved to the door opposite it. A bathroom, complete with a bathtub, thank God. Now she could only cross her fingers and hope there would be water that night for her hot shower.  
  
She reached out to open the next door but froze when she heard her mother calling over her music to come help move some of the boxes out of the hallway. Lizzie let go of the doorknob and made her way back down the stairs. Had she looked back she would have noticed the door across the hall open, just a crack, and with the tiniest of squeaks.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
There was no exploring right after the movers had finally left. Instead Olivia put her kids right to work moving some boxes into the kitchen and wiping down the counters to reveal ugly blue laminate countertops. The cupboards were white and the floor linoleum tiling. It was a pain in the ass that everything had to be wiped down to be rid of all the dust, but at least after a grueling three hours of cleaning they had a decent setting for dinner.  
  
It was weird sitting in someone else’s furniture and it was difficult not to imagine who might have sat where they were at the present. Lizzie’s imagination continuously brought her back to a sketchy elderly couple whose kids had run away and left them to battle old age with fading memories and odd hobbies. Like taxidermy or collecting doll hair in scrapbooks.  
  
At least they had their own dishes to eat off of, even if it was pizza that just could have easily been eaten right out of the box.  
  
It was getting dark out by the time they were ready to “explore” the house and their mother had to fiddle with the switch box in the unfinished basement until a few of the lights worked. Few, because mainly all of them had to be replaced, which was Lizzie and Isaac’s next chore.  
  
Olivia led the kids down the hallway of the main landing to show them the other bathroom, the guest room and a small room she explained would be converted into a laundry room. Hell there was even a room she was going to convert into her office. Lizzie wondered what the rooms had originally been used for. Probably all the taxidermy the pervious old couple worked on together.  
  
Olivia exclaimed how exciting it was that they had a fireplace to light in the winter and a dining room for when they had company. She had big plans for the house, but money was the limit and though her dreams were heaven high, there was no way the cash in her pocket would cover them.  
  
She brought the kids upstairs and opened the same two doors Lizzie had in the first place. Lizzie yawned as they looked into the bathroom she had already seen, and listened to her brother question where the half washroom was.  
  
“The master bedroom,” Olivia explained and grabbed hold of the doorknob Lizzie had ended up at before being interrupted earlier.  
  
Lizzie peered into the room and wrinkled her nose over the sight of the furniture. “You’re not going to keep the bed are you, mom?” The frame was mahogany and the posts reaching high. There was a matching dresser in the corner and a hope chest at the end of the bed. Other than that it was pretty bare, like the other bedroom she had stumbled across earlier. Only this room had a conjoining washroom, which was really stupid considering the washroom was technically beside another washroom. The piping was probably insane behind the walling.  
  
“No, I don’t think so,” Olivia answered her daughter’s question. “I might keep the hope chest though. I think that’s a nice thing to have.”  
  
Closing the door to the master suite they moved to the last door in the hallway and Lizzie eyed it curiously. Wasn’t that door shut when she saw it earlier? It was unsettling to her but she watched her mom push the door open just as well to reveal an even more unsettling sight. The other rooms were bare, or quite bare at least – with only a couple items of furniture. This room… This room was a mess. Everything was coated in dust just like everything else, but this room was left as if whomever had occupied it was coming back. There were clothes on the floor, posters on the wall, even a pack of cigarettes on the dresser.  
  
Lizzie took a hesitant step into the room first while her mom and Isaac stared in confusion. Lizzie scanned the posters plastering the walls, all of which were dedicated to music: The Misfits, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Black Flag, The Bouncing Souls, The Beatles, The Dead Kennedys. Punk, punk and more punk. Music Lizzie didn’t necessarily listen to but knew the names of and could recognize on the radio.  
  
“I- I don’t remember looking in this room,” Olivia explained finally. “I’m not sure why they would have left all these things behind. If one of you wants to take the guest room downstairs until we can clear all this-“  
  
“I’ll take this room,” Lizzie grinned daringly. “Maybe I can keep some of these posters even.”  
  
“Are you sure, Izzy? This isn’t really- “  
  
“I’m fine here,” she explained and spotted a rack of cd’s in the corner. Yeah, it was all bizarre and yeah she was a little uneasy about staying in a room where the previous occupant appeared to be away at school as opposed to moved out, but then having all their items around was something more to explore. They left her treasure to hunt through, so she’d snoop through it.  
  
“Ok… But don’t sit on the bed or anything. We’ll get your bed situated up here tomorrow morning.”  
  
“Alright.”  
  
Olivia nodded and then put a hand over her son’s shoulder. “And you’ll take the other bedroom across the hall?”  
  
“Sure,” Isaac agreed, eyeing the room nervously once more before following his mom back down the hallway.  
  
Lizzie took a couple more steps into the room, her eyes refused to set on just one thing longer than three seconds. There were so many things to look at and she was quickly becoming accustomed to the furniture. In fact, she liked the dresser and intended to keep it. A couple of her boxes had been brought upstairs and she opened the first one that contained her underwear. She reached for the top drawer handle and stopped when a thought dawned on her. Everything was still dusty and would need to be wiped down before even she dared to place her undergarments in it. Even so she pulled the top draw open with a sharp yank and was shocked to find it filled with clothes.  
  
“Holy shit,” she muttered quietly at the shirts neatly folded in a row. “What the fuck?” Lizzie itched the back of her head and searched around the room as if an answer would come to her, but there was nothing but an eerie silence to accompany her lone self. Something was off about this house and it wasn’t just its appearance.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Nearly an hour later Lizzie was still simply wiping down bare spaces in the room with a damp cloth when her mom appeared in the doorway, a sleeping bag and pillow in hand.  
  
“Brought your stuff for the first night in the new house,” she gave her daughter a smile. “How’s it going?”  
  
“There’s clothes in the dresser,” Lizzie explained and closed the gap between them to grab her possessions. “Guy clothes. What am I supposed to do with them?”  
  
Olivia eyed the dresser from afar with a startled expression, “Clothes? Why on earth would they leave clothes behind? Well I supposed we’ll box ‘em up to donate to charity tomorrow.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged and watched her mom leave again before rolling out her sleeping bag on the floor beside the bed. The house was drafty, despite how hot it was outside and Lizzie dug around in her box of clothes for one of her hoodies to pull over her top. She itched her head once again and sighed in exasperation, remembering that she was in desperate need of a hot shower. So instead of calling it a night she went trudging back down the stairs to dig for some towels and toiletry items. It took a while to find all the things she wanted, but it would be fantastic and worth it once she was standing under nice warm water.  
  
Up the staircase again and into the bathroom she stared at her tired expression in the mirror a moment before stripping out of her clothes to carefully fold on the counter. The floor was filthy; the counters were too, but they were still a lot cleaner than the floor. She peeked around the shower curtain into the bath before jumping in full-fledged. It looked clean enough and there weren’t any spiders or creepy crawlers moving across the tiled walls so she felt relatively safe meddling with the taps. And praise the lord there was water. It was a bit murky at first but quickly came clear and constant. The only problem? The water was icy cold and showed no signs of warming up.  
  
Lizzie let out an annoyed cry but refused to walk out of the room unclean. She grit her teeth and stepped under the stream, never bathing quicker in her entire life. Soapy water stung her eyes and the shampoo in her hair didn’t feel like it was reaching its full potential, but dammit she showered.  
  
Five minutes and she was clambering back out onto the dirty linoleum floor, teeth chattering and lips a bit blue, but at least the itchy feeling in her hair was gone and she wrapped herself up in not one, but two towels to defeat the cold.  
  
As she rapidly rubbed at her arms trying to keep warm she could have sworn a sound bounced off the walls around her. It was faint, soft and wispy, but it sounded like a giggle – a laugh. And a laugh was definitely not the wind. Lizzie felt a shiver run up her spine but she pretended what she heard was her imagination and continued drying off, maybe moving a pace or two quicker than previously.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was a restless night being in a room clearly having been inhabited and still decorated by someone that wasn’t her, and Lizzie awoke to the morning light with a wince. Her neck was stiff and her head ached. Her eyes scanned around the unfamiliar room again and zoned in on the closet door. When she had went to sleep that night she remembered the closet door being shut completely. Now it was daytime and the door was slightly ajar. There was no way her mom or her brother would have come in late at night to pull a small prank – not when they themselves were uneasy enough as it was by the room being left so hastily.  
  
Lizzie stood up and rolled her sleeping bag up first before risking a few steps toward the closet door. As she did she felt the draft become stronger and shivered. Taking in a breath of air nervously she pulled open the door with one swift motion and froze. She wasn’t entirely sure what she thought she may have found behind the door but when the air left her lungs it was in a relieved sigh. Clothes. More clothes. She gave a small laugh over her stupidity and shut the door completely to head on down for some breakfast.  
  
“In the car I just can’t wait, to pick you up on our very first date,” she sang quietly on her way out of the room. The song was stuck in her head since yesterday, she couldn’t help it. “Is it cool if I hold your hand? Is it wrong if I think it’s lame to dance?...  
  
I’m just scared of what you think, you make me nervous so I really can’t eat. Let’s go, don’t wait, this night’s almost over. Honest, let’s make this night last forever. Forever and ever let’s make this last forever.”  
  
“Well it sounds like someone is in better spirits this morning,” Olivia smiled when Lizzie entered the kitchen singing. “Did you sleep good?”  
  
“Nope,” Lizzie answered and plunked down in the same seat she had taken yesterday at dinner. Isaac was already seated at the table and looking just about as tired as she felt. “I slept awful, actually,” she continued and ruffled his hair just to bug him. “And we don’t have hot water.”  
  
“I have someone coming today to fix that,” Olivia chimed happily. “And we’ll put your bed in that room today so you’ll sleep better tonight. I’ll give you some boxes so you can pack away all those clothes for charity. Deal?”  
  
“Well what else am I supposed to do, keep them there? Share the room with nobody? I don’t want all his old clothes, that’s gross.”  
  
“You chose the room.”  
  
“I like the room. There’s some cool junk in there, it just has to be sorted through first. There are so many posters on the wall you can’t even see the ugly paint colour the room actually is. I love that.”  
  
“So you’re going to keep the posters up?” Isaac cut in. “Do you even listen to those bands?”  
  
“Nope, but it’s better than the ugly paint.”  
  
“Touché.”  
  
“Why do you look like shit this morning? What the hell happened to you last night?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Isaac blushed. “Stupid.”  
  
“No, seriously, what?”  
  
“I don’t know, I kept hearing stuff. Rattling or footsteps. Like, above.” He pointed to the ceiling. “Attic I guess.”  
  
“Hey, yeah,” Lizzie exclaimed, forgetting momentarily about what her brother was even talking about. “There’s supposed to be an attic in this house! How do you get to that? I haven’t seen a door or whatever yet.”  
  
“I’m not sure,” Olivia responded calmly as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “I’ll have to ask the realtor for the blueprints of the house and we can scout it out together. I’m sure that will be another project to tackle, because if you kids think it’s dusty down here, just think of how dusty the attic must be.”  
  
“This whole place should be written off,” Lizzie muttered and rose from the table to head back up the stairs. She suddenly didn’t feel so hungry and a day of work ahead of her left her tired before she had even begun.  
  
She was just reaching the top of the stairs when she heard what sounded like a door being slammed shut and quickly raced to her room, throwing it open without a moment dedicated to pondering what she might find. Her eyes raced across the room but saw nothing different about it since she had left only minutes ago.  
  
She was about to leave for the washroom to brush her teeth when something on the bed caught her attention and she felt the blood in her veins freeze. There on the unmade bed was a small piece of paper, but it stood out amongst the black sheets. That note had not been there when Lizzie left the room, and everyone had been downstairs, so where had it come from?  
  
Hesitantly Lizzie stepped forward and peered over it to read what was scrawled with blue ink from the pen lying next to it.  
  
_Hi!  
Nice singing!  
Talk with me?  
\- F_  
  
Lizzie’s eyes grew wide and she quickly looked around the room, unsure of who or what she was looking for. Then her eyes settled on the closet door again and she flashed a venomous look, her feet bringing her right up to it before fear could even catch up. She swung it open and made a frustrated sound to find clothes, just like the last time.  
  
“Fuck this house,” she muttered and tore the note up into tiny pieces before tossing them onto the floor. The whole room had to be cleaned up anyway. “Asshole neighbours, fucking asshole kids playing stupid fucking pranks.” She began to rant to no one, her anger building up at a steady rate. “I hate it here. I want to go home and just- Ugh!”  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The whole morning was spent tidying up a good portion of Lizzie’s room. They moved the bed out of the room and found a load of junk under it, from missing socks to picks from a guitar to an empty plate that had obviously held food at one point in time. Lizzie respectfully moved things around to dust and wash but always put objects back the way they were, still undecided over what was to stay and what was to go. She emptied some of the clothes from the closet and dresser, carefully folding and packing them into boxes, but when she came across a vintage _Green Day_ shirt she couldn’t simply throw it away and so instead folded it up amongst her own clothes to keep. She ended up doing the same with a _Ramones_ t-shirt and a _Misfits_ hoodie. She couldn’t bring it upon herself to throw them away and if anything she could at least sell them on Ebay for a decent sum of money.  
  
Along with the clothes she tossed away a new pack of cigarettes and a couple bottles of beers she found hidden at the back of a drawer in the dresser. She was sort of hoping to stumble across a photograph or maybe even just some ID of whomever owned this room at some point, but found nothing and now sat on her bed in a contemplative mood after hanging up her own clothes in the closet.  
How did the neighbours get the note in her room when she was on the second floor and how did they know she was singing?  
  
Lizzie got up and padded over to the window to peer out at the neighbourhood, but there wasn’t much of a view out her window. She could see partly into the backyard of their new, sketchy old house and through the branches and leaves of the tree could partially see a window into the next door neighbours’ house. Lizzie sighed heavily with disappointment over hitting a dead end and instead took to sulking on her bed once more until her mom asked her to come help clean downstairs  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
For dinner, Olivia decided to take them to the nearest fast food restaurant. Things weren’t set up enough in the kitchen yet to cook a meal and she still had yet to go grocery shopping, so fast food seemed like the best choice.  
As they were loading into the car Lizzie glanced up at the house and was startled to see that 1. There was a window in the attic and 2. The curtain was moving. There was no air conditioning in the house so it couldn’t have been a vent that had done it, and it was dead still outside so it couldn’t have been a draft. Lizzie frowned up at the window until Isaac came to stand next to her and peered up at the same spot.  
“What’re you looking at?”  
  
“Nothing. I didn’t see anything.”  
  
“…Ok…”  
  
“You heard voices last night, huh?”  
  
“I think so, I don’t know. It was weird.”  
  
“Well we live in Lord Voldemort’s grandma’s house, I don’t blame you.”  
  
Isaac gave a small chuckle and the two climbed into the car, ready for a well-deserved dinner after a long day of working on the house.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Dinner was nice and the kids had the first chance to see part of Jersey. They drove by the ocean and could see the skyline of New York which spread a smile across Lizzie’s face and made her mother beam happily; thrilled to finally see her daughter smile so genuinely since the move.  
  
It was a hot one outside and no one was looking forward to stepping back into the house without air conditioning. Olivia was already looking into it, but with it being summer, AC’s were in high demand and it would be a long while until they reached their house to install one. Regardless of how hot they were, stepping into the house was almost too cold and the three occupants of the house threw each other startled looks.  
  
“I don’t understand why it’s so cold,” Olivia finally stated aloud. “How is that possible?”  
  
“It’s freezing,” Isaac commented while rubbing at his arms. “Jesus, you can almost see your own breath!”  
  
Lizzie’s gaze, however, focused on the staircase and while Olivia and Isaac disappeared into the kitchen to investigate further, Lizzie scurried up the steps to make her own investigation. With each step closer to her room came what felt like a drop in temperature by a couple degrees until she was sure she would find the arctic invading her room.  
  
Pushing open the door to her bedroom she nearly jumped five feet off the ground when she physically saw the closet door shut quickly. Tears came to Lizzie’s eyes in an instant, she was filled with so much fear. They were being robbed, there were murderers in the house! They were in her closet and she was about to die!  
  
“Mom,” she screamed loudly and heard both Olivia and Isaac thumping up the stairs in a hurry.  
  
“What, what?” her mother asked in worry and came over to hug her daughter against her side. “What’s the matter, sweetheart? Oh my God, you’re shaking, honey, what’s the matter?”  
  
“There are people in our house,” she whispered and nodded in the direction of the closet. “They’re in the closet, they’re going to kill us. I saw the door shut when I opened this one. They’re going to kill us.”  
  
Olivia, being the brave woman she was didn’t think to grab a phone and call the cops. Instead she marched over to the closet without another thought, her children yelping warnings and calling her crazy behind her back as she went.  
  
With a swift motion she flew open the closet door and dug around through the clothes, but found nothing.  
  
“Izzy, honey, there’s no one here, sweetie. Maybe it was a draft that closed the door, that happens sometimes you know. And God knows this is the coldest room in the house. Do you keep bags of ice around here somewhere?”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t a draft, I swear the door was shut! Someone slammed it shut! I heard something this morning too! This house is messed up! I hate living here! I should have gone to California with dad!”  
  
To this Olivia frowned, “Well if that’s the way you feel, I don’t know why you didn’t. Call up the cheating scum and make plans if that’s what you really want, Elizabeth, but I won’t have you stomping all over my dreams. I like this place, contrary to what you both think.”  
  
“I didn’t say anything,” Isaac mumbled under his breath rather sadly and unhappy to be dragged into an argument he hadn’t started and didn’t want to be a part of in the first place. Isaac tended to stay neutral in most cases and was the calm sibling out of the two.  
  
Olivia left the room and Isaac left soon after, shrugging helplessly to his sister and glancing to the closet once more, unsure of who or what to believe.  
  
With them gone Lizzie slammed her bedroom door and sat on her bed watching the open closet door like a hawk. She crossed her arms stubbornly and sat very still until she became bored and grabbed for her iPod to at least listen to tunes while sitting on guard. There was something messed up going on and she wasn’t going to miss it again.  
  
The time ticked by slowly and with each hour passing by Lizzie became a little bit more conscious of how heavy her head felt and began slouching back into her pillow, indenting the pillow first with her back, then her shoulder blades and neck until her head sunk against the pillow and her eyes drooped shut.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
At 3:00 AM Lizzie’s eyes fluttered open to a pitch black room and she peeled her covers back in the dark to crawl under them for warmth. Her body shivered, the room was still cold but not as bad as it had been by any means. Her iPod had died and she wished it hadn’t, because now she was reduced to listening to the odd groans of the house in the night. The clicks, and hisses or the gentle breeze knocking the tree branches against her window. They cast shadows across her room and Lizzie felt five years old and afraid of the dark as she snuggled deeper under the covers, nearly covering her whole head until she heard something peculiar. It wasn’t like the giggling she heard in the bathroom yesterday. This was coming from above her, just like Isaac had explained that morning, how he had heard footsteps. But this didn’t sound entirely like footsteps either. Instead it sounded more like tapping to a beat. Lizzie strained her hearing and that’s when she heard it, very faintly – a singsong whisper:  
  
“ _You make me nervous so I really can’t eat… Let’s go…don’t wait…this night’s almost over. Honest….let’s make…this night last forever…and ever…let’s make it last forever…_ ”  
  
Someone was singing _Blink 182_. Lizzie checked her iPod again thinking that maybe it wasn’t entirely drained, but it wasn’t her iPod and it wouldn’t be Isaac, because Isaac hated _Blink_.  
  
Lizzie needed a way to the attic. Someone was hiding up there.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	2. Chapter 2

**Musical inspiration for the chapter:**

  * _"This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race" - Fall Out Boy_



.......................................................................................................

 

Come morning Lizzie examined her bed for any notes like yesterday before exiting her room, and this time she made sure the closet door was shut tight.  
  
Her mom still wasn’t very pleased with her but Lizzie was in no mood to fix things at the moment. Her mind was consumed with last night and what she had heard. In hindsight she wished she had kept that creepy note she found on her bed – it could have been good evidence for the cops.  
  
Today the plan was to arrange the furniture downstairs and start to actually put things away in their proper place. The idea was unsettling and too real to Lizzie. This was her new house and actually putting things away and decorating made it final. Her family had went to wholesome and happy to split up and bitter. Her parents’ divorce hadn’t been a very mature battle – there had been various arguments leading up to it and yelling almost every single day. Lizzie hadn’t been all that surprised when they announced their split one evening about a month ago now. From there it had been a jumble of decisions and court dates as they fought for primary custody over their children. In the end Olivia won and their father had visiting rights pretty much whenever he felt like it. Either parent would have been decent for the kids to stay with, but Olivia had won basically because she was a woman, and women were seen as the natural caregivers. Society today was still convoluted to think so.  
  
Either way Isaac and Lizzie would have been upset with whomever they were shipped off with, because being with one parent meant not seeing the other on a regular basis due to their want to move to opposite sides of the country. And it wasn’t very pleasing to learn they were going to be living in The Addams Family’s summer vacation lounge while their father was living in a condo, sipping on fancy drinks and lying in the sun on the beach in California.  
  
Lizzie grabbed one of the Pop-Tarts her mom had picked up from a 7-11 on the way home last night from dinner and promised she would go shopping that day for groceries before they began the clean-up. She asked them both if they’d like to come along but both decided they’d be happier becoming that much more acquainted with their new bedrooms and surroundings. In truth, both were in denial about being in dirty Jersey and the better they could pretend they were simply moved in a new part of town back home, they would.  
  
Lizzie made her way back upstairs with her Pop-Tart in hand, deciding it’d be a good idea to start the day off with a hot shower, as opposed to a shower in the North Pole, like the first day they moved in. She listened intently for the sound of a slamming door on her way up the stairs, but heard none, so walking into her bedroom didn’t feel like welcoming a heart attack as she pushed the door open.  
  
The closet door was closed tight, just as she had left it, but on the bed was something she hadn’t been expecting to see. Another note. The chilling feeling ran up her spine again, her eyes darting between the closet and the note laying there, begging to be read. She approached it with caution, as if it were a landmine, about to explode with the vaguest sense of her presence.  
  
She put the Pop-Tart down in place of the note and saw the pen neatly placed next to it, just as it had been the first time.  
  
_Sorry for scaring you yesterday._  
Please write me back.  
  
\- F  
  
Lizzie stared at it as if there should be more. She knew she was supposed to be terrified, there was a great chance someone was stalking her – and inside her house at that. Hidden in the attic that they couldn’t find the entrance to without the blueprints. Yet this person didn’t sound threatening – they didn’t seem to want to harm her. “F” just wanted to talk… But how was she supposed to give him a response? Where was she supposed to send it?  
  
With a useless sigh Lizzie picked up the pen and the air around her seemed a lot lighter. She sat at the edge of her bed and used a novel she had been reading as her makeshift table.  
  
_Who are you?_  
Where are you?  
What the fuck do you want?  
  
\- Liz  
  
With a satisfied nod Lizzie looked around the room as if trying to figure out where the note was supposed to go. In the end she picked up her Pop-Tart and put the note back where she had found the first and made way to the bathroom to have her shower, munching on her breakfast along the way.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was nice being able to bathe in hot water and Lizzie took advantage of it, trying to put aside the fact that there could possibly be a creeper living in their attic. It seemed unlikely though, how could someone live up there and not be seen by them yet? When the closet door had shut, she had moved as fast as light to swing the door open, only to find nothing. How could they possibly have gotten away so quickly, and where was there to go?  
  
Lizzie stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, startled when there was a sudden knock at the door. It took her a moment to remember that Isaac had also stayed home.  
  
“Lizzie, are you almost done, I want to shower too.”  
  
“Yeah, almost,” she called in return and quickly brushed her teeth and dried off before remembering she had left her clean clothes in her bedroom and scurried out the door in a towel, past her brother, to get to her bedroom in order to change.  
  
She closed her bedroom door and dropped her towel unashamed and unthreatened. Her clothes were lying out on her bed, ready to be changed into and as she grabbed for her underwear her heart almost stopped at the sight of the stupid note she had left. The writing on it wasn’t her own. Someone had responded. Clad in her underwear, Lizzie temporarily forgot that she was still dressing and sat down at the edge of her bed with a shaky sigh, nervous of what she was about to read. There were answers to her questions scrawled in sloppy print across the paper.  
  
_My name is Frank._  
I’m around…  
I want…a friend? Shit that sounds lame. How old are you, Liz?  
  
Frank. Around. Friend? What the hell was this? Lizzie quickly looked around her room and swallowed thickly. Was he watching her right now? How?! Regardless, she picked up the pen and scrawled out a reply, jumping slightly when she heard the shower start – her brother obviously taking his shower now.  
  
_Around where? Are you fucking stalking me, asshole? I’ll call the cops, you freak! How would you like to be ass raped in jail, son of a bitch? Don’t fucking mess with me – be a fucking man at least and deal with me face to face rather than hide away like a coward! If it’s a friend you want you got another thing coming, creep. If you think this is how you make friends then you clearly have no social status in the world._  
  
Lizzie threw the rest of her clothes on and left the room, racing down the stairs until she was panting at the bottom, shaken up and listening for any sounds that might indicate someone moving upstairs – besides her dorky brother who was showering – unaware of the murder that could be taking place any moment of his only sister.  
  
No noise came. Time only dragged by and soon Lizzie became fed up with waiting. That was her room, dammit! She decided to kill time by sifting through the cds the previous owner had left behind.  
As she approached her bedroom door, a chill came over her and the doorknob felt like ice. When her door was open a cool breeze washed around her and she shivered over how cold it was. The temperature must have been below freezing and she pulled a hoodie over her head before walking around the bed to the cd rack. She pulled a stack out and dropped them in the middle of the bedspread before crawling on, debating whether or not it was worth crawling under the covers as well or not.  
  
She didn’t get that far in her thoughts, because the note she had left had more writing on it…again. This guy moved fast, how was he doing this? Magic tricks?  
  
_I’m sorry, Lizzie. I won’t bother you anymore._  
  
\- Frank  
  
Lizzie let out a frustrated cry and balled the paper up into a ball, chucking it clear across the room where it bounced off the closet door and landed on the carpeted floor. The note wasn’t settling at all, there was still a stalker in her house and she inhaled deeply, trying to relax herself. Her fingers twitched with her cell-phone, debating whether or not to call the police.  
  
In the end she put the phone down and picked up one of the cds. The music matched the posters on the walls alright. _Nirvana_ , _Black Flag_ and _Misfits_. What she wasn’t expecting to find in the pile was a photograph. A polaroid picture, how archaic. Evidently the picture had been crammed between two of the cd’s and she viewed the bottom of it , startled over the scrawled print that looked oddly similar to the print on the note she’d just thrown.  
  
**Frank and Daphne.**  
XO  
1988  
  
Lizzie felt the air leave her lungs and her blood freeze for the billionth time in three days. Frank. That’s who was writing her notes. Frank. That was the boy in the picture – all smiling and energetic with a girl wrapped up in his arms. He couldn’t have been more than seventeen or eighteen years old, decked out in a punk style that matched the posters and music she was coming across. His nose was pierced as well as his lip. Eye makeup was evident and his hair dyed funky colours. He adorned the Misfits hoodie she had found in one of the dresser drawers. Frank. This was his old room… His old room. If this was 1988 then Frank would be something like forty-one or forty-two years old now.  
  
Lizzie’s gaze landed on the balled up paper laying unmoved on the floor. Frank was writing to her, but how the hell could that be? Maybe he never left the house and maybe he was some old hermit who was living in the attic. Lizzie had to find the attic, and now. Automatically her gaze zeroed in on the closet door, where all the chaos seemed to begin and draw from. Her legs were shaky but if this guy was writing to her, then the only place he could possibly be hiding was up in the attic. And if he could answer her notes that fast and still get away without being see, then the entrance to the attic must be in her bedroom somewhere.  
  
The closet door opened with a squeak and she stared up at the ceiling first, but try and she might, she found no crack indicating a hidden door of some kind. Her hands traveled along the walls of the closet next, sliding across the cheap wallpapering lightly until they came around to the back wall and she paused. There, hidden amongst the tacky design was a tiny notch in the wall that she could get three fingers under. Without giving it too much thought she pulled and gasped when a hidden staircase was revealed, leading up into shadows.  
  
“This house is worthy of being featured in a horror film,” Lizzie muttered and started up the creaky steps hesitantly until she reached the top. The ceiling wasn’t high by any means, but it was still high enough for her to stand up straight. There was only a little amount of light that shone in through the lone window at the front of the house, and otherwise things were left in shadows. She gave the place a cautious quick look around first, but didn’t spot a hermit. In fact, there wasn’t much to look at like she expected there to be. A few boxes here and there, an old record player, a Christmas tree, some Halloween decorations, some dusty old quilts and a world globe. She stepped into each shadowed corner of the room to be sure of what she saw, but she didn’t see anything and that was causing her an even bigger problem. This man wasn’t hiding in the attic, so how was he possibly answering her notes?  
  
Another chill crawled up her spine and the air became increasingly colder. It scared Lizzie and she backed up toward the staircase. “Hello?” she squeaked nervously and full out screamed when a hand clamped down on her shoulder.  
  
“Jesus,” Isaac’s voice responded, equally startled. “Are you alright? Whoa, how did you find this place? This is so cool! Did you look in the boxes? What do you think are in the boxes?”  
  
Isaac didn’t waste time snooping and was meddling with the tape on one of the boxes when he looked up at his sister and smirked. “What, did you see a ghost or something? You look pale.”  
“No,” she glared firmly but then something in the far corner caught her eye. The figure resembled a boy, but when she dared to blink, the boy was gone and her brother continued to stare at her oddly. “No, I didn’t see a fucking ghost. You almost gave me a heart attack though! Can’t you warn someone before you just sneak up behind them?!”  
  
“Sorry,” he laughed. “Jeez you’re jumpy. As if you got the room with the attic. You get all the luck.”  
  
“…Sure.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie shoved her thoughts to the back of her mind when her mother got home and spent the remainder of the day helping set up downstairs until it began to look as if human beings actually inhabited this ungodly looking place. And it really helped having something as familiar as the TV set situated in the living room where she spent a couple hours with her brother and mom watching _Friends_ reruns and eating frozen TV dinners.  
  
The feelings of anxiety didn’t overcome again until she was headed back up the stairs for some quiet time and then bed. The hallway was still cold – thick with something she couldn’t explain but made it a bit more difficult to breathe. Forty something year old Frank wasn’t hiding out in the attic. No one was, but that didn’t explain the noises at night or the notes being answered.  
  
It was the figure in the hallways that both startled Lizzie and made her come to some sort of resolution to all her unanswered questions. As quick as she saw him was as quick as he vanished, but Lizzie was sure she had seen Frank. Not middle aged Frank though. The boy she saw looked almost identical to the polaroid picture she had found earlier that day amongst the cds. Lizzie stood stunned, staring at the same spot, waiting for the boy to come back. Lizzie was sure now that she was dealing with the supernatural.  
  
Her room was freezing, but what else was new? The balled up note still lay on the ground and she picked it back up with shaky fingers and nervous chills. On her bed still lay the cds and photograph of Frank and Daphne. With precise hands she unfolded and flattened out the paper to the best of her ability in order to see it next to the writing on the polaroid, and sure enough it was a match. Lizzie felt the tears rush to her eyes, because this was some freaky stuff. Lizzie never backed down from a fight though and she stubbornly picked up the pen once again, sucked in a brave breath of air and wrote.  
  
_Is this your room?_  
  
How old are you?  
  
\- Lizzie (17 years old)  
  
She placed the note at the very edge of her bed and shut the lights off to welcome sleep, which didn’t come easily. She was stressed out over the prospect of a stranger watching her as she slept. She was terrified of how the responses were done, but even trying to force herself to keep awake didn’t work. She fell asleep and didn’t wake until morning.  
  
The sun shone through the lone window in her room and the cold air had warmed significantly since last night. Lizzie pounced forward almost instantly to snatch up the note and found it responded to.  
  
_Yes._  
  
I’m 19  
  
You forgive me?  
  
\- Frank  
  
Forgive him? Lizzie’s head was spinning, she didn’t even know what to do anymore.  
  
_I don’t know…_  
Why don’t you ever come talk to me in person then? What’s with the sketchy notes?  
  
Knowing full well by now that her question wouldn’t be answered until she left the room, Lizzie proceeded to make her morning stroll downstairs for breakfast and would come check after. Nineteen? This couldn’t be Frank from the picture she was speaking to.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“Your brother and I are going out to explore Jersey a little bit today,” Olivia spoke as soon as Lizzie entered the kitchen. Today she was flipping pancakes, an uplifting sight to behold after having been living off of Pop-Tarts, fast food and frozen TV dinners for the past three weeks it took to pack up and move. There was even a bowl of fresh fruit in the middle of the table and if Lizzie wasn’t so puzzled and worried about all of the happenings in her sketchy room, she might have even smiled at what felt like a treat.  
  
Isaac sat at the table, already consuming a banana and flipping through the newspaper. Lizzie knew few teenagers who took the time to read the morning paper, but her brother was one of those exceptions and he tended to act a few years older than he was.  
  
“What’s in the paper?” she muttered and took a seat next to him, her eyes practically raping the bowl of fruit as she scouted out the perfect apple to munch on before the pancakes were finished.  
  
“This is New Jersey,” Isaac shrugged, “what do you think’s in the paper? Homicide, suicide and assault.”  
  
“Isaac, that’s not a very uplifting topic,” Olivia scoffed. “Let’s at least try focusing on the positive, alright, kids? Are you going to come explore Jersey today, Liz? I’ll buy you a new cd if you do,” she bribed with a wink.  
  
“I’m not really in the mood,” Lizzie mumbled rather apologetically. After all, a new cd would be fantastic. “I just sort of want to crash here again today. Maybe I’ll clean up the attic or something. There’s not that much up there anyway, it’d only take one person to work on it.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Olivia sighed disappointedly. “You’ll be missed, Liz, and I think it’d be good for you to get out and see that New Jersey isn’t just a town of broken dreams, you know? There’s a whole city out there to explore and find beauty in.”  
  
“That’s very profound of you to say, mother,” Lizzie grinned teasingly.  
  
Olivia returned the smile and carried over a plate of pancakes. “I try. Now here we go. Real food. Eat up, both of you.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie didn’t return to her bedroom until after her mom and brother had left. Outside looked beautiful today, but her stomach was in knots and she didn’t feel like moving a muscle, let alone walk around the neighbourhood. Instead she dug around through her boxes until she found the docking station for her Ipod and immediately went about hooking it up to the ancient looking outlet. Lizzie was by no means a technician and the task was more challenging than she originally thought it would be. Isaac had been the one to hook it up for her back at home while she blabbed on and on about blasting her tunes. Now she wished she had paid attention when he attempted to explain to her what had to be done to get the system to actually sound her wickedly awesome tunes.  
  
Crossing her fingers, Lizzie flipped the switch one more time in attempt to get some sound from the speakers and grinned when _Fall Out Boy_ filled her room loudly. “About fucking time,” she muttered and danced around her room briefly until her eyes finally spotted the note on her bed. Without the hesitation she had when she first began discovering the papers she swiped it up and let her eyes dart over the scrawled response.  
  
_I don’t want to freak you out… I tend to freak people out. And I’m horrible at being very social anymore… Would you talk to me if I showed myself to you?_  
  
\- F  
  
Lizzie’s brow furrowed over the note in a mix of feelings. It was mostly confusion, but there was also sympathy. Why would he freak people out? Was he disfigured or something?  
  
_Are you like Phantom of the Opera or something that your face is all altered? Is that why you freak people out? You show up at my door, I’ll talk._  
  
Lizzie propped the note up against her pillow and yawned as she bopped her head to the music and sat on the ledge of the window in her room to stare at the tree blocking her view. “This house isn’t normal,” she began to mumble to herself miserably. “School’s going to suck so bad.”  
  
“Doesn’t it always though?” a voice she didn’t recognize startled her from behind.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	3. Chapter 3

Lizzie momentarily forgot how to breathe and fell from the ledge onto the floor, letting her eyes dart around the room until landing on the guy standing in her doorway.  
  
“Who the fuck are you?” she shouted and fumbled for her cell phone, all intentions of calling the police if her brain would work. “Oh my God,” she shook in a panic when he took a couple steps toward her. If she wasn’t so scared she might have recognized him from the photograph still sat upon the night table.  
  
“No, no,” he begged. “Hey, it’s alright, you don’t need to call for help or anything, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry! You said I should show up at your door. I’m here. Hi!”  
  
“What?” Lizzie dared to look up at the young man, who was barely a man. He was young and punk. If she wasn’t so terrified she might even call him good looking.  
  
“I’m Frank,” he explained, having ceased his approach toward her and was now standing near the doorway, frozen and with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.  
  
Lizzie’s eyes grew wide and she backed right up against the wall. “You can’t be. Frank should be older. In his forties or something.”  
  
“Forties?” the boy cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “What year is it?”  
  
“2012…”  
  
“2012?” he repeated, his eyes growing equally as wide and surprised. “Holy shit.”  
  
“What the fuck?” Lizzie muttered and rubbed at her eyes. “What the hell prank is this?”  
  
“2012,” the boy muttered and paced around, a hand gripping his hair. “That’s a long time.”  
  
Lizzie let her gaze follow his pacing form, unsure of what to do or how any of this was possible. “Is this some kind of prank?”  
  
“Huh?” his head shot up to look at her. “Prank? No. 2012..shit. Wow.”  
  
“How did you get into the house?” she rose to her feet firmly. It was evident this guy wasn’t going to hurt her. He didn’t appear to have a weapon and his eyes didn’t reflect signs of a psychopath. “The doors are locked. And how have you been writing those notes so fast without being caught? Who are you and what exactly do you want?”  
  
“…I was in the house already,” he explained easily with a small shrug, his face emotionless as if simply stating a fact, rather than teasing or taunting. “I’ve been here awhile.”  
  
“That doesn’t explain the notes. How did you write them so fast and take off without being caught? Where did you hide?”  
  
“Uh, the attic,” he shrugged again and rubbed the back of his neck – a bit nervous over her interrogating as he seemed to struggle for an answer. “I’d come down when you left.”  
  
“How would you know if I had left the room? You’d have to sneak out of the closet. This is fucking scary, dude! I should call the cops on you!” She reached for the phone again but he moved forward and held a hand out to pause her.  
  
“No, hey, look, no need for cops, it won’t solve anything. I’m not going to hurt you and I’ll leave if you want me to. You said you wanted to see me face to face. Well…” he gave a small smile. “Hey. Face to face, right? Am I hideously altered?”  
  
Lizzie stared back and blushed lightly. “No.”  
  
His smile widened a bit and then he moved around her to the cd rack. “I liked that song you sang. That date one. What is it?”  
  
“ _Blink 182_?” Lizzie eyed him skeptically, trying to process the fact that a random guy who looked the exact same age he did in an old photograph she found was now rifling through cds happily.  
  
“I’ve never heard of them,” he muttered rather disappointedly. “I don’t own anything by them.”  
  
“Well if those are you cds…they’re kind of…uh…old? You like vintage?”  
  
“Vintage?” he laughed loudly. “Seriously? This band is brand new,” he held up a _Green Day_ EP with a grin. “Not too many people know about them yet.”  
  
“ _Green Day_ is brand new?” It was Lizzie’s turn to laugh. “Dude, _Green Day_ has been around forever! They’re one of the biggest bands out there. _American Idiot_ was a good record.”  
  
Frank’s expression fell and he eyed the disc oddly. “ _American Idiot_?” He was quiet for a moment and then perked back up. “Would you play it for me?”  
  
“I don’t even know who the fuck you are.”  
  
“Frank.”  
  
“Yeah, ok, so why are you in my room?”  
  
“I could ask the same thing, huh?” he smirked. “This is my room after all. You invaded it with your girly presence. Like, come on, what is this junk?” He pointed to a stack of teen gossip magazines. “This is supposed to be a vampire?” he frowned, a finger pointed to a sparkling Robert Pattinson. “ _Twilight_? Pansy shit.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“Well, come on, vampires shouldn’t exist on the cover of girly magazines. They exist in horror movies and graphic novels – not on covers of, like, _Cosmo_ or something, giving girls the hottest new tips on sex and cosmetics.”  
  
“I like _Cosmo_ , thanks!”  
  
“You like pansy vampires too?”  
  
“Not really, but you don’t have to tear apart the fandom without knowing anything about it.”  
  
“What do you read _Cosmo_ for then?”  
  
Lizzie was thrown off, confused, flustered and generally frustrated over this guy’s presence in her room when she knew nothing about him or where he came from. “I don’t know! Just- Hollywood updates or something. Makeup advice. What are you doing in this house?”  
  
“I live here. Jeez, Lizzie, keep up, huh?” he teased and held some cds out to her. “Can you play these?”  
  
“I don’t have a cd player in here… I buy my music off the computer. You know, Itunes?”  
  
“Computer? Computers let you play music now?”  
  
“Computers are how the world runs now, buddy… What century are you from?”  
  
“I was born in 1970,” he answered easily, his attention fixated on his collection again. “You don’t have a cd player? Will your magical computer play these in there still?”  
  
“1970?” Lizzie’s expression turned horrified. “So… Why- Like-“  
  
Frank’s eyes flickered up to meet hers and it seemed to dawn on him what he had said. “Yeah.”  
“You’re not real. Oh God I’m hallucinating or something. This house is so messed up,” she plunked down on her bed and covered her head with her arms.  
  
“You’re not hallucinating,” Frank giggled, his voice close, and when Lizzie looked back up was startled to find him sitting next to her on the bed, though she hadn’t heard him move and she didn’t feel the bed sink under his weight. “Or maybe you are,” he shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, this isn’t exactly an everyday occurrence I guess. I’d probably be tripping out too. Do you do drugs?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“I used to smoke pot sometimes, but not a lot.”  
  
Lizzie’s mind was reeling and she glanced over to the photograph on her dresser before back to Frank. “You’re nineteen.”  
  
“Yup,” he smiled and got up from the bed to sift through more of the cds scattered about on the floor now. He took them out of the rack in piles, giddy and excited, mumbling about which ones he wanted to hear first on her revolutionary box of magic that was a computer. He didn’t seem to believe a computer would be able to play a cd and muttered about which one he’d sacrifice first in case the computer chose to eat it up instead of actually play it.  
  
“But you were born in 1970.”  
  
“On Halloween!”  
  
“On Halloween… Ok. So, what? Do you take some kind of aging potion or something?”  
  
“They say when you die, you stay the age you died at forever,” he explained in a voice barely above a whisper and then dared to lift his gaze to hers. “Does that help?”  
  
Lizzie stared in a horror she never experience before and she curled her knees up to her chin. “You’re not alive. I must be hallucinating. It’s this house, it seriously is,” she sniffled and rubbed her hands over her face, trying to make sense of the situation. “I must be on fucking drugs or something that I don’t know about.”  
  
“Or you could be in fact conversing with a ghost,” Frank explained lightly with a small giggle at the end of his sentence.  
  
Lizzie suddenly lunged forward and punched Frank’s arm so hard it sent him forward with a jolt and a frown her way. “-the hell was that for, Lizzie?”  
  
“If you were a ghost my hand would have went right through you,” she shouted her reasoning with a glare. “You’re not a ghost!”  
  
“I’m also not in pain am I?” he pointed out. “I don’t feel physical contact! Well…not really. I can take human form though, that’s why you can see me right now.”  
  
“You can be invisible? Be invisible.”  
  
Frank kept his gaze on her as his body faded to nothing.  
  
“Where did you go?” Lizzie asked hesitantly and searched around the room, afraid he was going to appear out of nowhere.  
  
“I’m still right here,” he explained.  
  
Lizzie reached her hand out to make contact with where his body would be and felt the air become increasingly colder until she snapped her hand back and winced. “Sorry.”  
  
Frank made himself appear again and shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t feel anything, it’s ok. Your hand went right through my chest,” he giggled and smirked over her disgusted expression.  
  
Lizzie sat back down at the edge of her bed and began chewing on her nails, gathering all of his pieces of information to attempt forming a complete story. “You’re forever nineteen then.”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
“You were born in 1970 and so that’s why you act like such a caveman.”  
  
“Hey now,” he narrowed his eyes.  
  
“Well why don’t you know about anything out there? Like the new music and technology? You could just walk outside.”  
  
“I can’t leave the house,” he muttered miserably. “I’m stuck in here.”  
  
“Why can’t you leave?”  
  
“It’s a boundary thing,” he sighed sadly with a shrug and let his gaze travel around the carpet until he settled on her figure again with a weak smile. “So what happens now, Lizzie? You’re not freaking out on me.”  
  
“I don’t think I really understand any of this yet, but you don’t seem like… Well, you’re not going to hurt me, so I don’t see a need to panic I guess. I’m questioning my sanity though.”  
  
“I question mine every fucking day too,” he grinned and picked up a stack of cds to bring to her. “Can you play these on your computer?”  
  
Lizzie eyed him incredulously but leaned over to pick up her laptop case from the top of a cardboard box. She sat cross legged on the bed and Frank sat next to her, though if she wasn’t looking at him she’d never know there was someone beside her. At least until his arm bumped hers and she shivered at the cold contact.  
  
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I know, I’m freezing.”  
  
“It’s ok…” she blushed, unsure of what the hell to think anymore anyway. She pulled her Apple laptop out and opened it with a quiet sigh. The simple action of opening the computer nearly sent him falling off the bed in surprise.  
  
“What the fuck is that?” he asked. “Holy shit! That’s a computer?”  
  
“Yeah. Why? What were computers in the eighties like?”  
  
“Well-“ he shrugged and attempted to piece together a decent explanation until Lizzie became tired of trying to understand and simply Googled it, prompting more disbelief from the boy next to her.  
  
“How did you do that?”  
  
“Internet? You can search stuff. They didn’t have internet when you were…alive?”  
  
“No,” he shook his head and reached out to take over the keyboard. “Well, maybe, but not like this. Can I try?”  
  
“Uh, sure,” Lizzie shrugged, watching as his face turned serious in concentration. Then his fingers carefully typed “Misfits” into the browser and he bounced on the bed, elated when information came up. Quickly he pointed to a video that appeared under the results.  
  
“You can watch videos on the internet now too?”  
  
Lizzie laughed and smiled genuinely over his happiness. “Yeah. Youtube. On Youtube you can watch video clips and stuff. The computer, along with television is why obesity is at an all-time high. It keeps kids glued to the screen.”  
  
“Yeah, I can see why,” Frank practically purred. “Jesus this is rad.”  
  
Lizzie found it odd that a man who had been dead since 1989 was more excited over the prospect of playing on a computer than having human conversation regarding the fact that he was the living dead. “How are you so enthralled with a computer when you could be talking to me about the fact that…you’re a ghost?”  
  
Frank let his gaze flicker from the computer long enough to give her a look. “Well, I figure if I start talking about the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy then you might flip out. Besides, it’s probably not as exciting as you think, and right now I’m pretty psyched just to be talking to someone again in general.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged and nodded. “Alright. We’ll leave out the heavy questions today.”  
  
Frank smiled widely, “Thanks, Lizzie… For, you know… Not flipping out or anything. A lot of people have run away scared. It’s nice to have someone sit and chat first.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Hours faded into the past as Lizzie sat up against the pillows on her bed, listening to the various cds the ghost boy chose out of his collection and watched as he explored the internet, searching anything from his favourite bands to moments in history he’d missed out on.  
  
The temperature in the room noticeably fluctuated through the passing hours and Lizzie was constantly pulling her hoodie off and on to keep up. The only conclusion she could make was that it was Frank changing the sauna into an icebox and back. She held off saying anything because he was so thrilled over the prospect of a human not being bothered by the fact that he was of supernatural mystery, but it had to be asked.  
  
Lizzie chose a moment when the room was an absolute sauna to ask him her question. He was babbling on about how he should create a Facebook account for himself and really freak out any of his old friends that could be tracked down on the site.  
  
“Uh, Frank?”  
  
“What?” he giggled and looked over his shoulder. His grin was wide and happy and his eyes lit up with joy.  
  
“Do you, like, change the temperature or something? In the house?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Well, I mean, the other day- It’s hot as hell outside, I don’t know if you know it, but it’s burning up out there. And when we came into the house it was like walking into a meat locker, so… We don’t have an AC. Or better yet you don’t have an AC in this house.”  
  
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Do I?”  
  
“I’ve been in here with you for almost four hours now, probably, and it keeps getting really hot or really cold.”  
  
“Oh… Maybe. I wouldn’t know. I don’t really feel temperature differences.”  
  
Lizzie chewed on her bottom lip and watched as her friendly ghost went back to being a fanatic of the internet. She didn’t like not having an answer. This house was already full of unanswered questions so walking away from yet another was disconcerting. There had to be a reason for the temperature difference and Frank had to be the reason for it if he hadn’t the slightest clue otherwise.  
  
Then it dawned on Lizzie and she hesitantly moved forward to sit beside Frank at the laptop as he was attempting to figure out how to begin an account on Facebook. It looked as if he was going to pull through with his stupid idea and Lizzie rolled her eyes as a result.  
  
“Can ghosts even get their picture taken?”  
  
“I can’t see my reflection in the mirror so I doubt it,” he shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
“You need to create an email account first before you can sign up on Facebook,” she mumbled and pointed to the screen to back-up her information. “You can’t see your reflection? So how are you going to upload pictures to your Facebook account if you make one? I haven’t found any old pictures of you other than that one,” she pointed to the polaroid left lying on the dresser next to the bed.  
  
Frank followed her direction to the photograph and Lizzie literally felt the temperature in the room drop at least ten degrees. “Shit,” she mumbled and reached for her hoodie. Evidently she was on the right track to discovering useful information. “Is that your girlfriend?” she questioned carelessly.  
  
The temperature in the room dropped another ten degrees and Lizzie shivered. Gazing at the ceiling she was sure it was about to snow.  
  
“Yeah,” Frank finally whispered. “Daphne. That’s Daphne…. And that’s me,” he spoke shakily.  
  
“You’re definitely the reason this room is an icebox,” Lizzie commented and wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to keep warm. A layer of frost was coating the window of the bedroom and her breath created small wisps of air.  
  
Frank’s gaze flickered up and Lizzie was taken aback to find tears shimmering in his eyes. “Must be,” he mumbled and just like that was exiting the bedroom.  
  
“Hey, wait,” Lizzie called and chased after him, only to find the hallway empty. Frank had vanished and the polaroid picture lay abandoned on the floor.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia and Isaac didn’t return home for another couple hours, but Lizzie lost all track of time as she tidied up the cds and then brought her laptop downstairs where it was warmer in order to track down any information she could find on Frank. That was easier said than done when she hadn’t the faintest idea what his last name was or what letter it even began with.  
  
It also took Lizzie far too long to realize that she had been pretty insensitive toward her new ghostly friend. She had sprung the photograph on him and then ignored his comments about it when she should have listened to what he had to say. Lizzie had long since called out her apology, but that didn’t bring Frank back, and the temperature, though a few degrees warmer, was still near freezing.  
  
“Home,” Olivia called as soon as the door was open. “And we brought food!”  
  
“Jeez, it’s cold in here again,” Isaac commented.  
  
“Lizzie?”  
  
“In here,” Lizzie responded and exited the search on her computer. She would need to somehow speak with Frank again in order to obtain a last name. That was assuming she hadn’t been imagining the entire afternoon and Frank really did exist somewhere in Cujo’s loft.  
  
Olivia and Isaac were quick to pull on sweatshirts and join Lizzie in the den, questioning whether or not it had been that cold since they left and how she had managed to stay indoors with it being so cold. As a result and much to Lizzie’s annoyance Olivia convinced both her children to eat in the backyard in some lawn chairs and at a rusty old table that Lizzie vocally stated her concern about contracting some sort of disease being within ten steps of it.  
  
“Oh don’t be a big baby, Elizabeth,” Olivia sighed. “You’ll be just fine, it’s not like you’re eating food right off of it, that’s what the wrapper is for on your food. Maybe after we’re finished eating I can get you to mow the lawn, Ike?”  
  
Isaac looked up through his bangs and gave a small laugh, “Mom, I think we need a machete to get through this forest. I don’t think a lawnmower is going to do any kind of damage to those weeds.”  
  
Olivia let her gaze survey the backyard thoroughly before speaking in agreement. “You’re right. Well then I guess the first thing that needs to be done is pulling out some weeds and shortening the grass before we bring the mower to it. We still have a few hours’ worth of daylight left so we can get started today.”  
  
“Seriously, mom?” Isaac sighed. It wasn’t very often Isaac argued, but it seemed he was finally at his wits end with the move and let it show. “It can’t wait until tomorrow? I’m tired after being dragged around all of Jersey. Just sort of want to crash in my room.”  
  
“What use is it being locked up in your room when it’s so cold?” Olivia countered. “Now it’s not too hot out and it’s much better than freezing inside, so I think it’s best we just get it started. Then the sooner it will be done and we can move on to more exciting changes in the house. Lizzie, that reminds me, I made some arrangements for all that junk in your room to be picked up tomorrow, so I hope you have it all packed and ready to go.”  
  
“…Most of it I guess,” Lizzie grimaced. The truth was that Lizzie hadn’t gotten around to packing a single thing, other than some of the clothes in the room. Then Frank had appeared at her door out of thin air and sort of proved to be a greater distraction than deciding which possessions would be dubbed useless to her. On top of that, it turned out the owner of said possessions was technically still present and would probably be quite upset if she just shipped all his belongings off. Lizzie was faced with a problem now and it required speaking with Frank before the morning. “…But I still have quite a bit to do, mom, so can I be excused from clean-up duty back here so I can finish off my room?”  
  
Olivia eyed her daughter skeptically, as if judging whether or not she was fibbing, but nodded in the end and excused her. “Please don’t freeze to death in there though. Wear a couple sweaters and dig out the heater to plug into your room while you work. I’ll call up my real-estate owner in the morning and see if I can’t get some more information about why our house might be Jack Frost’s lair.”  
  
In a flash Lizzie was back inside and making her way toward the staircase. The temperature seemed to be the same since her mom and brother returned home and with each step ascending Lizzie’s heart rate picked up. It wasn’t fear exactly, because Lizzie knew what the odd presence in the house was now. His name was Frank and he was a friendly ghost with what appeared to be a sad past. Obviously a sad past considering he was a dead nineteen year old. What worried Lizzie now was that Frank wasn’t going to speak with her again.  
  
The door to her room was shut and Lizzie hesitated before turning the doorknob. Instead she knocked first out of politeness. Technically this was Frank’s room and she was invading it now. “Frank?”  
After a moment of silence Lizzie peeked inside the room and glanced around to find it empty. Everything was how she had left it and while that should bring some sort of comfort it only brought Lizzie more unsettled thoughts than if something was out of place. “Frank?” she whispered. Could ghosts hear well? “Frank, can we talk again? I want to apologize to you and I have to talk to you about your stuff.”  
  
Silence.  
  
Lizzie gave a defeated sigh and decided she’d need some hot chocolate to help battle through the cold as she worked. She half expected Frank to be waiting for her in the kitchen when she got there, but he wasn’t and more and more she grew disappointed. Disappointed over the absence of a ghost’s haunting. Lizzie really was going nuts. Or maybe Frank was just good company, she couldn’t decide what it was, but the last thing she expected to find when she returned to her bedroom was Frank seated at the edge of her bed.  
  
His expression was miserable and his body was hunched over as if he might be physically ill. “Hi,” she piped up a bit too excitedly. “You came back!”  
  
“I didn’t go anywhere,” he mumbled. “Can’t go anywhere.”  
  
“Right… Sorry. Did you want some hot chocolate?”  
  
“I don’t drink. Or eat.”  
  
“Do you sleep?”  
  
“I rest. I don’t sleep.”  
  
Lizzie chewed on her bottom lip and then shuffled closer to Frank until she was sitting next to him and sipping her hot beverage. “I’m sorry about before. That was really stupid of me… What I said and all. I should have been more sensitive about it. Well I guess it’s none of my business anyway and then when I just blabbered on about the temperature and stuff… Stupid. It was stupid.”  
  
Frank looked up at her and gave a really small smile before shrugging it off. “It’s ok, Lizzie.”  
  
She nodded slowly and then simmered in the silence for another moment before speaking. “Is there any way I can cheer you up?”  
  
“You just want to warm the house up,” he grinned knowingly.  
  
“No- well, yes, but I’d like to cheer you up too!”  
  
The temperature in the room already began to change and Lizzie smiled. “I need your help, Frank.”  
  
“You need to clean out the room and want to know if I’m ok with it. Right?”  
  
Lizzie opened and closed her mouth a few times before nodding. “How-“  
  
“I’m around,” he shrugged with a weak smile and motioned around with his hand. “Not always lingering around this room. I can still move around the whole house.”  
  
Lizzie swallowed thickly and tried to keep her tears at bay, because it was finally hitting her like a ton of bricks that she was in fact talking to a ghost. She wasn’t scared, but she was filled with such sadness that it almost overcame her. Frank wasn’t living, he was dead and yet here she was speaking with him. That should be enough to freak anyone out, but for some reason Lizzie felt no need to panic.  
  
“It’s fine,” he continued.  
  
“Well I figured we could go through your stuff together and if there are some things that mean a lot to you we’ll keep them hidden somewhere. The attic even. And you can keep it.”  
  
The temperature in the room rose again and Frank’s smile widened. “Really? Thanks, Lizzie. That’s really nice of you.”  
  
“We have to get it all done tonight though because my mom has people coming to pick whatever you don’t want up in the morning. Uh, and I don’t know about you, but I’m keeping all your cds.”  
  
Frank gave a laugh and the temperature increased again, allowing Lizzie to finally take her sweater off and set her hot chocolate aside for the time being. “Alright, ghost boy, let’s get a move on.”  
  
Rising from the bed, Frank practically glided across the room to the boxes of clothes Lizzie had already packed. For a while he rummaged around in the boxes until he made a pleased noise and pulled a hoodie out of the box. It was a simple red hoodie, but it obviously held some significance to him as he beamed at the material and then held it up to show Lizzie. “This. This is a keep.”  
  
“Can you wear other clothes than what you are right now? Like, can you change?”  
  
“Honestly I’ve never actually tried. I don’t get dirty or anything like that. It’s weird, I know.”  
  
“Well you could try now?”  
  
Frank pulled on the red hoodie and sighed happily as he pulled the hood up and grinned toward Lizzie. “Perfect. Just like I remember it. This is my favourite hoodie.”  
  
“Looks good on you,” Lizzie returned the smile. “You have a real specific taste in fashion and stuff.”  
  
“Born and raised on music will do that to you,” he explained while sifting through some more of his clothes.  
  
“I’d say we could just keep it all, but then my mom would start to question my sanity.”  
  
“There’s no need to keep it all anyway. But there are a few things I’d still like to hold onto.”  
  
“Then whatever you want just toss onto my bed and then we’ll pack it into a separate box.”  
  
Frank nodded and did as told, tossing a couple t-shirts, another hoodie , a pair of jeans and three different belts onto the bed, along with what he dubbed his lucky underwear. Lizzie was continuously throwing glances at the boy in her room. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that he wasn’t alive; that he was the spirit of a dead teenager from 1989. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that someone as sweet as Frank could be dead. At least he gave the impression that he was sweet, and for the time being Lizzie was going to assume he was.  
  
For the next hour they worked as a team and packed up the belongings he was willing to part with. Lizzie couldn’t imagine being in his place. She couldn’t imagine having to be rid of most of her belongings and worldly possessions. Yet he smiled and made jokes throughout it all, asking her where she had come from and why they had moved into the house. He wanted to know what her favourite bands were, regardless of the fact that he hadn’t hear of most of them. He wanted to know about her friends, about technology, about the latest movies in the theatre. Frank wanted to know the world of 2012, and the only way he could explore it was through the internet and through her eyes.  
  
“Well the internet pretty much is the world today, Frank, so you’re not missing out on a whole lot. You can talk to different people around the world in chat rooms online if you really wanted. Just, you know, keep your lesser knowledge of today unknown. Keep your love for the 80’s to a minimum.”  
  
“Hey, the 80’s were great!”  
  
“Not when you’re talking to a kid who was born in 1997! They’re going to think you’re a real loser!”  
  
“You don’t think I’m a loser. Or do you?”  
  
“No, but I also know that you’re…you know…”  
  
“Dead?”  
  
“Don’t say that. It gives me the creeps.”  
  
Instead of becoming upset Frank grinned and inched toward her, hands extended and fingers wiggling. Lizzie knew what was coming before it occurred and she made a desperate attempt to escape but was quickly caught by Frank who tickled her sides and made stereotypical ghost noises. “Woooo!”  
  
Lizzie finally escaped and flashed her new friend a smile. “I’ll get you back.”  
  
“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged and then scratched the back of his head, taking a glance around the room once more. “Looks like it’s pretty tidied up, huh? Now what?”  
  
“Uh, well I’m going to shower and then go to bed probably.”  
  
“Kay, but don’t freeze your ass off like that first time,” he winked.  
  
“Yeah I- Hold up. Wait a minute. How would you know about that?”  
  
“I’m around,” he smirked and backed up toward the attic door.  
  
“You watched me shower?!”  
  
Frank giggled, “Kay, no, I didn’t watch you. I’m not a perv, man. I heard you though – I hear pretty much everything said in the house.”  
  
“That’s unnerving,” Lizzie spoke the honest truth and frowned at the boy in front of her. “I don’t like that.”  
  
“It’s not my favourite trait, trust me, but it’s real difficult to block out, I’ve tried. Whispering is the absolute worst. It’s like – It’s like your voice is amplified to me when you guys whisper. It makes me tune in more clearly than if you were screaming at each other. Know what I mean?”  
  
“Sort of?”  
  
“Just trust me. It’s shitty. So…if you really want my attention…or, you know, need me for something… Just whisper.”  
  
“Ok.”  
  
“I’ll piss off for the night now and let you try to process the fact that you’re mental and are now seeing ghosts.”  
  
Frank was obviously teasing, but that didn’t help ease Lizzie’s mind. Maybe she was _mental_. Either way, Frank was the first friend she had made in dirty Jersey, and even though he was dated on current affairs in the world, Lizzie could tell he would have some of the best advice she could find on matters.  
  
“Kay… Night…Frank.”  
  
He made kissy faces at her and then disappeared up the attic steps with his box of favourite possessions.  
…………………………………………………………………...........................................................................................  
  
It was a knock at the door that awoke Lizzie the next morning. She reluctantly forced an eye open and groaned into her pillow before checking the time. It was only 8 AM and being the month of July this was unacceptable on many levels. “What?” she managed to call out groggily.  
  
Isaac peered into the room looking equally as tired and with his hair sticking up in all directions; it was evident he had been rudely awakened as well. “Mom said to wake you up. Those guys will be here in an hour to pick up the boxes.”  
  
“So what’re you doing up?” Lizzie responded lazily and rest her eyes again.  
  
“Mom’s dragging us around town again after they leave,” he frowned. “You should’ve just come yesterday and that would’ve saved me the extra trip.”  
  
Lizzie forced herself up on her elbows and tilted her head to the side to stare at him. “Are you kidding me?”  
  
“Wish I was. So are you going to stay up now? Because I’m going back to bed.”  
  
“Yeah. Up.”  
  
Isaac shut the door a litter harder than necessary and a moment later Lizzie could hear another slam of a door, indicating her brother had in fact gone back to bed. Olivia would pitch a fit, but it was her own fault for dragging him around all day yesterday, making him clean up the yard and then demanding he awake with bright eyes in anticipation for another jam-packed day of playing the tourist.  
  
Once Lizzie was capable of focusing her vision it automatically settled on the top of the dresser where she had left her laptop. Only her laptop was now missing and she sat up quickly in alarm. Glancing up at the ceiling she opened her mouth and then closed it. If she were to shout then her family would surely submit her to the psychiatric ward for having an invisible friend at her age. “Frank,” she whispered.  
  
A minute ticked by until the door to her closet creaked open quietly and Frank cautiously looked around the corner at her with a smile. “Morning, princess, I saw the itinerary and you’re in for a day of fun, fun, fun!”  
  
“Where’s my laptop?”  
  
“I borrowed it. I was extra careful, don’t worry, it’s still in one piece and runs like a champion. I was bored last night while you slept and there was nothing on TV. Your shows have gone to shit. What the hell is reality TV?”  
  
“You should ask before taking people’s things, Frank! Jesus. That’s my personal property!”  
  
“Chill out, I wasn’t snooping through your private files or anything. I was checking out stuff on the internet program.”  
  
“It’s just called the internet,” Lizzie yawned. It was too early to be dealing with Frank’s lack of awareness at 8 AM. “You were surfing the web.”  
  
“Well if that’s what you kids are calling it these days… I was watching ITube.”  
  
"YouTube.”  
  
“Yeah we all tube, but that Blink band is really fucking good. Have you ever been to a show of theirs?”  
Lizzie gave the boy in her room an incredulous look, “You spent the whole night watching and listening to _Blink 182_?”  
  
“Among other things. I went on your Facebook too. You’ve got some goofy looking friends, I’ll tell you that. What’s this ‘poke’ thing? ‘Cause I poked about fifty people for you. You’re welcome.”  
  
“Frank,” Lizzie sighed with a groan and buried her face deep into her pillow again. It was too early.  
…………………………………………………………………...........................................................................................


	5. Chapter 5

Lizzie felt like a sweltering mess inside the car. It was only 10:00 AM but the sun was strong and its absence during the night hadn’t seemed to do anything to cool Jersey down. Even Olivia was sweating. Albeit with a smile on her face, but dripping with perspiration none the less.  
  
“Ugh,” Lizzie finally sounded her agitation. “It’s so hot my pants are getting soaked, mom!”  
  
“Well, maybe if you’d wear something other than jeans once in a while it wouldn’t be such an inconvenience,” Olivia answered coolly. “We’re almost there anyway, you’ll only have to suffer for about twenty more minutes.”  
  
“At least you acknowledge that we are in fact _suffering_ ,” Lizzie tilted her head back against the car seat, trying to savour the breeze that swiftly travelled through the rolled down window. To take her mind off the misery of the blistering summer heat Lizzie took it upon herself to spy on the most ridiculously dressed pedestrians they passed. And there wasn’t a short supply of weirdoes in Jersey to gawk at.  
  
One lady was walking around clad head to toe in red while a skateboarding middle aged man zipped around barefoot and in nothing but a speedo. They made the crew of _Jersey Shore_ look like scholars.  
  
“Where are we even going today, mom?” Isaac spoke up from the backseat. “I don’t want to see everything _again_.”  
  
“You haven’t seen this yet,” Olivia attempted to hide her smile. In the past few months it hadn’t been very easy to surprise her kids, but now was a moment she was ecstatic to share with them. A picture worthy moment to be framed and mounted on the wall.  
  
It was Lizzie to notice the cityscape they were quickly approaching first. “Really, mom?” she asked in genuine excitement. “We’re actually going? Today?”  
  
“And staying the night,” Olivia giggled happily. “I know you kids aren’t all that thrilled about the move but this is a really exciting time in our lives. Look where we are! New York is in our own backyard! Cheer up and look at the positive things in your lives for once.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Lizzie heaved a sigh, though admittance appeared to cause her internal pain. “Maybe you’re right… But it also means we have to visit New York five times a week.”  
  
“Good luck with that,” Olivia quirked an eyebrow. “You find the time and gas money.”  
  
Lizzie smiled out the window and glanced down at her vibrating cell phone. It was a friend of hers from back home just texting to say ‘hi’, but it got Lizzie’s mind pondering whether or not ghosts could make phone calls. 10:05 AM, what would Frank be doing right around now? How did he pass the time – days, weeks, months, _years_? Would he worry when they didn’t return home that night?  
  
The New York cityscape came closer into view and Lizzie felt her stomach flutter with excitement. One of the best art galleries in the world existed here; the Metropolitan Museum, not far from Central Park. The Empire State Building, F.A.O. Schwarz, trendy restaurants, talented buskers at every corner, the underground music scene- Lizzie glanced down at her phone again. Did Frank have any sense of time at all? He couldn’t possibly if he was that surprised to learn how many years had gone by.  
  
“Lizzie, look,” Isaac kicked at the back of his sister’s seat in order to grab her attention. “The Empire State Building, lunatic. Are you blind or what?”  
  
“Shut up,” she snapped back in a glare. “Mom, he’s kicking the back of my seat again!”  
  
“What do you want me to do about it?” Olivia spoke calmly, though in a sigh of boredom that expressed just how often the same issue arose on a daily basis.  
  
“ _Mother_!”  
  
“Isaac, stop kicking the back of Lizzie’s seat, she doesn’t like that.”  
  
“I’m just making sure she doesn’t miss out on a monumental moment in her life,” Isaac exclaimed in defense. “She’s the one always blabbing about how fantastic New York is! She’s here and now she’s missing it!”  
  
“I’m not missing it,” Lizzie argued and threw her arms out in front of her. “Right there, I see it! It’s kind of hard to miss, Ike!”  
  
“You kids are going to drive me nuts,” Olivia shook her head.  
  
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder and shared a grin with her younger brother. Tormenting each other was part of a sibling’s job, but every sibling knew the most fun came with dragging disgruntled parents into the deal. It kept things interesting.  
  
Answering another text message from her friend Lizzie opened a new note on the screen:  
  
_\- Frank ___________  
\- Daphne __________  
\- What happened?  
  
It was difficult to put aside the fact that at home waiting was a ghost, but Lizzie had to try her best. Questions and answers would come, but they’d have to wait until after her very first trip to New York. Besides, Frank wasn’t going anywhere. At least Lizzie didn’t think so.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“We can’t do everything in one day, Lizzie,” Olivia lectured once they had made themselves comfortable in the hotel room. It wasn’t the cleanest hotel in the world, but it was a palace compared to their new house. At least the plumbing wasn’t finicky and the ceiling wasn’t stained with water spots. The carpet was unfortunately just as grungy as home, and Lizzie questioned a couple stains on the comforter before deciding it was better to sleep on the bare mattress. In a couple swift motions she stripped the sheets right off the bed, not at all caring that her mother – whom was going to be sharing the bed – wasn’t pleased with her actions.  
  
“Lizzie,” Olivia sighed wearily, “for God’s sake. We’ll just ask someone at the front desk if they can send someone to change the sheets for us.”  
  
“So I’m just helping them out.”  
  
Olivia put her hands on her hips, deciding that arguing with Lizzie would be useless. Instead she looked to Isaac who was devoted to a game he had going on his PSP. “What is it you’d like to see today, Ike?”  
  
“Toy shop,” he muttered and then broke out into a slur of swears as his character was killed in the game.  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes this time around and glanced back to her daughter. “ _One_ big thing today, Lizzie. We’ll come visit again, but right now the most we’ll likely be able to get through today is the toy shop and one other thing. Your choice.”  
  
“One thing? One thing, mom?! How am I supposed to choose between the park, the museum and the Empire State Building? Or the Statue of Liberty!? This is so unfair!”  
  
Olive sat down at the edge of the bare bed and rubbed at her temples. Sometimes living with Lizzie was like living with her ex-husband. It was all arguments and headaches, but while she’d had enough with her husband and his cheating ways, she’d never in her life give up on her daughter. With another deep, calming breath she let Lizzie have her moment and then settle.  
  
“We’ll come back again, Elizabeth,” Olivia reassured. “We live just over an hour away. There are going to be many visits to New York, but this is just a quick taste of it. I just bought a house, I can’t afford splurging on a week’s stay here right now.”  
  
Lizzie scuffed her socked foot against the carpet and felt her face flush. She was being selfish and she knew it by the look on her mother’s face. “Yeah, ok, one thing.”  
  
Olivia’s expression lightened and she leaned forward to rest a hand against Lizzie’s arm affectionately. “What did you want to visit today, sweetheart?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was after midnight by the time Lizzie slipped the book of art she’d bough at the museum into her backpack and switched the lamp off. Olivia and Isaac had already been asleep for over an hour, but Lizzie was running on adrenaline from the day. First they’d gone to the famous toy store and while Lizzie agreed it was pretty neat, she hadn’t had her breath taken away. Not until she’d stepped foot into the Met. Now _that_ was breathtaking and Isaac had complained about how her nails were digging into his arm, that’s how excited she was.  
  
Olivia had made a point to photograph their day in great detail, from their ride on the crowded subway to the dinner they ate at a little Italian place they’d stumbled across on their walk back to the hotel. Eating at the restaurant reminded Lizzie of Frank again. Surely he had Italian blood in his veins. He looked it at least. Frank. Poor Frank, waiting in that stupid dark house, probably wondering why they hadn’t returned. She wanted to do something nice for him. At first she thought of bringing him home some Italian food, but then remembered ghost boy couldn’t or didn’t eat. Then it dawned on her, the perfect gift for her new music-loving friend and she’d dragged her mom and brother into a Best Buy, earning her several questions from them that she had to dance around in order to convince them she was sane.  
  
Curling up on her side Lizzie snuggled into her hoodie in order to keep warm. The staff at the hotel had since replaced the covers on the bed, but she didn’t trust them and instead chose to sleep on top of the covers while her mother slept contently under them. “I’m going to get typhus from this bed,” she whispered into the dark.  
  
“You mean syphilis, moron,” Isaac’s slurred voice startled her.  
  
“Go to sleep, loser,” she flipped him off regardless of the fact that she went unseen.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Come morning Olivia took them out for a quick breakfast at McDonald’s before heading home to Jersey. Lizzie sat in the backseat this time around, holding tightly to the bag from Best Buy in her left hand and using her right to flip through pages in her book. The beautiful paintings made her yearn for the slightest artistic talent. Alas even her stick people could use some improvement.  
  
The heat wasn’t quite as bad as it had been the previous day and Lizzie found it tolerable so long as she had her sunglasses. Olivia and Isaac were in the front seat making bets on whether or not the house would be an icebox again when they got there.  
  
“I managed to book someone to come in next week to install the AC,” Olivia informed, “maybe they can figure out the weird drops in temperature.”  
  
“The place is probably cursed,” Isaac replied with a yawn. “No one’s going to be able to explain that freakiness.”  
  
Lizzie smiled down at her book, because she knew exactly the reason why, and the movement of the curtain in the attic window let her know he was waiting.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It didn’t take Lizzie long to wander toward the stairs once she’d entered the house first. She thought it might be a bit cold, but on the contrary it was nearly as warm as it was outside, which really stirred up all the peculiar odors in the house and had Olivia reaching for the Febreze on the shelf.  
  
Isaac agreed to help tidy up the front yard a bit with their mom, which made Lizzie happy because it meant she didn’t have to whisper a conversation with her new friend upstairs.  
  
“Frank?” she called down the hallway. “Hey, where are you?”  
  
“Boo,” he sounded from behind her.  
  
Lizzie gave a start but smiled anyway when she turned to face him. “The house isn’t cold.”  
  
“Why would it be?” he quirked an eyebrow at her in curiosity before letting his gaze travel down to the bag in her hand. “What’s this?” he grinned and grabbed for the present. “Did you bring me something? You totally bought me something. What is it?”  
  
Backing out of his reach Lizzie frowned, “Hey quit being so rude. What makes you think this is for you anyway?”  
  
Frank paused and let his arms fall to his sides with an amused look plastered on his face. “What’s the matter? You look all-“ he mimicked the expression he was seeing and Lizzie couldn’t help but giggle.  
  
“I figured the house might be kind of cold is all.”  
  
“Oh, ‘cause of the whole happy ghost, sad ghost powers thing? Why’d you figure I’d be sad? You want me to be sad? You just don’t want to pay the AC bill, is that it?”  
  
“No! Never mind. Take your stupid present already. Maybe it’ll keep you preoccupied for a while and away from my laptop.”  
  
“Thought I’d miss you, huh?” he grinned and snatched the bag away. “I figured you’d be gone the night. I heard your mom on the phone yesterday reserving a hotel room. So you visited NYC. What’d you think? And what the hell is this?” Frank pulled the MP3 player out of the bag in confusion.  
  
Lizzie felt a little cross-eyed, he moved and talked so fast. “It was- Great. Yeah. I love New York! We didn’t get to see much, but mom said we’ll be going again pretty soon. We went to F.A.O. Schwarz and the Metropolitan Museum – What are you doing?”  
  
Frank, seemingly having lost interest in Lizzie’s story was fiddling with the packaging the MP3 player was in. Fed up with trying to rip it open with his hands he had resulted to gnawing at it with his teeth.  
  
“No, you need scissors,” Lizzie rolled her eyes and led the way into her bedroom. “You’ll mess up your teeth if you keep doing that. This kind of packaging is a pain in the ass.”  
  
“No shit, it seems bulletproof. So, didn’t go to the Empire State Building?”  
  
“Not yet, but it’s on my list. Have you- Well, did you go?”  
  
“Sure I did. Real classy view, you’ll like it when you get there. Plus, you know, _King Kong_ and all that.”  
  
“You actually like _King Kong_?”  
  
“Hey, anything with a fucking giant gorilla kidnapping chicks and climbing things has my attention, babe. Did your scissors work their magic yet?”  
  
“Got it,” Lizzie handed the open package back to him. “It’s an MP3 player, five steps up from a Walkman and one step down from an iPod.”  
  
“So, what, does it play music or teleport me to and from space? Be clearer, Lizzie.”  
  
“Music,” she laughed in return. “It plays music! So now what I can do is hook it up to my computer and you can put whatever kind of music you want on there until it’s filled up. Then you get to listen to your music as much as you want and I get my laptop back.”  
  
“I like that,” Frank smiled and then held the earbuds up in distaste. “Are these noodles supposed to be headphones? What kind of bullshit headphones are these? They look like flaccid little alien cocks. I’m not putting these in my ears.”  
  
“I just bought you a present, don’t you think you should say something?” Lizzie crossed her arms stubbornly. “Are all ghost boys ungrateful jerks?”  
  
“Only the cool ones,” he muttered and reluctantly put one of the earbuds into his ear. “Ew, nope. Not happening. Whatever, your brother has those rad headphones, I’ll swipe ‘em.”  
  
“He’s going to blame me you know,” Lizzie eyed her supposed friend incredulously. Dead or not he was being extremely rude. Or so she thought until Frank gave a giggle and bounced right up to her.  
  
“Oh, and Liz? Thanks!” he pulled her into a tight hug.  
  
Lizzie staggered back lightly over the impact but hugged her ghostly friend back and smiled over his shoulder until he let go and abandoned the earbuds on her bed.  
  
“I want you to put new stuff on this MP3PO.”  
  
“Just MP3, Frank.”  
  
“It was a joke, Daph-“ Frank paused in horror and stared down at the MP3 in his hand as a distraction. “Liz. Lizzie. Just a joke.”  
  
“What happened, Frank?” Lizzie took a couple steps closer to him. “I mean, Daphne seems to have meant a lot to you. What happened? How did this happen to you?” she held her arms out as if to present him. “How’d you become a ghost?”  
  
Frank backed away from her as if she were the plague. Instead of answering he held the MP3 player out to her with a pleading look. No words were said, but Lizzie could tell he didn’t want the subject to continue any further, so like a good friend would she didn’t press for a response. Instead she gave him a weak smile and took the new toy from him.  
  
“What kind of new stuff do you want?”  
  
“Your tunes,” his voice was shaky but he returned the gentle smile regardless and fetched the laptop from the dresser. “Anything you think I might like from your collection.”  
  
“You strike me as the kind of person who’d be really into boy bands,” Lizzie teased and pulled the cable from the packaging to hook the MP3 to her computer. “All your tattoos and piercings. You’d totally be into _Backstreet Boys_.”  
  
“ _Backstreet Boys_ ,” Frank pulled a disgusted face. “What the fuck name is that for a group? What does it imply? They sound like little muggers who’ll hold granny at gunpoint just to swipe whatever lint-covered hard candy she has at the bottom of her purse.”  
  
“Where do you come up with your stupid analogies?” Lizzie snorted in laughter and pointed out how to drag files into the folder for his new MP3 player.  
  
“Not from my ass like your precious boy bands seem to. I was around for _New Kids on the Block_ don’t forget. How long can you be new for? Or _Boys II Men_? That sounds like some shitty educational film about puberty that teachers force you to watch in school.”  
  
Lizzie smiled over his explanation, but at the same time she knew finding out anything about Frank and his past was going to be difficult beyond the trivial information. She could find out all his favourite things; his favourite music, cereal, movies, etcetera., but she had the feeling anything regarding Daphne was a barricade in her path. She wasn’t even certain he’d tell her his last name anymore, and that would be a real problem in her quest to finding out why he was there.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	6. Chapter 6

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"He's a Rocker" - The Vines_
  * _"1983" - Neon Trees_



_.............................................................................................. _

 

As Frank said he would he swiped Isaac’s headphones from his bedroom while he and Olivia were still up front yanking weeds. Lizzie filled the MP3 player with any and all the music in her own collection she thought Frank might like. As a result the ghostly teen was contently sitting on the floor by her bed skipping through songs to find ones that grabbed his attention.  
  
Watching Frank discover new music he liked was almost more interesting to Lizzie than searching the web and wasting time on Facebook. When he came across a tune that suited him he’d make a pleased little noise, either unaware he was doing so or just unconcerned. Then he spent the next three minutes either humming, drumming or air-guitaring along until it came to an end and he’d announce a bit too loudly to Lizzie which song he just gave his stamp of approval to. Then he demanded she pull up some information on the artist for him to research later. Frank may not be attending college, but he himself was working on his own degree as a music guru.  
  
Frank ended up using two full batteries before deciding that was enough for the day and took to bothering Lizzie again as she tried to message her friends. “Who’s this guy?” Frank pointed at a name on the screen. “He comes up a lot on your shrine.”  
  
“ _Wall_. It’s called a _wall_.”  
  
“Yeah, well he’s there a lot. And he says weird things, like ‘LOL’. What is that? Like right here in this comment,” he made her pause her self-conscious. It made her nervous to think of all the comments and private messages Frank could very well have gone through the first night he had her computer. “He said: _‘You suck, LOL’_ and then a little stroke face.”  
  
“That’s a winky face, Frank, oh my God!”  
  
“That’s just inappropriate, Lizzie. _Winky_ face. Is ‘LOL’ short for lollipop then? Is he implying fellatio in this? He wants you to suck lollipop – winky face.”  
  
Lizzie had never actually facepalmed before, but it felt like the perfect moment and so buried her face into her left hand with a frustrated sigh. “’LOL’ is just chat speak. It means ‘laugh out loud’.”  
  
“Wow, that’s stupid. Kids today are seriously that lazy? If you’re going to use all these abbreviations at least make sure they’re obscene.”  
  
Lizzie chose to ignore his comments and began scrolling back up to the top of the page where the same guy they’d just been discussing came up in her notifications. She quickly tried to exit out of the notification before Frank could process the information, but unluckily for her Frank was a very clever and quick guy.  
  
“This Randy guy sure likes throwing you the winky face, Liz. What’s he saying now?”  
  
 _'Well if you do find Dracula, let me know and I’ll go all vampire killer on his ass' ;)_  
  
Frank read aloud and paused for a second before he burst into laughter. “Oh my God, Lizzie, the guy totally has the hots for you. Is he your boyfriend?”  
  
Lizzie blushed red and pulled her laptop away abruptly. Randy was a good friend from back home, and yeah, she may have had a crush on him at some point, but that didn’t give Frank any right to be laughing at her. “No, he’s not.”  
  
“Well it sounds like he wants to be your boyfriend. Does he live here in Jersey? You should give this dweeb a shot. Mr. Winky-face seems innocent enough.”  
  
“No he doesn’t and I’m not interested in him like that,” Lizzie dismissed hotly.  
  
“So what are you interested in? Capital ‘P’ faces, Capital ‘D’ faces or slash faces?”  
  
“None of them, ok? Would you quit it?”  
  
“Asexual, huh? Hey, that’s cool. I may or may not have kissed a couple guys in my past and sort of didn’t hate it, so I’m probably not the straightest guy around myself.”  
  
Lizzie stared at Frank in surprise and blinked slowly. “I didn’t mean it like that either. I do like guys, I just don’t go basing my like for them around their preferred emotion on the internet. I have the feeling you’d throw the little spazzy face around everywhere though. I guess those are the capital ‘P’ faces to you.”  
  
Frank grinned at this and nudged her arm, “And you strike me as being a very capital ‘D’ face. Which if I’m guessing right has to be the big smiling face, yeah?”  
  
Lizzie blushed again, but not from embarrassment. A bit flustered and all too aware of how close her face was to his she shut her laptop and moved to place it back on her dresser. “I should probably get downstairs. Dinner should be ready soon.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie walked down the stairs slowly, letting her hand glide down the banister all the way. There wasn’t any more dust coating it like there was the first day they had arrived at the house. In fact it felt like there was very little dust anywhere anymore. Lizzie weakly smiled at the sun peeking through the curtains hanging in the front window and took in a breath of air which smelled more like barbeque and freshly cut grass than dust and age.  
  
“There you are,” Olivia greeted her at the bottom of the stairs. “I was just about to come and get you. You’ve been up in your room for hours, what have you been doing?”  
  
“Just catching up with some friends from back home and organizing my room a bit. It doesn’t smell like decay in here so much anymore.”  
  
Olivia smiled and straightened a framed picture on the wall; a Christmas portrait of Lizzie and Isaac together when they were small. Dressed in ridiculous jumpers all red and green Lizzie’s smile looked awkward and Isaac looked confused. Yet it remained one of Olivia’s favourite pictures. _‘It’s so the two of you’_ she’d always tell them. “Your brother and I opened all the windows down here to let some air in.”  
  
“Well…it’s better.”  
  
“Good. You’re in high spirits, maybe I should get you to help me tidy up the basement for a while after dinner. Give you brother a break. That boy sure is going to sleep well tonight.”  
  
“The basement?” Lizzie pulled a startled expression. In all the mystery and supernatural Lizzie had encountered in the mere few days they’d been living in the house she had forgotten completely that there even was a downstairs to the house, never mind thinking about what could possibly be down there to find. Considering she had made friends with a ghost she wouldn’t be overly surprised if the basement was filled with a disco dancing mummy and an intelligent zombie.  
  
“Mhm,” Olivia answered and led the way into the kitchen. “There are some boxes down there to go through still. This place sure is full of lots of little surprises.”  
  
Lizzie gave an uneasy laugh and eyed the door in the kitchen that led to the basement. It wasn’t a large or stunning door, just simple off-white with a brass doorknob. If Lizzie didn’t know any better she’d think the door was to a pantry and not a set of stairs. “Lots of surprise, yeah.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
After dinner Lizzie weaseled her way out of a basement scavenger hunt by insisting Olivia looked like she could use a break and a bit of pampering. After nudging Isaac in the ribs to agree with her Olivia made Lizzie swear to help clean up tomorrow afternoon and disappeared into the washroom for a nice long bubble bath. Isaac mumbled something about feeling like the walking dead and shuffled his way into his bedroom while Lizzie walked to her own.  
  
Barely even before she could get her bedroom door open Frank was asking her a question about chat rooms on the internet and Lizzie quickly shut the door, warning him to keep his voice down. “They’ll hear you! Everyone is upstairs, we have to whisper.”  
  
“Shit, yeah, sorry, I forgot.” Frank continued voicing his complaints about needing to have an email for all the websites he wanted to participate on in a much softer tone, though it didn’t last long until he was back to his usual speaking volume. Lizzie rolled her eyes and hoped her mother was in a partial coma in her haven of bubbles. Isaac shouldn’t be a problem considering he looked like a sleepwalker only a couple moments earlier.  
  
“You need to submit an email so that if you forget your username or password they can send it to you,” Lizzie yawned and plunked back down on her bed with her art book in hand to skim through for the dozenth time.  
  
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I know that. It’s just stupid is all. Kay and-“  
  
“Frank, seriously?”  
  
“Last internet question I swear!”  
  
“Ok, fine, shoot.”  
  
“…For today. What is ‘asl’ in the chat room?”  
  
Lizzie raised her eyebrows in surprise, “Are you talking to someone?”  
  
“I’ve been talking to several someones over the past hour. Now what does ‘asl’ mean, quick! She just asked me!”  
  
“Age, sex, location. Like how old you are, are you a male or female and where do you live.”  
  
Frank furrowed his eyebrows at the screen as he repeated what Lizzie informed him and began to type slowly but surely. “Age…nineteen. Sex…yes, please. Location…your pants or mine?”  
  
“Frank! You didn’t seriously put that did you? Chat rooms are, like, the least reliable places ever! You could be talking to some middle-aged greasy fat guy!”  
  
“Nah, she already flashed me her tits on the camera.”  
  
“You’re using my computer to look up porn?!”  
  
“I’m not looking up porn, the porn is coming to me. I’m just here to chat. Not my fault all these chicks are throwing their boobs at me.”  
  
“What chat room are you in?” Lizzie stared wide-eyed and slightly horrified. She intended the MP3 to be a distraction from the computer and internet for Frank, but evidently it wasn’t distracting enough.  
  
“I don’t know, ‘cougar’ something.”  
  
“Frank, those are a whole bunch of middle-aged women flashing you.”  
  
“Tits are tits,” he shrugged. “I’m not all that picky after twenty-three years. I think my grandma found my stash of magazines and got rid of them. Not very Christian or something, I don’t know. All I know is that I had a fantastic collection under my mattress one day and then I didn’t the next.”  
  
“…Ew,” Lizzie pulled a face in disgust and yanked the plug right out of the wall. The laptop zapped off and left a pretty angry ghost staring at the blank screen in disbelief.  
  
“Did you just end my conversation with _MrsMystic_ and _Boobalicious_? I was enjoying the conversation, Lizzie. You better have something exciting to talk about.”  
  
Lizzie frowned, placing her laptop back on the dresser and smoothing the sheets on her bed. Suddenly she felt very tired and let a yawn escape. In that time she noticed Frank pick up his MP3 to place into his pocket. He moved to sit on her bed but like before she didn’t feel it sink under his weight. He crawled up to lie beside her and was careful their arms didn’t touch, aware of how cold he felt to her. “What’s the matter?”  
  
Lizzie furrowed her eyebrows up at the ceiling. What would make him think anything was wrong? “Nothing,” she answered and puckered her lips in thought before turning to lie on her stomach. “My mom wants us to clean out the basement tomorrow. What’s down there?”  
  
“Dunno,” he shrugged. “Boxes. More boxes of junk I guess. You tell me when you get your clean on down there tomorrow. And if you find my mattress stash of boobs return ‘em ASAP…winky face.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
In the morning Lizzie was surprised over Frank’s absence. She knew he had to be lurking around somewhere, but where was the unknown. Breakfast consisted of waffles and freshly cut fruit. It was heavenly along with a nice big ‘ol cup of coffee.  
  
“Basement today, Lizzie,” Olivia reminded over breakfast. “Isaac’s going out with a new friend this afternoon so that will give you and I the chance to bond over dust.”  
  
“Wow, exciting,” she answered grimly. “Where the hell did Isaac already make a friend? It’s not like school has started yet.”  
  
“This guy named Trent who lives across the street from us,” Isaac explained. “He came over while mom and I were cleaning up the front yard. He goes to the high school we’ll be attending and said he’d show me some of the best hangouts around the area today.”  
  
“Awe, Ike’s got a play date,” Lizzie cooed teasingly. “Gonna go for some ice cream and play ninja warriors?”  
  
Isaac waited until Olivia wasn’t looking to flip Lizzie off and turned his attention back to the comic he was reading. “Whatever, loser, at least I have someone to socialize with that isn’t invisible.”  
  
Lizzie felt the air in her lungs drain and her hands shake. She made sure to whisper when she talked to Frank, and to her knowledge Isaac had no idea about the ghost in their house.  
  
“What was your invisible friend’s name again?” Isaac smirked. “Piper?”  
  
Lizzie sighed and shook her head. Isaac had no idea. “Peter.”  
  
“Right. Peter the piper from that rhyme.”  
  
“Oh yes,” Olivia reminisced fondly. “I remember Peter Piper. You’d babble on and on about him when you were little. I had to serve him an extra spot at the table and you’d buckle him up in the car when we went for a drive.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I was cute, let’s move on,” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Might as well get started on the basement already. Where’s the gloves and bug spray? Flammables and a match are welcomed as well.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Already feeling uneasy about going into the basement it didn’t help ease her mind when Lizzie tried to flick on the light only to discover it didn’t work. Olivia didn’t allow that to be an excuse, explaining there’d be enough light downstairs through the window to see anyway. “I have to drop your brother and Trent off at the mall first. I’ll pick up some light bulbs on the way back.”  
  
The wooden stairs were old and creaky, which suited the rest of the house but made Lizzie feel as if she was about to fall right through them. The air was damp and something smelled moldy. The walls were smoothed concrete just like the floor, making it seem more along the lines of jail cell than cellar. It felt chilly, which would have been really nice if it wasn’t so sketchy.  
  
Reaching the bottom of the stairs Lizzie surveyed the cleanup challenge. There were several boxes stacked up against the outside wall and a couple more stored by the furnace. Without light Lizzie could still make out most everything, except for the farthest corner, which sort of gave her the creeps. She shrugged off the feeling and pulled one of the boxes down to open. Inside was what she had been hoping to find the time she and Isaac had searched the attic; some photographs. There weren’t very many of them but at least it was a start. The first she picked up was a picture with Frank and several others she assumed were friends because they certainly didn’t look like they’d be his relatives. They were young and punk, but their genes were of someone else’s. She recognized the girl whose arms were wrapped around him as Daphne and turned the photograph over to find no further information. Flicking it back into the box she examined a few other pictures of people she guessed were probably members of Frank’s family; aunts, uncles, maybe his parents and maybe a few cousins. At some point she’d have to ask him about it.  
  
She placed the photographs carefully into a bag and left it by the bottom of the stairs to begin a ‘keep’ pile.  
  
The remaining items in the box weren’t anything of value to Lizzie; small trinkets and a jewellery box with some of the most tacky earrings she’d ever set her eyes upon. Plastic and brightly coloured, including one set of ghastly bright red parrots.  
  
Moving the box aside she inhaled a cloud of dust and sneezed. “So gross!”  
  
“Oh it’s just dust, stop complaining,” Olivia chuckled as she came down the stairs with an empty laundry basket. “Keep any treasures you find down here in this basket. I’m taking Isaac and Trent to the mall now and I’ll pick up those light bulbs on the way back so we’re not wandering in the dark. Is there anything else you need from anywhere?”  
  
“No, I’m fine. Just inhaling what could be asbestos.”  
  
“My drama queen daughter,” Olivia sighed in her knowing way, “what would I do without your lovely sarcastic remarks?”  
  
“You’d be bored,” Lizzie mumbled and dug into the next box. “Leave the door open upstairs, ok, mom?”  
  
“Absolutely,” Olivia came over to hand off the laundry basket and smooth her daughter’s hair affectionately. “I’ll see you in a bit and we’ll defeat this mess together. If it gets too stuffy down here take a break and step outside.”  
  
Lizzie nodded without another word and pulled some sheets out of the box. They smelled stale and used, leaving Lizzie feeling uncomfortable. Without another thought she tossed them into the ‘throwaway’ pile and heard the front door upstairs open and shut. She didn’t think she’d feel nervous about being in the basement, but with the absence of her mom and brother in the house the basement felt like a pit of despair. Suddenly the shadows on the walls felt as if they were shifting – creeping inches closer by the second. There was an odd rattling sound in the corner and it felt as if the temperature was warming up until she was breaking out into a sweat. Nothing about the basement was welcoming. It held something haunting to it and Lizzie’s mind quickly jumped to Frank.  
  
Lizzie braved another ten minutes before making up her mind that a break was needed. Or maybe a crossbow for protection. She turned to head toward the stairs when suddenly she heard the door slam shut and felt her heart jump into her throat. A quick glance around the corner confirmed the basement door was closed, but that much was obvious by the sudden lack of light. She darted her eyes around the room and the shadow on the wall most definitely moved, she was sure of it. Faster than she’d ever moved in her life she was standing at the top of the rickety stairs and twisting at the brass doorknob. It didn’t budge.  
  
Deep down Lizzie knew full well nothing was downstairs. Nothing was coming to attack her, but the mind could be a powerful thing and all she felt in the moment was panic. She frantically twisted at the doorknob again, struggling with it and kicking at the door as if it’d help.  
  
Downstairs she remembered seeing a toolbox and made her way back down to investigate for something to help, her breath coming in short gasps. At the bottom of the stairs she heard another crash and collapsed down to the floor with her arms over her head. “Frank,” she called shakily. “Frank! Frank!”  
  
Lizzie nearly jumped out of her skin when arms wrapped around her. A scream erupted from her mouth before another familiar voice hushed her.  
  
“Hey, hey, Lizzie, what’s the matter? Holy shit you freaked me out. Are you ok?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie cried and squirmed out of her ghostly pal’s snug embrace. “No I’m not fucking fine! What is wrong with this house?! How did you get down here?!”  
  
Frank held his hands up dramatically and wiggled his fingers. “Ghost. Remember? Walls and doors can’t stop me. Why are you freaking out?”  
  
“The door shut, I don’t know,” she waved her hands around in hysterics. “What the fuck! Who closed the door?! And it’s locked now! And there was a crash somewhere down here! This basement is creepy!”  
  
Frank looked to be holding back laughter as he watched Lizzie freak out. “Liz, jeez, I’ve never seen this side of you before. You’re all over the goddamn place. Where did the crash come from?”  
  
“I don’t know, over there somewhere,” Lizzie answered bitterly and fixed her hair, aware of how strands of it were sticking to her forehead. “Sweatbox down here.”  
  
“Want a ghost hug to cool you down?” he winked and moved in the direction Lizzie had located the loud noise. Automatically he realized what had happened and picked up the box that had toppled from the stack it was set upon previously. “This your big monster, Liz? A brown box of muumuus?”  
  
Lizzie groaned and rubbed her hand over her face. “Well the door still slammed shut and locked.”  
  
Frank quirked an eyebrow and walked up the stairs to examine the door. “Ever hear of a draft?” A quick twist to the left and right and the door creaked open. “It’s a tricky door, Lizzie. Not locked, just stubborn. Come here, I’ll show you what to do if it happens again.”  
  
Lizzie sat on the bottom stair, unwilling or incapable of moving in the moment. An overwhelming sadness came over her as she thought of Frank living in the house alone. Did he ever come down into the basement? What kind of sounds did he hear and exaggerate in his head at night when it was dark? “You must have been scared,” she found herself whispering as her eyes lingered on the dusty concrete floor.  
  
Frank came back down the stairs and sat next to her. “Scared of what?”  
  
Lizzie motioned around the basement. “Dying.”  
  
Frank followed her gaze around the walls and cracked a smile. “Are you implying that I died in this basement?”  
  
Lizzie felt her face flush in embarrassment, not expecting him to pick up on where her crazy imagination was guiding her. “No,” she muttered, trying to salvage her dignity.  
  
“You so were,” he laughed. “You thought I died in a basement. Oh my God that’s so typical. Dying in a drab basement – haunt the house and all. Don’t go in the basement, that’s where his body is hidden in the walls, all cut up in itty bitty pieces. That odd stain on the floor? Blood! Aaaahhhhh!”  
  
“Shut up,” Lizzie lightly shoved his arm with a small laugh. “Kay, so you didn’t die in the basement. Where _did_ you in the house?”  
  
“Why do you assume I died in the house?” he questioned and got up to examine the box he had only just begun to go through. A grin took over his expression as he picked up one of the brightly coloured muumuus. “Whoa, see, now this is some sexy lingerie,” he held it up on himself.  
  
“You didn’t die in the house?” Lizzie disregarded the comments on the dress, which seemed to let him down slightly. He tossed it back into the box, unsettling some more dust that drifted around him but didn’t disrupt or bother him like it had Lizzie.  
  
“No,” he breathed and shrugged. “I didn’t. So you don’t have to have any sleepless nights wondering if my corpse is hidden under the floorboards.”  
  
The comments were meant to be comforting but it did very little for Lizzie who stared at Frank in disbelief. “You’re making jokes? Seriously? It’s not funny! Maybe you did die in here and you don’t remember. How did you end up trapped in this house if you didn’t drop dead here?”  
  
“Wow, thanks for all the sympathy,” Frank gave a sarcastic laugh. “ _’Drop dead’_ , yeah, that has such a pleasant ring to it. I didn’t die in this house.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes on him, debating whether or not he was speaking the truth or just trying to ease her mind. A shiver ran up her spine as she danced her gaze around the room again. She heard the echo of Frank’s screams in her ears as he was murdered – thrown against the walls, strangled, stabbed or shot. What if they _had_ chopped him up into itty bitty pierces? What if his skeletal remains _were_ buried under the floorboards of her room, all alone, forgotten and smothered in dust?  
  
Her gruesome thoughts were interrupted by a low whistle and a waving hand in front of her face. “I _didn’t die_ in the house,” he emphasized. “Quit that.”  
  
“Quit what?” Lizzie gave him attitude, though Frank wasn’t having any of it as he leaned over her to talk in her face. Frank didn’t exactly breathe. At least he didn’t _have_ to breathe. Everything he did was more like routine or habit, and breathing was something he seemed to force his paranormal body to do. His breath felt like a winter’s chill; Frank himself smelled like winter and felt like ice when she touched him. Soft but icy and it burned her skin if she held on too long.  
  
“Thinking about me getting murdered down here,” he spoke her thoughts.  
  
“That’s not what I’m thinking about,” she folded her arms stubbornly and caused an amused grin to break out across the ghost’s face.  
  
“Oh really? That’s why you look like this,” he mimicked her current expression. “All wide-eyed and pensive. Trust me, Lizzie, I didn’t die in this house. I don’t know why I ended up back here, but this is not where I died. Nothing to be freaked out over down here… Save for the hideous muumuus.”  
  
Lizzie gave a brief laugh, “ Please tell me they aren’t yours.”  
  
“Why? Not my colour?” He grinned cheekily, obviously happy to have lightened the mood. “They were my grandma’s. She had impeccable taste and an even snarkier sense of humour than my own.”  
  
“Did your grandma live here with you? “ Lizzie jumped the gun, because as soon as she began to ask questions Frank switched subjects. It infuriated Lizzie, but there wasn’t much else she could do about it.  
  
“Hey, you found it,” Frank exclaimed happily instead and picked up the photograph Lizzie had found earlier. She found it odd that the only photograph he seemed drawn to wasn’t one of his relatives. “Oh man, it’s, like, in mint condition,” he practically awed over the picture, smoothing out the one folded corner and smiling over the captured moment.  
  
“Are these your friends?” Lizzie moved to stand at his side.  
  
“Yeah! Shit, we were like glue, you know? Look, here’s Gerard and his girlfriend – my best friend – Gloria. Glore and I grew up together. We were friends since kindergarten. Then this is Gerard’s dorky younger brother Mikey. He was the absolute worst at picking up girls, oh man. You’d laugh your ass off if you heard the messed up pickup lines he’d come up with, Liz. He would have totally hit on you. And beside him is Bob and Ray. Ray was smart as fuck and Bob could kick the Hulk’s ass.” Frank pointed out each friend individually to Lizzie with such love in his tone – as if each of them owned a part of his soul. He sounded thrilled, reminiscent and sad all at once and Lizzie cocked her head to the side as she listened.  
  
“And that’s Daphne,” Lizzie pointed out when he paused at his girlfriend and seemed hesitant to continue. “You look cute together. How long were you going out for?”  
  
“Over a year,” he dismissed and flicked the photograph lightly with his thumb and middle finger. “You’re alright now?”  
  
“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Lizzie shrugged. “My mom’s going to be coming back to help clean up some more. Is there anything down here I should be on the lookout for to keep for you?”  
  
Frank looked down at his photograph and shook his head after a moment of silence. “Nah – no. This is probably all there is. Except – no, never mind. Nothing else. Throw the rest away. Or donate it or whatever. Boy George could probably use a few muumuus in his wardrobe.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Oh, right, the age thing. Uh, Lady Gaga.”  
  
Lizzie broke out into a fit of giggles because just yesterday Frank had spent a solid hour making confused, frustrated and awed faces at the computer screen over pictures of Lady Gaga. He just didn’t get it, but Lizzie assured him that half the world didn’t either.  
  
Frank nudged Lizzie and then made his way toward the stairs. As he did Lizzie felt her heart rate speed up. She knew there was nothing to be afraid of but even so, something about being alone in the dark and filthy basement alone made her skin crawl.  
  
“Frank, can you maybe just stick around down here?”  
  
“Scared of the dark, princess?” he teased lightly and sat down on the bottom step. “Sure. Not like I have anything important to get back to, huh?”  
  
“You’re seriously just going to sit there and watch? A little help would be nice you know.”  
  
Frank raised an eyebrow and pointed at a box near the top of a stack. “Ok, I’ll help. Start from the top and work your way down, or else you’ll have an avalanche of boxes on your head.”  
  
Lizzie scoffed and cursed loudly when she inhaled some more dust, quickly followed by a sneeze.  
  
Frank giggled and let his mouth relax into a weak smile as he spent the next while simply looking at the photograph of his friends. It was evident his mind was swimming in sacred memories, but Lizzie knew they weren’t any she’d be able to tap into anytime soon. She’d have to find another strategy in tracking down information on Frank, but for now she was waist-deep in nostalgia.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
When Olivia returned home Frank quickly disappeared, leaving the photograph on the bottom step. Lizzie picked it up and stored it back into the bag for safe keeping. “Hi, mom. Please tell me you brought light with you.”  
  
“I did,” Olivia chimed as she came down the stairs carefully. “It is pretty dingy down here isn’t it?”  
  
Like it was her life’s purpose Olivia quickly had the light bulb replaced and clicked it on. The basement was flooded with a soft glow and Lizzie examined the drab walls over with the added light. It wasn’t half as bad now that she was able to see everything. In fact, if they added a bit of paint, a nice rug and a bit of furniture it could prove to be a nice hangout room. There were no odd stains and creepy shadows on the wall and Lizzie felt her face flush in embarrassment over how she’d acted in front of Frank earlier. He probably thought she was a real loser by now.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	7. Chapter 7

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"When You Were Young" - The Killers_
  * _"You Want It" - Cheap Trick_



....................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie didn’t press on the cause of Frank’s demise. Instead she spent the remainder of summer getting to know him for his present, or more accurately, _past_ self, settling into her new surroundings and attempting to psyche herself up just the tiniest bit for school. It seemed that Isaac was already all set to begin at their new school – having met an entire group of friends thanks to their neighbour Trent. A couple times Isaac had asked if she’d like to tag along but Lizzie refused in partial embarrassment. At home she’d never be the tagalong. At home it may have been the reverse, with her asking if maybe Isaac wanted to come along to see a movie. There was no way she wanted to be seen with a bunch of grade 9 noobs in public.  
  
“So Ike’s out again with the nerd squad, huh?” Frank leaned coolly against the doorframe with his arms folded. He gave an amused smile, but it held a certain sympathy to it as well. A smile that did nothing to ease Lizzie’s feeling of being rock bottom. “You know, there’s this hangout a few blocks down. At least there used be… A bunch of high school kids used to go there after school and during the summer. It’s a park… I’m making it sound like a hideout,” he laughed. “Just a park, but I know a ton of high school kids used to hang out there. You could totally just show up and pretend to tan or something. Maybe you’ll meet someone.”  
  
“What are you implying by telling me about said hangout?” Lizzie narrowed her eyes accusingly. “You think I’m a real loser, don’t you? You want me to get out of the house.”  
  
“Would I really want to kick the only person who’s acknowledged me in twenty plus years out? You look bored as fuck hanging out around here day in and day out. Even your mom’s out at some gardening club or whatever.”  
  
“She’s at work, Frank. She works in an office.”  
  
“You wouldn’t think that, the way she spends all her waking hours in the garden with the petunias.”  
  
“Is there a crime against being a flower-enthusiast?”  
  
“This isn’t about your mom,” Frank dismissed the veering subject and moved across the room to sit at the window with her. “I mean look at you! Lizzie, you’re staring out the window waiting for something to happen when the only way something is going to happen is if you _make_ it happen. Take advantage of living, you’re not in my shoes yet, and I hope you never are. I’m stuck here, but you’re not, so go out and breathe fresh air, huh? The park,” he smiled and tapped on the glass of the window, “three blocks to the left and straight on till sunburn. Go.”  
  
Lizzie sighed miserably and leaned forward to hug Frank tightly. “I wish you could come,” she mumbled into his shoulder.  
  
“Yeah, me too,” he agreed softly and pat her back, “Go find my 21st century doppelganger and scrutinize his music taste. If he doesn’t at least have _Misfits_ whip him into shape.”  
  
In the month and a half Lizzie had known Frank she’d come to a few conclusions to sum him up in her mindset. Frank was stubborn when it came to sharing much about his past life. Anything regarding pop culture, style or pranks with his friends was welcomed, but if the questions grazed too close to Daphne he changed the subject. Daphne was a touchy and emotional topic for Frank and Lizzie hadn’t the faintest idea why.  
  
Frank could be charming and had gentleman tendencies when he wanted to; opening doors for her when no one else was around, or cheering her up with sweet comments when he thought she was sad. Frank was touchy feely and pounced for hugs or hand holding when she offered it openly. Often times she found herself waking in the middle of the night freezing only to realize it was because Frank was lying next to her on the bed, awake and content. Each and every time he’d jump up in alarm and apologize profusely before piling about three blankets and five hoodies on top of her. It was as if he forgot in those moments and just needed to be around someone else. It made Lizzie’s heart clench to think about too much and so she never lectured him for it or asked him to discontinue the habit.  
  
More than anything else though, Lizzie knew Frank loved to joke around and even in death didn’t take life too seriously. He made the best out of any situation thrown his way and instead of dwelling over the fact that he couldn’t do something, tried to come up with an alternative. One evening Frank and Lizzie had been discussing concerts they’d attended and Frank and sighed miserably that he missed going to shows. Lizzie braced herself for a winter blizzard in her own bedroom, but instead Frank perked up and asked if she owned any concert DVDs. The two then spent the whole evening jokingly moshing, laughing and sharing concert tales as Lizzie played the DVDs on her computer and asked Isaac to hook some speakers in so she could turn the volume up louder.  
  
Everything had to be done secretively in order to keep both herself and Frank safe from any prying ears or eyes. Time was best spent when Olivia and Isaac were out of the house, and thankfully that had become routine, because Olivia had work and Isaac was often out with his new friends.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie had to dig through her drawers in search of her bathing suit that hadn’t been worn since last summer when she’d gone to the beach with a group of her friends. She found the yellow bikini amongst all her winter garments, go figure, and wore it under a pair of jean shorts and baggy white t-shirt. Hair pulled back into a high ponytail, flip-flops on her feet and sunglasses over her eyes Lizzie was all set for the weather.  
  
“Frank, I’m going,” she paused at the front door to call over her shoulder. “…Just so you know.”  
  
“What am I, your mother?” he called from the kitchen. “Get out of here.”  
  
“It’s just manners,” she scoffed and pulled her bag further up on her shoulder. “I feel like I’m forgetting something…”  
  
Before Lizzie could process what that might be she heard the fridge door open and close and watched as a bottle of water was tossed from midair her way. “Thanks, Frank.”  
  
“And call if you’re going to be late for dinner,” her ghost friend called after her just before she could close the front door.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The neighbourhood wasn’t that bad, Lizzie had discovered in the past few weeks. Sure there were some strange characters on her street, but all were harmless and most of them too old to be causing any real trouble. The most disturbing character she’d come across as of late was Mr. Frothman who insisted on mowing the lawn at roughly 11:00 AM in nothing but a speedo.  
  
Summer was coming to an end, but the weather was still hot and Lizzie squinted up at the sun through her sunglasses before adjusting the volume on her iPod. Isaac had since noticed the absence of his headphones and as she predicted had been quick to blame her for swiping them. As a result she endured a day of the silent treatment, complete with death glares until his dramatic side subsided and Olivia had come home with a new pair for him.  
  
Frank still had Isaac’s pair. They were hidden upstairs in the attic and he often spent the nights listening to music while Lizzie was asleep.  
  
Lizzie had her doubts about there being a hangout at the park, but tradition was strong and there spread out across the field were groups of teenagers, tanning, eating, smoking, blaring music and playing sports. Lizzie chose a spot away from any kind of commotion to lay out the towel she’d brought with her from home. Most everyone else was with at least one other person and Olivia would have a panic attack if she knew Lizzie had went to the park on her own. Being new in Jersey Olivia was adamant about the buddy system for her kids.  
  
After removing her baggy t-shirt Lizzie took a seat on the towel and surveyed the scene more carefully. It was pretty obvious to predict why certain groups of people were present. Right in the middle of all the action was a group of girls who had spent a few too many hours in the sun. Their skin was dark and would surely be leathery looking by the time they hit 30. Baby oil and sun wasn’t the safest combination in the world and all it reminded Lizzie of was basting a turkey. As focused as the group was on tanning, they were ten times more focused on the group of shirtless boys playing a game of football.  
  
There was a group of giggly friends under the shade of the trees enjoying a picnic, which Lizzie thought was a decent idea. It wasn’t until they pulled out an acoustic guitar for a sing along of country songs that Lizzie nearly gagged.  
  
There were groups of guys by their cars parked on the street, their pants halfway down their asses and fake gold chains reflecting in the sun against their shirts. The speakers were booming with the latest rap music and again Lizzie wrinkled her nose in distaste.  
  
Giving up on finding a decent group of people to attempt a conversation with Lizzie lay stomach down on the towel and put her earbuds back in to drown out the giggling country group and gum chewing turkeys. Unlike most days Lizzie was enjoying the warmth of the sun on her back and sighed contently. The air was relatively fresh, save for the occasional waft of cigarettes and marijuana, and the music on her iPod was coaxing her into a light sleep.  
  
It was laughter and running footsteps pounding against the ground near her that yanked Lizzie out of her half-sleep. “Jesse, what the fuck, wait up!”  
  
Lizzie’s eyes darted around in attempt to piece together what was happening. It was the splash of cold water on her leg that shook her enough to sit up.  
  
“Sorry,” a voice called from in front of her. Further out in the field a boy in shades was apologizing to her. “Didn’t mean to get you!”  
  
Lizzie peered over her shoulder at a small group of giggling people, all equipped with water balloons. A water fight was beginning to take place and Lizzie was right in the middle of their battlefield. At least they were playing good music over the portable docking station they carried with them.  
  
“Yeah, whatever, it’s fine,” Lizzie waved dismissively.  
  
“Jesse you’re such a dick,” one of the guys shouted to him and Lizzie was startled to see he was approaching her. “Hey, sorry, we’re kind of starting a water fight right here. I’ll give you a cigarette if you move over that way.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and began to gather her things. “I don’t smoke.”  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“Do I look like a smoker to you?”  
  
“A bit, actually. Sure you don’t want to join in on the habit?”  
  
“No, but I’ll move over. Enjoy your…balloon fight.”  
  
“Water balloons!”  
  
“Same thing.”  
  
The boy shrugged and returned to his group of friends and Lizzie picked up her towel to march out further into the field, closer to the tanning girls. The water fight carried on and Lizzie turned her own iPod off in order to listen to the music they were playing instead. It wasn’t an easy feat, their shrieks and laughter made it difficult to hear the music, but Lizzie was determined. She made out several of Frank’s favourite bands before the group of teens settled down and collapsed on the grass by one another, chests heaving for air and smiles that would surely last the rest of the day.  
  
The time rolled on and Lizzie watched from afar as the group began to disperse. One girl and a couple guys ran over to join in on the football game and a couple more girls ventured over to the tanning turkeys. Someone shut off the music to take with them and Lizzie heard him call back to the whining group that he needed to pick up some groceries for his mom.  
  
“Jesse, you suck!”  
  
“Not hard,” the parting boy grinned and hopped onto his skateboard once reaching the pavement.  
  
Lizzie rolled onto her back and squinted at her cell phone to check the time. 4:45. “Shit!” Olivia would be home any minute and if Lizzie wasn’t home she’d have to deal with her lecturing over proper mandate for spending the day out and about. Olivia wasn’t the strictest mother around, but she liked knowing where her kids were going and when they’d be back. She wouldn’t be happy that Lizzie left without letting her know where she was going. The park didn’t have Olivia’s stamp of approval yet and Lizzie quickly gathered her belongings to shove into the bag, not bothering to pull her t-shirt back on as she hurried toward the park’s exit.  
  
“Owww,” someone made an offensive catcall her way and Lizzie grit her teeth and threw a glare in the culprit’s direction.  
  
“Shove it up your ass, dickweed.”  
  
Laughter came from the disgusting boy’s friends; comments on how he’d just been told off by a chick, which further angered Lizzie but she let it slide. She had all of two minutes to get home and there was no way she’d beat her mother in getting there.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie came to an abrupt halt in front of the house and groaned when she saw Olivia’s car parked on the street. The gate squeaked as she opened and shut it, as if laughing giddily over her foolish tardiness.  
  
The house was quiet when she walked in and a cool, wispy voice drifted by her right ear. “Should’ve called, Elizabeth.” Lizzie frowned at the air imagining Frank standing right in front of her.  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“Testy,” the voice giggled.  
  
“Where is she?”  
  
“Upstairs. Tell me about the park when you get out of jail.”  
  
Lizzie couldn’t see him leaving, but she felt the air lighten around her and assumed he’d taken off to another section of the house. Kicking off her flip-flops she trekked up the staircase barefoot and paused midway to pull her t-shirt back on. If Olivia saw that she’d booked it home in her bikini top she’d throw a fit. It’s a good think Mr. Frothman had already mowed his lawn earlier that day or he might have had a heart attack to see her running in suck a skimpy top.  
  
Lizzie peeked into Olivia’s room to find her shutting the closet door with a change of clothes in hand. Evidently she hadn’t been home that long to still be wearing her work outfit. “Hi, mom.”  
  
“And where were you?” Olivia gave Lizzie a disapproving look. “Elizabeth, if you’re going out, great. But you know you’re supposed to call me when you do! We are still new in town and I’d like to know where you are and when you’ll be home. I’ve told you time and time again to give me a quick call at work. Now where were you?”  
  
“I went to the park,” Lizzie scratched at the doorframe with her thumbnail. “No big deal. It’s only a few blocks down. It was nice out and I figured I’d go hang out there for a while.”  
  
“Well I’d much rather you went with someone, but I guess you won’t make any new friends if you don’t have the chance to explore. Just let me know next time. I pay a shitload for your cell phone so get some good use of it.”  
  
Lizzie let a small smile break through, “Ok, mom. Sorry. I’ll let you know next time.”  
  
“Ok,” Olivia sighed and rubbed at her temples, an obvious headache brewing. “What a crazy day.”  
  
“’Cause of me?”  
  
“Oh, no, not just you. Work was a bit nuts today. We’ll talk at supper, hm? I want to hear about your day.”  
  
Lizzie gave a brief not and exited the room to let Olivia change. She walked down the hallway to her own bedroom and found Frank seated by the window with a knowing grin on his face. It was unnerving having someone always listening in on her conversations. It wasn’t Frank’s fault by any means. On one hand it was a good thing he could hear so well, because he could give her warning when Olivia or Isaac were approaching. On the other hand he had told her countless times how much it annoyed him hearing everything and it caused Lizzie some embarrassing moments. Little things – like reminding her mom to pick up tampons from the store, or being lectured over something ridiculous she said.  
  
“Off the hook, huh?” Frank spoke first. “Told you to call.”  
  
“You said to call if I was going to be late for dinner,” Lizzie corrected and slumped down on her bed. “I’m not late for dinner.”  
  
Frank waved his hand in the air as if to get to the point. “How was the park? Is it still there?”  
  
“The park? Yes.”  
  
“I mean the hangout. Kids still mingling over there?”  
  
His eyes were so hopeful it made Lizzie’s heart flutter. Hearing about so much change in the world must be disheartening and confusing, it was probably reassuring to hear that not everything had changed.  
  
“Yeah, it’s still the angsty teenage watering hole it probably was when you were hanging out there,” she explained and picked at some lint on her comforter.  
  
Frank’s eyes lit up and he smiled over the news. “So did anything exciting happen while you were there?”  
  
Lizzie took up the next fifteen minutes explaining everything she could remember seeing and hearing at the park. Frank hung on her every word, finding it particularly funny to learn she’d been splashed with a water balloon. “Aw man, you should’ve slugged him. Or at least sought revenge by joining the fight.”  
  
She shrugged and tucked her knees up under her chin. “It was interesting just watching today. I might go back tomorrow…”  
  
“Yeah! You should! The park should be packed like today for the remainder of the week. School starts up next Monday doesn’t it?”  
  
“Thanks, Frank. So nice of you to bring that up.”  
  
“Just a fact. Got your binder all decorated for the year? My friend Gloria, man, she’d always decorate her binder. All glitter and fashion and pictures of her and Gerard together.”  
  
“I’m not a decorate-your-binder kind of girl. More of a doodle all over it during English class sort of girl.”  
  
“To be fair, that’s still a form of decoration.”  
  
“Alright, touché.”  
  
Frank smiled and then walked toward the attic door. “Your brother’s coming. Dinner must be on. See you later.”  
  
Lizzie startled when there was a knock at her door followed by Frank’s fading giggles.  
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Lizzie visited the park two more times before Monday morning arrived like a punch to the gut, and what a punch it was. First Lizzie had trouble getting out of bed, in denial that her alarm clock was going off until Olivia came into the room to shut it off herself and yank the covers off her daughter. Then Lizzie jabbed herself in the eye with her eyeliner pencil and couldn’t get her hair to do what she wanted it to.  
  
If that weren’t enough she forgot her lunch and ended up walking with Isaac and his friend Trent to school. The only good thing Lizzie had going for her that morning was that getting home meant hanging out with Frank.  
  
Trying to kid herself it was Lizzie who asked Isaac if he was alright and knew where his classes were before going their separate ways. In turn he asked the same question and Lizzie rolled her eyes at him. “Of course I know where I’m going, freshie. Just try not to get pantsed today.”  
  
Isaac only smiled and walked off with Trent to his first class of the day. Lizzie found her classroom before deciding there was enough time to hunt down her locker. Like a grade one kid on their very first day of school ever, she’d brought everything with her, save for the – what would probably be much needed - lunch. She’d stuffed her binder, her gym clothes, her pencils, wallet, iPod, water bottle and a novel into her poor backpack, which was stretched to its limit. The thought of hauling it around all day wasn’t altogether appealing so she searched for her locker.  
  
“414,” she muttered to herself. “414, 414, 414…” She stopped in front of the correct locker and was pleased to find it next to a window with a ledge to sit on situated right under it, making it an ideal lunching spot. Lizzie felt her spirits lifted, if even just a tad.  
  
She shoved her belongings into the locker, which thankfully and most surprisingly didn’t smell like sweaty gym socks. With another fifteen minutes before class she took a seat on the ledge and opened her binder to the very first blank page. ‘Geography’ she wrote in big block letters at the top to keep preoccupied. She only looked up when a couple girls came up the stairs and flashed them what she hoped was a friendly smile. In return the girls gave her an awkward smile back and walked away.  
  
“Who’s that?” one asked the other and Lizzie rolled her eyes.  
  
“Senior year,” some boys shouted down the hall and danced in circles carelessly which Lizzie found herself smiling over. She’d been expecting high school in Jersey to be full of flashy jock-like idiots, but while some did fit that description it didn’t suit all of them.  
  
Lizzie picked up her bag and carefully moved through the crowd of people in order to get to get to her first class in a new school.  
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The morning was long, with introductory lectures from the teachers who either hadn’t planned a lesson for the first day, or didn’t believe on teaching on the first day. Lizzie chose to sit at the back of the room in each class and took refuge in doodling in her binder as a distraction. The only words she exchanged with anyone was a simple ‘thanks’ when the course syllabus was handed to her.  
  
When lunch came around Lizzie’s stomach growled but she remembered with a sigh that she’d forgotten her lunch at home. The first day at a new school was not a day to visit the cafeteria. She wanted to avoid it like the plague and so decided to drop her stuff off at her locker and go off campus to scout out something to eat.  
  
She had just placed her binder into her locker when someone came sailing up next to her in a flash. Lizzie gave a start and then exhaled heavily when she realized the boy was on a skateboard.  
  
“Hey, neighbour,” he flashed her a smile and pulled open the door on locker 413.  
  
“Yeah, hi,” she muttered and eyed him from the corner of her eye. His hair was dark and shaggy, shielding most of his face, so it was difficult to make out what he looked like. Right now he was just a bunch of jet black hair.  
  
Slamming his locker shut he flipped his hair out of his face a moment later and the first thing Lizzie noticed was his eyebrow piercing. He opened his mouth to say something but someone was calling him from down the hallway.  
  
“Jesse, let’s go, man! I’m hungry!”  
  
Lizzie was only beginning to study his face when he was off like a flash again. “Catch you later, neighbour,” he stated and took off down the hallway on his skateboard. “Wait up, Nathan!”  
  
“Jesse, you know you’re not supposed to skateboard in the halls,” a teacher leaving his classroom reminded.  
  
“I just can’t help myself, Mr. Bryson,” was the response Jesse shouted over his shoulder.  
  
Lizzie expected the teacher to send him to detention, or call him back, but instead Mr. Bryson shook his head with a laugh and continued on to lunch. Lizzie stood momentarily stunned over the happenings that had taken place in just under a minute and then slowly made her way down the stairs and out to lunch.  
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As Lizzie had expected, getting home was the best part of her day. She’d somehow managed to catch up with Isaac and Trent again on the way home and walked a couple beats behind them, listening in on how excited they were over their first day. No pantsing, swirlies or wedgies, so they felt like they were in the all clear.  
  
As celebration Isaac invited Trent into their home to play video games in the living room and Lizzie retreated up the stairs to her bedroom.  
  
“So?” Frank was immediately at her side and patting her arm excitedly. “How was it? What the does the inside of the school look like now? Are any of my old teachers still there?”  
  
“You’re like a…like an excited puppy,” Lizzie laughed and let Frank pull her to the bed to sit.  
  
“Well I didn’t piss on the floor so don’t punish me. Tell me how today was.”  
  
“I guess it went better than I thought it would,” Lizzie admitted and smiled when he clasped her hand in his to hold. “Not everyone’s a complete douche. Plus no homework on the first day is a bonus. Hopefully the whole week is this slack.”  
  
“I’ll cross my fingers for you,” he scooted over until they were touching arms. “Anything funny happen?”  
  
“A teacher let my locker neighbour get away with skateboarding down the hallway,” Lizzie explained.  
  
“Shit, if I had skateboarded down the hallway I’d get thrown into detention without getting a chance to explain,” Frank laughed. “Well I’m glad your first day wasn’t a complete drag. But if it had been I was prepared and got you a present.”  
  
“Got me a present?” Lizzie quirked and eyebrow suspiciously.  
  
“Ok, so I made it, jeez. It’s the thought that counts. I went through all my CDs while you were out and made you a mixed CD! You can ‘awe’ at me now. Lay it on me.”  
  
“Awww,” Lizzie fulfilled the request and giggled. “Let’s see! What’s on it?”  
  
“What fun is it if I told you? Play it when you’re bored. Better yet, let me put it on your music gadget thing you carry with you like an extension of your hand.”  
  
“So you actually figured out how to make a playlist and everything on iTunes?”  
  
“The internet has answers to everything, I figured it out. Hey, come on, I’m not inept. Give me a little credit here. Give me your thing.”  
  
Lizzie handed over her iPod and watched as Frank rather skillfully uploaded the new playlist. “There. From my impeccable music taste to your ears.”  
  
“Thanks, Frankie, this is really sweet,” Lizzie smiled and threw her arms around his neck for a hug, which was quickly accepted.  
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	8. Chapter 8

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Hammer to Fall" - Queen_
  * _"Say Something" - A Great Big World_



_[Meet Jesse! (If you'd like).](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMzLkzpXG1Q) Remember, this is just an  idea of what he could look like! Even then it's not 100% accurate, but it's as close as I can get so far to show you what I imagine him to look and act like. You don't have to agree at all. Picture him how you'd like to picture him!_

_............................................................................................_

 

Frank’s playlist quickly became the soundtrack to Lizzie’s life at school over the next few weeks. She listened to it on her walk to and from, and occasionally during lunch when she wasn’t trying to get ahead on her homework. Frank couldn’t be out in public with her, but playing the music he had picked out just for her was like a part of him was present.  
  
Lizzie was seated on the ledge by the window at lunch drawing hearts and stars on the front of her binder when a voice coming up the stairs caught her attention. It was pretty quiet upstairs during lunch. Most people headed to the cafeteria, but Lizzie still found it difficult actually making a legit friend. She’d since talked to several people in her classes, but none of them seemed too keen on getting to know her. Lizzie didn’t know if she was being paranoid or if they in fact didn’t like her. Making friends had never been Lizzie’s strong suit. It was never anything she had to worry about before. She’d grown up with the same people since kindergarten back home and if anyone new was added to their group of friends then it was just assumed they were her friend too.  
  
“No, mom, it’s fine, I’ll pick up the groceries on my way home,” the boy she knew as Jesse came up the stairs. “I’ll see you later tonight. Love you too.” Being locker neighbours she hadn’t seen him in a while and watched as he pocketed his cell phone with a yawn.  
  
Jesse had something about him that seemed very familiar. He had sharp facial features, like that you might characterize a model as having. He had a tattoo on his left forearm that read _‘Live & Learn’_ and he dressed the part of a skater – all ripped jeans and band t-shirts under plaid shirts.  
  
He sluggishly moved forward toward his locker, unaware or uncaring that Lizzie was seated on the ledge watching him. It wasn’t until he’d closed his locker that he noticed her and gave a start. Laughing, he rest his forehead against the locker and closed his eyes. Lizzie didn’t know if he was laughing because of her or because he was just that tired. Judging by his lazy movements she assumed the latter.  
  
“I didn’t notice you,” he leaned against the lockers facing her.  
  
Lizzie shrugged, unsure of how to respond to his comment and so gave a small smile and continued to draw on her binder. Jesse took it as an invite to sit down and began peeling a banana. “Do you always hang out up here during lunch?”  
  
Lizzie quirked an eyebrow and stared at him. His gaze wasn’t on her but seemingly fixed on the windows at the other end of the hallway. “What does it matter to you?”  
  
He quickly turned to face her and held his hands up in defence, the banana still gripped in his right hand. “Just a question.”  
  
Lizzie held back a laugh and shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much. It’s quiet up here, and besides, the smell of cafeteria food is kind of nauseating.”  
  
Jesse nodded and took another bite of banana, chewing slowly and peering down the hallway in the same manner he had been. It was an odd quirk and Lizzie finally had enough of it.  
  
“What do you keep staring at?”  
  
“Why do you think this side has a ledge to sit on and that side doesn’t? That’s discrimination between the left and right side of hallways.”  
  
“- the fuck?”  
  
“It’s bullshit, Lizzie,” Jesse surprised her when he spoke her name. There was no hesitation in saying it. It ran off his tongue smoothly as if he’d been saying her name for months. “What’s your say on this? Where do you stand on the battle of window ledges?”  
  
“Are you on something?” Lizzie narrowed her eyes on him. “Is that why you look so out of it?”  
  
Jesse broke out into a smile and Lizzie couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen such perfectly straight teeth. He must’ve had braces to have earned such a picturesque smile. “No, no, just goofing around. But it’s still a question I’ve been pondering my three years here.”  
  
Lizzie nodded slowly, unsure of how to take this guy. On one had he was kind of charming, and on the other hand he had signs of being a complete psychopath. “Alright, well discrimination between left and right side of the hallway doesn’t make any sense. Depending on which way I’m facing either way could be left or right.”  
  
“Right,” Jesse peered at her as he took her point into consideration. “That’s a valid point, Lizzie. You have good ideas. I’ll keep you updated on any progress I make on this matter.”  
  
Jesse got up to leave and Lizzie spit out her question quickly. If not it’d just keep eating away at her. “How do you know my name?”  
  
“You’re the new girl,” Jesse tossed the banana peel toward the garbage and watched as it went in. “Swoosh! Therefore, everyone knows your name and talks about you.” He took a couple steps closer and held his hand out. “I’m Jesse.”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Lizzie muttered and accepted the handshake.  
  
“Do you?” It was Jesse’s turn to quirk an eyebrow in amusement. “How so?”  
  
“Your friends calling you and stuff. Teachers letting you get away with things.”  
  
“Get away with things? I wish! I’ll catch you around, Lizzie. You should withstand the nauseating scent of cafeteria food and come hang out in there sometime.”  
  
Lizzie watched him leave down the stairs and tapped her pen against her binder before flipping to her geography homework.  
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The clinking of cutlery against plates was almost deafening to Lizzie’s ears over dinner a couple days later. Olivia had made Lizzie’s favourite dinner, which was a sure sign that something was up and the gentle smiles Olivia kept throwing her way were none too settling either.  
  
“So, Friday evening,” she began cheerfully and Lizzie knew exactly where the conversation was headed. “Are you going out again tonight, Ike?”  
  
“Yeah, a group of us are going to see a movie,” Isaac answered while giving Lizzie a guilty look. “Shouldn’t be very late getting back.”  
  
“That sounds like fun! And how about you, Izzy?”  
  
Lizzie frowned. Of course Olivia knew she didn’t have plans, just like she didn’t have plans for the past several weeks. Yet she still insist on asking, as if to prove a point that Lizzie already knew, an infamous parental strategy. “No, mom, nothing planned,” she muttered and poked at her food.  
  
“Maybe you could sit with your brother and his friends at lunch sometime,” Olivia fed Lizzie that same phoney smile she used when Lizzie was younger and telling her mother all about how she’d be a famous dancer one day after three ballet classes. Or that time she decided to become a vegan, which only ended up lasting two weeks. Or that time she cashed her first paycheck from her summer job at the ice cream parlour down the street and was confident she’d be moved out by the time she turned eighteen. Olivia always gave her the same phoney smile, because while she didn’t want to shut down her daughter’s dreams she also knew that realistically it wouldn’t happen. That was the same smile she was giving Lizzie now at the dinner table. She knew Lizzie wouldn’t actually sit with her brother. She knew the likelihood of Lizzie making any long-term friends at her new school was slim to none.  
  
“Yeah, maybe,” Lizzie went along with it. Monday needed to be a new turn of events at school if she was going to get Olivia to ease up on the awkward questioning at dinner.  
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Frank was almost as bad as Olivia was, but he never pressed her on the issue. Instead, he completely ignored the conversation he would have heard downstairs when Lizzie came up to her room. Instead he yanked her down on the bed and announced it as being an _Indiana Jones_ marathon, to which Lizzie completely threw Frank off by explaining there was a fourth installment to the franchise in more recent years.  
  
“You better tell me next that you own that fucker,” Frank threatened. “Of all the things you’ve told me, Lizzie, this should have been the very. First. Thing! As soon as we got over the whole ghost thing, the next thing out of your mouth should have been ‘There’s a fourth _Indiana Jones_ ’.”  
  
“I’m sorry!” Lizzie laughed and hid her face against his arm until her nose began to sting from the cold. “But I do have it.”  
  
“Well let’s get started! I’m not getting any younger here!”  
  
“You’re not getting any older, either.”  
  
“Nope, but you are, so put the goddamn movie on. Friday night spent well.”  
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Dreaded Monday morning came as it always did and Lizzie shuffled through the busy hallway to her locker like every other miserable Monday. They weren’t even a full two weeks into October yet and the weather had taken a sudden dip in temperature, prompting an influx of teenagers in thick hoodies and leather jackets. Including Lizzie, who had pulled on her two sizes too big royal blue sweatshirt for the day.  
  
She went through the motions of a Monday morning, nodding along like she knew exactly what the math teacher was saying, copying down important names and dates in geography and occasionally swinging the stick during floor hockey.  
  
When it came to lunch Lizzie retrieved her food from locker 414 and casually made her way to the cafeteria like she promised herself she would. It was loud and crowded, just as she envisioned it to be, and left her feeling dizzy with the amount of things happening. She wandered around a bit with her lunch in hand, searching for Jesse, or maybe even her brother, but couldn’t spot either.  
  
“Hey, look, it’s that new girl,” Lizzie’s hearing picked up to hear one girl exclaim at a table nearby. “Is she lost?”  
  
“I don’t know,” a voice responded, “but she’s not the friendliest person in the world. She’s in my math class and she never talks to anyone. She’s kind of a snob. You’d think you’d want to be nice to everyone when you’re the new kid, but not her. I’m not about to invite her over.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes in their general direction. If they wanted a bitch they’d get one. Still, the comments nipped at her, breaking her down bit by bit and making her feel small. She decided against causing a scene and ducked quickly out of accidentally being whapped in the face by an enthusiastic guy making huge hand gestures. In almost the same moment she spotted Jesse sitting with his group of friends at a table. He looked tired again, but was laughing along regardless and appeared to be enjoying himself.  
  
“Hey,” she came to a stop at his side.  
  
The group burst into a fit of laughter and Lizzie’s voice remained unheard.  
  
“Uh, yeah?” a guy finally noticed her standing next to Jesse awkwardly. “You want something?”  
  
Lizzie felt her face flush and she quickly searched for a quick comeback, but nothing in the moment came to mind and the rest of the table all began to turn their attention to her curiously.  
  
“Lizzie, right?” a girl spoke up next. “You’re that new girl everyone keeps talking about. Where’d you come from?”  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Jesse who looked up at her in surprise and smiled. “Tolerating the cafeteria today?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess so,” Lizzie answered and shifted her weight from one leg to the other. It was an awkward situation to be in – too much pride to _ask_ to sit and not yet _invited_ to join their table. It was difficult to read the expression on their faces. No one looked annoyed by her presence, but no one looked ready to welcome her with open arms either and so Lizzie continued her conversation with Jesse and Jesse only. “Thought I’d come see what Jersey’s cafeteria life was like.”  
  
“And?” Jesse prompted before taking a gulp of his soda.  
  
“Obnoxious,” Lizzie answered bluntly.  
  
“So go back home,” one of the guys in the group appeared to take it too personally and narrowed his eyes. “Christ, it’s not like you were invited here.”  
  
“No choice, actually,” Lizzie bit back and pulled a chair up without being invited. She plunked herself down stubbornly and proceeded to unpack her lunch. No one in the group seemed impressed by her action and even Jesse gave her a look of uncertainty, as if pondering whether or not he’d made a mistake.  
  
“Are you going to sit there then?” one of the girls leaned forward across the table, her voice a whisper, but in a way that made Lizzie’s stomach twist up.  
  
“I didn’t see your name on the chair, so, yeah,” Lizzie narrowed her gaze. “Why? You going to move me?”  
  
“Un-fucking-believable,” the girl gave a dry laugh and backed up, her eyes cast on Jesse accusingly. “Would you quit playing school welcome committee, Jess! You’re a terrible judge of character.”  
  
Jesse said nothing and the group began gathering their things to leave. Lizzie watched each one of them, fighting back embarrassing angry tears. Comments were shared amongst each other, including ‘Rude little bitch’ and ‘Bratty princess’. The worst, though, was when Jesse got up to leave with them, giving Lizzie a look of regret along the way.  
  
Then it was just Lizzie and her lunch in the middle of a loud, crowded room. She was surrounded by people, but felt alone. Jesse had been someone she thought could be a new friend, but as it turned out he was just a really friendly person. He probably talked to everyone openly. He probably never expected her to actually take up his invite.  
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The rest of the day moved along at a painfully slow pace and Lizzie had to work extra hard to keep her mind focused on the school work. Any thoughts of lunch was like a trigger and made her want to cry. It didn’t help that two of the girls from Jesse’s group of friend were in her science class either. That wasn’t how lunch was supposed to go and Lizzie kept playing it over in her mind the things she should have said.  
  
She should have asked to sit with them. She should have introduced herself and just explained that she had a shy personality. She shouldn’t have used the word ‘obnoxious’ when this place appeared to be a second home to them. She shouldn’t have intruded like she had, assuming they would all be accepting of her in their group after only having talked to Jesse once.  
  
Lizzie was so lost in her thoughts by the end of her last class of the day that she almost didn’t notice the bell ring. She made her way to her locker where Jesse was already grabbing his backpack. Hesitantly she walked up to her own locker and Jesse gave her a quick glance. No words were exchanged and Lizzie watched as he skated off down the hallway like he always did in order to meet up with his friend Nathan. What hurt the most was that he was smiling and high-fiving people along the way, seemingly over the awkwardness at lunch, while it was something that would eat away at Lizzie for weeks or months.  
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The cool breeze stung Lizzie’s face as she walked home. Continuing her battle of biting back tears she hoisted the backpack up on her shoulders and revaluated the situation at hand in her mind. Nearly one and a half months in the school year and she still hadn’t made a decent friend. Making the effort to befriend someone brought out the awkward and defensive nature in her, successfully building a barricade around her. The only person who’d been able to break through that barricade recently was Frank and now Lizzie was worried that even he actually didn’t like her. She hadn’t read Jesse correctly, so who was to say she knew Frank like an open book?  
  
Today had been the worst day yet and she was looking forward to crawling into bed to wallow. Her mom was working late and Isaac was going over to Trent’s place to work on a school project together, thankfully. It would leave out two thirds of the questions she’d have to endure. The other third she couldn’t avoid.  
  
When the house came into view Lizzie’s gaze automatically flickered up to the attic. Her ghostly friend would wait for her daily, much like a dog in the window waiting for its owner to return. Not that Frank waited all day in the window, but when that time drew near, he was there with a smile on his face. Often times Lizzie would wonder if he was that happy to see her simply because she was a living person who wasn’t freaked out by him, or if he legitimately liked her as a friend. If Frank was alive and her age, would he still care about her? More than ever before Lizzie was looping the question in her mind as she saw Frank watching her. Like always he flashed her his bright smile and gave a small wave. Usually Lizzie would risk a quick wave in return, but not today. What if Frank was just like all those other jerks? What had he been like when he was among the living? Probably just like the group at lunch today who didn’t believe in second chances.  
  
Lizzie didn’t enter the house right away. Instead she sat down on the top step of the rickety porch. She curled into herself and gave a miserable sigh. Jersey was turning out to be exactly what she had feared when they first arrived.  
  
Sniffing back anymore tears Lizzie stood up and began to dig around for the house keys buried in the depths of her purse. They weren’t needed though, the door swung open slowly with an eerie creak, letting her know Frank had managed to unlock the door. It was hit and miss with the doors for Frank. Over the last couple months Frank had shown her things he was capable of and things he wasn’t. Some days he was able to touch the front door of the house, but other days his hand would simply go right through the doorknob any time he tried to grab hold of it.  
  
Lizzie entered the house in her miserable state and threw her backpack down to the side without care. Automatically Frank was standing in front of her with a surprised look on his face. Throwing objects wasn’t an everyday occurrence for Lizzie. Isaac was clunky and clumsy, always tripping or dropping things, but not Lizzie.  
  
“Hey,” is what Frank settled for saying first, however. Not ‘What’s the matter?’ or ‘What’s your problem?’ or ‘Why the grumpy demeanour?’ Simply: ‘Hey’. Like ‘I missed you.’ or ‘It feels like it’s been an eternity.’ or ‘I care about you.’.  
  
Without a word Lizzie moved passed her ghost friend toward the stairs, trying to let it go unnoticed that she had just been in tears. It was a pretty hopeless cause, Frank was always aware when she was upset. It was difficult to trick Frank and she imagined he must have been the kind of kid to have gone searching for his Christmas presents before the date. Even that ‘D’ on her last science test- Frank had somehow found out about it, and it wasn’t because he had gone rifling through her things. All he had to do was question her what was going on – because he was incredible at reading facial expressions and playing her on that vulnerable card. Well not this time. She would not spill her guts to him this time.  
  
“Hey,” Frank called after her again in the same caring manner. “What’s the matter, Lizzie? Lizzie?”  
  
“Leave me alone,” she finally snapped. “You’re just like all the rest of them anyway! How fast would you have been rid of me? A week? A day? An hour? You probably would’ve criticized the moment you saw me!”  
  
Frank fled up the stairs after her, so swift and quick you may have mistaken him for gliding or flying. He stood firmly at the top of the stairs to block her but Lizzie only glared and proceeded to walk right through him. The action greatly saddened Frank who had, in the past, expressed to Lizzie that it reminded him forcefully of his absence to the world. He didn’t exist anymore to anyone but Lizzie, and for her to walk through him as if he wasn’t even there was like being hallowed out and thrown aside like yesterday’s news. Frank had been yesterday’s news for so long that he had forgotten how badly it hurt being ignored or unseen. This was a heavy reminder to him that he no longer existed to anyone, but Lizzie.  
  
“Lizzie,” he let the hurt seep into his words, “what did I do? What happened today?”  
  
“Leave me alone,” she bit back at him in tears. “Leave me alone! You’re dead! Dead, Frank! So do me a favour and just disappear already! You’re dead to everyone else, so why can’t you be dead to me too?”  
  
Frank’s entire expression fell with her words until he stood in the doorway looking just as - if not more – upset than his friend. Or someone he perceived as being his friend.  
  
“Don’t you think that’s what I want too?” he suddenly spoke, his voice choked and bitter. “Don’t you think I’ve been wishing for it for years? For death to come to me finally? What the fuck did I do to deserve this hell, Lizzie? You had a bad day… I’ve had a bad _eternity_. Do you even care though? Do you ever ask me how difficult it must be?”  
  
Lizzie watched in shock, unaware of how quickly the temperature was declining around her until she shivered and noticed the frost forming on the hall mirror. The cold felt as if it were moulding to her body, like being hugged by lost souls. It caused the air in her lungs to escape in short, violent outbursts until she was struggling to breathe and sunk down to the floor.  
  
“I h-hate, Jersey,” she stuttered out and wiped frantically at the tears that were stinging her cheeks. She must have looked like a five year old child having a tantrum, but she couldn’t stop the emotion from flowing out of her.  
  
“Poor baby,” Frank snarled in return. “Must be so hard for you.”  
  
Lizzie climbed to her feet again and walked right up to the teenage boy so they’d be face to face. “What were you like when you were alive, Frank? Huh? Would you have even been friends with a ‘poor baby’ like me? Why don’t you admit the only reason you’re friends with me now is because I’m the only person who acknowledges you?”  
  
Frank backed up in surprise by her sudden change in emotion. He had never been so confused over a girl’s raging emotions before. Sure, he understood the once a month deal, and he understood the weeping over sad films, but he couldn’t read Lizzie. He was at a loss for why she was so incredibly upset and hurting him in the process. Finally anger set in place and he frowned right back.  
  
“Are you implying that I use you?”  
  
Lizzie grit her teeth in anger and lunged forward to shove him backwards.  
  
Frank caught his balance, ticked off that he had just been shoved, but thrilled she was at least acknowledging his presence again in the physical form.  
  
“Hey,” he narrowed his eyes and tried to keep his temper under wraps. He had to keep reminding himself that she was upset for a reason. There was obviously something bothering her and he just needed to dig deeper to find out the cause.  
  
“I hate it here and-“ she squeaked before Frank pulled her to his chest firmly for a hug.  
  
“Hey,” he coaxed once more, his anger fizzing away and the concern setting back in place. “Lizzie, hey, calm down. What happened today?”  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whimpered into his shoulder, shivering from his cold touch, but refusing to let it end. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”  
  
“What happened today that got you so upset?” Frank repeated gently. “And what are you accusing me of? What do you mean about ‘when I was alive’?”  
  
Lizzie didn’t answer right away. Instead, she was finding herself speechless and completely flustered in his arms. “Are you my friend?” she finally squeaked and carefully stepped out of his embrace in order to read his facial expressions.  
  
“If I wasn’t then I would still be a mystery to you like I am to Isaac who still can’t figure out why his cell phone ends up in his favourite box of cereal each morning.”  
  
“You do that?” Lizzie giggled in amusement and shyly scuffed her shoe against the floor. “He’s never mentioned it to me… Probably thinks he’s going crazy.”  
  
“…And do you think you’re going crazy?” Frank asked softly, uneasy and unsure of what the response would be.  
  
“I know you’re here,” Lizzie whispered. “It’s not about your presence or anything. And I’m sorry for what I said about you… You know, dying – or leaving. It’s not about that.” Lizzie let her eyes travel around the upstairs hallway before setting on staring at the dingy ceiling because it was easier talking to an inanimate object than his cute face. How many guys had this beautiful a face while still maintaining their masculinity? “You know how much school has been a drag for me, and I don’t – or haven’t made any new friends since moving here.”  
  
“You made one,” he corrected quickly. “Well, half of one at least. Don’t be so upset, there are a lot of jerks in Jersey. You just have to stand your ground. Hold your head up and spit at any douchebags that cross your path.”  
  
“That’s just it though. I don’t know if you’d be one of those jerks in high school.”  
  
“That’s what you’re so upset about?” Frank questioned in disbelief. “You’re worried about whether or not I would have been your friend in high school?”  
  
“Well are you actually so nice to me now because I’m the only one who knows about you? Or…?”  
  
Frank frowned, “’So nice’? What do you think I might have been like in high school?”  
  
“You probably made fun of girls like me, admit it. You wouldn’t have let yourself be seen with me. You’d be like all the other jerks that talk about me.”  
  
“You’re worried I’m not really your friend.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged and blushed. Coming out of his mouth it sounded a lot more ridiculous than it had in her head. It sounded like something two little five year old girls would be upset about – not a seventeen year old senior in high school.  
  
Frank began laughing suddenly. Full out laughing.  
  
Lizzie stared in surprise, unsure if she should be offended or laugh right alongside him. Finally Lizzie became fed up enough that she moved around the laughing ghost to venture to her bedroom, though her action wouldn’t provide any kind of comfort with a ghost drifting to-and-fro doors and walls as he pleased.  
  
“No, wait, Liz,” Frank called after her and caught up to her side in a flash. “I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have laughed. You’d probably laugh too if you heard it from my perspective though. Living or not I wouldn’t be friends with anyone I didn’t want to be friends with. And to put your reeling mind at ease you should know that even in high school I didn’t make fun of the misfits. If anyone was going to receive any kind of insult from me then it was the jocks.”  
  
“And you just expect me to believe you?” Lizzie eyed him skeptically.  
  
“Isn’t that what friends do?” he smirked – obviously pleased with the direction the conversation was heading. “Now _you’re_ not being my friend here are you? Why should I believe that _you’re_ not pretending to be my friend because you want to gather evidence? What if I’m allowing myself to feed you important information when in the end you’re going to spill my existence to the world – become all rich and famous and then leave me?”  
  
Another chill ran through Lizzie’s veins and she sounded out of breath with her next words: “You know I’d never do that to you, Frankie.”  
  
“So why would I do anything just as wrong to you?”  
  
“I guess I’m just worried that the only reason you’re my friend is because I’m the only one who knows your secrets.”  
  
“Well here’s another secret for you, Liz… You are – or would have been friend material to me in life too. If I could I’d beat the hell out of those assholes at school for you. I can’t understand why they don’t give you a shot, because it’d be their gain to be friends with you. And it pisses me off that all I can do when you come home upset is listen.”  
  
“Listening helps a lot, Frankie.”  
  
“But not enough,” he murmured in return. “What happened today that got you so upset? Talk to your ghostly pal.”  
  
Lizzie couldn’t help but give a brief laugh and crashed into her friend’s arms for another hug. “Same old thing. Tell me about a day you’ve had where you were extra angsty.”  
  
“Then you’ll tell me about your day?”  
  
“Deal,” Lizzie whispered as she realized just how close her face was to his. A tingle made its way throughout her body, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. Cold didn’t even seem to exist in that moment, though she was sure Frank was as cold as he always was. Without much more thought about her feelings, emotions or possible outcomes Lizzie pressed her lips against his. Her heart pounded in anticipation of his reaction as soon as it began, but as quickly as it began was as quick as it came to an end. Frank didn’t kiss back – not in the slightest. In fact he backed out of it and gave Lizzie a look she couldn’t decipher; filled with too many emotions to sort through.  
  
“Look, uh, Lizzie – I-“  
  
“No, forget it, I’m sorry. Wrong as usual, that’s me.”  
  
“No, not wrong,” he quickly grabbed hold of her arms to keep her from running. “I wasn’t being fair to you, I was probably feeding you mixed signals. You just have to – I mean I have to – I died in love, Lizzie. I was in love with Daphne. Maybe if we had – if I had survived. Liz, I don’t even know if she’s still alive. If we were both still alive then maybe we would have married, you know? Maybe we could have worked things out.”  
  
“But what if she did survive? Don’t you think she would have moved on?”  
  
“I’m also dead, Liz. And you are very much alive.”  
  
Lizzie stared wide-eyed at Frank in front of her, letting his words sink in. Then with a heavy sigh she turned into her bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed. Frank stood near the doorway in silence, neither knowing what the next words should be.  
  
“I think I just need some time alone, Frank,” Lizzie finally muttered. “Can you leave me alone for a while? Like, a few days or something?”  
  
Frank’s expression was pure hurt but he nodded slowly and backed out of her room, leaving Lizzie to sob into her pillow, wishing with all her heart that she could bring Frank back to life.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	9. Chapter 9

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _Literally rain and thunderstorms on YouTube. Go nuts!_



_.............................................................................................................................._

 

It rained for two days straight and Lizzie put on a struggling happy face for Olivia and Isaac during that time. Olivia drove them both to school in the mornings, but it was a soppy mess walking home at the end of the school day.  
  
In that time Lizzie hadn’t seen Jesse, nor Frank, who respected her wishes and stayed hidden. She could sometimes feel his presence though, and the cool chill surrounding her at home was a sign that he wasn’t very far away. He was waiting for the moment she’d ask him to come back, ready to consume her time like shiny new toy.  
  
Lizzie was seated at her window watching the afternoon thunderstorm. 4:00 PM and the sky gave the impression it was bordering night. She had spent a lot of time over the past couple days trying to piece together what she did know of Frank’s past, but there were so many gaps she couldn’t imagine what had happened to lead him to the state he was in. He talked about wanting to marry Daphne, and wanting to work things out with her. Something must have gone wrong along the way, but what happened?  
  
Lizzie wiped away a stray tear and tucked her knees up under her chin. Thoughts of Frank dying were hard to cope with. At some point he could have been in immense amounts of pain and Lizzie hadn’t even existed yet. There was no way around it, Frank was dead, so she tried to imagine that he died instantly and felt nothing. But being trapped here in the house wasn’t fair and Frank deserved so much better. Frank would never be hers and she needed to accept it. What more, Frank did belong to someone. Daphne. And if there was any way Lizzie could repay Frank for being the sweetest guy she’d ever met, it was to complete his story.  
  
After another clap of thunder Lizzie quickly got up and grabbed a notepad and pencil from her drawer before disappearing into the one place Frank wouldn’t follow her; the bathroom.  
  
She sat down in the bathtub and began to scribble a list of names:  
  
**Frank  
Daphne  
Gloria  
Gerard  
Mikey  
Bob  
Ray**  
  
She sighed in frustration after completing the short list. They were just a list of first names and useless without a last. They might not even have the same last names that they did. Lizzie had nothing to go off of without the first crucial piece of information, and that was Frank’s full name.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie softly padded down the narrow stairway, taking it slower than usual and chewing on her lip nervously. Over the past few months she had grown accustomed to her new surroundings. The house was still cryptic looking, but it had also taken a special place in her heart and allowed her to call it home. Drafty, dirty, rickety old home. The living room was cleaned and decorated to her mother’s taste, with family pictures adorning the walls and bookshelf. The kitchen was spotless and remodeled from what it was originally – the only room that was fully remodeled, mainly because it’s all her mother dare spend with such a tight budget. Lizzie would have complained about it a few months ago, but now she would rather nothing else about the place change.  
  
Lizzie let her fingers trace along the wall as she took the last few steps down and let out a long, soft sigh. Her palms felt sweaty and she examined the picture she held in her left hand once more. She could still back down and hide the photograph at the back of the top drawer in her dresser where only she and Frank knew where it was. She was handing over a memory that wasn’t hers to meddle with.  
  
Isaac was locked into his video games, making it a prime opportunity for Lizzie to converse with Olivia about the photograph and wanting to know more about who her bedroom originally belonged to. Meanwhile Lizzie knew exactly who it belonged to – the cute 19 year old with a seriously adorable giggle and incredible music taste and fashion sense. The ghost boy who was the only person there willing to listen to her gripe about how awful school was and how she struggled to fit in. The ghost boy who offered her open arms when she came home in tears because _she_ had messed up a possible friendship at school.  
  
“Mom?” Lizzie piped up quietly from the doorway of the kitchen. “…Can we talk?”  
  
Olivia looked up from the kitchen table in concern. It wasn’t everyday her daughter held that tone to her voice; such sadness. “Of course, sweetheart, what’s the matter? You look blue.”  
  
“Can we go outside? It kind of warmed up a bit today.”  
  
“Sure,” Olivia smiled gently and wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”  
  
Lizzie felt a draft run up her back and glanced over her shoulder to find a very worried and saddened Frank peeking around the corner. And why shouldn’t he look that way when she had never purposefully asked for her family to step outside for private talks. He knew it wasn’t to avoid Isaac, so it must be because of him or about him. Frank was nervous.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The breeze was still a bit cool but the mother and daughter brushed that fact aside and took a seat at the table next to the shed. For a moment Lizzie simply looked up at the tree in their backyard – all bony and forlorn without its lush green leaves to liven it up.  
  
Lizzie gave her mom a small, forced smile, and Olivia rubbed a hand over her daughter’s arm in return – encouraging her to speak her mind.  
  
“I found this in the attic,” Lizzie nearly winced and shakily handed over the polaroid photograph. “I was just going through some of the boxes Ike and I already looked through and found it in one of them. I guess we missed it before. Do you think that this could be one of the people who lived here?”  
  
Olivia, though surprised, took the photograph to examine closer. “It could be. I would assume the boy, hm?”  
  
“Yeah, well I guess so, considering the clothes and stuff.”  
  
“A very good looking boy too. I suppose this is him with his girlfriend. Daphne. 1987? Well this is quite an old photograph isn’t it? He’d be more than twice your age now, Izzie.”  
  
“I guess so,” she whispered and glanced to the house with another soft sigh to follow. “I was just thinking… Like, I mean, do you think information about him could be tracked down?”  
  
“Why would you need that kind of information?”  
  
“It’s just weird, mom, don’t you think? This guy just up and leaves? What about all his possessions? There’s something not right about it and I want to know what happened to the previous owners. There has to be a way we can find out.” Lizzie felt the tears springing to her eyes quicker than she could blink them away. “I mean – what happened, you know? What happened.”  
  
Olivia quickly moved forward and wrapped her daughter up into a warm hug. “Sweetie, ssshhh. It’s ok, it’s ok. I just don’t understand why you’re getting so upset over it all.”  
  
“Don’t you get it though, mom? I mean don’t you get it? All of his stuff was left behind. So what does that mean?”  
  
“It could mean a lot of things, Lizzie. It could mean that he was a troubled teenager who ran from home. It could mean there was a family emergency and he fled the scene, never bothering to return. It could mean he wanted a completely fresh start and none of what he owned appealed to him anymore. It could mean-“  
  
“It could mean he died couldn’t it?” Lizzie sobbed out. “Huh, mom? It could mean he died?”  
  
“Well…yes. I suppose so. I know it was troublesome at the beginning but why are you becoming so worked up about it now? We’ve cleared out your room. It’s your bedroom now, styled how you want it. If you don’t want those posters up anymore we’ll take them down and remodel your bedroom. Why don’t we do that, sweetheart? We’ll take down the posters and buy some purple paint for the walls, just like back at the old house.”  
  
“No. No, that won’t fix anything. I just really want to know who owned this house before us and why no one has lived in it until us.”  
  
Olivia nodded and sucked in a breath of autumn air. “Ok, Elizabeth. Let me talk to the realtor who sold us the house and my lawyer. I’ll see what I can dig up about the house’s previous owners and specifically this boy.”  
  
“Frank.”  
  
“Yes. Frank.”  
  
“Thank you, mom,” Lizzie sniffled and latched onto her mother for a tight hug. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, sweetie. I love you too. Why don’t you go lie down for a while, hm? I’ll bring you up some hot chocolate and cookies once I’ve baked a batch.”  
  
Lizzie nodded and while she was hesitant about leaving the polaroid with her mother, walked toward the house with one brave step at a time.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Olivia didn’t follow Lizzie inside right away. Instead she remained outdoors to rake up a few leaves first. The kitchen had a lingering draft that Lizzie had experienced before exiting the house with her mother a brief few minutes prior to her return. Frank was nowhere to be seen however. At least not to her eyes. The cheeky punk boy had the tendency to sneak up on her for fun now and again, but this didn’t feel like the time nor place to be making jokes and Lizzie still hadn’t given him the ok to approach her again. Frank had looked worried when she asked Olivia to step outside with her, and she was sure he would have questions.  
  
Just as slowly as she had padded down the stairs, Lizzie made her way back up them, her hand brushing against the wallpaper and under framed photographs of vacation pictures from the last time she and her whole family and visited Chicago together.  
  
Lizzie paused midway up the stairs when she felt the air cooling significantly and closed her eyes. Frank was upset.  
  
“Frankie?” she coaxed and walked down the hallway cautiously, on the lookout for any appearance of her ghostly friend. She pushed open her bedroom door, expecting to find him seated on her bed where he would normally wait for her when she called.  
  
Instead of hunting him down Lizzie did as her mother had told her and lay on her bed, curled up into a ball and holding her tears back. Maybe it shouldn’t be this dramatic. Maybe she shouldn’t feel so incredibly crestfallen and ill over possibly finding out why or how her best friend had died. Frank never brought it up himself after all.  
  
It was the thought of finally finding out why Frank hadn’t lived to experience adulthood that upset her greatly. His life had been cut short and for such an amazing human being this didn’t seem fair at all. More than ever Lizzie was wishing he was alive and well – her age and experiencing and sharing life with her outside of the house. Living it. And if Frank couldn’t be her age then she at least wanted him to be that forty-something year old geezer who had been given his dreams and was married to this Daphne girl he refused to discuss. On days when the house was cold for no real explanation, Lizzie knew were days Frank was in mourning over the loss he felt inside.  
  
Lizzie sucked in a shaky breath and pulled the blanket over herself to provide a barrier from the cold. It wasn’t long until she was asleep.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie didn’t sleep long, maybe half an hour before she woke with a start for no apparent reason and squinted at the time on her cellphone. Even in her disoriented state she wasn’t startled when a voice next to her spoke up rather miserably.  
  
“Why’d you do that, Lizzie?”  
  
Lizzie turned onto her other side and became face to face with Frank who blinked slowly and awaited a response patiently. He watched her with a mix of concern and sadness, lost in confusion over what exactly the content of the conversation could unravel.  
  
“I just wanted to have a private conversation with my mom. I know that it’s pretty much impossible for you to block us out, so I asked to speak with her outside instead.”  
  
“What’s so private that you need to worry about a ghost hearing? What am I going to do about any juicy gossip? I don’t exactly have anyone but you to talk to.”  
  
“Still, a daughter sometimes just wants to speak with her mom and that’s it.”  
  
Frank didn’t look convinced though and continued to watch her squirm under his gaze nervously. “You were talking about me with your mom weren’t you? Did you tell her about me? About seeing things? Are you going to a psychiatrist now? Are you going to block me out? Forget me? Ignore me?”  
  
“Frank,” Lizzie was going to call him stupid, but paused when she saw how genuinely worried he appeared to be. “No. I…I don’t think I’m crazy. And besides, if I did, I would have started therapy weeks ago when we first met. I’m obviously ‘ok’ with talking to a ghost…”  
  
“So then what is it? What did you have to talk to your mom about that you can’t tell me?”  
  
“Why do I need to tell you everything? Don’t I tell you enough as it is? I just wanted to talk with my mom in private, I shouldn’t be interrogated about it from you as a result.”  
  
Frank chewed on his lip ring a moment and then reached out to run a hand carefully over the side of her head. “I just don’t like when you’re sad and right now you look really fucking sad, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie shivered under his touch and he quickly pulled his hand away, knowing how cold he was in contrast to her. However, Lizzie frowned and shifted closer to him on the bed in order to snuggle right up against his body and sling and arm across his waist. “You’re my best friend, Frank.”  
  
The ghostly boy jumped at the chance for a cuddle and returned the embrace.  
  
“Likewise,” he muttered softly.  
  
Lizzie could feel the temperature in her room increase slightly and silently sighed in relief that Frank would let the conversation outside slide.  
  
It was a creak on the stairs that interrupted the two, which was probably a good thing because Lizzie was beginning to shiver from the cold contact but didn’t want to tell Frank to move. Instead Frank vanished as he always did in a split second and the cool air around her lifted, indicating that he had moved off of the bed as well as made himself disappear.  
  
Olivia entered the room not five seconds later with a promised batch of cookies and hot chocolate for her daughter. “Hi, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”  
  
“Better.”  
  
“You were really upset outside. Are you sure keeping this room the way it is, is best for you? You can always redecorate it. Or you could trade rooms with your brother, or you use the spare room. Maybe that would be better.”  
  
Lizzie bit down on her tongue, and though she knew she wouldn’t find him, let her gaze dart around the room, knowing full well Frank was somewhere there listening and piecing together what had occurred outside. Lizzie hadn’t thought this through carefully enough and now Olivia was going to blow her cover.  
  
Already she could feel the goose bumps reforming on her skin. It made her body ache and she wrapped her arms around herself in attempt to keep warm. “I don’t want to leave this room and I don’t want to redecorate. Let’s just forget what happened outside until it’s resolved.”  
  
“I’ll-“  
  
“No, like, seriously, mom, just forget it. I don’t want to hear anything more about it until you know anything more about it.”  
  
Olivia opened her mouth yet again to protest but Lizzie wouldn’t have it.  
  
“Seriously, mom,” she practically shouted. “Just stop. I just sort of want to be alone right now. Can I be left alone right now?”  
  
Olivia sighed softly and pet her daughter’s head. “Alright, fine, but drink the hot chocolate, it’s drafty in the house again and I don’t want you getting sick and missing school.”  
  
“Deal.”  
  
Olivia nodded and leaned in to peck her daughter’s head. “Love you, weirdo.”  
  
Lizzie put on a small smile and nodded. “Love you.”  
  
Once sure her mom was back downstairs Lizzie looked around the room cautiously, expecting Frank to show up once more demanding answers, but he didn’t appear.  
  
“Frank?” she called in a whisper. The temperature hadn’t dropped any more than it had, so at least that was a good sign, but either way it still bothered Lizzie that Frank didn’t respond to her call.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The news didn’t arrive instantly like Lizzie hoped it would. Instead it took nearly three weeks for the realtor to get back to Olivia with any scrap of information. In that time Frank celebrated his birthday. It had taken a lot of coaxing and convincing but he seemed to have forgiven Lizzie for the conversation that occurred outside the house walls.  
  
For his birthday Lizzie bought him three new CDs of his choosing that he could upload and listen to on his MP3. She’d watched three of his favourite horror movies in a row with him and even though he didn’t eat, snuck a couple cupcakes up to her room with a number 1 candle in the first and a 9 in the second. A bit of morbid humour, considering Frank was technically supposed to be in his forties, but the number 19 seemed much more fitting. Following that Lizzie was put on candy duty, but it was a great deal more fun when Frank helped out by supplying ghostly moans and suddenly swinging the door shut in trick-or-treaters faces.  
  
The event had been one that left Frank with a wide grin on his face when he hugged Lizzie goodnight.  
  
_“I had this huge blowout birthday party one year, Lizzie, but honestly, this was so much better. I haven’t celebrated my birthday for years, so thanks for making today so awesome.”_  
  
Those were the first words that came to mind when Lizzie got a call from her mom at school informing her that she had received a fax with information regarding the previous owners of the house. “I know you’ve been waiting very patiently to hear anything so I just wanted to let you know that tonight you’ll have some answers.”  
  
“Thanks, mom,” Lizzie replied quietly before hanging up. Lunch had just started and she grimaced when she saw Jesse moving through the crowd toward his locker.  
  
Lizzie did her very best to ignore him by taking extra interest in her cell phone, but couldn’t help but sneak glances. Jesse always looked tired, as if he spent every night gaming. Isaac had the bad habit of occasionally pulling an all-nighter, but where most teenagers would spend all night cramming for a test, Isaac was trying to beat a level on one of his precious video games. As a result he would show up at school with the same exhausted appearance Jesse was exhibiting.  
  
He slumped back against his locker briefly and let out a long sigh before pushing off toward the stairs, his feet dragging against the floor. It was a rare sight, Lizzie imagined, because usually Jesse was all smiles, regardless of how tired he seemed.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie met Olivia outside of the house, explaining to Frank that she was going to go study for a test at the library when really it was just about having some time to view the information without him hovering around.  
  
It was the same explanation she gave her mom when the envelope was in her hands, but Olivia wasn’t so quick to let her go. Instead she tugged Lizzie back by the wrist and studied her face.  
  
“I know this information is important to you,” she explained softly. “I don’t know why you’ve been so anxious over it, but before you take off to the library to research any further, I want you to know that the boy in the photograph you gave me did pass away.”  
  
Lizzie almost laughed at the obvious remark considering Frank’s ghost had been living with them ever since they’d moved in, but Olivia was extremely serious and so Lizzie took in a breath and swallowed her laughter.  
  
“I thought that was probably the case. Thanks, mom.”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“Love you,” Lizzie returned before quickly taking off down the sidewalk. The library was only a couple blocks over from the high school, which made it an ideal location to visit before exams. In fact, it was almost as popular as the park when it came to teenage hangouts during midterms and finals.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie claimed a computer at the back of the library, hidden from any prying eyes before she opened the envelope. A last name, that’s all she needed. A print of an e-mail exchanged between her mom and the realtor was attached on top of the small stack of papers, which at quick glance appeared to be information regarding the condition of the house. Lizzie carelessly tossed it aside and began to read the e-mail.  
  
_Olivia,  
  
Sorry it took so long to get back to you with this information, but it took a bit of digging around. There wasn’t a great deal of information to be found regarding the previous owners. I only know the basics. The house hasn’t been lived in since 1990 when the elderly couple that lived there moved out following their grandson’s passing._  
  
The e-mail skipped on to information regarding when the house was built and technicalities Lizzie didn’t understand nor cared to begin understanding. She flipped the page over, hoping there would more information regarding Frank on the back, but nothing. “Fuck,” she muttered and leaned back in her chair before letting her eyes rest on the stack of papers she’d tossed aside.  
  
The name jumped up at her even before she had picked the papers up. ‘Iero’. Italian no doubt. Lizzie’s hands shook in excitement, but had to remind herself that the name could mean nothing. If these were Frank’s maternal grandparents it could mean he didn’t share their last name. Regardless it was more information than what she had started with and logged onto the computer with a feeling of hope.  
  
Trusting Google Lizzie clumsily typed in ‘Frank Iero’ just as is. No question attached or year of death. Just his name and up came the listing of how many Frank Ieros were in the US. Lizzie rolled her eyes over the eagerness in her fingertips. Of course more information would be needed to find the Frank she was searching for. The clicking of the keyboard keys seemed to echo throughout the library as she punched in her next search.  
  
‘Frank Iero obituary 1989’  
  
It wasn’t an obituary that came up, but an article from a website of archived newspapers reporting an accident. Lizzie clicked hastily and took in a sharp breath of air when a photograph of a smashed up car loaded under the headline: **“Teen Boy Dies in Icy Car Crash”**  
  
_Wreckage of a car accident was reported by a local resident Saturday morning following one of the worst winter storms Jersey has seen in a while. 19 year old Frank Iero was reportedly found deceased on sight. Police speculate that Iero hit an icy patch on the road before crashing into a telephone pole. The time of when the crash occurred is undetermined. An autopsy is being conducted to determine further information. It was, however, reported that Iero had left a party earlier Friday evening following an argument with his sister Nicole._  
  
The family has been contacted and are terribly saddened by the news.  
  
Lizzie leaned back in her chair and stared wide-eyed at the screen, unsure of whether she wanted to cry, scream or throw a chair against the wall. Frank wasn’t present, but Lizzie felt the coldest she had since moving to New Jersey.  
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	10. Chapter 10

[How I imagined Nikki to look like in "My Dream Nightmare" (for the most part).](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aEdG5G7Djs)

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The walk home from the library was cool and Lizzie held the envelope of information snugly against her chest. She’d printed the article off and spent the next hour on one of the library couches pretending to read, while trying to remain in control of her emotions. Arriving home and crying at the first sight of Frank wouldn’t do anything to help him.  
  
Frank had never mentioned having a sister to her before. He had mentioned his grandparents and she had always just assumed he lived with them, never bothering to ask why that was and where his parents were. There were all kinds of different families, that’s what Lizzie had always been taught, so it never dawned on her to question it.  
  
Now Lizzie was faced with a dilemma over whether or not it was wise to reveal to Frank what she’d found out at the library. There was virtually nothing stopping her from going out to track down Frank’s sister. If she could track down Frank’s sister then maybe she could track down Daphne. Lizzie had read about ghosts before and understood they were there because there was something in their life they hadn’t completed. Maybe it involved Daphne, or maybe it simply involved reconciling with his sister, whom he’d apparently argued with before the accident.  
  
Nicole. It could be simple enough to find her if her if 1. She hadn’t married and changed her last name. 2. She still resided in New Jersey. 3. She was listed in the phone book.  
  
Lizzie hurried up the front steps into the house when she reached them and was quickly greeted by her mom.  
  
“So how did it go at the library? Did you find everything you were looking for?”  
  
“Studying?” Lizzie played dumb. “Yeah… I studied.”  
  
Her mom quirked an eyebrow but didn’t argue any further on the matter. If Lizzie wanted to talk then it was clear she’d make it known. Instead Olivia announced that they’d be eating chili for dinner and re-entered the kitchen.  
  
Lizzie hurried up the steps to her bedroom and stuffed the envelope into her backpack before she heard the closet door creak open. “Hi, Frankie,” she smiled at him.  
  
The corners of his mouth lifted into an amused grin and he gave her a little wave. “Back already? I figured you’d stay till they kicked you out. You seemed pretty stressed out over that test.”  
  
“I guess I didn’t need to study as much as I thought. I think I know it.”  
  
“Want me to quiz you on it?”  
  
“Nah, I’m good,” Lizzie forced a smile and plunked down on her bed. “So what have you been doing while I was gone?”  
  
“Uh, well first I danced around naked in the kitchen while your mom was cooking. Then I used a Ouija board to call upon myself. And finally I sat outside your brother’s bedroom making cat noises.”  
  
Lizzie smiled half-heartedly. “Well I believe the cat noises.”  
  
“Something wrong, Liz?” Frank asked as he took a seat next to her.  
  
“No, I’m fine,” Lizzie answered softly and cuddled herself against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and bit her tongue to keep her emotions from overflowing. “Why are you always so cold, Frankie?”  
  
“Uh, I don’t know,” he shrugged and rubbed a hand over her back gently. “I don’t know what causes it.”  
  
“Are all ghosts cold, do you think?”  
  
“Don’t know. Never met another ghost. But probably.”  
  
“Do you feel cold?”  
  
“No. Not really. It’s kind of a numb feeling. Like when your hands are exposed in cool air too long… Like you probably texting on your phone outside in this weather. Numb. But I can feel warmth. That’s why hugs from you are really nice. You’re warm. But hugs in general are awesome anyway.”  
  
Lizzie smiled and squeezed him tighter. “I’ll give you more hugs then.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was difficult to concentrate in school the next day and Lizzie began the annoying habit of tapping her pen against her notebook until a couple classmates narrowed their eyes at her. “Sorry,” she mouthed and blew a strand of her hair out of her eyes.  
  
All night Lizzie was mulling over what to do next. Whether or not to let Frank in on what she wanted to do for him. Whether or not she should risk trying to find his sister for further information. Whether or not she was even capable of gathering all the pieces of the puzzle she was trying to solve. What if she made promises to Frank and failed?  
  
In the end Lizzie decided to leave it to fate. During a spare she took up a computer in the school’s lab and searched the White Pages for Nicole. Waiting for each page to load felt like a century with so many people using the server at once and Lizzie scanned her eyes over the walls of the lab as she waited. Someone sat next to her and Lizzie shifted around uncomfortably in her seat. It was one thing to be searching some average strangers name on a public computer, let alone have a student sitting right next to her while doing so. They could easily sneak a glance at her computer screen and judge her as a stalker.  
  
When one match in Jersey came up for Nicole Iero Lizzie quickly jotted the information down on a scrap piece of paper, logged off her computer and quickly exited the room before paranoia could eat her up any more.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie lied to her mother that evening about where she was headed. The longer she thought about what it was she was trying to accomplish by contacting Nicole, the less likely she was to go through with it.  
  
A new friend’s house she had explained quickly, though Frank hadn’t been so easily fooled and was reluctant to let her leave. He spent the half hour prior to her departure that evening hovering around her with curious eyes.  
  
“You’re lying to me,” he finally stated while she carefully applied gloss to her lips in front of the mirror. “I’m not going to bother you about it, but I know you’re lying to me. Whatever you’re doing though, be careful, huh? You thought it was unfriendly around here during the day then you should see it at night.”  
  
“I’m going to some house party, that’s all,” Lizzie insisted. “It’s a Friday night, and if I’m going to make any kind of friend here I guess I have to put myself out there a bit.”  
  
“Whose party is it?”  
  
Lizzie gave a small laugh and rolled her eyes, “You know, for someone who is forever nineteen you sure do act like a paranoid father. I’ll be back later tonight, I arranged for a ride home with some people.”  
  
“Deal with it,” Frank grinned briefly before turning serious again. “What people?”  
  
“Uh, that guy I told you about. And some of his friends. He said he’d give me a ride home.”  
  
“Jesse? You’re getting into a car with that asshole and his friends after what happened at lunch? Are you sure that’s such a great idea? Whose party is this anyway?”  
  
“I don’t know, just some girl’s.”  
  
“How are you getting there?”  
  
“I’m busing in there. And before you can go and lecture me about taking the bus at this hour let me remind you that my _mom_ already approved of this. So if you go and tell me it’s a stupid idea then just know you’re acting worse than my mother.  
  
Frank grit his teeth, as if holding back his opinion and held his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Nope, I’ve got nothing. _Mother_ knows best.”  
  
Frank turned his back to Lizzie and began to walk away slowly, but Lizzie smiled knowingly and tilted her head to the side at her own reflection when Frank began talking again, as if he couldn’t help it.  
  
“Does your mom know you live in New Jersey now? It’s a Friday night! Lunatics are waking up and crawling out of the shadows right now,” he tapped his wrist, miming a watch. His body looked tense, as if the entire ordeal was stressing him out to his limit. Again, Lizzie was reminded of her father, or how Isaac had acted the one time he saw her holding hands with a guy at school. “Nope,” he dismissed again, “I’m not bothering you. Go. Have fun.”  
  
“Frank,” Lizzie gave a small giggle over his concern.  
  
“Nope!”  
  
“It’s, like, 6:30!”  
  
“It’s November! It gets dark early! Or have you looked outside?”  
  
“Either way, the party is pretty early in the evening, so it’s probably not going to run that late. I’ll probably be back pretty early if it’s boring.”  
  
“Better be a drag,” he mumbled and sprawled out on her bed with his MP3 in hand.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie walked down the block, keeping her eyes peeled for any kind of potential threat. While it wasn’t the most dangerous street she’d ever seen in her life, it still wasn’t one she felt secure walking alone at night.  
  
When she arrived at the apartment building she looked it over and sighed. This was her one shot at locating Frank’s sister. If this wasn’t the Nicole Iero she’d been looking for then her lead had come to another barricade.  
  
Her first mistake was walking into the building uninvited. Lizzie didn’t think twice about the intercom when she realized the lock on the door was busted anyway. She let herself in and walked up the stairs to the third floor. It wasn’t a big building with a total of four floors and she quickly found the apartment she was looking for. Taking in a breath of air she knocked and waited.  
  
“Yeah, and who are you?” a voice startled Lizzie out of her thoughts a moment later. She quickly realized the voice was coming from behind the door and that whoever was speaking was watching her through the peephole.  
  
“Hi. Uh, my name’s Lizzie? I’m looking for Nicole.”  
  
“Nikki.”  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“Nikki,” the woman’s voice answered and Lizzie heard the lock being fiddled with. The door was pulled open and a woman who looked no older than forty eyed Lizzie with uncertainty. Her eyes were wide and hazel and her nose sharp and perfect for her face. The only giveaway that she was older than thirty-five were the small wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Not laugh lines, but the result stress could bring. Her clearly dyed dark brown hair was short and her ears were pierces several times. The jeans she wore were tight against her hips and the t-shirt she wore hugged her thin frame. This was a woman confident with her appearance no matter how aged she became. The word ‘cougar’ came to Lizzie’s mind, but somehow she felt it wasn’t a suiting title for her.  
  
Lizzie took in the woman’s appearance and stood stunned. “I’m sorry, are you Nicole? Nicole Iero?”  
  
“Nikki,” the woman corrected yet again, her patience wearing thin. “The only person to ever call me Nicole was my father.”  
  
“Uh, sorry. Anyway, I guess you’re who I’m looking for… I think.”  
  
“What are you doing, some kind of survey? Will it take long? I’ll do it, but I also have a load of washing to get done too.”  
  
Lizzie quickly shook her head and realized her next mistake was not properly digesting the right words to say when she did come face to face with Frank’s sister. In all the excitement of tracking Nikki down, she never really thought to think of how his sister would feel having questions about her deceased brother sprung on her. Immediately Lizzie’s palms began to sweat and she did the only thing she could do. She thrust the polaroid picture of Frank and Daphne forward. “Is this your brother?”  
  
Lizzie didn’t dare to look, but felt the picture taken from her grasp. An uncomfortable length of silence hung in the air until Nikki slumped against the doorframe in shock. “Where did you get this?” her voice shook, airy and clearly upset.  
  
When Lizzie didn’t answer Nikki grew impatient and took a breath before speaking again. “I asked you a question. Where did you get this picture from?”  
  
“I found it,” Lizzie explained easily. “At my new house. It was stuck between some CDs.”  
  
“Your new house,” Nikki pulled the bits of information together quickly to come to a conclusion, though she didn’t bother asking how Lizzie tracked her down. Her eyes could barely leave the photograph, a flood of memories she kept locked away carefully in the back of her mind were suddenly being unleashed at a speed too quick for her and it was all overwhelming. “What?” she muttered and fumbled the picture so it fell to the floor between them. “No,” she panicked, tears gathering in her eyes and her voice becoming frantic. “Why? Who are you? What do you want from me?”  
  
“Mom?” another voice was added to the equation. Not three seconds later a boy came around the corner. Lizzie didn’t get a very good look, but estimated him to be around Isaac’s age, or maybe a bit younger. He pulled Nikki back gently from behind, trying desperately to gain her attention and stop her from crying.  
  
Lizzie took the opportunity to bend down and retrieve the photograph of Frank and Daphne. As she did so yet another voice spoke up – this time angry. “What the hell is going on?” A pair of Chuck’s came into view, directly in front of her and Lizzie’s eyes quickly darted up to be met in surprise, the photograph falling from her grasp.  
  
“Lizzie?”  
  
“Jesse?”  
  
The familiar boy from school was quick to nab the picture before she could even process picking it up again. He took a quick glance at it in confusion and then called over his shoulder as Lizzie stood back up to her full height in front of him. “Aaron, take care of mom, I’ll be back in a bit.”  
  
Like that the door was closed and Lizzie lost sight of her first and only link to finding out vital information concerning Frank. What more, she had a very unimpressed Jesse on her hands and he was guiding her roughly by the shoulder toward the stairwell.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Jesse didn’t speak until he and Lizzie were standing outside of the apartment building under the night sky. It was getting cold out, but that was the very last thing on Jesse’s mind as he took another look at the photograph and then set his eyes on Lizzie in determination.  
  
“What the fuck is going on then, Lizzie?”  
  
Lizzie reached for the picture but Jesse held it out of her reach and gave her a gentle shove back. “Give me that back! That’s mine!”  
  
“ _This_ is my mom’s brother,” Jesse’s eyes narrowed into an accusing glare as he pointed to Frank in the polaroid. “That makes him my uncle. So I think this picture belongs more rightfully to me than you! My question is why are you showing up at my place with it?”  
  
Lizzie had never felt so lost for words before and she scuffed her shoes against the pavement in embarrassment when her odd behaviour was so bluntly pointed out to her. She had been so stupid not to plan out the outcome of her presence to Nikki and what more she apparently now had Jesse to deal with as well. Lizzie never actually stopped to question what kind of life Nikki might be leading now – if she had a family and what she did for a living. If she could, Lizzie would take a step back in time to approach everything differently.  
  
“I found that picture at the house I moved into this summer,” she explained quietly and paused. Jesse’s eyes were locked on Frank and she wondered if he was even listening to her speak for a second. It then made sense to Lizzie like a slap in the face, that Jesse looked familiar because little bits of his facial features were reminiscent of Frank.  
  
“That doesn’t explain why you’re here now,” Jesse muttered. “Or how you tracked my mom down… There isn’t much on this picture to give you a lead so what did you do to find her and why did you want to find her?”  
  
“You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you,” Lizzie mumbled down to the ground and folded her arms in attempt to keep warm.  
  
“Well you’re here now, so obviously you did something to get here. Try me.”  
  
For a brief second Lizzie actually contemplated telling him that his uncle was a ghost living her house, but refrained and summed her story up in a couple sentences. “I found this picture and my mom’s realtor managed to find out his last name. I went to the library and read an article with your mom’s name in it so looked it up in the phonebook and ended up here on your doorstep. It’s all pretty simple.”  
  
“Nothing about it is simple,” Jesse sighed in exhaustion and glanced off to the side before another thought dawned on him. “Wait, so you live in my uncle’s old house?”  
  
“…In your uncle’s old bedroom to get creepily factual. He sort of left behind a load of his stuff after he…died. Look, I’m really, really sorry I upset your mom, it’s just that I’m trying to track down some more information.”  
  
“Why are you so interested?” Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “And you’re not going to get much out of my mom you know. I mean- she’s my mom and she barely ever talks about my uncle. His name alone brings back too many bad memories for her. Like, is this his girlfriend in the picture? I don’t know. You probably know more than I do.”  
  
Lizzie watched Jesse’s inner struggle happening right before her. He too wanted to know more, but at what cost? His mom was clearly upset by Lizzie’s presence. “You find all of the possessions of this guy in your bedroom when you move in, wouldn’t you be curious to find out more information too?”  
  
Jesse stared blankly for a moment and then gave in with a nod. “I guess I would. But like I said, you’re not going to get much information from my _mom_. I’ve been asking her for years to tell me about my uncle, but all I really know is that he was super talented on guitar, loved music, had a great sense of humour, and died in a car accident when he was only nineteen. Which really sucks, you know? ‘Cause mom always says I would have really liked him and got along with him, and I believe her. This is honestly only the second picture I’ve ever seen of him.”  
  
“Your mom doesn’t even have pictures of him?” Lizzie’s heart dropped. It hurt to think as Frank being a vague memory Nikki tried desperately to forget.  
  
“She probably does somewhere, but I don’t know where they’d be…. Why am I even telling you all this? What are you even trying to accomplish again?”  
  
It was Lizzie’s turn to sigh and she blew a strand of hair out of her face. “What I’m really trying to do is contact the girl in that picture then, I guess. Daphne. Has your mom ever mentioned her before?”  
  
“No. Well, maybe. It might have been mentioned before, but probably not since I was little. Mom used to keep in contact with a few of her friends from when she was younger, but it’s been years now since she last talked to any of them. Some moved away and I think she just lost touch with the ones still in Jersey…if they are still here.”  
  
“Who are they?” Lizzie spit out quickly. “Who is it that still lives here, Jesse?”  
  
“Uh… Shit I don’t know. The only person I really remember much about is Mikey, and I haven’t heard from him since I was, like, ten. He used to babysit my brother and I when mom had to work late but he moved to California.”  
  
Lizzie made a noise of frustration and stomped her foot against the ground childishly. “This is so stupid!”  
  
Jesse watched her and gave a brief smile. “Stomping feet, great. Yeah, that’ll solve things, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie paused and rolled her eyes over her own stupidity before smiling as well. “Sorry. This just feels like another dead end.”  
  
Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, finally noticing the cold and giving a shiver before speaking again. “Look, I’m sorry about that day in the cafeteria. You were in the wrong too, but it didn’t help that my friends can be a bit exclusive. You should have let me know you wanted to come hang out with us and I could have warned you.”  
  
Lizzie fidgeted on the spot uncomfortably to have the subject so directly brought up and folded her arms with a frown. “Yeah, well, your friends are dicks and I’m getting by just fine on my own. It’s a shitty school.”  
  
“It’s not a shitty school,” Jesse stated calmly. “Maybe you just have a shitty attitude.”  
  
“Hey,” Lizzie opened her mouth to argue, but refrained when nothing clever came to mind and shuffled around on the spot. “I have to go. Give me the picture back.”  
  
“No way! This picture doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to my mom.”  
  
“Or maybe it belongs to Daphne,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes into a glare as she swiped the picture out of his hands unexpectedly and quickly turned to leave. “Douchebag!”  
  
Lizzie assumed Jesse would run after her, but instead he turned and walked right back into the building. She couldn’t really blame him, the wind was picking up and he was probably wise enough to realize he wasn’t equipped with the proper attire. Besides, after the weekend Monday would come around again, and unluckily for Lizzie his locker was next to hers.  
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	11. Chapter 11

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"December" - Collective Soul_



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“Must’ve been a _really_ shitty party if you’re back this soon,” Frank smirked as Lizzie walked into her bedroom. He teased, but the look in his eyes told Lizzie he was extremely happy she was home. “That Jesse kid and his friends weren’t pricks to you were they?”  
  
Lizzie didn’t answer right away, but instead hung up her purse and kicked her shoes off into the closet. It was an awkward feeling knowing now that ‘that Jesse kid’ Frank spoke of with distaste was his nephew. Frank had a nephew he’d never had the chance to meet. Lizzie was face to face with Frank’s sister only an hour ago and yet couldn’t bring herself to tell him. If she did it needed to be in the gentlest way possible and Lizzie was unsure such a way existed. Any way she told Frank it was bound to upset him. She’d never been the kind to worry about walking eggshells around other people’s emotions, but Frank was different.  
  
“Yeah, it was a really shitty party,” she mumbled finally and moved to her docking station to put some music on. “You probably had some pretty shitty parties in your past too, I’m sure.”  
  
“Fucked up parties is what I had,” Frank gave a laugh, though it sounded distant and uncertain – as if contemplating it being a laughing matter or not. “I don’t even remember being at a party where everyone went home at the end. We usually crashed at one another’s place. You know – one guy passed out in the bathtub, a girl sleeping on the stairs, Mikey with his head hanging over the toilet with his thumbs up in the air like he’d accomplished what he set out to do.”  
  
Lizzie laughed and pulled a hoodie over her head. “I kind of wish I was around back then, with you guys. You sounded like fun. I mean, I’ve been a bit drunk before, and I don’t think it’s really something I care about doing a lot, but I mean hanging out with you for the other things. Your friends seemed genuine.”  
  
“You and Bob would have hit it off, I think. You’re so stubborn you wouldn’t stand for any of his bullshit talk.”  
  
“Was he cute?”  
  
“He’s the blond in the picture.”  
  
Lizzie pulled the top drawer of her dresser open and dug around in the back until she came across the photograph Frank was referring to. And there they all were again, Frank’s group of friends that sounded almost too cool to ever have existed. She took a moment to locate Mikey in it first, after Jesse mentioned him to her earlier. She couldn’t imagine what he might look like now, and one measly picture wasn’t enough to determine if he was the geeky cute type who the puberty fairy visited and granted dashing looks, or if he was the creepy geeky type that was forever trapped in a state of perverted troll syndrome. Jesse hadn’t said much about Mikey, but the way he came up in conversation didn’t make him sound like a creep, so Lizzie assumed the puberty fairy may have shown up at his doorstep one day.  
  
“Ew! Beards are a no-go, ” she exclaimed when the blond teenager captured her attention next. “Ugh,” she wrinkled her nose in distaste. “That’d be like kissing a tree.”  
  
“A tree?” Frank giggled. “Where do you pull your facts from? Besides, princess, doesn’t the saying go: ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’? Bob was a good guy, he just had some temperamental issues to work out from time to time.”  
  
“Like, I’m a big bully, hear me roar?”  
  
“More like look at me funny and I’ll punch you in the face.”  
  
“And you’d want to hook me up with him?” Lizzie laughed. “Wow, thanks, Frank. That’s nice of you.”  
  
“He wouldn’t have hit you! Besides, like I said, you wouldn’t have stood for any of his bullshit. You probably would’ve whipped him into shape. Build a time machine, Lizzie, I’d pay to see you and him argue.”  
  
Lizzie made a silent wish over it being possible and eyed the group picture in her hand once more.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie hid in amongst the crowds striding up and down the hallways at school. She’d seen Jesse at a distance three times already, and all before lunch. He was standing guard by his locker, carefully studying the faces passing by. It was problematic for a couple reasons, each revolving around needing items from her locker.  
  
When the bell rang for lunch period Lizzie continued to watch from behind a group of people. Jesse was leaned up against his locker and texting on his phone, but soon heaved a sigh and skated off to the boys washroom on the same floor. Lizzie immediately seized the opportunity to fetch her lunch and backpack from her locker; everything she would need to escape another visit at the end of the day.  
  
She wasn’t living in a horror film and Jesse was not about to come at her with an axe, but even so, Lizzie’s hands shook with panic. She wouldn’t be able to put up with the same charades every day. Eventually she would have to deal with him face to face, but she didn’t yet have everything sorted out in her own head to bring someone else into the equation.  
  
Lizzie dropped her backpack at her side in order to retrieve her math textbook that had somehow managed to get shoved to the very back of the top shelf, along with a baggie of squashed grapes she recalled bringing for lunch sometime last week. She wrinkled her nose and refused to deal with the mess in the moment; deciding to leave it until the next day.  
  
With the book tucked securely under her arm she hopped back down and quickly slammed her locker shut, only to be met with a smirking Jesse whose face was much too close for comfort. Lizzie gave a startled scream and tripped backward over her backpack, landing ungracefully hard on her ass.  
  
“Ow,” she groaned and squeezed her eyes shut as the pain radiated up her spine. “Fuck. You son of a bitch.”  
  
“Nicely played, Lizzie,” Jesse clapped sarcastically. “You lose, of course.”  
  
“You know, a gentleman would offer his fucking hand right about now,” Lizzie glared up at the green-eyed boy.  
  
“I never claimed to be a gentleman,” he reluctantly reached down to yank her back to her feet. His grip was tight and anything but friendly in the moment and Lizzie gave him an icy stare in return, daring him to speak.  
  
Jesse snorted and pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket. “I might have something you want here, but not without a proposition,” he explained coolly.  
  
“I’m not dealing with you,” she argued instantly and picked up her backpack from the floor with a wince, sure she had stupidly bruised her tailbone. Still, she slung her backpack over her shoulder and began to march away stubbornly without another glance at the boy behind her.  
  
“Hey, wait,” he called and easily caught up on his skateboard. “Don’t you even want to know what I have?”  
  
“No.”  
  
He quickly skated up ahead and swerved in front of her, causing Lizzie to come to a sudden halt. An exasperated sigh left her mouth and she briefly contemplated shoving him over.  
  
“Look, all weekend my mom was a wreck because of you showing up suddenly on Friday night. You don’t know the bullshit she’s gone through in life and I’m not about to let you bury her with questions about her brother. But what I can try to do is help you find someone you can talk to about Frank.” He held the paper up again and eyed Lizzie seriously. “My mom doesn’t keep in contact with many people from when she was younger, and I already told you Mikey moved to California. But there was this other guy named Ray who fixed our computer once as a favour and has tried to keep in contact with her over the years. He still does once in a while, but she always hangs up on him. But guess who coincidentally called yesterday afternoon. And guess who answered. The stars must be in alignment for your quest, Lizzie. I don’t know how much he knows about my uncle, but he did agree to meet up and talk.”  
  
Lizzie eyed the paper and felt her mouth run dry. Frank had mentioned Ray before, stating he was a really smart guy, but that’s all she could recall learning about him. She had picked up a few more facts about Mikey based on simple conversation with Frank. She could even picture speaking to Bob after her talk with her ghostly pal the other night, but Ray was completely new territory.  
  
“Why would he agree to it? What did you say to him?”  
  
“I said that my mom wasn’t willing to hear what he had to say anymore but I was,” Jesse shrugged simply. “Ray seems like a desperate guy; like he’s always trying to make up for something, I don’t know. My mom won’t hear anything more from him since he fixed our computer. Whatever shot he had he failed or fucked up pretty good. He can’t talk to my mom anymore so he’ll probably try and use me to get back on good terms with her ; win me over.”  
  
“That sounds creepy.”  
  
“Not in a creepy way! Does your mind always end up in the gutter? I’m trying to help you here, are you going to listen to my proposal or what?”  
  
Lizzie folded her arms and stared stubbornly, not ready to give him the satisfaction of voicing her interest.  
  
“First, I want in on this stalker thing you have going. My mom’s not going to tell me anything more about my uncle and I want to know about him. So if hunting down his old friends alongside you is the way to get any kind of information, then so be it.  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth, ready to protest but Jesse held his hand up to cut her off.  
  
“And secondly, you said you live in his old house and found some of his belongings. I want to see it all.”  
  
Lizzie’s initial reaction was fury for the boy basically taking over her investigation, but after a few cool-down seconds it settled into her head that she wouldn’t be getting anywhere else in her search without Jesse’s help. At least with Jesse involved it seemed more normal for him to be curious about his uncle’s life.  
  
“I’m not letting you into my house,” she grit her teeth. “I don’t know you.”  
  
“All friends start out as strangers to one another,” he reasoned simply and held his hand out. “We’ll get there, eventually.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes and looked at his hand before sticking her nose up and walking away. “I’ll call you when I’m ready.”  
  
“Going to be kind of difficult without my cell number though, isn’t it?” he called after her and Lizzie refrained from stomping her foot in frustration and embarrassment.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie was lying on her back with her cell phone held above her face and Jesse’s number on display in her contact list. She frowned at it, reliving their interaction that day in the hallway. Jesse had made a point to say bye to her at the end of the day, flashing her a smile that try as she might to analyze as malicious, was actually just a genuine smile.  
  
“What’s got you so wrapped up?” Frank’s voice came out of nowhere and his cold hand swiped the phone right out of hers. He examined the number and Lizzie watched his expression change from curious to surprised. “What’s this?”  
  
“A phone,” Lizzie muttered  
  
Frank grinned in amusement and Lizzie prepared herself for whatever teasing remarks he was about to throw her way. “Yeah, alright,” he shocked her with instead.  
  
“What?”  
  
“No, it’s cool, I get it.”  
  
“Get what, Frank?”  
  
“Awe, come on, Liz, I’ve been around the block. You like him.”  
  
“I do not!”  
  
“Man, that geek back in Dakota is really going to miss your face shrine comments I bet. What was he just saying the other day about mailing you nudes?”  
  
“He didn’t say that. What the hell are you even talking about?”  
  
“Lizzie, getting all heated up aren’t you?” Frank continued to tease. “Want me to cool you down? Your new boyfriend might get mad though, huh?”  
  
“Shut up, Frank!”  
  
Frank laughed good naturedly and crawled up next to her on the bed. “Alright, alright. Whatever the case, be careful with that punk – he was a conniving motherfucker when you came home crying over him.”  
  
“I wasn’t crying over him,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes and shoved Frank’s arm, only making the ghost boy laugh and gently grab her wrist when she reached out to shove him again. “I wasn’t,” she insisted and relaxed under his grip. Her eyes lingered on his tattooed hand until she sighed softly through her nose and gave him a weak smile. “Do you ever get bored of me? Like, just having me to talk to? You probably wish you had a guy friend to talk to.”  
  
Frank laced his fingers through hers and smiled, “Nah. Gloria was a girl…is a girl… She was my best friend. Do all people just assume best friends have to consist of the same gender? I told Glore everything.”  
  
This warmed Lizzie up inside and she let go of his hand to hug her knees up to her chin happily. Something about Frank’s best friend being a female was endearing and sweet. “So you’re telling me that you sat through all the gossip and drama girls often put themselves through intentionally and unintentionally? The garbage that boys usually shrug off and want nothing to do with?”  
  
“Hey, I liked some of that gossipy shit,” he argued and Lizzie burst into giggles. Frank smiled gently over her lightened attitude and tucked his hands behind his head. His bedroom had taken on some girly features since Lizzie moved in, but he didn’t mind in the slightest. In fact, it was kind of nice walking into a room that smelled of perfume sometimes – all mango, lilac or some exotic crap called “Lunar Mist”, which Frank decided should smell like dog but didn’t.  
  
There were vanilla candles on the dresser and more magazines with sparkly vampires adorning the covers. She had a couple cuddly looking stuffed animals perched on the windowsill next to a plant she was failing miserably at keeping alive. Every time Frank looked at those stupid stuffed animals he smiled, because they were worn and tired looking – as if they’d lived a full, happy life. And Frank smiled at the dying plant too, because it was just like Lizzie to not be able to take care of a goddamn plant more than two weeks. She could have all the time in the world and still forget to water the stupid thing while she blatantly stared at it every single day as its leaves shrivelled up from the sun exposure and lack of water. There were a couple times Frank even watered the plant, just because he felt bad for the shrub.  
  
“Did you two ever crush on one another?” Lizzie’s voice pulled Frank out of his thoughts. His eyes lazily met hers and she resisted the urge to gasp over the way the sun reflected them – all bright and shimmery. Frank was dead, but life was still dancing up a storm in his eyes.  
  
“I don’t know. Maybe a bit when we were in grade three. Maybe again when we were in grade eight.”  
  
“You liked her?”  
  
Frank paused to think for a moment and shrugged. “I think it was sort of mutual. But nothing either of us ever wanted to tamper with – even at the tender age of nine. I’m glad we never did.”  
  
“There was never any kind of awkwardness between you two?” Lizzie narrowed her eyes accusingly, trying to read through him. “In all those years of being friends you never once had a moment of sweaty palms or tongue-tied nonsense?”  
  
Frank grinned up at the ceiling, “Not even when we discussed sex.”  
  
“Shut up, you didn’t talk about that with her. Girl and guy friends cannot have that conversation with each other. Even Jerry and Elaine from _Seinfeld_ broke down after just agreeing to be friends and then slept together.”  
  
“Who? Never mind. Glore and I never slept together if that’s what you’re getting at.”  
  
“But you slept with other girls.”  
  
Frank’s eyes flickered to Lizzie’s and carefully studied her expression before speaking. “You sound like Daphne right now.”  
  
Lizzie exhaled and found it difficult to take in a new breath of air. Frank spoke Daphne’s name so easily this time and without hesitation. It felt like a moment to pounce on questioning, but she couldn’t make herself do it. Instead she rest her chin on her knee and her eyes cast down at the bedspread. “Oh.”  
  
“Yeah, I did,” he finally answered. “And she with guys.”  
  
“And you, what? Shared tips?”  
  
“Sometimes. Oral sex was a typical topic of discussion at four in the morning while working through a high.”  
  
“You got high.”  
  
“But if you do jump in the sack with this Jesse prick, be sure he wraps up.”  
  
Like that their conversation was over and Frank was up and moving toward her dresser to grab the laptop, insisting she hear a new band he’d scouted out while she was at school. “They’re sort of post punk. Poppy lyrics but a grungy, raw sound. You’ll like ‘em. Listen. Put those little alien cock things you call headphones into your ears.”  
  
Lizzie stared at him stunned, unsure of what she said to have him change the subject so quickly. He’d told her he’d smoked pot before, that was nothing new, but he was very quick to trash their conversation and avoid the question.  
  
Still, Lizzie smiled and agreed to listen to the track he was pointing at on the screen. “If they play a gig here, you have to go and record it for me.”  
  
“Yeah, alright,” she agreed absent-mindedly.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The next day at school Jesse was standing by his locker waiting with a grin. “Good morning, sunshine. I have something that might interest you again.”  
  
Lizzie eyed him skeptically without a word and proceeded to open her locker.  
  
“This is the part where you come in,” he whispered and nudged her arm lightly but gained no response. “No? Alright, I’ll help you out this time: _Good morning, handsome, what did you find?_ ”  
  
Lizzie clenched her jaw, not in anger, but in attempt to hold in laughter as he mocked her voice dramatically. It was an obvious attempt to break the ice with her, but she wouldn’t let it work and Jesse was quick to abandon the charade, albeit with great disappointment.  
  
“Here,” he muttered and stuck a piece of paper in her face. It was far from mint condition – all wrinkled and folded numerous times. The edge was torn and ashes from a cigarette smudged across some of the print.  
  
“Yeah, alright, a flyer, so what?” Lizzie sighed and pressed the paper back against his chest. “What does that have to do with anything?”  
  
Jesse frowned over her disinterest and held the flyer up again triumphantly. “Did you even read this? Lizzie, if we’re going to find out any kind of information then you’re going to have to be more observant than that. Read the front.”  
  
Lizzie gave a frustrated sigh and forced herself to focus. “ _’Pencey Prep’_ , fine. Some band called _‘Pencey Prep’_ once played a gig.”  
  
“Read the back,” Jesse prompted with a knowing grin. He was proud over his find and it showed.  
  
Lizzie grabbed the flyer again to read the back:  
  
 _I’ll pick you up at 8 tonight, Daph. I’m not playing till 10 but have to help set up. Kill time with me?_  
  
“You mentioned some girl named Daphne,” Jesse filled in carefully. “I guess I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I’m assuming this is my uncle’s writing. He played guitar, so maybe he was in a band.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t have to question whose writing it was on the paper, because she recognized it as Frank’s instantly. It was sloppy and rushed, just like the notes he’d written her when she moved in. “I did,” Lizzie agreed. “Mention Daphne, I mean. And I think they probably were boyfriend and girlfriend. _‘Pencey Prep’_.”  
  
“Pretty sick band name, huh?” Jesse grinned. “Gotta be from _‘Catcher in the Rye’_. Have you read it?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie shook her head, her mind mesmerized by the paper as if she were holding an artifact that altered all history. The wrong twist of her hand and she was afraid the paper would burst into flames.  
  
“You should, it’s really good.”  
  
“Where did you find this?”  
  
“My mom’s suitcase. Don’t ask why it’s there, ‘cause I don’t know. That’s just where I found it. She probably has more stuff tucked away somewhere, but I didn’t have enough time before she got home to find anything else. So what kind of stuff did you find at my uncle’s house? I guess that would’ve been my great grandparents’ house. My mom lived there too at some point. Did you find any of her old stuff?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Alright, but what did you find of my uncle’s? Do you have his guitar?”  
  
“Nothing like that.”  
  
Jesse grew silent for a moment and waved to someone calling him from down the hall. “So when can I come over?”  
  
“You can’t come over,” Lizzie handed the flyer back and shoved her backpack into the locker. Her nose wrinkled over the scent that drifted down from the top of her locker and she remembered the mushy grapes she’d chosen to ignore yesterday. On her tiptoes she reached to the back of the top shelf and grabbed hold of the bag. “Ew!”  
  
Jesse was momentarily struck with confusion until he saw the bag of grapes in her hand. “Ew. Throw that out! What’re you keeping ‘em for? That’s not how you make wine, Lizzie!”  
  
Lizzie complied and rushed to the garbage can in order to dispose of the rotting fruit. When she returned Jesse had a smile on his face. Unlike the friendly smile she was given yesterday, this one was malicious. “Did the principal warn you about locking your things up?”  
  
Lizzie felt her heart drop when she saw that she’d left her locker open. Her backpack was unzipped and had obviously been rifled through hastily. “What did you take?”  
  
“Nothing that belongs to you,” he answered easily and held up the polaroid picture of Frank and Daphne.

........................................................................................................................................................................................


	12. Chapter 12

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Counting Stars" - OneRepublic_



............................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie frowned at the sidewalk as if it were the cause for her sour mood. She kicked a rock in her path and watched it skid out onto the street before sucking in a breath of the cool November air. Her attempt at stealing the photograph back from Jesse before the end of the day hadn’t panned out like she’d hoped, and the obnoxious boy still had it in his possession. What more, Lizzie had to come up with a plan to trick him into giving it back or would be forced to risk Frank’s secrecy to the world. The only positive outlook Lizzie had in the moment was the borrowed time she’d scrounged up as a deal. Jesse would have to take her see Ray before she brought him to the house. Jesse had also given her one of his beloved possessions as an honesty pact. In order to get his skateboard back he’d have to trade her the photograph.  
  
Lizzie held the skateboard under her left arm unimpressed, but the curiosity soon nabbed her and she paused long enough at the corner of her street to put the board down. Isaac had never been fond of the skating scene and so didn’t own a board of his own. Nor did Lizzie for that matter and she cautiously placed one foot on the surface of it before pushing off with her other haphazardly. Her arms shot out to her sides to gain balance, but it was a futile attempt and she tripped off the skateboard clumsily. “So stupid,” she shook her head, but couldn’t fully hide the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth.  
  
“Hey, Liz, where’d you get that?” Isaac’s voice came up behind her. He waved goodbye to Trent who was hurrying off across the street to his own house. Lizzie only briefly caught him shouting something about needing to visit his grandmother that afternoon before he disappeared up the driveway to his house.  
  
“Found it,” Lizzie shrugged listlessly. “It’s a piece of junk anyway. Why do people get so crazy over these things? I don’t understand.”  
  
Isaac returned the shrug, uninterested in the discussion.  
  
They reached the rusty gate of their house when Isaac paused and directed his attention up to the attic window. “This house still gives me the creeps sometimes. I swear that curtain was moving again.”  
  
“You have a warped imagination, Ike,” Lizzie dismissed and smiled up at the window. “Then again, maybe Dracula came back from his summer vacation.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Frank was very curious over the skateboard as well when Lizzie walked into her bedroom. His hands reached out automatically to grab it from her and quickly hopped onto it like he knew how to ride. Which it turns out he did.  
  
Lizzie watched her ghostly pal zip around the confined space of the bedroom for a couple minutes before bringing up the question at all. “So…you know how to skate?”  
  
“Yeah,” he giggled. “I used to skate all the time as a kid. Not as much in my later teens, but it’s one of those things that doesn’t leave you, I guess. Like riding a bike or driving a car. I was never really great at skating, but I can keep balance….unlike _some_ people.”  
  
“You saw me try it out?” Lizzie rolled her eyes.  
  
Frank smiled fondly and picked the board back up. “Where’d you get it?”  
  
“I found it.”  
  
“What, just sitting on a library shelf? _Where_ did you find it?”  
  
“In the field at school.”  
  
Frank scoffed and shook his head. “Terrible liar. Whatever, the point is you got it. Come here, I’ll teach you how not to fall on your ass.”  
  
Lizzie felt reluctant, but the sight of Frank holding his hand out to her like a punk Prince Charming was too good to pass up and she was quick to accept the gesture.  
  
“Alright, find your balance,” Frank explained once she was standing on the board.  
  
Lizzie struggled with the simple challenge. She wobbled dangerously and grabbed Frank’s arms with an embarrassed laugh. “I suck at this.”  
  
Frank smiled, “Yeah, but you’ll get it. Just-“ His hands found a resting spot on her hips firmly. “Just try not to move right now. Just stand still.”  
  
Their eyes met for a brief moment of confusion and euphoria before Lizzie’s door swung open unexpectedly, sending both Lizzie and Frank flying backwards to the ground. At this point Lizzie had lost track of how many times she’d already fallen on her ass in New Jersey.  
  
“For fuck sake, Isaac,” she glared accusingly. “You have to knock before you just walk in like that!”  
  
Lizzie followed her brother’s stunned gaze to Frank’s equally startled gaze and then it dawned on Lizzie just why Frank looked so horrified. “Oh. Uh- Isaac…this- This is-“  
  
“Frank,” her ghostly friend filled in quickly and thankfully with more suavity than she could ever muster herself. He held his hand out to Isaac and while the younger boy still looked startled, his expression began to relax.  
  
“Hi,” Isaac nodded and shook Frank’s hand.  
  
“Sorry, man, my hands are always cold it seems. Your sister is really shitty at skateboarding, huh?”  
  
“…Sure… Sorry, who are you?”  
  
“Frank.”  
  
“And-“  
  
“You must’ve been sleeping or something, I went downstairs to let him in,” Lizzie quickly filled in. “He’s a friend of mine. I met him at-“  
  
“The park,” Frank nodded. “I graduated from your high school last year.”  
  
“Oh,” Isaac pieced together the information, though still didn’t look settled or pleased with the young man’s presence in his sister’s bedroom. “Mom called and wants to know if Subway’s alright for dinner, Liz. She’ll be home a bit later tonight and won’t have time to cook anything.”  
  
“Yeah, that sounds great,” Lizzie smiled, maybe a bit too big.  
  
“Ok… And did- What was your name?”  
  
“Frank,” the other teenaged boy answered patiently.  
  
“Right. Frank. Did you want dinner too?”  
  
“Naw, man, thanks, but I’ll be heading out soon.”  
  
“Alright then… I’ll call mom back….” Isaac gave Lizzie an indecisive look before leaving the room to call their mom back on the phone downstairs, leaving both Lizzie and Frank to collapse onto her bed laughing their initial panic away.  
  
“Oh man, your brother totally doesn’t like me,” Frank giggled quietly. “He probably thinks I’m, like, taking advantage of you or something.”  
  
“Yeah, Isaac can be a bit protective like that,” Lizzie shrugged. “I think most brothers are though. You’d probably be too if you had a sister…”  
  
“Right,” Frank’s expression was bittersweet. “Probably.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The next day at school Lizzie wasn’t surprised to find Jesse hanging out by their lockers again. He always seemed to be lingering around the area now, either waiting specifically to talk with her or just hanging around because he knew how much it bugged her.  
  
“Why do you always look ready to pass out?” Lizzie spoke first when she came to a stop beside him.  
  
“Well it sure doesn’t help that I had to _walk_ to school this morning,” he muttered tiredly. “Since someone decided to take my skateboard away.”  
  
Lizzie grinned to herself as she shoved her backpack into her locker. It was like music to her ears hearing Jesse whine about something; unable to get things his way for once. However, Jesse did look extremely tired and as much as Lizzie despised the boy in the moment, she did sort of worry.  
  
“Morning,” Jesse smiled to a teacher walking by before leaning on his side against the lockers to face Lizzie. “I work nights sometimes, if you really wanted to know,” he explained. “Mom works two shitty jobs to make ends meet, but when you’ve got two sons and no support from your ex, life isn’t so simple. So I help out.”  
  
Lizzie blinked in surprise, not at all prepared for the gravitas of his explanation. She was so sure it would be because he was always out partying late, or playing video games, or maybe that he suffered from insomnia, but not because he was helping his mother pay the bills.  
  
“And your mom lets you?” Lizzie asked bluntly, aware of how insensitive the question came out, but unable to backtrack. Instead she blushed and pretended to fuss with items in her locker as if searching for Pandora’s Box to swallow her up.  
  
“Mom doesn’t exactly have a choice,” Jesse muttered and waved to yet another student walking by. Jesse was by no means unpopular. It seemed the entire school had a soft spot for the boy and while Lizzie didn’t know how that happened, she could understand why he was liked. The boy appeared to have all the right reasons to be bitter with the world, yet he found reason to smile and the time to be a rambunctious teenager.  
  
“So what is it you do then?” Lizzie questioned further.  
  
“I strip to ‘Sex Bomb’ by Tom Jones,” Jesse answered instantly but let a joking grin break through. “I work at McDonald’s. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!”  
  
Lizzie gave a small, awkward smile and shrugged. “Could be worse, I guess. Just the one a few blocks over from here?”  
  
“Yeah. You going to come visit me?”  
  
“If I’m hungry enough for the crap McDonald’s serves.”  
  
“Touché,” Jesse stood up straight at the sound of the first bell. “When is it you want to go see Ray? I should probably give him some fair warning.”  
  
Lizzie immediately felt her heart rate pick up simply over the mention of Ray’s name. This was a man who had potential answers to all her questions. This was a man who probably knew Frank when he was living and was willing to talk to her and Jesse about it. “I- Uh- I don’t know.”  
  
“Well, alright, that was helpful,” Jesse snorted and looked at his cell phone. “How about this Saturday? I’m not working.”  
  
“Fine,” Lizzie agreed.  
  
“We’ll have to take the subway, unless you drive.”  
  
“I don’t have a car.”  
  
“Have you taken the Metro in Jersey yet?”  
  
“…No.”  
  
“I’ll pick you up,” Jesse punched something into his cell phone. “Is one-thirty alright with you?”  
  
“Sure.” Lizzie felt childish for her one syllable responses and so took a bolder approach. “You don’t have to pick me up though. I’m not a baby. I’ll meet you wherever we’re going.”  
  
“You sure about that?” Jesse raised his eyebrows in surprise. “It’s an awkward location to get to, you’ll have to transfer twice. I just don’t want you wasting time by getting lost.”  
  
“I won’t get lost!”  
  
Jesse’s expression remained doubtful but he reluctantly agreed and put his phone away. “I’ll talk with Ray and let him know. I have to get to class now though, I’ll see you later.”  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie gave a lazy wave and headed off in the direction of her own first class.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Olivia was happy to hear Lizzie had plans for Saturday afternoon and held nothing back by expressing her interest. “So where are you going? Who are you going with? What’s the plan?”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and poked at the vegetables on her plate, sure they’d been victim of freezer burn. “Jesse and I are going to the mall to meet up with some of his friends. I mentioned Jesse before. He dropped me off at home after that party I went to?”  
  
“Oh yes! Well that’s nice. I’m glad to hear you’re making friends, Izzy.”  
  
“Is Frank going?” Isaac piped up from his spot at the kitchen table.  
  
“Frank?” Olivia raised an eyebrow curiously. “You have a new friend named Frank?”  
  
“He was in her room,” Isaac further explained to their mother. “They were skateboarding.”  
  
“You skateboard now?” Olivia directed at Lizzie with even more curiosity.  
  
“He’s just another friend I met at the park,” Lizzie quickly explained. “I told him about how there used to be this kid named Frank who lived in my room too. Weird, hey?”  
  
Olivia looked skeptical but smiled anyway. “Well, again, I’m happy to hear you’re making friends. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun on Saturday.”  
  
Thankfully that was the end of the conversation before it veered on to Olivia’s bland day at work. Apparently one of her co-workers named Norah had already put the Christmas tree up and it sparked Olivia’s excitement over thoughts of sugar cookies and sparkly ornaments. Or it did until Isaac politely reminded her that Thanksgiving came first, and then it was all about planning a huge Thanksgiving meal.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“I should just show up for dinner one day,” Frank wiggled his eyebrows at Lizzie when she walked into her bedroom following dinner. “I’ve become a highly discussed topic in this household as of late. Who’s that mysterious skater boy in Lizzie’s bedroom? I’m your new gay best friend to your mother and the jerk screwing around with you in your brother’s nightmares.”  
  
“Shut up,” Lizzie laughed. “Besides, you don’t eat, and if my mom-“ Lizzie froze entirely in horror.  
  
“If your mom what, Liz?” Frank giggled. “Are you worried she’d steal me away from you? Curse my dashing good looks!”  
  
Lizzie tried desperately to find a way to change the subject on the spot so not to answer the question. Olivia couldn’t see Frank, because she’d make the connection to the polaroid picture she’d see of him, and then Frank could be put in jeopardy. Isaac had never seen the picture, so wasn’t able to make the connection when he’d seen Frank.  
  
“My mom would think you were a hoodlum,” Lizzie stuck her tongue out playfully. “She’d boot you out of the house.”  
  
Frank winked and sat down by the window beside the dying plant and stuffed animals. “So, Elizabeth, you’re going out with Jesse again, are you? This is starting to sound pretty serious!”  
  
“He’s introducing me to some of his friends, that’s all.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Sure he’s not just tricking you into a date? For all you know, he’s going to take you to the mall and just like one big fat coincidence all his friends have bailed.”  
  
Lizzie gave Frank a hard stare to let him know she was done with the conversation and opened her laptop instead. As she did so her cell phone began to vibrate and Frank swiped it up – a terrible habit Lizzie was getting extremely annoyed with over the past couple weeks.  
  
“I’m getting pretty sick of you lying to me all the time, Lizzie,” Frank narrowed his eyes and tossed the phone onto the bed carelessly before disappearing upstairs to the attic.  
  
Lizzie watched him leave in confusion and picked up her phone to find out what had triggered him off. A text from Jesse lit up the screen: _‘Hey, Lizzie, I talked to Mr. T and he can’t meet with us until 5:30. That still alright with you?’_  
  
She text back confirmation and then spent a solid minute staring at the closet door before deciding to trek up to the attic. She’d only been up to the attic a total of three times now. There wasn’t much up there, and she respected it as Frank’s personal space. Isaac had lost interest following the first time they’d explored the dusty surroundings and so Frank and Lizzie decided it was pretty safe if he wanted to treat it like his escape.  
  
She climbed up the steep, creaky steps until she reached the top and peered around, finding Frank seated by the window looking none too pleased. The word ‘moping’ came to Lizzie’s mind but she wasn’t about to point that out to him. Instead she glanced around the walls to see what he’d changed about the place since she’d last been up.  
  
A couple band posters now adorned the wall – including a _Blink 182_ one she’d found by chance at a local music shop she visited with Isaac one day. He’d also hung up some Christmas lights that Lizzie had warned him dozens of times to only put on when everyone else was asleep. A couple boxes containing his clothes and random possessions were located in the corner next to a pillow and blanket. Frank didn’t sleep, but he did have down time. Lizzie assumed that’s where he’d spend his time at night while she slept.  
  
“Hey,” she said softly to get his attention, although she was sure he’d already heard her coming up the steps.  
  
“Who’s Mr. T?” he muttered. “What are you getting yourself into, Lizzie? It’s a fucking dangerous game you know. It’s easy to get sucked in.”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Lizzie asked worriedly.  
  
“Drugs.”  
  
Lizzie was flabbergasted. “Drugs? You think I’m doing drugs?”  
  
Frank looked over his shoulder at her and frowned, “Well what kind of name is Mr. T? Unless you’re referring to _The A-Team_ – and even then it sound suspicious – it doesn’t sound like you’re going on a little trip to visit Jesse’s grandfather at the senior home.”  
  
“I’m not doing drugs,” was all Lizzie could blurt out, still utterly lost over Frank’s bizarre assumption. “That’s not my scene? It never has been. It’s a stupid cycle that fucks up too many lives, so I’m really not interested.”  
  
Frank gave a bitter laugh but continued to stare out the window, “Well I’m glad you realize that. Forget it, it was stupid of me to jump to conclusions. Go visit Mr. T at the nursing home or whatever. Have fun with Jesse.”  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth to say something; anything, but refrained and climbed back down the stairs instead. Frank was still a huge mystery to her and hopefully Ray would have answers.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Saturday afternoon came up quickly and Lizzie was scrambling around last minute as usual to get her things together. She should have been waiting at the Metro twenty minutes ago, but had stupidly fallen asleep while reading a novel for school that afternoon. Frank knew when she had to be out of the house, but he’d still been a bit bitter the last few days and only grinned as she rushed around the room in a panic.  
  
“Wouldn’t want Jesse to worry now would we?” he smirked.  
  
“Shut up, Frank,” she snapped and was startled by the glare Frank returned before disappearing out of the room.  
  
Lizzie didn’t have time to wonder why as the minutes continued to tick by. “Where’s my wallet?” she complained aloud and rifled through her drawer “Fuck!”  
  
A knock at the door downstairs caught her attention and Lizzie, being the only one home, hurried down the stairs to see who it was. To her alarm she saw Jesse waiting on the other side of the door. “Shit,” she cursed under her breath and set her eyes on Frank who was curiously peeking through the curtains.  
  
“Stop that,” she hissed at him. “Go hide or something!”  
  
“What for?” he narrowed his eyes on her. “Afraid he’s going to get jealous?”  
  
Lizzie clenched her jaw, holding back a slew of curse words she wanted to throw at Frank in the moment. Instead she pulled her shoes on, grabbed her jacket and hurried out the door. “Hi,” she greeted Jesse and was quick to turn him around and push him down the front steps. “Let’s go.”  
  
“Jesus,” Jesse stumbled forward down the last step. “You don’t have to shove me! I wasn’t going to try sneaking in or anything.”  
  
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder at the front window and flipped Frank off as he did a little dance in the window daringly, or just to further piss Lizzie off. Either way, it was not in good natured fun, judging from the look on Frank’s face.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie and Jesse walked in silence for the first couple minutes until it dawned on her: “I was supposed to meet you there. Why’d you show up at my door? How do you know where I live?”  
  
Jesse gave her a look that told her she was an idiot, “I told you my mom used to live there too. I figured you’d get lost or something, so I thought I’d swing by just in case. Guess it was a good thing I did, though I don’t understand the shoving.”  
  
“Yeah… Sorry. Just realized I was really late and wanted to get the hell out of there.”  
  
“…Ok,” Jesse shrugged, thankfully not about to press on the issue. Instead he fished out his cell phone to check the time and sighed. “I think we’ll be fine time-wise anyhow.”  
  
Lizzie gave him a weak smile and glanced up at the sky. Winter was in the very near future and the sky seemed to darken earlier every day. She’d worn her jacket to battle the chilly weather, but Jesse didn’t seemed to care much in his black hoodie. He kept his hands shoved into his jean pockets to keep warm and Lizzie found her eyes scanning over his side profile. Genetics were weird and the more Lizzie searched for them the more similarities she could find of Frank. She’d never seen a picture of Nikki as a teenager, but she imagined Frank and Nikki could easily be identified as siblings. Those traits had evidently made their way down to Jesse.  
  
“So Ray asked that we meet him at a coffee shop near his house,” Jesse breathed after they’d turned the corner away from Lizzie’s street.  
  
“Why not his house?” Lizzie questioned, “Isn’t it going to look a little weird with a grown man and two teenagers drinking coffee together?”  
  
“Call him our crazy uncle or something,” Jesse shrugged with a smile. “He probably figured inviting us to his house would seem creepier than meeting up in a public location.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess so,” Lizzie blushed. “So does he live in a sketchy area of Jersey?”  
  
“Opposite, actually,” Jesse explained. “He’s the CEO of a small computer software business. Not Bill Gates or Steve Jobs famous or anything, but he’s well-off.”  
  
They fell back into an uncomfortable silence Lizzie was terrible with, because she could never seem to think of the right topics to bring up. She was awkward and clunky with figuring individuals out. The only reason she had clicked so quickly with Frank was because of how outgoing _he_ was. With Frank she never had to worry about awkward silence, because it would never last long before he was bringing up another random subject to discuss in detail.  
  
“H-have you always lived in New Jersey?” Lizzie finally asked with a stutter she wanted to facepalm over.  
  
“Yeah,” Jesse answered openly and briefly turned his head to meet her gaze. “I used to live in a different part of Jersey when my parents were still together. Then when they split my mom took full custody of my brother Aaron and I and moved us into the apartment we live in now. This is the area she grew up in so I guess it just seemed like the best option.”  
  
“You don’t see your dad anymore then?”  
  
“Maybe once every two years when he attempts to contact us,” Jesse explained with the roll of his eyes. “It’s kind of hard to believe he wants to bond with us when he refuses to make child support payments, you know? But he still tries every two years and every two years my brother and I ignore him. It’d be nice if he just quit it. What about you? You obviously moved here from somewhere.”  
  
“Dakota,” Lizzie explained. “North Dakota.”  
  
Jesse watched her expectantly, obviously waiting to hear more of the story. Lizzie hesitated, unsure of where she was supposed to begin, and uncertain if she wanted to open up to Jesse. It was only fair if he was willing to speak so freely with her, but it wasn’t like she’d asked him to be an open book.  
  
“My parents got divorced,” she nodded. “I still hear from my dad though. It was a difficult decision who to give custody to, but the judge ruled my mother in the end.”  
  
“Maternal instinct, right?” Jesse grinned. “Isn’t that always the case?”  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Lizzie answered awkwardly. “That’s why. Anyway, he lives in California now.”  
  
“Why’d they split?”  
  
“It’s a really long story,” Lizzie sighed in exhaustion just over the thought of retelling it. “Basically they just started drifting apart until they were constantly bickering at home. Then there was this woman on the side that my dad was seeing. It was a really messed up situation, because my mom was totally aware it was happening – he told her from the start. And I guess they tried to work through it, but… Well you know. Is that why your parents split?”  
  
“My parents never married. I don’t know how they ever got together in the first place. Probably a drunken one night stand and decided they should try dating afterward. Anyway, I happened and they tried to make it work for my sake. It worked out pretty good for a while too! My brother was born five years after me and they stuck together for well over seven years until my dad left the picture. I don’t really know why that is and my mom doesn’t like talking about it. I guess one day he decided to up and leave. Mom couldn’t afford the house so we moved.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lizzie muttered quietly. It wasn’t her fault, but it felt as if someone should apologize for the mistakes made.  
  
“Yeah, you too,” Jesse answered and exhaled slowly. “My mom has this really obnoxious habit of hiding away her feelings. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that I don’t know why my own father left the picture. I hope we find answers tonight about my uncle. At least that’d put one mystery to rest.”  
  
Lizzie struggled to smile, but found her eyes blur with tears over his words instead. She looked off to the side, thankful Jesse hadn’t noticed and blinked them away.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Jesse ended up paying for Lizzie’s Metro ticket considering she hadn’t located her wallet before rushing out of the house. It bothered her immensely that Jesse had to pay, because now she owed him something in return. She wanted so desperately to despise the boy, but it was becoming a very difficult task to accomplish when he did things like hold doors open for her and pay for her ticket. He smiled and joked with her freely, making it an easier task to discuss an array of subjects as they rode the subway to their destination.  
  
Lizzie wasn’t even aware of how quickly the time was passing by until they were standing outside a coffee shop at 5:24. The sky was nearing pitch black now and you could make out stars in the sky, beyond the wispy clouds.  
  
Jesse held the door open for her first and they both took refuge in the warm surroundings and scent of coffee. “Did you want anything?” Jesse asked her as he scanned over the menu.  
  
“Oh, uh, no, thanks,” Lizzie stuttered out stupidly. In fact, she’d really love a cup of coffee, but again she’d gone and lost her wallet at home like a moron.  
  
“You sure?” Jesse glanced over his shoulder at her. “I’ll pay.”  
  
“No thanks, you already had to pay for my ticket.”  
  
“So pay me back when you find your wallet, it’s no big deal,” he explained patiently. “Not like you’re going anywhere while I still have your precious polaroid is it? And it’s not like I’d _let_ you go anywhere while you still have my skateboard. Jay Adams signed that board I’ll have you know.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
Jesse scoffed but didn’t say anything else. Instead he walked up to the counter and ordered two coffees, glancing over his shoulder at Lizzie as if daring her not to tell him how she liked her coffee.  
  
“Double, double,” she mumbled and glanced around the coffee shop. It wasn’t necessarily busy, but there were still people present. A few students studying for exams, an elderly couple who probably had an evening coffee there once every week together and a stressed out looking father who was chugging back his coffee while attempting to multitask working on his laptop and keeping his two children entertained with colouring pages. There was so much to take in that Lizzie almost didn’t noticed the man near the back of the shop that took her breath away, not due to dashing good looks, but because his hair was enough to give him away as being the boy she’d seen in Frank’s old photograph of his friends. The one and only Ray Toro.  
.................................................................................................................................................................


	13. Chapter 13

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Wrecking Ball" - Jessica Lee_



................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie trailed behind Jesse as they approached the table Ray was seated at. For some reason she felt more nervous to be meeting Ray than she had been Nikki, and maybe that was because she already knew for a fact this was the right person they were looking for. With Nikki she had gone in blindly, unsure if the address she had looked up would lead to Frank’s sister.  
  
“Jesse,” Ray gave a bright smile and stood up at the table to greet the newcomers. “Man, you’ve grown since the last time I saw you. When was that? Four or five years ago now?”  
  
“Something like that,” Jesse spoke calmly and shook the older man’s hand. “This is my friend Lizzie I told you about on the phone. She moved into my uncle’s old place and has questions. There’s stuff I want to know too and I was hoping you’d have some answers.”  
  
“Well I’ll try and help you both out as best I can,” Ray nodded and shook Lizzie’s hand. “Hello, Lizzie, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ray.”  
  
“Hello,” Lizzie gave a smile and took a seat next to Jesse, across from Ray who had also bought himself a coffee and had his laptop open on the table. Clearly he’d been doing some kind of work or research while he waited for them to arrive. Lizzie only briefly caught a glimpse of his desktop picture before the screen went black and he closed it. Ray with a woman and a boy who Lizzie assumed must be his wife and son. It looked like some kind of special occasion where in which they were all dressed up in evening attire.  
  
The way Jesse had talked about Ray she’d been worried he’d turn out to be a creepy, desperate man in his forties, seeking out God knows what. Lizzie was therefore pleasantly surprised to find Ray was a very gentle soul and had a friendly disposition. She couldn’t imagine why it was Nikki wanted to block him out of her life.  
  
As if on cue Ray began talking to Jesse. “How’s your mom doing?”  
  
“Alright,” Jesse shrugged. “Some crazy hours at work, but she’s doing ok.”  
  
“I guess you must help out a lot.”  
  
“I try.”  
  
Ray gave Jesse a rather sympathetic look that led Lizzie to believe he knew all about Jesse’s life at home. Ray gave a small nervous twitch and itched the back of his head before speaking up again. “I know your mom doesn’t like handouts or anything but if you guys ever need anything-“  
  
“Yeah, thanks,” Jesse gave him a thumbs up sign lazily. “I’ll let her know you said hi.”  
  
“Please do.”  
  
Lizzie looked back and forth as the two conversed before the attention was suddenly fixed on her. Ray gave her an encouraging smile and Lizzie couldn’t help but return it as she examined his graying head of curls. She was reminded of a mad genius and refrained from giggling over her own ridiculous thoughts.  
  
“So you moved into Frank and Nikki’s grandparents’ house,” he began, unknowingly taking away Lizzie’s voice momentarily. Ray did in fact know Frank. _Had_ known Frank. And was willing to talk about him. She was so used to hearing Frank talk about his friends, it was an odd concept to think of his aged friends talking about him.  
  
“Yeah,” she nodded quickly. “Over the summer. I moved here from North Dakota.”  
  
“Ah,” Ray exclaimed politely. “I’ve been around that area, but never quite made it to North Dakota. How are you liking New Jersey?”  
  
“It’s…” Lizzie searched for the right words but was drawing a blank to sum up her multiple thoughts all at once. Luckily Ray relieved her when he held up a hand.  
  
“Say no more,” he chuckled. “I totally get where you’re coming from. Anyway, I heard you had some questions about Frank? He was a good friend of mine in high school at one point, but we had a bit of a fallout nearing the end of our senior year. Is there anything in particular you wanted to know?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lizzie gave a nervous laugh. “Everything, I guess. Whatever you can recall about him? I told Jesse, I’m living in his old bedroom and, well, some of his things were still there. It was weird and I just kind of want to know who he was. I heard he died in a car accident when he was nineteen.”  
  
Ray’s eyes saddened and he gave a slight nervous twitch again. “Yeah. Nineteen. Man, that was a long time ago… But it still always feels like yesterday. I think that news tore everybody up in our group of friends. I hadn’t talked to him in months, but it still hit hard.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Ray gave a small shrug and nodded in Jesse’s direction. “It hit your mom the worst, for obvious reasons. I was asked not to attend the funeral, but I heard from some mutual friends how much of a wreck she was at the time. Nikki was always a bit edgy and fearless, but when it came to her little brother she was a mother hen. I don’t think Nikki was ever really the same again.”  
  
“You didn’t go to his funeral?” Jesse furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. “Why didn’t they want you around? How bad was the fallout with Frank?”  
  
Ray became awkward over the question and opened his laptop again for no reason other than as a distraction for a moment. “Uh, well I guess it was pretty bad. I think it was more of a misunderstanding than anything else, but I was always a bit of nervous teenager and I didn’t like some of the stuff involved at the parties my group of friends had.”  
  
“We talking about drugs here?” Jesse concluded. “Are you telling me that my uncle was a drug addict?”  
  
Ray hesitated and fiddled with his hands uncomfortably. “I feel wrong talking about this. Can we talk about something a bit…lighter? I have a few pictures I dug up and scanned into my computer that I can show you. You mentioned not having seen many pictures of your uncle and he’s in the ones I found.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t want the subject to change, but she had to let it go, because Ray was starting to have second thoughts and she would rather hear anything she could about Frank than nothing at all. Jesse looked conflicted as well, a confused frown taking over his expression as he watched the older man in front of them search through his laptop.  
  
“Here’s one,” Ray tried to humour them and turned his laptop around. “This was when we were in grade 9, I’m pretty sure. We met that year in band class, and later decided to drop the course because of how lame it was. Frank was more of a guitarist than saxophone player and I couldn’t play the clarinet if my own life depended on it.”  
  
“Was my uncle in a band?” Jesse interrupted Ray’s reminiscent thoughts.  
  
Lizzie found Jesse’s abrupt questions borderline rude and disconcerting, because the more Jesse pushed, the more Lizzie feared Ray would completely clam up on them. Letting the man reminisce in favourite moments was their best shot at more detailed stories than nagging at him for short snippets of specific information.  
  
“Yes, actually,” Ray explained and turned his laptop back around to search for another picture before Lizzie could even study the photograph of Ray and Frank in grade 9 properly. All she really caught was some shorter, frizzy hair and a tattoo-less Frank, not anything like his style now…or later.  
  
“This was one of his band’s gigs,” Ray pointed. “Frank used to get us all into bars because his band was playing a show. It was always a fun time going to his band’s gigs. They were always high energy and filled with misfits the likes of our group. It was a safe haven for us weirdoes and Frank was always on the search for new people to invite to shows. Sometimes people in our group of friends would skip class and hang around downtown handing out flyers to other kids skipping class.”  
  
Lizzie smiled over Ray’s enthused voice. Evidently he enjoyed discussing his past and Lizzie was just as willing to listen, but Jesse continued to frown in determination. It worried Lizzie, because while she hadn’t known Jesse very long, she had never seen him make such a miserable expression. He looked either ready to get up and leave, or snap at Ray, his body rigid and his attention only half focused on the story Ray was telling.  
  
“Sounds like some good times,” Lizzie tried to make up for Jesse’s sudden bitterness. “Do you have more pictures?”  
  
Ray was quick to pull up a few more pictures, allowing Lizzie to click through them at her leisure. There weren’t very many pictures, but somehow that seemed to mean more than if there had been hundreds of the same thing. These pictures were diverse, from various points in time; a party here, a boring day at school there. Lizzie found herself pause longer on a picture of Frank, Daphne, Gloria and Gerard leaned back against a wall outside, smoking cigarettes. Frank must have just cracked a joke because both girls were in the midst of laughing and Gerard had an amused grin on his face while Frank gazed right into the camera with a lazy smile. Lizzie didn’t dare try to take a photograph with Frank, because Frank didn’t have a reflection. Maybe a camera would be different, but she didn’t want to have to deal with the downfall if it failed to work.  
  
“Frank always had witty comebacks,” Ray chuckled, “he could throw anybody back into their place. Sure was a good friend to have.”  
  
“Do you know anything about this? Who’s she?” Jesse suddenly jumped back into the conversation and flicked the polaroid picture of Frank and Daphne across the table. Lizzie had to resist every urge to pocket the priceless treasure before Jesse could get his hands back on it.  
  
Ray studied the picture a moment with a sweet smile, “Sure, this is Frank and Daphne. They started dating in our last year of high school. I remember Daphne started hanging out with the lot of us near the beginning of the school year. She was sort of the misfit.” Ray paused to laugh and shook his head, “I’m contradicting myself here. I mean, she didn’t really fit in with a bunch of misfits like us. She was a bit preppy… A good girl. I wasn’t exactly Mr. Danger, but Daphne was especially sheltered compared to the rest of us.”  
  
“And then she met Frank?” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow as pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. “Is Frank supposed to be ‘Mr. Danger’?”  
  
Ray laughed again and shrugged. “Perhaps. Frank was always kind of the leader of our pact. He liked calling the shots and deciding what it was we’d all be doing that weekend. And it’s not like the rest of us had anything better to do, so we just kind of went along with what he announced. We pulled a lot of stupid stints.”  
  
“…Like…?” Jesse prompted and pulled Ray’s laptop back to go through the pictures himself.  
  
“Oh, just stupid little things,” Ray dismissed.  
  
“Such as?”  
  
Ray gave yet another laugh, but it wasn’t the same good humoured laugh he’d sounded before. This time it was awkward and forced. “Nah, I don’t want to give you any bright ideas. Being Nikki’s son I’m sure you have some pretty clever tricks up your sleeve anyway.”  
  
Lizzie eyed the polaroid in front of Ray as he conversed with Jesse. So sure Jesse wasn’t paying attention she carefully reached out for the picture, but jumped when a hand landed down firmly on top of hers. Jesse leaned forward and met her gaze with narrowed eyes before taking the picture back and pointing at the computer screen. “Who’s this guy? I know that’s Gerard, he’s Mikey’s brother, but I don’t know this guy.”  
  
Ray took a look and nodded his head in acknowledgement. “Bob. He was a pretty tough guy, even in high school. He always meant well though… At least I like to think so.”  
  
“He dead now too?” Jesse asked, and Lizzie was appalled by the boy’s sudden 180° in behaviour. He was being blunt and seemed disconnected from the questions he asked.  
  
“Uh, no,” Ray twitched. “No, but he has landed in jail a few times. Nothing too serious! Mainly bar fights and some theft, but he’s out right now and working at a grocery store. I’ve run into him a few times over the years and he hasn’t really changed much.”  
  
Jesse immediately asked for information on which store Bob worked at and wrote it down on a napkin. Finally Jesse’s demanding attitude of the night paid off and they’d have a new lead on some more information. To Lizzie’s surprise he slid the napkin over to her after writing on it and she paused to read the address and note under it. _‘Monday after school?’_  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie was grateful Jesse had felt just as inclined to pay Bob a visit at the supermarket as she had. His work schedule didn’t permit it from occurring the very next day, but at least Monday after school was close enough. She could easily tell her mom she was going to the library to study and decided Frank’s latest behaviour didn’t earn him any explanation from her.  
  
After their final transfer back home Lizzie expected Jesse to take off in the direction of his home while she meandered toward her own. The wind was starting to pick up and Lizzie felt sure it was about to snow. She opened her mouth to say goodbye, but refrained as Jesse followed her right across the street and paused under a streetlight.  
  
“What’re you doing?”  
  
“Huh?” he muttered and gave his head a quick shake. The whole way back they’d talked minimally – both too caught up in their own thoughts after hearing Ray’s story. Jesse had learned way more than Lizzie had tonight regarding Frank, and she imagined it was a lot to take in all at once. This was a blood relative of his and one Jesse seemed to have ample amounts of respect for, regardless of never having met the man.  
  
“You live that way, don’t you?” Lizzie pointed quickly.  
  
“…Well I’m not letting you walk home alone,” he answered as if it were the dumbest suggestion he’d ever heard. “Besides, it’s not like you live miles away or anything.”  
  
“I don’t need you to walk me home,” Lizzie spoke defensively. Boys always acted like they needed to prove something; that they were the more dominant gender, and as such had to do things like walk girls home at night. Lizzie was perfectly capable of getting herself home and she knew it. Light or dark, the path was the same and she’d beat up anyone who dared to cross her path. Yet Jesse remained stubborn and only narrowed his gaze.  
  
“I didn’t say you needed to be walked home, it’s a friendly gesture! What’s with this whole attitude you’ve got going? Like that first day in the hallway at lunch when we talked. You’re just so…”  
  
“What?” Lizzie dared him to speak more, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. Even the cold wind couldn’t cool her down in the moment as she felt ready to slug Jesse for the rude comment he was about to spew.  
  
“Judgemental,” Jesse surprised her with his word of choice. “You’re judgemental and quick to draw conclusions.  
  
“Can’t say much different about your friends can you?” Lizzie spat and picked up the pace in hopes of leaving Jesse behind. Suavity was never on her side as she briefly tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and silently cursed for looking so klutzy when she was trying to make a statement. Klutzy moments always seemed to happen around Jesse and she wished they would stop.  
  
“I didn’t say they were perfect,” Jesse reasoned carefully. “But you also don’t know them and you don’t know what some of them have been through. Everyone has a story, you know, Lizzie? I’m pretty sure living on this fucked up planet would be far more tolerable if everyone just stopped to realize that.”  
  
Lizzie felt like a third grader being lectured by her teacher for bullying the smallest kid in class. She felt like Jesse was far too young to have such insightful and impactful thoughts, and yet there his words stood in a silence between them.  
  
“Anyway, if you want to walk home on your own then by all means,” he spoke again. “I’ll see you on Monday.”  
  
Jesse turned to leave and Lizzie felt her chest tighten in panic. That was not the way she wanted the night to end after they’d met one of Frank’s friends. She wanted it to end on a high note, like Ray had given them. The night deserved a better ending than her and Jesse arguing once again. Jesse was the only other person who might remotely be feeling the way she was and if she shut him out then who was she supposed to share the memory with?  
  
“Wait,” she piped up and stared at her shoes instead of meeting his gaze. “Fine. You can walk me home… But you still can’t come into the house!”  
  
“I _did_ bring you to see Ray,” he reminded, “but I won’t press on the issue tonight. I need to get home anyway. My mom’s working a night shift and my brother hates being home alone at night.”  
  
“So you’re not going to walk me home now?”  
  
“No, I will,” he gave a hint of a grin, “I’m just sayin’ I’m not coming into the house.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Jesse ran his fingers against the chain-linked fence surrounding Lizzie’s house, and his eyes studied the exterior carefully, pondering what it looked like inside and what kind of memories it held for both his mother and uncle. The lights were on, suggesting Lizzie’s family was home and waiting for her, and he gave a brief chuckle over the Christmas lights in the attic window.  
  
“Gearing up for Christmas already? You know Thanksgiving comes first, right?”  
  
Lizzie was confused until her eyes flickered up to the attic and her jaw clenched in both anger and frustration. Frank was being the most annoying version of himself she’d witnessed yet that day and it pissed her off when she was doing all she could to possibly help him. Sure he didn’t know what she was up to, but it still annoyed her how inconsiderate and blatantly stupid he could be at times.  
  
“I like Christmas,” she shrugged simply. “Must’ve accidentally left them on.”  
  
“They weren’t on earlier,” Jesse explained. “When I picked you up? They weren’t on. I guess your mom must’ve put them on for you?”  
  
“Yeah, or my brother,” Lizzie blushed. “Anyway, I should probably go in before my mom starts worrying why I’m not back yet. It’s already later than I expected. Thanks for getting the meeting with Ray organized.”  
  
“No problem,” he breathed and walked her right to the front steps. Lizzie expected him to turn and leave, but he hesitated and shifted his weight from one leg to the other and glanced all the way up the walkway and down before speaking again. “Ray was really reluctant to talk about some stuff, hey? Having gone to jail hopefully Bob will be less inclined to hold back the gritty details. Like, if Frank was a messed up drug addict, I want to know.”  
  
“It wouldn’t make him a bad person,” Lizzie felt the need to stand up for her ghostly friend as Jesse began building his uncle up to be a villain.  
  
“No… I guess not. It’s just a really messed up situation if the reason he’s dead is because he stupidly overdosed and crashed his car. If he’s dead because he was stupid enough to party hard and drive through a blizzard then…”  
  
“Then he deserved what he got?” Lizzie blinked back tears. “No one deserves that!”  
  
“You don’t know my mother. You don’t know the hell she clearly went through because her younger brother was a fucked up drug abuser who died too young and left her without anyone left to call family. The way Ray talked about it tonight, Frank was the only relevant person in my mom’s life! And he fucked that up for her!”  
  
“There was a reason he drove through that fucking blizzard,” Lizzie all but shouted. “And we don’t know why yet but we will! There was a reason that paper said he and your mother fought before the accident! And if your mom isn’t going to tell you why then we’ll have to find someone who can!”  
  
Jesse looked angry but he took in a breath of air and collected himself, letting his angry expression slip into a neutral gaze. “Sorry.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged with nothing else to say. Instead she stood at the top of the front stairs and looked down at Jesse with empathetic eyes. As much as she sometimes thought she could understand how he was feeling, she couldn’t. Frank was her friend not her relative. Her mother wasn’t living in a worry that her past was going to be brought up each day to remind her of her deceased brother.  
  
Without another word Jesse turned to walk back up the path to the gate when Lizzie called for him to wait a second.  
  
Jesse stood where he was patiently as Lizzie quickly disappeared into the house and back out in under a minute without acknowledging anyone else in the house. She hurried down the steps and froze with a small smile on her lips. She put the skateboard down on the pavement and stepped onto it in the same wobbly manner she had the first time she tried to skate. Regardless, she pushed off with her free foot and sloppily sailed down the sidewalk toward Jesse.  
  
Jesse smiled and held his hand out to help in case she was about to bail, but instead Lizzie came to a stop and stepped off the board.  
  
“You can have your precious Kay Edward’s autographed board back.”  
  
“Jay Adam’s,” Jesse scoffed and swiped the board up to hold. He pointed to a fading, sharpied signature scrawled across the wood and grinned proudly. “Legend.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes, uninterested. “Anyway, you can have it back. But you still owe me the polaroid.”  
  
“When you show me Frank’s belongings.”  
  
“Yeah, I know. Goodnight.”  
  
“Night, Lizzie,” Jesse gave a wave and hopped onto his skateboard to ride back into the night.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie’s bedroom was cold when she walked in. Not the ice box she was becoming accustomed to when Frank was upset, but cold like the weather outside. Her mom hadn’t thought too much of her being a bit late getting back, and had even commented on how the boy who dropped her off had good manners to walk her to the door. The little wink Olivia followed it up with let Lizzie know she assumed they were getting to be more than just friends and Lizzie simply pulled a disgusted face.  
  
Expecting Frank to be in her face rattling off questions, Lizzie was surprised to find her room empty, but her closet door ajar and a faint light creeping down the steep stairs leading to the attic. She took it as an invite and made her way up them cautiously, the nerves building up in her system like the first time she’d explored the dusty room for the first time. She felt an odd fear about seeing Frank; a ghost. And while the thought should be a silly one, considering Frank was now her friend, he was still a dead friend and that had become all too jarring again after her meeting with Ray.  
  
Ray talked about Frank in the past tense, and while everyone did talk about Frank in the past tense, Ray made it seem all too real.  
  
The Christmas lights gave presented an eerie setting of something that should look festive and inviting, but instead gave the impression of something horrific and difficult to look at. Lizzie felt like something was going to pounce at her, but all she found at the top of the stairs was Frank standing by the attic window, staring out at the sky.  
  
Lizzie swallowed, all too aware now that he’d been watching her and Jesse the whole time. “I’m sorry,” was the last thing Lizzie expected him to say first, but it was. He didn’t turn to face her, but his words sounded sad and sincere.  
  
“I guess that was Jesse’s skateboard then,” Frank nodded slowly when Lizzie didn’t acknowledge his apology. “He’ll probably be able to teach you how to skate better than I can. Probably works out a lot better on the pavement anyway… That’s what it’s meant for after all.”  
  
“I think it’s going to snow soon,” Lizzie blurted out and then grimaced over her response. “I mean, you did a good job teaching me inside the house anyway. Besides, I suck at it and don’t really care to learn how to skate.”  
  
“So did you go to the mall?” Frank spoke in a monotone voice, uncaring whether she’d made it to the shopping mall or not. “Did Casanova’s friends show up?”  
  
Lizzie snorted laughter and Frank’s spirits lifted slightly over her reaction. “No?” he glanced over his shoulder to her. “Yes?”  
  
“Why were you acting like such an asshole before?” Lizzie pressed instead and shuffled over to his side. From the view up in the attic the street looked like something from an old horror film at night. The bony branches of the trees swayed in the November wind and the houses looked dark and vacant, save for a couple who still had their lights on like normal human beings on a Saturday night.  
  
“You didn’t answer my question,” he muttered instead.  
  
“And you didn’t answer mine!”  
  
“Fine, so forget it! Christ, is everything a battle with you now, Lizzie? Am I a chore to you? When and why did you stop telling me things?”  
  
Lizzie was taken aback by his confession and shivered from the cold beginning to set into her bones. “I’m done arguing with you,” she spoke stubbornly. “Don’t talk to me until you’re ready to act like a normal human being.”  
  
“Don’t hold your breath,” he spoke harshly. “I’m not exactly human.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	14. Chapter 14

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Wasteland" - Inward Eye_



.................................................................................................................

 

Monday at school dragged by, starting from the very first class and lasting throughout lunch as Lizzie sat on the ledge by the window alone, munching on a bag of potato chips. Jesse had briefly checked in with her at the start of lunch period to make sure they were still going to head to the supermarket after school, but that was it.  
  
It wasn’t a guarantee they would find Bob that afternoon because all Ray was able to tell them was where Bob worked, but he didn’t exactly carry around the man’s work schedule with him.  
  
Lizzie crunched down loudly on a chip and scrolled through the playlist on her iPod for the right music to fit her mood. As she did so she recalled the conversation she had with Frank regarding Bob. Frank had told her that he thought she and the blond haired boy in the photograph would have hit it off. Of course that was when Bob had been her age. Not a man in his forties who had done jail time and was currently on probation. Ray had warned them he had a tough exterior, but wasn’t at all dangerous or as mean as he’d like you to believe. He’d done some petty crimes and gotten into some bar fights, but nothing that alarmed Lizzie or Jesse to the point of wanting to end their search.  
  
“Lizzie,” Jesse’s voice interrupted her thoughts about fifteen minutes into lunch. He was sailing down the hallway on his skateboard as usual and Lizzie pondered what he was going to do when it snowed. He came to a halt and plunked down on the ledge next to her. “Why don’t you come down for lunch in the cafeteria today?”  
  
Lizzie gave him an incredulous look, “Seriously? I think we’ve been through this, I don’t like your friends and they don’t like me either. So the feeling is mutual and I’m fine with leaving it at that.”  
  
Jesse huffed and blew his bangs out of his eyes in the process. A silence lingered between them as Jesse peered all the way down to the opposite side of the hall in the similar manner he had when Lizzie had first conversed with him. “I’m still concerned about this ledge manner you know,” he teased and nudged her leg. “I should start a petition to have one added.”  
  
“You’re weird.”  
  
“Well that’s not about to change,” he shrugged and leaned forward to see what she was looking at in her notebook. “Homework?”  
  
Lizzie weakly smiled as Jesse’s actions brought Frank to mind. It’d be just like Frank to be nosey and try to sneak a glance at what she was up to. “Sort of. I’m just making a list of questions we should ask Bob if we meet him today.”  
  
“That’s very formal of you, Lizzie,” Jesse nodded and got up again. “I’ll meet you here at the end of the day. Right now I’m going downstairs to the cafeteria, because that’s what most people tend to do at lunch… Sure you don’t want to give those asshole friends of mine a second shot?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie frowned stubbornly.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was a few too many blocks to walk to the supermarket they’d need to get to, so Lizzie and Jesse hopped a bus after school, backpacks in hand, and sat next to each other for the ride. As they did Lizzie’s mind was going into overdrive – not with thoughts of meeting Bob, but with Frank’s presence yesterday. Or lack of presence, considering she hadn’t seen him. Her room remained set at the cool temperature she’d returned to on Saturday night, but it only remained in her room, so she assumed Frank was there, but either invisible or locked up in the attic. His MP3 sat abandoned on her dresser, next to her laptop, so she didn’t know what it was he did all day. It made her wonder what it was he did before she even moved in. Did he just sit and do nothing?  
  
Jesse tugged at her arm roughly and nodded in the direction of the exit. “C’mon, we’re going to miss the stop!”  
  
Lizzie followed quickly and they ended up on a random street Lizzie was unfamiliar with. It was busy with people getting off work and students wandering home from school, tired and just plain sick of mundane routines. It was alarming to Lizzie who foresaw the same disheartening expression on her own face in the near future. You grow up with enormous dreams only to fall into the same routine as everyone around you.  
  
“It’s this way, I think,” Jesse pointed and Lizzie studied his face for the miserable expression she saw on other passerby’s faces, but Jesse’s youthful face was bright and excited. He didn’t look like someone who would ever get caught in the trap of the mundane, and even if he did Lizzie was almost positive he’d be able to find something great about being so ‘normal’, because that’s just what Jesse did. That’s how he chose to live his life.  
  
The supermarket wasn’t overrun, but it was starting to pick up the pace with middle-aged men and women shopping around quickly in order to get home, cook dinner and fall into their evening cycle.  
  
The smell of produce filled Lizzie’s nose as they entered the building and it dawned on her right then that they didn’t have a plan as to how to track Bob down. Unlike meeting up with Ray, Bob had no idea they were coming to see him, or if he would even be willing to talk with them. They would be no one at all to him – just a couple young punks possibly looking to start trouble.  
  
“So what do we do?” Lizzie asked after a minute of wandering up and down the produce aisles.  
  
“I don’t know,” Jesse muttered around a mouthful of grapes he’d just helped himself to.  
  
“Jesse! You can’t just take food like that! That’s stealing!”  
  
“I don’t think they’ll throw me in the cooler for taking a handful of grapes,” he reasoned and grabbed a few more. “I didn’t eat much for lunch, I’m starving!”  
  
“Stop it,” Lizzie frowned and pried the fruit out of his hand. “You’re as bad as a three year old!”  
  
Jesse grinned and moved around her. “Let’s look down the aisles first before we ask anyone anything. We’ll have to try and remember what he looked like in that picture Ray showed us, because I’ve never met the guy before. I heard his name come up in conversation a couple times in the past, but it was real casual and dismissive; just talk about how he was arrested again.”  
  
They strolled up and down the aisles, earning a few nervous glances from workers who eyed their backpacks with uncertainty, probably under the assumption they were there to pack and run.  
  
“Aisle three, ma’am,” A lazy voice came from one of the last aisles. “Yeah, you’re welcome… Prissy bitch.”  
  
Lizzie was startled by the uttered comment but realized the lady who walked by them with her fur coat and manicured nails hadn’t heard the insult. Lizzie was going to make a remark to Jesse about how stupid the coat looked on the lady, but Jesse beat her to speaking first.  
  
“Isn’t that him?” he whispered.  
  
Lizzie’s eyed grew wide over the sight of the bearded, blond man in front of them. Sporting a buzz-cut and grumpy looking expression as he used a push broom across the tiled floor, Lizzie was sure they’d found who they were looking for.  
  
“You little shits better not be thinking of swiping anything,” he startled them with his sudden comment. He didn’t look at them when he spoke, nor did he pause to give them a glance following his words. Instead he turned around to continue sweeping the floor.  
  
“He seems nice,” Jesse smiled widely at Lizzie.  
  
Lizzie snorted a small laugh and pulled Jesse into a brisk walk so they could catch up with Bob. “Excuse me,” Lizzie piped up in the most polite and innocent voice she could fathom. “I-“  
  
“What is it you want?” Bob sighed heavily and leaned on his broom to look at her.  
  
“We were told we could find Bob here. We were told to say that Ray Toro sent us.”  
  
“Ray sent you?” Bob’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Ray Toro sent two little shitheads to the supermarket to track me down. What is it you want?”  
  
Jesse opened his mouth to speak at the same time the intercom blared a clean-up on aisle seven.  
  
“Fuck sake,” Bob muttered and glanced around. “I’m taking a smoke break now anyway. If you still plan on blabbering to me then it’ll have to be outside.”  
  
He didn’t wait to see if they were going to follow. The bearded man simply took off through the double doors leading to the back of the store where only staff was permitted. Lizzie eyed Jesse with uncertainty and he shrugged in return.  
  
“Well I guess I’m already going to jail for eating a handful of grapes, soooo,” he pushed the doors open and disappeared inside.  
  
Lizzie glanced around for anyone watching her, but found other people had better things to do than worry about what some seventeen year old girl was doing standing in front of a doorway. She quickly rushed through and bumped right into Jesse who laughed over her skittishness.  
  
Bob eyed them from across the large room and even from far away Lizzie could sense an annoyed sigh and lack of motivation to deal with whatever it was they were going to bring up. He shuffled out the back doors to the alleyway and Lizzie didn’t make any kind of movement until the door had closed with a loud bang that clashed with the silence inside the building.  
  
The action bothered Lizzie immensely and she was storming toward the exit before Jesse could think up another witty comment. The door wasn’t the lightest thing in the world but she shoved it open with a bang and stared angrily at the bearded man leaned back against the wall outside smoking a cigarette listlessly. Evidently Lizzie hadn’t done enough to startle him.  
  
“What’s your problem, kid?” Bob muttered and blew smoke off to the side.  
  
“We came here to talk about my uncle,” Jesse filled in when Lizzie narrowed her eyes. She didn’t like being called a ‘kid’ in the best of times and the way Bob used it so degradingly made her blood boil.  
  
“What is your problem?” Lizzie cut into the conversation before Bob could answer Jesse.  
  
Bob shifted his gaze to her lazily and then back to Jesse as if she hadn’t spoken a word. “Yeah and that means anything to me because…? Did I smash his face against a wall or something? Who’s your uncle?”  
  
“Frank.”  
  
Bob’s entire facial expression changed with Jesse’s answer. His eyebrows lifted in surprise and his eyes held a saddened look to them. “Frankie?” his voice even softened up and all at once Lizzie knew what Ray meant by Bob’s tough outer demeanour. “You’re Frankie’s nephew?”  
  
“It’s what I’ve been told,” Jesse confirmed.  
  
“So you’re Nikki’s brat,” Bob put one and one together as he studied Jesse’s face a bit more closely.  
  
“Well I’m one of ‘em. She has two. You know my mom?”  
  
“I did. What’s she up to these days? She ever make it to California?”  
  
Jesse’s brow crinkled in confusion, “Uh, no? Was she going there?”  
  
“Ah fuck,” Bob sighed sadly. “Jersey dragged her down too, huh? Too bad. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, she was never the same after Frankie kicked the bucket in that accident. Still, we were all rooting for her. A lot of wasted potential there.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Jesse frowned in offense. “That’s my mother you’re talking about, man!”  
  
“Hey, cool it, runt,” Bob gave a chuckle. “Inherited that Iero blood alright, picked up on your uncle’s hot temper. He’d be proud.”  
  
The comment was oddly sentimental and sweet, but Lizzie still didn’t like the way Bob spoke so condescendingly; like scolding two little grade six students who’d tried to scale a fence into the playground after hours.  
  
“So what is it you two want from me?” Bob followed his comment up with next. He blew smoke off to the side impatiently and Lizzie couldn’t understand why the hell Frank would have ever thought she and this man could have been compatible together in high school.  
  
“We want to know all the stuff Ray wouldn’t tell us,” Lizzie spoke boldly, earning a laugh from Jesse who quickly shut up when she cast him a death glare.  
  
“Sorry,” he mouthed and eyed Bob instead.  
  
Bob, on the other hand, simply looked confused. “Tell you what?”  
  
“Exactly,” Jesse pointed out. “Nothing.”  
  
“Christ, five nights in jail couldn’t even possess the amount of torture this conversation is producing,” Bob complained. “Get to the goddamn point already! I’m sure Nikki didn’t raise her son to talk in fucking riddles.”  
  
Jesse opened his mouth to argue, but Lizzie was quicker. “Ray talked about how you and your friends in high school would pull stupid pranks, but he wouldn’t tell us what kind of pranks or what the parties were really like.”  
  
Bob’s mood seemed to lighten after the first question was finally out in the open and he didn’t hesitate with a response. Instead he spoke steadily and with very few pauses, as if he’d rehearsed lines in a mirror for the purpose of answering Lizzie’s question.  
  
“Ray is a fucking pussy,” he gave a laugh first. “Man, Ray wouldn’t even skip class in high school he was so chicken shit. Give that kid a couple beers though he’d loosen up. Our biggest prank was breaking into the school, but I guess that scatterbrain didn’t mention it.”  
  
“You broke into the school?” Jesse asked excitedly. “Holy shit! What for? What did you guys do?”  
  
“Why would you want to break into the school?” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “That’s such a stupid idea.”  
  
Bob frowned at Lizzie and carried on the rest of the conversation with Jesse alone, as if she couldn’t hear them. “Just to mess around, you know? Banged up some lockers, smashed some windows, wrote on the walls, flooded the bathrooms, burned some files; just had a night of fun. No one anticipated we’d get caught though.”  
  
“What happened?” Jesse’s eyes grew wide.  
  
“Locker Girl took the wrap and then high-tailed it out of the state with Frankie, Gee and Glore.”  
  
“Who’s Locker Girl?”  
  
“Daphne,” Lizzie answered for Bob. “Right?”  
  
Bob flicked his cigarette to the pavement, “Yeah. Shit. Last time I ever even saw Daphne I called her ‘Locker Girl’.”  
  
“Why would you call her ‘Locker Girl’? That’s such a stupid nickname!”  
  
“Hey, who the hell are you anyway?” Bob narrowed his gaze accusingly. “Bratty little girl shows up with Nikki’s son at my work and starts judging _me_? I called her ‘Locker Girl’ because she could never open her locker. What else are you going to call a girl who can’t open her locker?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” Lizzie scoffed, “maybe her _name_?”  
  
“Well aren’t you original! I hope to God you’re not dating this one, son” he nudged Jesse’s arm.  
  
Lizzie grit her teeth but refrained from saying anything else in the moment. Instead she left it up to Jesse for the time being.  
  
“Why did they have to leave for California?” Jesse asked next.  
  
“Ah, man, a lot of reasons,” Bob waved him off. “There was this whole thing with Gloria’s parents wanting her to make better friends, so they were going to send her away for school or something. So then you’ve got Gerard with his knickers in a twist because he’d never live life without Gloria, and so they wanted to run away together. And then Frank couldn’t shake this gang from when he dealt, so he got Daph to run away with him and those other pea-brains.”  
  
“He dealt drugs?” Jesse nodded in confirmation and Lizzie wanted so desperately to remind him of the conversation they’d had the other night after speaking with Ray.  
  
“Yeah,” Bob confirmed and sucked in a breath of air. “Something he kind of fell into for cash and got screwed over by, you know? He gave it up for Daphne, but the past has a way of haunting you, and Frank felt the only way anyone could be remotely safe was if he left Jersey. I don’t know what happened after they left. All I know is that they eventually came back without Daphne and a few months later Frank was dead.”  
  
Lizzie listened to Bob’s voice hallow out at the end of his conversation. He spoke so blatantly, but he wasn’t fooling her. Frank was Bob’s friend just as he was Ray’s, and Ray hadn’t hid his sadness over Frank dying so young.  
  
“So he just packed up and left my mom?” Jesse suddenly lashed out in anger. “Just assumed these assholes after him wouldn’t stop by the apartment to check up on him and find my mom instead?”  
  
“Hey, man, cool it,” Bob spoke calmly as he held a hand up. “Your mom’s tough as nails. Frank did worry about it, but Nikki probably gave him some little pep talk and convinced him to go anyway. In fact, I know she must have, because he was worried about all of us left behind, not just your mom. You’re starting to sound like Ray. Ray jumped ship when we started planning things out to help Frank, and that pissed everyone off, because if it had been Ray in Frank’s place, Frank would have done anything to help. Because that’s loyalty; that’s friendship.  
  
“Yeah, well I didn’t know Frank,” Jesse muttered.  
  
“Alright, fine, so take my word or don’t take my word, but your uncle was a good person, and it took a lot of guts for him to leave Nikki. And it took Nikki a lot of guts to tell him to go. So smarten up your act and respect your family, kid.”  
  
Jesse fell silent and Lizzie blinked slowly over the information. “You said Daphne didn’t come back with them? Where did she go?”  
  
“I heard she moved back to New York with her family, but I don’t know too much about when or why. I wasn’t on that trip the four of ‘em took, so if you want to know more about that you’d have to get in contact with one of them. Otherwise you’ve reached a dead end because that’s all the storytelling I’m qualified for, children. Now if you’ll please piss off, I’ve got some sweeping to do on aisle seven.”  
  
Bob wasted no time heading toward the door; no goodbye or good luck, just a quick nod and that was that.  
  
“Wait,” Lizzie called after him as one more question came to mind. “Bob, do you know where Frank was going during that blizzard the night he…”  
  
“Croaked?” Bob cocked an eyebrow. “Nope. No idea. We were all at Nikki’s for a late Christmas party and I don’t even remember him leaving.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The sky was already beginning to dim as Jesse and Lizzie walked back out the front doors of the building. Again Jesse seemed caught up in his own thoughts as Lizzie eyed the café just across the street from them and recalled the ten dollar bill in her pocket.  
  
“Do you remember how to get home from here?” Jesse asked and checked the time on his phone. “I have work in half an hour and if you’re ok getting back I’ll just hop a bus from here to McDick’s.”  
  
“Uh, yeah, I think I’m alright from here,” Lizzie quickly shook away thoughts of getting coffee to debrief. Instead she surveyed her surroundings for bus stops and traffic. “Just cross the street and grab a bus back, right?”  
  
“Yeah, but make sure you grab a number seventeen. It’ll take you right by the school.”  
  
Lizzie processed the information in her head before nodding in confirmation that she understood the directions and had a visual in her head of which way to go. Jesse pulled the hood on his hoodie up and hopped onto his skateboard, ready to go when Lizzie grabbed hold of his arm to stop him.  
  
“I think you should take all of what Bob said with a grain of salt… About respecting your family and all that junk. I don’t think you disrespect your mom or anything.”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Jesse shrugged. “Just feels pretty messed up having to learn all this stuff from other people. It should be my mom explaining these things to me when I ask. It should be _Frank_ explaining these things to me, because he should still be around to talk to. I like to think he was this really cool guy, and everyone can tell me he was, but, really, coolness is totally subjective. Sucks he’s not still around to hang out with and bother for guitar lessons.”  
  
Lizzie had never felt so selfish over keeping Frank a secret before. Not even when Nikki broke down into panicked tears over their very first encounter. Jesse never met Frank, but he wanted so desperately to put him on this pedestal and admire him as a role model. He felt conflicted with all the information he’d been given in the last few days. Frank was great, but he was bad. He was smart but he was stupid. He was funny but he was sad. Lizzie didn’t know the darker sides of Frank told in the stories. She understood they had to exist, and on the days where her house was cold she knew must be reminiscent of those dark memories he held, but all in all Frank was light and exciting. She wished Jesse had the chance to know that version of Frank, instead of relying on all the mixed signals he was getting from the visits with Frank’s friends.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she found herself muttering softly.  
  
“Not your fault,” Jesse gave a laugh and lightly shoved her shoulder. “I’ll catch you later, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie stood watching after him until he was swallowed up in the gray lifestyle of passing pedestrians.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie made it home for dinner and made up a research paper she was working on at the library, dodging specific questions about the topic until at last dinner was over and she took off to her room anxiously.  
  
Shutting herself into her bedroom quickly she was startled to turn around and find Frank lying on her bed reading a magazine. The look on his face was equally as startled as hers and she broke out into a fit of giggles.  
  
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked curiously and dropped the magazine onto the floor.  
  
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Just… I wanted to see you I guess.”  
  
“My, my, Lizzie, are you blushing?” Frank grinned teasingly and held an arm open to her. “Gimme a fucking hug already. I’m bored of this stupid argument we’ve had going on.”  
  
Lizzie accepted the hug but felt uncertain over Frank’s sudden change in attitude. “It still bothers me that I don’t know why you were so upset before,” she muttered. “Was it something I did?”  
  
“Forget it, please, Liz?”  
  
“No, Frankie, I can’t just forget it, I’m sorry. What was going on with you?”  
  
Frank heaved a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. Lizzie wasn’t completely sure, but if she had to guess, she’s say he felt embarrassed. “You’ve been going out a lot lately with this Jesse kid.”  
  
“Well you said-“  
  
“Yeah, I know what I said, but saying something and feeling are two different things. I was used to being alone. Time just sort of slipped by without me knowing, but now you live here and I just kind of spend time waiting for you to get back when you go out. And you go out with this sleazy kid who-“  
  
“Are you jealous?” Lizzie’s eyes grew wide in surprise. “You’re jealous of Jesse!”  
  
Frank sighed and sat up on the bed to finish the conversation. “I’m not jealous of you having a thing for him. I’m jealous because he gets to spend all that time with you, and I’m stuck here waiting for you to get back. It’s not fair, because a few weeks ago this was a mutual feeling. You went out begrudgingly because you wanted to be here, and I felt the same way. Now you don’t seem to give a shit that I have to sit here waiting for you. You get home from school, barely say hello, do your homework, eat dinner, spend a couple hours on the computer and go to bed. We used to have fun, what happened? Was I a new toy to you? The novelty has worn off so I’m shelved and forgotten?”  
  
“Frankie!”  
  
“Well how else am I supposed to feel? I’m so sick and tired of having to wait around. I want out of this! Whatever this half living is, I want out of it!”  
  
“So let me help you,” Lizzie all but shouted and came to a sudden pause as her words sunk into her own head. She was offering to help Frank move on into the unknown. Essentially that was what she’d been trying to do all along by tracking down information on him, but now that the offer was out in the open it felt different. It felt final, and Lizzie held her breath waiting for him to respond.  
  
“How are you going to help me?” Frank mumbled. For a ghost that didn’t tire, he looked exhausted and on the verge of being sick.  
  
Lizzie hesitated for a full minute and chipped at her nail polish in thought of what it was she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. “There has to be a reason you’re a ghost,” Lizzie explained. “If you’d just tell me more about your life maybe I can help you figure out what needs to happen.”  
  
“What if I don’t want to tell you?” Frank countered gently.  
  
“Then that just makes my job more difficult and extends your stay.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	15. Chapter 15

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Headphones" - Hedley_
  * _"Write Your Story" - Francesca Battistelli_



...........................................................................................................................

 

The snow came the next day, along with an icy temperature that had Lizzie in a miserable mood the moment she looked out the window. Like the action would possess magical powers she held her middle finger up against the glass of the window of her room before abruptly pulling the curtains shut.  
  
The familiar giggle coming from behind let her know Frank was watching and she turned around to find him standing in the middle of the room with a smile on his face. “You sure showed the weather! I think it just picked up,” he nodded toward the window and Lizzie pulled the curtain back an inch to peek outside.  
  
“What even?!” she shouted over the aggressive wind that surged through the branches of trees as if they really had angered over Lizzie’s rude salute. Her voice rang out so loudly it summoned her brother to the bedroom door.  
  
“Lizzie, what’s going on?” Isaac knocked at the door lazily and not quite awake yet.  
  
“It’s snowing,” she continued to shout. “Why did we move here?!”  
  
“…Snows more in North Dakota, loser.”  
  
“Don’t argue with me right now, Ike, this is bullshit!”  
  
When there was no response Frank laughed again and picked up Lizzie’s school notebook to flip through casually. “Are you always this much of a spaz when it snows? Hey, what’s this?” he pointed to a little doodle in the corner of her page of a terrible rendition of a monkey. “Do you always draw monkeys when you should be studying?” Tsking he grabbed for a pen off her nightstand and sat on the ledge by her window.  
  
“What’re you doing?” she smiled and took a seat next to him. Since their honest chat last night the heavy silence had lifted and somehow the air around her felt easier to breathe. Frank was smiling and laughing again, but the difficult conversation had still come to an abrupt end, leaving Lizzie unsure of how fake Frank’s cheery disposition was.  
  
“Writing you a note, Einstein. The school system really has failed you, huh? Doesn’t even know what a pen and paper are.”  
  
Narrowing her eyes teasingly Lizzie watched the way Frank chewed on his lip ring as he wrote in her book. His hand moved quickly across the paper, desperately trying to keep up with his thoughts and Lizzie hoped whatever he wrote would still be legible.  
  
“What’d you write?” she quickly reached for the notebook once he stopped.  
  
“Nuh-uh,” Frank pulled the book back with a laugh and closed it. “Read it at school where you’re supposed to disregard those math solutions on the chalkboard. Not like they’ll be of any help on exams or anything.”  
  
Lizzie’s hands anxiously wanted to ignore his words and flip to the page he’d written on, but after just getting back on the right track with him that probably wouldn’t be the greatest idea. Instead she stuffed the notebook into her backpack and dragged it onto the floor.  
  
“Are you going out after school again?” Frank asked from his same position at the window where he was now poking at the plant, wondering how long it had gone without water. “Did you water this thing?”  
  
“Uh, no, I don’t think so… And no, I definitely didn’t. Why?”  
  
“Good. Let’s do something tonight, huh? And, because it’s dry as fuck, like my grandma’s chicken before she started drowning it in gravy and I stopped eating meat entirely.”  
  
Lizzie snorted laughter and shrugged. “So water it for me. What are we going to do tonight?”  
  
“Have sexy time,” he answered instantly with a wiseass smirk that told Lizzie he’d been anticipating that exact question so had equipped himself with an obscene response. He immediately followed it up with a crude gesture and Lizzie turned her back on him with the roll of her eyes.  
  
“Yeah, alright, I’m gonna go get ready now.”  
  
“Ready for school or ready for me?” he spoke with mock seduction lacing his tone.  
  
Lizzie didn’t bother answering as she exited the room, but not without the dorkiest smile on her face.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Even though she was in a rush for work Olivia still drove her kids to school so they wouldn’t have to face the snowy hell until that afternoon. Lizzie hadn’t anticipated so much snow so quickly and early in Jersey, but the weather had been having frequent meltdowns in recent years, so it couldn’t be too surprising for the lifelong inhabitants of the state.  
  
“Have a good day at school,” Olivia smiled to her kids after coming to a stop in front of the building. “I don’t have anything in mind for dinner tonight, so if you have any ideas give me a call or send me a text.”  
  
“I could go for burgers,” Isaac answered from the backseat as he gathered his belongings and braced himself for the gust of wind and snow as soon as he got the car door open. “Let’s just get McDonald’s.”  
  
“You poor kids, what kind of mother am I being letting you eat junk food so often?”  
  
“Uh, an awesome one?” Isaac muttered and leaned forward to shove Lizzie’s arm. “C’mon, agree with me here, I want McDonald’s for dinner.”  
  
Lizzie stuck her tongue out in her usual stubborn manner, letting her brother know she wasn’t going to side with him…just because. Lizzie was never the biggest fan of McDonald’s, but at least it sounded better than eating whatever concoction they could scrounge up in the fridge last minute.  
  
“There’s one just a few blocks over isn’t there?” Olivia tapped a finger against her lips in thought. “We could do that, and tomorrow I promise I’ll whip up something nutritious and delicious in the kitchen. I’ll just have to swing by the grocery store on our way back home.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged, indifferent over the decision while Isaac whooped in triumph. She bid goodbye to her mom and forced her door open against the blast of wind daring her to battle. Well the wind had another thing coming and Lizzie slipped out before letting the door be slammed shut by the unforgiving waves of winter.  
  
“This is batshit crazy,” Isaac shouted over the howling gusts.  
  
“Someone must’ve pissed in Mother Nature’s apple juice,” Lizzie agreed loudly as they hurried toward the front doors of the school.  
  
“Why would Mother Nature drink apple juice?” Isaac argued. “You freak.”  
  
“Well why the fuck not? She made apples didn’t she? They’re part of nature!”  
  
“How are you graduating this year?”  
  
Lizzie gave a laugh and let the warmth of the school wash over her. “Finally. That was the longest twenty second walk of my life. I’ll see you later.”  
  
“McDick’s tonight,” Isaac whooped again gleefully and Lizzie was going to make a witty remark until she realized which McDonald’s Olivia had in mind.  
  
“Shit,” she muttered under her breath and began the trek up the stairs to her locker. If Jesse was working her mom was sure to embarrass her in one form or another. Lizzie couldn’t stand being served by people she knew, even by her own friends. Back home she’d avoid certain registers in hopes of dodging someone she knew from school having to scan her purchases. Granted Jesse wouldn’t have to handle her undergarments or feminine products, but he’d still need to service them and that alone was enough to make Lizzie feel flushed.  
  
Still, there was a light at the end of the tunnel; Jesse might be off that night, and as the day went on without any sign of him around, Lizzie’s feeling of dread lightened up.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was nearly three quarters of the way through the day when Lizzie remembered Frank writing in her notebook that morning. During a spare she sat down on the same ledge she did at lunch and flipped through her notebook until she found the scrawled writing. She expected to find an obscene doodle or a terrible joke, but what she found instead startled her.  
  
 _My friends and I always spent our spares and lunches upstairs at the end of the hall by this ledge next to the window. Is it still there? Daphne and I first met there when she approached me one morning wanting music advice. She was a nerd, but she was my nerd. She could be so awkward and clumsy – a lot like you. But she was beautiful and sweet – a lot like you. Be patient with me, Liz. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that being locked away for so many years alone has given me too much time to think. Have a great day at school.  
  
\- Spazzy face._  
  
Lizzie felt out of breath and took in her surroundings with a completely different perspective than she had when choosing to sit down there a minute earlier. Years ago Frank and his best friends all sat in the same spot. Ray with his bubbly demeanour and Bob with his perpetual need to be a grump. Maybe Gerard and Gloria sat in the corner giggling over whispered thoughts, and maybe Mikey ran around hitting on all the passing girls. Lizzie didn’t know if these things happened or not, but the more she thought about it the bigger her smile grew imagining them around her. If she concentrated hard enough she could almost hear Frank’s girly sounding giggles and Bob’s snarky remarks to Ray about video games.  
  
Lizzie smiled weakly and hugged the notebook to her chest before staring out the window at the falling snow.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………........  
  
Unfortunately for Isaac and Lizzie, going to McDonald’s for dinner didn’t mean Olivia got out of work any sooner, and they were forced to walk through the miniature storm along with Trent, who had been equally as unlucky hitching a ride home.  
  
“I bet dad’s just lying out on the beach right now in California laughing,” Isaac complained. “When are we going to be visiting dear old dad anyway?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lizzie sniffed from the cold and began to dig around in her backpack for her keys. “I just want to get out of this shitty weather.”  
  
Trent trudged his way across the street after lamely saluting Isaac without a word.  
  
“- The hell was that about?” Lizzie questioned and almost dropped the house keys onto the pavement because her hands were so cold.  
  
“Beats me, Trent’s kind of weird,” Isaac answered and grabbed the keys out of his sister’s hand. “Gimme those! You’re so useless sometimes!”  
  
Isaac quickly unlocked the front door and Lizzie swiftly kicked him in the ass for payback.  
  
Both teenagers stumbled into the hallway and were quick to drop their backpacks onto the floor. Isaac immediately went to set up one of his many video games on the television and Lizzie headed upstairs, rubbing at her frozen nose the whole way.  
  
“Zombies or Frankenstein?” Frank asked as soon as she walked into her bedroom. He stood on her bed triumphantly and held a DVD in each hand. “Both? That’s what I was thinking. Wow, you look cold.”  
  
“You think?” Lizzie frowned and moved toward her closet to grab a sweater. “The wind is harsh.”  
  
“Yeah, it looks pretty bad. You’ll warm up quick. I’ll get the laptop and you crawl under the covers. We’ll have a horror marathon.”  
  
“That’s always what we watch though,” Lizzie whined. “Horror, horror and more horror. Why can’t we ever watch a cute romance movie or something.”  
  
“Hey, what the hell do you call _The Bride of Frankenstein_?”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and pulled her sweater on. “I got your note, by the way. I sort of sit on that ledge you were talking about every day at school. Isn’t that weird? And…thanks. What you said was really sweet.”  
  
Frank gave a small nod and smiled. “There were a lot of good times had in that hallway. Many a debate about vampires and zombies. Speaking of zombies… Marathon. Let’s go!”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“Let’s just go through the drive-thru,” Lizzie repeated for about the eighth time that evening.  
  
“Elizabeth, enough,” Olivia sighed in annoyance. “We’re going to eat a nice dinner together. Greasy trash food or not, this is still our family time. Deal with it.”  
  
Isaac snickered from the backseat and Lizzie shot him a death glare before facing forward again. Frank had been ok with her going out for dinner, but she also had to promise to watch a whole slew of Misfits music videos and interviews with him when she got back.  
  
Lizzie sighed when McDonald’s came into view, and that little flicker of hope vanished when she saw Jesse through the windows at the counter taking customer orders. His smile was sincere and bright, despite how tired his eyes looked. Lizzie hated to admit it, but he even made the ridiculous uniform look decent.  
  
The fast food joint wasn’t very busy due to the miserable weather and a couple were just leaving the front counter with their tray of food when they walked through the door. Jesse immediately resumed his perfect posture after having slumped over the counter briefly. It gave away that he wasn’t feeling well and Lizzie cocked her head to the side guiltily.  
  
“Welcome to McDon-“ he paused when his eyes met Lizzie’s and his entire expression lifted. “Hey, Lizzie! I didn’t see you at school at all today.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged, “Well I guess because you didn’t go to your locker at lunch?”  
  
“No, I met up with someone for lunch in the cafeteria today and didn’t stop by my locker. Well, hey, welcome to McDonald’s! Can I take your order?”  
  
“You must be Jesse,” Olivia smiled widely and moved forward to shake the boy’s hand while Lizzie wanted the ground to swallow her up on the spot. “Nice to finally meet you. Lizzie shares so little about her friends, it’s a rarity to actually meet one of them. I’m Olivia.”  
  
Isaac snickered again and Lizzie elbowed him in the side sharply.  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Jesse spoke politely and held an arm out in Isaac’s direction as if to present or announce him. “And Ike, of course!” Jesse bumped the palm of his hand to his forehead, mocking stupidity. “Should’ve realized you two were related when you both started at the beginning of the year.”  
  
“How do you know my name?” Isaac asked curiously. “Did Lizzie tell you?”  
  
“You’re new, everybody knows your name,” Jesse grinned the same line he’d given Lizzie the first time they talked. “So what can I get for you folks?”  
  
Each of the Silvers placed their order and Olivia made a not so subtle move by scooting Isaac off to the right. “Lizzie can wait for our order while we get a good seat.”  
  
“Wha-“ Isaac made to argue but was quickly scolded by Olivia and pushed him in the other direction.  
  
Lizzie blushed red and rolled her eyes. The restaurant was practically empty and no one new had walked in yet, leaving Jesse and Lizzie alone at the counter while people in the back put together the order. The silence was almost defending until Jesse suddenly shook his head quickly and groaned.  
  
“Sorry. I keep zoning out.”  
  
“You’re not feeling well?” Lizzie asked.  
  
“I’m fine,” he waved her off and set up a tray on the counter for the food while Lizzie desperately tried to think of something to discuss that didn’t revolve around Frank. With her mother in hearing distance it wouldn’t be the smartest move to bring up his name.  
  
“This weather sucks,” Lizzie muttered awkwardly. She spoke quietly, but she felt as if her voice bounced off the walls; live entertainment for the few customers munching on their dinner. “I guess that’s it for skateboarding for a while.”  
  
“Skateboarding’s out and snowboarding’s in,” Jesse answered easily with a grin.  
  
“You snowboard too?”  
  
“A bit. Some of my friends and I tried it out a couple years ago, and so we go a few times during the season. Want to come?”  
  
“With your douchebag friends, uh, no thanks,” Lizzie dismissed with a snort.  
  
Jesse shook his head, “Seriously? You’re never going to let that day go?”  
  
“It’s not like they’d like me anyway, so whatever.”  
  
“What makes you say that?” He made to say more when someone from the back called out the order being done and Jesse turned to fetch it, seemingly forgetting the conversation they were having. Instead he briefly flashed her a smile over his shoulder, “I’m sneaking you extra fries,” he explained, “don’t tell anybody.”  
  
“Uh, thanks,” she muttered and swallowed the lump in her throat. “See you at school I guess. Uh…bye.”  
  
“Catch you later, Lizzie,” he did a little drum solo on the countertop as if thriving off extra energy. What Lizzie didn’t see was Jesse slump back over the counter as soon as her back was turned.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It was almost 8:30 by the time they arrived home, and Lizzie was relieved to see Frank hadn’t turned the Christmas lights in the attic on. A lingering swoosh of wind slammed the gate shut after them and Olivia was already prepared with her keys in hand to unlock the door while Lizzie and Isaac handled the bags of groceries.  
  
Isaac routinely began to put things away as soon as they were inside the house, but Lizzie gave a drawn out groan as a thought came to mind. “I still have homework.”  
  
“Better get to it then,” Olivia lectured from the kitchen where she and Isaac now worked as a team to finish putting the groceries away. “I don’t want you staying up late again. You’re becoming a real grouch in the mornings. Sleep is important for kids your age, don’t forget!”  
  
“Man, mom, that’s lame,” Isaac complained. “Sleep is for the dead, that’s the mentality kids our age live by.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t argue; she didn’t want to be a part of the conversation anymore, and disappeared up the staircase. The English paper due the next day had been kicking her ass for a week and with a grammar fanatic teacher, editing was a major component.  
  
“Alright, so I’ve lined up all the videos,” Frank stated as soon as she walked through the door. He lay sprawled out on his stomach on her bed with the laptop in front of him. Obviously he’d been waiting and Lizzie eyed the binder she’d left open on her bed before leaving for dinner.  
  
“Sorry, Frankie, I still have that stupid homework to finish.”  
  
“You did. You don’t anymore. It’s done.”  
  
“Huh? What, you did my homework?”  
  
“I was bored,” he shrugged and gave her a small grin.  
  
Lizzie gave him an uneasy look and stepped forward to examine the finished product.  
  
“Don’t worry,” Frank laughed lightly, “it’s not fucked up or anything. I actually think it’s pretty damn good. English was my strong point in school when I was a youngin’ myself. Now you can say that the ghost did your homework.”  
  
Lizzie’s eyes scanned over the paper and was surprised over how careful Frank had been about copying her writing style, both in context and print. “Wow, Frank, this is awesome! Thank you!”  
  
“Yeah, well now you get to spend the rest of the evening watching Youtube with me!”  
  
Lizzie smiled and joined him on the bed. “Alright, fine. What do you have in store for me?”  
  
.........................................................................................................................................  
  
At school the next day Lizzie found herself feeling anxious and a little excited to see Jesse. They hadn’t discussed the meeting with Bob any further and Lizzie was ready to bring it up again and work with Jesse to determine the next steps in their mission.  
  
Lunch came and went without any sign of the skater boy, and Lizzie wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but Jesse didn’t show up the following two days either. Lizzie didn’t like to admit it, but she was worried, and even more so when she text him and received no response.  
  
The thin layer of snow crunched under Lizzie’s shoes as she headed away from the school on Friday. The weather had warmed up a bit on Wednesday, but then plummeted again on Thursday with flurries. Lizzie would have been more content had it stayed either warmer or colder; at least that was consistency.  
  
Teenagers were rushing around her slow pace, jabbering about the weekend and whose parents were out of town so a party could be thrown last minute. Lizzie’s mind, however, was wrapped up in concern for Jesse, because it wasn’t like him not to answer her. Something had to be wrong. Maybe the meeting with Bob had been enough for him and he didn’t want to associate with her or her quest any longer. Maybe Jesse was avoiding her, or maybe their awkward conversation at McDonald’s had made him realize just how weird she was.  
  
Still, Lizzie didn’t like not knowing and she turned down the street that would lead her to Jesse’s place.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The lock on the door still hadn’t been fixed since the last time she’d been to the apartment building and Lizzie startled as an ambulance came barrelling down the street before opening the door to step inside. The siren faded into the distance and Lizzie’s ears met silence in the stairwell.  
  
Hurrying up the dusty, echoing steps before she could change her mind Lizzie almost missed the correct floor and had to backtrack down a few steps. The stale scent of the hallway was like a punch to the stomach; memories of the first time she’d shown up at Nikki’s door. In all the alarm over Jesse, Lizzie nearly forgot who Jesse’s mother was, and what could potentially happen if she were to suddenly show up at her apartment again. She and Nikki hadn’t exactly got off on the right foot and she hadn’t seen the woman since.  
  
Still, Lizzie took a couple deep breaths and knocked on the door. She didn’t have to wait very long to be answered, and when the door flew open clumsily she was met with a boy she hadn’t yet been introduced to. Jesse’s younger brother, Aaron, stared at her curiously before his memory recollected their brief encounter.  
  
“You’re Lizzie,” he spoke calmly, much like Jesse would. There was no denying the two were siblings, with dark shaggy hair and similar eyes. However, where Jesse’s features were sharper, Aaron’s were a bit softer and he carried a more serious expression about him.  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie answered after a moment of hesitance. “You’re Aaron?”  
  
“Uh-huh. Jesse’s sick, if that’s why you’re here.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie’s cheeks flushed lightly. “Yeah. That sucks. Just thought I’d check in, he wasn’t answering text messages or anything so…”  
  
Lizzie trailed off as Nikki came around the corner to see who her youngest son was conversing with and paused before an annoyed look took over her neutral expression. “What is it you want?” she confronted instantly and nudged her son aside. “Do you realize how inappropriate it is to show up at someone’s doorstep like you did? I should call the cops on you!”  
  
“She’s friends with Jesse, mom,” Aaron explained, and seemingly stood up for Lizzie where she had fallen short of words.  
  
“Jesse isn’t feeling well,” Nikki stated abruptly and began to shut the door when Lizzie caught a glimpse of Jesse coming up behind Aaron, looking pale and feverish, but nowhere near deathbed material. He looked confused, but quickly pieced together what was happening and cleared his throat before speaking.  
  
“Hey, mom, it’s alright, I can talk,” he reasoned, though his voice sounded rough, harboring a sore throat. “Lizzie’s a friend from school, she apologized for that first time she stopped by.”  
  
Nikki looked anything but convinced, but stepped aside anyway and though she frowned at her eldest son’s request still brushed his bangs out of his face lovingly and felt his forehead. “Alright, fine, but then I want you to get back into bed, sweetums.”  
  
Jesse agreed at the same time Nikki gave Lizzie a warning look before exiting into the kitchen. Jesse rolled his eyes and gave Lizzie a gentle smile. “She uses really ridiculous pet names sometimes. Come in! Sorry about all that, you should’ve given me some warning that you were stopping by.”  
  
“You weren’t answering text messages…” Lizzie explained quietly and dared to take a step into the apartment, only to jump when the door shut right after her. Aaron walked around her and leaned against the wall to listen in on the conversation.  
  
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Jesse shook his head. “That’s right, I’ve kind of had it turned off the past few days.”  
  
“Mom took it from you,” Aaron cut in and Jesse gave him a side glare in return that shut the younger one up instantly.  
  
“Right… Well, she has the tendency to coddle.”  
  
“The doctor said you have the flu and have to stay in bed,” Aaron further explained, though Lizzie was confused as to whether the boy was speaking to her, Jesse, or simply to himself as he continued to talk.  
  
“Thank you, Aaron,” Jesse spoke in a cheerful manner, though Lizzie recognized his tone as sarcasm instantly, having a younger brother herself. In that moment Jesse would love nothing more than to slug his younger brother and yell at him to shut up, but of course he wouldn’t. And Lizzie had never done so to Isaac either, as much as she wanted to sometimes. “What happened to that homework you were getting done so you wouldn’t have to worry about it over the weekend?”  
  
“It can wait, this is far more interesting.”  
  
Lizzie couldn’t hold back the tiny giggle that escaped her lips and shifted uncomfortably on the spot, wondering what she was supposed to do or say next. Evidently Jesse was just getting over the flu and that’s why he hadn’t been at school. That was virtually all she needed to know, and it was all they could discuss in the confines of the apartment while Nikki was around.  
  
“Did you want to come sit down for a bit?” Jesse offered and pointed to the sitting area where the television was on and the scent of cigarettes was strong. Examining the surroundings a bit closer, Lizzie found a recently snubbed out cigarette in the ashtray and a blanket abandoned on the couch in a tangled mess. The television blared some horrid reality show of trashy men and women badmouthing each other, but Jesse was pretty quick to mute it and apologize for the mess.  
  
“No, it’s fine,” Lizzie dismissed and sat down on the couch next to him. Aaron hadn’t followed and Lizzie wasn’t sure if that was because he was lurking around somewhere to listen in, or if he’d decided his homework was far more interesting than any conversation they might have.  
  
Lizzie had only just realized Jesse was waiting for her to start the conversation, when Nikki came back out of the kitchen with a mug in hand. “Since you’re awake you can drink some tea,” Nikki ordered her son and carefully handed him the beverage. “Did you offer your guest anything yet?”  
  
“Oh, no,” Jesse piped up. “Sorry. Did you want anything to drink, Lizzie?”  
  
“I’m ok, thank you,” Lizzie smiled up at Nikki who didn’t return it, but also didn’t frown, so maybe it was an improvement. Lizzie figured Nikki would leave, but instead she took a seat in the recliner and lit up a new cigarette.  
  
Nikki eyed Lizzie constantly, her gaze bothersome and intimidating to Lizzie who suddenly felt it an impossible feat to be the first to talk. Thankfully, Jesse was a pretty observant guy and picked up on her uneasiness quickly.  
  
“I’ll be back on Monday,” he rasped with a smile. “I walked home in a hoodie after work that night you came in with your family.”  
  
“You’re an idiot,” Lizzie answered bluntly and earned a snort from Nikki who was nodding off to the side, as if she hadn’t been listening to their conversation.  
  
“Don’t worry, I got the full lecture already,” Jesse explained and nodded in his mother’s direction. “Anyway, I’ll be back Monday. Have I missed anything exciting around the school?”  
  
“Probably, but what would I know,” Lizzie shrugged, desperately trying to keep her eyes off Nikki. The woman was continuously staring, and Lizzie squirmed under her gaze, positive it was what Nikki was hoping to accomplish. Lizzie wasn’t wanted in the home as far as she was concerned.  
  
Both Ray and Bob had expressed sadness over the mention of Nikki, and Lizzie wondered just how different she used to be when Frank was still around. To Lizzie she looked the prime example of someone beaten down by life; money troubles, a job you hate, a bitter ex on the brain and worries that the best part of your life story had already happened.  
  
“Well that’s why you should come hang out with us in the cafeteria at lunch,” Jesse teased gently.  
  
“I thought you were friends,” Nikki cut into the conversation sharply and eyed her son accusingly.  
  
“Lizzie doesn’t like hanging out in the cafeteria at lunch. She likes being a loner upstairs at lunch.” Again Jesse’s tone was light and teasing as he flashed Lizzie a smile, but Nikki was the opposite as she frowned at her son.  
  
“So then leave her be,” Nikki’s voice was firm, but with undertones of being startled, or afraid. “Some people just like being alone. You have your friends.”  
  
“Maybe I will try and hang out with you guys again sometime,” Lizzie piped up forcefully and with her eyes set on Nikki daringly. Her fear of Nikki was starting to fizzle away and she was left with anger in its place. After all, what right did this woman have, assuming the kind of person Lizzie was and how her son shouldn’t be friends with her.  
  
Nikki eyed Lizzie back for a brief moment before closing her eyes and rubbing at her temples as if the world’s biggest headache had just set in place. “Jesse, you need to get back to bed, honey,” Nikki’s voice softened, and when her eyes opened they were glazed over and threatening tears. “You’ll see Lizzie again on Monday.”  
  
“Are you alright, mom?” Jesse asked with concern.  
  
“Fine, just a headache,” Nikki muttered and shut the television off before moving across the room. “I have to start getting ready for work.” She paused and looked over the two teenagers seated next to each other on the couch. Her eyes lingered on Lizzie, examining her facial features from afar, and trying to sum her up; trying to understand and categorize her; define her motives and ambitions.  
  
Lizzie stared right back until Nikki had enough and disappeared down the hall.  
  
“Sorry,” Jesse’s voice crackled, “I don’t know what that was about. Thanks for coming to check up on me.” He nudged her arm playfully, but Lizzie was too wrapped up on her latest encounter with Nikki to notice.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	16. Chapter 16

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Watcha Gonna Do" - Chilliwack_
  * _"Crazy Girl" (Jessie's Girl and Crazy Train mashup) - Rock Sugar_



...................................................................................................................................

 

“What do you want in your coffee?” Lizzie asked after shaking her jacket off to leave hanging over the back of the chair. Surprisingly the coffee shop wasn’t too busy and taking a table at the back of the place gave Lizzie and Jesse enough privacy for the call they were about to make.  
  
“Two cream, four sugar,” Jesse answered and situated Lizzie’s laptop on the table while she went to place the order for them both. Finally she was able to make up for the coffee he’d bought her when they’d met Ray, and Lizzie was going to throw in a couple chocolate chip cookies as an added bonus.  
  
“Did you want coffee with your sugar?” Lizzie rolled her eyes. She heard Jesse give a laugh behind her back as she walked away. His voice was still a bit rough sounding, but he looked a great deal better than he had on the Friday she showed up at his place. It appeared Nikki had her way when he showed up at school that morning bundled up in two sweaters and his jacket over top. He’d mentioned wearing long underwear too, but that was something Lizzie didn’t need to see.  
  
Lizzie was waiting for their order when Jesse’s voice rang out from across the room. “Sick music library, Lizzie!”  
  
Immediately Lizzie felt her face flush and gave the worker a sheepish smile. A couple people turned in their seats to see what all the commotion was about, but it wasn’t as if odd occurrences didn’t conspire daily in Jersey.  
  
“I wouldn’t guess you as being a Misfits fan,” he called again when Lizzie didn’t respond; this time kneeled on his chair and facing her.  
  
“Thank you,” Lizzie quickly thanked the worker as she grabbed the coffee and cookies and headed toward the table where Jesse was watching her with innocent eyes, as if he hadn’t just disrupted the whole shop. “Would you shut up?” she hissed.  
  
Instead of backing down or becoming embarrassed Jesse straightened his back and gave her a mischievous grin. “Shut up?” he spoke loudly and climbed onto his chair to stand. “Shut up on a beautiful day like this? Look at that frigid weather on there! It’s the perfect time to be catching coffee with a friend after school!”  
  
“Kid, you gotta get down from there,” the worker from behind the counter called.  
  
“But not until I thank you for your services,” Jesse bowed carefully. “Because without your work, all of us here would have to battle the bitter winter without coffee or tea or hot chocolate. And there wouldn’t be the most perfect chocolate chip cookies in existence! So thank you! And I hope everyone in here right now has a great day!”  
  
Lizzie stared in absolute horror at the scene before her; wide-eyed and stunned that Jesse would do something so utterly ridiculous and out of the blue. She expected to hear words of protest from customers, or to be thrown out by the staff, but instead all she could hear were a few chuckles and a couple responses of “You too” before the boy hopped down from the chair to be seated in front of her once again. He gave her an impish smile and picked up his coffee to sip.  
  
“You’re nuts,” Lizzie stated bluntly and took one of the cookies out of the bag to munch on. “Like batshit crazy.”  
  
“Thanks for noticing,” he answered and pulled the computer forward. “Since talking about music seems to make you nervous, how about we just skip right to calling Mikey up? He said he’d be online after four, and it’s already 4:18.”  
  
Lizzie blinked, confused by the sudden change in mood and unsure of how Jesse could focus so quickly after pulling such a stupid and pointless little prank. “…Sure… So Mikey’s ok with talking with us?”  
  
“Yeah, absolutely. I told you the guy used to babysit for Aaron and I, right? He’s the one who suggested Skype. He was pretty pumped when I called him up, but that’s probably because he figured my mom would want to talk with him. He used to have a thing for her, apparently.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie only half listened while Jesse filled her in on some details. “Well why didn’t we call him up first?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Jesse shrugged. “I guess because Ray seemed like a smarter choice to talk to. Mikey’s a bit of a scatterbrain. At least from what I remember and from what my mom has told me. Nice and all, just a bit oblivious sometimes.”  
  
“So what’s the point in calling him?”  
  
“We’re at a dead end,” Jesse explained and logged into his account on her computer. “Bob didn’t have anyone else for us to contact, so maybe Mikey will be another lead. He’s the younger brother of Gerard who went on that road trip Bob mentioned. Maybe we can get Gerard’s contact information.”  
  
“You never met Gerard?”  
  
“No, just Mikey. Mom never really had friends over much. She doesn’t really like asking for help, but you’ve probably gathered that already.”  
  
Lizzie found it better not to say anything further and gazed out the window instead while Jesse got the chat set up. Frank had talked about Mikey a few times, always making him out to be the baby of the group who was always set on partying through life. He had been the scrawny boy in the photograph that Lizzie found herself wondering how he’d turned out later in life and the first sound of his voice threw her off completely.  
  
“Jesse, holy shit!”  
  
Lizzie’s gaze quickly flickered to the screen and remained glued there at the man on the other line in California. Unlike Ray, Bob and Nikki who had looked weighed down by life’s hardships Mikey looked youthful, energetic and...good looking! Lizzie couldn’t be sure if it was a bad connection or if Mikey was in fact bouncing in his seat.  
  
“Hi,” Jesse greeted with a fond smile. Evidently Jesse liked Mikey and Lizzie found herself wishing the man from California could’ve stuck around in Jersey for him, if not for Nikki who clearly needed friends in her life.  
  
“Jesus,” Mikey broke out into a proud grin. “Man, isn’t technology awesome? All the way across the country but we get to talk face to face and all that sentimental junk. I should talk my brother into this.”  
  
“It has its advantages.”  
  
“Right on. So we caught up a bit on the phone but what did you want to talk about on Skype? Or did you just want to show off your girlfriend via video chat? She’s a keeper.”  
  
Lizzie frowned instantly over the sexist comment and lightly shoved her way into full view of the screen next to Jesse. “Excuse you! You haven’t even heard me talk yet and you’re judging me?”  
  
“And feisty,” Mikey grinned. “Hi, Lizzie, Jesse’s told me a bit about you already.”  
  
Lizzie wanted to argue, but getting into an argument with Mikey at the very start of their conversation wouldn’t leave them with any answers. “We want to talk about Frank.”  
  
“Well who wouldn’t? Even in death he pulls the girls in! Unbelievable! You know, in high school he could probably charm the pants right off right wing homophobes. I tried to nab those skills from him, but it was to no avail.”  
  
“So how did you end up getting a wife?” Jesse laughed in amusement. His uncle had been a lady charmer, and Lizzie could attest to it. Any warm blooded teenage boy would of course want to know more.  
  
“I messed up a pick-up line and she thought it was funny,” Mikey explained. “But Sandra and I aren’t married. We never bothered; takes too much effort and it’s a waste of money. Anyway,” he dropped his voice and leaned forward so his face filled up the camera. If his face wasn’t so horror stricken Lizzie would have rolled her eyes, but instead she bit down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing.  
  
“She’s pregnant, man,” Mikey explained. “Don’t ever knock a chick up, Jesse. I thought I knew hell, but this is a whole new level. And I still have three more months of this bullshit to get through before the rug rat gets here.”  
  
“Hey, congrats,” Jesse smiled widely. “You’re gonna be a dad! How is that allowed?”  
  
“I don’t think it is, but wine and romantic comedies really get the ladies wound up and let you get away with some shit you’d never get away with if their heads weren’t filled with thoughts of the latest stud of Hollywood. Do you know how many premieres I’ve taken her to because she thinks the lead actor his hot? But I’m tellin’ you, Jesse, it works. She’ll drag you home, tie you up-“  
  
“Alright, I don’t need that much detail,” Jesse waved his hands and laughed, though a blush was evident in his cheeks.  
  
“Well, dude, just in case you end up asking Lizzie out, you know,” Mikey whispered.  
  
“You know I can hear you, right?” Lizzie spoke up.  
  
“Shit, Lizzie, this is a private conversation,” Mikey startled. “I’m bestowing some manly wisdom here. But I’ll give you some fair warning, that this young lad here used to have a mean case of diaper rash.”  
  
“Hey,” Jesse cried out and Lizzie burst into full out laughter.  
  
Mikey grinned and leaned back in his seat. “We’re talking about Frank though, so what is it you want to know, kids? We’ve established he was a modern-day Casanova.”  
  
“Well, Bob told us about you guys breaking into a school,” Jesse shrugged. “I guess I just want to know more about my uncle. No one really talks about him, Mikey.”  
  
A look of sympathy came over Mikey’s face and in that moment Lizzie really liked Mikey. He was definitely dorky, but already she could sense he had a great deal of heart. “Sorry, Jess, I know it’s a pretty fucked up situation. What exactly did you want to know more about?”  
  
Lizzie shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling as if she were invading on what should be a private conversation between the two guys.  
  
“We talked to Bob and he said that Frank was a dealer and that you guys had parties and did pranks and stuff. I don’t know, was he a good person?”  
  
“Yeah, Jesse,” Mikey answered instantly. “Hell yeah, Frankie was a good person. He was a great person! And yeah, he got into some trouble, but we all got into some trouble. I remember this one time we broke into a park swimming pool at night for a party. It was late in the year so the water was freezing! I swear to God, man, my balls retracted back into my body. For a moment there we actually thought Ray got hypothermia! And Frank’s birthday was the best time of the whole year. Best Halloween bash you could find in Jersey. The last birthday he had a huge party for was his eighteenth and it was off the hook. Like, I almost got laid that night.”  
  
“Almost,” Jesse smirked.  
  
“Yeah, well,” Mikey shrugged and smiled. “I remember I dressed up like a vampire. Your mom was a nun!”  
  
Jesse cringed and turned to Lizzie who eyed him curiously. “My mom used to…” he waved his hand around, obviously not wanting to utter the words, but luckily Mikey appeared to have no filter.  
  
“A prostitute, Lizzie. She stopped shortly after the accident. She stopped a lot of stuff after the accident and got her life on a better track.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie squeaked and averted her gaze.  
  
“Anyway, I was a vampire, Nikki was a nun, Gee and Glore were zombies, Ray was Slash, Bob was Daph’s locker and Daph was something none of us could determine; it was a god-awful costume. And Frankie wore a mask, like he normally did for his birthday. Usually we’d all just crash at his place for the night, but Ray had a lame curfew and Bob got really drunk. And Daphne was crying, I remember. And Frank got some.”  
  
“Some what?” Lizzie asked after a beat, having become lost in her own thoughts and unsure of why Mikey was grinning.  
  
Jesse turned his head and gave Lizzie an incredulous look, “Did you seriously just ask that?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Sex.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Jesse abandoned the confusing conversation and turned back to the computer, “Daphne was crying? Why?”  
  
“Ohhh, sex,” Lizzie cued in finally. “Frank. Got some. Gotcha.”  
  
“Thanks for joining in, Lizzie,” Jesse teased and nudged her arm. “So why was Daphne crying?”  
  
“Who knows,” Mikey shrugged. “Girl drama, dude, not even girls get it.”  
  
“Wait, Frank slept with someone that night?” a thought dawned on Lizzie.  
  
“Yes, I think we’ve established that,” Jesse gave a small laugh.  
  
“But it wasn’t Daphne.”  
  
“Naw, I think it was some slutty little animal,” Mikey explained. “A chipmunk maybe. Or a squirrel.”  
  
“Who would dress up as a slutty squirrel?” Jesse began to argue.  
  
“Well what’s so great about rabbits?” Mikey asked in turn.  
  
“Would you both stop it?” Lizzie interrupted and waved her hands around frantically. “Jeez! You shouldn’t be allowed in the same room together!”  
  
“Technically we’re-“  
  
“No,” Lizzie cut Jesse off and shoved his arm lightly. “Don’t you get it? Daphne and Frank weren’t dating yet! Were they?”  
  
“Don’t think so,” Mikey yawned and glanced over his shoulder at his pet cat that had jumped up onto the bookshelf. “That’s my pussy,” he pointed and winked.  
  
“So Daphne would have been upset because she was crushing on Frank and then he went off to sleep with someone else at the party. Oh my God, it’s so obvious. Boys are so stupid.”  
  
“I resent that,” Jesse narrowed his eyes.  
  
“They started dating shortly after Halloween,” Mikey continued. “And then they were constantly groping each other. All the goddamn time, I swear. School hallways, the park, bars, churches-“  
  
“Yeah, sure, churches,” Jesse snorted.  
  
“Fine, not churches, but definitely everywhere else. After the break-in at the school Frank was under suspicion for planning it all and cops were involved. With a past in drug dealing he was freaked out to be caught and so that, and Gloria being booted to her grandparents in Chicago kind of put this whole California thing into motion. I don’t know too much about it, because they wanted to keep me out of the know a lot. I don’t know why, it’s not like I’m not reliable or anything. But I helped them pack things up and get ready for their trip.”  
  
“That must’ve been difficult,” Lizzie empathized. “Didn’t your brother go to California with them?”  
  
“It wasn’t a picnic in the park or anything. There was a lot of anxiety happening in the group and I was pissed off they wouldn’t let me go with them. I had an argument with Gee about it, but in the end I stayed put. The four of them left and the rest of us in Jersey didn’t know where they were going, other than to California.”  
  
“But something must have gone wrong in California if Frank ended up back here,” Jesse reasoned.  
  
“I don’t know, dude,” Mikey answered sadly. “I don’t know a lot of what happened to them in California; just that it wasn’t anything good. To this day Gee won’t tell me all the details.”  
  
“Can we try talking to him?” Lizzie asked hesitantly. “I mean, maybe he won’t say anything else, but we could still ask?”  
  
“I’ll let him know what’s up and that you’ll be paying him a visit. He still lives in Jersey with his wife.”  
  
Jesse jotted down the address on a piece of paper and stuffed it into his pocket before glancing back at the screen. “Were you with my uncle before he left that night?”  
  
“I was, yeah,” Mikey spoke uncharacteristically light and gentle. “It was a Christmas party Nikki decided to throw. See, when Frankie got back from California he wasn’t exactly happy. He was…depressed I guess. I think Nikki just wanted to do something to try and cheer him up so she threw a party for Christmas after he rejected a birthday party. He wasn’t exactly thrilled at the party or anything. He was there, but he wasn’t, you know? I don’t know where his mind was, but it wasn’t with the rest of us. And then he must have left. The next day your mom called me with the news. It was a really shitty day.”  
  
A silence took hold of the three of them and it was Mikey’s girlfriend, Sandra, who interrupted the conversation, calling for him to make a trip to the grocery store.  
  
“Sorry, Jess, I have to get going now,” Mikey explained. “Girlfriend-zilla needs her fix of ice cream and olives. Goddamn is pregnancy fucked up. You ever just lie there at night and think about it, Jesse? Women grow human beings. They’re like mutants or something. Just imagine growing a human being.” Mikey gave a shiver and then focused on Lizzie. “Hey, Lizzie, I hope we get to talk again sometime. Keep an eye on him,” he motioned toward Jesse. “He’s a bit nuts. And if he gets that diaper rash again there’s a super good cream at the grocery store. I think it’s called-“  
  
“Bye, Mikey,” Jesse quickly shut the computer and smiled impishly at Lizzie. “So…that was Mikey…”  
  
“I like him,” Lizzie giggled. “And no worries, your diaper rash secret is safe with me. For now.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“I’ll walk you home,” Jesse stated just as soon as they had stepped outside of the shop half an hour later. Reluctant to follow his mother’s cautionary tales of children who didn’t dress for the weather he didn’t bother zipping up his jacket and had since stuffed his scarf into his backpack.  
  
“You have work,” Lizzie pointed out and pulled her mittens on.  
  
“Not until seven. And don’t you want to plot out our next move?”  
  
“What’s there to plan?” Lizzie snorted. “All we have to do is pick a day and show up at Gerard’s house. It’s not that complicated.”  
  
Jesse rolled his eyes and Lizzie had the sudden urge to zip up his stupid jacket and tell him to put his damn gloves on instead of settling for stuffing them into his pockets. It wasn’t the freezing cold it had been a few days ago, but it was still winter weather.  
  
“Jeez, if you don’t want to walk with me you can just say so,” Jesse spoke in a teasing tone. “I won’t be crushed.“  
  
“For one, it would be you walking with me, not me with you. And secondly, you’re getting over a cold still. You should go home and drink soup or whatever.”  
  
“Alright, so I’ll walk on my own and you walk on your own and we won’t be walking together; we’ll just be two pedestrians on the same sidewalk,” Jesse grinned.  
  
Lizzie knew he was up to nothing good as soon as he slowed his pace to be a solid ten feet behind her. “Fine, weirdo,” she muttered and continued along the sidewalk at a brisk pace, finding it unsettling being followed, regardless of who it was. It was still someone trailing behind her with the pure purpose of playing on her nerves. And Jesse continued the charade all the way down her street.  
  
A few houses away from her own Lizzie felt a sudden, blunt impact at the back of her shoulder and whipped around in annoyance. “What the fuck is your problem?” she shouted at the boy who gave her a look of shock, that if she didn’t know better, was genuine.  
  
“Fellow pedestrian! It was a drive by snowballing! Out of nowhere! Didn’t you see them? They were about three feet tall and dressed in pointy hats and wore curly shoes. Their driver was pure white and wore a fancy top hat and smoked a pipe. I don’t know who they were, but I’ll get to the bottom of it, Lizzie. I’ll contact the authority if I have to!”  
  
“Did their weapon of choice look something like this by any chance?” Lizzie snapped and quickly bent down to roll two snowballs, hurling them one after the other at Jesse with as much force as possible, hitting him once in the shoulder and once in the leg. “Asshole!”  
  
Jesse let out a yelp of laughter and declared it war as he grabbed another handful of snow, whipping it at Lizzie and dodging the snowball she threw back simultaneously.  
  
“Drive by snowballing,” Lizzie found herself laughing as she ducked and stumbled into a run, returning fire. “You’re a moron!”  
  
Jesse easily caught up to her in front of the gate to her house, both in stiches of laughter from the childish game and simply happy with how the day had turned out. Mikey had made Lizzie feel lighter and a bit better about life knowing Frank had been friends with such a dorky guy. And it was nice to know that Jesse had spent a small portion of his life being looked after by said dorky guy. Maybe he hadn’t raised Jesse, but Lizzie could see a couple personality traits that may have rubbed off on the boy in front of her.  
  
“So when are you going to hold up your end of the deal and let me see the inside of the house?” Jesse asked after the laughing fit had subsided. He reached out and ran his fingers across the chain-linked fence like he had the last time he’d walked her home, and that’s when Lizzie took notice in how raw and red his hands looked. Her hands were freezing, and she _was_ wearing mittens.  
  
“Would you put your fucking gloves on?” she spoke so suddenly Jesse startled. “And zip up your jacket!”  
  
“Ok, fine,” he surrendered and dropped his backpack onto the ground to dig through. “Jeez, first I’m lectured by my mom and now you’re starting. It’s just a little winter.”  
  
“Too much winter can kill a person,” Lizzie spoke coolly and then paused over her comment, feeling guilt sink into her bones as she briefly looked up to the attic, noticing the curtain waver.  
  
“Obviously,” Jesse muttered quietly, obviously having picked up on the connection.  
  
Lizzie watched as Jesse zipped up his jacket and pulled his gloves on before holding his arms wide open to present himself. “Am I the Abominable Snowman yet?”  
  
“Uglier.”  
  
Jesse snorted and then smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow? We have to figure out when we’re going to crash Gerard’s.”  
  
“Yeah, ok,” Lizzie met his smile and shuffled around on the spot. “It’s cold, I’m going inside now.”  
  
“Alright then,” he nodded and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Well when you want that picture back you know what to do. Stay warm, Lizzie Silver.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes but still found herself lingering by the gate as Jesse walked away, only pausing to throw one last snowball at her with a grin.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	17. Chapter 17

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Troublemaker" - Weezer_
  * _["Leave Me in My Hell" - Inward Eye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8yP9WajeA0) (I don't think they ever recorded this one in the studio, but here they are playing an acoustic version of it in a parking lot. They were a local band of three brothers. [This is the music video for "Day After Day", one of my all time favourite songs in general](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g-6FTuT9cE), and you get little glimpses of my city in it! They've since broken up, but two of the brothers are in a new band called 'Attica Riots' if you want to check them out. Anyway, "Leave Me in My Hell" hit me right in the feels while working on this chapter because it clicked so well with Frank)._
  * _"I'm the Dude" - Keith Forsey_



_................................................................._...........................................................................

 

 _Skip the flirting with Jesse today and let’s do something fun. You pick out one of your stupid girly flicks and I’ll bring the ghost stories.  
  
\- F_  
  
Lizzie snorted over the comment scrawled in the margin of her math homework and racked her brain for a witty comeback to either write or say once she arrived home. She had just pressed her pen to the paper when a commotion up the hall distracted her.  
  
“Mush,” Jesse demanded of his best friend who had the unlucky job of dragging along a dangerously wobbly Jesse who tried desperately to keep balance on his snowboard.  
  
“If you didn’t weigh a ton this wouldn’t be so difficult,” the boy Lizzie knew as Nathan retorted. “Why do I even put up with your crazy antics?”  
  
“Good morning, Mr. Bryson,” Jesse ignored in order to greet one of his biggest fans. In the time Lizzie had been at the school she still had yet to see Mr. Bryson become frustrated with Jesse and all the stupid little things he got away with.  
  
“What’s up now, Jesse?” he chuckled in amusement. “Snowboarding?”  
  
“Skateboard weather is out, unfortunately. We needed to improvise.”  
  
Lizzie wanted no part in the silly charade and quickly began to gather together her books in order to remain unnoticed. It was one thing to know Jesse, but another to be sucked into his silly games. Lizzie still didn’t fully understand his reasoning for the things he did and while he was growing on her, Lizzie still didn’t care much to be acknowledged more than she already was by the student body. It was becoming sort of her thing to be the mysterious new girl with a miserable demeanour.  
  
“Hold up,” Jesse instructed Nathan and jumped off the board none too gracefully. “Lizzie! Good morning! You’re looking ravishing today. So I was working at the strip joint to Tom Jones as usual last night when this thought came to mind. Snowboarding. We talked briefly about it last week at McDick’s. Are you in or are you in?”  
  
“Wait, what?” Lizzie shook her head quickly in attempt to organize her thoughts and focus her attention on the grinning boy and his rather grumpy looking friend. “I don’t snowboard.”  
  
“You don’t need to snowboard to snowboard. I actually have no idea how to snowboard. I skateboard so I figured some of those skills must be transferable. I’ve been trying for the past couple years, so why not continue the tradition? If anything you can spend half the time laughing as I fall on my face, and I’ll spend half the time laughing as you fall on your ass. And then we’ll all be laughing and it’ll end up being a decent time. So I’ll ask again, are you in or are you in?”  
  
“I can’t,” Lizzie answered so quickly you’d think it was a reflex. “I-I’ve got a date.”  
  
“Oh? With whom?”  
  
“Uh, a guy.” Lizzie flushed red, all too aware that Jesse’s friend was listening to their entire conversation and looking amused over her awkward attempt at remaining cool and composed. “S-sort of this guy I’m seeing?”  
  
“There’s always a guy, isn’t there?” Jesse smiled, though it looked bittersweet and forced. “Ok, well, hey, he can come along too. Your call. We’ll be at that hill in the park. It’s proved to be a pretty good practice spot in the past.”  
  
“Yeah, alright, thanks.”  
  
Jesse gave her a small nod and then grinned over his shoulder to Nathan. “Onward! Mush!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“This movie is so lame,” Frank’s voice pulled Lizzie out of her thoughts. It was almost 4:30 PM now and they were 15 minutes into the first chick flick Lizzie found in her film collection. Jesse would be snowboarding with his friends now; falling on his face and laughing it off. They had some decent weather for their snowy adventure: clear skies and a temperature kind enough not to cause frostbite within mere seconds of exposure.  
  
“Shit, I don’t know about you, Lizzie, but I found it slightly arousing when those grandmas were all making out in that last scene. And those talking goldfish were a mindfuck.”  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie mumbled and checked the time on her phone again. “Real funny.”  
  
Frank pursed his lips together in thought before pausing the film and pressing a cold hand to the back of his friend’s neck.  
  
“Hey,” Lizzie yelped and snapped to full attention. “What the hell was that for?”  
  
“You’re not even paying attention,” he accused. “I just said there were old ladies getting it on and talking goldfish! We’re watching one of your stupid Hugh Grant movies. Unless you’re holding back on the golden era of films he’s done I don’t recall any granny fucking and talking goldfish.”  
  
Lizzie scraped at her bottom lip with her teeth nervously and felt guilt pulling her under. Going snowboarding with Jesse had sounded like fun and she would have rather spent her time there that afternoon than watching yet another movie with Frank. That’s all it ever was with Frank: movies, video games and music. There was no exploring Jersey with him or tripping through snow during a snowball fight. No coffee shops or malls or theatres or McDonald’s. And it sucked, because she couldn’t even put any blame on him. Frank didn’t have any other choice being confined to the house, so there was no reason for her to feel so frustrated with his regular routine.  
  
“Sorry,” she muttered and picked up her buzzing cell phone.  
  
“You picked it,” Frank shrugged and leaned over to see what was making Lizzie smile so brightly. He’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t sink with some form of jealousy. Jealous of what he couldn’t define, but there were still feelings there, threatening to spill.  
  
_‘You’re missing out’_ the message read, and under it was a picture of Jesse pretending to face plant into the snow, still attached to his board. A friend had obviously snapped a picture upon request.  
  
“Is that from now?” Frank asked as the information began stitching together to explain Lizzie’s current mood.  
  
“Yeah,” she snorted and dropped the phone to her side. “They went snowboarding after school. Start the movie, one of the best parts is coming up!”  
  
Frank moved to press play on the laptop again but paused and glanced over his shoulder to Lizzie who was busy on her phone again, texting a response. It was always such a feat to do the right thing. That’s why he found his mouth open with no sound coming out.  
  
“I don’t hear Hugh Grant,” Lizzie stated after another passing moment spent on her phone. Jesse not only sent her one picture, but a series of him pretending to fall; a slow motion play-by-play in silly snapshots, with twisted facial expressions and flying snow suspended in mid-air to help sell the story.  
  
“Oh Jesus, just go,” Frank forced a smile and shook Lizzie’s leg. “You’re driving me nuts sitting there on your dumb phone. You were invited to go with them, right? That’s why you’re all mopey now and ignoring the non-existent talking goldfish. Go snowboarding.”  
  
“No, I said I’d-“  
  
“And I said this isn’t any fun when you’re not into it. Especially a chick flick! Go out and have fun.”  
  
Lizzie hesitated, unsure if Frank was being genuine or not. It was true that she wasn’t being a very good movie buddy when her thoughts were consumed wondering if snowboarding would be fun or not. “I don’t know,” she finally muttered, but Frank was already ejecting the DVD from the laptop. “I’ll make it up to you,” she exclaimed with a smile and squeezed his arm.  
  
“Oh yeah?” Frank played along, the bitterness barely concealed in his words. “With two Hugh Grant films?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie laughed and pulled her hoodie on. “I don’t know what yet. Something new! Or, like, a video game day with Ike again? That was fun. Or- Uh-“  
  
“Just go, Liz,” Frank smiled. “Play with your little friends.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes but quickly became distracted with the message she sent Jesse, letting him know she was going to come to the park. Frank sat at the edge of the bed with the laptop seated on his lap. His gaze occasionally followed Lizzie as she darted around the room pulling layers of clothes on and babbling on about new films they could watch. Anything she thought would cheer up her ghostly friend from ditching him for the evening.  
  
“Don’t crash into a tree,” Frank lectured just as Lizzie exited the bedroom. He escaped up to the attic with the laptop balanced dangerously in one hand while his other pecked at the keys one at a time. The house fell to an uncomfortable silence once Lizzie was out the door and Frank stood by the window watching her rush out the gate with a crash as it shut. She only paused to speak to her mother who was just arriving home.  
  
Frank wanted to be able to venture outside again. He longed to smell freshly cut grass, barbeques, campfires, rain and the sharp, stinging scent of winter. He wanted so badly to go with Lizzie and socialize with a group of people again - discuss any and all topics. Maybe get into some trouble, or the opposite and simmer down - get an education and job. It was an agony Frank struggled with daily; tearing him up from the inside out, and especially on days like this, where Lizzie so obviously wanted more than just lazing around watching movies. And goddammit, Frank wanted so much more too, but this was all he could offer and he felt selfish holding her back.  
  
Lizzie continued up the sidewalk with her mom calling something after her before Frank turned back to his search on the computer. _‘Daphne Taylor’_. He’d searched it dozens of times and spent hours going through webpages, trying to find just a trace of information that could lead him to _his_ Daphne, but it was to no avail. Frank stared at the screen regretfully before closing it and sitting in the corner to wait out the lingering silence.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse was just about to sail down the hill again when Lizzie came into his peripheral vision. She struggled through the snow, lifting one foot at a time higher than needed only to stomp back down with vengeance. She’d almost completely forgotten that hanging out with Jesse meant spending time with his friends too, and after their last encounter Lizzie wasn’t sure how she’d be received by them.  
  
“Hey, Lizzie,” Jesse greeted with his usual enthusiasm.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“You decided to come, that’s awesome! Won’t your date be kind of upset though? Or did you bring him with you?” He leaned to the side in order to glance around Lizzie curiously.  
  
“Oh, no, he had to cancel last minute. Work. So I figured I’d come see what was so special about this snowboarding crap you’re all enamoured by.”  
  
“Yeah! Yeah, just a minute. I have a friend who’s about your size, I think. What’s your shoe size?”  
  
Lizzie didn’t know why she blushed revealing her size to Jesse. It wasn’t like she had abnormally big or small feet to feel awkward about, but it was still a personal detail and it was weird sharing the fact with Jesse.  
  
“Great,” he exclaimed. “That’s her size too, so it’ll be perfect. Lisa!”  
  
Lizzie watched a girl she didn’t recognize from school make her way toward them. Her dark, curly hair ran past her shoulders and she held a serious expression on her face that told Lizzie instantly she was about to be scrutinized. Lizzie would have to try her hardest to hold down her easily surfaced sarcasm and temper.  
  
“Lisa, this is Lizzie, a friend from school. Lizzie, this is Lisa. Lisa graduated a couple years ago and studies literature at university now.”  
  
“Uh, cool,” Lizzie nodded. “Nice to meet you.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Lisa answered, though didn’t sound very convincing and eyed Jesse sceptically. Maybe he was naïve to it but Lizzie wasn’t and knew Jesse’s friends must have filled Lisa in on her encounter with them in the cafeteria. Anyone who thought first impressions weren’t a big deal clearly lived under a rock.  
  
“Lizzie’s never tried snowboarding before,” Jesse explained, “can she borrow your board to give it a shot? You’re the same size.”  
  
Lisa was reluctant but agreed and handed the board over to Jesse. “Sure, but if she breaks it you’re paying!”  
  
“She won’t break it,” Jesse laughed and grabbed Lizzie by the wrist to tug her to the edge of the hill. “Ok, so step in,” he motioned down at the board.  
  
“Which, uh, yeah, alright, got it,” she stared in confusion at the object before awkwardly stepping in and struggling to hold her balance. It was an instant reminder of when Frank had tried teaching her how to skateboard in her bedroom. The familiar guilt of Frank came eating away at her thoughts, but she tried to tuck it to the back of her mind for the time being.  
  
“There,” Jesse strapped her in before standing to his full height. “Now go,” he pointed down the hill. “Keep your knees bent or you’ll fall. You’ll probably fall anyway, but if you do make sure to fall backwards onto your ass because you’re used to that.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile and after the briefest of moments gave in and laughed, because it was true, unfortunately.  
  
After watching a couple of Jesse’s friends she recognized from the cafeteria come back up the hill Lizzie frowned down at the snowboard and the slope. “So how do I make it go?” she asked Jesse simply. “It’s not like a skateboard where you push off with your other foot.”  
  
“I don’t really know either,” Jesse admitted from the ground where he was strapping his boots into his own snowboard. It was funny watching him struggle to his feet and he fell back down twice before accomplishing the task with an annoyed sigh. “I just kind of throw my body into it,” he explained. “Or sometimes, if I’m lucky, there will be a breeze and all I have to do is be near the edge of the hill. Then I just get pushed down it, voila!”  
  
“Real helpful, thanks,” Lizzie scoffed and wiggled her hips.  
  
“Not like that,” Jesse paused her effort. “You gotta just- Throw yourself.”  
  
“What, like there was a giant explosion? Are we in an action movie?”  
  
“More like Superman,” Jesse explained logically. “Throw yourself.”  
  
“You _throw_ yourself,” Lizzie dared.  
  
“Ok, fine,” Jesse clapped his hands together and took in a breath of air. “I have to warn you though, I don’t know how to stop. I haven’t mastered that one yet.”  
  
“Like you’ve mastered starting?”  
  
Jesse responded by stretching his arms, putting on a ridiculous show to which Lizzie just rolled her eyes and watched Nathan go sliding down the hill like a professional. He threw in a little trick and Lizzie cast her eyes back on Jesse wondering if all of his expert advice and dramatized stretching was all a ploy to make her look like an idiot in front of everyone else when she tried and failed miserably. But that was before he actually did as he said and _threw_ himself forward as if he’d just tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. In all fairness he did get the board moving.  
  
Lizzie couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed quite so hard and almost ended up falling backwards just over the sight of Jesse flapping his arms, unsure if he was going to fall forwards of backwards. She also hadn’t expected him to be moving so slowly, or yelling to Nathan about how no one likes a show-off.  
  
Eventually Jesse reached the bottom of the slope and physics played their part as he came to a stop with no effort. “Your turn, Lizzie,” he cupped his hands around his mouth to help project his voice back up the hill.  
  
Lizzie blushed red as all the focus was drawn to her momentarily. There were quite a few people present and she wasn’t sure if all of them were Jesse’s friends or not. “Did he strap you in right?” Nathan came jogging over to her sheer surprise. He didn’t give her any dirty looks or say anything snarky, instead he seemed genuinely concerned over her safety. “Sometimes he messes this up,” he explained and crouched down to double-check the work Jesse had done. “You’re good. Just remember to bend your knees.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“No problem.”  
  
Lizzie expected him to venture back to the girl evidently waiting for him, but he stood nearby, probably expecting her to break an ankle or something just as terrible. For all she knew he was also their first aid.  
  
Just like Jesse had, Lizzie thrust her arms out in front of her, but with her eyes squeezed shut and a grimace on her face, ready for the fall. The board moved forward and immediately tipped forward sending her into a slide. She yelped and opened her eyes, deciding it was probably a better idea to see what it was she was going to crash into, but thankfully there weren’t any trees in her path and only Jesse standing at the bottom of the hill free of his snowboard.  
  
“Holy shit,” Lizzie squealed as she picked up speed and wobbled dangerously. “I’m going to fall!”  
  
“Bend your knees,” Nathan called from behind her.  
  
“Find your balance,” Jesse added with a laugh.  
  
Again Lizzie had a flashback to Frank when he’d offered her the exact same advice while holding her close. Frank, who was at home, probably waiting in the attic. Frank, who only had one person he could converse with freely, and she was out having fun; laughing and already wishing for days to have longer hours so the moment could last. Frank, who had a limited amount of time left the closer she came to finding Daphne.  
  
Lizzie felt her smile beginning to fade the closer she came to the end of the ride, and as she came to a halt just like Jesse had she was frowning with guilt-ridden sadness.  
  
Jesse cheered and applauded her first effort at snowboarding. “You didn’t fall,” he exclaimed. “On my very first attempt I think I made it a quarter of the way down the hill before Nathan was dragging my pathetic ass back up the slope to try again. So you’re a natural, and- Hey, are you alright?”  
  
“I have to go,” Lizzie spoke hastily, leaning down to undo the straps on her boots. “I just forgot I have homework to do.”  
  
“But you just got here and we all usually go out for hot chocolate after,” Jesse explained quickly, his eyes pleading. “Aren’t you having fun?”  
  
“Yeah, but I have homework,” Lizzie explained more firmly. “So I have to go. Sorry.”  
  
“We won’t be out that late, can’t you just do it when you get home after?”  
  
“No, I should really go and get started on it now. And it gets dark out early. Winter, shorter daylight hours.”  
  
“I’ll walk you home again, it’s no big deal, Lizzie, really. I mean, Nathan might even be able to drive you home after. It’s not like you haven’t been out after dark before. Like when we met up with Ray, remember?”  
  
“I just have to go, ok?” Lizzie all but shouted and began to make her way back up the hill with Lisa’s board in hand.  
  
“I don’t understand you,” Jesse spoke angrily as he followed behind her, and it startled Lizzie because it was the first time he’d been so pissed off with her. She’d heard him angry with Bob, but now all that frustration was directed at her and it wasn’t exactly enjoyable. For someone so upbeat and optimistic Jesse sounded beat and annoyed. “First you couldn’t come because you had a date, but he cancelled so you came to hang out. And now, all of a sudden, you have to go because of homework that’s going to take you five hours to do? You were just having fun! I know you were because you actually looked , for the first time since I’ve known you, like you weren’t weighed down by anything. You were laughing seconds ago, so what happened in those few seconds?”  
  
“I remembered I have a shitload of homework, it’s not some CSI case, Jesse. You don’t have to go run a bunch of lab reports and interview suspects. I just don’t want to flunk my math class, so I need to do my homework.”  
  
Jesse heaved a sigh but caved in, much to Lizzie’s relief. He didn’t condone her intent, but he also didn’t berate her with further questions.  
  
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” Lizzie mumbled to Jesse after returning Lisa’s board. “We have to figure out when we’re going to go talk to Gerard.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Frank was listening to music when Lizzie arrived home. He glanced at the time three times before it sunk in that she hadn’t even been gone long enough for him to get through one full playlist, and while he was happy to see her back home it also left him feeling concerned.  
  
“Did they take off somewhere else?” he tested the waters, following her figure around the room as he had when she was getting ready to leave earlier. Only this time she was putting her extra layers of clothes away slowly and with too much precision to be called normal behaviour.  
  
“No. I just didn’t really like snowboarding. I tried it and decided to come home instead. Did you want to start that chick flick again or do something else?”  
  
“Do you want to watch it?”  
  
“I don’t care, I just want to hang out with you,” Lizzie weakly smiled and sat by the window next to him.  
  
Frank matched her bittersweet smile and gripped her hand in his without a word. The cold stung her hand, but she ignored it and rest her head against his shoulder. The silence was comfortable - both too wrapped up in their own inner-struggle to worry about conversing with the other, but needing the closeness.  
  
And as the seconds turned into passing minutes, Lizzie fought hard to blink back threatening tears. When she’d first met Frank she’d never considered the difficulties involved with being friends with a ghost or falling in love with a ghost. When she made the decision to help him find peace she never processed the concept of goodbye. Now that he was around Lizzie couldn’t imagine Frank not being there when she needed him. Frank was already dead, but to Lizzie it felt like he was dying.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................


	18. Chapter 18

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Good Girls Go to Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)" - Meat Loaf_
  * _"Iridescent" - Linkin Park_
  * _"Memories on the Ground" - Tim Halperin_



.......................................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie and Jesse both eyed the house in front of them and couldn’t help but feel like they were overstepping a boundary by showing up at the man’s house. The trees and bushes surrounding the area were bare, but in summer could easily hide the house from plain sight, providing a perfect location for murder, Lizzie’s mind quickly jumped to.  
  
“Well,” Jesse sighed and took the first step onto the cleared path leading to the front door. The pavement, though shoveled, didn’t prevent ice and Jesse’s foot slipped out from under him instantly. Reflex had Lizzie grabbing his arm to prevent the fall and Jesse blushed and gave an embarrassed laugh.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“…Welcome,” Lizzie answered awkwardly and proceeded to shuffle along ahead of him. “Icy as fuck. Hasn’t this guy ever heard of sanding his sidewalk? What do his relatives do when they visit? Skate to the front door?”  
  
Practically crawling up the front steps Lizzie straightened her back and rang the doorbell without a second thought. Jesse quickly joined her and double checked the numbers on the panelling to make sure they’d arrived at the correct address and weren’t about to invade on some old spinster’s afternoon date with her cats watching soap operas on TV.  
  
Lizzie reached out to ring the doorbell again when she noticed the side curtain move. “Is he ignoring us?” she glared at Jesse before back to the window. “What a prick. I don’t like him.”  
  
“You haven’t met him,” Jesse reminded and rang the doorbell again for her. “Give it a minute, Mikey said he was going to let him know we were coming.”  
  
“He better hurry up then, I’m getting cold,” she muttered stubbornly and crossed her arms, still keeping her eyes narrowed on the window.  
  
After what felt like another thirty seconds the door was slowly pulled open and a man they assumed was Gerard stood on the other side of the screen door. “Are you selling something, ‘cause-“  
  
Lizzie’s ears twitched over the sound of his voice, finding it a peculiar tone for a fully grown man. Already she could tell his messy hair was dyed and the only thing giving away his age were the small wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. There were facial features she could match with Mikey’s, but Lizzie could tell their personalities weren’t as similar, which made her stomach churn. She’d been hoping Gerard would be fun and childish like his younger brother, but that didn’t seem to be the case.  
  
“We’re not selling anything,” Jesse piped up. “I’m Jesse and this is my friend Lizzie. Mikey said he was going to give you a heads up we were coming to visit you.”  
  
“If you know Mikey then you’d know he rarely follows through with anything,” Gerard dismissed. “I haven’t heard from him in weeks, so to me you’re two teenagers at my house for no reason.”  
  
“Mikey’s a moron,” Lizzie muttered to Jesse, unimpressed.  
  
“Mikey’s also my kid _brother_ ,” Gerard emphasized to make a point, directly at Lizzie. “Why do you need to talk with me?”  
  
“I’m Nikki’s son,” Jesse spoke up again helpfully.  
  
“Oh.” Some of the little colour in Gerard’s face to begin with drained and an awkward silence took over for a few seconds. “You want to talk about Frank,” he stated perceptively.  
  
“Is that alright?” Jesse put on his charming smile just to seal the deal. “It’s just that Mikey said you might have some more information for us. You know he used to babysit me when I was little.”  
  
“I don’t know how much more information I’ll have for you, but sure,” Gerard answered casually, which threw both teenagers for a loop, because one second ago he looked about ready to slam the door in their face or chase them with an axe. He pushed the screen door open with a creak and backed up into the house to let them pass. “It probably would have been a smarter idea to call before showing up on my doorstep. Don’t you kids walk around with miniature screens programmed inside your eyelids or something? Is that a thing yet?”  
  
“And you can just think of someone and bam, you’re talking to them?” Jesse filled in with a laugh. “That’d be sweet, but alas, no. Not yet.”  
  
Gerard in turn gave him the very beginning of an amused grin. “Shoes off, please, I don’t need you tracking dirt and slush all over the floors, my wife wouldn’t be too happy about it.”  
  
“Is she home?” Lizzie jumped into the conversation and braced her hand against the wall for balance while taking her boots off. “Gloria, right?”  
  
The word hit a sensitive chord with Gerard and his body tensed. “No,” was all he answered with, however, and led them into the living room where there was a couch and a couple armchairs to sit in. The outside of the house was deceivingly dark, where the living room was brightened with highlights of floral patterns, and light coloured furniture. Gerard didn’t strike Lizzie as the kind of person to obsess over floral print so assumed it must have been his wife’s idea. But more shocking things had occurred in her life before.  
  
“Candice,” Gerard mumbled and placed three cork coasters onto the coffee table. “My wife’s name is Candice. I haven’t talked to Gloria for over half a year now. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, orange juice, water?”  
  
“Orange juice is fine by me,” Jesse nodded. “Thanks.”  
  
“Same,” Lizzie quickly added and sat tensely as Gerard exited the room before slumping back and clenching her jaw.  
  
“Smooth,” Jesse muttered quietly. “Piss the guy off before we even have time to ask him one question. Why would you assume he married Gloria? They were high school sweethearts, that doesn’t always work out you know! Not everyone can live in a cutesy young adult novel.”  
  
“I don’t know, it just came out,” Lizzie hissed. “He freaks me out. Do you think he’s going to kill us? Because I think he might actually come back in here with a shotgun.”  
  
“That’s the impression you got?” Jesse snorted laughter. “Lizzie, the man is an introverted artist. Have you checked out the walls? Look at the signature on the paintings.”  
  
Lizzie dared to glance around and realize how starkly the art on the walls clashed with the floral print armchairs and cushions. There were three paintings to be exact, all depicting what Lizzie assumed were comic characters. On the bottom right hand corner of each one scrawled under the date in black ink, like Jesse said, was Gerard’s name. “Well sorry for not being so observant of some stranger’s house we just walked into,” Lizzie argued in a whisper. “I’m a bit more concerned with weather or not he’s slipping poison into our drinks. I don’t think I’m going to drink mine, are you?”  
  
“Seriously?” Jesse rolled his eyes and looked up at Gerard who came back into the room with a tray of three glasses of orange juice.  
  
“It’s Russian Roulette with orange juice,” he explained in the nasally voice Lizzie still had yet to grow accustomed to. “There’s arsenic in one of these glasses and the fun is getting to see who drops dead after consumption.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie mumbled and squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “You have good hearing.”  
  
Gerard quirked an eyebrow but didn’t press on the subject. Instead he handed out the drinks and took a seat in one of the armchairs diagonal at either side of the sofa. He seemed reluctant to start the conversation and stared at the glass in his hand with such intensity you’d think the inanimate object would come to life.  
  
“So, this is awkward,” Jesse drew out. The comment lightened the atmosphere in the room, if only a tad, and Gerard gave a brief grin. “Should I just throw some questions out there for you to answer?”  
  
“If you don’t mind,” Gerard gestured with his hand. “It would probably save all of us a great deal of time.”  
  
“Great,” Lizzie chirped. Digging through her jean pockets she pulled out a small crumpled piece of paper and smoothed it out on the coffee table. In hasty handwriting were a list of questions for Gerard in lime green ink. It wasn’t the brightest idea to use such a clashy colour and Lizzie silently vowed never to use lime green ink in important situations again. “Uh, ok, so we want to know about California.”  
  
Gerard took a sip of his juice and carefully placed it back on its rightful coaster as the two teenagers watched him intently. Pursing his lips and leaning back in his chair, Lizzie and Jesse were doubtful he would reveal any information to them at all. The man wasn’t exactly all that talkative. At least on their choice of topic.  
  
“Was that too personal to ask?” Lizzie threw in for good measure and snuck a glance at the cat clock on the wall. It’s eyes shifted back and forth with each ticking second and was rather unnerving. Even so, it still told the time and Lizzie didn’t have all day to wait for this guy to answer one question.  
  
“I don’t know,” Gerard admitted. “It just went right for the jugular is all and I’m trying to figure out how to explain it to you.”  
  
“English would be great,” Jesse gave him the ‘ok’ sign.  
  
Licking his lips quickly Gerard sat up straighter in his chair. “What do you already know about California?”  
  
“Your _kid brother_ told us that it all started with Gloria being sent away to her grandparents and Frank being freaked out over being caught for drug dealing,” Lizzie filled in as Jesse squinted his eyes and tried to decipher the second question on the crumpled paper.  
  
“Yes, well I guess that’s right,” Gerard confirmed. “Gloria wanted to run away and I agreed to go with her because she was my girlfriend at the time. Frank made the decision to come with us in order to escape possible prosecution from the police because of a silly prank gone awry and his history of dealing.”  
  
“But what about Daphne?” Lizzie interrupted. “We know she was Frank’s girlfriend.”  
  
Gerard sunk down in his chair slowly and pursed his lips again. “Daphne came along to be with Frank. I don’t think she ever wanted to be there, to be honest with you. Yet she still came for the ride. It wasn’t the most joyful experience, for any of us. And overall it was short-lived.”  
  
“How long were you guys in California for then? You did get there didn’t you?”  
  
“After multiple bleak gas stations, camping out alongside the highway, being chased by cops and having Daphne threaten to go back home, yes we did get there. But we left California at different times, so it depends who you’re talking to. Daphne left roughly three or four weeks later, I can’t give you an exact date, because I don’t remember, nor did she feel it necessary to inform Gloria and I of her departure. The rest of us left a few days after Gloria’s eighteenth birthday on July 20th. Things weren’t working out in California and none of us were happy.”  
  
“How can you not be happy in California?” Jesse gave a light chuckle. “Surfing all day, partying all night.”  
  
“Do you have a substantial amount in your bank account for all those parties?” Gerard transitioned from eccentric artist to parental figure in under four seconds . “It’s not really something you concern yourself with much until you’re living off of cereal and tap water daily. Which is more than a lot of people can say, of course, so it’s superficial to be complaining.”  
  
“That’s what jobs are for, man,” Jesse smiled. “Didn’t you guys have jobs while you were there?”  
  
Gerard’s expression turned grave and he folded his arms defiantly. “I thought you wanted to know about your uncle.”  
  
“Technically it’s still about him,” Lizzie challenged when Jesse recoiled. “Obviously you guys must have done something for cash – even if it was just for cereal. Were you living on the street panhandling?”  
  
“Not exactly. I sold some of my art on the streets.”  
  
“So what did my uncle do?” Jesse’s eyes lit up in interest. “Did he play guitar for money? I’ve heard he was really awesome on guitar.”  
  
“None of us did anything we were proud of,” Gerard avoided the question and avoided eye contact with Jesse whose gaze was glued to the older man in the room expecting jackpot answers. “The point is we didn’t make it out in California, and when we returned things started falling apart.”  
  
“But those are exactly the things I want to know,” Jesse piped up enthusiastically. “I want to know what happened to you guys on the road and in California. You probably have some pretty awesome stories mixed in along with the bad ones. You can’t just go on some huge road trip across the country and not return with at least one good and crazy story.”  
  
Gerard scratched the back of his head and glanced up at the cat clock for the time. Evidently he had plans and Lizzie assumed he was going to kick them out soon. “To be candid with you, Jesse, it’s very difficult to recall anything positive about the journey, because it’s so tarnished from the end results. We were very excited to arrive there. And along the way I remember we got Daphne to drive – something she was terrible at. I remember laughing during those moments, but as great as those moments were, were as bad as they became.”  
  
“How so then?” Jesse held his arms open, exasperated and fed up with all the tidbits of information given to him. That’s all it ever was; small hints or clues but never the full picture. It was frustrating and futile. “Come on, man, you’re one of the only people who can give me information and you’re holding back? I get that it was tough, but why? What happened?”  
  
Gerard sighed slowly, exhausted from the sheer conversation even occurring. Memory lane was a trip he didn’t often take, and when he did it was riddled with little hand grenades of powerful impact that left him feeling miserable and guilty.  
  
Lizzie cocked her head to the side curiously as she studied the expression on the older man’s face. The seconds dragged by and instead of being rude by staring Lizzie studied the surroundings of the living room more closely. Pictures set along the mantelpiece, encased in antique frames, showed off smiling faces of what could only be assumed to be relatives and friends. Part of Lizzie expected to find a photograph of Frank or the gang, but the only face she recognized upon a glance was Mikey in an old family shot. Even Lizzie had a couple framed pictures of old friends in her room. They were people she barely talked to anymore, but they were still a part of her memory and she didn’t want those memories to venture too far away. It was sad to think of Gerard not having a single happy memory left from his teenaged years that he wanted preserved amongst all his other photographs.  
  
“Are the two of you dating?” Gerard finally asked after lighting up a cigarette.  
  
“No,” Jesse answered for the both of them. “Common misconception.”  
  
“Friends?” Gerard quirked an eyebrow.  
  
“Sure,” Lizzie answered this time, which shocked Jesse he gave her a surprised look.  
  
Gerard’s eyes darted between the two teenagers briefly before he began speaking again. “We stayed with a drug abuser while we were in California, and to help pay the bills I began selling art. Gloria started selling her body and Frank started dealing again. We ran so hard and wound up back where we started – that’s how it felt. Gloria was even worse off, and even to this day I sometimes wonder whether or not it would have been such a bad idea for her to have gone to live with her grandparents for that year in Chicago.”  
  
Lizzie’s heart jolted with sadness and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Girls who prostituted themselves were disgusting and slutty – at least that’s what she always told herself, and despised the thought of anyone she knew throwing themselves to the wolves like Gloria had. Yet Lizzie had never been in Gloria’s shoes, and maybe if she was living their experienced desperation she too would have done the same. There was no larger defeat than swallowing your own morals.  
  
“So what was the point?” Jesse got up from the couch and began to pace in the small space between the coffee table and the door. “Why run from dealing when all you’re going to do is start dealing again?”  
  
“Frank was desperate to make things work out,” Gerard explained carefully and exhaled smoke off to the side, his eyes landing on the cat clock again. “If we weren’t making money out there then the only choice was to return back home. Jobs were slim and so Frank did what he knew how to do in order to get a good sum of cash in limited time.”  
  
“What did Daphne do?” Lizzie asked. “Why did she leave before the rest of you?”  
  
“She claimed to be working at a diner, but then again Gloria told us the same and she was actually out working the streets. I can only assume that’s what Daphne did as well, because the last time I ever saw her was the afternoon before she took off. Frank never really explained why to me, and I think it’s because he couldn’t articulate or understand why exactly himself. He might have talked to Gloria about it in more depth, but as I understand it Daphne was stressed out, homesick and wanted to break up with him.”  
  
“So what did Frank start doing once you were back in Jersey?” Jesse didn’t leave room for somber silence. “Same routine?”  
  
“Instead of moving back in with Nikki he moved in with his grandparents,” Gerard shrugged. “I didn’t see much of him in the last few months – only here and there. Daphne’s family had moved without a word to anyone and I think that really took its toll on him. But I don’t think he went back to dealing. Through the grapevine I heard he’d landed a part time job at a local record store courtesy of an ex bandmate.”  
  
“What happened with you and Gloria?” Lizzie’s voice was soft as she rest her chin in the palm of her hand.  
  
“Gloria and I weren’t ever meant to end up together,” Gerard dismissed. “We were a high school fling, and when we returned to Jersey it was argument after argument with her. She moved in with a cousin of hers for a while to save up some money and I moved back home. She lives in New York now – ever since she was nineteen - and runs a beauty and boutique salon. We keep in touch…barely.”  
  
Lizzie and Jesse exchanged a silent look just as the cat clock meowed, signaling a new hour.  
  
“I don’t mean to be rude, but my wife is going to be home soon and we have a dinner to attend this evening,” Gerard explained as he leaned forward to snub out his cigarette in the ashtray. “So I apologize for cutting this meeting short.”  
  
“There’s really only one more thing we need to know,” Lizzie pushed a pen and notepad across the table.  
  
“Where can we find Gloria?” Jesse finished.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The screen door to the house creaked shut after Gerard bid them farewell and both Jesse and Lizzie stood in a daze at the top of the stairs. “So he died of a drug overdose.”  
  
“He died in a car crash,” Lizzie corrected.  
  
“Probably because he was on drugs.”  
  
Lizzie heaved a sigh and kicked at a pile of snow, sending a cloud of sparkling dust out in front of them. “Gerard is weird. I’m pretty sure Bob was even more welcoming than him, and he practically growled at us. Frank and your mom had some crazy friends.”  
  
“Gerard was really reluctant to tell us much.”  
  
“Mikey said he would be. I guess some real shitty things happened to them in California. We’ll find out more from Gloria.”  
  
“Yeah, about that,” Jesse began and carefully clomped down the icy stairs. “I don’t think it’s worth it going to see her. It’s like, an hour commute and then tracking down her store… Who’s to say she’ll tell us more than Gerard just did anyway.”  
  
“And who’s to say she wouldn’t?” Lizzie’s face grew warm in a combination of panic and anger. There was no way she could venture to New York alone. Not when she was still only figuring out Jersey’s transit system. Jesse had been to New York multiple times and while he wasn’t an expert, he still had a greater understanding about its surroundings than Lizzie did.  
  
“I don’t even know what we’re trying to find out anymore, Lizzie.”  
  
“Don’t you want to know where he was going the night he died? Or what really happened in California?”  
  
“What does it matter where he was going? He still died in that crash. End of story. Emotions were high strung in California and they all got sick of each other, that’s the way I see it. Anyone would go a bit crazy in the situation they were in. Frank didn’t know how to cope and so they came back defeated. I don’t really have much more to find out.”  
  
“Not even why music meant so much to him? Or how he got his band off the ground? Or where he got his style from? Or what his favourite kind of movies were?”  
  
“Yeah, ok,” Jesse gave a bitter laugh and shrugged, “but those are all personal questions. I can’t get the real true to the heart answers I’d want to hear from all his friends. It’d have to come from him, and that’s not possible.”  
  
Lizzie followed Jesse’s tracks through the snow without another word until they reached the gate. There was a risk letting Jesse meet Frank, but maybe it was a risk worth taking. She did, after all, still have an ongoing deal with Jesse to let him see the house in exchange for the photograph of Frank and Daphne. The worst case scenario would be that Jesse thought she was a lunatic, or that he was going mental. The best case scenario was Jesse would get to ask Frank all the questions he’d ever wanted answers to, and would get to meet the uncle he always wished was present in his life.  
  
“My brother’s going over to the neighbour’s tomorrow for some Friday night video game marathon or something and my mom has a get together with her friends after work. If we’re giving up on this hunt for information then I want that photograph back.”  
  
“Are you inviting me over?” Jesse grinned.  
  
“Don’t,” Lizzie pointed at him seriously, “fucking look at me like that. Or I’ll rip you a new. I want that picture, so tomorrow after school I’ll let you into the house to look around a bit, and I’ll show you what it is I found of Frank’s. But then that’s it. You hand over the picture and it’s sayonara.”  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
When Lizzie opened her eyes the next morning, it wasn’t to a blaring alarm clock like it normally was. Instead it was to a pair of hazel eyes staring right into hers, a wash of cold and a playful smirk.  
  
“Jesus Christ,” Lizzie startled and bolt up in bed, right through her ghostly friend. The cold hit her like a ton of bricks and Frank rolled off to the side of the bed laughing. “What the hell is wrong with you?”  
  
“I take it you don’t like my alarm clock substitution?”  
  
“No!”  
  
Frank smiled and sat cross-legged on her bed. “You have to admit it sure woke you up though. I don’t see you hitting the snooze button.”  
  
“Do you have one?” Lizzie grumbled and flung her blankets off to step out of bed before glancing at the clock. “Shit! Frank! I’m going to be late for school! Don’t fuck around with my alarm clock!”  
  
“Relax,” he waved her off and practically glided across the room to her closet where he pulled out a complete outfit for her to wear. “I picked out your clothes for today and I made your lunch for you last night. So you have time to spare, actually.”  
  
Lizzie stared at Frank oddly and shook her head. “Please don’t go turning into my mother, Frank, I don’t think I could deal with that.”  
  
“I don’t know, you’ve seemed kind of stressed out lately, I thought I’d try and ease your mind a bit.”  
  
Lizzie weakly smiled and spared a few seconds to give him a hug of thanks. “You’re really sweet, Frankie.”  
  
“I know, I know,” he giggled and gently squirmed out of her embrace. “I am, I’m amazing, I’m charming and perfect and fantastic and-“  
  
“And oh so humble,” Lizzie snorted.  
  
“And that too,” his voice softened. “Hey, Liz, do you really think it’s such a great idea bringing Jesse over? I get that you have this thing for him, but why do you want me to meet him? Look, if you want to be alone with him I’ll stay up in the attic and blare music on my MP3PO.”  
  
“Ew, no,” Lizzie quickly disagreed. “I want you to meet him because I think you and him could be good friends. It’s not fair that I’m the only person you have to hang out with. Jesse has pretty good taste in music and likes some of the same things you do.”  
  
“…If you say so,” Frank caved in. “But my offer still stands if you want me to get lost. Maybe we should invent a sign. Like…”  
  
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder to see why Frank had grown silent and quickly averted her gaze again. “You’re disgusting. Stop touching yourself.”  
  
Frank giggled. “Maybe a verbal sign then. Like, you can yell out ‘ghost’ and I’ll disappear before your very eyes, literally. He’ll think he’s on a mind trip.”  
  
“When I get back from school with him all I want you to do is wait in the bedroom. I’ll introduce you as a family friend who’s staying with us for a bit. But just wait in here, ok? Don’t wander.”  
  
Frank pushed the curtains open to let the dim lighting in and took a seat next to the plant on the ledge. “I’ll be here waiting. Don’t worry.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie had felt like time was passing slowly until she decided to let Jesse meet Frank. Then time sailed by without her knowing. One second class was starting and the next thing she knew the last class of the day was coming to an end.  
  
Teenagers hurried down the halls, eager to start the weekend, except for one boy who was leaned up against her locker waiting with a bright smile on his face.  
  
“How was class?” he greeted.  
  
Already dressed in his winter gear Lizzie guessed he must have been let out of class early. Still, she took her time gathering her own belongings. Once Jesse set eyes on Frank that could be the very end of her friendship with him, or the very beginning of one the two boys would form. Lizzie hoped it was the latter for everyone’s sake.  
  
“Do you have the picture?” she stalled for time and wrapped and rewrapped her scarf around her neck twice.  
  
Jesse dug around in his backpack to retrieve the photograph and held it up as proof triumphantly. “Aaaahhh,” he added just for kicks. “Is your mind settled now?”  
  
“As much as it’ll ever be letting you creep around my house, I guess,” Lizzie shrugged and closed her locker. “I do have a family friend who’s in town and staying with us a few days, just a heads up. I think you two will get along though, so once you’re done snooping we can all hang out for a bit…if you want.”  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Jesse smiled. “Meeting Lizzie Silver’s friend. I didn’t know you had any.”  
  
“Watch it,” Lizzie shoved his arm. “We’re still not in the house yet, I can easily call this off.”  
  
“I’m kidding,” Jesse shoved her arm back playfully. “Onward!”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“Take your shoes off,” Lizzie instructed as soon as they’d walked through the front door. “My mom will kill me if I let you track snow all over the place.”  
  
“I wasn’t about to,” Jesse answered and left his shoes by the door. “Do you judge all guys as being slobs?”  
  
“Whatever, I’m just saying leave your shoes there and follow me. Don’t touch anything.”  
  
Jesse cocked an eyebrow and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yes ma’am, no touchy. No evidence.”  
  
“This is the living room. Some of the furniture was here when we moved in, it was sketchy. Upstairs is where it got more sketchy, because I found a room full of stuff; clothes, music, posters and other things. I’ll show you.”  
  
Lizzie’s nerves picked up with each step she took through the living room and up the stairs. Jesse followed her, his eyes scanning the walls curiously. It was so quiet in the house that Lizzie was sure he’d be able to hear her breathing, and that’s what made it that more difficult to maintain a normal breathing pattern.  
  
“It’s weird,” Jesse gave a laugh that interrupted the heavy silence. “So quiet. Kind of…”  
  
Lizzie waited for Jesse to find the right word on his own, knowing what it was he was racking his brain for.  
  
“Haunting,” he concluded.  
  
“I got the same feeling when I first got here,” Lizzie answered. “But there were cobwebs and dust, and it smelled like mothballs, so that probably added to the ambiance a little.”  
  
“A lot,” Jesse corrected as they reached the door to her bedroom.  
  
Lizzie had to take in a calming breath of air before pushing her bedroom door open for Jesse. She knew there was no proper way to prepare him for meeting his dead uncle, and she figured it would be a better scenario if Jesse thought he himself was crazy instead of thinking she was crazy for giving him warning.  
  
Frank sat at the ledge by the window as Lizzie had asked him to be when Jesse came in and automatically she felt like she’d approached the entire case wrong, because Jesse looked horrified and Frank looked confused by the boy’s reaction to him.  
  
“What the hell is this, Lizzie?” Jesse quickly accused and frowned. “Is this supposed to be a joke? Did you ask someone to- Jesus! I trusted you and you just-“  
  
“Listen,” Lizzie quickly reasoned when Jesse turned to leave. She gripped his arm tightly and glanced at the perplexed ghost now standing by her bed. “This is not a joke, Jesse, and you have to believe me! Because I thought it was a prank at first too, but it’s not, and he’s really here. He’s dead and all, but he’s here. A ghost. He’s a ghost.”  
  
Jesse, to Lizzie’s alarm looked a slew of emotions, and there was no telling which was going to win him over. For a moment he looked ready to cry and the next he looked about to vomit, but it was awe and fear that finally set in place as he stared across the room at Frank in a lingering silence.  
  
Frank stood completely still as he eyed the boy back. “Liz, are you going to fill me in or are we playing twenty questions? It’s not every day I have this kind of effect on a teenage boy, and you didn’t give me the fuckin’ heads up that we were telling him about my deadness.”  
  
It took a moment for Lizzie to even process Frank’s babbling, because she was so set on making sure Jesse didn’t bolt out of her bedroom. “You said you always wanted to meet him,” she spoke gently. “This is your chance.”  
  
“Is this real?” Jesse whispered and rubbed at his eyes. “He’s there.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Yeah, woohoo, right here,” Frank waved his hand lazily and with very little enthusiasm. “Still out of the loop and all, pretty boy. Lizzie, are you sure you want to be fixed on a guy who can’t fathom the paranormal? It’s not that difficult.”  
  
“Frankie,” Lizzie gave him a look that told him it really wasn’t the time for snarky remarks.  
  
“I’m just sayin’!” Frank moved forward and scrutinized Jesse with the likes of a father about to interrogate his daughter’s first date. “What band is this?” Frank settled for asking as he reached out and tugged none too gently at Jesse’s sleeve. “I haven’t heard of them before, are they new? What genre?”  
  
Lizzie eyed Jesse worriedly, unsure of how he would react to the physical contact. To her surprise and delight he gave a small laugh, though choked. “They’re a local band,” Jesse managed to explain. “Post hardcore.”  
  
“So you’re Jesse, huh?” Frank jumped topics. “Lizzie said you and I would get along, but she failed to mention she was going to let you in on my ghostliness.” He directed his gaze to Lizzie and gave her a hard stare before quirking an eyebrow. “Why are we letting him in on my ghostliness, Elizabeth?”  
  
Lizzie moved forward and took hold of Frank’s hand to lead him back toward the window. “Don’t be mad.”  
  
“I don’t like how this conversation is starting.”  
  
“Remember how we agreed I would help you? Well I’ve sort of being doing all that behind your back since October and there’s a lot I’ve found out without you knowing. I’ve met with Ray, Bob, Mikey and Gerard.“  
  
“What?” Frank’s eyes grew wide in a mixture of surprise, hurt and anger. “Why would you do that? Why would you do that and not _tell_ me?”  
  
“And I found out you have a sister,” Lizzie continued her story anyway. She needed to get it out in the open, because the longer she dragged it all out the more nervous every party in the room would become. “I found out about Nikki, so I-“  
  
Frank quickly summed up the rest on his own and peered around Lizzie to Jesse before a whole new look set into his eyes. Admiration, sadness, but mostly a sudden onset feeling of pride and love set into place as he began to see what he’d so quickly looked over before; reminders of Nikki. “Is this my nephew?” his eyes glazed over and he suddenly found it difficult to keep his voice leveled. “Is that what you’re going to tell me, Lizzie? Is Jesse Nikki’s son?”  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie squeaked. “We’ve been working as a team to learn about you, Frankie. About your past, because you’re so goddamn stubborn and won’t tell me. And Jesse- He’s always wanted to meet you, so I figured why shouldn’t he get the chance?”  
  
Lizzie had never seen Frank look so afraid and nervous before as he began to pace back and forth in front of her. When his hands reached up to grip his hair she glanced over her shoulder to Jesse who looked to be in a similar state, though frozen on the spot and rubbing furiously at his eyes - urging himself to wake up from the freaky dream he must be having.  
  
“Does Nikki know?” Frank asked so suddenly Lizzie staggered backward. “Does she know what you’re doing?”  
  
“I met her, but no she doesn’t know. It’s just been Jesse and I meeting with people. Nikki has no idea. At least I don’t think she does.”  
  
“No,” Jesse’s voice broke into their conversation. His eyes were red from rubbing at them, but he appeared more relaxed and was staring at Frank calmly, though still in disbelief. “Mom doesn’t know.”  
  
“Nikki’s a mom,” Frank’s voice was choked.  
  
“She has two sons,” Lizzie spoke so softly she was barely audible. Nothing seemed like an appropriate thing to say as Frank battled with his emotions and the temperature in the room began to drop. Lizzie was used to the sudden change, but Jesse wasn’t, and he glanced around in uncertainty.  
  
Frank finally settled down at the edge of the bed and swallowed thickly. “Jesse.” He wasn’t speaking to anyone, but just saying the name aloud as if testing the sound of it. “Jesse and?”  
  
“Aaron,” Jesse answered. “He’s a few years younger than me.”  
  
“You’re an uncle,” Lizzie smiled weakly and nudged Frank’s arm. “Did you ever envision that?”  
  
“I don’t know,” he muttered. “Yes, no. I thought about Nikki maybe getting married one day, and I guess I pondered whether or not she’d have kids, but, it was never a real thing. This is real.” Frank spoke as if he was the only one in the room – answering Lizzie’s question, but not focused on her. “How is Nikki? Is she alright? Is she married? Where does she work?”  
  
“Sh-she’s ok,” Jesse stuttered and fidgeted on the spot nervously. A mixture of empathy and guilt mixed around in Lizzie’s subconscious, because she was the reason both boys in the room were so weighed down with heavy emotions. Frank was learning about the future he was never a part of and Jesse was having a conversation with his dead relative. It was both bizarre and heart wrenching for Lizzie who felt like she should leave the room.  
  
“She was married….to my dad, but they got divorced when I was little,” Jesse continued shakily. “Uh, she works two jobs now at a clothing store and diner. To make ends meet. I help out a bit. But, uh, we kind of just keep to ourselves? I don’t really see my dad anymore and mom’s family- I mean-“  
  
“We don’t have much of one,” Frank muttered miserably. “We never did.”  
  
A silence fell between the two boys until Frank picked up the conversation again. “Is the gang still around? Do you see them?”  
  
“The gang, no? Do you mean Mikey and Ray and those people?”  
  
“Yeah. Gerard, Gloria, Bob...”  
  
“Mikey used to babysit me and Ray fixed our computer a couple times, but that’s it.”  
  
“Fuck,” Frank rubbed at his face in what looked like exhaustion, regardless of never tiring.  
  
“Frank, it’s ok,” Lizzie tried to coax but immediately backed up when Frank shot her a furious look. Frank had looked angry before, but this was a whole new level.  
  
“Really?” he snapped. “My sister’s working two shitty jobs to take care of her family and has zero support other than from her own son who probably works another shitty job to help pay for rent and essentials.”  
  
Jesse, to Lizzie’s surprise, stepped closer and looked ready to defend – but who she wasn’t sure. “It’s not like no one has offered to help. Ray’s always trying to help, but mom always turns him away.”  
  
“Well she would turn him away,” Frank narrowed his eyes. “Ray didn’t leave on good terms with us. What about Gloria? Where the fuck has she been?”  
  
“She lives in New York,” Lizzie squeaked. In all the outcomes she’d predicted in her mind, she hadn’t expected Frank to be so accusing and sharp toward Jesse who didn’t know much more that she herself did. “We just found out.”  
  
“New York?” Frank winced. “Why New York?”  
  
“She owns a jewellery shop or something,” Jesse filled in carefully, his eyes wide in what Lizzie could only describe as horror. He was probably regretting ever wanting to know his uncle. “That’s all I know right now though. Mom doesn’t exactly talk about the past. I know very little about these people…and you.”  
  
“Me?” Frank’s voice broke and Lizzie could almost feel his heart break. “Nikki doesn’t talk about me?”  
  
“Yeah, well why should she?” Jesse’s voice hitched – his face contorted in anger and sadness. “You were so stupid! You just got all drugged up and drove into a blizzard! And no one knows where you were going but my mom, and she won’t talk about it! And the last memory she has of you is from when you were both fighting, apparently! So why should she talk about her selfish, prick of brother who was stupid enough to go get killed and leave her alone?”  
  
Lizzie felt her skin sting. It felt like she had been slapped, but the feeling was spreading throughout her body both numb and cold. Her hands shook with shivers and her fingertips were taking on a whitish appearance. Growing up in Dakota, Lizzie knew the symptoms well and quickly pulled Jesse out of the room by the arm.  
  
Disgruntled, he made a poor effort of shaking her off, but soon gave in and allowed her to tug him right out the front door onto the porch, only pausing to pull their shoes back on. It was winter, but even outside felt warmer than inside. “You can’t do that,” she swatted at his arm. “You can’t just- No!”  
  
“What’s your problem?” Jesse shouted. “What the fuck is going on?!”  
  
Jesse sat slouched over on the front steps and covered his head with his arms, sobs racking through his body and Lizzie felt helpless. “I think he knows he fucked up,” Lizzie whimpered and crossed her arms tightly against her body. “He doesn’t need it pointed out to him like that. And how would you feel if you died and found out the people you loved didn’t even talk about you anymore?”  
  
“He’s such a jerk.”  
  
“He’s upset,” Lizzie grit her teeth. “So are you. I’m sorry! I thought this was going to be a good thing, but maybe I shouldn’t have told you about this at all.”  
  
“Why’s he here?” Jesse took in a deep breath of air to level his voice and calm down. “Why’s he a ghost?”  
  
“I think it has something to do with Daphne,” Lizzie explained carefully. “I don’t know for sure, that’s why I need your help. I think we need to find her-“  
  
“So that’s why we’ve been meeting with all his friends? It’s not about getting to know Frank, it’s about finding Daphne?”  
  
“Frankie won’t talk about his past,” Lizzie mumbled. “He gets upset when I bring it up and has only told me little things – good things. I don’t know anything more than you do.”  
  
“But you do,” Jesse’s voice relaxed, albeit miserably. “You know _him_.”  
  
“So why don’t you get to know him? Just like this. He loves talking about music and has a really racy sense of humour. You can ask him about guitar! Just like you said you’ve always wanted to! Maybe he can teach you a little bit!”  
  
Jesse gave a small sigh and nodded. “I guess. But what about all the rest of this? Are we going to find Daphne?”  
  
“Let’s just forget about it for a bit. Let’s just hang out with Frank. He’s really awesome, Jesse. He’s my best friend.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The mugs of hot chocolate kept Lizzie and Jesse’s hands warm as they slowly made their way back up the staircase. Jesse’s face was still a bit tear-stained, and he’d blushed red in embarrassment when Lizzie handed him some tissues earlier.  
  
As predicted, the house was still freezing and they’d pulled on their jackets to keep warm. Jesse had looked shaken when he saw the windows frosted over and asked Lizzie for more information. She’d then calmly explained the weirdness of Frank’s ability to control the temperature in the house, and that it was a supernatural thing she couldn’t even wrap her mind around.  
  
Frank wasn’t in the bedroom when they got there and Lizzie asked her guest to wait while she climbed up to the attic. Yet Frank wasn’t there either and Lizzie felt a panic set in place. “Frank?” she squeaked quietly. “Frankie are you here?”  
  
“Yeah,” his voice came out a garbled mess and he appeared slowly, his back resting against the wall near the window. “Not like I can go anywhere.”  
  
Lizzie made her way over to sit next to him and without thinking too much, rest her head on his shoulder. “It’s freezing in the house, stop it. I even got frostbite, see?” She wiggled her fingers in front of his face and Frank gave a weak, but real chuckle.  
  
“Sorry. It’s just that he’s right. He’s so right, and that hurts. Nikki deserves so much better in life than what she’s been given, and I guess I always hoped that she would have gone off to lead the life she wanted. But she hasn’t – or she was and didn’t get there. What if I’m the reason for that, Lizzie? I have to be the reason if she won’t even talk about me to her own kids.”  
  
“Is that seriously what you think?” Lizzie eyed him, stunned. “You think that she doesn’t talk about you because she blames you?”  
  
“Why else wouldn’t she?” Frank spoke determinedly. “If this was all reversed and I was alive and Nikki was…gone, I’d want my kids to know all about her.”  
  
Lizzie hugged tightly to Frank’s arm, afraid that he might leave when she spoke next. “I think that, the reason Nikki doesn’t talk about you, and from what I’ve gathered from what your friends have said about you, is that you were and are too loved. And sometimes it’s easier not to talk about your love for something or someone than it is to freely express it. Isn’t that why you won’t talk about Daphne?”  
  
Frank gave a bitter laugh in response to Lizzie’s speech. “I don’t talk about Daphne because I destroyed her life, Lizzie.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	19. Chapter 19

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"I Wanna Yell" - Billie Hughes (From 'Little Monsters'. One of my favourite films as a kid. It explains my fascination with the type of horror films I like)._
  * _"There Will Never Be Another Tonight" - Bryan Adams_
  * _"Opening theme from 'Return of the Living Dead'_



.......................................................................................................................................

 

Jesse was waiting patiently in the middle of Lizzie’s bedroom when he heard the attic stairs creak. Brushing at his sleeves he stood up straight as if ready to greet a drill sergeant and not his teenage uncle.  
  
Lizzie took the stairs slowly and when she reached the bottom pursed her lips, trying to gather together a collection of words that would reassure Jesse that Frank would just need some time.  
  
“Where’s Frank?” Jesse asked first and allowed his body to slouch slightly when he realized his uncle wasn’t about to follow behind Lizzie.  
  
“I think that he just needs a couple days,” she shrugged as nonchalant as possible. “Today was pretty rough… Why don’t you come hang out here again in a couple days and maybe he’ll be up to it?”  
  
“What?” Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “No way, Lizzie! Well I’m not going anywhere. I’ll sit here if I have to.”  
  
And he did. Right in the middle of Lizzie’s floor, arms folded and acting every bit a stubborn child as he could muster. For a moment Lizzie stared at him, a mixture of surprise and bewilderment as if he couldn’t possibly be serious. Not ‘cool as a cucumber Jesse’ who never seemed to fret over much else than whether or not his skateboard was in the same place he left it last. Yet Frank and Frank’s presence surfaced every ill-feeling Jesse had ever had in his life.  
  
“So you’re just going to sit in the middle of my bedroom then?”  
  
“Looks that way,” he answered without his gaze ever leaving the closet. “He has to come down from there eventually.”  
  
Lizzie let out a brief giggle before clapping a hand over her mouth when Jesse narrowed his eyes on her. “Sorry… Just- Well…he’s a ghost. Technically he could stay up in the attic unseen forever if he wanted. He doesn’t need to eat, sleep or use the washroom. If anyone’s going to win this contest it’s him.”  
  
“Then it’s on,” Jesse muttered and shifted around before holding a frozen pose – his back so straight you’d think he had a broomstick up his shirt.  
  
Lizzie stood next to her bed and contemplated actually dragging the boy out of her room, but decided Jesse would put up too big a fight. “You’re actually just going to sit there?”  
  
“Yup,” he nodded and waved her off. “Carry on with whatever you do after school like I’m not here.”  
  
“Usually I hang out with Frank,” Lizzie muttered and plunked down on her bed next to her backpack. “My mom’s going to question why you’re sitting in my middle of my bedroom floor when she gets home you know. Exactly what am I supposed to say to her?”  
  
“That your eccentric friend Jesse cannot be disturbed when in one of his trances.”  
  
“I’m sure that’ll go over well,” Lizzie huffed and pulled her binder out of her backpack in order to get some homework done. If Jesse was going to hold himself hostage in her bedroom then at least she could kill time by completing her math homework before the weekend even truly began.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
After the first hour drifted by Lizzie was continuously looking up at Jesse to remind herself he was still there, seated in the middle of her bedroom as he was, though he was beginning to slouch over more and more from exhaustion.  
  
Tapping her pencil against her paper she puckered her lips and glanced to the clock. “Are you hungry?”  
  
Jesse gave a start and glanced over his shoulder. “I could eat.”  
  
Lizzie began to get up, her legs tangled up in the sheets of her bed causing a near stumble before she stabilized herself and moved toward the door. “Uh, what did you want to eat?  
  
“Whatever you have is fine.”  
  
“I thought I’d order something. Do you like pizza?”  
  
“Who in their right mind doesn’t like pizza?” Jesse gave a small laugh. “I have yet to meet the human being who denies a slice of heavenly pizza pie.”  
  
“I usually just get pepperoni, is that alright with you?”  
  
“Sounds even better,” he enthused and directed his attention back to the closet.  
  
The floor creaked in the familiar spots as Lizzie made her way down the hallway to the stairs. She didn’t exactly like making phone calls in front of her own family, let alone Jesse, so she decided to make the call downstairs in the kitchen instead.  
  
Turning the corner her heart gave a leap to find Frank seated on the kitchen counter. “You asshole! What’re you doing? How did you get out of the room without us knowing?”  
  
“Lizzie Silver, I’m heartbroken. We’ve known each other for a few months now and you still don’t remember this about me?”  
  
No matter how many times Lizzie had seen him do it, it was always jarring to watch Frank fade in thin air and reappear again somewhere else. “I’ll give it to the kid, he sticks to his guns,” he muttered.  
  
Lizzie gave a heavy sigh and moved around Frank to grab the phone out of its cradle. Her action ceased when Frank grabbed for her wrist and pulled her back gently. “You’re mad.”  
  
“Why would I be mad?” Lizzie carefully pulled her hand away. “I’m not mad! I guess I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I get why you’re upset but I also get why he’s upset and is camping out in my bedroom waiting for you to show up again.”  
  
Frank slumped back against the fridge and ran a hand through his hair. “That’s my nephew. He’s your age now and I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to say to him after being absent his entire life. Technically I still am - I’m not supposed to be involved.”  
  
“Well now you get to be,” Lizzie frowned. “So man up and be his forever nineteen year old uncle. He wants to ask you questions and I think he has every right to.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie stayed downstairs waiting for the pizza to arrive, leaving Jesse alone in her bedroom for nearly an hour. A few times she wondered if he was actually still sitting perfectly still in the middle of the floor, or if he’d taken to snooping around. Oddly enough the thought of him looking around her room a bit didn’t bother her; probably because living with a ghost didn’t leave her much privacy to begin with. She was sure Frank had snooped through everything from information on her laptop to her underwear drawer by now.  
  
Frank had since vanished again, probably back up to the attic to ponder the words she’d spat at him earlier. What she knew for sure was that the temperature in the house had warmed up and she abandoned her jacket on the couch to venture up the stairs with the pizza in hand.  
  
Jesse was in mid action of watering the plant on the windowsill when Lizzie returned with the food. He froze as if being caught in the middle of a horrendous crime and flashed her an apologetic smile.  
  
“Did your ass get sore sitting on the floor so long?” Lizzie questioned.  
  
“More like I became overly concerned for your poor dying plant here. Don’t you water it?”  
  
“Not you too,” Lizzie laughed. “Frank’s always freaking out over that plant. It’s just a plant.”  
  
“Still a living thing,” he countered and finished pouring the contents of the watering can with a weak smile creeping across his lips, though it was hardly the bright smile Lizzie was so accustomed to seeing him produce. It was the first indication that something wasn’t right, and it didn’t take mathematic formulas and Shakespearean sonnets to pinpoint what.  
  
“He might still show up?” Lizzie tried to up his spirits again, because the idea of a saddened Jesse ate away at her like acid.  
  
“So you have a ledge in your bedroom,” Jesse changed the topic and took the slice of pizza she offered to him on a plate.  
  
“More like a nook, but I’ll let it slide.”  
  
Jesse shifted around awkwardly on the spot and moved around her room before pausing at her dresser to examine the pictures set on it. “Dakota friends?”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
Jesse ducked his head down to get a better look, his dark hair falling in his face as he did so. “So you had this whole group of friends back home, but you still refuse to come hang out with my friends and I in the cafeteria.”  
  
“I’ve known my friends in Dakota my whole life.”  
  
Jesse’s expression grew perplexed and he stood upright before speaking again. “You do know it’s ok to make new friends too, right? More the merrier!”  
  
Lizzie snorted and moved over on her bed. “You can sit down if you want. Just don’t slop pizza sauce on the sheets.”  
  
Taking her up on the invitation Jesse sat down at the edge of the bed and the two ate their dinner with minimal conversation and with Lizzie eyeing the clock nervously; wondering when it was her mother was going to get home exactly, and what she might do when she found out a boy had been up in her bedroom when no one else was home. She knew her dad would flip out, but her mom had always been a bit lenient, and instead just made sure Lizzie was well aware of the consequences of rash decisions.  
  
When Jesse leaned back to grab another slice of pizza his arm grazed hers and Lizzie wondered whether or not Nikki had ever had a similar discussion with her son.  
  
“So you’re still here, huh?” Frank’s voice carried across the room and Jesse fumbled with the pizza in his hand, dropping it right back into the box upside down with a small splat. His eyes darted around the room, wide and panicked until they settled on Frank who stood against the doorframe of the closet, arms crossed coolly and his expression a nonchalant mask for how he really felt.  
  
“Yeah,” Jesse quickly moved off the bed and wiped any excess grease from the pizza onto his jeans. “Yeah, I- I’m still here,” he stammered nervously and stuck his hand out in front of him as some sort of peace offering.  
  
Frank stood unnaturally still before slowly approaching his nephew, as if the kid would pounce or disappear. Nikki’s son. His sister was a mother to not one, but two boys. Frank’s composed form began to falter and Lizzie noticed his hand shaking as he accepted Jesse’s polite gesture.  
  
“I’m sorry about what I said…before,” Jesse’s voice wavered. “Just…weird. This is weird.”  
  
“Forget it,” Frank dismissed. “You were right anyway.”  
  
“I still shouldn’t have said it without ever talking to you first. I mean- I mean, you’re dead.”  
  
“I like how you get right to the point. Yes, I am.”  
  
Jesse took a step backwards and desperately searched around the room again, as if all the answers or correct questions to ask were in the air to grasp. “Uh, I don’t know.”  
  
“Me neither, man,” Frank gave a small laugh. “Lizzie told me you have things you want to know about me.”  
  
“Can you teach me to play guitar?” Jesse blurted out the very first question that came to mind. “I know you play. You were in a band.”  
  
Frank blinked slowly, “What, like in one night? Gotta break it to ya, kid, it takes a bit longer than that to master guitar.”  
  
“I’ve got time,” Jesse shrugged. “You’ve been stuck in this house for years, are you planning on disappearing tomorrow?”  
  
A slow grin formed across Frank’s lips.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
A couple hours later and the house was filled with the whine of guitar, so loud that Lizzie could barely make out the phone ringing. Jesse had run home to get his guitar, because as Frank had stated, he didn’t know whatever happened to his. So it was pretty exciting for everyone when Jesse showed up with the guitar to discover that it had belonged to Frank to begin with.  
  
“She kept it,” Frank’s voice was filled with pure love and happiness. “Nikki actually kept it!”  
  
“She gave it to me for my tenth birthday,” Jesse had explained. “But she never told me where exactly it came from.”  
  
“Even the stickers I put on it are still here! Fuck, this is awesome!”  
  
“Turn it down,” Lizzie yelled over the guitar blaring from the amp. “I’m trying to answer the phone!”  
  
Her words fell on preoccupied ears because neither teenage boy paid her the slightest bit of attention as Frank played along to a Black Sabbath song and Jesse watched in awe. Apparently Jesse had never took much interested in the guitar growing up, but now he was kicking himself for it watching his uncle skillfully pluck at the strings and form sloppy, but perfect melodies. It appeared dying wasn’t even enough to muddle up his talent on the instrument.  
  
Lizzie slammed her bedroom door shut and hurried downstairs instead to answer the phone, and even then she took the phone outside to hear. “Hello?”  
  
“What took you so long?” Olivia chuckled over the phone. “Did you fall asleep early?”  
  
“No… Just had the music on a bit too loud I guess, I’ll turn it down.”  
  
“Ok, well I’m just calling to let you know that I’ll be spending the night over at my friend’s house here. I’ve had a glass of wine too many and don’t trust myself to drive. And we’re having a great girls night. Will you be alright at home alone for the night? Call your brother home if you’re bothered. I don’t know if he’s planning on coming home tonight or just staying at Trent’s.”  
  
“I’ll be fine, mom,” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “I’ve been home alone the night before.”  
  
“When?”  
  
“When you, dad and Ike went to the lake that weekend, remember? I was being a rebellious young teenager and wanted to prove a point?”  
  
“Aren’t you still doing that? Ok, honey, well lock the doors and call if there are any troubles. Keep your cellphone nearby and actually use it to talk to your dear old mother for once.”  
  
“Yeah, mom, sure,” Lizzie agreed.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“Love you too. Have fun.”  
  
“Johnny Depp movie marathon, oh I think we’ll manage.”  
  
“Gross.”  
  
“See you in the morning.”  
  
“Bye, mom.”  
  
Lizzie hung up the phone and raced back up the stairs when she heard the familiar chords of the first song she ever heard Frank mumbling around the house. She nearly tripped over air three times before arriving at her bedroom door and throwing it open to find Frank in a power stance playing along to the music he’d looked up on the computer. Head banging and mouthing the words along he looked every bit a rock star Lizzie imagined him being when he was alive.  
  
Jesse noticed Lizzie’s excitement over the song and smiled widely before motioning her over to dance, thus creating their miniature concert setting as Frank hopped up on Lizzie’s bed, too immersed in the music to notice the blush that set into Lizzie’s cheeks when Jesse grabbed her hairbrush off the dresser and tossed it to her. “This is your jam,” he stated over the music. Not a question or an observation, but a statement that, yes, this was in fact one of Lizzie’s favourite songs in the whole world and she was entitled to live in the moment.  
  
Lizzie held the brush in her hand like it was a foreign object, not entirely sure what to make of it until Jesse caught on to her discomfort and grabbed it back to make the biggest idiot he could of himself, just as he had at the top of the slope when they’d gone snowboarding. Jesse threw himself into unspeakable dance moves, probably taken from the 1970’s, with pointing, hip shaking and charades to match the lyrics that he knew just as well as Lizzie of a band that helped define their generation and the music they grew up loving.  
  
Even Frank caught a glimpse of Jesse’s odd dancing and pretend singing. About to question his nephew’s sanity he paused at the sound of Lizzie’s laughter and smiled instead. He let the sly comments slide and instead closed his eyes, remembering what it had felt like to be onstage in some stuffy, hot venue in front of all of thirty people there to see his band perform.  
  
“Your turn,” Jesse shouted over the music again and tossed the hairbrush back to Lizzie who barely caught it. Still hesitant she stood frozen on the spot in horror, as if there really were thirty people watching her.  
  
“Aw, come on, Lizzie,” Jesse encouraged and grabbed her hand, forcing her into not one, but two twirls on the spot before letting go and stepping back.  
  
Like a wind-up toy Lizzie came to life with another burst of laughter and the chorus. Jumping, swaying, and flailing arms, Lizzie pretended the hairbrush was her microphone, just as Jesse had meant it to be until the music came to an end, and all that filled the room was heavy breathing and laughter.  
  
Frank quickly hopped down from the bed and moved to the computer. “What next, what next?” he urged them to answer like a giddy child. “ _The Clash_? No, no, _Misfits_!”  
  
“ _Misfits_ and then _The Clash_ ,” Jesse became a giddy child next to him, both beginning an argument over which song from the band’s entire discography to play. As they did, Lizzie took it upon herself to tidy up, if only a little. Assuming Frank was going to use the bed as a stage again she moved the leftover pizza to her desk and quickly shoved one of her bras that was hanging out of her dresser drawer back in, hoping Jesse hadn’t seen it. It was one thing if he’d been snooping around before without her knowing, but she didn’t want to be in front of him if he noticed.  
  
“Lizzie!”  
  
“What?” she startled and whipped around.  
  
“We should watch _Return of the Living Dead_ after this,” Frank enthused. “Jesse’s never seen it and that’s practically blasphemous.”  
  
“Fine, but then we all need to watch _Lords of Dogtown_ after,” Jesse added. “It’s on Netflix.”  
  
“What’s Netflix?”  
  
Jesse gave Lizzie a hard stare. “You don’t have Netflix?”  
  
Lizzie shrugged, “I’d rather own my movies.”  
  
“What’s Netflix?” Frank repeated, and shook his nephew’s arm. “Is this porn? ‘Cause I’m into that.”  
  
Jesse laughed, “No, it’s a website to stream movies on. You pay for it monthly and it has a whole bunch of movies to choose from. It’s pretty decent.”  
  
“I’ll be the judge, load it up,” Frank pointed to the computer, apparently forgetting all about their jam session.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie picked pieces of popcorn out of her hair and narrowed her eyes on the culprit; Frank. Apparently not owning Netflix was enough to earn a handful of popcorn thrown your way. As soon as Jesse had loaded the page and shown Frank the list of films he could watch, Frank had grabbed for the bowl of popcorn, aimed and fired Lizzie’s way.  
  
“I sit at home bored all day when I could be watching an entire stash of horror films for free?”  
  
“You still pay for it,” Lizzie argued calmly. “Do you have the cash to pay for it?”  
  
“I’ll let you use my account,” Jesse cut in. “You can only have two people watching on an account at once though, so just know that if it’s not working it’s because my mom is probably using my account to catch up on _The Walking Dead_ or something.”  
  
“What’s that?” Frank questioned and Lizzie waited for another handful of popcorn to be flung her way.  
  
“A TV show about zombies,” Jesse explained casually and shoved a handful of M&;amp;amp;M’s into his mouth, spilling about a quarter of them onto his chest. One quick trip to the 7-11 and he’d returned with bags of tooth decaying goodness to devour during their miniature movie marathon.  
  
“What the hell, Lizzie?” Frank shouted out again, this time throwing two handfuls of the popular movie snack her way. “Goddamn, you’ve been holding out on me! I’m dead here, have some sympathy!”  
  
“So basically _you’re_ the walking dead,” Jesse stated as the beginning credits for _Return of the Living Dead_ began to play.  
  
“Save for the eating brains part,” Frank giggled.  
  
“This music is so 80’s,” Lizzie tuned into the film. “It couldn’t get more 80’s.”  
  
“This is already so cheesy,” Jesse laughed and slouched down further on the floor against the bed. It wasn’t the most luxurious setting, being seated on a floor with a laptop as the film screen, but at least while hooked up to the speakers it provided ample sound, and Lizzie felt oddly comfortable against Frank’s cold body.  
  
“Wait till Trash takes off her clothes,” Frank nudged Jesse in the side.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“Trash is taking off her clothes again,” Frank and Jesse narrated in unison with the film for the fifth time. Lizzie rolled her eyes and before Frank could lean forward to replay the scene for the sixth time pounced forward and slapped his hand away.  
  
“We’re never going to get through the film if you keep watching the stupid strip scene over and over again!”  
  
“Killjoy,” Frank muttered and allowed the film to continue. “Just wait until the Tarman scene. We’ll watch that _twenty_ times.”  
  
“Wow, I can’t wait,” Lizzie sighed and allowed her head to tilt onto his shoulder. “I’ve only seen this _film_ about _fifty_ times.”  
  
The night carried on with inappropriate comments, laughter, shouting and a good time all around. It carried on through a viewing of the promised Lords of Dogtown, gaining a respect from Lizzie toward skaters and Jesse’s hobby. It carried on through another dance party, some lessons on guitar and the story of Frank’s first ever gig. And when the night did end, it ended with a viewing of a film of Lizzie’s choice, which quickly bored Frank to the point of escaping back up to the attic, leaving Lizzie and Jesse alone.  
  
“It’s not that bad,” Lizzie called after him.  
  
“Nor is the dentist, but you still don’t see people lining up to have a tooth pulled,” Frank countered loudly. “Call me when it’s over.”  
  
“That’s not fair! I watched _your_ movie!”  
  
“I never said you had to!”  
  
“Asshole,” Lizzie muttered and folded her arms.  
  
Jesse scooted over a bit now that Frank was absent and smiled. “I’ll stick around to watch.”  
  
Lizzie returned the smile before glancing toward the digital clock beside her bed. “Holy shit, it’s like, 3:30 in the morning already! Isn’t your mom going to be mad? Did you call?”  
  
“It’s fine,” he waved her off. “She’s working a night shift anyway.”  
  
“Yeah, but what about your brother? You said he doesn’t like being home alone.”  
  
“Nah, but it’s not like he hasn’t been home alone before. It’s not the first time I’ve stayed out all night.”  
  
“Oh. Ok.”  
  
Jesse shrugged and looked back to the laptop screen. “I’ll jet after it’s done.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	20. Chapter 20

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"When It All Falls Apart" - The Veronicas_
  * _"Everything You Want" - Vertical Horizon_



...................................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie awoke in the morning with a kink in her neck and groaned. Reluctant to open her eyes she could only briefly process falling asleep during the movie last night and rubbed at her eyes. “Ugh,” she mumbled quietly as she realized she hadn’t taken her makeup off and would have smudged it all up. “Fuck.” Many things irked Lizzie, and day old makeup was one of them. It made her face feel itchy and the mascara made her eyes sting.  
  
Her hand came back down and rest against denim material. Lizzie cringed, because her pillow definitely wasn’t denim material, nor was her pillow usually this uncomfortable. Shooting up in horror, her head collided with Jesse’s chin with a smack.  
  
“Ow!” Jesse awoke in alarm and held a hand to his jaw. “What the hell?”  
  
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Lizzie quickly apologized and hovered her hands around his face. “Ah, shit, I’m sorry! Are you ok? Do you want some ice or something?”  
  
“Nah, that’s fine, it’s just my face,” he dismissed lazily.  
  
“No, you have to go! Why are you still here? What time is it?”  
  
“What?” Jesse winced and blinked slowly. “What happened to _your_ face?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“You got a little something- Uh-“ He reached out hesitantly toward her eye but stopped and gave a small laugh. “Well kind of a lot of something. Your makeup’s all over the place.”  
  
“Fuck off,” Lizzie frowned and scrambled to her feet in order to survey the scene. “Oh man,” she moaned over the mess. Food was all over the floor; M&;M’s, cookie crumbs and popcorn, scattered about like a wild animal had been loose in the room.  
  
“I’ll help you clean up,” Jesse offered and ruffled at his hair sleepily. “Where’s your garbage can?”  
  
“Forget it, you have to get out of here! My brother can’t find you here! What time is it?”  
  
Jesse squinted at his phone and rubbed at his chin, “Just after eight. What’s the big deal? Nothing happened, we fell asleep. It happens.”  
  
“My mom will probably be home first,” Lizzie continued as if Jesse hadn’t spoken a word. “I don’t want her to know you were here.”  
  
Jesse frowned and retrieved his jacket from off her bed. “Ok, well I’ll leave then-“ he paused and pulled his jacket on slowly. “Can I- Well I can come back again sometime? My uncle can’t exactly leave your house and it’d be pretty awesome to hang out with him again.”  
  
“Yes, but you seriously have to go now, Jesse. My brother doesn’t know about Frank being a ghost, and if he sees you leaving here he’s going to assume things.”  
  
Jesse grinned and nodded. “Oh, this is a genitalia issue. Right. I have a penis and you have a vagina so we obviously can’t just be friends.”  
  
A giggle bounced off the walls and Lizzie let out a cry of frustration as she hopped around on the spot and covered her face. “No, no, no, no. Shut up, Frank!”  
  
“I didn’t say anything,” the ghost’s voice continued to bounce around the room, though Frank remained invisible to them. “My nephew is sharp, I like him. I think I’ll keep you around, sport.”  
  
“Sport?” Jesse laughed and studied the room closely as if trying to spot Frank out. “Is that supposed to be the lame nickname you address me as?”  
  
“No good?” Frank teased. “I was just trying it out. Testing out the pervy uncle pants.”  
  
“Get out, Jesse,” Lizzie shouted, startling the boy and instigating Frank enough to appear next to her bed in concern. Lizzie’s body stood completely still other than her fists at her sides, gripped so tightly that they shook.  
  
Jesse’s face flushed and he quickly pocketed his cell phone. “Sorry, ok, I’m going. Uh, bye, Frank!”  
  
Frank walked right through Lizzie, and she immediately knew he’d done so on purpose. Like letting the cold draft of a blizzard in through the door Lizzie shivered and returned the frown Frank gave her before he turned his back to her and pulled his nephew into a hug.  
  
“Hug your mom for me,” he requested quietly. “And I’ll see you again soon. Bring my guitar."  
  
“I will,” Jesse replied and hesitated before settling on giving Lizzie a slight wave and exiting the bedroom.  
  
Lizzie waited for the sound of the door downstairs shutting before heaving a sigh of relief. “Help me clean all this up,” she hurried and began gathering as much of the M&;M’s and crumbs as she could before rushing out of the room to get the vacuum cleaner. She was in such a panic that Frank’s stern look went unnoticed until she returned.  
  
He stood in the middle of the room watching Lizzie move around, kicking a pile of magazines out of the way in order to reach the outlet and pulling the extension cord so quickly it almost knocked over her lamp.  
  
“What is your problem?” Frank questioned over the roar of the vacuum. He dodged the contraption as Lizzie moved it toward him and sucked up a portion of the mess. “Your brother stayed at his friend’s the night, he won’t be back anytime soon. They probably stayed up as late as you and Jesse did. The only reason you’re up right now is because you’re in some kind of freaky panic.”  
  
“It doesn’t mean my mom won’t walk through the door any second,” Lizzie explained loudly and thrust the empty pizza box into Frank’s arms. “Dispose of this.”  
  
Frank examined the box and tossed it carelessly to the side, not yet ready to drop the discussion. “Even if your mom did walk in and find you asleep on Jesse’s lap, do you really think she’d flip out that much? Like he said, nothing happened. I can attest to that, ‘cause I would have heard if anything did happen. The most I heard was you snoring your pretty little face off like always.”  
  
“So why didn’t you wake us up?” Lizzie snapped. “He was supposed to go home after the movie was finished!”  
  
“You were serious about that?” Frank quirked an eyebrow. “You were going to kick the kid out into the snow at 4:30 in the morning to walk home?”  
  
“Fine, but I could have at least kicked him into Ike’s room, or onto the couch downstairs.”  
  
“Oh my God,” Frank tilted his head back and gave a bitter laugh. “Unbelievable. What are you so upset about?”  
  
“I don’t know, ok?” Lizzie turned the vacuum off and grabbed for the garbage can to empty downstairs. Unluckily for her, Frank was a great deal faster and was already waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
“Clearly you do and just don’t want to tell the friendly ghost.”  
  
Lizzie felt her face grow warm and turned into the kitchen, noting more snow making its way down from the sky, like there wasn’t enough already. She knew she was being stubborn and immature. Jesse hadn’t meant to fall asleep, just as she hadn’t meant to fall asleep in his lap. They weren’t girlfriend and boyfriend yesterday and they weren’t that today either. Still, Lizzie felt guilty for the unintentional interaction she had with him last night, and she hated that she felt guilty.  
  
“I don’t want my mom thinking that Jesse and I are suddenly a thing,” she explained hastily when Frank’s stare finally triggered her into reveal.  
  
“If Jesse starts coming here to visit me, then at some point she’s probably going to assume you have a thing for each other anyway. So what? Let her think what she wants. If you are you are if you’re not you’re not. No one’s going to judge you for liking him. Liz, if you want to date my nephew, I give you my full permission.”  
  
“I don’t want to date him,” Lizzie shouted and marched into the washroom, slamming the door and frowning at the inky blotches around her eyes from the mascara and eyeliner.  
  
“Lizzie,” Frank’s voice came lighter and carefully. “Liz…I won’t be upset. Is that what you need to hear me say? I’d be really happy if you dated my nephew, actually. I met him and I approve. And I also approve of him dating you if that means anything to you.”  
  
“I don’t like him like that,” Lizzie muttered while hunting through the cupboards for her makeup remover. “He’s an alright friend, but that’s it.”  
  
“…Alright,” Frank gave up. “Well whatever the reason, I still think you were pretty bitchy kicking him out like that. He didn’t do anything to earn that treatment. He even offered to help you clean up your room. And if you’re afraid that he tried anything while you were asleep, you can rest assured he didn’t. Because I was listening, but I was also watching like a fucking hawk.”  
  
Lizzie cracked a small smile at her reflection and dabbed away at her ruined makeup, ready to start the day over.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Monday morning came faster than Lizzie liked, but that was always the routine for basically the entire human race. She hadn’t talked to Jesse since Saturday morning and was anxious to see him again to apologize for her rude manners. Like Frank said, he’d done nothing wrong. All he was guilty of was falling asleep, just as she had. It was ridiculous how she’d blown falling asleep into an after school special of unnecessary assumptions.  
  
Pulling her locker open something tumbled from the top shelf onto the floor. Reaching down Lizzie picked up the polaroid picture and brushed off the bit of dust that had stuck to it. A smiling Frank and Daphne stared back at her and Lizzie’s heart fluttered for a number of reasons: for love, for Frank, for what Daphne had and simply for the fact that Jesse had stuck to his word by returning the picture to her.  
  
She quickly searched her locker for any kind of note but found nothing and sighed. She thought for sure Jesse would tag on some kind of ridiculous comment, but all the picture indicated was that Jesse was already at school and not sticking around to wait for her.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie made it through an agonizing morning of lectures and assignments with the hope of running into Jesse at lunch, and thankfully she caught up with him just as he was about to leave.  
  
Clad in his winter jacket and with his bag already slung over his shoulder he looked a little more than rushed to be paused by her.  
  
“No cafeteria food today?” Lizzie hugged her binder to her chest snuggly and noticed Nathan making their way down the hallway, also clad in his winter garments. “And just when I was about to take the leap and risk eating down there.”  
  
“Yeah, no cafeteria today,” Jesse responded and glanced over his shoulder, giving Nathan a nod of acknowledgement before turning back and shifting uneasily. “Did you need something? I’m sorry, I’m just kind of in a rush to get out of here.”  
  
“Oh, no,” Lizzie shook her head. “Nothing. You’re going somewhere?”  
  
“It’s nice out today so a few of my friends and I are just going to skip the afternoon and hang out.”  
  
Lizzie waited a pause before realizing Jesse, unlike so many times before, wasn’t about to invite her to tag along. He was just answering her question and hoping it was enough to get him off the hook with her so he could leave. With no bright smile or chipper comment Jesse was like a whole other person and blended in with the rest of the miserable teenage population who were sick of school and just living for the weekend.  
  
“C’mon, Jess, are you ready yet?” Nathan called from the stairs. “Lisa’s waiting in the parking lot.”  
  
Jesse glanced over his shoulder and turned back to Lizzie with a small sigh. “I’m sorry, but I really have to go now, so-“  
  
“Did you want to come over on Wednesday after school? My brother will be home, but he thinks Frank’s a normal guy who graduated from here a couple years ago. We just have to keep the music down a bit because he’s kind of a nerd and likes to get his homework done as soon as he gets home.”  
  
Jesse looked momentarily surprised; as if Lizzie had shoved him or pulled the rug out from under him. “Uh…” Whipping out his phone he quickly checked his calendar and shook his head. “I work Wednesday.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie shrugged slowly.  
  
“I can on Thursday though?” he suggested a beat later.  
  
“Yeah, ok, Thursday. That works out great!”  
  
“Jess, if we don’t get our asses down there stat Lisa is going to make us walk, man! And I’m not game for that.”  
  
“I have to go,” Jesse motioned toward Nathan while taking a couple steps back. “Catch you later, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie gave a small wave and watched the two boys disappear down the stairs and out of sight quickly. With a sigh she retrieved her lunch from her locker and sat on the ledge. Outside the window, on the sidewalk below teenagers were rushing back and forth, going out for lunch or just returning to the school after taking a trip to McDonald’s. Jesse was right about the weather being nicer, and so it seemed the halls inside were emptier than usual, but still Lizzie sat where she was.  
  
The only thing she had for entertainment that lunch was another note from Frank written in the margin of her science assignment.  
  
 _Your brother was humming Christmas songs while you were taking a shower this morning. Are you that lunatic family that skips over Thanksgiving and goes for the Christmas jugular? I bet your mom has already picked out a hideous Christmas sweater for you already. Tell Jesse that I want a tacky uncle present. Like golf tees or a mug or something. Obviously I don’t drink, but I bet I could find something ridiculous to keep in it. Like air.  
  
Casper_  
  
Lizzie closed her binder and let her head tip back against the wall with a groan. She hadn’t thought much about Christmas, but now that Frank had brought it up she was pretty sure the deal was to spend Christmas with her dad in California. Part of the agreement was that major holidays were to be spent with their father because it didn’t make sense to travel any other time due to their schooling. Thus, Christmas, spring break and next summer were to be spent with their dad. Lizzie was happy over the idea of seeing her dad again, after relying on all of the phone calls, Skype chats and postcards to keep connected. She was excited to be wrapped up in his arms for a hug again and share, in person, all the details she could about how shitty high school was in Jersey. Her mom often waved off Lizzie’s complaining, but her dad often played the empathy card and would listen to her rant and rave for an hour at a time.  
  
In all the drama and supernatural consuming her life, Lizzie hadn’t really stopped to think about how much she missed her dad, or the presence of both parents at the dinner table instead of the single parent bit. Now that it was brought to the forefront of her mind, the hurt was very real and she felt homesick without her dad around, cracking dad jokes and lecturing her over rotten boys.  
  
But then there was Frank, and admitting to Frank she wouldn’t be around for Christmas now that he seemed to be looking forward to it. And then there was the metaphorical cold hard slap in the face when it dawned on her that if she was going away for the Christmas holiday, she was also going to be away for the anniversary of his death. Frank had died alone, and every anniversary since he’d spent alone. She didn’t want Frank to be alone again. She wanted him to be too wrapped up in smiles and laughter with her and Jesse to even notice what day it was, how it happened or why it did. Lizzie wanted to hug him tight that day and refuse to let go. Lizzie wanted to watch all his stupid horror movies with him and let him blast his favourite songs all day. She did _not_ want him to be alone and she did _not_ want to notify him that he would be.  
  
“It’s Jesse,” a startled cry ripped Lizzie from her thoughts.  
  
“What happened?” another worried voice called from down the hall.  
  
Lizzie’s eyes grew wide with worry, because how many Jesses were at their high school, and how many Jesses caused this much reaction so quickly? Anywhere she looked people were talking or running down the stairs.  
  
“What’s happening?” she managed to croak out to a boy walking by in concern.  
  
“Jesse had some kind of attack or something, he collapsed in the parking lot. There’s an ambulance coming.”  
  
“Jesse Wilton?” Lizzie squeaked and shakily got to her feet. “Wh- I-“  
  
The boy nodded and continued down the stairs hurriedly, prompting Lizzie to abandon her things and do the same. In doing so she sped right by the boy she spoke with and sprinted down the hallway to the parking lot doors where a crowd was all huddled together, some inside and some out while teachers tried their best to create a barricade and provide space for when the paramedics arrived.  
  
Lizzie shoved her way to the front, ignoring the swears and annoyed responses she received for her actions. She paused next to a group of Jesse’s friends and froze over the sight of Lisa, Nathan and two teachers around Jesse who lay sprawled out in the snow on his back; deathly pale and his lips beginning to take on a blue tint.  
  
“Jesse,” Lizzie breathed and dodged a teacher in order to get closer to the boy she’d just spent a whole evening lip synching and watching movies with. She kneeled next to him as Nathan was – a terrified wreck of a human being who didn’t have any clue what to do.  
  
For a moment Lizzie let her hands hover of Jesse again, just as they had when she smacked her head into his chin that morning after their movie night. Light bruising could still be seen where she’d hit him and she looked up quickly when the sound of an ambulance approaching could be heard.  
  
In minutes Jesse was being moved onto a stretcher and loaded in the back of the vehicle before it took off – Mr. Bryson along for the ride and Lizzie and Nathan left standing side by side in shock.  
  
“What happened?” Lizzie whimpered while the crowd slowly began to disperse with worried murmurs. “He was fine upstairs just a few minutes ago!”  
  
“I don’t know,” Nathan’s voice was like a scared child’s who just thought they saw a shadow move on the wall. “He was fine and then he started having trouble breathing – he kept grabbing for his chest – I don’t- I don’t know what happened. He just collapsed.”  
  
Lizzie grit her teeth, but couldn’t stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks.  
  
“Did you want a ride?” Nathan’s voice was somber. “Lisa and I are going to the hospital if you want to come.”  
  
Lizzie looked at Nathan as if he might be playing a prank on her, but his expression was completely serious and Lisa was standing with her car keys in hand and bottom lip trembling similarly to Lizzie’s.  
  
All she could do was nod and Nathan wrapped an arm around her shoulders to guide her toward the car.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  
  
The ride to the hospital was quiet and Lizzie sat in the backseat trying not to let the worst thoughts get the best of her. Lisa and Nathan exchanged minimal words and a couple times he spoke on the phone to friends of theirs asking for more information.  
  
It was a sequence of moments in which Lizzie could only process following behind Nathan from one point to the next. Paying for parking, walking into the building, talking to the front desk and being seated in a waiting area for more information because they weren’t family.  
  
Nikki came running in at some point, clad in her work uniform and her expression the most horrified Lizzie could imagine; enough for her to imagine the same terror the gang must have felt over the news of Frank.  
  
Nikki was only at the desk for all of thirty seconds before being escorted down the hall without so much as a glance their way.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie counted five and a half hours when Nathan tapped her on the shoulder and offered his cell phone for her to call someone if she needed to. It was then Lizzie remembered she’d left her entire backpack on the ledge at the school along with her phone, keys and jacket. All she had with her were the clothes on her back, none of which were very practical for the winter weather. She’d been warm at lunch and abandoned her hoodie along with her jacket, leaving her in a t-shirt and jeans.  
  
“I should call my mom,” her voice came out tired and saddened.  
  
Nathan nodded and pressed the phone into the palm of her hand before squeezing her arm and letting her know he’d be right back.  
  
Lizzie eyed the phone and glanced up at Lisa who sat in a seat across from them, her thumbs rapidly punching in text message after text message. Her eyes were glassy and Lizzie wondered what her own face looked like as she shakily dialled home and waited for her mom to answer.  
  
It was Isaac who picked up, but was quick to pass it over to their mom when he heard how distressed his sister sounded.  
  
“Lizzie? Where are you? What’s wrong?” Olivia picked up instantly on Lizzie’s odd tone.  
  
“I’m at the h-hospital,” Lizzie explained, her voice wavering and unsure of how she could feel so deeply for a boy she’d only known for two months. But Jesse was the only friend she had besides Frank, and Jesse meant so much more than just another acquaintance. He was Frank’s nephew and the exception to every other person she’d met in her life. He defied everything that dragged people down and found the fun in the most meticulous tasks. “J-Jesse’s sick and he collapsed at s-school today.”  
  
She heard Olivia briefly converse with Isaac who replied that he’d heard there was someone taken to the hospital that afternoon.  
  
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry,” Olivia cooed gently. “I’ll come get you. You just hang in there and everything will turn out ok, you’ll see.”  
  
“N-no, I want to stay.”  
  
“Lizzie, it’s getting late and while I know he’s your friend, they don’t let friends in on a lot of information at the hospital. Come home now and I’ll take you there again tomorrow after school.”  
  
“No! I’m staying. I’m here with Nathan and Lisa. They’re staying too.”  
  
“Lizzie.”  
  
“I’m staying,” Lizzie replied and abruptly hung up the phone as Nathan returned with three coffees.  
  
“You ok?” he checked and handed her one of the cups.  
  
“My mom doesn’t want me to stay, but I want to,” Lizzie explained miserably.  
  
Nathan handed Lisa her beverage as well before being seated next to Lizzie again with a quiet sigh. “I ran into his mom down the hall. He’s in surgery right now but she’ll come let us know when he’s out and what’s going on.”  
  
“Why’d you ask if I wanted to come?” Lizzie mumbled. “You guys don’t even like me.”  
  
Nathan looked taken aback by her confession and leaned forward to better see her face. “First of all, I can’t speak for us all, but I don’t dislike you. To be honest, no, I don’t really know you that well, but Jesse really likes you and Jesse is my best friend. So if he likes you then it’s my job as his best friend to make the effort to get to know you. And it’s my job to make sure you’re around when I know he’d want you to be.”  
  
“Well I don’t know if I’m exactly his favourite person right now anyway,” Lizzie explained quietly.  
  
“I doubt that,” Nathan leaned back in his chair. “You’d probably have to murder someone at this rate to shake Jesse off you. When he makes a new friend he’s all jaws of life.”  
  
Lizzie sighed shakily and rubbed at her arm, unsure if Nathan was right. Would Jesse actually want her present?  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
It wasn’t until after eight that Nikki came to see Nathan, as promised. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked exhausted. Lizzie shrunk into herself, worried about how Nikki would react when she realized she too was waiting for news.  
  
There was some internal struggle, evident in Nikki’s expression when her eyes locked with Lizzie’s briefly. Then with a motion of her hand Nikki had Nathan and Lisa follow her around the corner, letting Lizzie know boldly, without words, where she was on her list of importance.  
  
Lizzie swallowed, and couldn’t hold back tears that pooled in her eyes. Without much thought she got up only three minutes later and walked to the front desk. “Can I please use your phone to call home? I don’t have my wallet or anything, it was left at the school.”  
  
The nurse pushed the phone across the desk with a nod and Lizzie began dialling home when she felt a hand on her arm, pausing her.  
  
“Come with me,” Nikki instructed.  
  
Lizzie didn’t hesitate hanging up and followed Nikki down a different hall than the one she’d taken Nathan and Lisa down. Lizzie didn’t understand what was going on until they reached a vending machine and Nikki tiredly plunked a few coins in for some coffee. She rubbed at her forehead gently and sniffled back overflowing emotion before checking her phone. “I have to call my son, grab my coffee when it’s done, please.”  
  
“…Ok,” Lizzie agreed, stunned and uncertain of what was actually happening. Any kind of interaction with Nikki was surprising, never mind a polite interaction.  
  
Nikki walked into the woman’s washroom for privacy and Lizzie shuffled around on the spot uncomfortably until the machine clicked off and she retrieved the hot beverage for Frank’s sister. A nurse passing by gave her a sympathetic smile and Lizzie wondered if it was because her expression read upset or because that was the only smile nurses gave out at hospitals, just in case.  
  
Nikki returned a couple minutes later, zipping up her purse and carrying her high heeled shoes in her hand. Lizzie quickly held her coffee out and Nikki met her gaze again, wiping any remaining tears away before speaking. “Did you want some coffee? I’ll buy. It’s been a long evening.”  
  
“I’m ok, thank you,” Lizzie answered carefully.  
  
Nikki nodded and took a sip of her drink. “Jesse has a heart condition. It’s nothing new to him or us, we’ve known about it since he was little. Today he had an attack and he passed out. That’s new to everyone. So he just went through surgery to have a pacemaker put in.”  
  
“It’s really serious.”  
  
“It’s treatable and hasn’t really been much of an issue until now. A bit of medication and exercise was the treatment up until now. He'll be fine, but it was a scare.”  
  
For a moment Lizzie was afraid Nikki was going to put the blame on her for Jesse’s collapse, but what happened next surprised Lizzie even more than if Nikki had slapped her and called her a jinx.  
  
“I know Jesse likes you. And Jesse has had a couple girlfriends in the past, but you’re different and that scares me for so many reasons, Lizzie. Because my brother once fell for a girl much different than anyone he’d ever associated with and all it did was break his heart.”  
  
“I’m not-“ Lizzie began, startled and stunned over Nikki’s sudden honesty.  
  
“I’m not saying you are, I’m just saying that Jesse is a very determined boy, just like my brother was. Frankie was one of the sweetest guys out there, and I see so much of his personality in Jesse even though they never met. I just don’t want the same thing to happen to him. Jesse falls in love with everything and everyone very fast. Skateboarding for example. I’ve lost track of how many times he’s watched _Lords of Dogtown_. He knows all the lines and has been obsessed with the sport since his father bought him his very first board when he was all of six years old. His friends is another one. He’s my social butterfly and befriends everyone. The squeegee kid on the street or the hot shot business man riding in a limo, Jesse makes friends with everyone. And that’s such a great trait to have, but it also leaves me worried, because one of these days someone he deems important is bound to let him down, and I don’t want to be around to see the look on his face when it happens. Because I had to live through it with my brother and I don’t want to do it again.  
  
Lizzie felt like all the breath had left her lungs and she struggled to fill them back up. It was the very first time she’d ever heard Nikki utter her brother’s name, and Lizzie knew Frank would be touched that his sister was finally acknowledging him again.  
  
“Jess woke up from surgery about an hour ago and I let him know who was here waiting for him. I think he’d really like if you came to say hi and sit with him for a bit. So I’ll ease up and let you two have some privacy, he’s just in that room three doors down.”  
  
“Ok,” Lizzie mumbled and struggled with what to say after such a confession from the woman she thought despised her. But Nikki didn’t despise her. She was just worried about her son because of what happened to her brother years before. Nikki was afraid Lizzie would break Jesse’s heart like Daphne had done to Frank.  
  
Nikki was the last person to speak to Frank and while she wanted to ask what was said, or what they’d argued about, or where he was going, she knew it was the most inappropriate time to ask. Nor did she want to risk upsetting Nikki after it seemed she’d finally managed to start off on the right foot with her.  
  
“Thank you,” Lizzie spoke quietly instead and moved down the hall while Nikki leaned back against the wall to wait.  
  
She knocked lightly before peeking into the room where Jesse lay in bed, hooked up to a heart monitor and still in aid of an oxygen mask. Yet once his eyes settled on Lizzie they lit up and a small smile spread across his lips.  
  
“Hey,” the mask made it difficult to understand much, but she could still make out his first word regardless of how groggy his voice was.  
  
“Hey,” she greeted and slowly closed the gap between the door and his hospital bed.  
  
A silence lingered on for about a full minute while Lizzie awkwardly scanned the walls and Jesse kept his gaze locked on her. “This is probably a really dumb question, but…how’re you feeling?”  
  
Jesse weakly smiled again behind the mask and his hand came up to move it over his head to Lizzie’s horror, because if a doctor strapped that thing on him he probably needed it.  
  
“You should probably keep this thing on,” she explained and reached out to attempt prying it back down over his face, but Jesse gently swatted at her hands and continued to smile. The boy had just gone through surgery and was still smiling. If their places were reversed Lizzie would probably be snarling at anyone that dared bother her, and that was only if she was strong enough to even be awake yet.  
  
“It’s fine,” Jesse’s voice slurred slightly and Lizzie did notice it took twice as much effort for him to take a breath of air in order to speak. “Only if I need it. I feel like Tarman.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but return his smile. That was until she was reminded of all the panic surrounding his collapse earlier, and how she was terrified he might actually die. “You scared a shitload of people today. I’m pretty sure Mr. Bryson would retire from teaching if-“  
  
“I’m ok,” Jesse reminded when he noticed the tears brimming her eyes. He reached up to take hold of her hand, squeezing lightly.  
  
“Collapsing at school only three minutes after you looked one hundred and ten percent healthy is not normal and not ok, Jesse! It’s not ok that something like this can happen so suddenly! You could have died!”  
  
“…I didn’t.”  
  
“Fuck off. Frank is going to kick your ass.”  
  
Jesse gave her a lazy grin and took in a slow breath of air. “We should visit Gloria.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I was thinking and maybe it’s a good idea. Frank is stubborn. Let’s visit Gloria in New York.”  
  
“You just had surgery on your heart and _that’s_ what you’re thinking about? You’re a lunatic, what is wrong with you?”  
  
“We’ve established that I’m weird, get over it, Lizzie. I want to be able to help Frank, and so Gloria is the next contact on our list.”  
  
“Alright, fine. You get better and then we’ll go visit Gloria in New York. Just try and control your heart this time.”  
  
“I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises,” Jesse winked and pulled the mask back down over his face.

................................................................................................................................................................................


	21. Chapter 21

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Unkind" - Sloan_
  * _"Everybody Loves Me" - OneRepublic_



............................................................................................................................

 

Jesse was released from the hospital a day later, during which Lizzie had to endure a panicked response from Frank who ranted on about how the boy should have told him he had a heart condition.  
  
“That twerp was here all evening and didn’t say one word about it!”  
  
“I don’t think it’s something that comes up in conversation a lot,” Lizzie responded calmly. “ _’Hey deceased uncle, I have so many things to discuss with you. But before all that did you know I was born with an arrhythmia?’_ ”  
  
“That sound like a practical and sensible moment to make the announcement to me! How’s Nikki? Fuck she was probably freaking out.”  
  
“I think she’s doing ok now,” Lizzie answered from her spot on the bed, fumbling with her phone. She’d been connected to her phone the entire ride home, refusing to let go in case Jesse found the energy to somehow want to message her.  
  
“Did you talk to her?” Frank questioned and paced around her room, unwilling or incapable of keeping still in the moment.  
  
“Not really,” Lizzie lied. Something about explaining the conversation she’d had with his sister made her uncomfortable. The conversation she’d had with Nikki felt private and not one she should being sharing with anyone. “She basically just came to tell us what was going on and I had a short visit with him after Nathan and Lisa.”  
  
Frank was still discontented with the information but let the questioning go and took to pacing silently until it bored him enough to sit by the window. “I should be there,” were the last mumbled words Lizzie heard from him before falling asleep that night.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse was away the rest of the week to recover at home under Nikki’s strict watch. Lizzie knew because he’d text her several times with all the coddling moments his mother was impacting on him. _‘She wanted to spoon feed me’_ was one of Lizzie’s personal favourites alongside _‘She threatened to give me a sponge bath’_.  
  
Lizzie spent much of the following day after the scare searching recovery steps on her phone, just to have an idea whether or not Jesse was telling the truth or not.  
  
The day after that was spent trying to piece together exactly what she wanted to say to Frank regarding the holiday season and how she wouldn’t be around to celebrate with him. Her hand was sore from the amount of apologies and attempted jokes she’d written out in order to plan for the moment.  
  
The school was still in a gossip over Monday morning with students who had witnessed the incident, students who hadn’t, students who actually knew why Jesse was absent and students who were under the impression that he would never be returning. Jesse was an extremely popular and well-liked person of the school and it fit with the information Nikki had spoken to Lizzie at the hospital. He was so liked because Jesse probably, throughout his three years of high school, had tried saying at least a couple words to every other student in the building. If he ever ran for student body president he would win – hands down. A night and day comparison when she thought about herself. Lizzie had probably conversed with all of fifteen people since September, some of which were forced interactions due to school assignments.  
  
“Hi, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie’s gaze flickered up and she dropped her pen in order to rub at her sore hand while examining the boy in front of her. Nathan stood next to her at his full 6’2” height and athletic build. Lizzie had long ago decided he was built like a hockey player and while Jesse was slim and in decent shape, he didn’t have the same build as Nathan and looked a great deal smaller when they were standing next to each other.  
  
“Hi,” she greeted curiously and not altogether trusting. Nathan had proved to her he wasn’t a complete jackass, but that had also been when he was upset that his best friend might be dying. Everyone acted nicer in life or death scenarios, because it was like a reality check that even the grungy old man sitting next to you on the bus was a human being with thoughts and feelings who you could relate to in time of crisis. Jesse’s case wasn’t as serious as originally thought, and he was going to be fine, but that hadn’t been known in those first few hours at the hospital, and everyone was at their most vulnerable.  
  
Nathan adjusted his backpack over his shoulder and itched the back of his head. Unlike Jesse’s shaggy hair that would often fall into his eyes Nathan’s was shorter, well-kept and chestnut brown. He had a light dust of freckles across his cheeks and always seemed to be sporting a hoodie and sweatpants, like he was lounging around at home instead of dealing with the social ranks of high school. All-in-all he looked like a typical jock to Lizzie, and the fact that Jesse dubbed him his best friend struck her as a bit odd.  
  
“So a few of us are going to chip in a few bucks each and buy Jess a kind of get well present… Sorry your heart runs on batteries sort of thing.”  
  
“Ok,” Lizzie followed along with a shrug. “Sounds like a nice enough idea.”  
  
“Did you want in on it? We’re not one hundred percent sure what we’re getting him yet, but probably something music, skater or video game related.”  
  
“Oh, sure,” Lizzie reached for her backpack on the ground. “How much is everyone giving?”  
  
“Whatever you want or can,” Nathan shrugged. Some pitched in ten and some pitched in a dollar, ya know? Not like any of us are rolling in cash.”  
  
Lizzie extracted a ten dollar bill from her wallet to hand over and Nathan accepted it with a brief smile.  
  
“Thanks. I’ll have a really stupid card that all the contributors can sign or whatever.”  
  
“It’s nice of you to organize it all and stuff.”  
  
Nathan shrugged and pocketed the cash. “He did something similar when I broke my leg a couple years ago and had to forfeit a boarding competition. I’m returning the favour.”  
  
“Skateboarding?”  
  
“Snowboarding.”  
  
“Oh right.”  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
“That day at the park snowboarding. You were pretty much the only person who knew what they were doing.”  
  
Nathan gave a laugh, “I’m kind of the one who dragged everyone else into it. It’s just been something we keep up every winter now. A hobby. There isn’t a lot to do around here during the winter unless it’s underground music gigs and movies.”  
  
“I’ve noticed. It’s kind of a drag.”  
  
“Gotta make the best of it I guess. You should come to a movie or gig with us sometime.”  
  
Lizzie picked up her abandoned pen again and doodled a silly face on her hand. “I don’t know. Maybe.”  
  
“Yeah, alright, well the offer is there,” Nathan adjusted his backpack again and started toward the stairs. “See ya.”  
  
“Bye.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Isaac was already at home when Lizzie arrived and acknowledged her with a grunt and click of keys on the game controller he was holding.  
  
“Is that seriously all you do?” Lizzie narrowed her gaze. “Video games?”  
  
“Yes, _mother_. Is all you do whine and complain about others? It’s not like there’s anything else to do around here in this shitty weather.”  
  
Lizzie plunked down next to her younger brother, apparently throwing off his game as his character swan dove into a ravine and earned Lizzie an elbow in the side as the word ‘Fail’ came up on the screen in big gray letters. “Thanks a lot, moron.”  
  
“Oh please, it’s not like you were going to make it any further anyway. I’ve seen you play this game before and you never make it beyond this level.”  
  
“Could’ve been my day,” Isaac muttered under his breath while opting for a do over on the game’s main screen. “Then you came home.”  
  
“Ha. Ha. Ha. You’re too funny.” Lizzie tilted her head back against the couch, going over her interaction with Nathan that day and again finding herself miffed over how Jesse could be so selfless. There were many selfless people in the world, but Lizzie couldn’t think of a seventeen year old boy in the moment, who spent so much of his time trying to make others happy. He was like a skateboarding saint based on what she’d seen from him; the way he dropped some change into every panhandler’s empty cup, held the door open for anyone and everyone or even just the small gesture of smiling to passerby’s, regardless of the fact that half of them didn’t bother to return the same respect. Frank was probably just as selfless. At least she liked to think he was when he was seventeen, but she couldn’t be sure. Not when she was missing pieces of information and was friends with a stubborn ghost who was reluctant to discuss his past.  
  
A thud upstairs had both Lizzie and Isaac quickly glance toward the stairs in alarm. “What was that?” Isaac questioned. It didn’t matter how old a person was – a peculiar sound in the dark or a loud bang from upstairs was always going to get the heart racing and your mind pondering escape routes in case a psychopathic axe murderer came creeping down the stairs seeking you out.  
  
“I don’t know,” Lizzie mumbled, though wasn’t nearly as alarmed as her brother, because, well…Frank. If Jason Voorhees was stealthily making his way across the landing Frank would casually kick his leg out just to laugh over the sight of Jason Voorhees tumbling down some stairs ungracefully. It’s not like you could really hide from a ghost – Lizzie just had to trust that Frank granted her privacy when she wanted it. But even if he didn’t, she wouldn’t have a clue he was around.  
  
“Something probably just toppled over,” she tried to ease her brother’s mind. “I’ll go check. If I’m not back in five minutes, assume the worst.”  
  
“Alright, loser,” Isaac snorted and continued his video game.  
  
Lizzie grabbed her backpack along the way to bring up to her bedroom and ascended the familiar staircase of what she now acknowledged as familiar and homey. No longer were they stairs to Dracula’s summer house. There wasn’t a hockey mask abandoned on the steps, nor a laughing ghost, so Lizzie assumed Jason hadn’t come to pay them a visit.  
  
Instead she found Frank in the hallway digging around in the closet and creating a mess in the process.  
  
“What’re you doing?” Lizzie whispered. “You startled my brother so bad I’m pretty sure he pissed himself.”  
  
“Really?” Frank giggled and pulled a box out from the bottom shelf to look through. “Don’t you people own any form of art supplies? Paintbrushes, paint, pencil crayons? Googly eyes, pom-poms, glitter?”  
  
“Sorry I’m not eight years old?” Lizzie gave a laugh. “What do you need googly eyes and glitter for?”  
  
“I want paint and paintbrushes.”  
  
“Ok, Picasso. What brought on this sudden interest?”  
“Not what. You. I was going through your bookshelf and found that art book you bought in New York. You obviously like art so let’s do art. You’re always talking about how we should do something different, well this will be different and I enjoy drawing and painting.”  
  
“That’s nice, but I’m really shitty at art.”  
  
“Liz, _no one_ can be shitty at art. It’s subjective.”  
  
“Alright, but you haven’t seen me draw a lopsided stick figure.”  
  
“Picasso painted disproportioned, lopsided people that looked more like alien cocks than your headphones. And people thought he was genius.”  
  
“Alright, fine, but we don’t own any paint or paintbrushes.”  
  
Frank stared at her with disapproval. “Lame. Go buy some.”  
  
“I’m not walking all the way to the mall!”  
  
“It’s called a bus. At least that’s what they were called when I was still able to walk outdoors.”  
  
“Let’s save the painting for when Jesse comes over next,” Lizzie reasoned. “Then we’ll all have something to do and I can tell my mom it’s an art project for school as an excuse for him hanging around up here with me.”  
  
Frank contemplated this for a moment before caving in. “Alright, but this better happen or I’m going to paint your face with Picasso in mind.” He gave a quick wink before disappearing just as Lizzie processed approaching steps.  
  
“Did a shelf collapse or something?” Isaac stared at the mess in surprise. “Were you talking to someone?”  
  
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder to her younger brother and smiled slightly. “No. Why, did you hear something?”  
  
“I thought I heard you talking about paint. I don’t know, this house is still as freaky as it was the first day we got here. Seriously though, what happened? Did you do this?”  
  
“Well who else would have, Ike? A ghost?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse returned to school on the following Tuesday. Lizzie kind of expected there to be a big fanfare, or at least some kind of warning, but the only warning she received was the sound of echoing shoes on stairs. It was still early and there were probably all of ten students in the school, two of which included her and Isaac who had agreed to accept the ride Olivia offered them that morning under the terms that they must be ready to leave abnormally early.  
  
“Good morning, Lizzie Silver. Still sitting on the ledge I see.”  
Lizzie scrambled to her feet quickly and watched with a blush to her cheeks as he finished ascending the stairs. His movements were a bit sluggish, as if he were still waking up, but overall he appeared fit and healthy in his still too minimal winter weather clothing.  
  
“Hey. Hi. Uh, yeah, the ledge. Where else?”  
  
He smiled and came to a pause in front of her as Lizzie’s fingers twitched at her sides, contemplating if it was appropriate or not to give him a hug. She’d held his hand and even fallen asleep on his lap, but a hug felt like crossing into another boundary entirely. Sure, Jesse was her friend, but was he the kind of friend to hug or the kind of friend she shared awkward waves with, forever unsure of how close their friendship really was? Hugging Frank never felt so complicated.  
  
Jesse didn’t move in for a hug, so Lizzie took it as a sign to respect his space and took a step back so he could get to his locker. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Really good, actually,” he answered simply and dropped his backpack onto the floor. “I have some doctor orders to follow, but other than that all is well and I can continue living life to the fullest.”  
  
“Cool. What aren’t you allowed to do?”  
  
“Unfortunately I’m not permitted to strip to Tom Jones for the next month or so,” he snapped his fingers just for kicks.  
  
“Rats,” Lizzie mused. “What will they do without you?”  
  
Jesse smirked and placed a couple notebooks onto the bottom of his locker and glanced up at the top shelf, obviously in search of something. “No contact sports for a while and be careful of certain electrical equipment, all that good stuff. Could you do me a favour and pass me my Math and Science textbooks?” he nodded up toward the shelf.  
  
Lizzie moved forward quickly to fulfill the request and watched carefully as Jesse moved his left arm forward and back slowly as if testing it out.  
  
“I’m not really supposed to raise my left arm above my head for the next month or so either,” he explained, “which is kind of a pain in the ass, because I think we all know I’m an avid cheerleader.”  
  
“Does your arm hurt?”  
  
“Nah, it just gets a bit stiff sometimes, because I don’t move it much.” He accepted the books from her one at a time to place on the bottom shelf of his locker and thanked her once done.  
  
A brief silence fell between them as Jesse slammed his locker shut and leaned back against it next to her.  
  
“So what have I missed?” he questioned. “Hey, when are we going to reschedule for Thursday? I found guitar tabs for a few songs I want to play.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged and was about to answer when Nathan and a couple other friends of Jesse’s called to him from down the hall excitedly. “You’re back,” Nathan’s voice bounced off the walls, and even from thirty feet away Lizzie could notice a relief that came over Nathan to see his best friend roaming the halls again. When Jesse was away Nathan had looked a bit lost; like half of him was missing and he didn’t know how to function without him there to springboard off of or play backup for. The two complimented each other and Lizzie assumed they must have been best friends for a very long time to have built such a strong friendship.  
  
“That I am,” Jesse perked up and pushed away from the lockers to greet the group of three that had joined them upstairs.  
  
“Shit, man, I thought you were actually going to croak,” Nathan gave a nervous laugh. “Can I hug you or will your stiches bust open?”  
  
“How hard do you plan on hugging me?” Jesse laughed and accepted the embrace, both boys slapping a hand on each other’s back before Jesse received hugs from the other guy and girl who’d tagged along with Nathan.  
  
Lizzie slipped away, back to the ledge where she’d left her things, but kept her hearing tuned in on their conversation about Jesse’s recovery process and what his pacemaker was for. She was about to dawdle her way to class early, but was paused in her tracks by Nathan calling her name.  
  
“Hold on, you should be here for this too!”  
  
Still standing a few feet away Lizzie watched Nathan dig around in his backpack before pulling out a badly wrapped box and the card she’d signed yesterday, still without its envelope. ‘Typical’ was the first thought that came to Lizzie’s mind. Not that she was a much better at wrapping gifts herself.  
  
Jesse grinned ear to ear as he accepted the present and eagerly began reading the card, seemingly more interested in the comments and signatures it possessed than the gift itself. “All these people chipped in?” he asked in awe. “Shit.”  
  
“You’re surprised?” the girl next to Nathan giggled. “Jess, get real.”  
  
“I’m a real boy,” Jesse absently mocked _Pinocchio_ , because all his attention was still fixed on the many comments on the card itself and the paper inserted, because evidently there hadn’t been enough room for all the words people had for him. It made Lizzie feel like slime, because she hadn’t thought about writing anything other than her name.  
  
“Ha,” Jesse glanced over to her and pointed to what was evidently her name. “You’re a true novelist, Lizzie.”  
  
“Sorry,” she muttered with a dark blush setting into her cheeks. “Shoulda made some kind of comment. I’m shitty at sympathy cards.”  
  
“No, I like it! It’s original. Plus, you could be famous one day and now I have your autograph.”  
  
He babbled on about all the ridiculous things she could become as he tore rapidly at the wrapping paper, letting it all fall carelessly to the floor so Nathan could play custodian and pick it all up with the shake of his head.  
  
“Whoa, you guys, thanks!” Jesse held up the complete series to a television show Lizzie was unfamiliar with, but one Jesse was clearly a fan of.  
  
“And this is a gift certificate to your second home, the skate shop,” Nathan tapped a finger against the small envelope attached to the DVD case.  
  
“Did you pickpocket the whole school?” Jesse gave a small laugh and held his arms open, albeit carefully. “Ok, all of you, lay it on me. Group hug.”  
  
There was an awkward pause as Jesse grouped together with his friends and kept his arm held out toward Lizzie. “Helloooo,” he called, “you coming over here or do I have to stalk you down? It’s rude to turn down a hug of thanks you know. Grin and bear it like the school cafeteria.”  
  
Lizzie shuffled forward reluctantly and settled against Jesse’s left side as gently as possible, allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist, and becoming equally as surprised to have Nathan clomp a hand on her back.  
  
“How weird do you think we all look right now?” Nathan asked after a few seconds had past.  
  
“Not weird enough,” Jesse quipped. “Quick! Someone grab my ass!”  
  
“I’d rather not,” Lizzie backed out of the group as everyone else cracked up in laughter.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
It wasn’t until the end of the day that Lizzie saw Jesse again, and was appalled that he thought a t-shirt and unzipped jacket was appropriate enough for the weather. “You’re kidding me, right?” she approached him with a frown. “You better tell me you’re getting a ride home in that attire.”  
  
“Is it too ugly to roam the streets in?” he cocked an eyebrow and glanced down at his outfit. “No ride today, thank God, because I’m pretty sure my mom would come marching in here to get me herself if she didn’t have work.”  
  
“This is why you get sick in the first place,” Lizzie scolded and pointed at his jacket. “Zip that up or I’m going to kick you.”  
  
“That’s just plain cruel,” Jesse teased but did as requested and zipped his jacket all the way up. “You don’t kick a kid that just had heart surgery.”  
  
“I’m so close to breaking that rule,” Lizzie pulled her mittens on and adjusted the collar on her jacket.  
  
Jesse was under strict order not to put any kind of stress on his left side in order to let his incision heal fully and so simply carried a binder of his homework and new DVD in his right hand.  
  
It hadn’t been an intention to walk home together, but considering they left at the same time and took the same route, it just ended up making sense to walk together. Lizzie would have placed a bet that Jesse would start wheezing, need to slow down or stop entirely, but he kept up the same pace as her and even needed to slow down for her sake at one point.  
  
“It’s the million layers you’re wearing,” Jesse pointed out.  
  
“I come from Dakota,” Lizzie argued. “You have to know how to dress in order to survive winter.”  
  
They both came to a pause where their paths separated, but as usual, Jesse made to continue forward and walk her home. Lizzie almost let him, because now that he knew Frank was hanging around at her house for eternity, there wasn’t anything stopping Jesse from coming to hang out after school. But then there was. Isaac. Isaac would be home and question why Jesse was over and how the hell Frank had suddenly appeared in her bedroom without him knowing. Eventually it would lead to gossip at the dinner table and her mother wanting to meet Frank who she’d recall as being the boy in the photograph who she too had found out died in 1989.  
  
Sometimes Lizzie was extremely tempted to let Olivia and Isaac in on the big secret, and just maybe they could all be a really weird family together. The single mother, her two biological children and the ghost named Frank. It sounded like a modern child’s picture book.  
  
“You can’t come over today, Jesse.”  
  
“I didn’t think so,” he explained. “It’s great weather, I thought I’d extend my walk today.”  
  
“Nice try, fellow pedestrian, but today the tables have turned and I’m the one walking you home.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie stood in the lobby of Jesse’s apartment building, wrinkling her nose over the scent of mop water and possibly potatoes. A cat paused by her feet mewing and she leaned down to scratch its head.  
  
“Landlady’s cat,” Jesse explained. “No one around here seems to know its name. Then again, no one around here seems to have ever seen the landlady either. I call the cat Freddie.”  
  
“Why Freddie?”  
  
“He looks like a Freddie.”  
  
“…Ok…”  
  
Freddie the cat became bored by Lizzie’s attention and moved off to an unknown sound, leaving the two teenagers alone once more. Jesse flexed his arm slowly and glanced toward the stairs. “…Did you want to come up for a bit? I can make hot chocolate.”  
  
“Thanks, but I should go,” Lizzie was quick to dismiss. “Saturday afternoon though? It’s decided?”  
  
“I’ll try not to ruin it again by having my heart go berserk,” he nodded confidently.  
  
“Because then I actually get to kick you.”  
  
Jesse gave a small laugh, letting it fade into a content smile. In the comfortable silence between them he inched forward, but on a second thought paused and backed up a couple feet toward the stairs instead. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school. And I’ll bring art supplies on Saturday.”  
  
Lizzie swallowed and nodded, unable to form actual words as he made his way up the stairs. The last time she’d felt so happily shaken up was when her lips had briefly collided with Frank’s, and that had only ended in disaster. Still, it didn’t stop the tingling occurring in her hands and the fluffy anxiety stirring in her stomach. What infuriated her was that it was _Jesse_ making her feel so flustered.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….............................


	22. Chapter 22

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Honey, Honey" - Chantal Claret_
  * _"Xmas Eve (She Got Up and Left Me) - Rancid (Not exactly Christmas in the story yet, but Christmas songs helped shape this chapter)._
  * _"Last Christmas" - Jimmy Eat World_
  * _"Santa Stole My Girlfriend" - The Maine_
  * _"Don't Bring Me Down" - Electric Light Orchestra (For the very ending of this chapter)._



........................................................................................................................................

 

Frank had been staring out the living room window for nearly an hour like a puppy that was missing their owner. The only person who knew of his presence by the window was Lizzie, though. It was an odd situation to be in the middle of, because while Frank was in the room, Lizzie couldn’t speak to him with her mother and brother also seated in the room. Olivia was catching up on some mending while Isaac completed some homework he hadn’t been able to accomplish yesterday.  
  
The television was playing a Christmas movie, which was way too early for many people, but Lizzie’s family never really minded the early festivities. The holiday season always sped by too fast and even if they had 365 days to plan ahead they still never managed to conquer all their plans and preparations. This year, however, would be different, and Lizzie was just happy to celebrate early in order to spend time with her mom and Frank before heading to California.  
  
Olivia had already insisted Jesse stay for dinner, just as Lizzie imagined she would. Olivia had asked what he was allergic to or wouldn’t eat and Lizzie had shrugged. She had no idea if he had any picky habits or if he was deathly allergic to artichoke. Was he on a restricted diet since the surgery? He’d seemed pretty open to eating anything the last time he’d been over and didn’t appear to have a problem with eating pizza covered with chocolate and anchovies if that had been the case. Still, Olivia was just going to wait and ask what he was in favour of once he’d arrived.  
  
A cool breeze swept over Lizzie but Olivia and Isaac didn’t seem disturbed by the sudden chill, which only led Lizzie to believe it was Frank trying to get her attention. And he was persistent as a heavy cold settled all over her and refused to give in. It felt like something, or in this case someone, was gripping around her.  
  
“Ok,” she muttered under her breath and squirmed around.  
  
“Hm?” Olivia looked up from her mending.  
  
“What?” Lizzie startled. “Nothing.”  
  
The whisper of a giggle drifted to her left ear and she squirmed again.  
  
Isaac stared across the coffee table to her – a perplexed expression on his face. It was official, Lizzie thought, Isaac thought she’d lost her mind.  
  
“I’ll be right back,” she announced to the entire room.  
  
“No one cares,” Isaac mumbled, his focus already set back on algebra.  
  
Lizzie began moving toward the stairs, relieved when the cold grip around her released. Upstairs and within the confines of her bedroom Frank appeared giggling at her side.  
  
“That was freakin’ freezing,” she shoved his arm. “What’s your problem?”  
  
“No problem,” he dismissed and collapsed onto her bed, landing in a grace no living human could possess. “Your brother’s a brainiac, huh? Or really digs his math teacher to bother with equations on a Saturday.”  
  
“He does pretty average,” Lizzie collapsed next to him on the bed and knocked the air out of her own lungs. “Better than me but definitely not Einstein. Maybe he could be if he gave up all the video games. But he’d probably declare himself abstinent sooner than give up his precious games.”  
  
Frank reached out and tickled at Lizzie’s neck lightly, a gentle smile crossing his lips. “Daphne had a brainiac brother. His name was Mitch.”  
  
Lizzie swallowed and didn’t dare move as Frank’s hand travelled down from her neck to her shoulder and then her arm. His gaze followed his own hand until he paused and let his gaze flicker back up to her face. “I never really got to meet Mitch. Not properly. I think I was always just that douchebag stealing his sister away.”  
  
“Ike kind of thought the same of you when he found you teaching me how to use a skateboard,” Lizzie spoke softly. She always found it difficult to function when Frank made such focused eye contact with her. And while she was all too aware of his stare, Frank seemed oblivious to it; like he was the one lost in her gaze, completely unaware he was staring.  
  
Frank smiled and pinned Lizzie against the bed with a hug and giggle. “Hug me, you’re warm.”  
  
“And you’re fucking cold,” Lizzie complained but wrapped both arms around him regardless. There was no way she’d turn down a brief snuggle with Frank. Not even if they were in the middle of Antarctica. While it made her happy to hug him, there was always a tinge of sadness that came with it; a little reminder that Frank could never actually be completely warm and could never again produce body heat.  
  
“Did you freeze to death, Frankie? Is that how it happened?”  
  
There was a moment where Lizzie thought maybe he hadn’t even heard her question, but then Frank spoke, and his words hurt to hear. “I think so. Maybe. I got into a car accident, I know that. And I know it hurt, but I don’t remember what it felt like. I do remember it getting colder and not being able to move. It was quiet, except for the wind, and then I suppose I died and was here.”  
  
“Just _here_? You don’t remember anything else?”  
  
“Well there wasn’t a coat check or anything. No Limbo lineup or magical scales measuring the worth of your soul.”  
  
“So…you died and then…here.”  
  
“I woke up in bed, just like you on any given school day. I tossed and turned for the longest time before realizing I wasn’t tired anymore…just lazy. So I got up and… I don’t know. Everything was gone.”  
  
“Your grandparents just upped and left?”  
  
“Hey, your guess is as good as mine. Actually, you probably know more,” he muttered and rolled off of her, feeling her body shake with cold.  
  
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked me about meeting your friends yet,” Lizzie explained quietly. “I met Ray, Bob, Mikey and Gerard.”  
  
“I don’t want to know,” he cut her off quickly.  
  
“But-“  
  
“No.”  
  
“How come?”  
  
Frank sat up on the bed and pulled at the sleeves of is hoodie nervously. He didn’t want to answer the question, but it was something he was forcing himself to do. “It was really difficult to hear about Nikki. How she is, where she is, what’s she’s doing… I’m not a part of her life anymore; I can’t be. And so… I can’t be a part of their lives either, and I think it’s easier if I don’t know what they’re all up to. I don’t want to hear what they had to say. They’re living out full lives and I’m… a dead teenager. Maybe Gerard became a famous artist or maybe he’s working a shitty desk job. I don’t want to know, because there’s nothing I can do to help him and there’s nothing he can do to help me. I’d rather paint a fictional world in my head, where everyone got to where they were going. I still want to believe Nikki is acting in Hollywood, like she always wanted to when she was younger. I hate knowing that she’s still stuck in dead-end jobs and struggling to raise two kids on her own. I hate knowing, because _I. Can’t. Help_.”  
  
Lizzie listened to all the pain chalked into his words and swallowed thickly. The stubborn side of her wanted to disagree it would be a bad thing. The stubborn side of her wanted to reveal that Gerard appeared to be an artist and that Bob was mopping floors at a grocery store. But Lizzie kept her mouth shut, and allowed Frank to do what he did best: change the entire subject on the turn of a dime.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
When the doorbell rang just over an hour later Lizzie sailed down the stairs in determination to answer it before her mother did. However, Olivia had similar intentions and gave her a daughter a small smirk of triumph as she pulled the door open.  
  
“Hi, Ms. Silver,” Jesse greeted. “How’re you?”  
  
Olivia stood aside to let him into the house with a smile. “Hello Jesse, I’m fine. But how are you doing? Lizzie filled me in about the surgery.”  
  
“I’m doing really good,” he confirmed. “Lizzie’s been on my case about following all my doctor orders at school.”  
  
“Has she?” Olivia glanced over her shoulder and gave her daughter a knowing look only mothers seemed capable of. It made Lizzie sick.  
  
“Not really,” Lizzie responded stubbornly. “Can we go now?” she motioned up the stairs. “I have everything set up so we can get this stupid project over with.”  
  
“You didn’t walk here did you?” Olivia ignored her daughter’s complaining.  
  
“Oh, no,” Jesse answered, “my mom dropped me off.”  
  
His gaze met Lizzie’s and she knew right there he had something to share about Nikki seeing the house she used to live in with her grandparents and deceased brother.  
  
“Good,” Olivia chimed happily and took Jesse’s jacket to hang up for him. “I hope you’ll stay for dinner. Lizzie wasn’t sure if you were allergic to anything so I’ve been putting off getting started.”  
  
“No allergies,” Jesse smiled. “And I was the kid in kindergarten who ate the crayons and paste, so I’ll basically eat anything.”  
  
Olive gave a laugh and turned to her daughter who’d been trying to stare a hole through her head. “Ok, ok,” she said quietly while passing by to the kitchen. “I’ll stop.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t utter a word until she was positive Olivia couldn’t hear over the rattle of pots and pans in the kitchen. “Hi.”  
  
“Hi,” Jesse mimicked and shook the bag in his hand. “I brought some art stuff, as requested.”  
  
“Yeah, I have some stuff upstairs,” Lizzie pointed. “And, uh, yeah.”  
  
“Decorating for Christmas already?” Jesse questioned the few ornaments and lights Olivia had already hung up around the room. She’d had all intentions of starting and finishing but time slipped by and there hadn’t been enough of it to complete the task that day.  
  
“A bit,” Lizzie shrugged and led the way up the stairs slowly. “The sooner it’s up the longer you have to enjoy it.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s what she said,” Jesse snorted laughter.  
  
“What?” Lizzie paused to glance over her shoulder.  
  
“…That’s what she said? The sooner it’s up… Well there goes my future as a comedian. Back to the drawing board.”  
  
“You’re a moron.”  
  
“I _know_ ,” Jesse sighed in mock agitation. “Oh my God, Lizzie, you really just have to let it go! I’m a moron! I’m an oddball, a jerk, a punk, a troublemaker, a weirdo, a dork. I know!”  
  
Lizzie blinked slowly and decided any comment she gave wouldn’t be doing her any favours in the conversation. Instead she settled on an unamused frown and continued up the stairs, unaware of the grin that spread across Jesse’s mouth as she did so.  
  
Frank was seated on the floor with newspaper and art supplies set out in front of him when they entered the room. He jumped up as soon as he saw his nephew and pointed an accusing finger at him. “You have a fucking heart condition and you never told me?”  
  
“In all fairness, I didn’t realize the severity of it until I woke up from the anesthetics,” Jesse held his hands up in surrender. “But I’m good. I don’t even notice it much.”  
  
“Can you, like, see it?” Lizzie grimaced. She didn’t like the idea of having something operating your heart being visible. It was like being given too much information and made her stomach churn over thoughts of feeling machinery fiddling with her own heart.  
  
“Only a bit,” Jesse answered. “You want to see?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie startled when he began tugging at the hem of his shirt.  
  
Jesse gave a laugh and ceased his actions. “Scars make you nervous, huh?”  
  
“A lot of things freak Liz out, she just doesn’t like to admit it,” Frank interjected.  
  
“It doesn’t freak me out,” Lizzie made contact with Frank’s arm with a smack. “I just don’t need to see it. Besides, he shouldn’t be moving his arm more than he has to.”  
  
“Aw, nurse Elizabeth,” Frank teased good naturedly. Evidently he’d been listening in on the conversation downstairs.  
  
“Look, both of you can just get the fuck out of my room if you’re going to be such dicks.”  
  
“Hey, I just asked if you wanted to see my scar,” Jesse responded and began pulling items out of the bag he’d brought with him. “I came here for the art and family bonding time.” A sketchbook, some pencils and oil pastels were Jesse’s choice of artistic integrity that evening it appeared. He lay them out on the newspaper and took a seat to make a point.  
  
“Don’t get your undies in a twist,” Frank hugged Lizzie from behind tightly before letting go and also taking a seat on the floor across from his nephew who was already sorting supplies out and offering Frank a blank piece of paper.  
  
Lizzie watched for a moment before deciding it was safe enough to join in when Jesse actually drew a line in his sketchbook “So why exactly are we so keen on doing arts and crafts?” Jesse questioned as soon as Lizzie had picked up a paintbrush with absolutely no idea what to paint with it. A blank canvas was one thing, but still another when you held a paintbrush like you were about to stab the page. Lizzie had never taken a proper art class, and the only techniques she had were that which she was taught in elementary school. Even then she always seemed to blend the wrong colours together, ultimately creating a vomit coloured blob that took up three quarter of her page.  
  
“Because Lizzie wants to do something different and this is different,” Frank responded simply. “And I’m going to prove that anyone is capable of art.”  
  
“I’ve seen elephants, dogs and gorillas paint,” Jesse enthused, “so I’m sure you’re as capable as one of them, Lizzie.”  
  
“Wow, thanks,” she scoffed and swept the dry brush across the page with a soft sigh. “This is stupid.”  
  
“Always willing to watch Trash take off her clothes again instead,” Jesse shot his right hand up in the air happily.  
  
“Yes,” Frank agreed and high-fived the other boy.  
  
“Ugh, you’re both pigs,” Lizzie groaned and fell back against the floor lazily. “Let’s just get this over with. What are you drawing?”  
  
“Well after our brief but riveting conversation about elephants being able to paint I’m going to paint a picture of an elephant painting a picture,” Jesse explained and reached for a paintbrush instead of the oil pastels.  
  
“And I’m drawing myself,” Frank explained and poked Lizzie in the side with a black Sharpie. “What’re you going to create? Make sure you use the googly eyes in it.”  
  
“The googly eyes were your idea,” Lizzie argued with a frown. “If anyone has to use them it should be you.”  
  
“I’ve got it,” Jesse interrupted and grabbed for the pack of ridiculous eyes. “They’ll look nice on Lizzie.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“The painting elephant I’m painting. I’m calling her Lizzie. Because you inspired it.”  
  
“Hold the fuck up,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes. “Are you implying that I’m an elephant?”  
  
“Lizzie, get real,” Jesse dismissed, leaving Lizzie a bit disgruntled as she reached out to snatch his sketchbook away. The result was the spilling of red and yellow paint across her own paper that began to pool together, creating an orange colour, that, while unintentional, at least wasn’t vomit coloured.  
  
“There’s your start,” Frank pointed calmly. “Sunrise? Sunset? Now make something of it.”  
  
She could understand the colour of a sunrise or sunset, but the image of it wasn’t decipherable in her mind. It looked like something not to be reckoned with as the paint spread slowly, seeping into the paper and consuming it with colour. “I don’t think there’s much to do with this,” she mumbled and pushed it aside. “It’s a mess.”  
  
“Just let it dry first,” Jesse reasoned. “Then you can paint something overtop of it.”  
  
“Or do some finger-painting,” Frank added. “Jeez, Liz, you’re so critical. Art is messy, make a mess.”  
  
“Fine, Dali, and what exactly are you drawing over there with art’s most delicate tool - the Sharpie?”  
  
Frank let a smirk play across his lips and held a finger up. “Just a minute, it’s almost done, you’re going to love it. I did a self-portrait.”  
  
Lizzie held back saying anything and instead leaned over to get a better look at Jesse’s artwork. He wasn’t exactly an artist himself, but at least when he drew an elephant you could tell it was an elephant. Its legs were disproportioned to its body and its ears were a tad on the small side too, but it was clearly an elephant and not a dog.  
  
“Alright I got it,” Frank interrupted Lizzie’s thoughts. “Check out this beaut.” The way he flipped his paper around with such flare left Lizzie in wonder if that was his big reveal, but the Sharpie marks on the otherwise blank page told another story, and it was Jesse who cracked up first.  
  
“What’s that?” he leaned forward to get a better view.  
  
“Uh, get your eyes checked, man, it’s a portrait of me, obviously.”  
  
Lizzie whipped the paper out of Frank’s possession, not overly concerned with inflicting paper cuts on him. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was immune to getting any kind of lacerations, but at the rate he was at, the snarky punk probably deserved a couple paper cuts.  
  
“What the hell, Frank?” Lizzie rolled her eyes but gave a small laugh none the less. It was difficult not to with a badly drawn stereotypical ghost flipping her off from the page.  
  
“Uncanny isn’t it?” Frank grinned.  
  
Jesse shook his head with another laugh as he returned to his own art project. “What were you like when you were alive?”  
  
“As flawless as I am now,” Frank quipped.  
  
“No, but really,” Jesse grew serious. “Being alone in a house for so many years probably rattled around with your mind. What were you like when you weren’t a ghost? I have an idea based on what your friends have told Lizzie and I, but I want to see if your description matches.”  
  
Frank scoffed and tossed the Sharpie onto the floor. The action left an uncomfortable silence and Lizzie avoided eye contact with either boy in the room. Instead she swept her paintbrush through the puddle of orange on her paper and doodled a stick person in the corner.  
  
“I was-“ Frank began and then paused. “I don’t know. Have you ever had to describe yourself to someone? It’s not easy.”  
  
“Job interviews,” Jesse shrugged simply.  
  
“No, no, that’s different,” Frank argued calmly. “That’s creating a list of things you’re good at for a job. It’s not describing your true personality, and that’s what you’re asking of me. So what exactly are you like, Jesse?”  
  
Jesse put his artwork down in order to flex his left arm slowly in thought. “I’m-“  
  
“Lizzie’s going to be able to attest to your words,” Frank smirked and successfully made Jesse blush, which didn’t happen all too frequently.  
  
“I don’t know him that well,” Lizzie mumbled lowly, so sure no one would be able to hear her, but of course she should have known better with a ghost at her side.  
  
“You know him well enough,” Frank countered.  
  
“I’m outgoing,” Jesse blurted out. “I like talking to people and learning about them. As a result I can be really annoying to a lot of people because I don’t give up easily. I like to try new things, but one of my favourite pass times is skateboarding. Uh…”  
  
“You’re a hard worker,” Lizzie mumbled, though kept her head down low, trying to make it look like all her attention was on her painting while she was hanging on Jesse’s every word.  
  
“No helping,” Frank scolded with a light slap to her thigh.  
  
“I guess so,” Jesse shrugged, unconvinced. “I do what I have to do.”  
  
“What does that mean?” Frank’s body grew rigid. “What do you mean by that? You do what you have to do?”  
  
“Late night shifts at McDonald’s?” Jesse startled over the expression on Frank’s face, a mixture of anger and worry. “Help mom with bills? I used to have a paper route as a kid too, but Aaron took over. Are you ok?”  
  
“Fine,” Frank dismissed and leaned back onto his hands. “How’s the painting going, Liz?”  
  
“Hey, that’s not fair,” Jesse frowned, “I just tried to give you a self-description, now it’s your turn.”  
  
The hairs on Lizzie’s arms stood on end because she knew Frank didn’t like to be pushed. Jesse was asking for a battle and when you had a ghost who could drop the temperature in a room to below freezing in a second, it wasn’t one Jesse could win.  
  
However, nothing happened and Lizzie glanced around the room subtly, trying to spot anything out of the ordinary that might be occurring. Maybe a wall cracking open or moving shadows, but nothing was out of place and all Frank did was stare back at his nephew.  
  
“Give me until after dinner and I’ll tell you more,” Frank settled with. “I’ll think about it and sum myself up as a careless teenager, just like you.”  
  
A triumphant grin pulled at the corner of Jesse’s mouth and he gave a nod of approval before settling back into his elephant painting without another word. Frank did the same with his own drawing, adding Sharpie bats and Sharpie jack-o-lanterns around his self-portrait like nothing awkward had occurred between himself and Jesse.  
  
“Sum yourself up, Liz,” Frank demanded only a moment later. “What do you think you’re like? I’ll let you know if you’re on the right track.”  
  
“I’m not being sucked into your stupid mind games,” she declined immediately. “This wasn’t my brilliant idea, so you two can bicker about it yourselves.”  
  
“You’re stubborn,” Jesse smiled, not menacingly or with any hint of malicious intent. In fact, he smiled fondly and dabbed his index finger into the puddle of orange paint on Lizzie’s page to add a sun on his own work. “You’re a tricky one to convince, but eventually you break down. It just takes an extra mile.”  
  
“You put up a strong front, but you’re actually really sensitive,” Frank added and tickled the back of her neck, also reassuring there were no ill-intentions with their scrutiny. “Like that one time, in October, after school.”  
  
“What happened?” Jesse inquired.  
  
“Shut up, Frank,” Lizzie snapped.  
  
“You made her cry,” Frank explained with narrowed eyes.  
  
“Me?” Jesse’s eyes grew wide and apologetic. “What? Why? What did I do?”  
  
“Nothing,” Lizzie sighed angrily. “It was nothing. You did nothing.”  
  
“Exactly,” Frank agreed. “Your friends were assholes to her and you did nothing to stick up for her. You walked away with them like the biggest prick ever. Wasn’t it you who invited her down to the cafeteria in the first place, jackass?”  
  
“Lizzie,” Jesse squeaked and quickly reached out to squeeze her arm. “I didn’t think- I just figured- No, I was, I was a total jackass, he’s right. I did invite you downstairs, but I wasn’t expecting an argument to break out between you and my friends. And, I mean, you were new and they’re my friends- Do you know what I mean?”  
  
Lizzie had never heard Jesse reduced to such choppy dialect. Even when he didn’t know what to say he still had a way of stringing words together with ease. Here he was, a stuttering apologetic bundle of nerves, trying to fix a mistake he’d made without knowing.  
  
“Whatever,” she shook her head. “That happened in October, it’s long over.”  
  
“No, it can’t be over,” Jesse explained, “because I never apologized. I’m sorry, Lizzie.” He leaned forward to her surprise and pulled her into a hug. “I hate that I made you cry. Fuck. Here, hurt me back. Punch me in the face.”  
  
Lizzie snorted laughter and gently pushed him away. “Yeah, right.”  
  
“Alright, but one day you can pay me back. Just say ‘when’.”  
  
“Now that, that’s settled,” Frank clapped his hands together. “You’re also a lover of sparkly vampires and I’m never going to let that one slide.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Dinner consisted of a new chicken dish Olivia had been meaning to try out for some time, some mixed vegetables and freshly baked bread that she’d picked up at the store earlier that day. She’d even gone as far as to decorate the table with a table cloth and the dinner plates used for holidays, making Lizzie eye her with a grim knowing look from across the table.  
  
“So, Jesse, have you always lived in New Jersey?”  
  
“Sure have,” he answered. “There’s a lot of Jersey pride in my small family. My mom actually went to the same school we go to now,” he further explained with gestures to himself, Lizzie and Isaac. “My dad’s not really in the picture anymore, but he was born here too.”  
  
“That’s nice,” Olivia smiled sweetly. “Well I know Lizzie hated the thought of coming to Jersey originally, but it was a new and interesting opportunity, so I couldn’t say no. Isaac’s my easy going child. He just goes with the flow. Hm, Ike?”  
  
“Uh, yeah, mom,” Isaac agreed and took another forkful of vegetables. “It’s alright here, I guess. A lot different than Dakota though.”  
  
Lizzie had gone throughout the dinner with very few words aside from ‘yes’, ‘no’, and ‘maybe’. She communicated best with narrowed eyes and horrified expressions over the prodding questions her mother dared to voice. Like what kind of grades Jesse pulled in or what he planned on doing with his life. It was all very personal and she made it sound like she was trying to wed Lizzie off.  
  
“I see you have a tattoo,” Olivia noted when Jesse further rolled up his sleeves, revealing the words on his forearm. “What does that say? ‘Live &; Learn’?”  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Jesse grinned. “My mom let me get it when I was sixteen. It took a lot of convincing, but she approved this one.”  
  
“Well it’s a good saying,” Olivia nodded after some contemplation. She wasn’t the biggest fan of tattoos and piercings, but Jesse was not her son and she had no right to imply her disapproval of them or his mother’s parenting skills. “I bet Lizzie will get one once she’s eighteen, she used to talk my ears off about them when she was in middle school.”  
  
“Really?” Jesse eyed the girl next to him with amusement. “I didn’t know that. What did you want to get? Or what do you want to get?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lizzie stared down at her plate, not at all thrilled to have the conversation turned on her. “I never really had a solid idea beyond just wanting one.”  
  
“I think you could rock a tattoo if that’s what you really want,” Jesse took a sip from his glass of soda. “There’s a ton of great tattoo shops in town to choose from.”  
  
“Maybe,” Lizzie reverted back to her one word replies as Isaac engaged Jesse in on a conversation about a skateboarding video game he’d heard of.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The art supplies were still scattered about on the floor when Lizzie and Jesse returned to her bedroom after dinner. The only difference was the googly eyes stuck in the not yet dry puddle of orange paint and an obscure doodle in the corner of the page next to her stick figure, which on closer inspection turned out to be a penis.  
  
“Frank,” she sighed to the air, startling back a couple steps when the ghost boy appeared in front of her with a grin.  
  
“You called?”  
  
“Quit that,” she frowned, automatically going to shove him back out of reflex, but was pulled against his body instead.  
  
“Nice try,” he whispered against her neck, making Lizzie shiver and grip tightly to his arms. “You’re cute when you scowl.”  
  
“Am I cute when I knee you in the groin too?” she threatened, albeit jokingly, earning her a giggle from her ghostly friend.  
  
“Jesse,” Frank spoke up as he backed away from Lizzie and moved closer to his nephew. “Are you ready to hear my self-description? I thought long and hard about this one while you both were chowing down. And I came to the conclusion that I was a very complicated living teen.”  
  
Jesse and Lizzie stood still, waiting for more of an explanation that didn’t come. Instead Frank held his arms open and smiled. “There you have it. That’s it.”  
  
“Noooo, no, no,” Jesse dragged out. “You have a lot more explaining to do for that half-assed answer. What made you so complicated?”  
  
“Alright, I’ll tell you,” Frank caved in. “I could be a lot of fun; I could have the room in fits of laughter if I wanted. I was really talented on guitar and played in a band that had major potential to make it big. I was a good person when I wanted to be, and I helped friends countless times, be it moving to a new house, giving them advice or just listening.”  
  
“So then where’s the complicated?” Lizzie asked quietly from next to him.  
  
“I was a shitty brother,” he spoke directly to Jesse. “Not always, but, I definitely could have been better. I stayed out a lot and scared the hell out of Nikki. I got good friends into rough situations and even submitted my girlfriend to possible danger. Because I _did what I had to do_. Just like you, Jesse, but with so much more gravitas that I hope you never have to experience in your life. I’m sure at least one of the guys you talked to have mentioned the little fact that I dealt drugs.”  
  
Jesse gave a brief nod and sighed. “Yeah. But they never considered you a bad person.”  
  
“I got mixed up with bad people for quick money that Nikki and I didn’t have after we left home. Do you know about your mom? Really know her story?”  
  
“That she used to prostitute herself? Yeah. She told me a couple years ago.”  
  
“Look, Jesse, what I did and what your mom did was a trap. And in the end it killed me.”  
  
“You were drugged out and crashed, right?”  
  
“No,” Frank gave a faint, saddened smile. “I wasn’t. I did crash though.”  
  
“So what happened to you?” Jesse asked the question Lizzie had asked earlier that same day.  
  
“I crashed and I died, Jesse.”  
  
“Before that! Where were you going what happened between my mom and you before you took off? You left that party early and no one knew where you were going! Where were you going what were your intentions? What made you crash? Ice? Did you fall asleep at the wheel? What?!”  
  
“This conversation has really taken a turn,” Frank quipped with the fakest smile Lizzie had ever seen him produce. “I thought were talking about personalities not fatalities. We should discuss your near fatality now, don’t you think? Did you have an out of body experience when they had to jumpstart your heart?”  
  
“I didn’t die.”  
  
“You could have. But what does it matter to you the reason I died? I’m just a monster to you.”  
  
“I didn’t say that,” Jesse’s voice softened significantly as he shuffled on the spot. “I just wish things could have ended differently. I wish you were still around now.”  
  
“He is,” Lizzie argued, but shrunk back into herself when both Jesse and Frank gave her a look that told her what she already knew - that she was wrong. “You’re not. You’re not around anymore.”  
  
Warm tears prickled at the corner of Lizzie eyes as she sat down at the edge of her bed and sighed shakily. “You’re not around.”  
  
“But I still exist to you,” Frank’s voice felt close and Lizzie felt cold arms slide around her waist snugly. “And I’m really thankful for that, Liz.”  
  
“Me too,” she squeaked and felt his hand travel up her back to her head. The brush of cool lips against her cheek and Lizzie surrendered to the sensation as his fingers became tangled in her hair. There wasn’t anything her brain could process other than cold and warm when his mouth met hers.  
  
Sighing softly she wrapped her arms around him, pressing their bodies together as Frank’s hand continued to play with her hair. She’d completely forgotten Jesse was even in the room until a thud captured both her and Frank’s attention.  
  
Lizzie’s lips burned with cold and she quickly moved away from Frank, eyeing Jesse instead who had backed up and caught his shoulder on the doorframe.  
  
“S-sorry,” he muttered, and a deep blush set into his cheeks. “I gotta go. I should go. Sorry.”  
  
“Jesse,” Frank’s expression held sympathy and guilt.  
  
“Wait,” Lizzie chased after her new friend down the stairs where he reached for his jacket off the hook and hastily pulled it on with a wince and without so much as a glance Lizzie’s way. “Jesse, I’m sorry, we should have waited or something. You don’t have to be embarrassed or anything. Don’t leave yet.“  
  
“You didn’t even say ‘when’,” Jesse gave a struggled laugh and opened the front door. “Thanks for having me over. Uh, thank your mom for me too. I- Uh- See you at school. Bye.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie glanced at the time on her cell phone and groaned. Wednesday, and she had yet to run into Jesse at school. He was avoiding her like the plague, much like she’d tried to avoid him over a month ago. Unfortunately Jesse was turning out to be a professional at hiding and even when she had seen him down the hall he’d somehow manage to slip away with a crowd of people.  
  
Even standing by her locker all lunch didn’t set a trap for him, because he never showed up to grab his lunch. Today she’d gone as far as she search him out in the cafeteria, but it was like he’d evaporated into thin air.  
  
She was just about to head home when she saw a familiar face in the hallway and hurried toward his tall frame. “Nathan, hi!”  
  
“Hey, Lizzie,” he greeted and paused to stuff a notebook into his backpack as they conversed. “How’s it going?”  
  
“Ok,” she shrugged slowly. “Have you seen Jesse?”  
  
“Sure. He left about five minutes ago, why? He got a ride today.”  
  
“I was just hoping to talk to him is all. I haven’t been able to catch him in the last couple days.”  
  
“Did something happen between you two?” Nathan inquired and narrowed his eyes curiously.  
  
“Not that I know of,” Lizzie bit down on the inside of her cheek, which was an obvious giveaway to Nathan who nodded in understanding. “Well thanks anyway. If you run into him can you tell him I’d really like to talk? It’s about an art project.”  
  
“Art project, ok, gotcha,” Nathan gave a small, amused chuckle. “Work on your cover up stories.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t bother protesting and simply watched Jesse’s best friend walk away with another chuckle, leaving her in the middle of the empty hallway.  
  
Frank hadn’t been talking much to her the last few days either. Instead he’d explained how big of a mistake he’d made and hid up in the attic to wallow in his feeling of guilt. It left Lizzie feeling hazy and disoriented. It was all too much to handle at one time and she was trying to figure out where she needed to begin in order to fix all the drama that had unraveled because of a kiss.  
  
Taking her phone out again Lizzie sent another message to Jesse, already positive he wouldn’t respond. Just like he hadn’t responded to her previous five messages. ‘ _Missed ya again today! Where do you go at lunch?_ ’  
  
Slipping the gadget into the pocket of her jacket she made her way out of the school and home.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“I still find it odd that Jesse just took off like that on Saturday,” Olivia pondered allowed at dinner yet again that Wednesday night. Isaac rolled his eyes, beyond tired of hearing all about Jesse again. “He’s such a sweet boy, Lizzie, it just didn’t seem like him to leave like that. Was he feeling ok? He did get home safely didn’t he? If I knew he was going to be walking I would have given him a ride! I don’t like that he had to walk home like that. He just had surgery.”  
  
“I think he just remembered something he had to do at home,” Lizzie shrugged helplessly. “He had to leave quickly. But he got home alright. He’s fine.”  
  
“Hm,” Olivia shook her head in bewilderment. “As long as he got home safely. Did you two finish your art project at least?”  
  
“Yeah, done.”  
  
“I didn’t even know you and him had an art class together,” Isaac furrowed his brows together in thought. “Do you even take art?”  
  
“It was for a science presentation thing,” Lizzie stuttered. “Whatever, it’s done.”  
  
Isaac poked at his meal, clearly unconvinced, but moved on as Olivia began gushing over some holiday napkins she’d found at the store.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
By Friday Lizzie gave in and walked the path to Jesse’s place yet again. At this rate she felt like she could actually point out her own footsteps in the snow guiding her there. She had to start fixing the problem somewhere, and talking with Jesse seemed like the best bet. At least, in the past, he’d proven to be a bit more open to discussion than Frank.  
  
The door opened with a groan and Lizzie used reflexes she didn’t even know she had in order to stop Freddie, the cat, from running out into the winter cold. “Are you crazy? It’s warm in here! It smells awful, but at least it’s warm!”  
  
She scratched the feline behind its left ear and smiled in satisfaction when Freddie began to purr. “At least someone’s happy,” she sighed heavily and moved to the stairs.  
  
It didn’t matter how many times she went over the words in her head, she knew that once she was face to face with Jesse she would muddle up exactly what she meant to say. And that was only if he gave her the chance to talk, which at the rate they were going she doubted very much.  
  
Lizzie stood in front of the apartment door and knocked a few times. She straightened out her jacket and ran her fingers through her hair as she waited for someone to answer. She could hear approaching footsteps that paused briefly as the padlock was fiddled with. “Ooh-la-la, Jess, I think it’s for you,” Lizzie heard a vaguely familiar voice remark behind the door.

  
A quick panic bubbled in Lizzie’s stomach, but she didn’t have time to act on it as the door opened and she was met with the same playful smirk she’d only witnessed via webcam.

  
“In the flesh, hi, Lizzie,” Mikey greeted and leaned against the doorframe.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	23. Chapter 23

Stunned, Lizzie was yanked into the apartment by the arm. When she knocked on the door the last person she thought she’d find on the other side was Mikey. And a very chipper Mikey at that, leaving Lizzie to believe that maybe this dude didn’t have a miserable bone in his body. Even now, standing still in the hallway he seemed to be buzzing – but that could also be due to the caffeine he was evidently drinking from the Starbucks cup in his hand.  
  
“…Is Jesse home?” Lizzie asked after another moment of awkward silence, during which Mikey simply watched her. Obviously he wasn’t feeling as out of place as she was.  
  
“We only just met in person and the first thing you want to know is where Jesse is?” he scoffed.  
  
“…Well he is who I came to see… No offence.”  
  
Mikey stood smiling widely and looked about ready to start doing jumping jacks. “Jesse! Your girlfriend’s here!”  
  
Lizzie cringed and wished for the power of disappearance. Mikey was clearly not in the know.  
  
“Not my girlfriend,” Jesse mumbled as he came around the corner, ruffling his hair and reluctant to make eye contact. “And I heard you call the first time. Hi, Lizzie.”  
  
Mikey hung back and watched the awkward encounter between the two teenagers play out as he sipped his coffee. “Is there a draft in here, because it just got a bit chilly all of a sudden. What’s up with you two?”  
  
“Nothing,” Jesse sighed and shuffled around on the spot. “Tired. Sorry.”  
  
“Dude, if you’re not feeling good lie down,” Mikey looked momentarily alarmed. “Your mom’s not home right now and I don’t do well in emergency situations. If your heart stops Lizzie’s going to have to supply the CPR. Which, actually, probably isn’t that bad a thing for you, huh?” he winked and nudged the boy’s arm.  
  
“Isn’t your wife pregnant?” Lizzie cut into the conversation sharply and frowned even more at the man in the room with them. Suddenly Mikey was the most annoying human being on the face of the earth and she wanted him to leave the place so her and Jesse could piece together their friendship again.  
  
“Pretty sure,” Mikey responded calmly without further explanation and with a gentle grin just egging Lizzie on and welcoming her into conversation.  
  
“So you’re here because…? “  
  
“She’s not due for another couple months and after hearing about Jesse’s visit to the hospital I thought it would be a good time to travel home and pay a visit. I was worried about this little dude,” Mikey teased and ruffled Jesse’s hair affectionately. “Your mom scared the shit out of me when she called. I thought you were a goner based on her level of freak out. Not to mention that your mom hasn’t called me in actual years so…there was that too.”  
  
“She doesn’t really have many people to call when something bad happens,” Jesse explained quietly.  
  
“I’m glad to be one of them,” Mikey answered seriously. “Well not glad when something bad happens, but you know what I mean. You’re family to me, Jess. Always will be.”  
  
A rattle in the lock had everyone in the room pause and a moment later Nikki and Aaron both walked through the door with bags of groceries in hand. Nikki flicked her hair out of her face and quickly handed off her bags to Mikey who reached for them instantly. “Thanks, Chiclet,” she breathed and closed the door.  
  
Lizzie stared oddly between Mikey and Nikki, wondering where the hell such a bizarre pet name stemmed from. Who called anyone a Chiclet?  
  
“The elevator’s still out of commission,” she ranted to no one in particular. “I’ll have to give Patti a call again this evening.”  
  
“Who’s that?” Jesse asked his mother and glanced in one of the bags Aaron was carrying by. “Did you buy more pudding cups?”  
  
“The landlady, sweetie,” Nikki answered patiently and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Mom,” Jesse argued and swatted her hand away, only to have it placed against his cheek in concern. “ _Mom_! I’m fine! It’s been, like, a month.”  
  
“Hardly,” Nikki disagreed and frowned. “You’re a bit flushed. Do you feel ok? Maybe you should go have a nap.”  
  
“I don’t need a nap. All I want to know is if you bought-“  
  
“Yes, I bought you more pudding,” Nikki sighed with the roll of her eyes and seemed to realize Lizzie was stood awkwardly in the corner. Trying and failing to be invisible she examined every other nook and cranny from her standstill trying to look engaged in anything but their conversation. “Hi, Lizzie,” she greeted with a faint smile before exiting to the kitchen when the sound of boxes toppling over sounded.  
  
Jesse gave an annoyed sigh that led Lizzie to believe that the present commotion was a usual occurrence and motioned to the door. “Let’s talk out in the hall, it’s pretty crazy in here.”  
  
Lizzie had a moment of panic with the realization that she was about to discuss possibly the most awkward situation she’d ever been in. While it was her intention to speak with Jesse privately, now that it was happening, she wanted to reverse time and run home directly from school .  
  
“Hallway,” Jesse gestured up and down the carpeted floor as the door shut. Even his normally calm nature was riddled with uncomfortable posture and frequent fidgets, leading Lizzie to believe that maybe he was feeling more out of place than she was.  
  
“You haven’t been replying to texts,” Lizzie mumbled quietly. “You’re basically invisible at school, I can never catch up to you. Sorry for just showing up, but I want to know what’s next in the plans. Are we going to visit Gloria still?”  
  
Jesse looked momentarily stunned and faltered in his response – folding his arms and leaning against the wall with an uncertainty that was usually so absent from his personality. “Gloria… Uh, I don’t know.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Lizzie jumped from calm to agitated. “You’re the one who suggested it, did you forget?”  
  
“No, I didn’t forget,” Jesse leaned forward and stared down at his sneakers. A door creaking open down the hall revealed an elderly lady who waved happily to Jesse and disappeared into the stairwell. It was a minor distraction, but it seemed to be what Jesse needed to get his words flowing again. “No, I didn’t forget, Lizzie. I think that maybe I’m just shocked and a bit sickened that the girl I’ve been crushing on is locking lips with a ghost. You’re entitled to like who you want, I get that, but I do think that maybe if you’re so hung up on my dead uncle then maybe it’s best we cancel these big plans to, you know, help him on to the next life or whatever. I mean, if you want to spend your entire life pining over a teenaged ghost and all.”  
  
Lizzie clenched her jaw and felt her face grow warm as Jesse ranted on about the obscurity of being in love with a ghost.  
  
“You know that’s what’s going to happen, right? He’s always going to be nineteen, and you’re going to turn into a freaky old lady who lives in a dilapidated old house. You won’t have children, you won’t have friends, your family will probably abandon you because they can’t handle your bizarre behaviour-“  
  
Lizzie’s bottom lip trembled, and she grew even more furious, because what right did Jesse have to make her feel so pitiful and heartbroken. In one swift motion she shoved him against the wall as hard as she could before turning away sharply. “That all sounds a shitload better than spending another minute with you.”  
  
The apartment door opened, revealing a curious looking Mikey who eyed Lizzie just as she was leaving to the stairwell. “What’s going on?”  
  
Jesse’s silence supplied Mikey with all he needed to know before letting the other furious teenager back into the apartment.  
  
“It’s nice to see that teenage hormones are still all the rage!”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie didn’t return home immediately after her fight with Jesse. If she went home it meant possibly dealing with Frank, and two arguments in one day, with two of the only friends she had in Jersey, didn’t seem very appealing. Instead Lizzie hopped on the first bus that came by and wound up in a neighbourhood she wasn’t familiar with.  
  
“Great,” she huffed and plunked down on a grimy bench. The cold air was a sharp sting to her nose and the snow quickly began to soak through her jeans, but for one of the few times in her life, Lizzie didn’t care. Lizzie didn’t care about the relentless weather or how much she missed her old friends. Lizzie didn’t really care about much in the moment, because all her thoughts were consumed with the truth of Jesse’s ranted words. Realistically, yes. Lizzie would age and Frank wouldn’t. But that didn’t mean she was going to turn into a hermit, and it didn’t mean she wouldn’t have kids, because, adoption was a thing. Of course, their father would still be a teenaged ghost…  
  
Lizzie let out an exasperated sigh and buried her face into her hands. She knew that falling in love was supposed to be something tricky. After all, every movie she’d ever seen depicted it as such. But she bet most people didn’t have to deal with falling in love with a ghost. A select few, maybe, but definitely not the majority.  
  
Dragging herself off the bench Lizzie examined the bus schedule, deciding that venturing to the mall seemed like a decent enough distraction from dealing with Frank for the time being. The only problem was that Lizzie really had no clue where she was and inevitably hopped onto the wrong bus.  
  
The bus wasn’t overly crowded, but she did end up sitting next to a burly looking man with a goatee. He didn’t look particularly threatening, but he did have a weird musky smell about him. Lizzie crinkled her nose but tried to let her disgust go unnoticed. Instead she let her focus zero in on her vibrating cell phone.  
  
 _Hey, loser, what do you want for dinner? Mom wants to know._  
  
Rolling her eyes Lizzie’s thumbs glided across the keyboard on her phone seamlessly.  
  
 _I unno, whatever._  
  
 _You’re useless._  
  
Lizzie pocketed her phone again and glanced out the window with a start. “What?”  
  
“Hm?” the goatee man responded.  
  
“No, sorry. Uh…” Lizzie hurried to the front of the bus. “Where are we? This isn’t the way to the mall.”  
  
“This bus doesn’t go to the mall,” the woman sighed heavily. Clearly she had been putting up with ridiculous comments and questions all day. “You want the 56. You’ll have to get off here, cross the street and walk three blocks to the next bus stop.”  
  
The woman didn’t wait for Lizzie to answer. Instead she opened the door and stared up at Lizzie with a challenging look, just daring her to ask another question.  
  
Lizzie didn’t utter a thank you, but she did hurry off the bus and watch it trundle toward its next stop a couple blocks down. “Great. Best day of my life,” she mumbled and examined her surroundings. It wasn’t a bad area. In fact it was pretty decent and looked oddly familiar. Lizzie took three steps forward and slipped on a patch of ice, landing on her side hard. Thankfully no one was around to have witnessed the slip and Lizzie took the liberty to roll around childishly with a groan before it came to her exactly where she was. Jesse had almost wiped out similarly in this area of town on their way up the driveway to Gerard’s house. She was back in Gerard’s neighbourhood.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie hadn’t meant to walk to Gerard’s house. At first she had every intention of walking the three blocks to the bus stop the snotty bus driver had directed her toward. However, being in the middle of an argument with Jesse and him being uncertain about the visit to Gloria’s left Lizzie wondering if there was any possibility of pulling more answers from Gerard. Maybe he could even take her to see Gloria and then she wouldn’t need Jesse at all.  
  
She was halfway to the front door when a car pulling up caught her attention, namely because whoever was driving knew her name. Lizzie turned quickly and found Mikey leaning out the window.  
  
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.  
  
“Considering Gerard’s my brother, I should be asking you what you’re doing here,” Mikey countered seriously.  
  
Never before had Lizzie wished she held a world track record, but right then all she wanted was to have enough stamina to race home. Mikey’s gaze remained on her questionably. He really did want an answer, and Lizzie didn’t have a sane enough one to give. “…I got lost,” she finally admitted. “I remembered Gerard lived around here though.”  
  
“Yeah, ok,” Mikey dismissed. “Hop in.”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Hop in. I’ll give you a ride home.”  
  
“I don’t even know you!”  
  
“Are you playing the stranger danger card on me? We Skyped.”  
  
“Once!”  
  
“And I was loveable. You said you’re lost, I’m offering you a ride home. I know my way around Jersey, I used to live here.”  
  
Lizzie had two options available to her. She could refuse his offer of a ride home and trek up to the bus stop she was supposed to in the first place, or she could cave in and let the man drive her home. Considering she was already minutes away from being a shivering mess, it wasn’t as difficult a decision as it normally would be.  
  
“Fine,” she accepted curtly and crunched through the snow to the vehicle Mikey sat in warmly with a smug look on his face that made Lizzie feel like she’d caved in too easily.  
  
Lizzie got into the passenger seat and refused to make eye contact with the man. Instead she noted the coffee in the cup holder and tuned into the sounds of what she vaguely recognized as _The Smashing Pumpkins_ playing on the stereo system.  
  
“Are you ever not drinking coffee?”  
  
Mikey finished switching to another song on his iPod which began pumping through the speakers in a similar muffled volume as The Smashing Pumpkins. “You live with an angry pregnant woman for thirty-one weeks and see what you’re drinking twenty-four-seven. I think I’m doing pretty damn good if coffee is my only vice.”  
  
“I’m surprised your wife hasn’t killed you yet with all the stupid comments you make.”  
  
“There’s still time,” Mikey smirked. His driving wasn’t as bad as Lizzie anticipated, and while he did somehow drive up over the curb while pulling away he didn’t continue any clunky habits on the actual road.  
  
“Where do you live?” Mikey questioned about five minutes into the quiet drive.  
  
“Where Frank and Nikki used to live.”  
  
“So you live in a ditch? They knocked that building down years ago it was so infested. I think someone actually fell through the stairs.”  
  
Startled, Lizzie quickly looked at Mikey whose gaze remained focused on the road. “No, uh, their grandparents?”  
  
“Oh, ok, well that makes more sense. Never been there though, so I need an actual address.”  
  
Lizzie muttered her response and hugged her bag tightly against her body. Another memory of Frank’s had been reduced to rubble. Just another something she was never going to be able to visit and relive through his stories.  
  
“Gee’s not home anyway,” Mikey spoke up before taking a gulp of coffee at a red light. “He’s on vacation in Japan until Tuesday, so I’m house sitting.”  
  
Now Lizzie felt even more foolish. Of course Gerard wasn’t home. How convenient would it be if he were when she arrived, and nothing seemed very convenient in Lizzie’s life as of late.  
  
“I never thought about going to Japan before. I guess that’s pretty cool.”  
  
“An anime lover’s wet dream,” Mikey agreed. “Gee’s an artist and he really likes Japanese art, so he’s living in his own personal version of heaven right now.”  
  
Lizzie pondered Mikey’s words, wondering what Frank’s version of ‘heaven’ would be if he had one. What did he want to accomplish in life? Did he want to pursue that rock star dream? Travel the world and rake in cash? Or did he want to live out the family man dream? Settle down, have kids and stay in one location? Had Frank ever travelled anywhere aside from New York and California? Lizzie could ask, but she knew he would skim over answers – providing her with the bare minimum and leaving the interesting bits out.  
  
Lizzie was lost in her thoughts and only became aware that the car was parked when Mikey waved a hand in front of her face. Reflex had Lizzie reaching for the door handle, but froze when Mikey laughed.  
  
“Did you want to move in here? Might be a bit drafty, there being no walls and all.”  
  
Lizzie examined their surroundings and must have looked the definition of miffed because Mikey pointed to the empty lot outside her window and proceeded to explain. “This is where Frank and Nikki used to live when we were younger. It was a real dump, but it was still a pretty wicked place. The whole apartment building was basically party central on weekends. Never a shortage of booze, that’s for sure.”  
  
“Were there always a lot of parties?” Lizzie’s eyes traveled around the filthy piece of land. It appeared to be a miniature garbage dump with the amount of debris collecting on the property; smothering the grass and chalking up a bad reputation for the other buildings in the area. Still, a part of Lizzie wanted to dig around. Maybe there were buried treasures of Frank’s in all the mess. It was an unrealistic wish and so instead of grabbing a shovel and gloves, Lizzie fiddled with the zipper on her bag.  
  
“Could never be enough parties,” Mikey sounded bittersweet. “I guess it’s been about sixteen years since they knocked it down now. Something like that at least. Shit, I’m old aren’t I?”  
  
“Nah,” Lizzie smiled weakly. “Are you excited to be a dad?”  
  
Mikey gave a small laugh and slumped back against his seat with childlike nerves taking over. “I never wanted to be a father, but now that it’s happening, yeah, I’m excited. Mostly scared shitless, but in an excited way.”  
  
“Does your brother have kids? It didn’t seem like it when Jesse and I went to visit him. No offence, but your brother kind of has freaky vibes about him.”  
  
Mikey laughed, “Yeah, you’re not the first person to point that out. I guess the freaky vibes come from being so introverted. He’s not creepy, just artistic and really fucking smart. I got all the charm genes. But no, no kids. So Jess and Aaron are kind of like my adopted nephews. When I moved to California we kind of drifted apart though.”  
  
The words stung Lizzie as she thought of her dad and how little she spoke to him since moving to Jersey. Skype chats and phone calls helped, but they weren’t enough. Not when she still saw her mom every day. It just didn’t seem fair. “My parents got divorced earlier this year and my dad lives in California now. It sucks. But I’m going to visit for Christmas.”  
  
“Yeah, divorce sucks. Alright, off to Frankie’s old house we go. “  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The ride wasn’t as awkward as Lizzie had first anticipated it being. In fact, she was a bit sorry to see it come to an end when they parked up front of her house. The sky was beginning to darken and the lights in the living room emitted a warm glow that looked welcoming in contrast to the icy cold outside.  
  
“So this is it, huh?” Mikey startled Lizzie when he spoke. “Not the most modern looking place in the world is it?”  
  
“You should have seen it when we first moved in. There were boards over some of the windows. It looked like a crime scene.”  
  
“And was _The Adam’s Family_ ok with you moving in or did Uncle Fester sneak dynamite under your pillow while you slept?”  
  
Lizzie emitted a laugh, “Pretty sure I thought something similar when I first saw the place.”  
  
“So no dynamite?” Mikey enquired as he reached for his coffee with a smile.  
  
“No, but- Well, a lot of Frank’s stuff was still around. Clothes and stuff.”  
  
The information didn’t appear to startle Mikey as it did most others she’d informed. Instead he nodded as if he’d heard it all before. “Well he did move back in with his grandparents before the accident. They were pretty upset – I can imagine them not finding the guts to go through his things. Did you keep anything? He had some pretty cool gear when we were teens.”  
  
“Yeah, actually. A few things. Some music and posters.” Lizzie thought about teenage Mikey and Frank at a crazy party, listening to the same music she now had in her possession. She wondered how Mikey would react if she told him his friend was a ghost living in her house. For a second she even let the words play at the tip of her tongue. She could impulsively blurt it out – just like someone _could_ strip naked in the middle of a cafeteria and dance across the tables. Just like someone _could_ fill their house with cats, or gamble all their money, or push someone in front of a train. She _could_ tell Mikey. But she wouldn’t. Something about explaining to Mikey that one of his best friends was still around seemed unfair. Just like Frank had been cheated out of his life, Mikey had been cheated out of what could have been a life-long friendship.  
  
“Thanks for the ride, Mikey.”  
  
“No problem. And hey – you could do a lot worse than Jess. I’m just throwin’ that out there. Clearly you’re both in the midst of teenage hormones, but I think he really digs you. I’ll give you some advice. Are you ready? You really should be taking notes. I’ve got the pick-up line of all pick-up lines and it’ll totally work for both guys and gals alike. You say: ‘Fuck the pick-up lines, you’re hot, let’s make out’.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t know what she’d been expecting from the man. It wasn’t like profoundness was his forte. “Uh, thanks? Seriously, how the hell did you ever end up in a relationship?”  
  
“I’m sex on legs… And money, probably. Bye, Lizzie. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie smelled dinner as soon as she walked into the house. Having eaten very minimal for lunch the aroma was enough to make her stomach growl. Isaac was lounging on the sofa, channel surfing with the expression of someone whose brain was dissolving from boredom of the most extreme. “Dinner in ten,” he muttered without looking up.  
  
“Izzie is that you?” Olivia could be heard calling from the kitchen. “A call that you’re going to be late would be nice you know! We talked about this! Dinner in ten!”  
  
“What’d I tell you?” Isaac mumble again, this time stomach down, resembling a slug. And a lazy slug at that.  
  
“Sorry,” Lizzie apologized listlessly to her mom and turned to her brother. “What’s with you?”  
  
“I’m adapting to the environment. Boring town, boring neighbourhood, boring house.”  
  
“I could have told you that when we first moved in,” Lizzie giggled and headed upstairs.  
  
She avoided her bedroom and instead took cover in the bathroom. She doubted Frank was going to say anything, or even show up at all, but with the crazy day she was having, she didn’t want to risk it. So into the washroom she went. She had no purpose in there other than privacy, and it hit like a wave when she did. Sat on the floor and with her knees tucked up under her chin Lizzie let tears fall. Today was too much. Today she not only felt like she’d lost a friend, but she felt as if all hope was slipping away too. After all, Jesse was right; she was living in denial.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
It wasn’t until after dinner and when Lizzie was sat in bed doing homework that Frank made an appearance. Unlike the many times he’d materialized out of nowhere he made his entrance extremely human by making a small racket. Generally speaking, when Frank walked, you didn’t hear his footsteps, but when he wanted to be heard he made a damn good attempt. First Lizzie could hear him drop something on the floor of the attic and he stomped his feet against the steps of the latter coming down until her ears were met with a small creak of the closet door opening.  
  
“Hey,” Frank’s voice was soft.  
  
“Hey,” Lizzie greeted with a tiny, forced smile. “She scooted over on her bed to make room and Frank accepted the gesture willingly. Nothing was said for a couple minutes as Frank wordlessly began answering some of her math questions. It wasn’t exactly an uncomfortable silence, but it did weigh in heavily on Lizzie’s mind that he was just stalling in order to choose his words carefully.  
  
“You’re upset,” Frank muttered while answering a question that would normally take Lizzie twice as long figure out. He was ridiculously smart. If he hadn’t gotten trapped in the situation he had there was no telling all the things he could have accomplished in life.  
  
“I’m fine,” Lizzie responded simply.  
  
Frank gave a dry laugh, “When does fine ever actually mean fine? It’s Friday night and you’re doing homework.”  
  
“To be fair, so are you,” Lizzie pointed out smugly.  
  
Frank placed the notebook on the bed and propped himself up on his elbow facing Lizzie, “Only because the girl I want to play with can’t play until the homework is done, apparently.” He smiled faintly and tugged on Lizzie’s sleeve playfully. “Your dad phoned while you were out. At least your parents are capable of having a civil conversation when it comes to you and your brother’s well-being, you’re lucky. Sounds like you’re flying out the day after school lets out for the break on the 21st. “  
  
Lizzie’s hands flew up to her face, barricading it from Frank’s gaze. The day kept a steady pace in its downfall. Of course, this was partially Lizzie’s fault, because she should have notified Frank of this information days ago.  
  
“What’s the matter?” Frank coaxed, his cold hands wrapped around her wrists. “ It’s a good thing, you’ve been missing your dad haven’t you? Now you get to spend the holiday with him.”  
  
“I’m going to be away until school starts up again, basically,” Lizzie’s voice wavered.  
  
“…Yeah, and…?” Frank’s voice and expression conveyed confusion. “What’s the matter with you, Liz?”  
  
Lizzie should have felt comforted with Frank’s content over her absence, but instead she felt guilt and sadness. “I don’t want to leave you,” her voice was muffled through her hands.  
  
“Would you move your stupid hands?” Frank’s patience began to thin as he pulled at her wrists and held onto her hands tightly. “And make sense? You’re going away for a few days, you’re not moving out. I don’t understand why you’re so hysterical.”  
  
“Today just sucked, alright?” Lizzie snipped and pulled away. “I don’t want you to be alone for another anniversary, you jerk.”  
  
Frank was taken aback, and it showed in the expression on his face. “Oh. _That_ day.”  
  
“Yeah, _that_ day,” Lizzie confirmed blatantly. Crossing the room she shoved her notebooks into her backpack and returned to her bed where Frank still sat in the same position. “Are you just not going to talk now?” she frowned and swiped her pens and calculator onto the floor carelessly.  
  
Frank’s gaze flickered up from his stare at the mattress and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You’re sweet.”  
  
“Are you serious?” Lizzie threw her hands up in exasperation. “Sweet is what you get from that? You died on that day! I wanted to spend it with you! And sweet is all you think?!”  
  
“Yeah,” he giggled.  
  
“You’re laughing about it?!”  
  
“What do you want me to think?” he asked fondly. “It’s sweet that you’d think of spending that shitty day with me. But honestly – and I’ve told you this before – I tend to forget the date a lot. Years past without me knowing, never mind a day. You’re painting that horrific picture in your head again when in reality you don’t actually know. I wasn’t murdered and chopped up into little pieces, and I don’t spend every December 29th wallowing in the hallways. It’s just another day, Lizzie.”  
  
“But it’s not,” she argued sternly and opened her mouth to continue her argument when she was yanked down onto the bed.  
  
“I lost my virginity in July,” Frank quipped. “Celebrate that anniversary with me instead.”  
  
Lizzie held her breath, waiting for Frank’s next move. She expected a kiss, or maybe even something more after his sly line, but she should have known better. Frank backed away after a hug and moved off the bed.  
  
“Sorry, that was stupid. We can’t,” he stated softly. “It’s not fair to anyone.”  
  
Lizzie swallowed, but couldn’t find the right words to let Frank know that she agreed and disagreed as he retreated back to the attic.  
  
“I fucking hate Jesse,” Lizzie voiced angrily to herself and barely refrained from chucking her phone across the room. Instead she gripped the gadget in her hand so tightly her knuckles drained of colour.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................


	24. Chapter 24

**Musical inspiration for this chapter** :

  * _"I Wish it Was Christmas Today" - Julian Casablancas_
  * _"Best Mistake" - Jamison Parker_
  * _"Silver Bells" - The Yobs_
  * _"Oi! To the World" - The Vandals/No Doubt...I like and listened to both versions_
  * _"Me, Myself & I" - Jive Jones_
  * _"Hysteria" - Def Leppard (I like listening to this one when I'm walking home from work at night in the winter and houses have their Christmas lights on)._
  * _"Naught, Naught Christmas" - Danger Danger (This is very much a Jesse song)._



....................................................................................................................................................

 

“Stop,” Lizzie laughed and dodged the garland Isaac launched her way from his seat on the couch. The laziest tree decorator ever, he designated his job as ornament passer; unraveling all the sentimental trinkets collected throughout the years: taking extra care with the ‘baby’s 1st Christmas’ ones Olivia would surely kill him over if they broke.  
  
“We need more tinsel back here,” Olivia called from around the back of the tree that felt as if it took up half the living room. “Stat!” she added jokingly.  
  
“We’re all out,” Isaac mocked seriousness as he shuffled through the box frantically. “What now?!”  
  
“I think there’s another box of crap up in the attic,” Lizzie giggled, “I’ll be right back. Don’t you dare touch that sugar cookie, Ike! I slaved away frosting it the way I wanted it.”  
  
“Too bad I already licked it,” he teased.  
  
Lizzie flipped him off listlessly on her way to the stairs, ignoring the warning Olivia called after her about cooperating with her younger brother. Something about being a good role model; parents took everything so literally.  
  
Frank had been drifting in and out of the living room all afternoon to help in the little ways he could. Like holding the ornaments at the back of the tree while Lizzie hung one at a time – or sneaking one onto the tree when no one was paying attention. A cookie decorated as a ghost even sat on the festive plate, clashing beautifully with all the Santas, gingerbread men, and present ones. Olivia had been confused by the cookie because she’d seen neither her son or daughter decorate a cookie as a ghost.  
  
“You still aren’t done yet?” Frank raised his eyebrows in surprise when Lizzie entered her bedroom on a mission to locate more tinsel. “You guys are Christmas as fuck. It’s only been a week of Christmas tunes but I’m already sick of ‘em. Do you realize it’s non-stop? You don’t notice it, but I have super ghostly hearing. If you’re not blaring the shit in here, then your brother is blaring _The Chipmunks_ over his headphones or your mom is rocking out to _Bing Crosby_ in the kitchen.  
  
“At least what I listen to is more your taste. Punk and Christmas songs oddly complement each other.”  
  
Frank smiled. His mood had improved over the last couple weeks and things between Lizzie and him had resumed a pace they were both comfortable with for the moment. Back to their frequent cuddles, Lizzie had the chance to think and simply enjoy what she did have with Frank. And maybe they weren’t dating, but who knew what the future held.  
  
Lizzie climbed up to the attic, leaving Frank on her bed raiding the laptop again. She’d just located the correct box when her phone buzzed in her pocket and she fished it out knowing exactly who it would be. He’d been sending her texts the last couple days trying to get in touch with her, because Lizzie had been doing a fine job of avoiding him since that day.  
  
Jesse:  
 _Can we please talk?_  
  
It followed texts such as: “Lizzie?”, “You’re ignoring me.”, “I need to talk to you.”, and her particular favourite: “I’m sorry, I was a douchebag.”  
  
But like all the preceding messages Lizzie deleted it as if she’d never seen it appear on her phone in the first place. It was unfair, but only to one person in her mind: Frank. Unfair because he was missing out on actual contact from the world outside the house that consisted of more than just her voice and opinions. The internet was one thing, but it wasn’t the same as being physically present in the same room.  
  
“Did you find the box?” Olivia hollered up the stairs. “We still have the outside lights to put up!”  
  
Lizzie quickly grabbed the box she’d been thinking of and carefully climbed back down the attic steps, tossing the box halfway down to Frank so she wouldn’t slip and fall clumsily like she was so prone to.  
  
“What the hell is in this one, a corpse?” Frank dropped the box onto Lizzie’s bed. “I’m just going to say it, because I don’t think anyone has ever told your family this and you need to hear it. You’re all mental with this Christmas crap. Halloween is the best day of the year and you’re wasting it all on tinsel and reindeer asses.”  
  
“What?” Lizzie laughed loudly and dragged the box back off the bed to the floor. “Maybe you do need a bit of a break from all the Christmas spirit. Spend some time in your dark and dusty attic. Watch some slasher films. There’s always _Black Christmas_!”  
  
“Shit, I forgot about _Black Christmas_! We have to watch that tonight! The original one mind you, none of this remake crap in my attic. Hang up your tinsel and reindeer asses, then book it back up here to really get into the spirit with some good ol’ fashion murder.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie had invented a whole new system at school in order to avoid Jesse. Yes it was juvenile, but something about giving someone the silent treatment also felt really satisfying and allowed Lizzie to feel like she was in control.  
  
The system started with leaving the house later in the morning to arrive just before the bell, so she knew Jesse would already be in class. Lunch time was a bit trickier and Lizzie made it a point not to venture to her locker at all during the rush. Instead she kept her lunch in her backpack and scouted out a completely different area of the school to eat, which happened to be the very back of the library amongst all the forlorn reference books that only the most desperate students with an ‘A’ average sought out.  
  
After school was the most difficult because Jesse could be equally as stubborn when there was something he wanted or something bothering him. There were a couple days Lizzie had waited half an hour after the dismissal bell peeking out from the girls’ washroom to see if he’d given up his post at her locker.  
  
So it was routine as Lizzie shoved the washroom door open and tossed her backpack up onto the counter after checking for patches of water, because girls were slobs too.  
  
A half hour was a significant chunk of time to be wasted at school for no reason. It was a half hour she could have spent with Frank at home. She used the time to complete some homework and narrowed her eyes at any girls that came in making comments about her newly acquired habit.  
  
Zipping up her backpack Lizzie peeked out of the washroom and glanced both ways before deciding it was safe to leave. She made it all the way down the hall to her locker and started fiddling with the lock when she felt someone starting at her.  
  
“You’re really good at hide and seek,” Jesse’s voice was chipper as he came up the stairs.  
  
“I have to go,” Lizzie muttered quickly and exchanged a textbook before slamming her locker shut, “my mom’s waiting.”  
  
Jesse stepped into her path and held his hands up to pause her. “It won’t take long, I just want to give you something. The holiday break starts at the end of the week and I want to give you your Christmas present,” he explained while digging around in his bag. “It’s not much, but-“  
  
“Are you kidding me?” Lizzie blurted out bitterly. “You’ve got to be joking, right? A Christmas gift? Lay off, Jesse, that’s all I want for the holidays.”  
  
“I take it you’re not a very forgiving person,” Jesse gave a small laugh. “I’m running out of ways to apologize, so let’s call this a last attempt.” He held out an envelope. Nothing about it looked out of the ordinary, and it didn’t look to be packed with miniature treasures. “Oh, and this!” Jesse added with a smile as he pulled a candy cane out from his bag. “They go together well. You and the candy cane I mean. You’re both pretty sweet.”  
  
Lizzie stared at Jesse hard.  
  
“A Mikey line,” he explained with a shrug. “Just a joke.”  
  
“I don’t want it,” Lizzie forced the envelope and candy back into his hand. “Now lay off.”  
  
“Ok,” Jesse accepted reluctantly with his eyes cast down at the refused gift. “Guess I did fuck up, huh? Could you at least give this to Frank for me?” Putting the candy cane and envelope back into his bag he retrieved a gift-wrapped package instead and handed it over. It was obviously a book judging from the size and weight, but there was something else included as well, and Lizzie would bet money it was a CD.  
  
“Yeah, fine,” she agreed and put it into her bag.  
  
“Thanks. Are you sure?” he held up the envelope with the hint of a smirk. “I mean, there could be a million dollar check in here.”  
  
“You said it wasn’t much,” Lizzie pointed out with a frown. She was getting tired of Jesse attempting to lighten the mood and get on her good side.  
  
“I could be a secret billionaire. You know, one of those assholes with all the cash in the world who hog it all to themselves but still choose to live in rags because they don’t like the superficial lifestyle?”  
  
“I have to go,” Lizzie dismissed, her footsteps echoing in the empty hall. “Remember that was your last attempt.”  
  
Jesse didn’t respond.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The tree lights were already on when Lizzie approached her house. It was still light out, but even so, it gave the place a friendly, warm glow. The lights being on so early only meant one thing: Olivia was home early from work. She’d been taking off from work an hour early the last week in order to spend an ample amount of time with Isaac and Lizzie before they left for California. Lizzie worried how her mother would react to being without her kids for the holidays, but she knew Frank would give her a full report when she returned.  
  
“Christmas dish number four,” Olivia called from the kitchen. “We feast at six o’clock sharp! Christmas movie at eight!”  
  
Olivia was on a countdown of favourite Christmas side dishes, making one each evening for supper. Since they weren’t having a full Christmas meal together this dragged out the sentiment and was turning into a new favourite tradition for Isaac and Lizzie who would be foolish to complain about their favourite Christmas recipes.  
  
“So long as I get to pick the movie we watch tonight! We already watched Ike’s favourite twice!”  
  
“No we didn’t,” Isaac argued from the stairs he was descending, “live action and animated _Grinch_ are two very different things!”  
  
“Well _Christmas Vacation_ slays both.”  
  
“Stop fighting and do your homework,” Olivia called.  
  
“I’m already done mine,” Isaac grinned widely, just to rub it in and nudged Lizzie’s shoulder on his way to the living room.  
  
Lizzie scoffed and walked up the stairs sluggishly. Two textbooks and a binder filled with notes; her backpack might as well be filled with bricks. Last minute projects were a bitch.  
  
Frank was walking out of Isaac’s bedroom when Lizzie reached the top of the stairs. In his hand he held two DVDs. “What’re you doing?” Lizzie asked, though she knew exactly what her cheeky ghost friend was doing.  
  
“Raiding your brother’s movie collection. Nikki must be watching _The Walking Dead_ because Netflix ain’t working. “ Frank smiled over the mention of his sister. Being able to talk about Nikki in the present tense – as if he actually had an idea what she could be doing, was a comforting feeling; like he hadn’t lost everything. Nikki was still around. She was still living a life, and now Frank knew she might be watching a zombie television show.  
  
“Alright, but he’s going to notice they’re missing,” Lizzie warned. “He’s that annoying kid who notices if you move his game controller two inches to the left when he’s not looking.”  
  
“Oh yeah? And what’s he going to do? Call the _Ghostbusters_? He’ll just blame you.”  
  
“Thanks,” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “You better have grabbed some decent movies at least. He has some weird shit in his collection.”  
  
“And a wide collection of porn, surprisingly,” Frank stated casually as he moved into her bedroom. “It was hidden at the back of his closet. Amateur.”  
  
“Ew,” Lizzie voiced her disgust loudly. “Oh my God, I’m never going to be able to function in front of him again! Gross!”  
  
“Like you don’t have any of your kinky fantasies lying around on the floor,” Frank scoffed. “Sparkly vampires and Hugh Grant.”  
  
“Yeah, sure, Hugh Grant. Right on the money there, Frank,” Lizzie dismissed.  
  
“You don’t deny it,” he giggled and tossed the few DVDs he’d taken from Isaac’s collection onto her bed.  
  
“Oh no, I have no reason to,” Lizzie droned on sarcastically as she reached into her backpack blindly. Her heart sank when her hand brushed against the present she was supposed to hand off to Frank. She’d been cold toward Jesse, she knew it. He hadn’t had any malicious intents by offering her a Christmas gift. Truth was, even before their argument, Lizzie had no intentions or thoughts of getting Jesse a Christmas present, and now she felt like a despicable human being. Friends got each other gifts for the holidays. Close friends did at least, and Jesse was more than an acquaintance by now. Aside from Frank he was the closest friend she had. Yes there had been some awkward encounters, and yes they’d had a fight, but was it worth losing him as a friend?  
  
“What’s with you?” Frank pinched her arm gently. “Is there slime in your backpack? What’s that face you’re making?”  
  
“This is from Jesse,” Lizzie pulled the gift from her backpack to hand off to Frank.  
  
Lizzie expected Frank to be startled, but instead he was happily surprised and his face lit up with excitement to receive a Christmas gift after so many years of loneliness. “Look,” he pointed to the tag, leaving no room for personal space when he shoved the gift right under Lizzie’s nose. “To: Uncle Frankie. From: your nephew. I have a nephew.”  
  
Lizzie couldn’t help but smile gently, “That’s awesome, Frankie. I don’t know if he wants you to wait to open it on…” Her voice trailed off with the sound of paper being torn rapidly. Frank was like a little kid on…well…Christmas.  
  
“What’d he get me?” he muttered eagerly and let the wrapping fall to the floor in the same manner Jesse had when Nathan gave him the ‘get well’ present from friends at school. There was a pause and then a fond smile as Frank held up the book Lizzie had predicted it being when Jesse had first handed the gift over.  
  
“Have you read it?” Lizzie questioned.  
  
“Have a read _Catcher in the Rye_? Duh! Who didn’t read this in high school?”  
  
“Well I haven’t,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes.  
  
“Knock yourself out,” Frank pressed the book against her chest. “It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.”  
  
“Holy shit,” Frank’s voice squeaked over the second object in his hand. He held the CD case as if it were a fragile bird about to take flight and stared wide-eyed as if, just maybe, he were the one seeing a ghost for a change. “How the hell…? It’s a joke, right?”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re freaking out over,” Lizzie stated bluntly as she took a step closer. “Don’t even know what you’re looking at yet, genius. …Oh.”  
  
“Where’s your computer?” Frank spoke quietly, but with an urgency that had Lizzie scrambling around her room to pick up the connector, because her battery was on its last juice and this was not a moment for laptop failure.  
  
“Here, here, here,” she spoke quickly and carefully took the CD from her friend’s slightly shaky hands. “Where would he have found this? I’ll kill him if this is a joke.”  
  
Frank crawled on the bed next to her and anxiously waited for iTunes to open. His hands fiddled with case the disc came in, opening and closing the lid impatiently until finally the computer read the information on the CD.  
  
Without a word Lizzie clicked on the first song and the speakers filled with drunken cheering, whining guitars and nasally sounding lyrics. The sound quality wasn’t perfect in the slightest. It was an amateur recording from what was obviously a live concert and contained static that made parts sound fuzzy, but that didn’t defeat the fact that what they were listening to was Frank’s old band. Now the book made perfect sense as _Pencey Prep_ rocked Lizzie’s bedroom.  
  
Frank grinned ear to ear as he listened and then shook Lizzie’s shoulder excitedly. “This is my band! That’s me! When I was alive! This is crazy!”  
  
Lizzie felt like her face was going to break she was smiling so much. “You guys were good!”  
  
“Yeah we were! When was this show? Does it say?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie confirmed. “Jesse might know.”  
  
“Text him!”  
  
Lizzie’s smile faltered as she glanced over to her phone. “In a bit…”  
  
“Play the next one,” Frank bumped her out of the way to take over. “You’ll love this one, this is right up your vagina. Listen. Are you listening?”  
  
“I’m listening,” Lizzie laughed and scrolled through contacts on her list until she came to Jesse’s name. Lizzie had done a number of foolish things in her life, but snubbing Jesse off might have been the most foolish so far.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Frank listened to the recording of his band well past midnight on his MP3 next to Lizzie. At some point she’d fallen asleep against his shoulder and only awoke when her ear was nearly frostbitten and Frank was squirming away to head up to the attic without a word, though Lizzie could hear _Pencey Prep_ still blaring through the headphones. Jesse’s gift to Frank made her feel just a bit more content leaving him over the holiday break. He had something now that brought him a slew of great memories to tread through while she was away.  
  
At 1:14 Am Lizzie text Jesse an apology and asked to talk to him tomorrow. A minute later she received a response, much to her surprise, but it could be because he was working a late shift.  
  
 _Your wish is my command m’lady_.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“Lizzie, listen to this bridge,” Frank followed her around the room trying to place the headphones over her ears. Lizzie wasn’t making it an easy accomplishment as she turned this way and that, from picking up her hairbrush, to pulling a sweater on, to applying just a bit of mascara. “Would you quit moving!”  
  
“Frankie, I’ve heard that bridge, like, ten times,” Lizzie pointed out. “And it’s fantastic, but I have to get ready or I’m going to be late.”  
  
“It gets better and better the more you listen to it,” Frank declared and managed to get the headphones on her while she was finishing her makeup. She didn’t put up a fight, just shook her head gently and went back to applying mascara, though that was a bad idea. Flinching at the how loud the volume was as soon as Frank pressed play Lizzie smudged the mascara all over her eyelid and cursed loudly.  
  
“Frank!”  
  
“The louder you listen to it the better it sounds too,” he reasoned calmly, though was trying desperately, and failing, to hold back laughter. “If you smudge the other eye you might be able to start a trend, I don’t know. You kids are into some weird ass fashion these days.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t crack a smile and that’s when Frank knew to lay off. He backed up with a giggle and jumped up onto her bed. The ghost boy was in a hyper mood that morning and unwilling to stay in one spot too long. “What should I get my nephew for Christmas?” Frank pondered aloud. “I can’t top this.”  
  
“I’m sure anything you give him will be appreciated. I think he gets that you don’t have many options.”  
  
“What’d he get you?”  
  
Lizzie sighed heavily in frustration and began shoving everything she’d need for the day into her backpack. “I don’t know. Nothing. I have to go.” She exited the room abruptly, but when she got to the stairs Frank was already waiting at the bottom ready to pick up the conversation again. The sky was still dark and the tree lit up the room, courtesy of Olivia having turned it on before leaving.  
  
“He’ll get you something,” Frank stated though his mind was only half present in the conversation. The other half was focused on his MP3 again. He was turning into society’s expectations of a modern day teenaged brat; defined by their need to always be attached to their phones, iPods or laptops.  
  
“Turn the tree lights off,” Lizzie lectured and opened the door, letting frosty air enter the otherwise warm household. Isaac had already left ten minutes ago and if she didn’t leave right then she would for sure miss the first bell.  
  
“Light the tree on fire, gotcha,” Frank waved her off. “Go. Be educated. Thank Jesse for me!”  
  
“Tell Jesse you hate the gift, gotcha,” Lizzie winked, just for kicks as she shut the door and hurried down the stairs.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The school had minimum decorations for the holidays, and mainly consisted of snowflakes and snowmen, though the secretary did include garland and a miniature Christmas tree on her desk. Lizzie made it to her first class just in time and sat through three boring films before lunch. With only three days before the break teachers were just as tired of lectures as their students and opted to show films to fill the time, along with last minute extensions for late work to boost up some struggling marks.  
  
Lizzie wouldn’t have minded the film fest if the films chosen weren’t so boring. Since it was still school, every film shown had to have some vague relation to their studies and so Lizzie was forced to sit through some of the most boring historical pieces she’d ever witnessed. By the end of each class at least a quarter of the students had dozed off and had to be smacked back to reality, quite literally, by a friend.  
  
To pass the time Lizzie tried to guess what Jesse could possibly have got her for Christmas. An envelope didn’t give her many clues, because virtually anything could be in it. It could be a boring Christmas card or it could be a note indicating he was going to buy her a lifetime supply of Nutella. She was not looking forward to the conversation she would have to have with Jesse, because Lizzie was embarrassed to backtrack and say that she was curious over the gift he had in mind for her.  
  
Still, lunch time came and Lizzie waited on the ledge by her locker staring out the window. Unlike multiple times before, Jesse didn’t sneak up, nor make a scene with his greeting. He simply walked over and sat next to her. “Hey.” The corners of his mouth upturned into a small smile awaiting her response.  
  
“Hi,” she greeted quickly and sat up properly, putting her carrot sticks to the side. “Uh, Frank really, really loved the present. He’s been listening to it non-stop, for real. All night I’m pretty sure. His holiday is made.”  
  
“Good, I’m glad.”  
  
“How the hell did you find that?”  
  
“I’m a rotten son who’s been sneaking around in his mom’s closet hunting for information about her past,” Jesse explained. “I found a tape in a box at the back of her closet. Well a few tapes, actually. I think some of them are home videos, but we don’t have a VCR, so I can’t be sure. I have a friend who works in a music store and she can convert cassette tapes, so she did me a favour. That’s about it. It wasn’t difficult.”  
  
It sounded a great deal more simple than what Lizzie had been imagining in her mind and scuffed her shoe against the floor diffidently. “Well it was really sweet.”  
  
There was a pause in their conversation as they both watched students file down the stairs, and a number of them out of the building, probably with all intentions of skipping the afternoon film fest from hell.  
  
“You didn’t change your mind about your Christmas present did you?” Jesse asked with a knowing grin. “Because you seemed very confident about not wanting it yesterday.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes on Jesse but didn’t stoop to his level. Instead she averted her gaze out the window and folded her arms.  
  
Jesse gave a laugh and unzipped his backpack. “I thought you might have a change of heart. Or I hoped you would at least. Here.” He presented her with the envelope as he had yesterday, along with the candy cane. “Mint condition,” he snickered over the candy.  
  
“You spent way too much time with Mikey,” Lizzie said simply. “…Thanks…though.”  
  
“You don’t know what it is yet,” Jesse exclaimed last second with hand gestures to match his panicked tone. “I really am broke right now, so it’s nothing spectacular.  
  
“Well I didn’t expect anything at all, so this is already a pretty good Christmas gift,” Lizzie eased his mind and tore the envelope open. Inside was a Christmas card, but it was the note inside the card that Lizzie’s eyes quickly began deciphering.  
  
 _I was a total dick, I’m sorry. I said things I shouldn’t have said and I was really immature.  
  
I’d like to make it up to you, because to be honest, avoiding each other at school is becoming a drag. This sounds sleazy, and it’s not supposed to be. It’s because I don’t have money to buy you something for Christmas. I’m seriously awesome at making hot chocolate. Some people are talented snowboarders, some can sing opera, and some are rocket scientists. My talent is making hot chocolate and writing pathetic letters. I’ll make you the best hot chocolate you’ve ever tasted, Lizzie Silver.  
  
Come visit me after school on Thursday. 6:00 PM. You know the address, stalker.  
  
You favourite Tom Jones stripper,  
  
Jesse_  
  
Lizzie eyed the boy next to her who was trying his very best to look more engaged with his phone than a nervous wreck over her reaction. Already a blush was growing across his cheeks and he tapped his foot against the tiled floor impatiently.  
  
“This is really sweet, Jesse, but I don’t think I can,” Lizzie let him down quickly to get it over with.  
  
“Just as friends,” he further explained. “I’m really not trying to pull some sketch move on you. I just figured I was such a shitty friend I had to make it up to you. I really do make awesome hot chocolate. I’ve got a number of references to back me up.”  
  
“I know, I just don’t think it’s-“  
  
“Ok,” Jesse sighed heavily, evidently growing tired of _her_ unwillingness. “Fine,” he got up from his spot and picked up his backpack. “Give me credit for the thought though.”  
  
“You have full credit for the thought,” Lizzie smiled gently. “And thanks for the candy cane. It’s my first one of the season.”  
  
“Well Merry Christmas,” Jesse smiled and made to leave for lunch, but was paused in his tracks when Lizzie called his name again.  
  
“About those VHS tapes… We have a VCR. What if I give them a quick look over? Or maybe we can leave them with Frankie over the break? It’ll give him something to do if I can talk him into watching them. Maybe it’ll be good for him. And it’s not like it’s new information, it’d be footage of things he lived. Or are these your baby tapes?”  
  
“No, mine and Aaron’s are converted to DVDs. Mom likes to sit us down and watch them every couple years. She usually pulls that card when my brother and I have been particularly difficult. What a spiteful woman.”  
  
“So what do you think?”  
  
“I guess that would be alright, but I don’t think it’s a very good idea for me to haul them all to school. I wouldn’t want them to get lost or anything. Why don’t you come pick them up? Say…tomorrow…6:00 PM…my place?” A steady grin pulled at Jesse’s lips, leaving Lizzie with only one option.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
With all intentions of grabbing the VHS tapes and leaving, Lizzie crunched through the snow and admired the decorated houses along the way to Jesse’s. Some of the lights were already on, and it made winter feel just a bit more tolerable. Even the apartment building Jesse lived in looked decked out in holiday lights. It seemed all occupants came to a mutual agreement to decorate for the season and so each balcony was littered with sparkling lights to diminish the dark.  
  
It wasn’t particularly cold, but Lizzie still gave a shiver as she hurried through the front door and paused by the stairwell to pet Freddie, who was of course lingering about and meowing at any passing tenants coming or going.  
  
“Quick, quick,” Jesse greeted Lizzie at the door and yanked her into the apartment before hurriedly closing the door.  
  
Lizzie bumped into his chest and froze in horror for a second that maybe she’d just messed up his battery operated heart, but Jesse didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. Instead he slid the padlock closed and peered through the peephole. “Sometimes Mom gossips with the next door neighbour and she’d probably flip if she found out I’d let you over, no offence.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie’s spirits dropped. “I thought your mom and I were actually starting to get along now.”  
  
“Well I don’t think you scare the living shit out of her anymore, so that’s a milestone,” Jesse smiled and motioned for her to follow him into the living room. The scent of cigarettes was still a smack in the face to Lizzie, because growing up in a smoke free environment made her feel sheltered from the reality that many people did in fact smoke daily in their homes. As a result, Jesse always smelled of cigarettes even though he listed himself as a casual smoker who only took part at parties with his friends. His mom, on the other hand, was an avid smoker, and had been since she was a teenager.  
  
“My mom and Aaron had some last second Christmas shopping to do. They’ll be gone for hours, so we can virtually spend the whole evening watching a marathon of _‘Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens’_ .”  
  
“That sounds like the shittiest show in creation,” Lizzie deadpanned. “Where the hell did you even find such a shitty show? Is it porn? Because it sounds like really bad porn.”  
  
“You haven’t even seen it,” he argued instantly and Lizzie noticed how the coffee table was geared up for a night of binge watching television. Junk food and empty glasses with a couple litres of soda on the side. Jesse had been planning for her to come over and he probably wasn’t about to let her go.  
  
“I’d really rather just pick up what I came for and go,” Lizzie answered.  
  
Jesse scratched the back of his head and shuffled around on the spot awkwardly. Lizzie felt like she’d shattered all his dreams in the moment as he moved down the hall to what she assumed was probably his bedroom.  
  
He returned only seconds later with the tapes he’d promised and shoved a hand into his pocket. “Are you sure do don’t want to stick around for a bit? It’s pretty rare for me to have the place to myself, so it’s perfect timing for a marathon.”  
  
“So invite Nathan over?” Lizzie suggested.  
  
Jesse blushed and searched for the right words. “I could, but he’s already seen all the episodes. I’d rather watch with someone who hasn’t seen the show before, and you haven’t… And you’re here already, which is convenient.”  
  
Lizzie chewed on her bottom lip. A part of her felt nervous being alone with Jesse, but obviously he wasn’t about to try to kill her or take advantage of her. Jesse was not that kind of person, and she knew that. Plus, what was she going to do at home anyway? Yes, there was Frank, but Frank had been busy creating whatever his Christmas presents to her and Jesse were, and even the ghost had been reluctant to hang out with her yesterday.  
  
“Ok, fine,” she caved in and Jesse grinned ear to ear.  
  
“Great! The radiator keeps fucking up lately, so if you’re cold I have some blankets stacked up,” he motioned to the couch. “Uhm, yeah, ok, make yourself at home, I’ll be right back.”  
  
Lizzie watched the boy exit to his room again and sat down on the couch, scanning the walls and smiling over the baby pictures of Jesse and Aaron that sat on the shelf.  
  
“Alright,” Jesse made his presence known by flicking the lights off and submitting them to a moonlit room, aside from the little Christmas tree in the corner, dazzled up with white lights. He put the disc into the player before crashing on the couch next to her, a bit too close for her liking as she shifted over just a bit.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
Halfway through the first episode and Lizzie understood what Jesse meant by the radiator being messed up. She reached for a blanket and draped it over her legs, smiling faintly when the boy next to her stole some for himself without a word. He was too caught up in the show to even notice what was going on around him, let alone the blush that set into her cheeks when his arm brushed hers.  
  
And it only got worse when the television blared moans and groans of a couple having sex. Lizzie fidgeted uncomfortably and Jesse watched unfazed until he started speaking.  
  
“This show is half porn sometimes,” he stated and got up from the couch. “I’m going to make hot chocolate while they copulate. Did you want some?”  
  
“Some what, sorry?” Lizzie’s eyes grew wide over the boy in front of her. In the Christmas lights Jesse’s eyes seemed to reflect brighter than ever before. She seemed heightened to every move he made, including the licking of his lips and the way he slid his hands into his pockets.  
  
“Hot chocolate,” he repeated.  
  
“Oh, sure.”  
  
A small grin and he disappeared into the kitchen. Lizzie listened to him moving across the floor, and the sound of the kettle, mugs and cutlery being fiddled with. For some reason, her stomach did a flip, and warmth began to spread throughout her body. Something about Jesse making her hot chocolate felt very sweet, and kind of hot. Like they were a couple and this was their place.  
  
Lizzie shook her head quickly; appalled such thoughts had slipped into her mind.  
  
He returned nearly a full ten minutes later with two mugs in hand and set one down on the table in front of her. Lizzie watched him intently, unknowingly staring.  
  
“Are you ok?” Jesse asked as he plunked down on the couch next to her again.  
  
“Yeah, fine. Thanks for the hot chocolate.” The beverages were topped with whipped cream, chocolate drizzle and what appeared to be crushed up candy cane bits. They looked like something served at a fancy café and it thoroughly impressed Lizzie as she cupped the mug in her hands carefully.  
  
“I put some chocolate syrup in it too, I hope that’s ok with you. Mikey used to slip us extra chocolate syrup when I was a kid, I kind of just picked it up from him and have being doing so ever since.”  
  
“That’s cute.”  
  
Jesse smiled and nodded toward the television. “So they’re done fucking?”  
  
“Looks that way.”  
  
“What a shame. Wait until the aliens have their giant orgy party. Limbs will be flying everywhere.”  
  
Lizzie snorted laughter and took a sip of her beverage, loving the richness of the added syrup. It made it taste more unique than the bland hot chocolate she was used to drinking. “This is the stupidest show in history. It’s a hybrid of punk music, Sci-Fi, and porn.”  
  
“Beautiful isn’t it?”  
  
Lizzie sipped her hot chocolate and slouched down against the cushions. “This is not the box set Nathan got you from all of us after your surgery is it?”  
  
“I repeat: beautiful isn’t it?”  
  
“Oh my God.”  
  
“You have to watch the entire series to really appreciate the gem this show is.”  
  
“I’ll take your word, because so far it’s crap.”  
  
Jesse scoffed and tossed the blanket up over her head.  
  
“How is your heart anyway?” Lizzie giggled and pulled the blanket back down. It made a static mess of her hair but she wasn’t bothered and fixed the blanket back over her legs.  
  
“Pumping blood throughout my body, thanks for asking.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie lost track of time as they sat watching half hour episode after half hour episode of the strangest show in existence. “What is even the point of this show?” Lizzie all but shouted when one alien was blown to smithereens by a punk holding a laser gun and clad in astronaut gear.  
  
“The point is that it’s awesome,” Jesse reasoned as another alien began kissing a punk girl with a rainbow Mohawk and fishnet stockings. “  
  
“Who the hell is that guy?” Lizzie pointed to the screen with a frown. “He keeps showing up.”  
  
“That’s the good luck punk who sells cigarettes.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“When a round of fighting is up between the aliens and bad punks he shows up to sell cartons of cigarettes.”  
  
“What the fuck!”  
  
“We’re not even in the second season yet, you haven’t seen anything strange.”  
  
“Yeah well-“ Lizzie froze when she noticed the time on the DVD player. “Holy shit, is that the time?!”  
  
Jesse squinted his eyes to better read the bright glow of the digital numbers. “11:00. That sounds about right.”  
  
“Oh my God, my mom’s going to kill me! Did she call?” Lizzie checked her phone and was immediately met with ten text messages, both from her mom and brother, and three missed calls from home. “I have to call.”  
  
“For sure,” Jesse nodded quickly and reached over to turn the lights on. His gaze followed a frantic Lizzie as she paced around the room and gripped her hair. Being someone who often stayed out late at a friend’s house on a weeknight, it never really came to mind that Lizzie probably had a curfew to follow and now he felt guilty.  
  
After a long explanation, Lizzie seemed to be on good terms with her mother and ended the call before sitting back down on the couch. “My mom’s going to pick me up in just a bit, so I should probably wait downstairs.”  
  
“Was she mad?”  
  
“Only because she was worried something bad had happened. She chilled out a bit when I told her I was hanging out here. But for the record, your mom is home.”  
  
Jesse yawned and got up from the couch, offering his hand to Lizzie in order to pull her up as well. “I’ll walk you downstairs. Don’t forget the tapes.”  
  
Lizzie groaned and rubbed sleepily at her eyes. She hadn’t realize how comfortable she had been watching the ridiculous television show until it was interrupted by her panic. Now all she wanted was to drink another mug of hot chocolate and fall asleep under a pile of blankets alongside Jesse while watching punks and aliens either getting along, killing each other, or sharing the stage at a rock concert- depending on the episode and whether or not the good luck punk with the cigarettes was around.  
  
Jesse too stretched his arms above his head and waited for Lizzie to pull on her jacket and shoes. He didn’t bother closing the door and they took the stairs slowly.  
  
“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow,” Lizzie voiced her thoughts. “What usually happens on the last day of school before the winter break?”  
  
“Basically the same thing that’s been happening all week,” Jesse admitted. “Nothing too exciting. Last year those of us who actually did go to school on the last day gathered in the gym and they actually put a Christmas movie on. That was decent.”  
  
“Not many go to school on the last day?”  
  
“No. I won’t be there tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie’s heart sunk as they came to a stop at the front door of the building. “What’re you going to do instead?”  
  
“Probably sleep in and do nothing all day,” Jesse laughed. “That’s living the life.”  
  
“So I guess this is the last time I’ll see you until the new year,” Lizzie blushed.  
  
“Are you going somewhere?”  
  
“Yeah, California to visit my dad until school starts back up.”  
  
“Aw, really?” Jesse didn’t try to hide his disappointment. “I was hoping you, me and Frank could hang out over the break.”  
  
Lizzie nodded and came up with an idea on the spot. “I guess if nothing happens on the last day of school there’s really no point in going. I can probably get away with skipping tomorrow. My mom leaves early anyway, and Ike always leaves before I do. I’ll just…not go. And then you can come over? You, Frank and I can hang out the whole day!”  
  
“Lizzie Silver, I like the way you think,” Jesse enthused. “I’m in.”  
  
“Yeah! Just show up whenever tomorrow then!”  
  
The honk of a car outside grabbed both teenagers’ attention and before Lizzie could even process saying goodbye, Jesse had her wrapped up in a tight hug, which reminded her all over how fun the evening had been, and how she’d almost stupidly missed out on it.  
  
“Night,” Jesse spoke softly.  
  
“Thanks for the hot chocolate. You were right. You make the best hot chocolate ever.”  
  
“I don’t lie. See you in just a few hours.”  
  
Lizzie let go and took a step back. “Don’t fucking bring that show with you tomorrow, we’re not watching it.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....


	25. Chapter 25

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"That's What I Like" - Flo Rida ft. Fitz_
  * _"Jingle All the Way" theme music_
  * _"Rock! Rock! (Till You Drop) - Def Leppard_
  * _"Morning Glory" - Oasis_
  * _"I Will Be There" - Glass Tiger_
  * _"I Wanna Get Better" - Bleachers_



.............................................................................................................................

 

Olivia had stopped making it a point to drag Lizzie out of bed in the mornings anymore. “You’re seventeen years old, it’s about time you started acting like it and get your own butt out of bed” she often liked to say when Lizzie was particularly whiny and reluctant to listen.  
  
Which was exactly why Lizzie was still asleep at a quarter after nine. She could have slept until noon if it wasn’t for the ringing doorbell. With the sound of the bell came a horrified startle as Lizzie bolted upright in her bed and stared at the digital clock for all of a second before scrambling out of her tangled sheets. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. He seriously?! Really?!”  
  
Laughter bounced off the walls and Frank appeared in the doorway of her bedroom.  
  
“Shut up, Frank,” Lizzie shouted and ran out of her room to the bathroom.  
  
“I said nothing,” Frank spoke calmly and trailed behind. “Your hair’s in knots.”  
  
“Don’t you think I know that?” she glared at him and rubbed furiously at her face unsure of exactly what she was trying to accomplish by doing so. Scrub her own face off? At least it wasn’t smeared with makeup, though she did have the imprint of wrinkled sheets pressed into her cheek as she met her reflection in the mirror. “Go get the door,” she ordered Frank.  
  
“I tried,” he explained nonchalantly, examining the tattoos on his wrist as if he’d never seen them before. “No can do today. And I’d hurry it up, that boy is starting to look like a popsicle waiting for you to answer.”  
  
“Why is he here so early?” she ranted and rushed down the stairs, leaving the bathroom light on.  
  
“Well did you specify a time?” Frank lectured. “It’s your own fault.”  
  
“You’re not helping,” Lizzie paused and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Get out of my face.”  
  
“Grouchy,” Frank grinned. “Careful or you’ll wind up on Santa’s naughty list.”  
  
Lizzie took a power stance as if ready to lunge. Her hand gripped the handle of the front door and turned slowly, as if waiting for the perfect moment, and then, faster than Frank could even process she was running back toward the stairs before the door had fully opened.  
  
A very chipper, albeit, very cold looking Jesse stood in the doorway looking confused over the blur that was Lizzie racing back up the stairs. “…Alright… I think that’s the fastest impression I’ve ever had on a person.”  
  
Frank reached forward to grab Jesse by the arm, but couldn’t manage it and backed up. “Get inside,” he demanded instead and swung the door shut with a careless bang. “You interrupted the princess’ slumber and she’s secretly a bitchy witch when she’s forced to wake up.”  
  
Jesse gave a laugh and began making himself at home by shedding his jacket and shoes. “Is there somewhere in particular I should put my jacket?” he nodded to his teenaged ghost uncle.  
  
Frank swiped the jacket out of Jesse’s grip only to fling it onto the couch with a satisfied smirk. “Done. Now. On to more important things. That Christmas gift you gave me was the best thing ever, man. Brought back a lot of great memories.”  
  
“It’s no problem,” Jesse examined the pictures on the walls of the room before settling on the Christmas tree in the corner. “They really get into the whole Christmas decor here.”  
  
“They are the epitome of Christmas crazy,” Frank confirmed as he fell back onto the couch in mock exhaustion. “I helped!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie was a bit more settled now that Jesse was immersed in conversation with Frank. It bought her a bit of time to get ready, but she still hurried through her morning routine, ultimately getting soap in her eyes and toothpaste on the edge of the sink. She contemplated a shower, because she could use one, but no, that was probably rude. Jesse coming over had been her idea in the first place.  
  
A quick change of clothes, a messy ponytail and a terrible eyeliner job and Lizzie was cautiously making her way back downstairs. The boys were on the couch with a corny Lifetime Christmas movie playing. As if he could hear her immediate thoughts Frank spoke: “This is crap. People enjoy these movies?”  
  
“Very hormonal mothers is my guess,” Jesse quipped and turned his head to see Lizzie. “You’re like the Flash! I don’t think I’ve seen anyone move as fast as that before in real life. Just pew-pew! Whoa!”  
  
“Why are you here so early?” Lizzie complained.  
  
“You said whenever,” Jesse reasoned. “Besides, school would have started by now, it’s not that early. I could have scaled up the side of your house and been here at four in the morning but I couldn’t find my super spy gear.”  
  
“Good thing too because I would have slammed the window shut on your fingers.”  
  
“Such hostility this morning,” Frank tutted and moved toward the kitchen. “And here I thought you _did_ get enough sleep when I heard you snoring.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes in a glare but Frank quickly continued speaking so she wouldn’t have time to retaliate. “Jesse, did you eat breakfast?”  
  
“No,” Jesse gave a small laugh over the exchange between his teenaged uncle and Lizzie.  
  
“Excellent, I get to cook! Where’s my goddamn apron at?” He moved swiftly into the kitchen and was already tying the apron decorated with the tackiest pattern of flowers and birds around his waist. “What did you all want to eat? If it requires a frying pan I promise it will be burned to charcoal, so choose wisely.”  
  
“Do you have cereal?” Jesse asked and began pulling cupboards open as if he owned the place. “Bonus points for _Cocoa Puffs_.”  
  
“Dude, at least challenge me to making toast or something,” Frank rolled his eyes. “Elizabeth, what do you want for breakfast, girl?”  
  
“Found it,” Jesse cheered as he pulled open the correct cupboard, unveiling not one, but three kinds of cereal, none of which were _Cocoa_ Puffs but he seemed just as pleased with _Frosted Flakes_. “Are you folks the conventional kind that keep their milk in the fridge?”  
  
Lizzie stood in the doorway looking back and forth at the two boys before caving in. “I want a bagel,” she mumbled and peered into the fridge alongside Jesse to scope out the cream cheese. Just a couple inches away and her arm was being pulled back by Frank who shook his head disapprovingly at both culprits.  
  
“What don’t you understand about me making breakfast? Unhand the goods, let’s go. Sit your asses down in those chairs.”  
  
There was no putting up any arguments with Frank when he set his mind to something. Lizzie had learned that the hard way, and so followed Jesse to the table as the ghost drifted back from the fridge to the counter. Lizzie had this image in her head of Frank whipping up breakfast effortlessly; a bit of unexplainable magic, but, no.  
  
“Your toaster is busted,” Frank ranted and smacked his hand against the gadget. Three shakes later and Lizzie was hurrying over to explain that he hadn’t even plugged it in.  
  
A knocked over box of _Frosted Flakes_ , a whole charade of pretending to have cut his finger open, the slight scent of burnt bagel and it looked as if Frank had almost completed breakfast.  
  
“I don’t know if I trust you to finish this,” Lizzie attempted to grab the freshly popped bagel from the toaster, but burned her fingers and hissed. “Ow! That’s hot!”  
  
“Oh man, how convenient would it be if you had, say, a dead friend who had ice cold hands that didn’t react to burns?” Frank smirked and hip bumped Lizzie out of the way. “Get lost and let a professional handle this.”  
  
“I want blueberry cream cheese,” Lizzie reminded with a cringe as Frank flipped a butter knife in the air and went back to work.  
  
Frank lifted up the container to see what he’d grabbed and frowned. “Yeah, alright, but it’s pink.”  
  
“That’s strawberry, Frank.”  
  
“And you’ll enjoy it just the same. Strawberry, blueberry, it’s all just fruit in the end.”  
  
“You might actually be _the_ worst chef,” Lizzie rolled her eyes as Jesse snorted laughter and grabbed a banana from the bowl sat in the middle of the table.  
  
“Is my cereal almost ready?”  
  
“Almost,” Frank chirped, “I just have to add the finishing touch. And by finishing touch I mean spit.”  
  
“Cereal ala Frank, alright! Can you spit?”  
  
“Yes,” Lizzie answered a bit too quickly and blushed. “Uh, I think, yeah, I mean.”  
  
“Smooth move,” Frank grinned as he came over. Very delicately he placed the bowl of cereal and bagel down in front of his critics. “Enjoy your five star breakfast, kids. Note I’m sure as hell not cleaning up.”  
  
“I’ll clean,” Jesse volunteered.  
  
Frank gave a lazy thumbs up and sat down at the table next to Lizzie who had just taken a huge bite out of her bagel. Despite still holding the vague burnt taste Frank had scraped off with a knife into the sink the bagel tasted pretty good and was on all accounts edible.  
  
“So what are the big plans of the day, host?” Frank nudged Lizzie’s arm and watched a bit too closely how she chewed her food. Frank couldn’t even remember what it was like to eat anything, nor the satisfaction of chugging back a bottle of Coke on a hot day. So he watched mournfully for his taste buds and only let his gaze flicker back up to Lizzie’s eyes when she swallowed and began speaking.  
  
“I dunno. Jesse and I just decided to skip classes today. That’s as far as I got in plans.”  
  
“Why does there have to be a list of plans?” Jesse joined in and eased her mind. “We’re just spending the day altogether to celebrate the holidays. Doesn’t really matter if we’re doing anything or not. For all I care this could be it. Conversation is highly underrated.”  
  
“Have I mentioned how awesome my nephew is?” Frank declared. “Because he’s awesome. And I have the perfect way to kickstart this conversation. I’ll be right back, don’t disappear – Oh, wait, never mind, that’s me isn’t it?”  
  
Lizzie was used to Frank’s vanishing act, but it was still relatively new to Jesse who applauded Frank’s little parlour trick and commented to Lizzie how cool it was and how he’d totally sneak into gigs if he could disappear. Which it turns out he did anyway. Sneak into gigs, not disappear.  
  
“And you’ve never been caught?” Lizzie raised her eyebrow in suspicion.  
  
“I’ve been caught more than I like to admit,” Jesse laughed and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, it’s still fun. All they do is point you to the door anyway. It’s not like they’re going to call the cops for some snotty punks trying to catch a favourite band free. I’ve even been to gigs where the band has snuck us in.”  
  
“Why not just pay to see your favourite bands?” Lizzie regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth, because of course she knew why.  
  
“If I’ve got the cash I do, but I usually don’t have the cash,” Jesse explained anyway, unfazed by the question and just as patient to answer.  
  
Jesse was no stranger to spending late nights with friends, starting at an underground gig and ending at the park way past hours with a six pack and ridiculous stories to share, retell, or invent on the spot to make things interesting.  
  
“Did I hear something about sneaking into shows?” Frank sauntered back into the kitchen with two terribly wrapped gifts. Bad gift wrapping techniques had to be genetic if Jesse and Frank’s wrapping abilities had anything to say about it.  
  
“You might have,” Jesse straightened up in his seat and took a heaping spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “Sometimes movies too – depends if my friend there is working or not.”  
  
“Who works there?” Lizzie asked curiously. She didn’t know everyone at school but she was making an effort to keep track of names and faces Jesse pointed out to her.  
  
“No one from our school,” he explained through a mouthful of the ‘ _G-r-r-reat_ ’ breakfast. “Just a girl I struck up a conversation with once.”  
  
Lizzie wasn’t aware she was rolling her eyes, but Frank picked up on it and decided to change the subject. “My band used to let scrubs like you in for free too,” he slapped Jesse on the shoulder good naturedly. “Then again, I was a scrub.”  
  
“From one scrub to another, thanks,” Jesse saluted with his spoon. “It’s appreciated.”  
  
While the boys conversed Lizzie tried to think of the crazier things she’d ever done with her friends, but nothing could match the adventures Frank and Jesse had landed themselves in. Still, she wasn’t a saint either and had driven her parents mad a few times by staying out much later than her curfew. Isaac tended to stick to the rules more strictly than Lizzie, but even _Isaac_ liked to bend the rules just a smidge now and again, as even the squeakiest clean teenagers do. Lizzie wanted to shock the guys and that’s when it came to mind.  
  
“I went streaking last summer at the lake.”  
  
“No you didn’t,” Frank waved her off instantly and unbelieving. “You’re not serious.”  
  
“Streaking like no top _or_ bottoms?” Jesse now pointed his spoon toward Lizzie. “Lizzie Silver, you wild child! What prompted such a risk?”  
  
“…It was hot out,” Lizzie shrugged nonchalantly, but blushed over the attention being focused on her alone. “Yeah, well alright, you can both quit staring anytime now…pervs. Not like I was parading around in broad daylight. And it was just with a bunch of girlfriends anyway. Change the subject. Are those our presents? Are we exchanging gifts? What’s going on?”  
  
“I think you just gave me mine with that story,” Frank teased and pushed her plate out of the way to put a gift down in front of her. “Jess here’s yours. Don’t bend them or I’ll murder you both in the basement, with an axe. Stick you under the floorboards. Lizzie knows all about that.”  
  
Lizzie refused to answer with words, but raised her middle finger lazily to the throwback comment of thinking Frank had been murdered in the basement of the house. She picked at the edge of the wrapping paper and watched in amusement as Jesse shook his gift violently.  
  
There was no noise to award him and so he held it to his ear and listened carefully, as if trying to pinpoint whether or not a ticking bomb was inside. “You both have a very odd relationship,” he spoke casually and frowned. “I have no idea what this is.”  
  
“Do you even understand gift giving?” Frank scoffed. “Open the fucking thing and find out what it is, Einstein.”  
  
Jesse had since learned never to take anything Frank said too seriously, because under all the swearing and snide comments was affection. An odd kind of affection, but if Frank was making fun of you, it probably meant he liked or approved of you.  
  
Lizzie and Jesse opened their gifts together and Frank watched happily for their reactions. He was not disappointed as both younger teens burst into fits of laughter. Frank wasn’t very good with paints or pastels, but he could work a Sharpie like no one’s business and had created uncanny cartoon portraits of Lizzie and Jesse. They matched with their reflective stereotypical ghost portraits paper clipped behind each cartoon picture, similar to the one he’d created of himself on their disastrous art day.  
  
“This is fantastic!” Jesse continued to laugh. “This is getting framed for sure.”  
  
Frank smiled widely over their approval and then dramatically swiped all the cutlery left on the countertop into the sink. “Great. Now clean all this shit up!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie gazed at Frank from her spot on the couch. Kicked back in the armchair and lazily staring at the television, he still looked as happy and content as a ghost could look. Jesse lay sprawled out on the couch at her side with one leg hooked over the arm of the couch and his head dangerously close to being in her lap. The living room held the scent of gingerbread, courtesy of the Christmas candle sat on the coffee table amongst the soda and cookies both Lizzie and Jesse had been devouring steadily.  
  
They’d since given up on the made for TV movie and had progressed to a viewing of _Jingle All the Way_ with the added bonus of Jesse’s perfectly timed cues of iconic lines.  
  
“You can’t really blame the guy,” Lizzie made her opinions known when Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character shouted his annoyance of another man eating his cookies. “If someone was stealing my cookies I’d freak out too.”  
  
“Ruin Christmas or save the cookies, the struggle is real,” Jesse agreed and extended his arm out to swipe another cookie off the plate. “These are delicious, by the way, did you make them?”  
  
“My mom did.”  
  
“Your mom is a wonderful woman.”  
  
“She’s single,” Frank teased. “She’s really into gardening and channeling Martha Stewart, so if you buy her some marigolds or something you’ll probably own her heart.”  
  
“That’s gross,” Lizzie moaned.  
  
“My mom’s into, like, cigarettes and ‘R’ rated films,” Jesse craned his neck back to look up at Lizzie. “Imagine the conversations your mom and my mom would have if they were locked in a room together.”  
  
“Pussy eating plants that hail Martha and withhold oxygen in attempt to exterminate the human race,” Frank unleashed his disturbing imagination as if it were something he’d been waiting to throw on someone for years.  
  
“You should really consider a career in script writing for _Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens_.”  
  
“Didn’t they cancel that shitty show?” Lizzie droned over the disaster that was Jesse’s favourite program.  
  
“They’re going to make a reboot,” he shot up in his seat enthusiastically and climbed to his knees. “I’m thinking about auditioning.”  
  
“It’s basically porn, Jess.”  
  
There was a pause as Jesse let Lizzie uttering his nickname sink in. It brought a small smile to his face and he continued his confession of undying love for the grotesque show, complete with exuberant hand gestures. “I’m completely willing to let literal alien hands roam this body for a chance at high-fiving the good luck punk.”  
  
“What the fuck is this brilliant masterpiece show?” Frank leaned forward in a scowl. “What is it with you two idiots and not letting me in on the good stuff? This sounds like my best wet dreams.”  
  
“I’ll loan you the series, but if you get any ghost goo on my boxset I’m disowning you as my uncle.”  
  
“I’m out,” Lizzie raised her hands in defeat and retreated to the kitchen. She wasn’t actually appalled by the conversation, but had noted the time flying by and decided it was time to wash the dishes that Jesse appeared to have forgotten about.  
  
She’d only finished filling the sink with water and citrus dish detergent when the animated conversation filtering in from the living room ceased and Jesse appeared in the doorway. Frank called out that he wasn’t pausing the movie but it didn’t faze Jesse who rolled the sleeves of his plaid shirt up, revealing the tattoo on his forearm.  
  
It made Lizzie mildly jealous how easily Jesse could pull an outfit off. Most people couldn’t pull off the ripped jeans, plaid shirt and bright green t-shirt look, but Jesse could. It seemed his complexion welcomed any and all clashy colours and patterns.  
  
“I’m a man of my word,” Jesse lectured. “I said I’d do the dishes and I will.”  
  
“Be my guest then,” Lizzie stepped away and pulled herself up onto the counter to watch.  
  
“I _am_ your guest,” he chirped and dipped his hands into the dishwater.  
  
Lizzie reached out to take the first clean dish from her friend to dry with a dishtowel. “You didn’t get dropped off here today?”  
  
“No, mom thinks I’m at school right now. She probably wouldn’t care much if I was skipping today, but I just didn’t bother to tell her I was.”  
  
“She dropped you off last time though. What’d she think? She used to live here.”  
  
“Oh, right,” Jesse recollected and held an empty glass out. “She- Can’t Frank hear us?”  
  
“He’s not paying attention.”  
  
“She kept together more than I thought she would, but I think it hit pretty hard. People always say that after time things are supposed to get better, but I don’t think they ever will for my mom. She didn’t say much, but the look on her face said it all.”  
  
“Maybe it’s guilt,” Lizzie suggested gently. “Has she ever seen a therapist?”  
  
“Not that I know of. I hear talking helps, not that she does. Mikey even brought up some stuff from the past, but she refused to continue the conversation.”  
  
“Frank does that a lot. I guess he and Nikki really did have a fight before he died. That’s what the article said, and it would make a lot of sense.”  
  
Jesse gave a small noise of agreeance and paused washing dishes to lean back against the counter. He wiped his hands on a dishtowel and stared at Lizzie briefly as she put the glass into the cupboard. “Did you get your schedule for next term?”  
  
“Unfortunately,” Lizzie voiced her displeasure and pointed toward the table. “It’s over there. I almost set it aflame, but my brother’s a loser and saved it before I could.”  
  
“Was _Turbo-Man_ ever actually a thing?” Frank called loudly from the living room.  
  
“You’re a _thing_ ,” Lizzie retorted pathetically just to get him off their backs for another minute as Jesse studied her schedule.  
  
“Hey,” he smiled widely, “we have literature together!”  
  
“Nerds,” Frank hollered into their conversation.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
When the alarm started buzzing at 5:00 in the morning Lizzie whimpered and attempted to roll over to continue her slumber as usual. She’d stayed up far too late to be waking up at 5:00 AM now. First it was last minute holiday celebrations with her mom and Isaac so that they could exchange gifts and then she’d stayed up until 2:00 AM with Frank watching a _Misfits_ live DVD she’d bought him for Christmas. She couldn’t recall getting under the covers to sleep, so Frank must have played a role in making sure she woke up warm.  
  
“Don’t you dare,” Olivia knocked on her daughter’s door.  
  
“What?” Lizzie dragged out in a whine. “Leave me alone.”  
  
“You know what. Get your butt out of bed, we need to leave for the airport in just under an hour. Your brother’s already had his shower.”  
  
“Fine,” Lizzie grumbled and face-planted into her pillow.  
  
The sound of her dresser drawer opening and shutting with a click was just enough to prompt Lizzie to roll her head to side and peel an eye open. Frank stood at her bedside with his usual mischievous grin. His hands were hidden behind his back and he leaned down so his nose was an inch away from hers. “Wake up,” he whispered.  
  
“Or what?” she challenged.  
  
Frank backed up and revealed a pair of scissors in one hand. In his other hand was one of Lizzie’s magazines featuring the conclusion of the _Twilight_ film series. “Or Sparkles gets it!”  
  
“Juvenile.”  
  
“So you wouldn’t mind,” Frank snipped into the edge of the glossy paper. He enjoyed playing on Lizzie’s nerves. Not to the point where she was furious, but to the point where she’d playfully tackle him or blurt out immature comebacks that had no impact.  
  
“Stop it,” Lizzie sat up and swiped the magazine away to swat him with. “It’s a collector’s item. It could be worth thousands one day.”  
  
“Maybe eons from now on an undiscovered planet,” Frank giggled and grabbed around her waist. Falling back onto the bed he pulled her into his lap and squeezed tightly, making Lizzie’s heart flutter.  
  
“What’re you doing?” she smiled and turned her head to look at him.  
  
“Waking you up with freezing hugs,” he mumbled against her shoulder.  
  
“I thought you weren’t going to miss me?” she turned into him for a proper hug and accepted the cold contact. Hugging Frank was like diving into a pool of water on a warm day. It was a shock at first, but after treading water for a few seconds you were happy you dove.  
  
“I never said that,” he explained. “Don’t make fun of me.” He laughed, but it was small and hinted embarrassment. “I know you’re not going away for long, but leaving is leaving, you know? It’s the leaving that hurts most. The rest is waiting and if you’re me you’re waiting forever.”  
  
Lizzie furrowed her eyebrows in concern over his shoulder and opened her mouth to say something reassuring, but was interrupted by the rapping at the door and jumped up.  
  
“Right now,” Olivia sounded angry. “Do you know how much flights cost, Elizabeth? You’re not missing this one!”  
  
Olivia hadn’t been in a very good mood yesterday, and clearly wasn’t in a good mood today either. Lizzie wanted to be mad at her, but she knew she only acted so snippy because she was upset over her children being away during her favourite holiday. In many respects Olivia and Frank were both dealing with loss in very different ways.  
  
Olivia didn’t set foot into Lizzie’s bedroom, and as her footsteps were heard padding away and down the stairs Lizzie turned back to Frank. “I have to get ready.”  
  
“Get ready,” he weakly smiled. “I’ll chill out here with Sparkles,” he picked up the abandoned magazine and winked. “No pun intended.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“Don’t forget the tapes, Frankie,” Lizzie reminded from her dresser where she was swiping the last of her makeup into her bag. “If you want to watch them. You don’t have to, but they’re there.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved her off. “Thanks for leaving your laptop.”  
  
“I’ll just use my dad’s computer while I’m there, it’s fine. Just don’t sneak onto my Facebook account.”  
  
“Oops,” Frank smirked. “Too late. Why aren’t you friends with Jesse on here yet? Is he on here? I’ll add him for you.”  
  
“Frank!”  
  
“Maybe Boobalicious has an account too?”  
  
“Don’t add any cougars. And don’t look up porn. And just don’t.”  
  
“You know why ghosts moan don’t you?”  
  
“Frank!”  
  
“Fine! Jesse sent me a file with every episode of _Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens_ anyway. And when I say me I mean you because technically it’s your email account. Oh and Randy from North Dakota says hi. Is this chat? Randy and I are going to chat now, go away.”  
  
“Get off my Facebook!”  
  
“Randy wants nudes, give me your camera, I’ve got this! We’ll find out if ghosts can be photographed once and for all. I’m willing to try for Randy.”  
  
Lizzie hurried over to her laptop despite her mother shouting up the stairs. There were a few select words in her sentences that included words Olivia rarely said, so Lizzie knew she meant business. “Randy would never ask for nudes!”  
  
“Gotcha!” Frank smirked and jumped up. “Hug me tight and then get lost.”  
  
Lizzie didn’t have time to argue and so complied instantly. “You’re an asshole. Take care of my mom while I’m gone. I don’t know how you can, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”  
  
“Take care as in kill her or sleep with her?”  
  
“Frank,” Lizzie smacked at his arm. “Stop it! You’re disgusting!”  
  
“And you’re late,” he shoved her away lightly. “Seriously, go. I’ll see you soon.”  
  
Lizzie hurried out the door with her suitcase and a minute later the front door shut with a loud bang, leaving the house in an eerie silence Frank could never completely adjust to. He climbed up the stairs into the attic and looked out the window, smiling when Lizzie looked back over her shoulder to give a subtle wave.  
  
“Get in the car, Elizabeth,” Olivia gave an exasperated sigh.  
  
“I am,” Lizzie rolled her eyes and handed her suitcase to Isaac who lifted it into the trunk for her.  
  
Lizzie crawled into the backseat of the car and looked up at the attic. Smiling to herself she pretended to catch the kiss the dorky ghost in the attic blew to her and waved once more before they pulled away from the curb.  
................................................................................................................................................................


	26. Chapter 26

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Don't Let Go" - Lea Michele_
  * _"Popular Song" - Mika ft. Ariana Grande_
  * _"Christmas Day in the Sun" - Hot Hot Heat_
  * _"Walking on Broken Glass" - Annie Lennox_
  * _"The Flight Tonight" - Nazareth_



............................................................................................................................................

 

The flight attendants weren’t yet making their rounds, so Lizzie used the time to check her phone again and found a new text from Jesse. All it said was: _‘Have fun in California, catch ya in the new year!’_ but it still made Lizzie smile.  
  
 _‘If your stupid porn show malfunctions my laptop I’m going to snap your skateboard in half. Happy holidays!’_ Lizzie quickly responded before shutting her phone off and pocketing it.  
  
“Was that Jesse?” Isaac questioned at her side. A few comic books were sat on his lap and he’d been sifting through them trying to decide which to read first.  
  
“Why would you assume that?” Lizzie yawned and tilted her head back against the seat. It was a smaller plane and Lizzie was thankful she was stuck sitting next to her brother and not the man behind them, who when walking by seemed to dispense serious B.O.  
  
“Isn’t it always Jesse?” He narrowed his eyes at her as if she’d just offended him. “I thought you both liked each other.”  
  
“As friends, Ike, oh my God!” Lizzie freaked out.  
  
“Alright, so then where were you yesterday, because you weren’t at school and I didn’t see Jesse around either.”  
  
“Whatever, it’s none of your business anyway. Read your precious comics. The plane could crash and you’ll never know what happens to all your spandex loving heroes.”  
  
“Fine, don’t tell me,” Isaac didn’t argue and Lizzie took to staring out the window at the ground below. Their flight was a bit delayed because ice had to be scraped off the wings of the plane and workers were rushing around below to accomplish the task. In the distance she could make out luggage being relayed to giant plastic bins that would be transported into the airport.  
  
Olivia had patronized them with repeated instructions as if they were five year olds. Her instructions ranged from “Make sure you buckle yourselves in tight” to “Don’t make eye contact with strangers”. To which Lizzie took the opportune moment to say “Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet”, and had Olivia giving her the fierce mother glare in turn.  
  
“Why aren’t we going yet?” Lizzie huffed and fiddled with the buttons on the miniature TV built into the back of the seat in front of her. The screen didn’t light up, and wouldn’t until they were safely up in the air. “Why’d we get on the plane so early anyway?”  
  
“We were on time,” Isaac pointed out. “Not early, not late. On time. Now shut up, I’m trying to read.”  
  
“Give me one of those,” Lizzie grabbed for the remaining comics on his lap.  
  
“Jesus,” he startled and quickly slapped her hand away. “I don’t want your cootie hands all over them.”  
  
“As opposed to your pristine touch? You were literally just licking syrup off your fingers half an hour ago.”  
  
“It’s not my fault syrup packs are so difficult to open.”  
  
“Seriously, Ike, give me a comic! I’m bored as fuck!”  
  
“Fine,” he carefully handed the small stack to her. “But if you so much as look at one oddly I’m telling mom.”  
  
“Ooooh, letting the hammer fall,” Lizzie rolled her eyes and leafed through the colourful books. She’d never much been into comics and always thought of them as childish; like books for the kids who couldn’t hack novels without pictures. Even now she wanted to scoff over the cape wearing superheroes. They were all corny and cliché and Lizzie stared hard the side of her brother’s face, but Isaac either didn’t notice or didn’t care over her judgment. “Which is the least crap?” she asked after another few seconds. The small pile of comics turned out to be a lot more than she anticipated, but it only fuelled her fire that comics were short and a waste of money.  
  
“You’ll hate them all,” Isaac dismissed, “so just pick one that you can hate the least.”  
  
“That’s why I asked for the least crap one, dumbass,” Lizzie mocked and continued to go through the options like photographs, placing one behind the other until she paused on one that finally caught her attention. It wasn’t the illustrations, but the name of the author that had her tuck the other comics aside between her and Isaac’s seats, which her brother nearly flipped out over because she was crumpling his precious purchases.  
  
Lizzie knew Gerard was an artist of some type, and it should have dawned on her that he most likely created comic characters when she and Jesse saw the pictures at his house, but it was still a surprise to be holding his work in her hands. Lizzie knew little about Gerard, because the man was private and mysterious. He made things sound confusing and poetic which Lizzie had difficulty following when they’d met.  
  
“What do you know about this artist?” she shook her brother’s arm eagerly.  
  
Isaac sighed in frustration, tired of being interrupted from the comic he had his nose buried in. “Which one?”  
  
“Gerard Way!”  
  
Isaac scratched the back of his head and shrugged. “Not much. I just started reading his stuff. I only have, like, three comics of his. That’s the third in that series, I left the rest at home. You won’t know what the hell is going on in that one. Start with a Batman or something. At least you have some background knowledge on that.”  
  
Lizzie ignored her brother’s advice and flipped open to the first page. Of course Isaac was right and she had no idea where the story was picking up from, but that was beside the point, because it was a moment of being inside Gerard’s psyche. “Who’s this?” she pointed to a female character walking along the side of a building  
  
“I don’t know,” Isaac whined. “What do you want now? Liz, just wait and read the first two when we get back home if you’re so interested.”  
  
“Well just tell me what’s happening here at least! I’ll owe you a favour.”  
  
“Dish duty the entire time we’re at Dad’s!”  
  
“Fine. Now talk.”  
  
Isaac tapped a finger against the panel she was focused on. “This girl is one of the main characters. She’s best friends with the protagonist. Anyway, it’s about these kind of misfit kids in high school. Right now they just pull all kinds of little pranks that go against the social hierarchy of their high school, but I think it’s building up to something bigger. Kind of like _The Outsiders_ with the Greasers and the Socs.”  
  
“Where’s she going?”  
  
“I don’t know, obviously I haven’t read it or I wouldn’t have brought it with me on this trip. At the end of the last one they were all planning some big school sabotage thing. And they hang out in the basement of a club a lot because one of them has contacts.”  
  
“Does Gerard do a lot of interviews about his work?”  
  
“I doubt it, this series was hard to come by. Why are you so interested in him? Is he some movie star guy you’re fangirling over? Aw man, don’t ruin my love of the series by telling me he’s some ditzy chick flick leading man.”  
  
“I’m done talking to you,” Lizzie dismissed. “Dish duty in California, it’s a deal.”  
  
Isaac pleasantly jumped back into the comic he was reading as Lizzie flipped to the next page and momentarily stopped breathing. She was undoubtedly starting at an illustration of the 19 year old ghost living in her bedroom.  
  
The female character had sure enough made her way down into the basement Ike had mentioned, and standing at a table leaned over what appeared to be a blueprint was a teen boy resembling Frank, with the same piercings and similar tattoos. The two characters began a conversation regarding an event Lizzie had no knowledge about, so it must have taken place in one of the previous comics, but more annoyingly they weren’t addressing each other by name.  
  
“What’s this dude’s name?” Lizzie tried to ask her brother casually.  
  
Isaac caved in once again. It was better to simply answer Lizzie’s stupid questions than start a whole argument with her. As the kid brother watching from the sidelines while she had petty arguments with their parents he’d caught on quickly just how to avoid confrontation with his sister, and how best to settle an issue with her before it arose to a full out battle.  
  
“Her name is Gemma and his name’s Riley. That’s the protagonist I told you about. He kind of leads the whole gang and can be a real douchebag, but he’s basically like the antihero of the series, you still want him to win.”  
  
“Win what?”  
  
“Whatever it is their current high school drama is. It’s like _High School Musical_ for kids on acid, I don’t know. It’s pretty good though.”  
  
“Doesn’t he look like Frank?” Lizzie’s voice was hesitant.  
  
“That guy you were _skateboarding_ with in your bedroom?”  
  
“We were skateboarding!”  
  
“Sure. I guess he kind of looks like him, from what I can remember. Now is that all?”  
  
Lizzie nodded and took notice that the plane was making a rumbling noise, indicating they were about to start moving. Lizzie sucked in a breath of air and hugged the comic to her chest. The silly illustrated story could be the reveal of all the details Gerard wanted to leave out of his bare minimum explanation. This series could be a memoir in disguise.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Isaac had long since pried the comic out of Lizzie’s hands when the plane touched ground. The end of the issue left her antsy for the next, because in fashion with many comics, it left the reader at the edge of their seat guessing what the outcome would be for the characters. This particular comic left a heavy silence between Riley and the gang as they approached their high school at night. Lizzie had identified Gerard, Mikey, Bob and Ray in the issue, but if there was a Daphne she wasn’t present, because Gemma was tied to Gerard’s character, so Gemma was surely Gloria.  
  
The story whirled up Lizzie’s feelings for Frank and she found herself missing him as they exited the plane and entered the LAX. Riley was undoubtedly Frank. The only difference between Riley and Frank was a certain attitude Riley carried with him that made it difficult to predict him. Frank was a great deal more honest and vulnerable, and that said something, because even Frank had walls up around him and used humour as a coping mechanism.  
  
In a daze Lizzie shook her head to rid her cloudy thoughts and looked to her side at Isaac, only it wasn’t Isaac next to her. Quickly looking around she spotted him up ahead of her in the crowd of passengers that had just entered the airport terminal and hurried forward, nudging a few arms out of the way and earning some annoyed looks as a result.  
  
Isaac startled when she grabbed onto the back of his shirt. “Don’t do that,” she moved her hand to hold onto his sleeve instead.  
  
“I’m just walking,” he tried to shake her off and rolled his eyes when she gripped tighter. “Maybe you should walk faster.”  
  
“Maybe you should stop growing,” Lizzie shot back. Already her little brother cleared 6 ft. and was still going. It was always seemed a bit weird to Lizzie, because her parents weren’t that tall, but her mom’s brother was, so it was in the genes.  
  
“Is that Dad?” Isaac nodded ahead to baggage claim.  
  
“You don’t recognize Dad?” Lizzie snorted. At the same time she couldn’t blame him, they hadn’t seen their father in months. It was like seeing a celebrity in person after watching all of their films and online chats. Part of you couldn’t be completely sure they were real.  
  
“That’s Dad,” Isaac confirmed when the bespectacled man gave them an enthusiastic wave. It prompted a few confused stared in turn from the people surrounding his children, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care.  
  
Lizzie was the first to run forward toward their other parent. She knew she’d been missing him, but exactly how much didn’t hit until she saw his arms held open toward her and Lizzie crashed against him for a hug. Blinking back the sting of tears she cuddled against his side waiting for Isaac to catch up.  
  
Not a word was exchanged between Lizzie or her father until he’d greeted Isaac with a hug as well and then Lizzie couldn’t shut up.  
  
“This divorce is stupid, I don’t like it. Jersey is terrible and I still think we should at least all be in the same fucking state. Why are you out here anyway? Or why couldn’t we moved here?”  
  
“Lizzie,” Darren sighed in a similar manner Olivia might over their daughter’s dramatics. After years of marriage they had permanent habits reminiscent of each other, and especially after raising a daughter like theirs. “Can we save the heavy discussions until we reach the car? I haven’t seen you since summer and this is really how you want to start the visit?”  
  
Lizzie shifted her weight from one leg to the other and hugged against his arm. “Fine, it can wait until the car.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
  
Isaac called shotgun so Lizzie crawled into the backseat in her father’s car and buckled in. The weather was a great deal warmer than Jersey, and lacked snow, but it still wasn’t shorts weather and Lizzie was glad she’d opted for jeans and a sweater when dressing for the plane.  
  
“Alright,” Darren sighed happily as he got behind the wheel and started up the vehicle with a smile. He was happy to have his kids with him for the holidays and reached over just to ruffle up Isaac’s hair, because he could. His teenaged son jerked back abruptly in protest and it only sparked more joy from Darren who chuckled. “Standard father questioning now. How’s school going? Are we pulling in good marks?”  
  
“Oh my God, seriously, dad? We’re already on paranoid teacher mode?” Lizzie corrected. For a portion of his life Darren had been a high school teacher before perfecting his craft and moving on to teach World History as the University of North Dakota and then the University of California in Los Angeles. He’d always been the parent to insist on getting homework done before dinner and threw in the extra math flashcards on weekends when Lizzie and Isaac were in elementary school. When high school rolled around for Lizzie he’d always been on her case about maintaining decent grades. Lizzie was a pretty average student, but Darren was always just a pinch worried she would mingle with the wrong crowd and blow off her studies entirely. Well, Lizzie never did, and with only a few months left of high school, it wasn’t looking all that grim. But of course Darren still had to know about those grades.  
  
“Same as the last time we Skyped,” Isaac answered first.  
  
“Yeah, me too,” Lizzie stared out the window. Her mind briefly pondered whether or not Frank had driven in the airport parking lot when he’d been in Los Angeles. They’d driven from Jersey though, so probably not.  
  
“First round complete,” Darren nodded his head in approval. “Now tell me about all the other aspects of high school. Are you guys making friends?”  
  
“Oh man, that’s lame, Dad,” Isaac laughed. “Anyway, Lizzie’s dating a dude named Jesse from our school.”  
  
“No I’m not,” Lizzie kicked the back of her brother’s seat. “And Ike’s dating a thirty-seven year old mother of three.”  
  
“You guys need to Skype with me more often,” Darren lectured, unfazed and more importantly to Lizzie, unbelieving.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie and Isaac both stood in the driveway to take in the sight of the house their father now called home. The polar opposite of Olivia’s old haunted Jersey house, Darren’s place was very modern. Set in a suburban neighbourhood the house had too many windows for Lizzie’s comfort level and basically welcomed every moseying human to take a peek at what was on their dinner plate, or what television program they chose to spend their downtime watching. Lizzie had always found it odd when people chose such an open living concept. Didn’t they know that earth was a terror and psychotic slime roamed every neighbourhood? This place would be a real pain in the ass for Frank to co-exist in with her if he could. After a few weeks people would more than likely begin to question why the young man with the tattoos and odd habit of walking through walls never came out of the house.  
  
“Do you think the washrooms have windows too?” Lizzie nudged Isaac’s arm.  
  
“Showering fully clothed is a thing, right?” Isaac snorted. “I think I like Dracula’s layer better than this place.”  
  
Smiling over her brother’s willingness to be a sarcastic jerk along with her Lizzie wandered up the driveway to where their father stood patiently with a wide smile on his face.  
  
“What do you guys think? A bit more modern than I was originally going for, but it’s grown on me. Come see the inside! You guys will love your room!”  
  
“Whoa, what?” Lizzie paused in her tracks and glanced over her shoulder to Isaac. “Did he say ‘your’ as in singular, as in we’re sharing?”  
  
Isaac didn’t respond verbally, but did stare grimly ahead through the windows, already determining where the dining room, living room and kitchen were at. The place wasn’t huge, so it shouldn’t have been all too shocking that Lizzie and Isaac would have to share, but something was jarring to Lizzie over the fact that she’d gone several years without having to share a room with her brother, and now it was back to square one.  
  
Her opinion only made her father laugh though. “It’s not the end of the world, Liz. It’s a two bedroom house. But I’ll let you in on the great news! We have an outdoor swimming pool! When you guys come to visit in the summer months you’ll have a blast!”  
  
Lizzie blinked slowly. Was he kidding?  
  
“Come on,” Isaac pulled at her arm to drag her inside.  
  
“He makes how much, and we don’t even get our own fucking rooms?” she hissed to her brother lowly.  
  
“So we just have to deal with it for a couple weeks, it’s fine,” Isaac explained rationally. “Is it really worth a fight?”  
  
Lizzie took in a breath of air and exhaled slowly. Isaac was right, arguing with her father over the room sharing was a bit futile given the amount of time they were actually going to be staying with him. At the same time it made Lizzie sad for the very same reason; the little time they would be staying with their dad.  
  
Entering the house felt similar to walking into a museum. Everything looked so new and polished that Lizzie couldn’t fathom marking it up with her fingerprints. In fact, she couldn’t picture herself being able to call this place home at all. It smelled of wood, linen and an array of cleaning products that made her nose sting.  
  
Isaac appeared to be working through the same dilemma as he left a bit too much space between himself and the walls and furniture while Darren gave the grand tour of the place. Being a bungalow, it didn’t take very long and Lizzie mentally compared it to the tour of their haunted house. It had taken months to explore their Jersey house, but they had this place covered in a mere five minutes.  
  
“And what sold me on the place,” Darren explained with a pep to his step as he slid the glass door aside in order to present the deck and pool in the backyard. “What do you think, guys? I know your room is pretty naked looking, but that’s because you haven’t been here yet! We can paint it while you’re visiting and decide on some furniture. I know it’s a bit cramped in there for two beds, but we’ll make it work.”  
  
Lizzie shot Isaac an objectionable glare, but he avoided it and nodded with a smile to his father instead.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“This place was not decorated by him, I don’t care what you say,” Lizzie kept her voice quiet as she and Isaac unpacked their belongings an hour later in their new bedroom. “Did you see the glass coffee table? He hates glass tables.”  
  
Lizzie expected her brother to protest and argue that their dad was turning over a new leaf just like Olivia, but instead he nodded his head. “Probably.”  
  
Lizzie cocked her head, awaiting a more substantial reply, but he just continued pulling clothes out of his suitcase so she added: “He’s probably still seeing that bitch from work.”  
  
“She’s in North Dakota and we’re in California, do you really think she moved here?”  
  
“At this rate who knows!”  
  
“And you don’t even know that woman or the whole situation, so maybe we should just leave it. It wasn’t working out for anyone so Mom and Dad did something about it.”  
  
“You’re happy they divorced?”  
  
“You’re fucking kidding, right?” Isaac scoffed and zipped his suitcase shut again. “Yeah, I’m happy I get ping-ponged back and forth between two states. And I’m happy that I have to share a room with my grumpy as fuck sister who is in a constant state of PMS.”  
  
“You don’t know PMS,” Lizzie pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t even go there or I really will go PMS on you. But I appreciate your honesty for once.” Lizzie huffed and fell back onto her bed. “Oh man,” she moaned, “you don’t think he’s going to be one of those people do you?”  
  
“What people?”  
  
“The kale smoothie people.”  
  
“I didn’t see a blender,” Isaac’s eyes grew wider in genuine concern. “Nah. He wouldn’t. Would he?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
There were no kale smoothies for dinner, much to the relief of Lizzie and Isaac. Instead dinner consisted, not of takeout, but of grilled chicken, fettucine and salad. It was delicious, but unusual of Darren to put together such a healthy meal.  
  
“I didn’t even know you could cook,” Lizzie joked at the dinner table. The radio played the latest in music quietly and she tried her best to avoid any unwanted eye contact with any passerby’s outside who could see how she clumsily slid her piece of chicken around her plate while attempting to cut into it. Even Isaac had choked on his drink earlier and had instantly glanced out the window to make sure no one had seen.  
  
“I’ve always been able to cook,” Darren declared in surprise. “Your mother just enjoys cooking more. Besides, I’m getting up there in age, it’s probably a good idea if I work on a healthier diet. I even started going to the gym, you guys!”  
  
“Lame,” Isaac coughed into his hand jokingly and grinned.  
  
Darren flexed an arm just for kicks and Lizzie laughed.  
  
“Right, Dad, muscle spectacular. Don’t put anyone out with those guns.”  
  
“I’ll be the first buff history professor that ever existed,” Darren rose from his seat to close the curtains after noticing his children’s’ discomfort.  
  
“ _Indiana Jones_!”  
  
“Oh right, right. Well he has competition now.”  
  
There was a comfortable pause in their conversation before Isaac spoke up next. “You sure went all out decorating for Christmas.”  
  
“I have decoration,” Darren protested and nodded to the corner of the living room connected to the dining area.  
  
Lizzie literally had to focus her attention in order to spot the tiny Christmas tree sat on a shelf. “That?!” she cried out accusingly. “That s your idea of decorating!?”  
  
“Aw, c’mon, you guys, you know how much I dislike clutter. It’s just a whole lot of effort for a measly week out of the year.”  
  
Even Isaac’s face fell in disappointment, but he let it be and picked at his food in silence for the remainder of their meal while Lizzie stared angrily at the pathetic miniature tree from across the room every so often. “It’s barely a foot high.”  
  
“That’s pretty big if you’re Bigfoot, huh?” Darren leaned forward to nudge her arm affectionately, but backed off when Lizzie made no effort to joke back or laugh. “It’s going to be a great Christmas! Decorations aren’t what the season is about.”  
  
“It’s still a part of it,” Lizzie mumbled and thought about cuddling under blankets with Jesse at his place while the tree lit up the room and they watched the dumbest show ever. That had felt magical. Even the scent of burnt bagel and Frank wrecking the kitchen had felt like Christmas. This didn’t feel like Christmas and that’s when Lizzie really understood the meaning of choosing your family. Darren was right, decorations weren’t everything, but even if the place was vomited on by Frosty and designed by Mrs. Claus, Lizzie was sure something would still be lacking.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“Dad’s trying too hard,” Lizzie turned onto her side in bed to stare across to Isaac who was kicked back in his own bed flipping through another one of his comics. “Pass me that one I was reading on the plane,” Lizzie made grabby hands at her brother lazily.  
  
Isaac spun it over at her like a Frisbee and grunted over her comment. “I don’t think he’s trying at all.”  
  
“He’s too enthusiastic,” Lizzie further explained. “Over the top everything’s great and everything’s going to be great. Fucking bullshit.”  
  
“Mom was the same way for a while,” Isaac tilted to his head to the side. “We haven’t really seen him since the divorce. Pretty awkward to have a genuine conversation with him on Skype while Mom is hovering in the other room listening in.”  
  
“Why do either of them have to try to win us over anyway?”  
  
“I don’t know if it’s really about winning us over as it is about being a success without the other.”  
  
“You’re pretty smart for someone who keeps a huge stash of porn at the back of their closet, Ike,” Lizzie opened her comic with a grin.  
  
“What?” Isaac sputtered and stared in horror at his older sister. “Whatever,” his voice rose a pitch from guilt. “Don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I don’t own any porn.”  
  
“You’re gross,” Lizzie teased. It was always such a joy to make her brother squirm.  
  
“I don’t have porn,” Isaac spoke loudly.  
  
“What’s that?” Darren called from the kitchen where he was putting away the dishes Lizzie had washed.  
  
“Nothing,” Isaac squeaked and Lizzie threw her head back in laughter.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Christmas came and went, and it all felt just as weird as the first night at the California bungalow. Darren was overly cheery and spoiled them with too many presents. Lizzie remembered a quote about how who you are one day isn’t who you are the next, and that seemed to apply majorly to her dad. Lizzie loved her father, but he felt like a completely different person from when she said goodbye to him at the airport in North Dakota. She started to wonder if this is what her relationship would be like with both her parents when she moved out on her own. Would her and Isaac become distant relatives who called each other twice a year?  
  
Or would Lizzie ever even move out? Moving out meant leaving Frank behind.  
  
It was December 29th and Lizzie woke up with an acute awareness of the date, the time and her exact location in the world, because it wasn’t where she should be on December 29th. Isaac was already awake and absent from the bedroom. Carefully she reached an arm down at the side of her bed and picked up Gerard’s comic she’d dropped on the floor before falling asleep last night. Isaac found her obsession with the comic a bit weird but still let her get away with reading it each night, because now she had the porn thing over his head and he needed to keep her happy until he could hide it all somewhere else when they got back to Jersey.  
  
Lizzie turned to a page with Riley on it. It was the page where he was conversing with Gemma and it remained Lizzie’s favourite page even after flipping through the entire comic multiple times. Something about how Gerard drew Riley’s smirk was even more Frank than Frank was. Conniving, mischievous, but still sensitive and _good_ , because nothing about Frank was evil or ill-natured.  
  
It was the morning of December of 29th and Lizzie could only imagine a timeline in her head of what Frank’s last day was like in 1989.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The afternoon was spent out and about in LA doing some sightseeing and shopping. Her dad pointed out the university he worked at, speaking highly of his colleagues and hinted several times at Lizzie that she should apply for courses there after high school. There was no point in arguing with him about it and so Lizzie forced little smiles.  
  
“Is there a comic shop around here?” she cracked somewhere around the time her dad started talking a bit too much about one female colleague of his named Kimberly, whom he apparently went out for drinks with quite frequently after work.  
  
“A comic shop?” Darren was caught off guard from the sharp change in subject. “Oh, I don’t know, Izzy. Hey, isn’t Ike the one into comics?” he teased. “Who’s this girl and what have you done with my daughter?”  
  
“There’s a series she’s really into,” Isaac piped up, because if comics were involved he was inclined to help.  
  
“Let’s just look this up then,” Darren snatched up his phone, which Lizzie was quick to pull out of his grip.  
  
“I’ll search it, and you watch the road, old bat.”  
  
“I have a perfect driving record I’ll have you know.”  
  
“I’d expect that from someone who drives like a snail,” Isaac commented good naturedly from the backseat.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The comic shop was bigger than the one Lizzie had seen in their neighbourhood in Jersey and she paused upon entering the building, realizing very quickly that she had no idea how to navigate the place. The series wasn’t Marvel, which covered two thirds of the store with posters, cut-outs and figurines. Some aisles were so crowded with merchandise you had to tip-toe around things.  
  
Isaac had taken off to a shelf near the back as if he were being summoned by unknown forces. It left Lizzie stranded with her father, who hadn’t a clue what he’d just walked into either. Even more so than Lizzie as he pushed his glasses back up his nose and leaned in closely to examine a figurine of the Hulk like it was a rare artifact.  
  
It was then Lizzie realized that if she was going to find the comics she was looking for she was going to have to talk to a worker and that meant socializing. She couldn’t help but put the blame on Gerard. If he had just shown her the stupid series to begin with she wouldn’t have to go socialize with the man eyeing her knowingly from behind the counter.  
  
Lizzie walked up and down a couple aisles before stopping in front of the guy who was probably only a few years older than herself. “Do you have any of Gerard Way’s work?” she asked coolly - like she walked into comic shops on a random basis and knew exactly what she was talking about.  
  
“Absolutely,” the man perked up and came around the side of the counter. “I’ll show you where to look!”  
  
Of course he was willing to show her around the whole store. Lizzie was regretting asking for assistance every step she took behind him. They came to a shelf also near the back of the store that had a whole section dedicated to Gerard’s work and Lizzie was momentarily stunned. Her eyes didn’t know where to settle as she scanned the various characters and titles. Unfortunately, after a quick inspection, she didn’t find what she was hoping to.  
  
“Yeah, but what about that other series?”  
  
“Sorry?” the man’s face screwed up in puzzlement.  
  
Lizzie reached into her bag and produced the comic she’d grabbed in hopes of landing at a comic shop.  
  
The man examined the comic briefly and puckered his lips in thought. “Not sure. Let me have a look on the computer and see what I can find.”  
  
A polite smile of thanks and Lizzie hurried over to her brother, startling him when she grabbed his shoulder from behind. “How the hell did you find those comics in the first place? Are they featured in Jersey? It doesn’t look like they have them here.”  
  
“For fuck sake,” Isaac gripped at his chest and breathed out slowly. “Do you have to sneak up like that? I don’t know, they were there one day. I think they might have been in a bargain bin or something for cheap. I haven’t seen any others since. Pretty much sucks, because it’d be nice to know how the thing ends.”  
  
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder to the man at the counter who was shaking his head slowly to himself. That was never a good sign.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
For the rest of the day Lizzie was pouty and Darren, nor Isaac could understand why. They couldn’t grasp why not being able to find a comic felt like a dead end to Lizzie. Only eight in the evening and she was already back in her bed flipping through one of Gerard’s other comics. Her heart gave a little jolt each time she turned the page; just a little glimmer of hope that maybe he’d drawn Frank into one of these stories as well. But no.  
  
Yawning and stretching her arms Lizzie glanced over to the clock. She wondered if Nikki’s party would have been in full swing yet all those years ago. Was everyone drinking and dancing? Were they rocking out to punk Christmas songs? Were they eating fancy little hors d’oeuvres or greasy pizza? Had Frank arrived yet?  
  
Lizzie felt her eyelids grow heavy and curled up on her side with the comic open to the page with Riley and Gemma next to her on the nightstand. With her head resting on her pillow she could just make out the facial features of Riley’s character and smiled weakly.  
  
 _Lizzie whirled around one way and then the other, trying to locate the voice calling her amongst the crowded apartment. The place was warm and Lizzie could feel some of her hair sticking to her forehead, but it didn’t matter. Everyone was in a similar state, but smiles and laughter outweighed any little inconveniences like crowds and sweat.  
  
“Lizzie!”  
  
Lizzie turned back around and saw a much younger version of Nikki standing in the doorway of what appeared to be the kitchen of the apartment. “Nikki, hi!”  
  
“Track down Chiclet for me and let him know his special brownies are done.”  
  
Turning toward the crowds of people Lizzie ducked around one person and stood on her tip-toes in attempt to see beyond someone else’s shoulder.  
  
“Too short, Lizard,” a boy grunted from behind her and Lizzie whipped around quickly to snap a retort back, but stopped when she looked up at a bearded man. Bob. “Who are you looking for?” he grinned in amusement.  
  
“Chiclet,” her voice was a great deal smaller than she anticipated it being.  
  
Bob looked around before nodding in one direction. “Yo, Mikey! Lizard wants to talk to you!”  
  
Lizzie turned to thank Bob, but the angry teenager had already backed up into another conversation. Instead she tried to squeeze her way through more dancing bodies to meet Mikey halfway and ran right into the lanky boy who spilled beer down her shirt as a result.  
  
A smile took up half his face and he nudged her shoulder sharply with a drunken laugh. “Lizzie, baby! Want a lick of my candy cane?”  
  
“Gross.”  
  
“You’re missing out,” he giggled and slung an arm around her shoulders. “What do you need, Mrs. Claus? Want a peek at my bag of goodies?” he smirked.  
  
“Nikki wants you,” she pulled away with a laugh.  
  
“Yes! Kiss me under the mistletoe, Nikki, I’m ready,” Mikey shouted loudly over the entire crowd. “I’m coming!” He stumbled off, slopping beer this way and that.  
  
Lizzie tried to air dry her t-shirt, but couldn’t stop smiling as she scanned around for more people she knew. Two figures causing attention on the couch had Lizzie double take to realize it was Gerard and Gloria making out and she averted her gaze in embarrassment.  
  
A drink was shoved into her hand and she took a sip of it, grimacing when it burned her throat. Whatever it was, it was strong and she handed it off to another person she brushed by. They took it willingly and Lizzie began to wonder if she was the only sober person in the place.  
  
She was about to head back toward the kitchen when another figure by the window caught her attention.  
  
“Frankie?” her voice squeaked.  
  
“Hm?” the tattooed teen turned his head to the side and gave a forced smile that made Lizzie’s heart pang with hurt. “Hey, Liz.”  
  
“What’re you looking at?” she asked, and silently cursed the loudness in the apartment, because it made it impossible to sound at all sympathetic or worried.  
  
“I don’t know,” he shrugged and chugged back some beer from the bottle he held. “Having fun?”  
  
“Yeah,” she smiled and examined him closely, like she’d never seen him before. “It’s really warm in here though!”  
  
He nodded his head, but it was obvious he was only half listening to her. Frank looked lost in his own thoughts and his eyes didn’t quite focus on her. “Warm, yeah,” he agreed and reached forward with his right hand to brush her hair back. Lizzie expected his hands to be cold, but they were warm. Real and warm and human.  
  
A panic began to set into Lizzie’s chest as she looked from Frank to the crowded room of partiers. “It’s December 29th,” she voiced shakily.  
  
“Frank,” Nikki shouted to be heard from the kitchen.  
  
Frank’s gaze flickered in the direction his sister’s voice had come from and frowned. “I think I’m going to take off,” he told Lizzie.  
  
“No, why?” Lizzie startled and felt the familiar sting of tears gathering in her eyes. “What for?”  
  
“Not really in the partying mood,” he explained and finished off his bottle of beer.  
  
“Well, where are you going?” Lizzie gripped onto his arm. “I can come with you!”  
  
“You’re having fun,” he gave her another forced smile and wrapped an arm around her for a half hug.  
  
“Where are you going?” Lizzie all but shouted. “Where are you going, where are you going?!”  
  
But Frank just continued to fake smile and brushed her off gently. “I’ll see you later.”  
  
“No, you won’t! You won’t, don’t go,” Lizzie wailed and tried to follow him through the crowd of people. “Frankie! Frankie, no, you’re going to crash! You’re going to die! No! Frankie!”_  
  
Lizzie startled to a wake, panting and with watery eyes. Her whole body felt shaken up and it took a few minutes to calm herself down enough to fully realize she’d been dreaming. It was just after midnight and Isaac still wasn’t in bed. She could hear some laughter from the living room and assumed they were still either playing video games or watching television together.  
  
Lizzie took in a deep breath of air and wiped at her eyes before reaching out to turn the lamp off. Her clumsiness knocked the comic onto the floor and she leaned over to pick it up. It had landed on its thin spine, but had opened to a different page containing more of the characters. One of which was the drunken boy spewing pickup lines in her dream.  
  
She paused from picking the comic up and instead stared at the illustration of who would be Mikey’s character in the story. Mikey would have a copy of his brother’s work, wouldn’t he? And Mikey conveniently lived in Los Angeles. Lizzie’s heartrate picked back up and she felt around her bed for her cellphone.  
  
She had a couple missed texts from a friend in North Dakota but ignored them for the time being as she sent a message to Jesse, hoping he was have a really late night. She hadn’t been talking to him much since being in California. Other than wishing each other a Merry Christmas and a few exchanges of the loot they’d acquired from family they hadn’t talked at all.  
  
 _I need Mikey’s address_.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	27. Chapter 27

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Somebody" - Bryan Adams_
  * _"Bang, Bang Boom" - The Unknown_
  * _"Spin the World" - Eric Zayne_



............................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie devoured her pancakes quickly at breakfast with her phone set right next to her plate to keep on alert. Jesse evidently hadn’t been up at 3:00 AM like she’d originally hoped, and she’d fallen asleep about an hour after sending the text.  
  
Now it was nearing 10:00 AM and she was still awaiting a reply. It bothered her on a few levels, because it would already be one in the afternoon Jersey time, and that just made it feel like Jesse was ignoring her.  
  
“Something wrong?” Darren set his mug of coffee down on the table and focused all his attention on his daughter’s heavy silence. In fact, Lizzie had been unusually quiet the entire visit, and unless she was ranting about something she was very reluctant to chat. With only a few days left in their visit Darren was hoping to break the barrier with her and find out what was really going on in her head.  
  
“Nope,” she met his gaze for a few seconds until it was Darren to look away.  
  
“You haven’t told me much about how you’re doing,” he hinted.  
  
“Mediocre grades and despising Jersey, not much to say,” Lizzie shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?”  
  
Darren tapped a finger against his coffee mug trying to keep his patience. Conversations with Lizzie could feel like running a marathon because she was incredibly stubborn and unwilling to chat unless she was in the mood to chat. If you didn’t set a pace in the conversation with her, you would find yourself collapsed at the side of the road, a quarter of the way through the run.  
  
“Have you been thinking about what you’re going to do next?”  
  
“Ike wants to play video games, so maybe that.”  
  
“Elizabeth, you know what I mean,” Darren chuckled. “School. What are you going to do after you graduate? Did you apply anywhere yet?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“Graduation is coming up pretty fast, I wouldn’t leave it too long. You could take a year of random classes to see what you’re interested in and go from there if you’re unsure what you want to do.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
  
Darren wasn’t necessarily happy with her response, but had to let the answer slide in order to keep the conversation going. Pace. “So are the kids at your high school as bad as you thought they’d be? It sounds like you’ve made some friends, based on what Isaac has told me.”  
  
“Not really, most of the people there are assholes.”  
  
“No friends at all?” Darren raised his eyebrows. “Oh come on, that’s not true, Izzie. You had a swarm of friends in Dakota, I’m sure you’ve acquired some friendship skills over the years.”  
  
Lizzie pursed her lips and thought of Frank and Jesse, but that was all that came to mind. She had her few acquaintances at school, but they were simply students who had a shared class with her and would occasionally say hello or lend a pen to. Nathan was a bit more than an acquaintance, Lizzie supposed. He’d said more than five words to her, at least, and appeared to somewhat care about her wellbeing, if even just for Jesse’s sake.  
  
“I guess there’s a couple people,” she settled with telling her father.  
  
“Oh good,” Darren smiled gently. “So you haven’t entirely become a hermit. So are any of these people an icky boy I have to keep an eye on?”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and let her head plop into her hand. “Seriously, Dad?”  
  
“Our original agreement was no boys until you’re thirty!” Darren teased.  
  
“And what about Ike?” Lizzie had a warning tone set in her words that let her father know she would unleash a storm if Isaac was given any kind of special treatment just because he was a boy.  
  
“No girls until he’s thirty-five,” Darren brought the coffee mug to his lips and smiled when Lizzie gave a small, but genuine laugh.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse didn’t respond until after lunch, and when he did it left Lizzie disappointed. He’d messaged her Mikey’s address and his phone number, but that was it. No questions asked and no witty comments. It was unlike Jesse to respond so blandly and Lizzie fell back against her pillow with a huff. When Jesse wasn’t enthusiastic and itching to speak with her, it was weird. She text back a quick ‘thanks’ for the sake of manners and then sat up to pull her father’s laptop forward.  
  
Google Maps suggested Mikey’s location was no more than fifteen minutes away and Lizzie wrote down directions on a piece of paper before closing the laptop and rummaging through her drawer for a sweater to wear. The weather wasn’t cold by any means, but depending on how late she stayed out it had the possibility of dipping down to what Lizzie would classify as chilly.  
  
“What’re you doing?” Isaac yawned from the bedroom doorway. “Are we still playing video games or what?”  
  
“That’s been postponed,” Lizzie explained and yanked one of her favourite sweaters out from under a pile of t-shirt she’d folded. The t-shirts went flying out of the drawer and onto the floor. Lizzie paused briefly to stare at them, picked up one to shove back into the drawer, and left the others with a shrug. “Whatever,” she muttered to herself.  
  
Isaac shook his head slowly. “You’re just going to leave them on the floor? The floor’s dirty you know.”  
  
“They’ll be fine,” she waved him off. “What do you want?”  
  
“Well nothing now I guess,” he sat at the edge of his bed. “I thought we were playing video games. Where are you going?”  
  
“Out.” Lizzie held her backpack upside down and shook out all the little essentials she’d packed in it for the flight to and from Jersey. They rustled onto her bed and she replaced them with her sweater, wallet, headphones and her brother’s comic.  
  
“You have a weird obsession with that comic,” Isaac pointed out calmly.  
  
“You have a weird obsession with porn, but we don’t talk about that,” Lizzie shot back. “I’m going out for a bit.”  
  
Isaac followed Lizzie out of the bedroom and down the hallway where she was ultimately stopped by Darren. Again, she was put under interrogation, and she wished she’d climbed out the window at this rate.  
  
“I’m just going to go explore,” she shrugged casually. “Mom let me go out and explore Jersey on my own.”  
  
“I’m not your mother,” Darren’s voice clipped and he reached forward for the paper Lizzie held in her hand. “What’s this?”  
  
“Nothing,” Lizzie eyes narrowed and she took a step back toward the door. “Just directions. I’ll be fine!”  
  
Darren pulled the paper from her grasp and Lizzie sighed dramatically. “Who’s Mikey?”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes – not at Darren, but over her own stupidity for having written Mikey’s name on the paper at all.  
  
“Someone I know who lives out here, no big deal,” she explained. “I’m just going to go visit him for a bit.”  
  
Darren looked to Isaac for help, but Isaac simply shrugged, having no more information than Darren did. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Darren voiced. “Not on your own at least. Is he a friend from school? How old is he?”  
  
“He graduated from the school I go to,” Lizzie smiled smugly, because Mikey did in fact graduate from her high school, that wasn’t a lie.  
  
“How old is he?” Darren’s voice was firm and unconvinced.  
  
“IDunnoLikeFortyOrSomething,” Lizzie slurred hurriedly and swiped the paper back. “I’ll be back before dinner!”  
  
“Forty?” Darren all but shouted. “Let me get this right, Elizabeth. You’re going out into a city you have no knowledge of, to a house of a forty year old man for a ‘visit’?! What kind of parent do you think I am? There is no way in hell I’m letting you go! In fact, you get your ass back into your bedroom and you can stay there for the rest of the day! What has gotten into you?”  
  
Lizzie had never quite seen Darren this stirred up with anger before and it only fueled her. “Fine,” she shouted and marched back to her bedroom, slamming the door loudly and going directly for the window. The quicker she made her escape, the better.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
  
It didn’t really feel like running away, because Lizzie knew exactly where she was headed and who she was going to see. It wasn’t like she was off to see a forty year old pedophile. Yeah, maybe Mikey liked to act and say things a horny eighteen year old would, but Lizzie was confident he’d never actually try anything. Besides, to her knowledge, he was in a loving relationship with the soon-to-be mother of his child.  
  
It wasn’t difficult to find the correct bus stop, and thankfully it was only one bus to Mikey’s place, so Lizzie shouldn’t have any repeats of trying to locate the mall like she had in Jersey.  
  
What Google Maps didn’t nail in accuracy, was the crazy LA traffic, and Lizzie tapped her foot against the sticky floor of the bus impatiently. The sun was beating down right into her eyes, rubbing in the fact that she lacked enough common sense to grab her sunglasses before fleeing her dad’s fancy new bungalow.  
  
The buzzing sensation in her pocket had Lizzie reaching for her phone expecting an angry text message or call from her father, but she was confused by the number that came across the top of her screen. She expected the message to be spam, but it turned out to be the complete opposite.  
  
 _‘Hey, sorry, it’s Jesse. Was out all night and dropped my phone into a bucket of ice water. Now the battery is always dying. Using my bro’s phone now. Did you get the address?’_  
  
Lizzie snorted quietly and decided she had enough time to respond.  
  
 _‘Ice water? What? Got the address, on my way there now.’_  
  
Not two minutes later and her phone buzzed again.  
  
 _‘Cold drinks are better cold but cell phones aren’t. What’re you visiting for? Did you find something? Wait, don’t tell me. Wait, tell me. I’ll just delete these messages. Wait, call me!’_  
  
Lizzie scooted closer to the window to make room for a lady who sat next to her. She’d been on the bus for a good twenty minutes now, her stop had to be coming up soon.  
  
 _‘That’s long distance charges.’_  
  
Jesse answered within thirty seconds.  
  
 _‘I’ll pay it. Call me!’_  
  
Lizzie waited another few minutes until her stop and sat on the bench to make the call to Jersey. Her thumb hovered over the call button nervously. Nervous for what she wasn’t entirely sure. Lizzie had never been a huge fan of talking on the phone: a nervous tick for the majority of her generation. Of course Jesse was probably the exception to phone conversations, because Jesse would talk to the coked out, slurring vandal on the street who was brandishing a gun. And by the end of that conversation Jesse could probably even have that guy eating out of the palm of his hand.  
  
He picked up after two rings and Lizzie held her breath.  
  
“Lizzie Silver, you called,” he chirped happily. “How’s LA?”  
  
“Well there’s no snow, so I guess that’s a plus,” she explained. “And hi.”  
  
Lizzie could hear the smile in Jesse’s voice as he spoke and imagined him kicked back in his bed lazily. “Yeah? It snowed again here! Double plus!”  
  
“I hope that was sarcasm.”  
  
Jesse laughed and Lizzie could hear movement. Like the sound of glasses being moved around.  
  
“What’re you doing?” she asked.  
  
“I’m glad you asked, Lizzie, because I’m, right this second, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich one handed and it’s going immaculately. Tell me about this Mikey situation.”  
  
“Right,” Lizzie hugged her backpack to her chest with one arm, “well Ike likes to read comic books and he had this one that Gerard wrote! And it’s a series, but it features Frank!”  
  
“No way, that’s so cool! Is it actually Frank?”  
  
“Well his name’s Riley, but he looks exactly like Frank and is all moody and has his sense of humor! And his best friend is this girl named Gemma who looks like Gloria. At least I think she does, it’s not like I’ve seen too many pictures of Gloria. But the whole gang is in it. Like Gerard, Mikey, Bob and Ray. And your mom! But they all have different names.”  
  
“So you’re going to see Mikey because?” Jesse prompted with a small laugh.  
  
“Because I can’t find the rest of the series here. And maybe it’s in Jersey, but I don’t want to wait that long to find out. What if there’s something really important in it? I thought Mikey might have a copy of the series because it’s his brother’s work.”  
  
“I probably never would have thought of that,” Jesse admitted. “That’s a good idea. Facebook me after your visit.”  
  
“Are we friends on Facebook?” Lizzie watched a man jog by, his sneakers hitting the pavement at a steady rate to his music.  
  
“We are now! Frank and I have been talking back and forth, haven’t you been on Facebook?”  
  
“…No,” Lizzie felt stupid. Normally she’d be on her Facebook every day, but being without her laptop threw her for a bit of a loop and it was weird using her dad’s computer to check her own accounts. What if she accidentally left herself logged in and Darren decided to go full out snooping father mode on her?  
  
“Well you should. We could have a three way conversation on there! Just sign with your name at the bottom so I know which one of you I’m talking to!”  
  
Lizzie blinked slowly. “I’m a little scared to see what you two have been talking about on there.”  
  
Jesse laughed and Lizzie heard what was probably a drawer or cupboard closing. “Guess you’ll just have to check in and find out. Say hi to Mikey for me.”  
  
“Ok. I guess I’ll see you soon at school.”  
  
“Yup,” he agreed. “And have a Happy New Year. Got plans with your family?”  
  
“No, not really. You?”  
  
“A few friends are throwing parties so I don’t know what I’m doing yet. Maybe I’ll go to them all.”  
  
“Good luck with that,” Lizzie laughed. “Bye.”  
  
“Bye!”  
  
Lizzie ended the call and pulled out her note with directions on it. Google said it was a five minute walk from where she was, but Lizzie had come to the realization that Google was full of shit.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Mikey’s house was a great deal more impressive than Lizzie would give him credit for. She wasn’t entirely sure what Mikey did for a living, but it obviously raked in a good chunk of change. There were two cars parked in the driveway and Lizzie made her way up to the front of the house slowly. The house had white trim and like her father’s place had a modern look to it, not necessarily cold feeling, but lacking a real homey feel.  
  
There weren’t any steps to climb up to the door and Lizzie adjusted her backpack strap over her shoulder before ringing the doorbell. A few months back Lizzie wouldn’t be caught dead at the house of an adult man she’d met a total of twice in person. Then again, she’d been pretty willing to visit Gerard alone after only having met him once. And Gerard made her feel ten times more uncomfortable than Mikey did.  
  
The door opened with a small swoosh and Mikey’s face lit up with surprise. “Lizzie!” He glanced past her curiously. “Did you come here with Jesse or something?”  
  
“Uh, no, just me,” Lizzie felt her face flush. “But he says hi. He gave me your address. Sorry, I should have called first. I won’t bother you too much, but I have a question. It’ll take, like, three minutes of your time.”  
  
“No bother,” Mikey exclaimed and pulled the door all the way back. “Come in!”  
  
Lizzie stepped inside the house and stared at the walls of the hallway. It was quite the entrance with a glass vase in the corner and some funky looking artwork and a couple framed magazines on the wall. ‘Posh’ was the first word that came to Lizzie’s mind, and it didn’t at all reflect Mikey’s personality.  
  
“Sandra,” Mikey hollered. “Come meet Jesse’s girlfriend!”  
  
“Not girlfriend,” Lizzie snapped and Mikey’s grin only grew.  
  
“Sorry,” he hollered again. “Jesse’s _future_ girlfriend!”  
  
Lizzie sighed and let the argument be when a woman came around the corner. She was clearly pregnant, but even having a huge baby belly didn’t knock the fact that this woman was modelesque. With dark flowing hair and flawless makeup Lizzie had a double take of the framed magazines on the wall before a lightbulb went off in her head. “A model, that makes sense.”  
  
“What?” Mikey nudged her arm.  
  
“You’re a model,” Lizzie repeated with her hand extended politely toward Mikey’s partner.  
  
“Usually,” Sandra smiled. “Been off work for a while though,” she explained and pointed at her protruding stomach.  
  
“Oh, right,” Lizzie nodded. “Of course. Well that’s cool! Why are you with him?”  
  
“Hey,” Mikey’s voice squeaked. “Rude! Get out.”  
  
“I ask myself the same thing every day,” Sandra agreed teasingly and hugged against Mikey’s side briefly. “Joking. So you’re Lizzie was it? Mikey’s told me you’re a friend of Jesse’s.”  
  
“Yeah, a friend,” Lizzie clarified. “I won’t bug you guys very long, I just wanted to ask about a comic I found.”  
  
“Come sit down for a bit,” Mikey welcomed and took off into what Lizzie assumed was the lounge area before she could decline politely.  
  
“I’ll get you something to drink,” Sandra added. “Is iced tea ok?”  
  
“Uhm, sure, yeah,” Lizzie was floored by the hospitality of the woman she’d only just met. Roles reversed, Lizzie would probably be annoyed having some teenaged kid to cater to when she was about to spawn her own kid. Wasn’t Sandra supposed to be pissed off with the sudden interruption of her day?  
  
The lounge made a bit more sense to Mikey’s personality with the big screen television, movie posters and music collection on the walls. The kitchen was conjoined and Sandra waddled to and from the island counter.  
  
“Watch your step,” Mikey warned as he too zigzagged his way around pieces of wood laid out on the floor. It took Lizzie a moment to determine they were pieces to a crib. “The afternoon project,” he explained with a bright smile on his face.  
  
“Morning project venturing into afternoon project,” Sandra corrected with a look toward Mikey that said he was pathetic but she loved him anyway. “Here you go,” she handed Lizzie a glass of iced tea before taking a seat on the couch.  
  
Sandra didn’t look very old and Lizzie assumed there was an age gap between her and Mikey. Not that it was any of Lizzie’s business. She took a seat next to Sandra and laughed when Mikey’s face screwed up in confusion over the instructions on the paper he held close to his nose.  
  
“So what did you want to ask?” he spoke up distractedly while hunting through the dismembered crib for the correct piece. “Something about a comic?”  
  
Lizzie opened her backpack to pull out the comic that was third in the series. Sandra watched with interest and smiled sweetly when Lizzie made eye contact with her. “Is that one of Gerard’s comics?”  
  
Mikey paused what he was doing and brushed his hands against his pants before taking the comic from Lizzie. “Oh yeah! I remember this. Holy shit, I haven’t look at this in years. This was one of Gee’s first projects, how’d you get this? I don’t even think they sell it anymore.”  
  
“My brother said he found the first three in a bargain bin or something?” Lizzie explained. “I went to a comic shop here and they had a lot of Gerard’s work, but not this series.”  
  
“Yeah, no, it’s out of print.”  
  
“So you have the series?” Lizzie bounced on the couch with a wave of excitement.  
  
“Yeah, probably,” Mikey nodded as he flipped through the comic casually and smiled over the illustrations. “I forgot how accurate these drawings were. Oh man, Sandra, look,” he tilted the comic to show off a picture to his wife.  
  
“Look at scrawny little you,” she giggled. “You probably have it somewhere on the shelf upstairs,” she tried to help out and looked to Lizzie. “He keeps a shelf with his brother’s work on it, if he owns this series it’ll be there.”  
  
“Sure, come on,” Mikey led the way.  
  
Lizzie followed suit, admiring all the pictures and artwork adorning the walls along the way. The house had a crisp and clean feel to it, but Lizzie was beginning to find the family oriented ambiance in the little things. Framed family photographs, the shoes in the hallway being crooked and mismatched, the dishes in the kitchen beginning to stack up waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher, etc. The placed was lived in and it showed.  
  
They walked past what was presumably going to be the nursery and Lizzie took a quick peek in. The closet was open, presenting a large selection of baby clothes, which were mostly gender neutral. Either Mikey and Sandra didn’t know the sex of their baby, or didn’t believe in gender stereotypes. Being the 21st century, gender stereotypes were pretty old fashioned anyway. The change table was already assembled and a little bookshelf was settled under the window next to a rocking chair. Lizzie didn’t know Mikey very well, and had only just met Sandra, but she was excited for them and smiled before hurrying to catch up with Mikey who had disappeared into a room down the hall.  
  
“Whoa,” Lizzie breathed when she paused in the doorway. “What’s this room?”  
  
“Meh,” Mikey shrugged. “Multipurpose room…mainly my geek room though.”  
  
Geek room indeed. The room was loaded with comic books, novels, records, action figures and various memorabilia of bands and films. There was a couch in the corner and a small desk where a record player sat, but the room was basically meant to hold all things nerdy. An entire room in the house was dedicated to Mikey’s nerdy side. It was beautiful.  
  
Lizzie scanned the shelves while Mikey dug around in one particular until he made a pleased noise. “Ah-ha! Here we go. That was easier to find than I thought! Here.”  
  
For a moment Lizzie stared in confusion over the comics he held. “What’s that?”  
  
“The series,” Mikey waved the few comics in her face.  
  
“But…” Lizzie’s heart sunk as she accepted the comics. “There’s only five comics here… That’s it?”  
  
“It was a short series,” Mikey shrugged.  
  
“It ends in two more comics?” Lizzie felt her chest tighten. “How can it possibly end in two more comics? There was so much going on! So much still has to happen!”  
  
“Whoa,” Mikey placed a hand on her shoulder. “Slow down and breathe.”  
  
Lizzie took in a breath and stared down at the comics. “I thought there would be a lot more.”  
  
“There probably should be,” Mikey explained carefully, “but Gee never really ended this series. I mean it ends, but it doesn’t complete the story.”  
  
It took a moment to let the information sink in and stared at the cover of the first comic Isaac apparently owned back in Jersey. “Did this stuff actually happen to you guys?”  
  
“In a sense,” Mikey folded his arms lightly and let his own gaze travel amongst the shelves. “Shit it’s dusty in here.”  
  
“But these characters are you guys isn’t it? Bob and Gloria and all of them.”  
  
“Oh come on,” Mikey laughed and swiped the first comic from her hand. He flipped through it and paused when he’d found the page he was looking for. “Tell me this handsome devil isn’t me,” he grinned and held up a page that had teenaged Mikey attempting to flirt with a female with very large breasts.  
  
“Yeah, alright,” Lizzie gave a small laugh and took the comic back. “Is Daphne in this?”  
  
“Sort of,” Mikey answered carefully. “She’s implied, if I’m remembering correctly. I haven’t read those in a long time.”  
  
“Why did Gerard stop working on them?”  
  
The conversation was getting too serious for Mikey who was showing his discomfort in little ticks. Folding and unfolding his arms or shuffling around on the spot, he didn’t like the sombre reminder of why the comics were ever written. “They were meant to be a really fun project. Gee’s original plan was to create a whole series about us. After Frank died he started this…mainly to cope, I think. But, I don’t know. I’m not Gee, but I guess he either got over it enough or maybe it just became too much and too real.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie nodded and smoothed her hand across the first comic. “Is it ok if I just flip through these before I leave?”  
  
“You can have them,” Mikey answered easily with a small smile. “I like how you’re trying to help Jesse, you know? Show these to him.”  
  
Of course Mikey didn’t know the half of it and why she was so keen on ‘helping Jesse’, but Lizzie wasn’t about to decline the generous offer and hugged the comics to her chest. “Thank you!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie was all but physically forced to sit and eat a late lunch of simple sandwiches with Mikey and Sandra. In doing so Lizzie was rewarded with little tidbits of information synonymous with the comics. Like how the basement of the club was similar to that of the one Frank’s band often played at. Or how Frank had used a pack of crayons to sketch out a map of the school before the break-in. The more Mikey talked, the more Lizzie began to feel like she was never as tightly knit to her friends in Dakota. Mikey had went out on a limb numerous times for his friends and Lizzie tried and failed at locating a memory of her own friends that matched the dedication of Mikey’s friends.  
  
Lizzie left early that evening to head home with the comics in hand. She’d hugged both Mikey and Sandra goodbye after providing them with her address in Jersey. Apparently Sandra liked her and was going to send a picture of the baby when it was born. Lizzie had never made such a good first impression in her life.  
  
On the bus ride home she read through comic #4 of the series and felt her heart rate pick up double time when the gang broke into the school. She felt like she was there next to Mikey’s character, yielding a flashlight and writing graffiti on the walls. And she felt like she was there when Riley drove them back to his apartment, elated and whooping along with everyone else. Lizzie was even there when two pages later, a shadowed figure of a girl haunted Riley’s dreams.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Angry wouldn’t even describe the mood Darren was in when Lizzie showed up just before dinner in the evening. Isaac had text her several times throughout her visit with Mikey, and Darren had called three times. Lizzie’s final strategy was to simply shut her phone off and let it be. Now that she was back at the house she was regretting not even having replied to her brother, because even Isaac was pissed off and Darren had shouted at her to go to her room.  
  
“You could have told me,” Isaac narrowed his eyes at her. “I had to put up with Dad for hours! Maybe I could have come with you and then this whole thing could have been avoided. You could have told us you were trying to get these comics,” he pointed.  
  
“And what would you have done if I had told you?”  
  
“Come with you at least,” Isaac argued. “What if this guy turned out to be a complete creep who – like – attacked you or something?” Isaac’s voice raised in pitch the more worked up he became.  
  
“Ike, he’s basically Jesse’s uncle, no big deal,” Lizzie explained calmly. “Take it down a notch before you summon all the dogs in the neighbourhood with that voice.”  
  
Isaac rubbed at his face, either because he was tired or just plain fed up. Still, he gave a small snort of laughter and flicked his middle finger in the air. “Dad’s going to kill you.”  
  
“Is that why he sent me to my room like I’m seven?”  
  
“I’m pretty sure he just doesn’t know how to approach you over this yet. But he was livid.”  
  
“Great,” Lizzie mumbled, “well he can come talk when he’s ready, but I totally didn’t do anything wrong.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
As it turned out, Darren was so angry that he didn’t bother speaking to Lizzie for the rest of the day. Instead he left it up to Isaac to bring Lizzie her dinner…and no dessert. Darren had resorted to the basic strategies of parenting _children_ and if Lizzie wasn’t so ticked off herself she probably would have laughed.  
  
Darren left the discussion with Lizzie until New Year’s Eve the next day. He caught her at an odd moment because she’d just finished reading the comic series and felt a combination of many things, with anxiety in the lead because she wanted to be back in Jersey with Frank. Mikey had been right, the series was left unfinished and it left Riley in an alley with the girl he’d been dreaming of. Only she was hardly a pleasant encounter when, in the last panel, she pressed a handgun against his chest. Lizzie couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, but she was willing to place bets that the shadowed girl was Daphne.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	28. Chapter 28

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Blackbird" - The Beatles_
  * _"Never Let You Go" - Third Eye Blind_
  * _"Don't Stop" - 5 Second of Summer_
  * _"Teenage Dirtback" - Wheatus_
  * _[Sad Winter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sumLO40CJvo)_



...............................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie couldn’t help but giggle aloud when Frank’s character smacked Mikey’s character upside the head over a forward comment made about his sister. It was the first comic in the series and Lizzie reveled in the set-up, because everything was lighthearted and fun. Gerard had painted a picture of a time when there seemed to be no worries and Lizzie found it very easy to insert herself into the storyline.  
  
Her smile was interrupted by the light tap at her door and she rest the comic on her chest before making eye contact with her father. “Hi,” she greeted in a small voice that was childlike and very unlike the young woman Lizzie had grown up to be.  
  
Darren entered the room and sat at the edge of her bed, his hands clasped loosely in his lap and a calm but concerned expression on his face. “I think we need to have a talk about your actions yesterday. What possessed you to sneak off like you did? To a strange man’s house? What’s going on with you, Lizzie? You mom has told me how anti-social you’ve become and how most of your time is spent in your room at home.”  
  
“Is that weird?” Lizzie frowned. “I thought that was the basic teenaged population. I’m fine spending time alone, and I do go out with friends. And why have you been talking to Mom about me? Aren’t you guys at each other’s fucking throats lately?”  
  
“One boy, Lizzie! You spend all your time with one boy! I just don’t want you to throw your whole life away over one punk kid who thinks whatever time you have needs to be spent on him.”  
  
“Jesse’s not like that,” Lizzie felt her face grow hot and angry on Jesse’s behalf. Darren was painting an image of a selfish kid who thought the world revolved around him, and that description was anyone but Jesse.  
  
“So then why aren’t you making friends? You were always out with your friends in Dakota.”  
  
“And you were still married to Mom. Things change.”  
  
“This is about the divorce.”  
  
Lizzie heaved a sigh and fell back against her pillow. “No. It’s not.”  
  
Darren looked around the bedroom, noting the posters hung up on Isaac’s side of the room. A few of his things were scattered about, just like they would be back in Dakota. But Lizzie’s side of the room was bare and her suitcase was open on the floor with things already placed in it. Either because she’d felt the need to start packing already, or she’d never taken those items out to begin with.  
  
“Why did you go see this man?”  
  
“He had the comics I wanted,” Lizzie mumbled miserably to the side. “That’s all. He’s like an uncle to Jesse and his brother wrote the comics. I figured he’d have a copy. I’ve met him before, he’s not sketchy.”  
  
Darren’s entire expression relaxed at Lizzie’s explanation, because it was calm and honest. There was no indication that she was once again lying or trying to work her way out of the conversation and he felt like he was able to breathe easier.  
  
“So these comics mean a lot to you,” he settled for saying next and picked up the first in the series. “I never knew you were into comic books.”  
  
“It’s a new hobby.”  
  
“A lot of new things about you,” Darren agreed and flipped through the pages. “I didn’t realized a few months would bring so much change. What’s this series about?”  
  
Lizzie propped herself up on her elbows and gave the hint of a smile. “A bunch of friends in high school, basically.”  
  
“Ah. They look…interesting.”  
  
“Well their style is based on the 80’s. So old, like you.”  
  
Darren chuckled and lightly bopped her head with the comic. “Thanks. Lizzie, do me a favour before you start packing up to leave.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Decorate your room a bit. Make it look like you’re going to come back.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
After her talk with Darren, Lizzie did in fact pull out a few trinkets she was willing to leave in California and strategically placed them around her side of the room before plunking back down on her bed with Darren’s laptop.  
  
She hadn’t been using the computer for much during her stay, and even when she had dragged out the laptop, she’d drawn a blank as to why she needed it as soon as it was booted up. She’d never thought of being able to message Frank on it until Jesse pointed out the obvious, and now she was excited to join in on the conversation.  
  
There were no little red notifications to greet her when she logged on, but only because Frank had evidently clicked on them before her to check out, the snoop. The side bar announced one of her friend’s birthdays and Lizzie went to the profile to write a greeting on her wall, but found that she already had. Frank. ‘ _happy birthday, dana! your new hair looks fab! xo_ ’  
  
“Oh my God,” Lizzie stared in horror. She would never say anything so ridiculous to a friend. And she was never particularly that close to Dana!  
  
With not much to be done about the situation Lizzie tried to pretend it never happened and clicked on messages to see what Frank and Jesse had been conversing about while she was away.  
  
A whole lot of random was the discovery. Ranging from cars to music to how Frank should try using Shout to get a stain out of Lizzie’s bedspread. Lizzie didn’t even want to know and so skimmed that part and moved on to the more recent messages.  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _Holy fuck, man, the Lucky Punk is by far the best character in the entire show! If they do casting call I’m totally going for that role. I don’t care how we do it, I’ll cake myself in makeup if I have to. Or pick up this goddamn house to bring to the set.  
  
What’re you doing for New Year’s?_  
  
 **Jesse:**  
  
 _BEST CHARACTER TO EVER EXIST! I’d be all over Candy, but if the Lucky Punk walked in, I might just have to switch sides.  
  
My friend Lisa’s throwing a party so I’ll probably be there. What’re you going to consume your time with?_  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _Please tell me Candy hooks up with the Lucky Punk.  
  
Obviously I’m going to be attached to this goddamn show until I reach the end of it!_  
  
 **Jesse:**  
  
 _Let’s just say you’re not even going to need to use your hand.  
  
Lizzie typed gibberish into the reply box several times trying to decide what to say first. In the end she settled on a simple “Ew” and signed it with her name so all would be clear who was talking. Minutes later she was notified of a response and clicked eagerly on her messages to read._  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _Elizabeth! What the hell took you so long?!_  
  
 **Lizzie:**  
  
 _I’m sorry! I didn’t even think to check Facebook. You guys are disgusting, why am I friends with either of you?_  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _You love the dirty stuff. Speaking of dirty, your mom snatched your magazine of Sparkles off your bed. Weird kinks run in the family I guess._  
  
 **Lizzie:**  
  
 _Gross! No! She likes to read the cosmetics section._  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _Whatever helps you sleep at night, Liz. How’s your visit going with your dad?_  
  
 **Lizzie:**  
  
 _Meh, it’s weird. A lot has changed. I’m 78% sure he’s already seeing another woman. He was seeing a woman while he was still married to my mom though, so I don’t know why that surprises me._  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _Well you’ll be back here soon and you can forget about it for a while._  
  
 **Lizzie:**  
  
 _I guess so. Did you watch those home videos?_  
  
 **Frank:**  
  
 _A couple.  
…Not easy.  
And lots of naked Jesse ass that somehow snuck in there. He was a surprisingly chubby baby._  
  
Lizzie chatted with Frank back and forth another few minutes before Darren called her and Isaac to the living room for a late lunch and board games. Lizzie snooped through a few of Jesse’s most recent profile pictures before exiting her account. She’d been meaning to message him like he’d originally asked, until she realized that messaging Jesse meant Frank would be able to see all. Obviously Jesse hadn’t thought it through enough either, so she quickly text the smiling boy on the laptop screen instead.  
  
 _Mikey’s good, but his carpentry skills are shit. Got all the comics. I’ll show them to you when I get back._  
  
Nikki had told Lizzie the obvious when she commented on her son’s ability to befriend almost anyone. If his outgoing personality didn’t prove it on your first encounter with him, then his friend count on Facebook might, or the fact that he had over 1,000 pictures. Where Lizzie had multiple pictures of the same poses with the same group of friends, Jesse’s pictures included a bunch of different people. A huge group gathering here, a family snap there, and an intimate picture with a pretty girl taken in February that Lizzie could only assume was one of the girlfriends Nikki had mentioned. She didn’t look familiar, which didn’t altogether shock Lizzie, because many of Jesse’s friends were older or attended different schools. But seeing Jesse locking lips with her was enough to make Lizzie want to click the little ‘X’ in the corner of her screen. Which she did.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Regardless of the arguments she and her father had throughout their brief visit, Lizzie still found it difficult saying goodbye at the airport. Everything was still so up in the air that she was unsure exactly when the next visit with him would be. Supposedly Spring Break, but if Olivia was given the time off work, it could be postponed in order for her to spend free time with her kids. And Olivia was a fan of spending free time with her kids as of late.  
  
“Try your best in school these last few months,” Darren encouraged Lizzie on their short walk to security check. “And don’t forget those applications. If you don’t get those in you won’t get in anywhere and then what? You’re at the threshold of your future, Elizabeth, don’t throw it all away. Especially for one icky boy, right?”  
  
“There’s no boy,” Lizzie sighed heavily in annoyance. Darren was continuously bringing Jesse back into the picture and it was getting old. “No boy, no girl, just me and my love of procrastinating. Don’t worry, the forms will get filled out before the deadline, I swear.”  
  
“I just don’t want you to have any regrets,” Darren clomped one hand on her shoulder and his other on Isaac’s. “Both of you. Senior year is going to sneak up on your faster than you think, Ike, you should probably start thinking about where you’d want to attend college too.”  
  
“I’ll try to fit it into my schedule,” Isaac’s tone was teasing and Darren smiled proudly as he pulled both his kids close for a hug.  
  
“Love you both. Have a safe flight home and I’ll see you again really soon. Skype no fewer than four times a week.”  
  
“Love you,” Lizzie’s voice wobbled. “I left some of my clothes in the drawers. For when I come back.”  
  
Darren pressed a kiss to her head affectionately. “Thank you.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Being reunited with Frank was rushed and not at all what Lizzie was hoping for when her mother announced that they were going out for dinner. Lizzie and Isaac were tired from the plane ride and felt disgusting despite having showered that morning before leaving. Going out to dinner was a low priority for both teenagers, but Olivia wouldn’t allow them to decline.  
  
“I didn’t cook anything for tonight and it’ll give us the chance to catch up over some good food. Now go change quickly so we can leave.”  
  
“Unlock your suitcase and then I can put things away for you while you’re gone,” Frank attempted to coax Lizzie out of a long hug in her bedroom before she froze her boobs off.  
  
“I’m not letting you touch my dirty socks and underwear,” Lizzie’s words were languid. “Just leave it.”  
  
“I’ll leave your dirty socks and underwear for you to put away then,” Frank’s tone matched hers and he ran his hand up and down her back comfortingly. “You’re disgusting.”  
  
“Thanks,” Lizzie yawned against his shoulder. “I don’t want to go for dinner. I want to stay here with you.”  
  
“I’ll be here when you get back,” Frank smiled fondly. “It’s just a couple more hours and then you’re stuck with a ghost invasion for the next few months. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts and then I’ll give you a play by play of your mother’s holiday without you guys. And man, some funny shit went down while you were gone. Like, did you know your mom likes to belt out opera when no one’s home?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie giggled. “She does? Oh my God that’s so lame.”  
  
“No, no, lame would be if you didn’t break out into song when home alone. It’s a prime opportunity to be your complete, unjudged, weird self, and we’re all weird, so it’s good. But more when you get back. Go eat.”  
  
“You smell like winter,” Lizzie slurred sleepily.  
  
“You smell like…old men on a plane.”  
  
“Shut up,” Lizzie laughed and shoved away from Frank. “Ok, I’ll be back in a bit. Just don’t touch my dirty socks and underwear. Seriously, that’s creepy.”  
  
“I’m a ghost, not a panty sniffing pervert!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse had been right when he said it had snowed while Lizzie was away, and she was unhappy to get some of that fresh snow in her boot. Walking to school in a couple days was going to be a real peach.  
  
The restaurant was thinning out at 9:00 PM and with an order of cheeseburgers and fries all around it was a relaxed setting for Olivia to catch up with her kids like she wanted.  
  
“How’s your father?” she asked the jabbing question while munching casually on a fry. At least she was trying to be casual, but the way she spoke was flippant and unlike herself.  
  
“Dad’s fine,” Isaac responded with a glance to his sister that told her not to start anything she’d regret. “We had a lot of movie nights, it was fun.”  
  
“Oh good,” Olivia broke a fry in half and dropped both pieces onto her plate. “It was really quiet without you two around. And cold again. I don’t know what in the world is wrong with our heater. First the air conditioning and now this. I thought I might have turned the air on, but warm air was coming out of the vents, it just didn’t do anything to warm up the house. I had someone come take a look at it, but they didn’t find anything wrong.”  
  
“Our house is haunted,” Isaac gave a small laugh.  
  
Lizzie whipped her head toward him, but instantly relaxed when she saw he wasn’t serious. “Yeah,” she snorted a laugh. “Maybe. I like it though.”  
  
“A huge turnaround from your initial reaction this summer,” Olivia expressed her surprise pleasantly. “I don’t think you could have been more miserable your first night in the house. Remember sleeping on the floor?”  
  
“Still weird that, that dude left all his stuff,” Isaac gave his input.  
  
“Frank,” Olivia pulled the name up in her memory.  
  
Lizzie looked back and forth between her brother and mother, “He died, Ike. I’m pretty sure he never meant to up and leave everything behind like that.”  
  
“Still weird.”  
  
“You’re weird.”  
  
“Don’t start,” Olivia cut in before Isaac could retaliate.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The room was quiet and dark, save for the soft glow of Lizzie’s phone as she showed Frank some pictures she’d taken in California. Every once in a while he would flick back to a picture she went through too quickly and rest his head on her shoulder to get a better look.  
  
“You look a lot like your dad,” Frank spoke quietly. Though he didn’t sleep, it sounded like he was on the verge of sleep, as Lizzie was. If Frank weren’t lying next to her, accidentally brushing his cold arm against hers every so often, she would have fallen asleep half an hour ago. “More than your mom, I think.”  
  
Lizzie took in a deep breath of air through her nose and let her hand holding the phone drop down to her bed. “Who do you look more like out of your parents?”  
  
“Never thought much about it,” Frank gently pried the phone out of her grip. Lizzie’s body coordination was dwindling in her sleepy state and her only attempt to get the phone back was a lazy slap at his arm. Even her initial panic of Frank snooping through her text messages to Jesse faded quickly until she was a zombie version of herself watching Frank pull up the last text she’d sent to his nephew.  
  
“You saw Mikey,” he spoke in the same soft tone he had been since Olivia had retired to her room for the night.  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth a couple times, but no words seemed suitable. Was she meant to apologize? Was she supposed to tell him all about how Mikey was living in California with his knocked up model girlfriend? Was she was supposed to answer at all?  
  
“Yeah,” was all that came out in the end, and Frank placed her phone back down on the bed next to her hand.  
  
“What for? Why are you doing this?”  
  
“Because I told you I would help you and I’m sticking to it.”  
  
“Find Daphne?”  
  
“Find Daphne.”  
  
“Do you really think you can find her?”  
  
“Are you going to be a stubborn asshole when I do? Or are you going to want to know about her?”  
  
“I want to know what happened to her,” Frank’s voice was timid. “I want to know if she’s ok.”  
  
“I’ll find out.”  
  
Frank smiled weakly up at the ceiling and startled Lizzie when he sat up quickly. “Come with me,” he whispered.  
  
“Where?” Lizzie whined. “I’m tired.”  
  
“Sleep in tomorrow. Come on, I want to show you something.”  
  
Lizzie complied, but not without complaining. Even if it was via facial expressions because they had to be weary of the rest of the sleeping family.  
  
Frank’s hand gripped tightly to Lizzie’s as he tugged her along mercilessly. He was excited to share something with her and when he pushed her down onto the couch in the living room she knew exactly what that something was.  
  
“Hold this,” he tossed the remote onto her lap and moved to the television. She could hardly see in the moonlit room, but Frank had no problem uncasing the VHS tape he was looking for. He pushed it into the clunky old machine and backed up. “Keep the volume low, it’s about to get really loud,” he giggled quietly.  
  
Lizzie muted the television just to be safe and waited for Frank to sit next to her on the couch.  
  
“Press play,” he urged excitedly.  
  
Lizzie eyed her best friend suspiciously but pressed the play button and watched the screen come to life with footage of grass.  
  
“What the fuck is this?”  
  
“Just wait,” Frank leaned forward in a trance.  
  
Whoever was filming was shitty at controlling a camera because the picture jumped around everywhere, capturing glimpses of houses, sneakers and passing cars. Lizzie carefully notched up the volume and could hear why Frank had warned her to keep it low. Cackles of laughter were being forced into the microphone.  
  
 _“If you drop that camera I’m going to have you castrated,”_ Frank’s voice was heard in the background of the film and Lizzie’s eyes lit up in surprise.  
  
 _“You wouldn’t,”_ a much younger version of Mikey turned the camera on himself and peered into it. _“Aw man, we should make a movie with this thing!”_  
  
 _“No girl is going to agree to be in a porn film with you, Mikey, give it up.”_ The camera panned to a girl with jet black hair, heavy eye makeup and a skimpy top.  
  
 _“Oh yeah, and so why exactly was that hot chick hitting on me in the hall this morning, Gloria?”_  
  
 _“I know you’re not referring to Ms. Richards, the old hag with the overbite and teaching degree.”_ The camera jumped to a young Gerard whose nasal voice was exactly the same as Lizzie had heard in person.  
  
 _“She smells like tuna fish.”_ The camera whipped around to Bob who spoke matter of fact and not with the initial misery and anger he’d greeted Lizzie and Jesse with at the grocery store.  
  
 _“And stale crackers,”_ Ray added right next to him.  
  
Mikey zoomed in on Ray’s hair dramatically before turning to a very zoomed in shot of Frank’s nose piercing. _“Whatever, she was still hitting on me. Frank how do I zoom out?”_  
  
Frank’s hand came up and the image zoomed out to capture his whole face. _“This button, you little runt. Quit playing with it.”_  
  
 _“Man, this is sweet. I wish I had a camera. Glore, get in the shot with Frankie.”_  
  
The girl with the heavy eye makeup hopped into the picture and hugged tightly around Frank with a giggle. _“How’s that?”_  
  
 _“Perfect! What are we doing, guys?”_  
  
 _“Your mother,”_ Frank quipped with a grin and wrapped an arm around Gloria’s shoulders. _“Shut the fucking thing off now, Mikey, you’re going to waste the battery.”_  
  
The camera went fuzzy and Frank took the remote out of Lizzie’s hand to shut the television off. It left both teenagers in a heavy silence until Lizzie dared to ask a question.  
  
“Is that all there is?”  
  
“No,” Frank answered simply. “There’s more. And probably a lot more I haven’t even seen yet. I told you, it’s not easy, but… Well it’s not easy, but it’s also pretty great.”  
  
“Thanks for sharing that with me, Frankie.”  
  
“I owe you something. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And everything you’re doing for me. I don’t want the details but is Mikey ok?”  
  
“Mikey’s great,” Lizzie smiled meekly.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
The last couple days of vacation zipped by like any other and Lizzie woke up with a feeling of dread for the coming days ahead. She’d just become used to attending her Fall classes and seeing the same people every day. Now she would have to face a slew of new classes with a matching trend of new faces that would probably jumpstart the whole “New Girl” remarks if she so much as sighed.  
  
Lizzie had made the mistake of staying up late with Frank; an ongoing mistake she couldn’t seem to correct, no matter how difficult it became to wake up in the morning. Granted, that was a perk of having a ghost as your roommate, because Frank never slept and being as creative as he was hadn’t reached an end in the odd ways he found to wake Lizzie up in the mornings when she was being particularly whiny and childish. Pepper up her nose, hissing in her ear, caking makeup on her face, using Isaac’s lightsaber to pretend to cut off her arm or one day he even sat at the edge of her bed reading aloud from one of Olivia’s gardening books in his best impression of her. Frank raided everyone’s drawers for ideas.  
  
That morning he’d settled for the classic cold hands bit and stuck a ghostly hand up the back of her shirt until she couldn’t stand it anymore and jumped up in shivers.  
  
“Good morning, Sunshine!” Jesse’s voice called from halfway down the hall and Lizzie had to double take over how quickly he was approaching her.  
  
“Good morning,” she giggled. “What’s with the skateboard?”  
  
“The snow will melt soon enough,” he explained and came to a halt, flipping his skateboard up with his foot to grab hold of with skill built from frequent practice and a lot of clumsy falls.  
  
“Did you get a haircut?” Lizzie was almost caught off guard when Jesse pulled her into a hug. Jesse’s hugs were borderline claustrophobic sometimes the way he gripped so tightly. Like you were something that would disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough. He’d never hugged Lizzie quite like such before and it almost took her breath away as she hugged back.  
  
“I did,” he confirmed. “When I almost walk into a tree because my hair is in my face that’s when I know it’s haircut time.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Lizzie agreed over his less shaggier appearance. There was a bit of curl to his dark hair that came down to his ears and Lizzie quite liked being able to see his entire face at once.  
  
“How was the rest of your holiday?” he backed up to his locker to hang up his jacket. Still giving the impression that snow was white sand a jacket was all he had to hang up, with no gloves, hat or scarf to accompany it. And even then, the jacket wasn’t very warm. “I text you but you didn’t answer. Ignoring me or not getting my messages?”  
  
“The latter,” Lizzie cast a puzzled expression and pulled her phone out from her pocket. Yeah…nothing. When did you send it?”  
  
“Which one?” Jesse gave a small laugh. He gathered together a couple textbooks and it was nice seeing him able to reach up to the top shelf on his own. It reassured Lizzie he was in fact healed from surgery.  
  
“…Any? How many did you send?”  
  
“I don’t know. A couple. Nine. But don’t flatter yourself, I sent Nathe, like, thirty.”  
  
“Thirty? What the hell of?”  
  
“Pictures of sea turtles mainly.”  
  
“Why sea turtles?”  
  
“Why _not_ sea turtles? So my phone is still out of commission. Fuck.”  
  
Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and watched Jesse slam his locker shut. Without a word he pulled her legs down from the ledge so she’d be forced to sit and so he could collapse down next to her. A far cry from their first awkward introduction and without any bananas.  
  
“I have the comics for you to look at,” Lizzie perked up as Jesse sat examining his busted phone. He was muttering to himself over it but all Lizzie could make out was a grumble of how expensive the piece of junk was.  
  
“Maybe you should have stayed clear of buckets of ice water with a phone in your hand. Here, look, this can take your mind off your stupidity.”  
  
Jesse narrowed his gaze but it didn’t last and his right hand came up to shake her shoulder teasingly. “Well hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, show me! Where is it?”  
  
“Wait,” Lizzie laughed and reached down to grab her backpack.  
  
Jesse watched intently, “Your friendship skills need work, Lizzie Silver.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“My phone is busted, you should be showing me empathy right now. Offer your condolences, gimme hugs, buy me a new phone…”  
  
“You’re joking, right?” Lizzie snorted.  
  
“No, I’m telling 100% truth,” Jesse smirked. “Yes I’m joking. You got a tan. That’s not a joke.”  
  
Lizzie paused mid-action of giving up the five comics in her hand. “Not much of one. We didn’t spend enough time in the sun.”  
  
“You were out enough, I see a tan,” he insisted and plucked Gerard’s work of art from her. “You’re glowing.”  
  
“I’m not pregnant!”  
  
“Did I say you were?” Jesse laughed. “Jumping to conclusions. Are you hiding something? What aren’t you telling me?”  
  
“Fuck off,” Lizzie folded her arms with a blush.  
  
Jesse continued to smile away his laughter and instead examined the comics he held in his hands. “I won’t judge if you are.”  
  
“I’m not now shut up!”  
  
“Such a touchy subject, alright.” Jesse flipped through the first in the series and paused on the first page he saw Riley on. “Holy shit that is him. So what’s this about? What did we learn?”  
  
“Not much other than Daphne may or may not have been a complete bitch judging from the last page in the fifth comic.”  
  
Lizzie took the time to examine Jesse over closely as he picked through to the fifth comic. While it wasn’t odd for Jesse to look tired, the boy looked _tired_. “Have you been working a lot?”  
  
“Does it show?” he snorted softly. “Yeah, I picked up a couple extra shifts. Mom got a pay cut – Merry Christmas. So I’m just pitching in a few extra bucks to help out. No big deal, it’s happened before.”  
  
“That’s shitty.”  
  
Jesse’s gaze flickered up from the brightly coloured pages and locked with hers. “Could always be worse.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
  
Literature was first thing in the morning and for a fleeting moment Lizzie felt disappointed hers and Jesse’s conversation was going to be cut short. That was, however, until he got up to walk with her.  
  
“Literature together, remember?” he mimed opening a book in his hands when he read the confusion on her face. “Lizzie Silver did you seriously forget?”  
  
“Right,” Lizzie confirmed, “I didn’t forget.”  
  
Jesse led the way and Lizzie trailed behind with a smile on her face all the way to the classroom. Most of the class was already present but there was still a table at the back that Jesse nabbed for them both.  
  
There were familiar faces Lizzie recognized from a couple of her other classes last term, including someone she’d worked with on a project who offered a friendly smile once she was seated. Jesse dropped his notebooks onto the table and wandered over to the other side of the room where he had a very animated chat with two people that were obvious friends judging by the way they laughed when he moseyed over to the whiteboard. ‘ **WELCOME BACK MR. KARP! LET’S GET LIT ON LITERATURE!** ’ he wrote in big block letters with a blue dry erase marker.  
  
The whole class broke into giggles and Jesse lazily resumed his seat next to Lizzie who stared at him.  
  
“Seriously? Kiss-ass.”  
  
“No ass kissing, just smiles.”  
  
And Lizzie did smile, for nearly a whole minute until the voice of a female calling Jesse distracted her. The girl Lizzie recognized as one from the group of assholes she’d encountered on her first excursion to the cafeteria was looking over her shoulder alongside another female Lizzie couldn’t recall. Clad in a sweater and jeans she looked unlike the snobby punk girl Lizzie remembered her being. Her auburn hair was down to her shoulders and her genuine smile was pleasant, albeit a bit crooked.  
  
“Jesse, come sit over here, I want to hear about Lisa’s party. I’m so fucking pissed off that I had to miss it.”  
  
“Don’t get caught raiding your parents’ liquor cabinet and you won’t miss the best parties ever,” Jesse rocked back in his chair and Lizzie had to roll her eyes. He was one of _those_ people. The kind that could fall off their chair fifty times from leaning too far back and never learn from the outcome it had on their sore bottoms and twisted wrists.  
  
“I didn’t get caught, they apparently check their stash now. I don’t know when that started.”  
  
“Probably from the first time you got caught and they decided to give you a second chance that you gone muddled up.”  
  
“So what’s your secret, perfect son?”  
  
“I don’t steal from my mom,” Jesse grinned as if he’d roped her into the perfect plot, “ I steal from my friends who stole from _their_ parents’ stash.”  
  
The girl nudged her friend’s arm with a laugh and the two snorted. “Yeah, alright, mastermind, seriously come park your ass over here. Karp loves you, maybe the crush he has on you will rub off on me. My GPA could use a boost.”  
  
"Maybe if you quit skipping his classes you’d have a better rapport with him and better grades all around,” Jesse reasoned. “Or oral, maybe, I don’t know, I haven’t been down that road with Karp, but maybe that’s his thing.”  
  
“Jess,” the girl moaned with both disgust and laughter. “So are you moving up here or not? I can only hold this premium seat for so long.”  
  
Jesse set his chair back in an upright position and shook his head. “Nah, thanks, I’m sitting with my friend Lizzie. Biology class though, yeah? I’ll take the notes and you dice up the frogs real good.”  
  
“Yeah, alright,” she waved him off. “See you at lunch.”  
  
Jesse smiled and flipped open his notebook with one flick of his hand. He picked up his pen and was about to ink the first page when he paused and looked to Lizzie who had been staring. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” Lizzie quickly averted her gaze to her own notebook.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Mhm,” Lizzie nodded her head and smiled to herself. Once sure Jesse was more invested in his pen and paper than her current emotions Lizzie snuck another quick glance at Jesse’s friend seated ahead of them. She didn’t feel guilty over Jesse choosing to remain seated next to her. In fact, it was kind of nice to be the first person on his mind.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Approaching the house after school Lizzie smiled brightly up at the attic but Frank wasn’t peeking through the curtains like he normally did if he saw her walking alone. It didn’t faze Lizzie at first, because if Frank wasn’t in the attic window it usually meant he’d be waiting at the door for her.  
  
Frank wasn’t at the door either, and the temperature in the house was as uncomfortably cold as the weather outside.  
  
Lizzie closed the door carefully with a small click. Slowly she took off her scarf and boots as the eerie silence rang in her ears. For the first time since initially moving in she felt like she was in a haunted house.  
  
“Frankie?”  
  
Her voice was small, but the worry in her tone was heavy. She didn’t waste time climbing the stairs to her bedroom.  
  
“Frankie, where are you?” The panic in her voice grew, in the same way she’d cried for help in the basement those months ago. Only Frank was there to save her from the toppled over boxes that had caused her nightmares. This time Frank didn’t appear like magic.  
  
“Quit it, Frank, seriously,” her voice grew frustrated and choked. “I don’t like when you do this! What’s going on?”  
  
The door to the closet was slightly ajar as usual and Lizzie took in a breath of air to calm herself before crawling up the steps to the attic. Her teeth chattered when she reached the top and her breath came out in little wisps that danced away instantly.  
  
“Frank?” Lizzie’s voice sounded breathless and she peered through the dimly lit attic to find his figure curled up in the corner.  
  
“I’m here,” he responded in a voice barely above a whisper. It was the only thing he could manage before letting his head rest against the attic’s wooden floorboards.  
  
“What’s going on?” Lizzie’s voice shook. “What’s wrong with you?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Frank croaked and wrapped his arms snuggly around his stomach. “I feel...”  
  
“Sick?” Lizzie sat next to his him and rubbed a hand over his arm comfortingly.  
  
“Fuzzy,” he summed up weakly.  
  
“What does that even mean?” Lizzie snapped out of fear. Frank wasn’t supposed to be sick. He wasn’t allowed to be sick. He was dead. Dead people didn’t contract illnesses. Ghosts didn’t get the common cold or stomach flu, but Frank looked as if he was about to prove otherwise.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	29. Chapter 29

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Disenchanted" (piano instrumental) - My Chemical Romance_
  * _"Promises" - Def Leppard (This one in particular on repeat)._
  * _"Thunderstruck" (instrumental) - AC/DC_
  * _"Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) - Awolnation_



....................................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie frantically looked over Frank not knowing what to do. If he were a sick living human she would wrap him up in blankets and send him to bed. But Frank wasn’t alive and wrapping him up in blankets wouldn’t make any difference if he couldn’t produce body heat.  
  
“What does fuzzy mean?” she demanded more information. “I don’t know what the hell that means. Are you nauseous? Do you have a sore throat? I don’t know what’s happening and it’s freaking me out, Frank!”  
  
“Like…” he searched for the words before answering. “Do you know that feeling when you’re so sick that you stop feeling sick? And you find that one position- Maybe you just turn your head to the side slightly and you feel nothing? Fuzzy. You feel ok. But you don’t. You feel so shitty that you just choose not to feel it anymore.”  
  
No, Lizzie didn’t know, but she didn’t try to understand either. “And this just started now?”  
  
“No,” Frank admitted and used Lizzie’s shoulder as a brace to pull himself up into a sitting position. “It’s been happening in waves the last couple days. Just…not this bad. This is bad.”  
  
Lizzie chewed on her bottom lip nervously. “Are you starting to feel a bit better now?”  
  
“Bit.”  
  
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Frankie,” Lizzie’s voice shook with nerves. “I mean, you’re-“  
  
“Nothing,” he forced a tiny smile. “Quit freaking out, huh? You do nothing. Tell me about your day.”  
  
Lizzie wrapped her arms around his waist to offer some form of warmth before explaining the events of her day. How she had a class with Jesse, how she could actually stand a few of her teachers this term, how she managed to make it to and from school without getting any snow in her shoes. She dug up every miniscule event she could from her day and Frank hung on her every word until she reached a wall in her mind.  
  
“My mom’s going to be home soon,” she explained, “I should at least be in my bedroom or she’s going to wonder why I’m up here.”  
  
“Where’s your brother?” Frank asked. He was reluctant to move but did so slowly and with Lizzie’s help getting up.  
  
“He’s at Trent’s until 5:00. Frank, you look pale.”  
  
“Aren’t ghosts pale?” he joked half-heartedly.  
  
“You’ve never been pale like this. Normally you don’t look like a ghost at all. Not that you look like a ghost now, I’m just saying you look like a sick teenager. You’re really not feeling well.”  
  
“You know what’s funny,” Frank watched Lizzie take the first couple steps down into her bedroom, “I feel like sleeping.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie was distracted during dinner and picked at the same piece of mini corn on her plate several times before Olivia called her out on it.  
  
“Bad day at school, Izzie?”  
  
“It was alright,” Lizzie shrugged slowly and looked around the kitchen. Her mom had been on a cleaning spree over the holidays and everything looked exceptionally spick and span from the polished pots and pans to the perfectly aligned spices on the countertop. It felt unnatural and Lizzie wanted to jump back in time to when their countertops were dusty and everything was still a disarray of boxes. Because Frank wasn’t scaring the shit out of her by being ill back then.  
  
When she’d left him in her bedroom earlier he’d been lying on her bed next to her with his eyes shut. Not sleeping, he’d assured her, but _resting_. Lizzie had curled up next to him to him with her phone in hand, anxious to text Jesse about what was happening, but unable to do so until the boy got his hands on a new phone, or fixed up his broken one.  
  
“Did you get any homework yet?” Olivia tried to keep the conversation going.  
  
“It’s grade 12, of course I already got homework,” Lizzie explained. “One of my teachers’ first words were literally: ‘ _Your first assignment is_ ’… It sucks.”  
  
“Well you only have a few months left and then you’re done the high school days,” Oliva tried to point out the positive in Lizzie’s dreary world. “And then your life really becomes yours. You still planning to hit the road the day after you graduate? How’s the mansion looking?”  
  
This had Lizzie smiling rather sheepishly. “Yeah, about that…”  
  
Olivia gave a laugh and waved her off. “You’ll get your mansion one day. Just be sure you have a room for me to stay in when I visit!”  
  
“And a video game room,” Isaac added.  
  
“Get your own mansion,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes jokingly at her brother.  
  
A sudden thud coming from upstairs had everyone at the table at the edge of their seats.  
  
“What was that?” Olivia spoke first and made to get up.  
  
“Probably something of mine falling,” Lizzie eased Olivia’s mind. “I’ll go check. I had a bunch of my books sat really close to the edge of my bed… They probably slid off or something.”  
  
Olivia sat back down without a word and picked up her cutlery to finish off her meal.  
  
Lizzie made her way up the stairs and crossed her fingers that she wasn’t about to find a passed out ghost on her floor. It sure had sounded like deadweight hitting the floor, but Frank wasn’t in her bedroom when she glanced in, and she’d distinctly remembered closing the now ajar door. Rustling coming from across the hall had her moving to Isaac’s bedroom and sure enough there was Frank crouched over a box on the floor.  
  
“What’re you doing?” she whispered.  
  
“What the hell is all this?” Frank pulled colourful sashes out of the box curiously. “First your brother’s stash of porn and now bondage?”  
  
“Those are karate belts, you nimrod! What are you even doing now? You’re supposed to be sick!”  
  
“I’m feeling better. This box is heavy as fuck, what else is in here?”  
  
“Probably his weights and stuff,” Lizzie rolled her eyes now that the source of the noise had been discovered. Frank, the clumsiest ghost ever.  
  
Frank giggled more than he probably should and tied one of the karate belts around his forehead. “Your string bean, video game addict brother used to lift weights?”  
  
“I didn’t say it lasted long. Stop snooping through his stuff and put that back! He’ll be back up here soon, we’re almost done dinner! Go lie down.”  
  
“I’m fine!”  
  
“You were sleeping twenty minutes ago.”  
  
“I wasn’t sleeping – I don’t sleep. I can’t.”  
  
“Ok, fine, whatever, just put that away and get out of here before Ike comes back upstairs. I’ll see you in a bit.”  
  
“I’m keeping this,” Frank pointed to the green belt tied around his forehead.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Frank was not his peppy self in the morning when she’d left him, and had taken to curling up under the covers of her bed once she’d left the room for her morning shower. He’d stayed there, consuming what was left of warmth in the covers and still remained in the bed when Lizzie had to leave for school. Baffled by his fluctuating state of health Lizzie placed not one, but two hot water bottles under the covers with him and hoped she’d come home to a healthier ghost that afternoon.  
  
Lizzie didn’t know if Jesse was planning on walking to school that morning or not, but she took a chance and turned at the lights instead of heading straight.  
  
Luck was on her side when she spotted the person she was looking for bobbing along to his headphones in his own world until he noticed her.  
  
“Hey,” he voiced in surprise. “What’re you doing here?”  
  
“Frank’s sick,” Lizzie’s voice was shaky and pleading. “I got home yesterday and he was lying on the floor! I don’t know what’s going on and- Is he dying? He’s already dead! Ghosts don’t get sick, do they? He said he’s been feeling like this for a couple days! Why is this happening?”  
  
Jesse pulled his headphones off and motioned with his hands gently to calm her down. “You’re talking really fast, it’s difficult to keep up. Frank’s not feeling well? That’s weird. What kind of sick?”  
  
“Fuzzy.”  
  
“…And that means…?”  
  
Lizzie explained to Jesse what Frank had told her yesterday about feeling ‘fuzzy’. While it had made absolutely no sense to her, Jesse nodded along as if he’d been there and done that.  
  
“Alright, so he’s not feeling himself. Do you think it has anything to do with those tapes I gave you? Has he watched them?”  
  
“Well, yeah, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?”  
  
Jesse guided Lizzie forward by her shoulder so they wouldn’t be late for class, and as they walked Jesse explained his theory. “Ghosts have a crossing over point don’t they? A goal to accomplish before they can cruise on out of half living? And that’s what you’ve been trying to help him with by finding Daphne. Maybe-“  
  
“Are you telling me he’s getting sick because we’re getting close? Jesse that sounds like complete bullshit. How the hell does he know if we’re getting close or not. And maybe Daphne isn’t even the answer!”  
  
“What else would the answer be?”  
  
Lizzie sucked in the cold air and blinked back a sudden rush of tears. “What if we actually do find her?”  
  
“Isn’t that what we want?” Jesse asked carefully. “We want to set Frank free? He asked for it too, Lizzie. It’s the right thing to do.”  
  
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” Lizzie rubbed at her eyes.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Living in denial Lizzie watched Frank have good days and bad. Sometimes when Lizzie awoke in the morning he was already pacing around her room waiting for her initial alarm to ring so he could pounce at her if she chose to ignore and continue sleeping. Sometimes Lizzie awoke before her alarm but chose to creep on her ghost friend. It was odd watching Frank when he was oblivious to her stares. Often times he had headphones on while he moved around the room impatiently air drumming and guitaring in time with the current tune he was listening to. He drifted in and out of being transparent, translucent and solid but Lizzie couldn’t determine if he was aware of his changing image.  
  
That morning Frank was sat by her ever dying plant that defied all odds and continued to survive on its last round of photosynthesis thanks to the ghost who always saved it right before it shrivelled up. He wasn’t in a particularly upbeat mood and Lizzie knew then it was going to be a rough day. He hadn’t said much and mainly transfixed himself with the floor or the branches of the trees outside the window. When Lizzie felt like the click of her compact closing rattled the walls is when she spoke. “How you doing, Frankie?” she kept her voice gentle. “How’re you feeling?”  
  
“Like death,” he responded with a slow grin.  
  
“That’s not funny.”  
  
“It’s hilarious, what are you talking about?”  
  
“I’m talking about good humour, and that wasn’t classified as such,” Lizzie managed to poke herself in the eye with her eyeliner. “Fuck!” An exasperated sigh followed as she searched around in her kit for makeup remover to fix the botched job she’d done.  
  
“Smudge it,” Frank suggested from where he sat.  
  
“What?” Lizzie grumbled.  
  
“Smudge it.”  
  
“Smudge what?”  
  
“Your eyeliner, genius. Smudge it and then you don’t have to use your fancy little baby ass wipes. How are you so incredibly shitty at applying your own makeup?” Frank’s words came slower than usual and his steps had a stagger to them, as if he might fall over without concentration.  
  
“It’ll look stupid!”  
  
Frank scowled, “So did I look stupid then?”  
  
“What?” Lizzie was only half paying attention as she dumped all of her makeup out onto her bed. The mascara rolled onto the floor and a tube of lipstick bounced its way across the bed, losing its lid and leaving a stain of red against the sheets. “You always look stupid.”  
  
“Forget it, you’re not listening,” Frank backed away and returned to the windowsill. “Might as well be fucking invisible.”  
  
His words grabbed her attention and Lizzie looked over to the window where Frank had evidently vanished. “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just going to be late. What are you trying to say?”  
  
“I used to wear eyeliner sometimes.”  
  
Lizzie thought back to the photographs and videos she’d seen of Frank, and yes, there it was in her memory. A punk boy in ripped jeans and smudged eyeliner. Frank was a trendsetter. “I saw pictures. And no, you didn’t look stupid, I’m sorry. Show me what you know, ghost god of eyeliner.”  
  
Frank’s figure slowly began to appear to Lizzie, but it took her a bit to focus her eyes. Or maybe it took Frank longer to appear, it was hard to tell until he pressed a hand against his head and winced. “That hurt.”  
  
“What did?” Lizzie’s heart jumped in alarm.  
  
“Appearing. This. It’s ok now. Come here, I’ll show you.”  
  
Lizzie was hesitant but moved forward and allowed Frank to feel superior as he explained just how well finger-painting techniques applied for slapping on makeup. “Rub at your bottom lashes like you just woke up. Works like a charm. And if it doesn’t you just say you got into a fight, and either way you walk away looking kind of badass.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
When Lizzie came home from school Frank was sitting on her bed surfing the internet, proudly wearing the stupid belt he’d swiped from Isaac’s closet. A huge turnaround from that morning he cast a grin and eagerly motioned her over in order to show her the article confirming the rumoured news of a ‘ _Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens_ ’ film.  
  
“Oh my God, Jesse really has brainwashed you,” Lizzie buried her face into her pillow. Frank was so often on her bed that the sheets had taken on his scent of winter, but Lizzie didn’t mind. The scent of winter no longer reminded her of frostbitten appendages and runny noses.  
  
“Just submit, Liz,” Frank lay stomach down beside her. “My nephew has good taste. Picks out the best music, films, girls…”  
  
Lizzie felt Frank’s hand pet the back of her head gently and she turned her chin up to the side. Frank met her with a smile. “So cheesy.”  
  
“Why don’t you give him a shot? I think you two would be perfect together. You balance one another out, and that’s what makes a relationship work. He’ll remind you to lighten up and you can remind him to stay grounded.”  
  
“But-“ Lizzie wanted to argue that she wanted to be with no one more than him, but he caught on too fast.  
  
“Please find Daphne for me, Liz,” Frank’s eyes glossed over. His voice was broken and it twisted Lizzie’s insides up to see him so sad. “Please?”  
  
Lizzie reached up with one hand and pulled the stupid green karate belt off his forehead. “If I do, what’s going to happen to you?”  
  
Frank rolled onto his back. “The last thing I ever heard her say was ‘I’m sorry’, and she shouldn’t have been. I should have been! I should have been sorry. I was sorry, I just didn’t know how to fix things, but I know now. I know what I should have said and did. I’ve had fucking years to think of it and I need you to find her for me, Lizzie. I can’t leave this house. I can’t leave this fucking house!” Like a child throwing a tantrum Frank smacked his hands against the mattress in a fit with strangled sobs as he reached his breaking point. Angry and upset with himself, Lizzie had a hell of a time calming him down and wound up sat in his lap with her hands holding his arms down firmly.  
  
“I’ll find her for you,” Lizzie whimpered. “I’ll find her, just please stop! Stop it. What’s gotten into you?”  
  
“I found them,” Frank’s voice wavered.  
  
“Found what?” Lizzie loosened her grip when Frank’s icy cold skin burned hers. Thankfully he didn’t break free and let his body grow limp beneath her. His eyes refused to meet hers and he looked off toward her dresser as he struggled to explain exactly what had made him so reminiscent and upset.  
  
“Comics,” his voice squeaked. “I found the comics.”  
  
Lizzie closed her eyes over her own stupidity of forgetting to stash away comics after Jesse had returned them to her. She’d put them to the side under a couple other books that had been weighing down her backpack. She’d had every intention of hiding them elsewhere, but in true Lizzie fashion had forgotten to do so.  
  
Anger quickly took over and Lizzie narrowed her eyes down at Frank accusingly. “Well maybe if you weren’t such a major snoop this wouldn’t have happened!”  
  
“I was trying to find your fucking notebook to write you a fucking note,” Frank spat angrily. “How was I supposed to know you were hoarding comics by a close friend of mine? Depicting my life?”  
  
Lizzie’s bottom lip trembled and she moved off of Frank to let him sit up. “I didn’t think you’d want to see them. And the last page-“  
  
“Is bullshit,” Frank surprised Lizzie with his bold accusation. “Daphne was never the monster, I was. It’s all the more reason you have to find her for me. I need to know what happened to her.”  
  
“Even if I do find her, how is that going to help you? Is it enough to find out where she ended up?”  
  
“It’ll have to be,” he spoke desperately. “What other choice do I have?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Reluctant to voice what needed to be said Lizzie found it best to close her eyes and blurt it all out at once to be done with it. “We need to go to New York to find Gloria,” is what Lizzie immediately said to Jesse as soon as she saw him coming up the stairs whistling an old classic rock song.  
  
He didn’t hesitate in his response, and rather coolly replied with: “When do you want to go?” He came to a pause at his locker and leaned his shoulder against it, waiting patiently.  
  
“S-sooner the better, I guess,” Lizzie swallowed thickly. “I’m being pretty selfish leaving things at a standstill. He’s miserable and sick and-“  
  
“This weekend it is.”  
  
“This weekend?” Lizzie was caught off guard. She expected him to agree to it within range of the next month or so, but that same weekend? “I don’t know how-“  
  
“Leave that to me,” Jesse pushed off the lockers. “You just worry about packing for a couple days.”  
  
Lizzie nodded her head but Jesse didn’t seem to fully understand the seriousness of the situation. In all the adrenaline pumping through his body over the very idea of escaping to New York with his crush Jesse hadn’t yet comprehended what Lizzie had – the beginning of goodbye to Frank.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	30. Chapter 30

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"No Secrets" - Van Stephenson_
  * _"You Don't Want Me Anymore" - Steel Breeze_
  * _"Hair of the Dog" - Nazareth_
  * _"Shut Up and Dance" - Walk the Moon_
  * _"Rock Until You Drop" - Michael Sembello (from 'Monster Squad'...it just seemed fitting for the car ride)._
  * _"Gotta Get Away" - Black Keys_
  * _"You Might Think" - The Cars_
  * _"Ain't it Fun" (instrumental) - Paramore (Throwback to the 'My Dream Nightmare' road trip disaster)_



..............................................................................................................................................................................................

 

“Oh my God, Dad, I’m seventeen years old! And I’m going with his whole family! And it’s just for the weekend! Mom’s totally cool with the idea.”  
  
Darren peered into the camera sternly, “After the way you acted here, I’m amazed your mother would let you out of the house at all, let alone with some random punk boy.”  
  
“He’s not a random punk boy,” Lizzie sighed and glanced to the side where she could see Frank snickering into his hand. Lizzie knew telling her father she was going to New York with Jesse’s family for the weekend was going to encourage an interrogation, but she didn’t anticipate him being quite _this_ stubborn. He’d already tried to talk some sense into Olivia’s head, which proved well for Lizzie’s case, because Olivia and Darren weren’t exactly on the best of speaking terms yet and Olivia easily sided with her daughter, wanting nothing more than to further agitate Darren.  
  
Of course, Lizzie wasn’t actually going with Jesse’s family, but they’d built up the story to sound that way. She and Jesse were going to take advantage of the in-service their school was having on Monday to have an extra day in New York just in case things went awry. Lizzie’s story was that she had been invited by Jesse’s mother to come with them on a shopping trip to New York. It was difficult for Olivia to say no to such an offer, when she knew how much Lizzie adored the Big Apple. And having met Jesse, Olivia was inclined to say yes after the gentleman-esque impression he’d flattered her with.  
  
Jesse had told his mom that he was going on a snowboarding escapade with Nathan as a last hoorah for winter and while Nikki hadn’t bought the story in the slightest she’d let him off the hook so long as he checked in each day.  
  
“Dad, I’m going. That’s basically that.”  
  
“Elizabeth, this boy could be bad news.”  
  
“Any person _could_ be bad news, Dad. But Jesse’s my friend, he’s not bad news. And his mom’s going to be there anyway, if you’re so worried. And she’s probably ten times as strict as you. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m the bad news girl, so that should put your mind at ease.”  
  
“Who is this woman and why would she think you were bad news?” Darren switched gears instantly, making Lizzie inwardly grin to herself because it meant she was winning the battle. “If that’s how it’s going to be! You go on that trip and prove to her that you’re the opposite of bad news and her son should be so lucky to be friends with you.”  
  
“Yeah, whatever, Dad, lame.”  
  
“Are you sleeping in different hotel rooms?”  
  
“Yes, Dad.”  
  
“Are they in different hallways?”  
  
“Dad, you need to stop.”  
  
Darren heaved a sigh but caved in. “Ok, fine, but you better hold your end of the deal and call your mother ten times a day.”  
  
“Twice a day was the deal, but I applaud your effort.”  
  
“This is ridiculous, don’t you have studies to do on the weekend?”  
  
“I’ll get it out of the way Friday after school, stop being so teachery, you know I hate that!”  
  
Darren gave a drawn out sigh. “Fine, fine, I’m backing off. Just be careful.”  
  
“Deal.”  
........................................................................................................................................................................  
  
Lizzie hung up the phone and returned to her bedroom. She’d dragged out an old backpack of hers from a couple years back. There was nothing wrong with it other than being out of fashion. Looking at it now Lizzie had to shake her head at her younger self for being so stupid. Who in their right mind cared what her backpack looked like?  
  
Frank wasn’t anywhere to be seen and had been drifting in and out of her room since she’d arrived home from school. She had heard him giggling somewhere in the living room downstairs when she was talking with her father, but found no trace of him in her bedroom now.  
  
Jesse had told her to pack for one night, but Lizzie was packing for two nights seeing as Monday was a day off. The plan was to find Gloria on Saturday and Daphne on Sunday, but they’d given themselves Monday as a precaution. They didn’t even know if finding Gloria would lead them to Daphne yet and only had the hope that she might still be living in New York.  
  
“All packed?” Frank approached her from the closet where he’d obviously just climbed down from the attic. He held an envelope in his hand and Lizzie knew he’d been digging through her mother’s stationary.  
  
“No,” Lizzie snipped. She didn’t mean to be quite so abrupt, but it was difficult to find a balance in her many emotions. She found she was either one extreme or the other over going to New York. Either she was upset over the possibility of losing Frank, or she was pissed off at Frank for wanting to leave.  
  
“Whoa, alright, one of those moods,” Frank teased, but continued to approach her. He took a seat beside her bag and leaned into her line of vision. “Is this a PMS case or a GTFOOMFF case?”  
  
“What the hell is that?”  
  
“Premenstrual syndrome. Natural, typical, science. I grew up with a sister, I know the drill. Are you not informed? You should always be informed about your body, Elizabeth.”  
  
“The other one!”  
  
“Oh, you mean GTFOOMFF! Get the fuck out of my face, Frank. We could add an ‘S’ at the end for syndrome if you want, but that might be a bit too long an abbreviation.”  
  
“Well I’m not the first,” Lizzie informed, though she didn’t have an inkling as to why.  
  
“I have something I need you to do for me.”  
  
Lizzie full out glared at the grinning teenaged boy on her bed. “You’re kidding right? I’m kind of already doing you a favour, jackass, what more do you want?”  
  
“Your soul,” Frank deadpanned and wiggled the fingers on his right hand toward her dramatically.  
  
Lizzie hardly blinked and that’s when he turned the envelope over to her, “I need you to give this to Daphne for me, when and if you find her.”  
  
“What is this?” Lizzie snorted. Jealously had never been a good look for the human race let alone a teenaged girl harbouring feelings for a dead boy.  
  
“Unicorn tears and a cheeseburger,” Frank titled his head back up at the ceiling. “A letter, Lizzie, Jesus Christ. I’m not asking you to carve her heart out for me, I just want you to give her a note.”  
  
“From beyond the grave, Frankie? Don’t you think she’d freak out or- not believe it? Not everyone believes in ghosts you know.”  
  
“Tell her you found it amongst some of my stuff here. Easy enough, I could have written this when I was alive. I didn’t date it.”  
  
Lizzie begrudgingly took the note and crammed it into her bag, prompting a shout of protest from the ghost boy watching her.  
  
“Hey, hey! It’s not grade two macaroni art, huh? It’d be nice if it didn’t look like you mauled on it before turning it over. Maybe I should have given it to Jesse to hold.”  
  
“So why didn’t you?” Lizzie snapped. She zipped the bag closed sharply with all disregard for Frank’s lecture. “If he’s so much more reliable.”  
  
“Because I trust you,” he reached out to touch her arm. “What the hell is wrong with you?”  
  
“Why do you want to leave?” Lizzie shook his hand away.  
  
A silence fell between them making each passing second without words more and more stressful.  
  
“We’ve been through this before, Liz.”  
  
“No we haven’t! Maybe a bit – but not really! Things are pretty good! You have me and Jesse!”  
  
“Ok, I have you and Jesse,” the ghost played along in the exact way Lizzie associated with her own parents and teachers. Reverse psychology at its finest.  
  
“Are you always going to live here? That seems unlikely. You’re a teenager right now, you’re even younger than me, but in a few years you’ll be in your twenties. And you’re angsty- and fuck, so am I, but I think you and I both know you’re going to change. I want you to, you deserve that. Take advantage of life, Lizzie, and do everything I couldn’t. Travel, meet new people, move, move again, maybe get married, maybe have kids. I’m not going to be the reason you exclude yourself from living. It’s already starting to happen.”  
  
“I won’t,” Lizzie’s voice grew desperate and airy. Frank was starting to sound exactly like Jesse and that scared her. It meant Frank didn’t love her enough to stay. “I don’t! We can make things work, I don’t want you to go! I’ll always live here, and we can fix up the house and I can keep you updated about everything happening in the world outside and-“  
  
“Do you hear yourself?” Frank stopped her gently. “Do you hear the crazy you’re spewing right now? You’re talking about boxing yourself in. You’re talking about building your entire life around me, and I don’t want that. Daphne gave up everything for me and look what happened. She gave up on school, she gave up on her family, she ran away from home with me and wound up in miserable situations. You’re your own person, Lizzie. Don’t ever give that up for anyone. Not even a ghost boy.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Other than telling Lizzie to pack for their little trip to New York Jesse hadn’t relayed any other information, making Friday at school a mad scramble for Lizzie to ensure everything was in order and Jesse knew what the hell he was doing.  
  
When lunch rolled around Lizzie hurried to her locker where Jesse was putting his books away. “There you are,” she exclaimed. “I’ve been looking around for you all morning! Get your phone fixed! What’s happening tomorrow?”  
  
Jesse smiled to himself and dug into his pocket, producing a folded up piece of paper. “Lizzie Silver, don’t fret. All is in order like I said it would be. Here’s the plans for your review and approval.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes but unfolded the paper to read Jesse’s writing. More legible than Frank’s, it still wasn’t beyond challenging to make out certain words that he’d obviously scrawled out in a hurry. There wasn’t a whole lot planned out, but at least it gave her a starting point. Apparently they were set to leave at 7:30 in the morning, eat breakfast somewhere in New York and then track down Gloria’s shop.  
  
“Where are we staying there?” Lizzie flicked at the page. “Jesse this is a pretty shit itinerary.”  
  
“We’ll figure things out, don’t worry,” he explained.  
  
“I like when things are planned out! You said things would be planned out!”  
  
“It is! Nathan’s going to drive us to the station in the morning. We hop on a couple trains and then we’ll be in New York. To be fair, nothing can really be planned out once we get there. We’re sort of leaving things to fate finding Gloria and hopefully being tipped off to Daphne’s location. This could be a complete disaster, I’m not going to say it’ll work out.”  
  
Lizzie huffed and pocketed the paper. “This is going to be a wreck.”  
  
“Might be.”  
  
“Aren’t you usually stupidly optimistic?” Lizzie eyed Jesse curiously. “Are you ok?”  
  
“Even wrecks can turn into something great! Ever hear of finding lost treasures in a shipwreck?”  
  
“That was a lame attempt, but fine. 7:30 is early.”  
  
“You’re telling me! I’m working until three tonight.”  
  
“How do you function?”  
  
“Coffee and leftover candy canes lately. I’ll come by your place at 7:30 tomorrow with Nathan to pick you up.”  
  
“Does Nathan know why we’re going to New York?”  
  
“Yeah, well he knows I’m trying to track down some information on my uncle. I think he’s still a bit confused that you live in my uncle’s old bedroom, but Nathan’s almost always confused about everything, so that’s nothing new.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie finished zipping up her backpack with the final essentials she’d need for her trip to New York and placed it on the floor next to her bed so it was ready to grab on her way out the door. There was no way Lizzie was waking up before 7:00, so things needed to be set out and ready to grab as soon as her alarm rang in the morning.  
  
“Do you have the letter?”  
  
“Yes, I have your fucking letter, now, for the fifth time, shut up and let me sleep,” Lizzie complained. She’d been tucked up in bed for half an hour, but Frank was restless and continuously pacing around Lizzie’s bed, kicking lightly at her backpack like it would come to life and talk to him.  
  
A shiver, or what Frank would have called a shiver when he was alive, ran up his spine and he crawled onto the bed to be closer to Lizzie. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine, just shut up,” she yawned. “What’s wrong with you?”  
  
“I’m cold.”  
  
“You’re always cold.”  
  
“Yeah, but this is different. I feel it.”  
  
Lizzie opened her eyes and threw the covers over her best friend. “I should get you a heated blanket.”  
  
“Would that work?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Lizzie shrugged. “I’m not exactly a ghost scientist or whatever. Couldn’t hurt to try it out though.”  
  
Frank smiled slightly and allowed himself to snuggle closer to Lizzie’s body, sneaking all of her body heat and feeling better as a result. “How are you getting there tomorrow?”  
  
“The train,” Lizzie’s voice was growing drowsy and delayed. “Did they have subways when you were alive?”  
  
To this Frank took slight offence and scoffed. “I’m from the 1980’s not the fucking 1800’s! Do you think I got around in a horse and carriage? Yes we had subways! We also had trees and rocks and my great aunt? The one that never got hitched? She discovered fire when she was fooling around with two rocks and a stick. If you catch my drift.”  
  
Lizzie snorted laughter, “Well I don’t know! Did you take the train a lot?”  
  
“I had a car.”  
  
“People with cars still take the train.”  
  
“People with pets still eat meat, doesn’t mean we all have to.”  
  
Lizzie pulled the blanket up to her nose and nuzzled her head against her pillow. Frank was going on about taking the school bus as a kid, but it was difficult to concentrate when sleep was beckoning and you were at optimum comfort.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Unlike most days, Lizzie shot up in bed as soon as her alarm went off at 7:00 and it took her eyes a moment to adjust.  
  
“And here I thought I would have to drag your lazy ass out of bed,” Frank spoke from the window. Lizzie blinked hard, but couldn’t make out his image in the dimly lit room.  
  
“I can’t see you?”  
  
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Frank apologized, “I forgot. I was getting a headache.”  
  
Lizzie watched him appear, like a television heating up. It was weird to watch. “You’re like Princess Leia,” she yawned.  
  
“Goddamnit, did you find my gold bikini?” Frank grinned teasingly at the foot of her bed. “What the hell do you mean by that?”  
  
“R2-D2. Hologram – help us Obi-Wan.”  
  
Frank quirked an eyebrow and came around to her side of the bed, yanking her up by the arm with a laugh. “Alright, when you’re geeking out more than me I know you’re tired as fuck. Let’s get a move on. Are these the clothes you’re wearing?”  
  
Lizzie looked down at her outfit and frowned. “These are my pajamas.”  
  
“You girls and your pajamas.”  
  
“What did you sleep in?”  
  
“Underwear. Why waste money on clothes no one’s going to see? And don’t give me that bullshit: ‘But my significant other will’, because I’ll tell you now, your significant other wants you naked.”  
  
“I wear them for me,” Lizzie grabbed for her clothes off the bed, making it a bold point to flip her ponytail at Frank on the way out of the bedroom.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
  
“I could’ve slept for another five minutes,” Lizzie grumbled from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
Sat next to her on the step was an invisible Frank, who, unlike the grumpy teenaged girl holding her chin in the palm of her hand, was leaned back on his elbows. “He’s five minutes late, who the hell actually shows up on time except for serial killers and overbearing mothers?”  
  
The house was quiet and Lizzie could make out the ticking of the clock in the kitchen, so she and Frank had to keep their voices no louder than a whisper, because Olivia was awake in her bathroom upstairs. She’d woken up at 6:30, which Lizzie found ungodly, but very Olivia. She was just finishing her makeup and had called that she’d be down in a minute.  
  
“Do you have the letter?” Frank’s voice tickled Lizzie’s ear and she pulled away with a giggle.  
  
“Yes, yes,” she pushed back at air. Significantly colder air than the rest of her surroundings, but air nonetheless.  
  
Lizzie felt the cold air surround her body and shivered. “Please find her.”  
  
“I’ll try my best,” Lizzie whispered before startling over her mother’s quick footsteps coming down the stairs.  
  
“Oh good, you’re still here,” Olivia hurried out. “Now listen, Elizabeth, you better call me twice every day. Don’t go getting lost, and use nice manners. Please thank Jesse’s mother for me again for allowing you to tag along, that’s so nice of her!”  
  
“Yeah, ok,” Lizzie agreed nonchalantly and jumped up when the doorbell rang. “That’s probably Jesse, bye! I’ll call! Bye!”  
  
“Hold on,” Olivia laughed and held Lizzie back by the arm. “Let me say hello!”  
  
Lizzie really was no match in the argument. If Olivia was keen to say hello she was going to get her way. She just didn’t know if Jesse was prepared to deal with Olivia’s questions. With Olivia answering the door Lizzie peered out the window at the car parked upfront and blanched. She thought she could hear giggles bouncing off the walls around her when Olivia pulled the door open.  
  
“Hi, Ms. Silver!” Jesse smiled brightly. “Good early morning! How are you?”  
  
“Oh I’m fine, Jesse,” Olivia gushed. Lizzie wondered if Olivia was already picking out floral patterns for a wedding in her mind. “How have you been feeling?”  
  
“Right as rain, Ms. Silver! Is Lizzie ready? My mom’s just waiting in the car…keeping it warm, you know.”  
  
Olivia took a step out the door and Lizzie shot Jesse a panicked look, but the boy only smiled back. “Hello,” Olivia cupped her hands around her mouth to project her voice. Lizzie wanted the ground to swallow her whole she was so embarrassed. This time she and Jesse both heard the giggles bouncing around the room, giddy and hysterical.  
  
“I don’t know if she can hear me,” Olivia tutted. “Thank you,” she called loudly again and waved.  
  
Jesse made a frantic motion with his right hand and the car door opened, revealing a figure that was not at all the Nikki Lizzie had met. Too tall, too bulky, wearing shades in the dark and scratching violently at their head the figure waved as the Queen might.  
  
“Thanks again,” Olivia shouted and waved happily.  
  
Jesse made more frantic movements with his hands behind Olivia’s back and the figure, clearly confused, provided two thumbs up. Lizzie slapped a hand over her face, but smiled alongside Jesse when her mother turned back around.  
  
“Have fun, kids! And you remember to call, Lizzie! I mean it!”  
  
“I’ll make sure she does,” Jesse reassured and reached for Lizzie’s bag that was on the floor. “We’ll be back Monday evening.”  
  
“Bye, mom,” Lizzie pulled the bag away from Jesse to carry herself and marched out the door before anymore words could be exchanged.  
  
“Don’t look back or she’ll never let you leave,” Lizzie hissed to Jesse on the way to the gate. “I can’t believe she bought that. What’s he wearing?”  
  
The back door to the car was unlocked and Lizzie tossed her bag in first before crawling in after it. Empty potato chip bags littered the floor, and when the car jerked forward an empty can of Coke rolled out from under the driver’s seat. The car horn honked twice and the wigged figure that was Nathan stuck his arm out the window to wave once more as they drove off.  
  
“What the hell are you wearing?” Lizzie yelled out, but couldn’t help but let laughter slip.  
  
Clad in a platinum blond wig, shades and red lipstick Nathan looked like a backup dancer for Lady Gaga.  
  
“Why did you even have to dress up at all?” Lizzie continued to laugh. “We could have made something up about you having to drive us!”  
  
“That’s what I said,” Nathan agreed loudly and then shoved Jesse’s arm, “but this idiot insisted!”  
  
A slow grin took over Jesse’s neutral expression, “I couldn’t resist! You look gorgeous, Nathe! I’d bang you if you weren’t such a pristine lady waiting for marriage!”  
  
“Is this your car?” Lizzie asked a few minutes into the drive. Jesse appeared to be exhausted and kept his head tilted against the window for the most part, not saying a word and only occasionally playing with the switches on the radio of the old car.  
  
“Hell no,” Nathan blurted out a bit too loudly. Clearly she’d hit a sensitive chord with him. “This is my mom’s car!”  
  
“Take no offense, Lizzie,” Jesse peered back at her, “Nathan’s still mourning the loss of his baby.”  
  
“She was a beauty,” Nathan spoke dreamily.  
  
“She was a piece of junk,” Jesse stated the actual truth so nonchalantly that Lizzie broke into giggles as Nathan carried on about his perfect car that had been written-off after it rolled into a ditch.  
  
“What happened?” Lizzie enquired.  
  
“It was a deer,” Nathan explained lucidly.  
  
“A turtle,” Jesse corrected. “And turn here.”  
  
“Well I assume you were ok?” Lizzie tried to keep up with what was turning into a ridiculous story.  
  
“A few broken ribs and a concussion,” Nathan listed casually. “Landed me in a hospital a couple days.”  
  
“No it didn’t,” Jesse sighed, making it evident that this wasn’t the first time Nathan had tried to get away with the story. “You coincidentally had your tonsils removed the same week and only stayed overnight.”  
  
“Can’t I just tell it my way for once?” Nathan narrowed his eyes at Jesse briefly before staring back out at the road.  
  
“Well you have to admit I saved your ass that time you told that girl at the park it was an escaped elephant you nearly hit.”  
  
“I was drunk and so was she, it could have ended perfectly fine.”  
  
“And with an STD, probably.”  
  
It was nice to see that the two balanced each other out like friends should. Sometimes it was Nathan going along with or dragging Jesse out of crazy scenarios, when apparently, Jesse often did the same for his best friend. Lizzie had always figured it was Nathan keeping Jesse in line, but apparently she was wrong and Nathan was just as immature and silly as Jesse could be. Their friendship suddenly made a whole lot more sense.  
  
“Why are you still wearing the wig?” Lizzie spoke up at a red light another minute later.  
  
“Yeah, man, why _are_ you still wearing that godawful thing?” Jesse jumped in. “Still don’t know why you own that thing. Looks like it belongs in a 70’s hippy show.”  
  
“It’s my sister’s,” Nathan protested loudly and whipped the fake hair off his head. He smacked Jesse in the face with it in the process and scowled out at the road ahead. “She puts temporary highlights in it when she goes out clubbing.”  
  
“You know so much about hair,” Jesse rest his chin in one hand facing Nathan and bat his eyelashes teasingly. “Tell me more, babe, I like it when you talk slutty club attire.”  
  
“Shut up,” Nathan laughed. His hand came up and he shoved Jesse’s face away lightly.  
  
“Well I think you should put the hippy wig back on because without it that lipstick is fucking hideous on you,” Lizzie added.  
  
“Nah, that’s just Nathe’s face,” Jessed disagreed. “Doctors did all they could but it was to no avail. Still as fugly as a pig’s ass.”  
  
“So I can’t talk about temporary highlights without being made fun of but you can quote _Mean Girls_?” Nathan hit the brakes a bit too hard so that Lizzie flung forward and back at another red light.  
  
“Quote what?” Jesse responded calmly, as if they hadn’t just come to an abrupt stop. Lizzie thought he was serious until Nathan reached out and shook his best friend’s arm violently.  
  
“You’re such a dick, Jess!”  
  
“You’re still _fugly_.”  
  
“Well we can’t all roll out of bed looking like you. Did you know that, Lizzie? This guy never even has to style his hair in the mornings! Wakes up, skates off.”  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie confirmed simply. “Jerk.”  
  
“We spent the night together, she knows,” Jesse explained, but quickly realized how his words came off and opened his mouth to fix his error.  
  
“You didn’t tell me you two were _that_ serious,” Nathan accursed, and Lizzie thought he sounded genuinely hurt that his best friend hadn’t revealed a tidbit of information to him. Evidently nothing was kept secret between the two friends.  
  
“ _Not_ in that way,” Jesse all but shouted “Though she _did_ fall asleep on my lap,” he turned to look over his seat and wiggled his eyebrows at Lizzie. “But _not_ in that way either,” he pointed at Nathan before the taller boy could continue his rant about true friendship and hiding secrets.  
  
Lizzie face-palmed with a laugh. It wasn’t worth a battle. And Jesse did have annoyingly perfect hair.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Nathan dropped them off at the station and Jesse saluted his friend as thanks while Lizzie verbalized her gratitude over the fact that he’d gone all out with the makeup.  
  
“Are you kids going to be back at school Tuesday?” Nathan rolled the passenger window down to call after them.  
  
“Yeah,” Jesse swerved around on the heel of his shoe to answer “I’ll call you. Now no more questions. I’m trying to be mysterious and you’re cramping my style.”  
  
Nathan stared blankly and cast his gaze toward Lizzie. “You sure you feel safe being with this goon?”  
  
Lizzie smiled and shrugged. “No, but I guess I have to deal with it.”  
  
“Just don’t let him trick you into believing that he knows everything. He’s also the mastermind who forgot his little brother on the bus because something shiny out the window caught his eye.”  
  
“We were _twelve_ , and you were there too,” Jesse cut in loudly with his arms thrown out dramatically. “Would you let it go?”  
  
“Don’t you dare,” Nathan warned as Jesse bent over to pick up some snow.  
  
Lizzie’s eyes were watering from laughter. She knew Jesse and Nathan spent an ample amount of time together as best friends but she’d never witnessed them interact so much and the result was hysterical. Lizzie felt as if she was stood in the middle of a sitcom and imagined the credits would begin rolling as soon as Jesse inevitably whipped the snowball at Nathan’s mother’s car, which he clearly borrowed a lot, judging from the scent of McDonald’s lingering in the seats and all the debris scattered on the floor of it.  
  
The snow hit the closed window with a slushy smack and Nathan grinned against the glass in triumph. “It was a Pop-Tart wrapper,” he rolled the window back down all of an inch to shout through before driving off.  
  
Lizzie looked once at Jesse before following him to the train. Still early morning the station was busy with the unfortunate people who were stuck working on a Saturday.  
  
To prevent being separated in the crowd gathered Lizzie grabbed hold of the strap on Jesse’s backpack that he carried over his shoulder casually. He danced around people like an innate skill and they ended up near the front of the crowd to wait. It was significantly warmer inside the building and Lizzie’s fingers soon found their way to the zipper of her jacket to undo. Jesse appeared unfazed by the change in temperature most likely due to the fact that he had something against winter garments.  
  
They didn’t exchange conversation as they waited. Lizzie wound her thoughts around Frank back at the house and the last look he’d given her before vanishing. Unlike the times she’d threatened to find his friends he was not angry with her. This time he had a whole new look in his eyes that expressed excitement – letting Lizzie know she was doing the right thing, as much as it hurt.  
  
“Hey,” Lizzie grabbed Jesse’s attention as the train rattled loudly down the tracks. The platform shook beneath their feet and the swift movement caught Lizzie’s hair in a breeze. She quickly flipped her phone to the forward facing camera and held it in front of herself and Jesse. “Quick selfie!”  
  
Jesse didn’t protest and smiled his brightest smile at the screen, capturing an unintentional model-esque modern snap on his part that he no doubt acquired from his mother.  
  
Lizzie examined the picture as she dawdled forward with the rest of the crowd and smiled down at the glowing screen that was her first picture with Jesse as they set out to finish the story Frank had been dragged through mercilessly for years.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
They transferred at Journal Station Square just over twenty minutes later in order to catch a train to Manhattan, and it wasn’t long after their transfer that Jesse’s head slowly started to nod to the right sleepily. They’d snagged two seats next to each other amongst the line of tacky blue seats that lined the sides of the train. Hard plastic and more than likely urinated on at some point in their pitiful existence they weren’t the most comfortable things to sleep upon, but Jesse’s head kept nodding closer and closer to Lizzie’s shoulder, until colliding.  
  
“Sorry,” Jesse mumbled but didn’t budge.  
  
“Just don’t drool on my jacket,” Lizzie responded.  
  
“Don’t smack your head against my chin this time,” Jesse slurred almost incoherently and nuzzled his head against her shoulder more comfortably.  
  
Lizzie smiled weakly and preoccupied herself with her phone, opening Facebook to message Frank.  
  
 **Lizzie:** _We’ve been traveling for, like, 35 minutes and Jesse’s already conked out._  
  
A couple minutes later and she received a response from the ghost that didn’t have much else to do but wait at the computer for information.  
  
 **Frank:** _That kid works too many messed up hours._  
  
 **Lizzie:** _How’re you feeling?_  
  
 **Frank:** _I’m fine._  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Are you lying to me?_  
  
 **Frank:** _If I was lying, why would I tell you I was lying?_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Touché. But I hope you’re actually fine._  
  
 **Frank:** _I am, just don’t leave me in the dark on this one. I want to know what’s happening._  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Well Jesse isn’t drooling on my shoulder yet, so everything’s going as planned so far!_  
  
 **Frank:** _Awesome. Now, more importantly, what the hell was that my “sister” was wearing on her head when you got picked up earlier?_  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	31. Chapter 31

**(Lots! of) Musical inspiration for this chapter (I had writer's block):**

  * _"Rollercoaster" - Bleachers_
  * _"Work this Body" - Walk the Moon_
  * _"Downtown" - Neil Young_



[Gloria (This is how I imagined her in 'My Dream Nightmare')](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImbMkAOrMfs) gets her own playlist because strong female singers of the 70's and 80's have always influenced how I write her character.

  * _"Energy" - Fire Tiger_
  * _"Shadows of the Night" - Pat Benatar (Significant to where Gloria was left in 'My Dream Nightmare')_
  * _"Rebel Girl" - Bikini Kill_
  * _"Spiderwebs" - No Doubt_
  * _"Seven Wonders" - Fleetwood Mac_
  * _"Dangerous" - Roxette_
  * _"Suffragette City" - David Bowie (RIP)_
  * _"Black Cars" - Gino Vannelli_
  * _"The Best" - Tina Turner_
  * _"I Wanna Dance with Somebody" - Whitney Houston_
  * _"Kiss Me Deadly" - Lita Ford_



Hotel Night

  * _"Beautiful Life" - Nick Fradiani_
  * _"Go All the Way" - The Raspberries_
  * _"The Kid is Hot Tonight" - Loverboy_
  * _"Make You Mine" - Benny Tipene_



...........................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Jesse woke up a few minutes before their stop when Lizzie moved her shoulder. She almost felt bad for it, because Jesse was obviously tired and Lizzie could relate to that on all levels, starting with the cringe worthy cry of her alarm clock every morning.

  
“Are we almost there?” was the first thing he asked after rubbing sleep from his eyes and taking full advantage of Lizzie’s hospitality by nuzzling his head back against her shoulder.  
  
“Two more stops?” Lizzie guessed. She hadn’t been counting stops, but relying on the monotone woman over the intercom announcing the stops and also warning people to ‘stand clear of the closing doors, please’. Regardless of how many times the voice acknowledged safety procedures there was still two or three in the bunch who managed to get an appendage jammed between the doors. The train they were on was providing all the problematics today when one teenager got her bag stuck in the doors and a grown man tried to cram his way through the closing doors, to which he was rewarded with a fine physics lesson. Again, sadly, Lizzie could relate.  
  
After the next stop Jesse leaned down to pick up his bag and stood up. “We’re next,” he explained and waited for Lizzie to follow him to the doors.  
  
They made it onto the platform with all appendages and Lizzie paused to dig her toque and mittens out of her bag. When Jesse didn’t even bother to zip his jacket up she grew aggravated. “Where’s your hat? Zip up your jacket!”  
  
“I didn’t bring one,” Jesse responded with a shrug, but did follow orders and zipped his jacket up.  
  
“Why wouldn’t you bring a hat and gloves,” Lizzie lectured, but produced an extra hat and gloves from her bag. It had been a second thought when she was packing her things yesterday. If she knew anything about Jesse now, it was that he wasn’t prepared for winter. So she’d swiped some items from her brother.  
  
“Really?” he pointed to the logo of a football team printed on the toque. “They suck so hard!”  
  
“They’re keeping your head warm, so shut up and be thankful,” Lizzie snapped.  
  
“Yeah, ok, thanks,” he bumped arms with her. “You’re almost as bad as my mom though, I’m just throwing that out there so you’re aware.”  
  
“Can we please just go find Gloria?” Lizzie wandered ahead briskly, forcing Jesse to jog to catch up.  
  
“Why Lizzie Silver, we have an itinerary to follow,” Jesse mocked shock and produced a second copy of the same scrawled writing she’d tossed in the trashcan yesterday afternoon when she got home from school. “See,” he pointed confidently, “breakfast!”  
  
“Fine, breakfast,” Lizzie dismissed and climbed the stairs as quickly as people in front of her would allow. “Where are we eating breakfast?”  
  
When there was no response Lizzie looked over her shoulder, ignoring the huffs and glares of people behind her trying to get to their shifts on time. Instead she looked between bodies for the boy who was also acting as the tour guide for the miniature trip. Without success of spotting him from the stairs Lizzie made her way back down, stepping on someone’s foot and smacking her hand against a woman’s leather purse. “Sorry! Sorry!” Lizzie grit her teeth, gearing up to let Jesse have a piece of her mind.  
  
Jesse was just off to the side, and Lizzie had been oblivious to the music echoing off the walls of the underground until she saw Jesse bobbing his head to the guitar and drums of two street performers busking for money against the tagged walls of the grimy station.  
  
As Lizzie approached he began to clap along with the lively music enthusiastically. More so than the other passerby’s who would pause to drop a few coins into the guitar case and move on.  
  
“What are you doing?” Lizzie spoke over the music once she was at his side.  
  
Jesse turned to her unfazed that they’d been separated, considering he didn’t have a phone. It started with clapping and stomping his feet against the ground before he full out began dancing like a fool – the biggest grin on his face and his eyes fixed on Lizzie’s.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?” Lizzie exclaimed again loudly. “You lunatic! This isn’t some cheesy musical, let’s go!”  
  
Jesse didn’t respond in the manner she thought he would. He didn’t even answer in words as he grabbed for her hands. Then it was just Lizzie holding Jesse’s hands awkwardly as he jumped around and swayed.  
  
Some people stared at them both the way Lizzie eyed Jesse as if he’d lost his mind. Other people found him a pure delight and both laughed good naturedly and smiled as they walked by to the stairs.  
  
“Well with that attitude of course cheesy musicals are underrated,” Jesse stopped long enough to lecture. “No one banned dancing like a dork in public so take advantage while you can! You’re in New York, Lizzie! New York!”  
  
The tiniest of smiles lifted at the corners of Lizzie’s mouth while Jesse let her gloved hands go and began dancing on his own again. She was in New York. She was in New York with her friend, in the middle of a subway station, surrounded by a crowd of people waiting for her to dance to the music bouncing off the walls. Real life didn’t get any closer to being a musical.  
  
Dragging her feet in a side step fashion pathetically to the beat of the quick paced music Jesse grinned and grabbed her right hand, twirling her around in the same manner he had in her bedroom a couple months ago when the three of them had been lip synching and goofing off. Only this was in public now and Lizzie turned red when she became blatantly aware of a woman commenting to another.  
  
“You’re dancing,” Jesse’s chipper voice and excitement cut through any ill feelings. “In New York!” he added.  
  
“This is stupid,” Lizzie bit back laughter.  
  
“You’re still doing it!”  
  
“Only so you don’t have to look like a moron on your own.”  
  
Jesse’s smile grew tenfold and he paused only briefly to bow to Lizzie. “Too kind, too kind. Check out the best part now.”  
  
Lizzie continued her side to side step with her eyes set on Jesse’s next moves. With no hesitation and lacking any inkling of having a self-conscious that most people were snuffed out by, he approached one of the older women who had been chatting with her friend. He offered his hand more elegantly than the grab he had Lizzie’s hand. At first the lady waved him off with a laugh but it didn’t deter his confidence and he quickly did the same to the friend who accepted.  
  
Another train had evidently arrived judging by the growing crowed that stopped to observe the scene. Jesse moved slower with the elderly lady than he did with Lizzie, but he twirled her around and cheered when the shy old woman who’d turned him down originally came in to join her friend with laughter.  
  
Jesse snuck away from the two friends who continued to dance. His movements were quick and agile as he pulled a girl and a man in his mid-twenties into the mix. Anyone who looked remotely interested he tugged forward and coaxed into ridiculous dance movements before hopping back over to Lizzie with an accomplished look on his face.  
  
“Can we go now?” Lizzie laughed.  
  
“Hold on,” he dug into his pockets and pulled out a couple dollar bills and a few coins to toss into the guitar case. Lizzie followed suit and did the same. The guitarist nodded his head to Jesse gratefully and then both teenagers snuck out of the subway party that continued despite the charming young man having left.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie had been expecting to eat at a Starbucks, but Jesse decided a hole in the wall diner was the place to be, and of course he was right. The pancakes were fantastic and though the coffee wasn’t the greatest cup in the world, it was strong, and just what both needed so early in the morning.  
  
They didn’t speak much throughout breakfast, but Lizzie assumed it was because Jesse was recharging after his lack of sleep and stint in the underground. He stared blankly at his cup of coffee and made intricate circles in the liquid with a stir stick.  
  
As Jesse recharged, Lizzie pulled out her phone.  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Jesse just hosted a party in the station. The whole place was dancing._  
  
 **Frank:** _Obviously. You’re basically hanging out with Ferris Bueller, Cameron._  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Ha. Ha. I’m not Cameron._  
  
 **Frank:** _…_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Fine._  
  
 **Frank:** _You’re the epitome of Cameron in real life. Did you get mugged yet?_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _Not that I know of, but some old lady’s hands were getting pretty damn close to the back pockets of Jesse’s jeans._  
  
 **Frank:** _Old lady groping. Hot. Jesse’s a lucky bastard._  
  
“Can I get you anything else?” the waitress serving them sauntered over to collect the empty dishes at their table. “Another coffee for you?” she asked Lizzie and took a quick look over to Jesse who had fallen asleep on the table with his head resting on his folded arms.  
  
Lizzie glanced at the time on her phone . They really should be starting their search for Gloria, because they didn’t know what to expect. On the other hand, Jesse was no use as a walking zombie, so Lizzie made her decision and nodded her head to the waitress. “Yes, please.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
It was nearing 11:00 AM when Lizzie and Jesse set back out on their expedition. Like an excited puppy Jesse would pause at every shop window they passed by to look in and comment on. Lizzie was the big fan of New York, but Jesse was giving her a run for her money with all his enthusiasm.  
  
“If you keep stopping like this we’re never going to find her,” Lizzie huffed when Jesse stopped in his tracks to look into a trendy shop with some high class prices attached to the raggedy looking clothes. It wasn’t like the clothes were Jesse’s style, and he obviously couldn’t afford them anyway, so Lizzie didn’t see why he needed to waste time looking.  
  
“Lizzie,” Jesse threw his hands up into the air. “We’re in New York! How many times do I have to say it? We’re here on a top secret mission, but that doesn’t mean we can’t admire things along the way.”  
  
“Like Pop-Tart wrappers?” Lizzie raised her eyebrows mockingly.  
  
“Especially Pop-Tart wrappers! We’ll get there, don’t worry so much. Hey, look over there! Records! Come on!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Get there they did, but not until later in the afternoon after Jesse had pulled Lizzie into several stores and turned them around in the wrong direction twice. Lizzie was beginning to have her doubts over his navigational skills.  
  
She refused to whine about how her legs hurt from walking. She tried to keep everything in perspective instead. She was hopefully about to meet Frank’s best friend. Yes, he was close with all the others they’d met as well, but this was his very _best_ friend. Gloria was someone Frank had shared late night secrets with and relied on when there was no one else to rely on.  
  
“It should be around here somewhere,” Jesse explained as he came to a halt. Crowds of people moved around them, seemingly unbothered by the sudden disruption in their path. Lizzie probably would have cussed and grumbled about it for the next three minutes if someone got in her way, but these were real New Yorkers who lived this chaos on a daily basis.  
  
Lizzie whipped her head back and forth as they moved forward, studying the store names around them until one stood out to her. “Over there,” she reached out and gripped Jesse’s sleeve tightly before ducking out of the crowd. She would have rushed out into traffic had a passing cab not honked at her as it flew by. The driver leaned out the window cursing loudly about careless teenagers and Lizzie stared after him in a daze.  
  
“Are you alright?” Jesse startled and grabbed hold of her wrist as if she might try darting back out into traffic again. “You could’ve been hit by a car! I get that it’s exciting and all, but what are you, three years old? Man. I can’t take my eyes off you for a second. And here you are complaining about me!”  
  
“Shut up,” Lizzie blushed red and pointed toward the salon again. “But that’s Gloria’s shop! We found it! We’re about to meet his best friend! What do you think she’s like?”  
  
“Probably bitchy and stubborn, just like him,” Jesse teased and gave a shrug. “Let’s go find out. But stop, look and listen first, Lizzie.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
It wasn’t a very big shop and the lettering on the sign could use some new paint, but what it didn’t lack was character – from the gothic print of the sign to the purple door and fashion forward mannequins in the windows modeling outfits Lizzie wouldn’t necessarily purchase for herself, but found stunning none the less. She paused from entering the building long enough to read the folded cardstock in front of the mannequins that informed curious passerby’s of the garments designed by none other than Gloria Glassen herself.  
  
“Hold on, hold on,” she gushed to Jesse and pulled her cell phone out to snap a picture with her phone. The first shot turned out blurry and she cursed before attempting another.  
  
“Why are you taking pictures?” Jesse inquired at her side, smirking over Lizzie’s reaction to the blurry shot she took. It didn’t matter how many times he’d heard it before, it was always amusing when Lizzie swore.  
  
“For Frankie to look at,” she muttered and shoved her phone back into her pocket. “That way he can see all the stuff we’re seeing. I know he doesn’t really want to, but I think he’ll change his mind when he finds out pictures exist. I’m going to ask Gloria if she’ll be in a picture with us.”  
  
“…What about the others we’ve already met? I don’t recall you whipping out your phone for their close-up.”  
  
“I guess we’ll just have to visit them all again then.”  
  
“Aw man,” Jesse whined, “even Bob? I get the feeling he won’t like having you stick a camera in his face.”  
  
“He can deal with it. It’s happening whether he likes it or not.”  
  
Jesse shrugged and held the door open for Lizzie to step into the store first. The warmth and sweet aroma of perfume wrapped around her like a hug, and Jesse was just stoked to find free mini pastries at the door.  
  
The boutique was filled with various pieces that reflected the outfits in the window and jewellery took up a small section near the checkout desk. An iPod was connected to a small stereo that was evidently hooked up to the speakers around the boutique, playing music not exactly typical for a fashion shop, but more rock, grunge and punk as opposed to pop, country or even soft meditation tunes.  
  
It took both Lizzie and Jesse a moment to spot the much talked about Gloria Glassen near the back of the shop, applying makeup to a woman probably in her mid-twenties. She, like the rest of Frank’s friends, would be in her early forties now, but was youthful in her features, much like Gerard and Mikey. She wore heavy dark makeup, but for her complexion it worked seamlessly.  
  
She was in the midst of telling a gossipy story by the sounds of it, and did so with the reminiscence of a thick Jersey accent. “Make that douchebag pay tonight is what I’m saying,” Gloria advised and swept blush across the customer’s cheekbones. “You look gorgeous.”  
  
“You’re the best, Gloria,” was the response from the mid-twenties woman who examined her finished makeover in the mirror. “All I’ve done the last couple weeks is wallow on the couch.”  
  
“Well this is your night, sweetie,” Gloria smiled and followed her customer to the counter where she noticed Lizzie and Jesse standing awkwardly at the threshold of her store. “I’ll be right with you,” she greeted and danced her hand around in the air. “Feel free to look around and help yourself to a cupcake.”  
  
Jesse didn’t need to be told twice and snatched up one of the frosted cakes. “Hell yes!”  
  
“You’re a dork,” Lizzie rolled her eyes and moved further into the shop, examining a top more closely, but finding it difficult not to stare at Frank’s best friend as she finished the transaction with her seemingly frequent customer as they hugged tightly and bid farewell until next time.  
  
“Alright, I’m yours,” Gloria made her way across the floor to them. Clad in tight black skinny jeans, some painful looking shoes and a revealing top she struck Lizzie as being a very bold and confident woman who banished ageism. “How can I help you?”  
  
Lizzie was surprised by how accepting Gloria was over the fact that two teenagers had stumbled into her store. It wasn’t exactly meant to be a place for teenagers to shop, nor did either of them look like the kind of people who would ever even set foot in a shop like Gloria’s. Yet they were greeted with the same respect she probably treated every person who ventured into her territory.  
  
“These cupcakes are amazing,” Jesse enthused, and Lizzie narrowed her eyes on him – embarrassed for them both that he’d botched their opening statement with one dedicated to a decorated muffin.  
  
“Aren’t they?” Gloria agreed. “There’s this little bakery a couple blocks down and their head baker is this little old man with the sweetest soul. I gave him a kiss on the cheek once and now he gives me free cupcakes every time I stop by.”  
  
“Do you think he’d give me free cupcakes if _I_ gave him a kiss on the cheek?” Jesse joked and had Gloria laughing.  
  
“Cute. Are you visiting from Jersey?”  
  
“How’d you know he was from Jersey?” Lizzie piped up in surprise.  
  
“Takes one to know one,” Gloria replied. “Jersey accents help too. You aren’t from Jersey.”  
  
“No, I’m from Dakota, but I moved to Jersey this year and the two of us are just visiting right now. We actually came to see you.”  
  
“To see me? What do I owe this surprise visit?” She led them toward the front counter, excusing herself when the phone rang and held up a finger apologetically that she needed to take the call.  
  
In the meantime Jesse grabbed for another cupcake and Lizzie examined the decorations behind Gloria’s desk more closely. A certificate on the wall indicated she had in fact graduated from cosmetology school, and the collection of little black cats and jack-o-lantern trinkets indicated Gloria might have a bit of a fascination with Halloween. That was, until, a shudder racked through Lizzie’s body when she realized what the trinkets were surrounding and she shoved Jesse’s arm to get him to focus on what she was seeing.  
  
Frank had been heartbroken that everyone he’d ever loved seemed to pretend he’d never existed in the first place. He’d been devastated to learn that he wasn’t brought up in subject, or even talked about to his own nephews. Gloria had done her part redeeming for almost everyone in that aspect with her mini collage of two kids caught in a timeline that ended too soon and made bold by the little note tucked into the corner of the frame that read: ‘I Fucking Miss You’. Lizzie had never seen profanity used in memorials, but for Gloria and Frank’s relationship it seemed an affection few would probably understand, and was perfectly fitting.  
  
It was then that Lizzie and Jesse realized the amount of pictures Gloria actually had tacked up on the wall, much like a teenager would decorate their room with posters of their favourite movies or bands, Gloria had tacked up photographs of her life, but unlike Gerard, these included both her old friends and new friends. Lizzie wanted so badly to snap a picture for Frank, because it was a timeline of Gloria’s life, and each snapshot on the wall highlighted a moment she didn’t want to forget. A party here, a graduation there, and even a trip to, what looked like, London, England. All the pictures were interesting, but it was the pictures of the old gang, including Daphne, that had Jesse and Lizzie’s smiles’ grow tenfold.  
  
Gloria hung up the phone and followed the gaze of the teenagers back to her photographs. “I live above this place, but I’m down here so often that I keep my pictures here instead. It’s nice though, because I get to share them with everyone who stops by.”  
  
“You have pictures of Frank,” Jesse pointed out while Lizzie struggled to find her own voice.  
  
“Hm?” Gloria glanced over her shoulder to the collage. “Oh, yes. Of course.” She smiled sadly at the photographs before turning her attention back to the teenagers. “How do you know him? Most people assume he’s my brother.”  
  
“He was your best friend,” Lizzie corrected. “Sometimes that’s even more than being siblings.”  
  
“I’d agree with that…” Gloria answered, though a bit hesitant and obviously curious over how the two teenagers in front of her knew Frank, let alone her relationship to him.  
  
Lizzie nudged Jesse’s side to cue him in and the boy instantly blurted out the same information he’d become accustomed to explaining. “Oh, I’m Frank’s nephew. Nikki’s my mom.”  
  
Gloria took a step back as if his words had physical impact. Her eyes grew glassy and wide and for a moment Lizzie thought for sure they were about to be thrown out of the store. But then Gloria quickly moved forward and cupped Jesse’s chin in her hand. “You are, aren’t you?” she gushed with a happy tearfulness to her words. “You are Frankie’s nephew! I recognize these sharp features, you inherited a lot from your mom. I heard through the grapevine she had a baby. You must be fifteen? Sixteen now?”  
  
“Seventeen,” Jesse’s cheeks flushed pink. After all, this was a strange woman feeling up his face as if she were about to work a masterpiece painting all over it. “Eighteen in March…”  
  
“You’re a good looking kid, you must have got it good from both sides of your family.”  
  
Jesse shrugged uncomfortably. “Guess so. Dad’s always going to kind of be a slime ball in my eyes anyway.”  
  
“Oh,” Gloria nodded in understanding and let the subject slide. “And you have a sister too don’t you?”  
  
“A brother, actually. Aaron. Though I’m pretty sure mom was hoping he’d be a girl, but we don’t bring that up.”  
  
Gloria gave a small laugh and ran her hand down Jesse’s arm affectionately. “Well it’s great getting to meet you. Give me a hug, cutie.”  
  
Jesse’s body tensed, but he followed through with the request that obviously meant so much to Gloria who squeezed tightly and refused to let go for a solid ten seconds. Lizzie watched the moment from a couple feet away, piecing together question after question she wanted to ask Gloria, who appeared to be outgoing and willing to share her life with others. It was just a matter of making sure the questions asked didn’t go to waste and that she wouldn’t bottle up her secrets like Gerard was so keen on doing.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Gloria closed down the shop early that afternoon and both Lizzie and Jesse waited patiently while she counted out her cash drawer, locked up the store and took out the garbage.  
  
“Would you two mind blowing out all the candles,” she pointed to the few tea lights scattered around the place. Lizzie thought it was a pretty stupid idea to have so many candles around garments, perfumes and hair supplies, but Gloria either wasn’t aware of the dangers or just didn’t give a damn that her boutique could go up in flames in seconds. “And shut off the music,” she called over her shoulder before letting the backdoor close.  
  
“This place is pretty cool,” Jesse commented as he fiddled with the stereo and Lizzie carefully blew out the candles.  
  
“It’s a fire hazard,” she responded.  
  
“Come on, Lizzie, just over half an hour ago you thought this place was the best store ever.”  
  
“It is, but it’s a fire hazard,” she muttered and paused by the candles around Gloria’s little tribute to Frank. Her fingers itched to snatch a couple of the photographs, but she settled on snapping a picture with her phone instead.  
  
“What scent is this?” Jesse asked over the drifting scent of the candles. “Blueberry?”  
  
“…Vanilla?” Lizzie raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a sense of smell at all?”  
  
“Ah, man, all pretty scents smell the same to me. Blueberry was pretty close though, I think.”  
  
The backdoor to the shop opened again and Gloria made her way back in with a huff. “Winter can end anytime soon,” she giggled and motioned toward the door. “I’m done with it and so is my hair. You have really healthy hair,” she pointed to Lizzie, “what do you use in it?”  
  
“Shampoo.”  
  
“And I use molasses in mine,” Gloria rolled her eyes. “I meant the brand, sweetheart.”  
  
“Nothing all that special.”  
  
Gloria tapped a manicured finger against her teeth, “Uh-huh, well I’ll find out before you go,” she winked. “I think that’s about it for down here, do you two have dinner plans this evening? No? Great. Come on up, I’ll feed you.”  
  
Jesse had only just opened his mouth to respond, but realized Gloria had already answered for him so gave a small laugh and shrugged toward Lizzie. “Sure! Thanks!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The stairway leading up to Gloria’s humble abode was narrow and a bit dingy. The walls were a yellowing white and the stairs were a rickety brown colour. It screamed an alternative lifestyle, and that’s the attitude Gloria exuded with the way she dressed to the way she carried herself; a vibrant, saucy, take no shit from no one woman, who obviously had a plethora of life experience to share with whoever she deemed worthy of her time.  
  
Gloria’s heels clicked loudly against the stairs and the rattling of her keys in the door was practically amplified to Lizzie and Jesse’s ears. The door to Gloria’s place was plain and boring – the same colour as the walls and with a brass doorknob that didn’t look at all secure, but Lizzie assumed Gloria was the type of person to sleep with a baseball bat next to her bed, if not a rifle. If anyone even breathed on the door to her house they’d be bludgeoned to death by a petite woman with a fierce temper.  
  
“Just throw your things on the couch and kick off your shoes,” Gloria’s voice broke the silence. She too dropped her bag onto the floor and headed to what both teenagers assumed was the kitchen. The upstairs to the store was small and a bit scarce in the way of sentiments – as Gloria had pointed out downstairs. Her life remained on the walls and shelves of her store, and upstairs was simply meant to eat and sleep in. Sentiments were slim but a television was mounted on the wall and a small bookshelf in the corner held what looked like dozens of fashion books and magazines. The place was decorated with a white faux fur rug against the dark hardwood floors and a fancy looking chandelier hung from the ceiling – hinting that Gloria was well off and not as deprived as the rickety stairs and yellow-white walls suggested.  
  
“Make yourselves at home,” Gloria called from the room she’d disappeared into, “I’m just scrounging together some snacks to tide us over until dinner. We’ll order in, what did you want? I’ll judge you if you don’t choose pizza.”  
  
“Who would pick anything other than pizza?” Jesse protested. “There’s some sick people living on this planet.”  
  
Lizzie was hardly tuned into the conversation as she paced around the small lounge trying to better gage who Gloria was. She’d met Frank’s other friends, but something about Gloria meant so much more than her encounter with the others. A glimmer on the shelf caught Lizzie’s eye and she stared at it for several long seconds before it dawned on her that the glimmering item was a silver frame with a photograph of Gerard and Mikey in it. The picture didn’t strike Lizzie as anything odd until she examined the woman between them and took a step back to tug on Jesse’s arm. “Jesse, look!”  
  
Leaning over her shoulder Jesse examined the same photograph that had startled Lizzie. “Yeah? Young Mikey, Gerard and Gloria, what’s so weird about that?”  
  
“She’s wearing a wedding dress,” Lizzie hissed. “Did you know she was married? Who did she marry?”  
  
“Found my wedding picture?” Gloria chimed in with a giggle. She held a silver platter of soda, making a greater production of snacks than Lizzie had ever seen anyone do, aside from Jesse’s Christmas gift to her.  
  
“I didn’t realize you were married,” Lizzie bemused.  
  
“Was,” Gloria continued to laugh and waved off the picture. “It’s more a joke than anything else these days. We were married for all of one month. It was a ridiculous idea, I still don’t know what actually possessed us to do it. It was at a really rough point in all our lives. At the time it seemed like the perfect solution.”  
  
“Gerard didn’t mention anything about it,” Jesse pointed out before Lizzie could.  
  
“Not Gerard,” Gloria spoke seriously. “I married Mikey.”  
  
Lizzie’s jaw just about hit the floor, and Jesse stumbled over air, just catching himself before a disastrous fall. To Gloria the entire scene was one of the funniest she’s seen in a long while and she turned red in the face from laughter. “I take it you’ve both met the youngest Way brother. I’m just teasing, it was Gerard. He was my high school sweetheart. We’d been through so much together that we assumed marriage would be a piece of cake. But I’ll tell you right now, living in your husband’s parents’ basement isn’t all it’s glammed up to be.”  
  
It was a complete 180 from the amount Gerard had been willing to share with them about his teenaged life, and Lizzie brought her fingers to her mouth to chew on her nails anxiously until she was startled by the gentle slap she endured to her wrists from the spunky woman in the room.  
  
“Don’t chew your nails,” Gloria lectured as she clacked her way back into the kitchen, “they’ll get flimsy.”  
  
Jesse snorted laughter and was the first to sit down. Immediately he was helping himself to the snacks Gloria had set out and only nabbed Lizzie’s attention by flicking a jellybean at her. It bounced off her head and landed on the faux fur rug. If Gloria was in the room to see it Lizzie was sure she’d flip out.  
  
“How are you so calm?” Lizzie whispered hastily and practically sat down in her friend’s lap in order to be heard. “Gloria and Gerard were married!”  
  
“…They’re not anymore?” Jesse shrugged listlessly. “They were married for a month, not five years. They were just teenagers making a mistake. It’s happened before and it’s going to continue until earth meets its end. If aliens exist I bet the alien teens are eloping and getting knocked up too.”  
  
“Was she pregnant?” Lizzie’s eyes grew wide and let her nails dig into Jesse’s arm. “What do you know that I don’t?”  
  
“No! I don’t know! I do know you’re going to draw blood soon if you don’t get your flimsy cat claws out of my arm.”  
  
“All ordered,” Gloria explained as she re-entered the room. “Half an hour. Of course this is New York and so half an hour is most likely an hour wait.” Gloria plunked down on the armchair with a huff and ran her fingers through a few strands of her jet black hair.  
  
Being in Gloria’s presence felt empowering. This woman hadn’t experienced the easy life Lizzie always had, and yet her struggles were chosen, unlike Jesse’s struggles which he’d been born into. While Lizzie didn’t want to swap lives with Gloria she also hoped to one day be just as successful in life as her. Gloria seemed to defeat all the odds against her as she kicked off her shoes and clicked the power button on the remote she held in her hand.  
  
“How is Nikki?” Gloria asked casually after settling on a station playing music videos. Either because she enjoyed catching up on the latest in the way of music, or she assumed it was something Jesse and Lizzie would be amused by.  
  
“She’s ok,” Jesse shrugged in turn, still shoveling in snacks. The boy had a bottomless pit of a stomach. Lizzie couldn’t exactly blame him though, they’d skipped lunch. Food hadn’t seemed very necessary when they were hyped up on the lively city and finding Gloria. Now that she had a moment to process it, Lizzie was feeling hungry and reached for a handful of chips as well.  
  
“What’s she up to these days?” Gloria tried to continue the conversation. “Your mom and I lost touch a long time ago. Nikki didn’t really like keeping in contact with many of us once Frankie passed away. Old news to you though I’m sure.”  
  
“She’s working two jobs,” Jesse explained, “one at a diner and the other at a clothing shop. She can’t find much else other than minimum wage jobs because she never went to college or university. Not that there seemed to be an opportunity or any money for it.”  
  
“Money was always sparse,” Gloria confirmed. “Definitely not enough for college. Always enough for the booze though…” Gloria gave a dry laugh over a memory neither Jesse or Lizzie would have been a part of. “We were stupid kids.”  
  
“Jesse and I have been tracking down all of Frank’s friends from high school,” Lizzie explained like so many times before. It was becoming a mantra by this point and the words came without having to think. “Jesse’s mom doesn’t like to talk about Frank, and so his old friends are really the only way we can gather any kind of information about him.”  
  
“What kind of information?” Gloria tucked her legs up under her and examined her manicured nails.  
  
“Stuff about him,” Lizzie shrugged unsurely. It felt too soon to bring up Daphne and she understood Frank’s personality from knowing him personally. “Do you have any interesting stories?”  
  
“I have a lot of stories,” Gloria giggled. “We were friends since grade 1 and got into all kinds of trouble together.”  
  
“The pizza will probably be an hour, as you said,” Jesse hinted as he leaned forward in his seat. “Care to share some highlights?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Gloria hadn’t been lying when she said she had a lot of great stories, and she had no falter in pulling them up one by one like she revisited them daily. Stories like the time Frank wore her lipstick in grade 1 to make her stop crying, or how they charged peers a nickel each to go down the slide when they were nine and used the money to buy junk food after school each day. Then there was a story about the time Gloria had been accused of stealing liquor from a store and Frank had not only talked her out of trouble, but managed to keep the booze as well. Or the time Gloria had pitched in to help Frank buy his first car so they could ditch school every so often to smoke cigarettes at the park.  
  
But Lizzie’s personal favourite story was when sixteen year old Gloria had been excited about attending homecoming with her then boyfriend, but soon became the laughing stock when twenty minutes into the party said boyfriend was laughing it up with his friends about how easy Gloria was. Frank, who had also been at the dance with his then girlfriend was furious and beat the crap out of Gloria’s date in the washrooms before being thrown out of the dance with Gloria for causing trouble. An upset Gloria and a seriously ticked off Frank decided to make the best of the night by celebrating with pot and booze in the back of Frank’s car in the parking lot.  
  
“I think those were some of the weirdest talks we ever had,” Gloria giggled now, leaned back in her chair with a plaintive expression on her face. “I tried to get him to dance with me. We had some decent music playing on the radio. But I probably would have had an easier time getting him to jump into a pond of lava, the expression on his face.” She paused to giggle again and light a cigarette. “Have you ever been close enough with someone that you can finish each other’s sentences?”  
  
Jesse nodded and Lizzie shrugged her shoulders.  
  
“We could finish each other’s unspoken thoughts,” Gloria smiled fondly. “Best friends have got that down flat, and we did.”  
  
“We’re trying to find Daphne,” Jesse brought up gently. “We understand that there’s a lot of upset around Daphne, but we were hoping that maybe she’d bring some closure to…everything, I guess?”  
  
Gloria’s thick eyelashes cast down toward the carpet in thought and back up languidly. She took a long drag from her cigarette before speaking next, and when she did her voice took on a serious edge Lizzie wasn’t prepared for.  
  
“He kissed me goodnight. Before he left the party _that_ night he came to find me. I was drunk, but I remember he kissed me goodnight. Right here,” she tapped a finger against her left cheek with a little smile. “Not goodbye, but goodnight, like I’ll see you again tomorrow morning. I don’t know where he was headed – back home maybe, but he obviously didn’t make it there.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lizzie’s voice shook. “We’ve heard a lot about him and he seemed like a really amazing person.”  
  
“The only stable thing in my life. He picked me up every time I was down. I only wish I could have done the same for him at that last party when he kissed me goodnight. Daphne wasn’t all bad… What have you heard about her?”  
  
Jesse briefly filled Gloria in on the details and she nodded along in confirmation for the most part, frowning over specific details that may have been overdramatized as she continued to suck back smoke.  
  
“Frank loved Daphne and I believe she really loved him too, but I don’t think she understood what exactly she was getting into when she agreed to date him. She definitely didn’t know what she was getting into when she agreed to be his fiancée…and I certainly didn’t help. I was just too caught up in Frank’s happiness to feed Daphne any sound advice. I was that relationship’s brainwashed cheerleader, shouting for more on the sidelines and demanding things work out so we could all just…be happy, I guess. But you can’t force happiness. I didn’t get that then.”  
  
“Fiancée?” Lizzie whispered more to herself than anyone else in the room, but didn’t bring it up for further discussion, so Jesse stepped in.  
  
“I think Lizzie and I fail to see how Frank was bad or dangerous, or…?” Jesse tried to clarify. “I get that he did drugs and dealt them-“  
  
“Frank was never bad or dangerous,” Gloria pointed a finger at Jesse defiantly. “What he did was bad and dangerous, but there is such a big difference, so be careful how you word things. Looking back I don’t even know what it was we were really running from. I bit of rehab? Some community service? Pretty cheap payment for what we ended up losing in the end.”  
  
“Can you please tell us what exactly happened in California, because Gerard was extremely reluctant,” Jesse requested. “He told us a bit of the lighter things, but it sounds like some dark things happened.”  
  
“Well I was out of my fucking mind,” Gloria stated bluntly with a bitter laugh and put her cigarette out. “Scared shitless and without a clue how real life works. The plan was to start over, but our money was gone almost immediately after we arrived at one of Nikki’s friend’s place. His name was Kevin, he was a drug addict living in a dump. That guy was so panicked about every step he took that he pointed a gun in Daphne’s face once because she startled him. Frank was majorly pissed off that particular day. But we were all miserable because we didn’t have any money for anything. Daphne and I snuck behind the guys’ backs by telling them we were working at a diner. We weren’t working at a diner… And Frankie wasn’t just going out for luxurious drives on his own each day either. Daphne and I were selling ourselves and Frank was right back to dealing. Vicious cycle. Daphne did what any decent human would do – she went back home where she belonged. I was mad at her for years about it, because it broke Frank’s heart, but, I think she was the only sane one out of us. After all, the three of us landed back in Jersey in the end anyway. She just realized the obvious sooner.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The pizza was eaten while watching television, with very minimal conversation during commercials. Gloria’s story sat heavy on Lizzie’s mind, but the information revealed wasn’t shocking or even relatively new, save for the fiancée part of it. Lizzie knew Frank loved Daphne, but engaged hadn’t crossed her mind. They were just teenagers, and because Lizzie couldn’t imagine herself being in a similar situation she had trouble understanding how two teenagers could be that in love with each other; so caught up in their whimsical fantasies that all they could fathom needing to survive was each other. Melodramatic, was all Lizzie could sum it up as.  
  
Lizzie had been hoping for Gloria to spill deep dark secrets – the conversations she referenced as having happened the night of homecoming when she and Frank were getting high the back of his car. Lizzie should have known that even now – twenty plus years later, Gloria would continue to be a loyal best friend and keep those private conversations unknown to anyone but herself.  
  
Jesse wiped any excess grease off his hands with a paper towel as he leaned back against the couch cushions and directed his attention on the older woman in the room. “Do you have any idea whatever happened to Daphne?”  
  
“Oh sure,” Gloria waved him off easily. “I ran into her just over a year ago. She’s a publisher now and has a house in Brooklyn. “  
  
Lizzie felt her heart jump up into her throat, both excited and shaken by the casual confession. With all the determination to find Daphne on her excursion to New York, a part of her didn’t actually believe they’d find Frank’s ex-girlfriend. Now that Gloria had so quickly rattled off the crucial information, Lizzie felt like her breath had been taken away and looked to Jesse to speak first.  
  
“Do you know if there’s any way we could contact her, non-creepily?”  
  
Gloria grew skeptical and for the first time hesitated in responding to their relentless questions. “I could give you her work address, but why? I’m sorry, why are you contacting everyone again? Am I missing something?”  
  
“We just want to learn everything we can about Frank,” Jesse eased Gloria back into trust. “Mom doesn’t talk about him and contacting his friends seemed like the next best option. So far, everyone we’ve met, has had different things to share with us, it’s been really interesting. Daphne’s someone we think will have something else to add… Would Daphne be extremely upset if we visited her? I guess she and Frank didn’t end on good terms.”  
  
“Well no, not exactly,” Gloria folded her arms lightly. “And I’m not trying to protect Daphne here, I don’t care if you raid her on the streets or even her house.”  
  
“What about Frank is there to protect in this case?” Lizzie caught on to Gloria’s problem much quicker than Jesse.  
  
“Look, we all made mistakes, and Daphne isn’t all bad, but Frankie was never the same after California and I won’t ever forgive her for that. I don’t want his name on her lips ever again, so help me. Even when I ran into her we didn’t talk about him. We danced around the subject because she knew I’d yank her pretty hair out of that pretty head of hers if she tried expressing any form of pity or regret. The least she could have done after leaving us in California was fucking call and make sure we were ok, or ask if Frankie was getting back on track. She knew all the trauma he’d been through, the only decent thing to do after breaking up with him would be to contact him and make sure he was doing ok! But she turned out to be just as big a bitch as Frank’s other ex-girlfriends. Daphne was supposed to be the solution to his problems.”  
  
It felt like a road block had been put up in their trail as Gloria continued to rant on about Daphne. Lizzie couldn’t help but feel like she was listening to a high school drama unleashed upon itself – all deceit and cat claws at each other’s throats. Gloria gave off a cool demeanour that she’d made peace with Daphne, when really she was probably the most riled up out of everyone Lizzie and Jesse had met yet.  
  
“We understand,” Jesse attempted to coax the older woman. “From what we’ve learned, we’re not Daphne’s biggest fans, but it would still feel worthwhile to meet her.”  
  
Gloria’s jaw clenched and she leaned back in her chair to light another cigarette as a calm down strategy. “You just better not let her badmouth your uncle,” Gloria frowned in determination. “Or there’ll be hell to pay.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
In the short time Lizzie had gotten to know Gloria, she’d already realized that the petite woman was all hot and cold. She was the kind of person to smack you upside the head and then provide you with cuddles to make up for the initial reaction. A bit like Frank, Lizzie thought when the older woman pulled her into a hug later that evening.  
  
Gloria had offered to let the teenagers crash at her place the night, but when they politely declined she did the next best thing by offering to pay for them to stay at a hotel overnight. It was already nearing 11:00 when Gloria stepped back into her painful looking shoes and Lizzie was internally screaming when all Gloria pulled on for warmth was a black pleather jacket for the weather. What was up with Frank’s friends and relatives never being equipped for the weather?  
  
Lizzie sided next to Jesse on the stairs waiting for Gloria to rejoin them after she hurried back into her place to snatch something she’d forgotten. She remerged zipping her bag closed and with a sweet smile on her face, but Lizzie knew that whatever Gloria had gone back for was all but innocent.  
  
“Are you both just gonna stand there or what?” she chided. “Exit is that way.”  
  
Like climbing up the stairs their shoes echoed off the walls on the way back down as well. They paused again for Gloria to lock up the shop from the outside and then the ageless individual that was Gloria Glassen led the way down the streets of Manhattan. Her walk was brisk, but if her shoes were hurting her, as Lizzie suspected they were, she didn’t let it show. She kept her head held high like crime wasn’t ready to pounce around each and every corner; like she welcomed it. Lizzie wasn’t particularly worried over any possible murderers either, but for an entirely different reason as her eyes tried to take in all of bright city lights.  
  
Despite it being after 11:00, crowds of people were found roaming Times Square – and why shouldn’t they with shops open beyond midnight, lively bars and new places to discover.  
  
“I know this hotel – it’s pretty lenient with rules and surrounded by cute little diners where you can catch some breakfast in the morning,” Gloria explained.  
  
“Are you going to be ok walking back alone?” Jesse felt the need to ask as they passed a shady looking man pressed up against the side of a building.  
  
“Oh please,” Gloria giggled and revealed what she’d gone back for inside her home. Leaning over to get a better look at what Gloria had in her bag, Lizzie’s eyes grew wide. “Is that an actual dagger?!”  
  
“Isn’t it pretty?” Gloria gushed. “Look at the hilt!”  
  
Sure, the sparkling weapon was pretty, but it was still a weapon.  
  
“So, like, have you killed a man?” Jesse blinked just as stunned.  
  
“Not yet,” Gloria slid the extremely sharp knife back into her bag. “But there’s always a first for everything and the night’s young.”  
  
“Remind me never to throw you a surprise party,” Jesse half joked, because it was obvious he was just as startled as Lizzie who kept eyeing the bag at Gloria’s side uncomfortably.  
  
“One quick flash of this beauty and people stray,” Gloria bragged as if she made it a priority to parade the weapon around to crowds of people at the local grocery store regularly. “Gerard got it for me when I first left for New York. He was the sweetest.”  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind for future parting gifts,” Jesse gave Lizzie a side-glance that summed up all the bizarre theorizing both were having over the adult woman in their accompaniment.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Gloria’s hug was snugger than Lizzie anticipated and the scent of her perfume lingered in her nose even after Gloria had backed away.  
  
“Ok you two, just remember to sign out in the morning. And don’t be strangers, come visit once in a while. I’ll give you both a free facial.”  
  
“I don’t know about the facial, but I’ll definitely come back for a free cupcake?” Jesse bargained.  
  
“Charmer like your uncle,” Gloria grabbed Jesse’s chin affectionately. “Cute. He’d be so excited to be an uncle. Frankie didn’t have much of one, and adopted most of his, but family meant a great deal to him, Jesse. He would have loved you so much.” Swallowing thickly Gloria unzipped her jacket to reach into her shirt. Producing a couple business cards she gave them a stern look. “I’m fucking serious you two, keep in touch. And you tell Mikey to get his scrawny ass over here too. Especially after the baby comes. I’d pay big bucks to see him in full parental mode.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The hotel room was nicer than the one Lizzie had stayed in the last time she was in New York with her mom and brother. It was cleaner and didn’t smell of marijuana, but it still had a bit of a draft to it. However, Lizzie’s biggest concern was the one queen-sized bed sat defiantly against the wall.  
  
Jesse seemed to catch on to her discomfort and immediately offered to sleep on the floor, like Lizzie predicted he would.  
  
“No, no,” she dismissed, “that’s not fair.”  
  
“So we’re sharing?” he asked in surprise. “You’re ok with that?”  
  
Lizzie moved to the bed and pulled the sheets back. “You’re not allowed to venture onto my side of the bed. If you do I have full permission to kick you in the nuts.”  
  
“Is that your only rule?” Jesse inquired when Lizzie started pulling her pajamas and toiletries out of her bag.  
  
“Do I need more rules?” Lizzie couldn’t help but giggle, because Jesse looked stunned. “What kind of rules did you think I was going to enforce?”  
  
“Well I don’t know,” he mumbled and ran a hand through his hair, a bit flustered that his crush was going to let him share a bed with her. “Stack of pillows, I have to sleep above the covers, face away from each other. There’s a standard list, maybe you’re just unaware.”  
  
“I don’t think we need the extremes,” Lizzie shrugged. “I trust you not to be slime.”  
  
Jesse smiled widely, as if his year had been made by her words. When she was in the washroom he claimed one side of the bed and turned the television on with a contented sigh. Jesse had crashed at many friends’ places before. He’d slept on floors, in king sized beds and even a hammock a couple times, but this was by far the best situation he’d found himself in yet when Lizzie walked out of the washroom, makeup free and wearing pajamas with ducks on them.  
  
“Don’t even,” she pointed at him when he grinned. “If you insult my duck pajamas I’m cutting our deal short and you can sleep outside the door.”  
  
“I like the duck pajamas,” Jesse laughed and crawled off the bed to go use the washroom next. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and flashed her another smile before shutting the door.  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and crawled under the covers with her cellphone in hand; she still had to call home to check in with Olivia. After all, as far as her mother knew, she was on a little excursion with Jesse’s family, under the direct supervision of Nikki, who, in reality, had no idea her son had ran off to New York with a girl he had great interest in. For all she knew, Jesse was spending the weekend at Nathan’s.  
  
“I’m calling home,” Lizzie announced loudly, “so don’t say anything when you come out of there!”  
  
“Ok,” Jesse called back with a mouth full of toothpaste that he nearly spit out onto the mirror.  
  
The phone rang two times before Olivia answered. “Hello?”  
  
“Hi, Mom, just checking in,” Lizzie began and frowned curiously over the bottle of prescription pills on the nightstand.  
  
“How was the first day?” Olivia enthused.  
  
Lizzie provided a list of lies she’d already mapped out in her mind. How she’d ridden a ferry to the Statue of Liberty and bought tacos from a street stand for lunch. She lied about visiting the Museum of Modern Art with Jesse’s family and how they ate out at a Chinese restaurant that had the best noodles she’d ever tasted. And through each fib told Lizzie had already planned out how she would explain the lack of evidence of any of these fictional events having occurred.  
  
Somewhere in all her pre-thought blabber Jesse came out of the washroom. The tips of his hair were wet and he’d changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants. Lizzie’s eyes followed him around the room as he went to put his backpack on the chair and then sit next to her on the bed silently. His hands fiddled with the prescription on the nightstand as quietly as possible and he dry swallowed a pill before leaning back against his pillow.  
  
“That sounds great, Izzy,” Olivia’s voice carried happily through the phone. “I’m so glad you’re having fun. Are you about to tuck in then?”  
  
“Yeah, I just set the alarm for 8:00 tomorrow morning.”  
  
“Ok then, I’ll let you go. Remember to call me again tomorrow. I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Lizzie responded and hung up. “What are those for?” She quickly turned toward Jesse and shook his arm for an answer.  
  
“Hey now, don’t those rules apply to you as well?” he teased. “You’re on _my_ side of the bed now. You get to kick me, but I get to _tickle_ you. How’s that? You’d love that wouldn’t you?”  
  
“Shut up, the rules don’t count right now,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes.  
  
“No?” Jesse grinned and invaded her side of the bed when he crawled over and sat on her lap teasingly. “I’m not breaking any boundaries am I? This doesn’t count?”  
  
“Get off,” Lizzie shoved at him through laughter. “You weigh a ton.”  
  
“Aw, that’s not nice, I haven’t lost all my holiday weight yet.”  
  
“What’s the medication for?”  
  
Jesse rolled back over to his side and lay down facing her. “I’m actually a psychopath and they’re the only thing that will keep me sane.”  
  
“Jesse,” Lizzie cried out in frustration. “Stop being such a loser. Seriously.”  
  
“Oh, _seriously_. It’s for my arrhythmia. Nothing major, just two pills a day and it keeps my chest beatboxing.”  
  
“That sucks,” Lizzie murmured and fiddled with the sheets between her fingers. When she turned her head she found Jesse watching her with a faint smile. “Don’t die in your sleep. That totally breaks the rules.”  
  
“I’ll try not to,” he spoke quietly in response. “So what’s the goodnight protocol, Lizzie? Do we hug it out? High-five? Cuddle? …Kiss?”  
  
“Nice try,” she snorted and reached over to shut her light off. “Just go to sleep.”  
  
“ _Nothing_?” Jesse reached up to the ceiling defiantly in the dark. “I get nothing?!” His arms fell back down to his sides with a huff. “Even Nathan gives me more than that I’ll have you know.”  
  
“Goodnight, Jesse.”  
  
“One time he brought me cookies and milk.”  
  
“ _Goodnight_ , Jesse.”  
  
“I mean, at least fist bump me!”  
  
“Jesse!”  
  
“Night, Lizzie.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....


	32. Chapter 32

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _"Wouldn't Change It" - Halvorsen_
  * _"How Will I Know" - Whitney Houston_
  * _"Yesterday" - Marianas Trench_
  * _"Harlem" - New Politics (We finally reach what I consider to be Jesse's theme song. The vibes of it helped shaped his character...as odd as that may be)_
  * _"Astro Zombies" - Misfits (All Misfits songs really. This one is just more relevant to this story because MCR covered it. Plus Danzig’s voice sounds…ace…in this one...)_
  * _"It's My Life" - Wendy O. Williams_
  * _"Cake By the Ocean" - DNCE_
  * _"Colors" - Halsey_



_.............................................................................................................................................._

 

Lizzie had wanted to be the first one to wake up in the morning, because the thought of being asleep while Jesse was awake irked her. However, Lizzie had never been an early riser and took pride in the fact that she could out-sleep anyone anytime. That fact came back to bite her in the ass when she awoke to an empty hotel room. The only indication that Jesse hadn’t ditched her was the fact that his backpack was still on the chair by the bed and the scent of soap and toothpaste drifted from the washroom, hinting that he had probably already brushed and showered.  
  
In a lame attempt at getting out of bed Lizzie squirmed around and whined. If Frank were there he would have made comments over her pathetic nature and pressed ghostly cold hands to her neck until she ran away squealing. But Frank wasn’t there, and the covers were warm and welcoming.  
  
The sound of a card being swiped in the door startled Lizzie and had her pulling the covers over her head when Jesse walked in. He balanced a tray of Starbucks and carefully nudged the door closed with his foot. “Are you still asleep?”  
  
“Don’t look at me, I look gross.”  
  
“Why, did your face melt off overnight or something? You looked fine yesterday before bed. Not to mention that I saw makeup gunk all over your face that one time you fell asleep in my lap. Remember that? My chin does. You have a hard head.”  
  
“Are you trying to make things better or worse?” Lizzie grumbled.  
  
“I’m trying to tell you you’re naturally pretty and have nothing to worry about, but I don’t think you’re quite catching on,” Jesse laughed.  
  
Lizzie pulled the blankets down and frowned at the boy holding breakfast. He flinched in turn and raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Alright, well maybe not when you’re making _that_ face. Lighten up, I brought you breakfast. We have to be out of the hotel in an hour and a half or Gloria’s going to get dinged for another night. I don’t know about you, but she seemed pretty cool, so I don’t feel comfortable taking advantage of her credit card.”  
  
Groaning Lizzie trudged from the bed to the washroom and back out. “Forgot my stuff,” she muttered and gathered her clothes and toiletry bag. “Why is the bathroom so fucking bright,” she growled at the room and slammed the door.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie and Jesse spent the day wandering New York, exploring a couple places Lizzie had wanted to see the last time she’d been there but missed due to limited time.  
  
She hadn’t a clue where they were going to be spending the night, but she found it near impossible to worry with Jesse taking the lead as tour guide. When he said he’d been to New York a few times in his life he hadn’t been lying. Lizzie had printed out some maps of the bustling city, but had used it a total of twice all day because Jesse was so familiar with the area they were in.  
  
“It’s Manhattan,” he’d explained, “it’s where all the tourist locations are.”  
  
They’d been staring up at the Bethesda fountain for a few minutes now. There weren’t too many people who stuck around to admire the famous scene with them and there was a brief moment in which Lizzie felt like she and Jesse were the only people in the giant park. A shiver ran up her spine when she glanced up at the early afternoon sky and Jesse let his gaze fall on her. “Cold?”  
  
“No,” Lizzie snorted, “I fucking love winter and spending all day in the snow.”  
  
“Ok then,” he shrugged with a playful smile barely concealed as he dipped his chin down into the neck lining of his jacket.  
  
“Yes I’m cold,” Lizzie exclaimed seconds later and wound her scarf up to her eyes. “Aren’t you!?”  
  
“No,” Jesse’s tone was honest and dismissive.  
  
“Why aren’t you ever cold?! Are you half penguin?!”  
  
Jesse smiled and nodded toward her jacket pocket. “What time is it?”  
  
Lizzie reluctantly exposed her hand clutching her cellphone in her pocket to the cold air and resisted the urge to let her teeth chatter. “Almost 2:00 PM,” she answered and quickly shoved her hand back into the warmth of her jacket.  
  
“C’mon,” Jesse tugged gently at her arm, “we’ll go warm up somewhere. The Met isn’t too far from here. I know you’ve been there already but we can stop in to warm up a bit and then take off again.”  
  
“Ok,” Lizzie agreed easily because any longer outside and she was highly certain her nose was going to fall off. “Which way?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse held the door open and Lizzie scurried into the museum with a sharp breath she hadn’t even noticed she’d been holding in.  
  
“Sight-seeing is a shitload better in the summer,” Lizzie concluded. “Even if my ass is melting off.”  
  
“Are you saying this is the end of the tour?” Jesse teased knowingly. “I was going to take you to all the landmarks.”  
  
“It’s cold!”  
  
“Fine, fine,” he exhaled. “Just for the record though, it’s totally you chickening out.”  
  
“I take full responsibility.”  
  
“So,” he sighed and unzipped his jacket as if the heat in the building was getting to him. “What’re we going to do? I think there’s a café around here somewhere.”  
  
“Let’s go look at art,” Lizzie chirped happily. Sure she’d been at the museum before but that was hardly enough time to see even a sliver of what it had to offer.  
  
“You’ve been here before though,” Jesse, to Lizzie’s surprise sounded a bit startled and blushed a pretty shade of pink.  
  
“Yeah, but I only had time to see a small fraction of the galleries,” she explained herself carefully, unsure as to why Jesse appeared so nervous in her presence. They’d been through a few hurdles together now and being embarrassed in front of each other seemed odd and unnecessary. “We can grab something to eat after?”  
  
Jesse pulled out his wallet and Lizzie felt as if someone had whipped a brick at her stomach when he began counting whatever money he had had left for the trip. The shade of pink on his cheeks darkened slightly and Lizzie understood exactly why he felt embarrassed. Jesse didn’t have enough cash to pay for the museum. Originally the plan was to visit free landmarks and avoid any kind of expenditures. The park, the Twin Towers memorial, Times Square and China Town. Browsing was free and if Lizzie had wanted something she could have purchased it without Jesse having to worry about matching the price.  
  
Until now Lizzie hadn’t given the cost much thought. She’d gathered together her earned money, allowances and Christmas cash in order to make this excursion count. It wasn’t like she went out very much or had to help _her_ mother pay bills. Lizzie felt foolish for being so thoughtless and unsympathetic.  
  
“It’s my idea so put your stupid wallet away,” she insisted before Jesse could start adding up loose change. He probably had enough, sure, but that could mean sacrificing a couple much needed meals for something Lizzie had thrown at him out of the blue. It was Jesse who had planned out where to take her after all.  
  
“No, no, I can pay for mine, it’s fine.”  
  
“Jesse, it’s one ticket, it’s ok,” Lizzie dug her own wallet out of her backpack. “Just like you buying me coffee, remember?”  
  
“I’ll pay you back after my next paycheck,” he gave the inside of his wallet one last pitiful glance. “Promise.”  
  
“I don’t want you to pay me back,” Lizzie shook her head. “It’s a thank you. Pretty sure I would have been lost by now if I didn’t have you along for this impromptu trip.”  
  
“It’s not a thank you though,” Jesse’s eyes were tired - not from sleep deprivation or exhaustion, but from life. Lizzie had seen Jesse vulnerable before, but never could she begin to imagine the look on his face when living and life made him depressed. It was shattering and overwhelmingly real that even Jesse, was human.  
  
“So what is it?” Lizzie asked curiously.  
  
“A thank you could be a hug,” he spoke animatedly with his hands. “It could be a smile or a high-five. It would even just be you saying ‘Hey, Jess, thanks for making sure I didn’t get hit by that car’. I don’t need a handout, Lizzie.”  
  
Lizzie almost sputtered her next words. A handout hadn’t even crossed her mind, even though that’s exactly what it was. If Jesse had the cash she wouldn’t have given paying for his ticket another thought. “It’s not a handout, you moron! I’m just trying to be your friend. You’re not the first person I’ve ever bought something for you know.”  
  
“Ok, I’m sorry,” he held his hands up to pause her rant. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”  
  
“No! You shouldn’t have.”  
  
Jesse shrugged his shoulders and offered a small smile. “Thanks.”  
  
“No,” it was Lizzie’s turn to lecture, “not ‘Thanks’. The proper response is ‘You’re welcome’.”  
  
Jesse hopped up and down on the spot a few time and Lizzie had to giggle because it really did seem like he was recharging himself when a wide smile replaced his saddened eyes. “Start again.”  
  
“I’m paying for your ticket to say thanks for being my tour guide and body guard.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Jesse beamed.  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and moved forward to go purchase the tickets but was halted by Jesse who grabbed hold of her wrist gently. His next words were soft and honest, catching Lizzie’s breath in the process.  
  
“But seriously, Lizzie, _thanks_.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse had surprised Lizzie a number of times by his knowledge of things, but the random facts he could pull up about particular art pieces was mesmerizing. A few better known facts she knew, but Jesse pulled up some grotesque and strangely erotic imagery over some art pieces that had Lizzie shoving his arm to make him shut up in the presence of elderly groups and small children. If Frank were with them she would have abandoned ship in the very first gallery.  
  
“Why do you know so much weird stuff?” Lizzie laughed over the most recent fact he rattled off about Dali. Granted it wasn’t very difficult to pull up bizarre Dali facts, but Jesse made them sound like he’d dug them out from the bottom of a trunk and blew the dust off.  
  
“I don’t know,” he laughed along with her. Their laughter bounced off the walls and echoed in the near empty room as the last of the tour group exited. They were in one of the permanent galleries now and all the paintings on the wall were the type that followed you with their serious expressions and stealthy stares.  
  
“I think I hear something weird once and stick it in with core memories,” Jesse carried on.  
  
“I guess that’s good for striking up conversations with people though. I don’t understand how you can do that.”  
  
“Talk to people?” Jesse teased. Any bitter or awkward feelings from being offered a free ticket had worn off and it was clear he was loving the experience just as much as Lizzie.  
  
“Talk to _strangers_ ,” Lizzie clarified whilst challenging an old renaissance man in a staring contest.  
  
She didn’t think Jesse had heard her, but almost a full minutes later he began an explanation.  
  
“I think I don’t have patience for silence. Or- Well- Alright, most people feel uncomfortable when someone on the bus strikes up a conversation. I’m the opposite. I get agitated when I see someone holding, like, a mop, on the bus. Why do they have a mop? What’re they going to do with it? Are they going to work? Are they going home? Most people are content with not knowing the answer. They’ll get off the bus and instantly forget the dude with the mop. I won’t. I don’t. I will literally be trying to fall asleep that same night tossing and turning over thoughts of that dude with the mop. So for me, talking to someone is easier than not.”  
  
“Is that why you came to sit with me that first time at lunch?” Lizzie pondered aloud.  
  
“You always sat alone, I wanted to know why,” Jesse grinned slowly, prompting a slap to the arm from Lizzie.  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
“What did I do?”  
  
“You’re implying that I’m a loser.”  
  
“No, I’m implying that you’re fantastically odd. The world needs more of you.”  
  
There was no possible way for Lizzie to argue with the remark and they continued on through the museum until closing at 5:30.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Dinner was had at a grungy café near the Met and proved light on Jesse’s wallet to Lizzie’s relief because getting into another argument with the boy was not something she welcomed with open arms.  
  
They both nursed their drinks as long as humanly possible and in all that time Lizzie wondered in a nervous silence where they were going to end up spending the night. She took some comfort in the fact that Gloria had been generously accommodating with her home, so in any worse case scenario they had her to run back to for the night.  
  
“What do you think Frank’s up to?” Jesse interrupted Lizzie’s silent worry.  
  
Lizzie’s heart jolted with the realization that she’d gone without checking her Facebook messages all day. Slowly her hand crept across the table to her phone. “Uh, he’s…” Lizzie had rarely been so coordinated with her phone before and clicked precisely on the blue icon app. It revealed that, yes, the ghost back home had been trying to get in touch with her today in several whiny messages and one extremely offensive picture.  
  
Scrolling back up to the first in the string of messages informed her that he’d been trolling the forums for the newly announced “Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens”. Attached was a promotional picture that stated: “Punk has never been so out of this world”, and another picture of a woman Lizzie had never seen before with a comment from Frank explaining: “This is the rumoured Candy they cast. Show Jess!”.  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes and turned her phone toward the boy sat across from her.  
  
“Holy shit,” he exclaimed. “Tell Frank I got an instant boner.”  
  
Unfazed by the response Lizzie began to type a message back:  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Jesse says he got a boner. What are you up to?”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“I just dealt with that very issue. What the fuck do you think I’ve been up to? Waiting for your lazy ass to respond! I don’t have much more than ectoplasm going on for me these last hundred years.”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“I’m sorry! It’s been pretty crazy, obviously. We met Gloria! She’s so badass.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“She’s alright?”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Yeah. She misses you, FYI.”_  
  
Lizzie wished she could see the look on his face. She was blunt with the reveal of Gloria and after Frank threw small fits over being told too much she wondered if telling him his best friend thinking about him on a daily basis was too much to handle.  
  
 **Frank:** _“I miss her too.”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Her store is pretty great and she seems to be successful. She let us into her apartment above the store and we ate dinner with her. She had a lot to tell us.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“I don’t want to know anymore. Did she tell you where to find Daphne?”_  
  
Lizzie sighed and turned her phone back to an eager Jesse who wanted to be involved in the conversation.  
  
“I guess you should tell him what he wants to know and leave it at that. We knew he would be stubborn about this. He wants to be in the loop, but he has specifics he want to be in the loop on.”  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Yes. Do you want to know?”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“I don’t know. I’m nervous.”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Gloria met up with her not too long ago for lunch. They bumped into each other on the street and went to catch up. She’s a publisher now.”_  
  
There was a longer pause in the conversation this time and Lizzie set her phone down on the table to wait. “What do you we do now?” she rest her chin in the palm of her hand to ask.  
  
“Wait until we get kicked out, which hopefully won’t be for a while yet. Then I’m taking you to a show.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I saw some flyers around for an underground show. I’ve heard of the band before.”  
  
“Aren’t these shows usually held in bars? Like – need to be legal drinking age and all?”  
  
Jesse laughed, “They’re not going to card us, don’t worry. Especially here.”  
  
“Alright, so let’s say we do go to this bar. Where exactly are we going to sleep tonight?”  
  
“Camp out at the club until they kick us out and then I don’t know yet. We’ll find somewhere.”  
  
“We’re in New York, Jesse! It’s not like we can just raid in on Nathan’s!”  
  
“Relax, we’ll figure it out."  
  
"Is that your answer to everything?"  
  
"Most things!"  
..............................................................................................................................................................  
  
It was nearing 11:30 when they arrived at the bar. Young adults Lizzie normally wouldn’t associate with were surrounding the area, smoking, drinking, making out or just enjoying the bitterly cold air. Many had some sort of visible piercings and Lizzie was willing to bet money they were all inked under the layers of clothes.  
  
Lizzie was no stranger to local gigs, but she didn’t make it a point to attend ones that only began to heat up after midnight. Jesse was in his element – but then again, when wasn’t Jesse in his element? They’d been standing around for all of two minutes and he was already invested in a conversation with a guy with snakebite piercings and a leather jacket. He must have bummed a cigarette from the guy or had one offered to him because he flicked ashes to the ground coolly where he stood.  
  
Lizzie had never seen Jesse smoke before and her eyes followed his hand as he guided it to his lips to take a drag. He did so naturally and she wondered just how often he smoked. Maybe she had been oblivious to the pack he sucked back on a day-by-day basis.  
  
Lizzie blinked slowly when Jesse turned and offered her the cigarette. When she shook her head he exhaled smoke to the side.  
  
“This is my friend Lizzie,” he explained to the guy with a smile. “Lizzie, this is Griffin, he’s friends with the dude who owns this bar.”  
  
The guy offered his hand and Lizzie shook it politely.  
  
“He’ll make sure we get in,” Jesse nudged her arm, “so you can stop freaking out over being carded.”  
  
Lizzie shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Only Jesse would be able to not only locate, but also befriend the bar’s owner’s BFF in minutes.  
  
“He also says we can lock our stuff up in the office so we don’t have to worry about whapping people with our bags.”  
  
“Thanks,” Lizzie gave the tiniest of smiles to Griffin who shrugged in turn.  
  
“No problem. The band playing tonight is killer. They’re going places. Enjoy ‘em now when you don’t have to pay $75 a pop to catch an hour and a half set. They’ll be playing ‘til at least three. They throw in a couple breaks but other than that keep hammering ‘em out. Your ears will be ringing until next week.”  
  
“Sounds great,” Jesse agreed and flicked the cigarette to the filthy pavement.  
  
“Do we get to go inside anytime soon because I’m fucking freezing,” Lizzie voiced exactly how she was feeling.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Griffin gave a brief laugh and nodded in the direction of the door. “C’mon, I’ll get you two kids in.”  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes when Griffin’s back was to her. ‘Kids’. He couldn’t be any more than five years older than them. “I didn’t know you smoked,” she spoke to Jesse instead as they followed not to the front doors of the venue but around the side to the back.  
  
“Socially,” Jesse answered distractedly as he examined flyers posted along the wall advertising old and upcoming events for various venues around the area. He pocketed one he had interest in before giving her his full attention. “But if you count second hand smoke I’ve been a pretty avid smoker since I was a baby.”  
  
Griffin held the door open for them and Lizzie walked into a dimly lit hallway. It was already loud with people who chose to not freeze their tits off and the band warming up. A couple doors on the right leading down the hall were labeled ‘Stage’ and ‘Storage’. Lizzie didn’t see what was behind those doors, but she could imagine what they probably led to. There was only one door on the left and it was labeled ‘Staff’. Griffin poked his head in first to deem it fine for the teenagers to enter. It was a bare bones room with a beaten up desk in the corner loaded high with papers. A laptop sat haphazardly atop what looked like a stack of music magazines and there was a wire wastebasket sat next to the desk on the floor.  
  
Griffin gestured to a stained couch pushed up against one of the walls. “You can toss your stuff there and we can lock it up until you’re ready to leave.  
  
The room smelled of alcohol and marijuana. Lizzie could only begin to imagine all the parties and drama that had unfolded in the small office. Presumed office only because of the laptop, papers and what appeared to be some form of schedule taped up on the wall next to a poster of Wendy O. Williams.  
  
Jesse had no problem dumping his possessions on the couch and looked at Lizzie to follow suit. She did, but not without triple checking for her phone and keys. She stuffed a few bills into her pockets in case she wanted a water later and shed her jacket to place beside Jesse’s. With dismay she glanced down at the sweater she’d chosen to wear that day and for maybe just a split second wished she’d bought something more suiting from Gloria’s shop to wear at the bar. Jesse was always sporting some kind of alternative look with his mismatched outfit and with his tattoo and piercing he checked out fine appearance-wise for the night.  
  
“I’ll get Ace to lock up in a minute,” Griffin explained. “He’s usually near front of house during shows if you need to leave early. If not I’ll be here at the end of the show to help you get your stuff back.”  
  
“Well what does Ace look like in case we need him?” Lizzie questioned worriedly. She didn’t like the idea of not being able to retrieve her own belongings when she wanted them.  
  
“Kind of like if early 80s Danzig hooked up with Black Canary… but then their kid got beat with an ugly stick by Johnny Rotten.” Griffin laughed at his own joke while Lizzie just made the connection that Danzig was from The Misfits and she’d seen him multiple times in all those grainy videos Frank had dragged her through on the internet. Even so, she had no idea what Johnny Rotten looked like from memory, nor who the hell Black Canary even was. If Griffin was being just an ounce truthful she’d have to rely on Jesse’s judgement locating the bar owner if need be.  
  
Even Jesse looked a bit confused trying to piece together a description but shrugged to Lizzie with a small laugh. “Do you have everything you need?”  
  
“I guess so,” she responded after patting her pocket for her phone one more time.  
  
Griffin led them out of the office into the narrow hall and paused. “Hey, look, perfect timing! I love when that happens. Ace, these kids are leaving some of their stuff in the office until the show’s over.”  
  
If he was someone who looked his age Ace was probably in his late twenties or early thirties. With a head of dark unkempt hair that fell into his eyes and a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth he held a bottle of beer in one hand and papers in the other. “Yeah, alright,” Ace dismissed easily and kicked the closing door back open lightly. “I’m gonna need you up front, Griff, it’s a busy fucking night.”  
  
“ _Ace_ , Ace,” Griffin smirked and bid farewell to Jesse and Lizzie.  
  
The bar owner tossed the papers he held onto the desk in exchange for his laptop. Snuffing out his cigarette and taking a gulp of his beer he finally paid the slightest bit of attention to the two teenagers standing in the doorway, immediately taking an interest to Lizzie. “What’re your names?”  
  
“I’m Jesse and this is Lizzie. Thanks for letting us crash your office.”  
  
“Sure,” Ace offered a brief smile and tucked his laptop under his arm in order to fish out his keys to lock the office door. “Lizzie. That’s a name you don’t hear every day. Suits you.”  
  
“…Thanks,” Lizzie refrained from rolling her eyes.  
  
“I’ll see you around tonight, have fun,” he smiled fully to her and took off in the direction Griffin had.  
  
With Ace gone Lizzie turned to Jesse who was watching after the bar owner with a hard stare. “So is that what Danzig and Black Parakeet’s hypothetical kid would look like if Johnny Appleseed beat them up?”  
  
Jesse’s gaze flickered to Lizzie’s with his mouth open to argue over her ridiculous references until he saw she was smirking teasingly. “Oh shut up,” he laughed and threw an arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, Black _Parakeet_.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The bar was a big, sweaty, alcohol infused bash all high on rapid music and rebellious shouting. Lizzie felt surrounded by the world of Gerard’s comic and she caught herself a couple times glancing toward the front of the venue hoping that just maybe Riley and Gem would walk in to join the party.  
  
Without Riley or Gem and with Jesse busy headbanging and moshing in front of the stage Lizzie resorted to her phone for company. She pushed back through the hoard of people and found some refuge from the excitement in the corner of the room.  
  
Frank had never responded to her message about Daphne earlier and she assumed it was because he had no words to express himself. Instead of continuing the topic she switched gears entirely to nab his attention.  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Help! Jesse dragged me to an underground punk music gig thing at this crazy bar and I don’t know how to fit in!”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“You don’t fit in or not fit in at a punk show, amateur. You belong.”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“What’s the difference?”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“Fitting in sounds like you’re trying to be or not be something. You don’t try to be punk. Being punk isn’t a fashion statement, it’s not one thing or the other. It’s just doing whatever it is you want to do and being whatever it is you want to be without harming others in the process. Be heard but don’t be a major dick about it. No one likes that person in the crowd.”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Were you that person?”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“I was the life of the party. Pun intended.”_  
  
Lizzie was about to reply when the music ceased and the band called a fifteen minute break. Pocketing her phone she wandered in the direction she’d last seen Jesse thrashing around but was paused in her tracks by Ace.  
  
“Hi, Lizzie, are you having fun?” he spoke loudly to be heard over the roar of the energetic crowd who were all rushing to the bar for a refill on beverages or heading outside for a breath of fresh air. The air in the bar was hazy with smoke of various types and it made Lizzie’s eyes water a bit, but she shrugged it off and focused on the bar owner.  
  
“It’s alright,” she responded listlessly. “Pretty cool hangout I guess. I’m just looking for Jesse.”  
  
“Good luck,” he chuckled and offered her one of the two beverages he held. “Cheers.”  
  
“No thanks, I’m not drinking.”  
  
“It’s just Coke,” he shrugged and pulled his hand back a bit to peer into the cup. “Just thought you might be thirsty, it gets pretty hot in here.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie backpedalled her original statement and accepted the drink. “Thanks.”  
  
“Remember to say bye before you leave!” Ace had a charming smile, much like Jesse. Slightly crooked teeth and dark brown eyes he seemed like a nice enough guy and pat her on the shoulder before heading off in the opposite direction. It left Lizzie back in the whirlwind of moving bodies, all bumping into each other without apologizing.  
  
Jumping up and down a few times to see beyond some people Lizzie spotted Jesse by the stage and pushed her way in his general direction. Licking at the bit of beverage that had spilled onto her hand she earned a few bizarre looks but ignored them and continued on until she was a few party-goers away from her friend.  
  
Jesse’s back was to her and he held a bottle of beer in his left hand. His right was currently preoccupied holding a girl’s hand as they danced to the music played over the speakers until the band returned. Lizzie didn’t think much of it, because Jesse was spontaneous and liked to gain attention, hence his little stint in the subway station yesterday.  
  
What Lizzie wasn’t expecting was the girl’s hands to wander _his_ body. Jesse didn’t appear to mind and when he grinned Lizzie realized he probably enjoyed the attention. It wasn’t until the girl’s hands wandered to the waistline of his jeans that Lizzie began to feel like someone was sitting on her chest. Jesse was not hers in the slightest, and she didn’t want him. She’d made that very clear to him. She had Frank. At least she kept telling herself Frank was hers. But Frank was leaving and Jesse’s hand was wandering up the back of this girl’s shirt. They danced against each other and Lizzie gulped down a quarter of her drink trying to decide whether or not it was appropriate to interrupt.  
  
“Hey,” a voice yanked her out of her thoughts abruptly and Lizzie turned to bump into Griffin this time. He pulled a really lame dance move and Lizzie hoped he was being dorky on purpose for his sake…and everyone else’s sake for that matter. When he laughed she assumed he probably was. “Did you want to dance?” he offered his hand. “Still a few more minutes until the band gets back up there and you look lost.”  
  
“Not lost,” Lizzie assured and took another sip of her drink. “Just getting tired. Bored. I don’t know.”  
  
“Did you want to go lie down in the office?” Griffin offered. “Still pretty loud but away from all this?”  
  
“No thanks,” Lizzie shook her head and downed another quarter of her drink. Ace was right, it was an inferno and she could feel herself sweating under her top. Gross.  
  
“Ok… Well let me know if you need anything,” he turned away and was immediately met with a small crowd of people who were more willing to dance than Lizzie.  
  
When Lizzie’s phone buzzed in her pocket she moved to a less active part of the dance floor and viewed the message sent from Frank on her Facebook.  
  
 **Frank:** _“Gurrrlll, are you ignoring me now? Did you not get the joke? Life of the party? Ha!”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“You’re a loser. I wish you were here.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“What’s wrong?”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Bored.”_  
  
She paused to take another drink and then shrunk back against the wall debating if she should say more.  
  
 _“Jesse’s off dancing with some hussy.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“Well dance is sin. ‘Footloose’ has looped enough on television for me to conclude this factual information. Why aren’t you sinning?”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Don’t want to. It’s hot in here. Smokes lot lots loud hottt… why do weeee danc anywi???”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“Hey, Liz, are you ok? Have you been drinking?”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Jus coke no alkahal.”_  
  
Frank’s replies came fast and precise in a panic Lizzie couldn’t understand. She slid down the wall to sit and blinked rapidly to concentrate on the screen.  
  
 **Frank:** _“Did you buy the drink yourself or did someone give it to you?”_  
  
 **Lizzie:** _“Ace.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“Who the fuck is Ace?! Lizzie go find Jesse now.”_  
  
 **Frank:** _“NOW, Lizzie!”_  
  
Heaving a sigh Lizzie crawled forward and clumsily pulled herself up to a stand. The room was hot and unbalanced and the colourful stage lights were a blur that reflected on the band.  
  
Lizzie held a hand out in front of her to make her way through the wall of bodies. Getting tossed this way and that she felt like she was captaining a little shrimp boat that was battling Moby Dick in the middle of a hurricane.  
  
“There you are,” Jesse smiled widely as he approached her halfway. “I was just coming to find you!”  
  
Jesse had a twin. Lizzie didn’t know he had a twin but there was clearly a second Jesse right beside him with the same brilliant smile and caring eyes. She reached for him curiously but stumbled.  
  
“Whoa. Hey, are you ok?” Jesse gripped her arms to pull her back upright. She felt the cup being pulled forcefully from her grip and Jesse was talking and his twin was making this horrified expression that made Lizzie’s heart sink. “…Gave…this?” Jesse was underwater. Not really, but he sounded like it and it made Lizzie feel queasy.  
  
“Who?” Lizzie’s voice was slurred and like the stage lights Jesse’s image was blurring. Her hand gripped onto his shoulder tightly and Jesse welcomed it, pulling her closer and keeping his arm firmly around her waist.  
  
“Griffin,” Jesse shouted over the noise.  
  
Lizzie watched through heavy lidded eyes over Jesse’s shoulder, the ghosts of people whirling around and meshing together. Belonging. And then nothing.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………


	33. Chapter 33

Musical inspiration for this chapter: 

_• “Talk About You” – MIKA  
• “Insensitive” – Jann Arden  
• “Have a Little Faith in Me” – John Hiatt_

.............................................................................................

 

His voice sounded so far away but Lizzie reluctantly peeked an eye open to find Jesse’s face inches from hers. His expression was that of concern but he smiled gently when he saw her waking up.  
  
“Hey,” he kept his voice quiet. “Sorry I had to wake you but I figured you’d be pissed at me if I didn’t. Last night was rough, how are you feeling?”  
  
“What?” Lizzie’s tired voice slurred. She sat up and winced at the headache that followed her. “I don’t- What happened? Where are we?” An apartment, obviously, but whose upholstered couch she was lying on remained a mystery.  
  
“I met a girl last night named Amy who heard what happened and said we could stay at her place. So this is her apartment.”  
  
Snippets from their time spent at the bar came back to Lizzie in quick bursts. Loud music, dancing, Ace and his stupid drink, Jesse being doubled in her vision. “The girl you were sucking face with?” Lizzie let her head tilt against the couch sleepily. She didn’t know what time it was and while she knew today was important she couldn’t fathom moving yet.  
  
“No sucking face,” Jesse’s cheeks tinged pink and he scratched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. “Just dancing. Caught up in the moment… Seriously, how are you feeling? Griffin helped get you here, he was really mad about what happened. Ace is a dick. I’m glad I found you before he did.”  
  
“The drink was laced.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jesse continued to study her face in concern. “But you’re ok, right? Nothing happened?”  
  
“I don’t remember,” Lizzie rubbed at her face with both hands, urging herself to wake up and focus. “I don’t think so. No. He just gave me the drink. I didn’t see him again after that. Just- I talked to Frankie. And there was Griffin and you.”  
  
Jesse nodded his head and placed a hand on her arm. “I’ll get you some water. Lie down for a bit longer and then we’ll think about heading out if you’re feeling up to it still.”  
  
“Doesn’t matter if I’m feeling up to it,” Lizzie frowned. “It was my own fault anyway, I’m an idiot.”  
  
“Hey, don’t say that,” Jesse’s voice was firm. “The only idiot in this entire situation is Ace. And unfortunately we live in a world that is crawling with a bunch of jerks like Ace around every corner. But what happened last night is not your fault and you’re not an idiot. And I’m sorry you and I got separated, I should have stuck with you. So maybe I’m a bit of an idiot.”  
  
“No you’re not,” Lizzie sighed. “I wandered off during the band’s first set.”  
  
“So I should have followed you.”  
  
“You were having fun.”  
  
“That doesn’t matter. You and I have to look out for each other and I neglected to do my part last night. I’m sorry.”  
  
“I don’t need a babysitter.”  
  
“Well maybe _I_ do then!”  
  
Lizzie weakly smiled and stared at her friend. “You _d_ o talk to every creeper you meet.”  
  
“See!”  
  
“Thanks for taking care of me last night, Jess,” Lizzie leaned forward and enveloped the smiley boy in a hug. “It could have ended a lot worse if you hadn’t found me first.”  
  
Jesse held her just a couple seconds extra after she began to let go and then hopped up from his seat. “I’ll get you some water.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie only became aware of her shoeless feet when she sat up on the couch a good twenty minutes later. Someone – Jesse, probably – had taken them off for her last night. She had yet to meet the apartment’s owner, but it was evident that Jesse had been sleeping on the floor next to the coffee table judging from the pillow and blankets spread out over the carpet. No sucking face.  
  
Lizzie leaned as far as the could without getting up from the couch and just managed to loop her fingers around the strap of her bag. Jesse must have been watching because the next thing she knew there was soft laughter sounding from behind her.  
  
“Nice reach. Now allow me.” Presenting a plate with peanut butter on toast Jesse’s hand came down in front of her. He’d been puttering around in the kitchen the last while putting together breakfast and creating as little noise as possible in the process. “Amy’s still asleep but she said to eat whatever we wanted for breakfast last night.”  
  
“Thanks,” Lizzie’s voice was dull and she kept rubbing at her eyes hoping it might somehow will her pounding headache away. Realistically she was probably only successfully smearing dark mascara circles around her eyes, or accomplishing the ever so fashionable pinkeye look.  
  
“Still feeling really shitty, huh?” Jesse observed. “Or is peanut butter not your thing? Are you about to go all anaphylactic? I just figured peanut butter was more substantial. ‘Go’ foods or whatever. Is that what it is? Grain means go? Like energy?”  
  
“What?” Lizzie’s face screwed up in confusion. “Go food?”  
  
“Did you want _Rice Krispies_ instead?” Jesse ignored her question.  
  
“No, Jess, this is fine, thanks,” Lizzie took the plate. “I just don’t know if I need to throw up – or – I don’t know.”  
  
“Well I’ll tell you something I _do_ know,” the boy’s voice was light and pleasant as he moved around the couch to sit next to her. “I really like when you call me Jess.”  
  
The comment made Lizzie instantly want to roll her eyes but instead she found herself scooting over, closer to her friend until their arms were touching. “How many people have you been a hero for in the past?” she only half joked. “Have you rescued a lot of girls from assholes like Ace?”  
  
Jesse’s eyebrows furrowed together in a contemplative frown. “Not a hero.”  
  
“Fine, nice guy or whatever.”  
  
“Not even that,” Jesse spoke determinedly to get his point across. “Human. Just being human. What Ace did wasn’t human, it was monstrous and wrong on so many levels. People like that are sick and twisted. I wasn’t being a hero last night I was being a human; I was being your friend. To be your hero would mean you’re incapable of something and I don’t think that was the case. You’re not weak, Lizzie.”  
  
“Still,” Lizzie’s voice had shrunk to the size of a shy four year old’s. “Things could have gone a lot worse if it hadn’t been for human you. Could be a lot worse if it wasn’t for human you right _now_.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Amy – Jesse’s ‘not sucking face’ female dance partner from last night awoke a few minutes after Lizzie and Jesse’s human talk.  
  
Amy appeared to be a nice person and had to be human enough to offer her place to some strange, drugged up, passed out girl for the night.  
  
Jesse had explained his groping dance moves as being caught up in the moment and while he engaged in friendly chatter now with Amy in the kitchenette, Amy’s mannerism toward him reflected much more interest than friendly chatter. If she’d had it her way last night, dancing would have led to much more.  
  
Jesse was either completely oblivious to her flirtation and touches, or just wasn’t interested. Lizzie couldn’t tell and eventually stopped spying long enough to realize she hadn’t contacted Frank following the panic last night.  
  
While Jesse had indeed helped her out a great deal he may not have found her in time if it hadn’t been for Frank quickly catching on to her shitty spelling and grammar to order her to find safety.  
  
Still a bit dizzy Lizzie sat back down on the couch in order to message Frank that she was ok.  
  
Several messages had been sent to her through the night and morning from her roommate. Each one expressing his concern and panic over her lack of communication. While her thumbs began to glide across the screen of her phone she received yet another message.  
  
**Frank:** _“If you’re awake and haven’t answered me yet I swear I’m going to start breaking shit, Elizabeth.”_  
  
**Lizzie:** _“Hey! I’m sorry! I’ve been awake for about half an hour but feel so shitty. I can’t remember everything from last night but I’m ok. I got to Jesse and now we’re at a girl named Amy’s house. Nothing happened.”_  
  
**Frank:** _“You got drugged! Something fucking happened! Who the fuck is Ace?! Did he touch you? I’ll kill him.”_  
  
**Lizzie:** _“No! It’s ok, calm down, you’re going to freeze my mom and brother to death.”_  
  
**Frank:** _“They already left. Human popsicles.”_  
  
**Lizzie:** _“See!”_  
  
**Frank:** _“Don’t take drinks from asshole guys, Lizzie. Don’t take drinks from any guy! Any guy, any woman, anybody! Didn’t you ever learn that?”_  
  
**Lizzie:** _“It was stupid, I got it. I know. I just wasn’t thinking.”_  
  
**Frank:** _“This was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have sent you there.”_  
  
Lizzie’s face turned red with embarrassment and anger even if Frank’s doubt and condescending rant was all via a screen.  
  
**Lizzie:** _“News flash! You didn’t send me, I chose to go. Secondly, you sound like my dad! What happened here could just have easily happened at a club by home!”_  
  
**Frank:** _“It didn’t though did it? It happened there and the only reason you’re there is because of me.”_  
  
**Lizzie:** _“Stop. I’m ok, let’s move on. No more drinks from strangers. Today Jesse and I are going to track down Daphne. I just have to finish getting ready and then we’re heading out. I’ll message you later to let you know what’s going on. Stop freaking out so the house can warm up and my family can come back home.”_  
  
**Frank:** _“Hold Jesse’s hand when you go anywhere.”_  
  
Lizzie shook her head with a smile now that Frank was easing up. She decided not to answer but instead forced herself up. Changing her outfit sounded like a challenging enough task let alone showering, so she decided to skip it for the time being. The food had done her some good even though it had been a difficult task swallowing it down.  
  
Gathering her things she awkwardly moved toward the kitchenette to grab the attention of the two other people in the home. Amy was first to notice and offered a friendly smile.  
  
“Hi! We didn’t really get to meet properly last night. I’m Amy. How are you feeling?”  
  
“Uh, yeah, hi, thanks,” Lizzie muttered with the vocal tenacity of a cavewoman. “I’m Lizzie. I’m fine. Just a bit dizzy. Uh, can I use the washroom? To change?”  
  
“Oh yeah, for sure!” Amy nodded aggressively. “It’s just over there.” She was a pretty young woman with bleached blonde hair to her shoulders and dark brown eyes. Even wearing zero makeup she still looked naturally dolled up with her full pink lips and long lashes. Lizzie would peg her at twenty-one or twenty-two years old. Age didn’t discourage her from approaching Jesse, and Jesse was the type of person Lizzie imagined could or would date an older woman. He had a maturity that most boys in high school lacked; experienced in ways they had yet to ponder.  
  
Lizzie eyed Amy’s booty shorts that accompanied her light pink camisole. “How often are you in the city?” Lizzie heard her ask Jesse before she chose to shut the washroom door.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse and Lizzie thanked Amy for her hospitality before leaving a mere thirty minutes later. Lizzie smiled to show her genuine appreciation, because they could have ended up on the couch of a complete creep, but Amy was anything but. Jesse hugged her like a lifelong friend and she whispered something into his ear that was probably meant to make him blush, but the boy simply grinned, winked and exited the apartment.  
  
Amy was located on the seventh floor of the building and Lizzie tried to imagine how odd it may have looked last night with Jesse, Griffin and Amy having to drag her limp body across town and into the elevator.  
  
“Amy was nice,” Lizzie made conversation in the otherwise silent situation. “I think she really likes you, you two should go out.”  
  
Jesse gave a laugh. “No. I mean, yeah, she’s nice and pretty. Mainly interested in getting into my pants, and that’s cool, and yeah that’d be pretty great, but I’m not that interested right now.”  
  
Lizzie nodded her head slowly and hid a little smile just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. No sucking face.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie’s boots scraped against the gritty road as they hurried across at a red light. Most drivers in New York took it upon themselves to predict traffic lights and began to accelerate five seconds before they should. As a walking pedestrian you had to move fast to avoid what could be a fatal visit with thousands of pounds of metal.  
  
They managed to avoid danger and safely stepped onto the filthy sidewalk of Hudson Street. With so many feet trudging up and down the pavement the snow had been reduced to a dark sludge colour mixed with sand and pollution. Lizzie grimaced over the thought of how much filth was clinging to the bottom of her shoes, but her thoughts were brief as Jesse began talking.  
  
“Do you think she’ll talk to us?” He sounded uncertain and Lizzie wanted to shake him by the shoulders and say he wasn’t allowed to flake out now because they were so close! Lizzie needed him to be the strong one because she was the designated panicker over the entire idea of coming face-to-face with Daphne _Marrington_. Jesse needed to maintain his calm and positive demeanour so they could accomplish what they’d set out to do.  
  
“Well, hopefully,” Lizzie settled with.  
  
Up ahead she could see the building they were walking toward. Lizzie hadn’t been expecting Daphne to be a book publisher. Then again she didn’t really know what she’d expect Daphne to do for a living. It wasn’t like she knew much about the woman. Frank had told her that Daphne was not the one at fault for the demise of their relationship. While she was the one who had ultimately called off their engagement Frank put all the blame on himself for their ending. Daphne broke his heart. Daphne ruined several friendships. Daphne was even the reason why Lizzie herself was so upset now. In short, Lizzie was not a fan of Daphne. This woman Lizzie had never met was the reason why her life was so rattled up now.  
  
They paused at the building’s entrance and Jesse held the glass door open for Lizzie who stepped onto shiny marble tile. The place didn’t smell like books, which Lizzie had been anticipating. How could a building that published books not be stacked from floor to ceiling with hopeful authors’ work printed out on standard sized white paper? Lizzie half expected there to be couches lined against the walls with the employees all leaned back with a Starbuck’s coffee in one hand and book in the other.  
  
That wasn’t what they found. The space was open and vacant of comfy couches, and while quiet, the silence was disturbed by the sound of a phone ringing at the front desk in a low reverberating hum.  
  
The woman who answered spoke in a hushed voice and an elevator to the left dinged open, revealing an older man with a briefcase who provided Lizzie and Jesse with a brief smile as he exited the building.  
  
“So now what?” Jesse spoke in a hushed tone, not unlike the secretary at the front desk. Anything other than a whisper was sure to be amplified off the shiny walls.  
  
“I don’t know, go work your charm or whatever,” Lizzie nodded toward the front desk to make her point clear.  
  
“Is that your weird way of complimenting me? ‘Cause I’ll take what I can get! Thanks!”  
  
“If you don’t go now I’m going to leave. This isn’t exactly an encounter I want to have,” Lizzie’s expression was unreadable, but her tone was firm and her words serious, leaving Jesse to advance their quest.  
  
Lizzie dropped her backpack onto the floor. After carrying it around for so long it was getting heavy. Running her fingers through her hair she watched Jesse lean over the counter and cast a smile to the middle aged woman behind it. There was a brief exchange of words before the woman picked up the phone and chuckled over something ridiculous and charming Jesse had said, no doubt.  
  
In a contradicting rise and fall Lizzie’s heart pang when the woman hung up the phone with the shake of her head. Some more brief words and Jesse returned to Lizzie.  
  
“Well?” she urged.  
  
“Her office is on the fourth floor, but she’s leaving right away and can’t see us today.”  
  
“We only have today, Jesse!”  
  
“Well I know that and you know that but she doesn’t! Don’t take it out on me. I’m just your charming friend.”  
  
“Let’s go find her then,” Lizzie stubbornly swiped up her backpack and turned to the elevator.  
  
Jesse grabbed hold of her arm before Lizzie could in fact run toward the elevator. “Doesn’t that sound just a little bit crazy?” he was careful to offer his words gently. “She won’t know who we are and –“  
  
“Neither did Bob, Gerard or Gloria but we still stalked them! What’s so different about this?”  
  
Jesse paused long enough to gather his explanation together. “With everyone else we’ve talked to- They were all friends with Frank. None of them purposefully walked out of his life. Daphne did when she broke up with him. Everyone was pretty willing to talk to us when we explained why we were standing at their door or in their workplace, but Daphne might not be so willing or forgiving of our sudden presence in her life.”  
  
If Lizzie had comprehended even an ounce of Jesse’s explanation she didn’t let it show when the elevator dinged again, revealing a woman in her early forties. She wore a black winter coat with knee-high boots. Her hair was a dark auburn colour that looked like it could be bottle hair dyed. It fell past her shoulders in a styled wave and she too carried a briefcase in her hand.  
  
Lizzie tore away from Jesse’s grip and moved toward the woman she recognized as an aged Daphne Taylor.  
  
“Hey,” Lizzie called after the woman.  
  
Daphne paused in her tracks and looked up from the phone she was texting on. “Hello?”  
  
“We have to talk to you,” Lizzie spilled out.  
  
Much to Lizzie and Jesse’s dismay Daphne shuffled forward as if about to make a run for it. “I’m sorry but I have to pick up my kid from school. Please arrange a meeting with me at the front desk and I’ll be happy to speak with you then.”  
  
“No, we can’t,” Lizzie insisted. She shook Jesse off more violently than necessary when he took hold of her arm to calm her down.  
  
Daphne’s eyes gave away her startled feelings and Lizzie was pissed off over how pretty this woman was. Frank could have ended up with this woman under different circumstances and Lizzie didn’t want to think about Frank with anyone else let alone this woman clutching her cellphone like Lizzie or Jesse were about to snatch it.  
  
“I’m sorry, but I really don’t have the time right now. Please make an appointment-“  
  
“Fuck the appointment,” Lizzie grit out.  
  
“I- I have to go,” Daphne’s voice stammered- more from startle than anything else. Her eyes settled on Jesse for a few seconds pause before she took hurried steps toward the front entrance. No, Lizzie and Jesse weren’t exactly worthy of a hoodlum title, but you couldn’t judge anyone based on appearance in the 21st century. Too many innocent faces could wield a gun in your face with the wrong combination of words.  
  
Lizzie stormed after her in frustration, prompting Jesse to tag alone with desperate pleas for her to quit it before Daphne reached a the level of panic that would involve the cops for harassment.  
  
Daphne was hurrying down the street, running from them or not, it was unclear, but Lizzie’s feet picked up the pace on the pavement until she was right behind the business woman. “We have no other time to meet with you, it’s our last day here!” Lizzie explained angrily.  
  
Daphne looked over her shoulder with wide eyes. “Look, I really don’t want to have to resort to calling the cops, but if that’s what-“  
  
“We really don’t mean to cause you any trouble,” Jesse spoke up from Lizzie’s side.  
  
“Then please stop following,” Daphne’s lovely face screwed up in a frown. “I have a sick kid to pick up from school!”  
  
Daphne once again turned to leave and the ridiculous words sprung to Lizzie’s lips before she could filter her thoughts and realize the stupidity of the remark.  
  
“Frank was sick but you never picked him up did you?!”  
  
Daphne’s head snapped back to look over her shoulder at the mention of his name. For a split moment Lizzie thought the woman was about to cry. Instead her gaze looked beyond Lizzie to Jesse and there she fixed her stare until Jesse fidgeted uncomfortably on the spot.  
  
“You’re not here about wanting a book published,” her tone was nervous and she spoke at Jesse as if Lizzie wasn’t present at all. “Who are you two?”  
  
“Frank’s nephew,” Jesse answered in a way that had Lizzie scowling at him, because he sounded almost regretful over the news.  
  
“Nikki’s kid,” Daphne pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead like she was frustrated but her voice shook with carefully concealed emotion. “Great.”  
  
Usually Jesse would have some calming words or quip to lighten the mood, but instead he remained silent.  
  
“Just what I need,” Daphne carried on. “Look, I can’t, ok? And I’m not. I spent a lot of time trying to forget Frank and I’m not about to discuss the matter with you, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for your loss, and Nikki’s loss and everyone’s loss, but my kid is waiting for me so I have to go. Sorry.”  
  
Daphne turned on her heel and whipped through the crowd like a true New Yorker, leaving Lizzie and Jesse a stunned mess in the middle of the sidewalk.  
  
“That bitch,” Lizzie began and moved forward with all intention of once more catching up to Daphne.  
  
“Don’t,” Jesse stopped her.  
  
“But-“  
  
“Don’t,” he repeated louder. “Leave it be! What good is it trying to talk to her when she clearly doesn’t want to? We knew it could end this way so leave her be.”  
  
“And Frankie?!”  
  
“So we lie,” Jesse crammed his cold hands into his jacket pockets. “We make up a story that will convince him she’s completely fine. She has at least one kid, she wears a wedding ring and has a different last name, so she must be married. All he wants to know is if she’s fine. We saw her, she moved on, she’s ok.”  
  
“With a reaction like that you think she’s ok?” Lizzie’s jaw nearly unhinged. “ _That_ , to you, appeared like she was great? She’s so obviously in the same state at your mother!”  
  
“ _My_ mom didn’t choose to leave him,” Jesse’s cheeks flushed pink with anger. “Daphne did though. So they can’t be in the ‘same state’ as you put it!”  
  
“Well I’m not lying to Frank, so you can just fuck off. I’m going to track Daphne down again. I’ll find my own way back to Jersey.”  
  
Jesse opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to voice the correct words but finding it difficult to locate them. “Fine,” he settled with calmly. “That’s what you really want, ok.”  
  
“Great, fine,” Lizzie swallowed shakily and let her backpack slide down her shoulders to retrieve her gloves.  
  
Jesse watched diligently. Conflicted he ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry, maybe-“  
  
“Oh shit,” Lizzie startled and brought his apology to an abrupt stop. “I _have_ to find her again.” In a futile attempt she threw a desperate glance in the direction Daphne had headed in. With just a small hope she thought Frank’s ex-fiancée would have had a change of heart.  
  
“What? What’s wrong?”  
  
Lizzie guiltily held an envelope up with Daphne’s name scrawled across it.  
  
“What is that?” Jesse inquired.  
  
“A letter from Frank,” Lizzie explained tearfully. Upset for many reasons; having Daphne be uncooperative, forgetting Frank’s important letter and arguing with the only other person who could remotely understand how difficult all of this was on her.  
  
“Ok, we’ll come back tomorrow,” Jesse appeared nervous and concerned over Lizzie’s meltdown. At that moment he would probably say or do anything in the world to prevent her from outright crying.  
  
“Yeah?” Lizzie studied the sloppy writing on the envelope as a distraction and in denial that she had been seconds way from sobbing all over Jesse.  
  
“I’m a firm believer of mail being delivered to its rightful recipient.”  
  
Lizzie managed a tiny smile and tucked the letter back into her bag. “So, now what? We have the whole day.”  
  
“Repeat of yesterday? Sight see? If it gets too cold we can go see a movie?”  
  
“I’m not sleeping on another stranger’s couch tonight, Jesse. And I’ll have to figure out something to tell my mom.”  
  
“Well…there’s always Gloria.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie didn’t want to talk after her breakdown and Jesse tried coaxing her into conversation a couple times before he gave up trying. She followed behind him blindly, putting one foot in front of the other with her eyes to the ground and blocking out the surrounding noise and commotion of people around her.  
  
Gloria was surprised to see them back so soon, but instantly welcomed them and was more than happy to accommodate them for the night.  
  
They spent the rest of the day helping her around the shop. Jesse would sweep up the hair Gloria snipped from customers’ heads while Lizzie ran the cash register. Or Jesse would greet customers and persuade them to buy the most expensive product in the shop while Lizzie handed makeup to Gloria in order for things to run along at a quicker pace.  
  
Later that evening after chowing down some take-out cheeseburgers and fries Lizzie was stood in the middle of Gloria’s washroom having just had a shower. She carefully brushed her wet and tangled locks while examining all the decorations and products Gloria had around the room. Everything she owned had a little or a lot of flare to it. Like the bejewelled frame around the mirror, or even how the toilet seat cover was both black faux fur and sparkly. Even the taps on the sink were silver skulls – one with red gems for eyes and one with blue to mark the options of hot and cold water. Lizzie didn’t know if she should cringe over the clashing qualities or praise Gloria for being so cool.  
  
Lizzie’s phone sat on the counter at a safe distance from the sink. She’d been avoiding it all afternoon, save for convincing Olivia it was ok for her to miss just one day of school. While she hadn’t been particularly pleased with the information, she couldn’t back down in the battle of the ‘cool moms’. So as long as Jesse’s mom had given her stamp of approval to it, then she would as well. No one had intentions of letting Darren know his daughter had missed a day of school to gallivant New York with a _boy_.  
  
The conversation with her mother had taken place several hours ago. Several hours for Frank to ponder what the hell had gone wrong for them to need another day. She’d promised to keep him in the know, but now that the day was coming to a close Lizzie’s plan was to keep him in the dark. Today had been a train wreck and Daphne had wanted anything but to discuss her deceased ex-fiancé.  
  
Exiting the bathroom she re-entered the living room where Gloria and Jesse had moved the coffee table out of the way in order to create a makeshift bed on the floor.  
  
“We’re going to watch _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ ,” Jesse explained from his seat on the floor next to Gloria. Both had their legs stretched out comfortably in front of them and were leaned back against the couch ready to hit play on the remote. Lizzie instantly wondered if Gloria ever had nights like this with Frank. Lizzie always thought nights like this were too good to be true. When all that was needed to feel like you were on top of the world was your best friend, a bunch of comfy pillows, a bowl of popcorn and a cult classic film to watch into the early morning hours. She’d been lucky to have so many amazing movie nights spent with Frank back home.  
  
Jesse’s words were chipper, but his eyes were tired and Lizzie could only blame herself this time around for his sleep deprivation. She’d been the reason he hadn’t slept well last night and she wanted to make it up to him. Instead of joining them on the floor right away she pat the cushions on the couch. “You know you’re getting the couch tonight, right?”  
  
Jesse tore his gaze away from the television long enough to look up at her. “No, it’s good, you take it. After last night you probably need it more anyway.”  
  
“What happened last night?” Gloria joined into the conversation.  
  
“Lizzie had her drink laced by a creep,” Jesse’s voice was serious and his tone nipped right at Gloria’s nerves.  
  
“Are you ok?” she rushed out and scrambled to her feet.  
  
Before Lizzie could respond she had Gloria’s hand pressed to her forehead, as if checking for a fever. She looked closely into Lizzie’s eyes and grabbed the bottom of her chin to turn her head from left to right. Very motherly for a woman who probably despised the thought of being a mother herself.  
  
“I’m ok, I’m ok,” Lizzie laughed nervously and backed away from her grip. “Thanks.”  
  
“What the hell did you two kids get yourselves into yesterday?” Gloria’s eyebrows furrowed together. Her hands continued to prod at Lizzie’s face distractedly while her gaze was fixed accusingly on Jesse.  
  
“We just went to a gig,” he shrugged. “We got separated and Lizzie grabbed a drink from a creep. We found each other before anything else happened and crashed a girl’s house the night.”  
  
“Oh you are your uncle’s nephew aren’t you?” Gloria scoffed. “Nikki would kill me if she found out I didn’t glue your cute butts to my couch when you showed up the other day.”  
  
“Well it’s not his fault,” Lizzie backed away from Gloria’s frantic hands.  
  
Gloria’s inner struggle calmed and she pointed a finger at the floor, “Let’s just start the movie already, huh?”  
  
Lizzie gave a tiny smile and moved forward to pull at Jesse’s arm.  
  
“Move,” she whined. “Seriously! If you don’t sleep on the couch tonight I’m going to take a chainsaw to your skateboard.”  
  
“You wouldn’t,” Jesse grinned. He evidently liked the playfulness of Lizzie’s empty threat but was in no position to argue when he himself knew she was right by calling him out on fatigue.  
  
Lizzie smiled as Jesse dragged himself up onto the couch.  
  
Gloria flung the blanket over Lizzie’s lap and pressed play. Within twenty minutes Jesse was asleep leaving the two females to enjoy _Time Warp_ on their own.  
  
“We need popcorn,” Gloria declared and flicked a lighter on to guide her way to the kitchen rather than play conventional by turning the lights on.  
  
Lizzie watched her exit the room and briefly cast her attention to the stilled frame of Richard O’Brien on the television. Her fingers itched to open Frank’s letter. After their interaction with Daphne today Lizzie wanted to be better prepared for whatever tomorrow brought.  
  
Hearing the popping from the microwave and Gloria humming an old ‘70s hit Lizzie pulled her backpack closer and dug out the letter. A nervous glance over her shoulder reassured that Jesse was asleep and she pulled out a single piece of paper and a plain silver ring. Nothing expensive looking and probably one picked out at a pawn shop.  
  
Lizzie’s puzzled expression was interrupted by Gloria leaning back into the room.  
  
“Do you like liquorice? You know, never mind, I’ll bring it out anyway. What the hell is _Picture Show_ without liquorice?”  
  
Lizzie’s mouth twitched a smile and then she began to read the brief note. She’d expected a novel explanation or love letter, but all it read was:  
  
_Hey Little Miss Piss-Pants,  
  
I miss you.  
  
It’s been a while now since I last saw you and I’ve had time to think. You were right to leave and I shouldn’t have tried to make you stay. You were unhappy and scared. So was I. We weren’t the same together anymore and I think it’s because I was forcing you along the whole time. I never even asked if you wanted to run away with me, I just assumed you would. I never stopped to listen to what you wanted. I’m sorry. Maybe if I had been a better listener and followed you back home we could have made it all work out.  
  
I feel like I’ve missed you for years.  
  
I wish I could see you again; kill some more time with you.  
  
You didn’t leave contact information but I hope this letter finds its way to you one day, Daph. And I hope that one day you can forgive me. You gave me your promise ring back the day you left and I want you to keep it. Maybe we were never meant to be together, but I still feel like we were meant to be friends.  
  
I hope you’re happy.  
  
All my love,  
  
Frankie_  
  
Lizzie tucked the note back into the envelope before Gloria returned and frowned at the simple white paper in her hands. Here Frank was spilling his heart out for a woman who’d treated Lizzie and Jesse like the plague and practically spat venom at the sheer mention of Frank’s name. It was infuriating.  
  
“Ok, ok, press play,” Gloria gushed as she hurried back into the room in her stockinged feet. Her long black crocheted sweater ran down to her thighs and Lizzie could only assume she was wearing pants of some sort underneath.  
  
She wedged the bowl of popcorn between them and tossed the pack of licorice onto the blanket in front of them. “I haven’t watched this movie in ages! It’s so much more fun watching with someone!”  
  
Lizzie nodded, but couldn’t match Gloria’s enthusiasm while her hand was still clutching Frank’s note to Daphne.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The movie ended on a high note with Gloria explaining to Lizzie the time she’d tried to style a friend’s hair like Columbia’s but failed miserably. “It fried her hair so badly,” she laughed. “She walked around for a month wearing this godawful hat that she thought was trendy. It was hideous, but I couldn’t tell her that after having ruined her hair, right?! Or maybe I should have told her as her friend. Either way we’re still friends.”  
  
Lizzie tried to smile along. Gloria was like the cool aunt she never had. Olivia’s older sister lived somewhere in Saskatchewan with her husband and dogs and rarely visited, never mind fried her best friend’s hair trying to emulate _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ ’s style. Lizzie couldn’t imagine sitting with her aunt on the floor of the living room eating liquorice and watching a man in drag singing his heart out about sexuality.  
  
“How’re you feeling?” Gloria inquired when Lizzie didn’t respond.  
  
“Fine,” she breathed.  
  
“Mhm,” Gloria visibly rolled her eyes and then noticed the envelope. “What’s this,” she plucked it up and examined it closely. “Is this…?” Her hands fumbled with the paper to pull out the same note Lizzie had earlier.  
  
Lizzie was struck frozen and hardly dared to blink.  
  
“Where did you get this?” Gloria’s voice was shaky. “When?”  
  
“I found it in the bedroom. His bedroom I mean. Well mine, but was his. I mean I live in his old house.”  
  
Gloria’s eyes were fixed on Lizzie’s mouth, watching as she stammered out an explanation. “You live in his grandparents’ old house,” she confirmed. “Were a lot of his things left behind?”  
  
Lizzie nodded. “We got rid of a lot of it, but I kept a few things that I thought were cool. And this seemed wrong to throw away. It only seems right that I give it to Daphne.”  
  
“I hate that he’s apologizing in this,” Gloria frowned and let her eyes run over her best friend’s sloppy writing again. Lizzie could see the older woman’s gaze following each flick and swirl of cursive. Her hands held the paper like it might disintegrate if she breathed too heavily on it. “He shouldn’t have to apologize for anything. It should have been her writing to him. But…” Gloria couldn’t seem to get her words out. She swallowed and hesitated, wiping away a couple sneaky tears before letting her broken voice out. “We didn’t get any last wishes from him. Some people thought it was a suicide, but I know it wasn’t. I know because there is no way he would have left Nikki without any closure. And he would have told me ‘goodbye’ that night, you know?”  
  
Lizzie nodded quickly, because no, Frank had not died by his own will.  
  
“He didn’t get any last wishes, but this is probably just as close,” Gloria finished. “And I think he deserves it. It’s what he would have wanted.” Gloria put the note back into the envelope and returned it with a watery smile. “You make sure Daphne gets it.”  
  
“I will,” Lizzie whispered and leaned back against the sofa. “Why does he call her ‘Piss-Pants’ in this?”  
  
Gloria giggled at the name and shrugged. “Frankie loved to give everyone stupid nicknames every now and then. Daphne’s just stuck. She was always so excited about things that Frankie would comment how he was surprised she didn’t piss her pants. So he started calling her _Little Miss Piss-Pants_. An unfortunate nickname for her.”  
  
It sounded so much like the ghost boy Lizzie had waiting back home that she giggled along with Gloria until another question came to mind. “How come Frank lived with his grandparents?”  
  
“His parents died when he was fifteen. Drugs and speeding don’t go well together. Drugs and speeding don’t go well separately either. He and Nikki lived with their grandparents until Nikki turned twenty-one and then he moved in with her.”  
  
“Oh,” Lizzie’s voice became lodged in her throat. The bits and pieces she continued to arrange painted a tragic life. It was a puzzle she wanted to deface, tear apart and rearrange into a life more suiting for such a sweet person.  
  
Jesse _had_ to know why his mother had lived with her grandparents. Lizzie just never thought to ask and he’d never brought it up.  
  
Lizzie gently fumbled the silver ring around between her fingers. It matched the one Frank wore on his left ring finger. More questions she had never dared to ask, or maybe never even thought to. Anything left she had wondered about or told herself she’d weasel out of Gloria felt inappropriate and private. The past wasn’t Lizzie’s story and all she really needed to know was said without words from the ring in her hand.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	34. Chapter 34

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

_• “Let’s Go” – Tiesto feat. Icona Pop  
• “Wings” – Birdy  
• “Have a Little Faith in Me” (piano instrumental) – John Hiatt   
• “Defying Gravity” (instrumental) – Wicked (I don’t even know, it really has nothing to do with the story, the ending just made me feel like writing so I’ll include it here)  
• “I Drove All Night” – Cyndi Lauper  
• “Baptized” - Daughtry_

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Lizzie’s feet carried her down the same streets they’d ventured yesterday to Daphne’s work. Lizzie had found it only fair to share the letter with Jesse who declined the offer.  
  
_“I can’t read that. That’s from beyond the grave, you know? A ghost’s last words to someone he died in love with. I can’t do it. But I will help return it to its rightful owner.”_  
  
Jesse worked his charm on the receptionist like he had the previous day and they were told to take the elevator to the 4th floor, where a Daphne Marrington worked.  
  
Lizzie pinched the ring through the paper of the envelope lightly and mad a silent wish that Daphne would hear them out more willingly this time. They had run the risk that she would be away again today if her kid was sick, but luck was on their side so far.  
  
Another receptionist greeted them upon their entry into the office space. “Do you have an appointment with Ms. Marrington?” she smiled sweetly.  
  
“No, but we shouldn’t take up much of her time and were hoping there may be an open slot somewhere in her schedule today?” Jesse was the one to reason.  
  
“She’s just wrapping up a meeting now,” the receptionist explained. “If you wait around for a few minutes she should have a bit of time to meet with you before her next obligation.”  
  
Taking a seat Lizzie answered Frank’s constant messages on Facebook demanding to know what had happened and why she hadn’t bothered to inform him of the day’s events.  
  
**Frank:** _We made a pact that you would tell me everything. What happened?_  
  
**Lizzie:** _We couldn’t meet with Daphne yesterday because she wasn’t in._  
  
Lizzie paused to think before continuing.  
  
_And I wasn’t feeling great so we stayed with Gloria the night. We’re back at Daphne’s work now and waiting to meet with her._  
  
Jesse and Lizzie waited in silence until a small commotion of pleased voices came drifting around the corner – one of which belonged to Daphne. Like yesterday she was dressed professionally and smiled so brightly it seemed to warm the room. “Sounds wonderful,” she exclaimed pleasantly and saw the group consisting of two men and a woman out before returning.  
  
Lizzie held her breath and refused to look up from Frank’s scrawled writing. There was a pause as Daphne set eyes on the two teenagers. Lizzie was sure she would call security or at least order them to leave, but instead she stated a fact.  
  
“You’re back.”  
  
“We can be difficult to get rid of,” Jesse joked half-heartedly. “We won’t take up much of your time, Ms. Marrington. We just have something we forgot to give you yesterday and Gloria assured us it was something you should be gifted.  
  
Daphne’s expression was pensive and she granted them approval with the slight nod of her head to follow.  
  
Lizzie followed behind Jesse to the office Daphne brought them to. They took a seat in the two chairs set in front of a desk that was absent of clutter, but highlighted with a few family photos. One of which revealed that Dpahne had not one, but three children and a husband.  
  
Lizzie’s hand felt sweaty holding the envelope and she set it down on her lap carefully for the time being.  
  
“Is your son or daughter feeling better?” Jesse made conversation by pointing to the framed family picture on the desk. “We were worried we wouldn’t have the opportunity to talk with you today.”  
  
Daphne’s eyes studied Jesse carefully before answering. “He’s feeling a little better, thanks. It’s flu season and so today his dad is home with him. I only have a little bit of time, what is it you have to give me?”  
  
Lizzie’s hands jumped to the paper in her lap protectively and Jesse had to give her arm a small nudge to get her moving again.  
  
“I found this letter,” Lizzie explained monotonously. “It was in Frank’s old bedroom at his grandparents’ house. It’s got your name on it and something I guess he wanted you to have.”  
  
Daphne disregarded the fact that the mail had been tampered with and took in a steadying breath of air as she let the ring slide out onto the desk. Carefully she picked it up and Lizzie was shocked to see the woman smile, as faint as it was.  
  
“I don’t know what your deal was, but after reading that note I think you probably messed up something that could have been a really happy ending,” Lizzie’s voice was unstable and wavering nervously.  
  
Daphne’s gaze met hers, and unlike yesterday she really listened to the teenager’s words. She said nothing in return but read the note to herself, smiling tearfully when she reached the end.  
  
“I spent a lot of time blaming myself for what happened to Frankie,” she paused Jesse from dragging Lizzie out of the room. Their job was done in his eyes, there wasn’t anything left for them to say, but Daphne wasn’t finished.  
  
“I don’t know how much you know, but believe me I was devastated when I heard. To the point where I needed therapy and put off going to university for a year. But time passes and I still don’t regret leaving when I did. I couldn’t take care of him. I couldn’t save him – I know that no matter how long I stayed there things wouldn’t get better. Not under the circumstances we were facing. And I know he couldn’t save me either. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I realized it though and he helped me pick up all the broken pieces of my life and put me back together. People seem to think I don’t miss Frankie, but I do. I had to move on, and I did, long ago. This though,” she smiled and held the note up, “is like a warm hello. And this,” she slid the ring on, “used to be a despairing thing. Now it’s memories of a great _friend._ ”  
  
Lizzie stood still with her fingers gripping into Jesse’s arm. She didn’t know what was supposed to happen next. Was there supposed to be a sign that all had been completed? Would Frank magically appear to bid them farewell? Was the balance of heaven and hell being tipped dangerously to weigh their options?  
  
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Daphne finished as she rose from her chair and came around the desk to walk them out. “It was a lot to process. Thank you for bringing this.”  
  
With little more they could do Lizzie and Jesse allowed themselves to be guided back to the receptionist’s desk.  
  
Lizzie felt like she was awaking on a gloomy morning trying to decipher whether night was over or not. She felt sleepy and confused in front of Daphne now. “Is that it?”  
  
“Sorry?” Daphne responded.  
  
“That’s just all there is?”  
  
I’m not sure what you want me to say?” Daphne spoke softly – as if consoling a child who was about to throw a tantrum. “Thank you for the note, it was nice to hear Frankie’s voice again. He always did have a way of talking me down.”  
  
“No, no that can’t just be it-“  
  
“Let’s go, Lizzie,” Jesse placed his hands firmly on her arms and turned her to the exit. “Bye, Ms. Marrington. Thanks.”  
  
Lizzie violently shook out of Jesse’s grasp once they were stood in front of the elevators. “That can’t just be all there is,” she spoke angrily. “Shouldn’t something have happened?!”  
  
“Maybe something did,” Jesse answered hesitantly. “Did you hear back from Frank yet?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie had been messaging Frank on Facebook for the hour and a half it took to get back home, but she didn’t receive a response like she normally would in a few minutes. It panicked her immensely, triggering a plethora of unhappy thoughts. She knew very little about the rules of the supernatural. She didn’t know if Frank had any kind of say or sway of when or if he chose to leave. She and Jesse might never see him again and when Lizzie last checked Facebook her heart sunk to find the message hadn’t even been read.  
  
“This is us,” Jesse’s voice was lacking its chipper and soothing quality. He waited patiently for her to follow suit as the train approached its next stop.  
  
They still had to take the bus back to their area of the city and like usual Jesse ignored the turn to his place in order to walk Lizzie home. If they were lucky enough to still have their favourite ghost around Lizzie decided she’d make hot chocolate and then they’d cheer Frank up with warm hugs and monster movies.  
  
“Oh shit,” Jesse voiced first as they approached the house.  
  
“Wha- Oh shit,” Lizzie agreed a split second later over the sight of Nikki’s car parked up front. “Didn’t you call your mom!?” Lizzie shoved Jesse’s arm. “You idiot!”  
  
“She never cares if I’m a day late. Nathe and I always go on miniature trips with friends! If I’m going to be more than a day late I call. Otherwise it doesn’t matter much, she’s pretty easy going with that stuff. Well, no, not easy going.” Jesse began arguing aloud with himself as Lizzie listened. “She can’t keep tabs on me as much as she’d probably like. She works crazy hours.”  
  
“Well whatever, she’s here now,” Lizzie spoke angrily. “What now? You’re the one who always makes up the plans! Fix this one!”  
  
“If you were my girlfriend this would be a lot easier to get out of.”  
  
Lizzie narrowed her eyes and resisted the urge to shove Jesse’s arm again. “That would just open a whole new can of worms.”  
  
“I’m just saying it would make a lot more sense for you and I to have been off together if we were dating. Otherwise why would the two of us go somewhere alone together? We would have brought friends.”  
  
“This is stupid!”  
  
“At this rate I’m just telling you what my mom might believe.”  
  
“I don’t care what your mom might believe we’re not going with that option,” Lizzie dismissed and approached the front door like it might explode at any second. She looked over her shoulder to her counterpart and Jesse provided a lopsided, sympathetic grin that encapsulated the whole trip.  
  
They felt the cold before they processed any voices and Lizzie almost burst into tears realizing the cold meant Frank was still present.  
  
“What the hell is going on, Elizabeth?” Olivia rose from the couch a mixture of anger and worry in her eyes. “Where have you been? And why have you been lying?” She hugged the layers of clothes she wore around herself snuggly while awaiting a response.  
  
Nikki was seated on the couch cupping a mug of something warm in her hands, not being as dramatic as Olivia but probably not willing to yell out her own kid in someone else’s house. Her eyes were narrowed in a venomous scowl that reminded Lizzie of Frank and she averted her gaze.  
  
“Ms. Silver,” Jesse began in his wooing way, “I can promise you that Lizzie and I were in New York. We went with some friends on a last fun ride before school ends-“  
  
“Cut the crap, Jesse,” Nikki snapped. “I saw Nathan outside the school today on my way home, you weren’t with your friends. You wouldn’t go on a spontaneous trip without him. And you told me that’s who you were going to be with.” Fidgeting in her seat and brushing violently at her shoulders Nikki shivered her way to a stance. “What the hell is wrong with the temperature in this house?”  
  
“We have yet to figure that one out since moving in,” Olivia filled in apologetically.  
  
Nikki rest a hand against the back of her neck and closed her eyes briefly. “We’re leaving. You’re not going anywhere until graduation, Jesse!”  
  
“Mom, why is this such a big deal? It’s not like I haven’t gone off like this before!”  
  
“Well now you’re dragging innocent girls along with you!”  
  
“We weren’t doing anything bad,” Jesse sounded young and naïve when speaking with his mother.  
  
“So what exactly is going on?” Olivia took over again, this time speaking to both teenagers. “Nikki and I have been sitting here worried for the past hour.”  
  
It was there in the moment; a brief shimmer, like dust caught briefly in the warm glow of light through a window. Lizzie sucked in a quick breath of air in surprise. Nikki rubbed briskly at her arms and Lizzie saw Frank’s figure wrapped around her. His arms held tightly and his nose nuzzled against her shoulder from the side. He exemplified a young boy who had been separated from his mother during closing hours at the mall. Terrified, relieved and so sad all at once.  
  
Lizzie’s head snapped in the direction of Jesse but he didn’t appear to have seen and was instead fixed on the lecture they were in the middle of receiving.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Jesse and Nikki left about fifteen minutes after Olivia’s lecture, leaving the house in a cold standstill, void of any noise other than the ticking of the clock. Lizzie imagined herself frozen in one of the many masterpiece paintings her and Jesse had seen at the Metropolitan museum. Olivia stared at her as if she might be; her expression was that of awe – incapable of understanding exactly what her daughter had been thinking and how she could pull off something so out of character.  
  
“I think you should go unpack your bag, it’s not like you’ll be taking any impromptu trips anytime soon again,” Olivia snipped.  
  
Lizzie didn’t argue and gathered up her bag to head upstairs.  
  
Isaac nodded to her when she walked by his room, but he didn’t mock or cast any ill feeling toward her, which was a bit reassuring that not everything had fallen to pieces.  
  
As soon as the door was shut a somber appearing Frank solidified slowly before her. He reached for her bag without a word and silently began taking things out and placing them in their correct locations around the room.  
  
“You’re still here,” Lizzie voiced quietly.  
  
Frank nodded slowly but still refrained from using his voice.  
  
“We saw her you know,” Lizzie explained. “We met Daphne and talked to her. She read your letter and she… Well she seems to be ok. But you’re still here,” Lizzie’s voice shrunk. “She wasn’t the answer.”  
  
Frank shook head and sat down at the edge of her bed solemnly. “No, I guess not, huh? I’m glad she’s happy.”  
  
“Are you?” Lizzie pressed unbelieving. “I think I’d be really bitter about it. I’d want to haunt the hell out of anyone who pissed me off.”  
  
Frank gave a small laugh and pulled Lizzie down next to him. Looping his arm around her waist he leaned in and rest his chin on her shoulder. “Maybe a small part of me wishes she could have at least been a little miserable. Is she still pretty?”  
  
“She’s hideous. I’ve seen prettier emus.”  
  
“An emu, what the fuck?” Frank laughed a little harder. “Aw, you’re a shitty liar, Liz. She’s beautiful.”  
  
“She did seem to miss you,” Lizzie coaxed. “She’s not angry or bitter over the time you spent together. She was a bit stand-offish at first but I think it’s because I approached her all wrong. The second time we went she was more willing to talk.”  
  
“She read my note?”  
  
“Your note made all the difference.”  
  
Frank smiled – a bit dreamily while his mind kept reassembling images of what Daphne could look like grown up – each image better than the last.  
  
“I just don’t get why you’re still here,” Lizzie pondered aloud. “I’m happy you are, it’s just I know you don’t want to be. I don’t understand what we’re supposed to do. Isn’t Daphne being happy what you wanted?”  
  
“I don’t think it’s all about me though,” Frank gave his input. “It’s kind of a two-way street. I know who the answer is though.”  
  
Lizzie’s face screwed up in thought until it came to her. “It’s Nikki.”  
  
“Nikki,” Frank agreed and backed away. “I’m so stupid for not realizing it. Of course it’s Nikki. Look at her life. And she doesn’t ever talk about me? She has no friends. When she walked in here today I knew. I could feel it. She radiates this feeling of – I don’t know. She’s so cold, Lizzie. Fuck, that’s not my sister. Not even when we were young and stupid with everything to be bitter about, she was never like that.”  
  
“What if we invite Nikki over and you show yourself to her?”  
  
Frank blinked slowly at Lizzie and she fell backwards onto the bed with a loud sigh.  
  
“Yeah, alright, that wouldn’t go over well. Why is your life so complicated?”  
  
“Aw man, the ghost life. Not all it’s chalked up to be.”  
  
Lizzie slapped a hand over her eyes and groaned. Completely still she only let her hand slide back down to the bed when she felt a wash of cold over her and opened her eyes to be face to face with Frank who had crawled onto the bed and was hovering over her.  
  
“Hey,” his lips ghosted over hers. “Thanks.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Lizzie breathed unevenly. Her hands reached up to grip his forearms tightly. She wanted him closer. So much closer. So much more than flesh against flesh.  
  
“Frankie,” she mumbled against his lips when an idea struck her.  
  
“Hm?” he responded lazily and lifted his head.  
  
“Can you, like, get inside me?”  
  
Frank backed up clumsily and almost fell onto the floor. “What? Lizzie we can’t, you know that. We’ve been through-“  
  
“No,” she startled and sat up quickly waving her hands. “No, no, that came out wrong. Not like that! I know that!”  
  
Frank appeared to relax slightly and ran a hand through his hair. “Ok, not like that, what do you mean then?”  
  
“It sounds dirty however I word it,” Lizzie contemplated aloud. “You can walk through things, and through people. Can you…stay? Inside them?”  
  
“Can I possess you, you mean?” Frank raised an eyebrow curiously.  
  
“That’s what I mean! Can you enter me?”  
  
“Oh baby, I can enter you,” Frank teased with a grin. “So hard.”  
  
“Shut up,” Lizzie blushed and folded her arms against her chest. “I have a plan here. I’m serious.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Frank sat at her feet looking up at her. “What are you thinking?”  
  
“I don’t know why we never thought to do it before! Could you leave the house? If you possessed me? Could you get out of here?”  
  
“Whoa, Liz, I don’t know,” he shook her leg gently to make her pause. “That’s a pretty tall order. And I don’t know how long I could take control, it’s not like I’ve had a lot of practice.”  
  
“But you have done it before!”  
  
“I may or may not have attempted to possess your brother…”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“I was bored! He doesn’t remember it anyway! It lasted like, a minute, and all I did was play video games anyway. Nothing I can’t do already, just in someone else’s body.”  
  
“He doesn’t know it happened?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“I won’t remember it?”  
  
“Does that scare you?” Frank’s voice softened. “Hey, this was your idea. I still don’t understand what you think this is going to accomplish. I don’t know if we can go outside, I haven’t tried it.”  
  
“Do it.”  
  
“Now? Right now? You’re serious?”  
  
“I want to know if it works. Take us outside.”  
  
Frank was quiet for a few seconds as he stared at the girl that inhabited his old bedroom. There was a heaviness between them; a silent cry for the unknown depths they were about to explore.  
  
“What are you waiting for?” Lizzie encouraged nervously. “I’m not scared.”  
  
“You’re terrified,” Frank called out her lie. “You’re freaking out right now. This isn’t the same as when your hand goes through mine, Lizzie. This isn’t me walking through a wall.”  
  
“I’m not scared of you,” Lizzie narrowed her eyes boldly. “You wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”  
  
Frank hesitated and paced on the spot. “No more than three minutes.”  
  
“Fine.”  
  
“I won’t do anything stupid.”  
  
“I believe you.”  
  
“Fuck. Ok. Ok, let’s do this.”  
  
Lizzie sucked in a breath of air and stood directly in front of the dead boy in her room. “What do I have to do?”  
  
“Nothing,” Frank placed his hands on her arms gently and gradually drifted into invisibility. Still, Lizzie felt his grip and smiled trustingly.  
  
“Three minutes,” Frank reminded.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“Lizzie, where do you think you’re going?” Olivia’s voice was stern. “And without your jacket? What the hell is wrong with you?!”  
  
Lizzie startled and took in her surroundings. Her breath was short and she felt as if she were gasping for air after swimming. The wind felt warm on her skin compared to how she felt inside; like she had been on ice; a morgue; dead. Life was rushing back into her and it was an overwhelming sensation. Was this how Frank always felt? “I-I’m fine. I just- I thought I forgot something outside. Shiny. It was nothing, I’ll go back inside.”  
  
“You damn well better,” Olivia continued to shout. “You’re grounded don’t forget! I can’t believe you. Upstairs, now!”  
  
Lizzie hurried back into the house and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Frank was waiting for her there with the biggest smile on his face. “I felt it, Lizzie!”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Alive!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	35. Chapter 35

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:**

  * _“Raise a Little Hell” – Trooper_
  * _“Kiss Me Like Nobody’s Watching” – Simple Plan_
  * _“Story of My Life” – MxPx_
  * _“Ghost” – Ella Henderson_



 ........................................................................................................................................................

 

“Jesse, are you coming down for lunch today?” Nathan approached from halfway down the school hall. With the lunch bell having just rung students were bustling around and chatting up a storm, but Nathan’s voice carried over the noise loud enough for Jesse to hear. “It’s wiener Wednesday, man!”

 

“Whose wiener?” Jesse responded loudly.

 

“Yours if you pass up hanging out again. It’s been over a week!”

 

“I’m having lunch with Lizzie today, what’s on Friday’s menu?”

 

Nathan pressed both hands against his chest and did a little wiggle to emphasize a point.

 

“Nice,” Jesse exclaimed. “I love breasts! What kind are they?”

 

“Chicken,” Nathan called from the staircase. “Bye, Lizzie!”

 

“I meant cup size,” Jesse quipped and Lizzie gave a nod of acknowledge Nathan’s greeting.

 

Nathan waved him off with a laugh and Jesse turned to Lizzie who was sat on the window ledge smiling at him. He kicked off on his skateboard to join her and plunked down with a huff. “What’s for lunch?”

 

Lizzie rolled her eyes and tore her strawberry jelly sandwich in half. “Here.”

 

The teenaged boy took the sandwich eagerly and took a big bite. There wasn’t much conversation between them and Jesse’s eyes were wide and hardly blinking as he examined every passing person. “Hey,” he answered coolly to the ones who smiled, winked or voiced a hello. He was frequent with fist bumps since Nathan fist bumped him on Monday and he reserved hugs for all his female friends when they came by.

 

“Lizzie, let’s go for a walk,” he jumped up suddenly and crammed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth.

 

“It’s freezing out, are you crazy?” Lizzie frowned up at him. “No.”

 

With a mouth full of bread he resorted to tugging on her arms and hands  annoyingly while he finished chewing.

 

“No!”

 

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” he whined. “A short walk! Just around the block.”

 

“That’s what you said yesterday. Your once around the block was looped five times!”

 

“Then I promise this time,” he insisted and fiddled with the lock on his locker. He pulled out his jacket and backpack casually and did a little dance in front of Lizzie as he dressed himself.

 

“What do you need your backpack for?” Lizzie sighed knowingly and unfazed by Jesse’s silly dancing charades.

 

“Let’s just skip the rest of the day. Let’s go somewhere. The café, the library, the grocery store, I don’t care. Just somewhere. I’m bored of this setting.”

 

“School isn’t supposed to be all too thrilling,” Lizzie reasoned but went a long with her friend’s actions by tucking away what remained of her lunch and moved to her own locker. “That’s why so many complain about it.”

 

“Blah, blah, blah,” Jesse mocked and ruffled his hair. “I’m aging here, Elizabeth, let’s go!” He grabbed Lizzie’s hand as soon as her locker was shut and yanked her to the stairs so fast she almost tripped over her own feet.

 

“Slow down,” she hissed.

 

Jesse looked over his shoulder at her and grinned unapologetically.

 

At the bottom of the stairs they were approached by Ericka, who Lizzie was now familiar with from Literature class. She paused Jesse in his tracks and shook his shoulder playfully.

 

“I was just coming upstairs to find you! Are you coming to my party this weekend? Seems like my parents have short-term memory loss and are trusting me with the house and liquor cabinet again.”

 

“Are they trusting you with _boys_ at your party too?” Jesse leaned in closer with a suggestive smirk.

 

A wide and pleasantly surprised smile spread across Ericka’s lips. “Probably not, but I’ll take my chances.”

 

“I’ll try to clear my weekend then,” Jesse’s lips came dangerously close to Ericka’s mouth and Lizzie took that as a cue to intervene.

 

Grabbing the back of Jesse’s jacket it was her turn to drag him around and they quickly ended up outside where she glared angrily at the boy in front of her. His eyes – normally a solid green colour, flashed hazel in the light. “You can’t do that!”

 

“Do what?” Jesse scoffed and moved around her to begin their walk. “I didn’t do anything.”

 

“You almost kissed her!”

 

“And? What would be so bad about that? Jesse would probably thank me, she clearly has the hots for him.”

 

“Even if he did , you’re not him and that’s not fair.”

 

“Ugh, what good is being alive if I can’t kiss a few girls?”

 

“Nowhere in the agreement did we approve you kissing random girls,” Lizzie reminded.

 

“Jesse has pretty nice lips, he’s probably a decent kisser. Have you kissed him before?”

 

“No!”

 

“So defensive! Are you blushing? When are you just going to admit you like him?”

 

“Shut up, Frank.”

 

“I want you to know I still hope you both get over this stupid game you’ve got going on and kiss. I ship it.”

 

“Please never use the word ‘ship’ again in that way.”

 

“What would your shipping name even be?” Frank carried on aloud and it was still odd for Lizzie to watch. Sometimes Frank was so much like Jesse she could entirely forget that the real Jesse was somewhere lost in himself, completely unaware and even incapable of waiting to awaken again. “Oh my God,” Jesse’s voice hit a higher pitch with laughter and Lizzie couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t know what she was smiling over more though; Jesse’s laughter or Frank’s happiness.

 

“Your shipping name would be Jizz. Jizz, Lizzie! That’s great. Now I know for sure you’re meant to be. Tumblr would be all over that shit.”

 

For the last few days Lizzie had been experiencing high school with Frank. As close as they could get at least. It made things more complicated given the fact that Jesse was so well known. He’d gone through the year book a few times with Frank when they’d skipped an afternoon of school to educate the ghost boy on updated etiquettes of high school and how to act around specific people Jesse knew. But Frank was quick to catch on, and with all the information he’d searched on Lizzie’s computer the last few months she’s known him, he was pretty up to date with slang. Even Nathan had been fooled by the fake Jesse they had going around, which held up well with their ultimate goal of having Frank come face-to-face with Nikki.

 

Lizzie stiffened suddenly when Frank slung an around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. “You look cold,” he voiced the reason behind his action. “Are you cold? This isn’t cold, Lizzie. I know cold and this is lukewarm.”

 

Yes, Lizzie was cold. Yes Lizzie wanted to hug Frank but it was weird. Frank was Jesse right now and she couldn’t imagine being that cuddly with Frank’s nephew. In normal circumstances she wouldn’t, so it felt like she’d be crossing a boundary with Jesse.

 

“I’m fine,” she answered and gently tugged away, hoping she wasn’t being too rude or awkward. If she was though, Frank didn’t notice and let his gaze wander excitedly. He was always ecstatic to be outside, and why shouldn’t he after his years long case of the stir crazy blues?

 

“There’s the bus, quick-” Frank started running before he’d even finished his sentence and Lizzie ran after the boy ahead of her. With her backpack loaded with a binder and heavy textbook she felt unbalanced and slid around in the snow and ice haphazardly until she reached the bus Frank was already climbing onto. Like the time before, and the time before that Lizzie paid for that “ _stupid punk_ ” who bounced onto the bus without so much as a nod of acknowledgment to the driver.

 

“Didn’t you ever have to pay for rides?” Lizzie chided Frank at the back of the bus where he was pressed up against the window to catch glimpses of everything he could.

 

“She never liked when I called her a ride,” Frank answered without pause and wiggled his eyebrows cunningly at her. Then it might as well be that Lizzie had disappeared completely the way Frank blocked all but the window and scenery out for the brief ride.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Being dead for so long left Frank with very little fear of moving cars and other people. Lizzie in turn was nervous anytime the ghost grabbed her hand because he didn’t know if he was going to do something cute or dart through traffic.

 

“That used to be a corner store I went to,” Frank pointed to a boarded up building animatedly.

 

He’d told Lizzie this already, but she listened like it was the first time she was being told and responded accordingly. “What was it like?”

 

“It smelled like liquorice. And it was super easy to smuggle beer out of there.  Well, anything, really. We swiped a lot of shit from them; chips, soda, gum- Do you have any gum?”

 

“At home,  yeah.”

 

Lizzie watched Jesse’s figure turn in a full circle until a smile lit up his face and he grabbed for her hand.

 

“Oh no,” Lizzie muttered under her breath as they ran into the street. “Frank! Slow down! Watch that kid! There’s a car coming!  I’m going to fall! Where are we even going?!”

 

“Let’s buy gum,” he giggled happily. “And then we can go to the mall. Stick the gum under the food court tables!”

 

“…What?” Lizzie panted for air. “That’s stupid, why would we- _Slow down_ , Frank!”

 

The ghost continued to run up the side walk, dodging around a man and hopping over an ice block that Lizzie so conveniently tripped over. If she were to fall she was sure Frank would continue to drag her anyway so she willed herself to stay standing and moving.

  
Thankful for the people who invented sensors, sliding doors and the wonderful combination of the two an out of breath Lizzie enjoyed the briefest moment in which they paused so Frank could pretend to summon the doors open, and then they were off again.

 

“Where’s the candy aisle?” he called over his shoulder to Lizzie and turned a corner sharply when a worker shouted for them to slow down.

 

“Watch those kids,” another worker yelled and Lizzie’s eyes grew wide with worry over being caught.

 

“Frank, slow down,” she tugged back hard on his arm with little result. “We’re going to get into trouble.”

 

“Quit being so chicken shit, Elizabeth,” Frank scoffed and whipped around the next aisle before skidding to a halt in front of a man.

 

“You two brats again,” Bob’s voice was calm, but it still felt like a bellow with the way his eyes narrowed, not in anger, but annoyance that he’d been assigned to deal with them. “What the hell is it you think you’re doing?”

 

“Bob?” It was Frank speaking, but all Lizzie could hear was the innocence of Jesse’s tone. She hadn’t given a second thought to the grocery store they were running into, or better yet, _who_ they could possibly run into by wandering around town. Frank didn’t want to know where everyone had ended up, but now he was forced to deal with a portion of reality he’d secluded himself from. And maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that he had to confront Bob now. After all, he’d been upset knowing anything because he couldn’t help, but now that he was in a human body, virtually nothing was stopping him.

 

“Too many crackers in your soup?  What’s up with this one?” He stuck out his thumb in Jesse’s direction and nodded at Lizzie for an answer.

 

“I don’t know, he’s always weird,” Lizzie stared right back at Bob, unblinking.

 

“I don’t have time for this shit,” the older man muttered. “Just quit running in the store. You topple something over and you can waste your time stacking it all back up neatly. And don’t even think about stealing anything,” he pointed directly at Jesse. “You got that, kid?”

 

“Bob Bryar is telling _me_ not to steal?” Frank’s lips turned up in a grin.

 

“Hey, you little snot, is that a shot at me for serving time?”

 

“You served time?” Frank’s mouth hung open in surprise. “-The fuck did you do?”

 

“ _Jesse_ ,” Lizzie emphasized and gripped Frank’s wrist tightly to remind him who he was supposed to be in the moment. “We already know all about that, remember? Ray told us.”

 

Frank turned his head quickly and startled, “Shit, right, yeah. I remember. Sorry. You know what it is? I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. It’s the most important meal of the day and I skipped it! I’m hungry. Good thing we’re in a grocery store! That we _won’t_ steal from. “ He winked and did a cheesy little jig on the spot.

 

Lizzie bit down on her lip so hard she almost drew blood, but she had to in order to keep from a burst of laughter. Frank was really overdoing Jesse’s personality and yet, at the same time, it was scarily accurate.

 

“Yo, whatever, just don’t cause a scene, or I’ll call your mother,” Bob threatened. “And if I’m remembering correctly, a pissed off Nikki is scarier than any correctional officer I’ve ever met.”

 

“Well you’re not wrong,” Frank agreed. “Nice seeing you…again, Bryar. Hope life’s good. I mean, the jail thing probably sucks, but otherwise, you know?”

 

Bob pulled a puzzled expression and shook his head slowly, “Just quit being little shits in the store.”

 

Lizzie gave a small wave and Bob disappeared to another aisle, leaving the two alone with the cereal.

 

“Are you ok?” Lizzie dropped her voice.

 

“I can’t believe that was Bob,” Frank gushed excitedly. “I actually talked to him, Liz! Me! Well not me, but still! I talked to him, it was great! He thinks I’m insane, but that’s fine. It was really Bob. He’s so fucking old!  Would I look that old? Oh my God, that’s nuts. Nikki still looks so pretty, hey? She doesn’t look her age. We had the same parents, so maybe I wouldn’t look my age either. Shit, do the others look ancient too?”

 

Lizzie stood stunned over her ghost friend’s reaction to the entire encounter. She’s expected some shock, some sadness and maybe even a pinch of relief or joy, but Frank was acting like he’d met his favourite celebrity and had them gift him a million dollars, just because they were in a generous mood.

 

Jesse’s eyes flashed hazel when their gaze met and Lizzie came up with an idea. “Would you want to see for yourself, Frankie? I know that this was something you were super against before, but… It makes it a bit different now, doesn’t it? If you can actually converse with them yourself, and ask them just the things you’d want to know?”

 

“You mean visit everyone?” Frank inquired softly while examining the back of a box of _Froot Loops_.

 

“Well not everyone today, but, yeah,” Lizzie cocked her head to the side gently and studied Jesse’s familiar facial features. His expression was pensive, and when he started chewing the left side of his bottom lip, Lizzie identified the quirk as one of Frank’s, minus the lip ring.

 

“I don’t know, Liz.”

 

“Look at it this way,” she attempted to seal the deal, “it’ll be even more practise… _Better_ practise for when you’re ready to speak with Nikki. This time these are your friends, not Jesse’s. You’ll have to remember to separate you from Jesse for sure. You can’t say anything Jesse wouldn’t know. What do you think?”

 

Jesse’s whole body heaved a sigh. “I think I want these _Froot Loops_ and some gum.”

 

“Frankie.”

 

“Ok, ok, we’ll do it. We’ll go see them. Yeah, I want to.”

 

Lizzie checked her phone and tried to estimate bus travel times in her head. “I think, that if we can buy your stupid cereal and gum and hop on a bus within the next fifteen or twenty minutes, we should be able to… Well maybe. See Gerard today.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

“Tell me about Bob,” Frank flicked a piece of cereal at Lizzie’s head on their walk from the bus stop down Gerard’s street. Lizzie could recall the time she ended up at Gerard’s house after becoming confused by the bus schedule. That was the time Mikey had picked her up because Gerard was in Japan on vacation. She could only cross her fingers that today was one of those days Gerard decided to be a hermit.

 

“He’s kind of jerk, Frank.”

 

A giggle sounded from the boy’s mouth and Frank tossed another piece of cereal into the air and caught it in his…well, Jesse’s mouth. “He’s just stubborn like you is all. He’s so blunt though, huh? It was always so funny. But tell me what you know about this jail business. What the hell did he get arrested for? That’s insane! I know he’d been kicked out of his old school for some bullshit he pulled, but he was never violent with us. Actually, he was pretty chill for the most part.”

 

“Stealing and bar fights is what Ray told us,” Lizzie filled in. “So I guess your theft comments hit a nerve.”

 

“Did he win the fights at least?”

 

“How should I know? “

 

“I’m just making conversation! So he works at a grocery store now. Is there anything worse than customer service? Like, I’m a _ghost_ and customer service sounds like a _worse_ fate.”

 

“Mhm,” Lizzie was only partially listening to Frank’s rambling and glanced at the ground behind her. “You’re dropping more cereal than you are eating.”

 

Frank peered over his shoulder to examine what Lizzie was complaining about and shrugged uncaringly. “Oh man, what a pity… Are we there yet? –The hell did Gee set his roots, the boondocks?”

 

“We’re almost there, stop whining. It’s not like the cold bothers you.”

 

“No, but I was never a fan of cardio workouts. I always thought Gee would hole himself up in an apartment. You know, the crazy artist persona? Canvas all over the walls and paint spilled across the floor.”

 

“Well we’re, like, eight houses away now and then you can see where he wound up.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Frank counted eleven houses to prove Lizzie wrong before he  paused in front of the correct house to examine. “Quaint,” he summed up. “A bit sketch, but overall quaint. Very Gee. I bet it’s a fucking jungle of weeds here in the summer. Imagine that kid trying to mow a lawn.”

 

Frank appeared calm and nonchalant in his mannerism, but Lizzie knew that his nonstop need to joke and jabber was a coping mechanism to deal with his onset nerves. Luckily they didn’t have to prolong their meet with Gerard. Unlike the first time Lizzie had met the estranged artist with Jesse, she and Frank didn’t even have to ring the doorbell.

 

“Do you two attend school?” Gerard’s peculiar voice greeted them. He pushed the screen door open  slowly with its usual creaking sound as a gesture for them to come in. “Shoes off, please.”

 

Lizzie offered Frank a little smile before she stepped inside first and automatically pulled her boots off. Frank followed suit and the two turned around the corner into the same room Lizzie and Jesse had met with Gerard in the first time.

 

Sitting down on the couch with a certain confidence she’d been lacking the first time she met Gerard, Lizzie watched Frank pace around the room slowly to explore the walls.

 

“I assume orange juice is still fine by you,” Gerard entered the room with three glasses on a tray, just as he had their previous visit. “Still no arsenic,” he eyed Lizzie specifically, making her feel just a wee bit like slime again for her initial presumptions. Gerard was not a threat, he was just unique, and really into dark clothing.

 

Frank turned away from the painting he was staring at and instead focused on his aged friend from high school. He’d blurted out words to Bob, but with Gerard he appeared more cautious and almost hesitant to say anything at all. Which was troublesome for Lizzie on several accounts, the main one being that that last time they’d spoken to Gerard, it had been Jesse who led the conversation. The other reason being that Lizzie really had no reason to be in Gerard’s house again.

 

“Have you two had all your questions answered on your quest yet?” Gerard began. “Or are you back here because you’ve reached a dead end?”

 

“Uh,” Lizzie droned and eyed Frank. “Well we met Gloria. She answered most things for us. We met Daphne too.”

 

“Oh,” Gerard’s voice was hollow. “Well then you must both be pretty content then.”

 

“This is some cool art,” Jesse’s voice finally chimed into the conversation and captured the attention of the artist. “Did you paint these ones?”

 

“Yes,” Gerard went along with the change in subject flawlessly.

 

“Did you go to art school or something?”

 

“Yes,” Gerard continued to give simple responses. He didn’t exactly sound bored by the questions, but he did sound as if he’d been asked the same question an absurd amount of times.

 

Frank suddenly moved to the couch and sat down. “Hey, Gee, you have this comic series you never finished. How come?” He leaned forward with terrible posture and cocked his head to the side slightly while awaiting an answer.

 

While Frank had drawn closer, Gerard had leaned back and eyed the boy oddly. “Not very many people refer to me as ‘Gee’ anymore, where did you pick that nickname up from?”

 

“Mikey,” Frank dismissed easily with a small smirk.

 

“I suppose you would have, yes,” Gerard appeared to reassure himself more than anyone else, but it didn’t do much to ease his mind over Jesse it seemed. “Well there are many projects I have on hiatus, which one in specific are you referring?”

 

“You know which one,” Frank snorted. “It didn’t end on a very nice note. I don’t think I’m much of a fan of it.”

 

“You have very strong opinions for someone who wasn’t present.”

 

The teenaged boy stared unblinking at Gerard for over ten seconds. Enough time for Lizzie to wonder if Frank had a glitch and needed some kind of nudge to get going again. When she glanced him from the corner of her eye she realized he was struggling for words. Maybe the moment of being in Gerard’s presence hit him, but he momentarily seemed incapable of speaking.

 

“Well it’s a good comic otherwise,” she quickly blurted out on his behalf.

 

Gerard shifted his gaze to her and then back to the boy he knew as Jesse. “Sometimes a person just loses inspiration for something. That series was based on my friends and I. It ends the way it does because I lost interest.”

 

“Or you don’t like how it ended,” Frank stared off at the same cat clock Lizzie had been transfixed by during her first visit and quirked an eyebrow judgingly.

 

“Or I don’t know _how_ it should have ended,” Gerard didn’t wait a beat to counter. “You’re smart kids, you know Riley is Frank and the shadowed girl is Daphne. None of us know how it would have ended. I thought that maybe creating that series would be closure, but when I finished that frame I realized I didn’t have anywhere else to go with it. I don’t know the rest of the story.”

 

“Frank died. Smashed the car, and succumbed to his injuries in the middle of a chilly night.”

 

“Candid, thank you for that,” Gerard guarded his feelings with a monotonous reply. “I assure you I’m well aware of the gruesome facts. Everyone who tuned into the news that weeks is aware of what occurred that _chilly_ night.”

 

“Alright, so then what did _you_ do?”

 

Gerard picked up his glass, “I’m afraid you’ve lost me, please explain.”

 

“Really, Gee? I’m saying that you know the ending to Frank’s story in your comic, but what did the rest of the gang do next? Where’s their story? Did you _all_ perish on that chilly night?”

 

“We might as well have,” Gerard put his glass back down without taking a drink.

 

“Well that’s stupid,” Jesse slumped back against the back of the couch and nudged Lizzie’s arm. “Stupid, hey? I liked Gemma in the series, but I guess because Riley’s story was cut short hers was too. After one stopped living they all did.”

 

Lizzie gave Frank what she hoped came across as a warning look and dared to look at a now mystified Gerard.

 

“And even if Daphne did break up with Frank, why does that make her the villain in a comic?” Frank carried on when no one decided to answer. “You should work on it again. Finish Riley off and let the rest of the gang carry on. Or make the shadowed girl disappear into a parallel universe! It’s fiction based on real life isn’t it? Anything can happen! Maybe Riley’s actually a cyborg. That’d be pretty sweet. No, no! A body possessing ghost.”

 

The room fell silent as Frank leaned back and let a satisfied smirk lift the corners of his mouth.

 

Gerard’s complexion, if possible blanched over his last words and his hands folded and unfolded in his lap. But as uncomfortable as Frank’s words seemed to make him feel he held the teenage boy’s gaze. “Maybe,” he muttered. “Frank probably would approve of a crazy plot twist.”

 

“I mean, I’m not Frank, but probably,” Jesse’s shoulders shrugged and he smiled mock-innocence.


	36. Chapter 36

Musical inspiration for this chapter:

  * _“Just Can’t Get Enough” – Depeche Mode_
  * _“Being Here” – The Stills_
  * _“Bang Bang” – Danger Danger_
  * _“Rose-Colored Boy” - Paramore_



....................................................................................................................

 

The restaurant was almost vacated of the Saturday lunch rush at McDonald’s, so it was the perfect time for Lizzie to stop by in order to check in with Jesse. Communication in the 21st century was a great deal more tricky when someone you knew didn’t have a cellphone in their grip at all times. A sad but fact checking reality. If Lizzie needed to contact Jesse in the state of an emergency she’d have to risk Nikki answering the ‘family’ phone, as Jesse put it. In fact, it was Nikki’s cellphone, but up until Jesse owned his own phone it was the family phone.

 

So either Lizzie called, e-mailed and hoped he surfed the internet regularly, or showed up at his work.

 

A girl at the counter welcomed Lizzie and asked for her order immediately, but Lizzie was less concerned with eating than she was berating Jesse with questions. “Is Jesse working today?”

 

“Oh, yeah, he’ll be right back, he just went to throw some trash out.”

 

“I’ll just wait over here,” Lizzie awkwardly pointed to the side, seeing as there was no one behind her. A family in the corner was finishing up their lunch and a five year old kid stared at her as he bit a chunk out of a chicken nugget. Lizzie averted her gaze and recalled yesterday. ‘Chicken Friday’. Frank had stuck to his word and attended lunch with Nathan and his friends, leaving Lizzie a bundle of nerves and crossing every appendage that he didn’t go and mess it all up with one stupid sentence without her there to bail him out.

 

“Hey, Lizzie! It’s weird, I guess I saw you just yesterday, but I feel like I haven’t properly seen you in over a week.”

 

Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and caught a glimpse of the girl behind the counter watching. Not to mention feeling the stare of the chicken nugget child behind her. “Do you have a break anytime soon?”

 

“I can take it now,” he agreed and came around the side of the counter to stand with her. He lacked some colour in his face, and while it was noticeable Jesse didn’t let on to feeling ill, so Lizzie didn’t say anything about it. He motioned for her to follow him to the back of the restaurant and they sat down at a table to converse. “How’s life, Lizzie Silver? What’s new? What kind of weird conspiracies have I been involved in lately at school?”

 

“Too many to list,” Lizzie dismissed the question. “Save that conversation for another time. What’s going on with the Ray situation? Did you get in contact with him?”

 

Disappointed with her response Jesse leaned his chin into the palm of his hand lazily and lost a bit of his usual thrive. “Work’s busy but he can meet up next week Wednesday after school at the usual café.”

 

“And Mikey?”

 

“I haven’t talked to him yet. I’ve been kind of wrapped up lately and it really limits the time I have to communicate with people. Can’t you tell me anything about school? Am I at least keeping up in classes?”

 

Lizzie’s expression softened with his words and she gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. Yes, you’re doing great in classes. Frankie’s surprisingly great at academics. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you aced the test we had in Literature on Thursday. He’s a pretty close impersonator, no one at school seems to suspect a thing. Even Nathan is sold. Apparently lunch yesterday was one of the best ones ever.”

 

“Wow, I didn’t realize I was so replaceable,” Jesse gave a small, bitter chuckle. “I guess that’s good though. Apparently I’m going to a party tonight. I didn’t know that until Nathan dropped by this morning asking what time he should pick me up at.”

 

“You’re going to that?” Lizzie felt her stomach tighten and tapped her fingers on the table for a distraction.

 

“Well, yeah, Ericka’s my friend, it’d be rude to tell her one thing and not follow through. Frank…well, _I_ , said I’d go, so I will.”

 

“Ok,” Lizzie stared down at her hand and then sighed. “I should go. I just wanted to know about Ray. So Wednesday after school at the café.”

 

“I still have some time left,” Jesse tried to prolong her exit. “Yeah, the café after school. Tell me more about the meeting with Gerard. What else did you guys discuss?”

 

“Not too much,” Lizzie explained and began to pull her hat on. “Frank asked him some questions about his wife and fist bumped him…which was totally lame and confusing as hell to Gerard, but all in all it went as smoothly as it probably could. Frank talked nonstop on the way home about all the crazy stuff Gerard conjured up in Art class at school when they were teens.”  

 

Jesse’s gaze fell to dismay as he watched his friend continue to dress. “You can’t wait to get away from me,” he voiced his thoughts. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No,” Lizzie startled. “I just figured it’s your break and all. You probably have stuff to do or-“

 

“I think a break means the opposite, actually. Besides, this is one of the best breaks I’ve ever had.”

 

“Uh, ok,” Lizzie sat back down and gave a small, nervous laugh. “What did you want to talk about?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

“Where exactly did you go?” were the first words Lizzie was met with when she entered the house. While Olivia had been mildly forgiving since the day Lizzie and Jesse had returned from New York she was still highly against Lizzie venturing anywhere without providing valid and complete information of her whereabouts. There was to be no more overnight stays anywhere until she was living on her own. Lizzie was _really_ hoping that rule would slide in a few weeks because it was too embarrassing to fathom. Who knew how long she’d still be living at home? She didn’t want to be a thirty-four year old unable to leave the house at night.

 

“I was gone an hour,” Lizzie wanted to yank her own hair out.

 

Olivia frowned and blocked the staircase so Lizzie couldn’t take refuge in her bedroom with a slammed shut door. “Don’t give me attitude, Elizabeth. It’s not the amount of time I’m concerned with it’s that you once again didn’t tell me _where_ you were going or _when_ you were going. Isaac had to tell me you went out when I went upstairs to talk to you.”

 

Lizzie leaned against the wall and held back a sigh of annoyance that would more than likely further agitate her mom. “When we first moved here you were concerned when I didn’t go out enough and now you’re concerned when I _do_ go out.”

 

“Not to New York for several days with a boy I barely know!”

 

“Are we going to have the whole New York talk _again_ , Mom? Several was, like, three and a half days, stop saying it like I was gone a week. _No_ Jesse and I did _not_ sleep together. _No_ Jesse and I are _not_ dating, kissing, snuggling, anything. Nothing like that. He’s my friend and we just wanted to see New York, that’s all. And besides, you thought Jesse was a young gentleman or whatever, so stop acting like he’s an escaped convict now.”

 

Olivia glowered but took a calming breath, making Lizzie silently ponder if Olivia had recently been digging through her parenting books in hope of finding answers to cure her stubborn teenaged daughter. “All I want from you is honesty. Where were you?”

 

“I went to see Jesse at his work,” Lizzie shrugged and was then granted admission to the staircase.

 

“Thank you. Dinner will be around six.”

 

“Fine.”

 

As if jumping one hurdle wasn’t enough, the second pounced Lizzie the moment she closed her bedroom door. Granted, this hurdle was a great deal more pleasant and had a sweet giggle.

 

“Now I for sure know where you get this grudge thing from. Your mom!”

 

“Do not,” Lizzie continued to her dresser to pull a sweatshirt on.

 

“Denying the truth doesn’t make it any less true, but on to more important shit,” Frank followed so closely behind Lizzie that she nearly pulled the sweater overtop of herself _and_ the ghost. “Did Jesse get it all sorted out?”

 

“We’re meeting with Ray after school on Wednesday. I’m still surprised you want to see Ray,” Lizzie turned around to face Frank but was instead met with the air and nothing else. “Frank?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“…I can’t see you again.”

 

“Oh. Wait a second.”

 

Lizzie shifted her weight from one leg to the to the other patiently. Frank felt fine most days, but every so often Lizzie would find him under the covers of her bed when she got home like it made a difference for his body temperature. Other days he would drift in and out of invisibility without warning or control.

 

Like flickering of static on a television Frank reappeared and grimaced like he was having the worst ghost hangover in existence.

 

“Are you alright?” Lizzie moved forward and reached to touch his arm. Her hand went through him, the cold against her hand like dry ice vapor.

 

“Yeah, just takes a minute,” Frank reassured. “It’s probably all the jumping around from ghost to human form lately.”

 

“Maybe,” Lizzie chose to agree to make both herself and Frank feel better about the unknown. When her hand made physical contact with his arm she breathed a sigh of relief and carried on as if the whole ordeal hadn’t even happened. “Why do you want to see Ray? I thought you hated him?”

 

“Not hate,” Frank immediately disagreed and pinched Lizzie’s arm, just because he _could_. He giggle childishly when she pinched him back and proceeded to finish his brief explanation. “I just want to hear what he has to say.”

 

“This entire experience is a really weird high school reunion story.”

 

“Pretty sure all high school reunions are weird.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

“Tell me why again it’s never you I possess for outings?” Frank voiced about a quarter of the way to the café they were meeting Ray at. Frank carried Jesse’s backpack sloppily over his shoulder, constantly having to pull it back up. Jesse tended to hold his backpack over both shoulders, gripping the straps like an overeager first grader. It wasn’t anything Lizzie had really noticed until lately, but when Frank started readjusting his backpack more than she had to her bra strap, it really stood out.

 

Bras. “Because,” Lizzie gave him an accusing look. “You’d…do stuff if you went unsupervised for an extended period of time.”

 

“Aw, c’mon,” Frank whined, “I won’t fondle your tits _too_ much.”

 

“Not just that,” Lizzie blushed and shoved Frank playfully.

 

“What else is there?” Frank wondered out loud. His eyes - Jesse’s eyes - looked Lizzie up and down until settling on her middle region briefly. “Ooohhh,” he dragged out and slung an arm around her shoulders. “Liz! I could figure out tampons, c’mon! Like a nosebleed, yeah? Just shove-“

 

“Stop,” Lizzie pushed him off again with laughter, “You couldn’t manage being a girl. And I don’t want to not remember things. Jesse’s pretty great for letting you do all this.”

 

“He’s a decent nephew,” Frank agreed. “I mean, I won’t get to experience PMS, but I guess that’s alright. No multiple orgasms though, that sucks.”

 

“Be careful how you talk to Ray,” Lizzie lectured on a different topic.

 

“Why? Is Ray a nun?”

 

“I don’t want you to mess everything up during this conversation just because you want to discuss multiple orgasms or something.”

 

“Who the hell doesn’t want to discuss orgasms?!”

 

“Frank!”

 

“Fine! I’ll be good for Ray the nun.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Ray was on his laptop as he was the first time Lizzie had seen him. The only difference was now that Ray had met her, he greeted her automatically with a pleasant smile and vigorously cheerful handshake. “Hi, Lizzie, how are you? Hi, Jesse, it’s nice to see you again!”

 

Lizzie returned the polite greeting and Frank, no surprise, went for a fist bump.

 

Ray chuckled over the greeting and invited both teenagers to take a seat across from him. “So what’s this meeting about? Did you track down the information you were looking for?” Ray didn’t give them a chance to respond as he bounced energetically in his seat. “I dug up some more pictures for you to see! Some real gems of your uncle in this batch, Jesse!”

 

“Oh yeah?” Frank leaned forward with interest, “from school?”

 

“School, parties, a couple of his band’s gigs,” Ray enthused and turned his laptop around.

 

“Oh shit,” Frank laughed and pulled the computer closer to better examine the digital copy of an old photograph of himself and Gerard pulling ridiculous faces for the camera. “See, Liz, look how young Gee used to look,” Frank nudged her arm.

 

“Wait until you see this next one then,” Ray chuckled and pulled up a pictures of himself and Mikey dressed up for Halloween; Ray dressed as Slash and Mikey a vampire.

 

“I remember that Halloween,” Frank exclaimed.

 

“It must be the one Mikey talked to us about, hey, _Jesse_?” Lizzie reminded. It was becoming routine for Lizzie to have to drag Frank back to the present when meeting up with the old gang. Giving him gentle reminders not to let on to all the information he really had, having lived it with them.

 

If Ray even noticed the small slip-up he didn’t acknowledge it and happily clicked to another pictures of himself and Frank, this time as they dragged who Lizzie assumed by the blond hair was Bob outside. Bob looked unresponsive – probably passed out, which Ray confirmed.

 

“We’d been out drinking a few beers at the park,” Ray explained. “Bob drank too much though and Frank and I had to drag his butt home.”

 

“Looks like you and Frank didn’t mind much though,” Lizzie pointed out the fact that both Ray and Frank were in the middle of laughing in the picture.

 

“Oh boy, anything could be made fun if Frankie was present,” Ray smiled. “He was a great friend. I wish _I_ had been a better friend to him. I know now that Frank’s erratic thinking that day he planned to run away was because he was scared, and I should have been a better friend by sticking around for him. He would have stuck around for me.”

 

Lizzie gave Frank a side glance to see how he would react, and Jesse’s gaze on the older man in front of them was pensive and almost empathetic. “After learning everything I have…about my uncle, I think that he, probably, would have forgiven you. It seems like you and my uncle were pretty close friends and, well, friends were like family to him, right? So…you don’t give up on your family. Not without a fight at least. I think that he would probably really appreciate that you keep looking out for Nikki – my mom – even after she’s tried really hard to brush you off.”

 

Ray gave a small smile and nod, “Thanks, Jesse, I hope you’re right on that one.”

 

“I have a really good feeling about it, Toro.”

 

Ray cocked his head to the side with a curious laugh but carried on without any further questions.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

“I think it’s really nice, what you did for Ray today,” Lizzie voiced her thoughts aloud on the walk home.

 

Jesse’s shoulders shrugged and he tilted his head back to stare up at the clear sky. Lizzie watched with an admiration of the simple action of Jesse…Frank…breathing. The way he squinted at the sun, or the subtle grin forming on his lips, Lizzie wondered what thoughts were going through his mind to make him spread his arms so freely to the cold breeze.

 

“Liz, I want you to realize something a lot earlier than I did… Before it was too late for me. Life’s too short to hold a grudge.”

 

Sometimes Lizzie found it difficult to determine where Jesse ended and Frank began.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

At the street corner where Lizzie and Jesse separated for their different routes home Frank suddenly tripped, which was an unusual occurrence for his agile ghost skills. Automatically Lizzie reached out to grab his arm and when confused eyes met hers she realized Jesse was Jesse again. His body shivered and he pulled his hands into the sleeves of his jacket.

 

“Are you ok?” Lizzie asked worriedly and reached for his arm again.

 

“Mm,” he nodded, but was anything but convincing.

 

“I’ll walk you home,” Lizzie frowned determinedly.

 

“Always a mind trip,” he laughed shakily and allowed Lizzie to hold his arm as they walked. “Like- I don’t know. Just crazy.”

 

“No, I know,” Lizzie reminded gently. “Happened to me once before too. You’ll feel better once you’re home.”

 

“How did things go with Ray?”

 

“Good. Calm. It was actually a really nice meeting, and I think Frank made right with Ray. I think his fro may have picked up a bit of volume on the way out of the café.”

 

Jesse smiled and pulled his hood up on his jacket. “I think I might finally have to start listening to you and dress warmer for the weather if Frank’s going to start leaving me out in the cold!”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know why he did that. He seemed a bit…off…earlier.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I don’t know. Just- Like a content I haven’t seen in him before. He was all-“ Lizzie mimicked the action of Frank earlier, when he was gazing up at the sky with his arms spread. “Like, a real Jack Dawson, _Titanic_ moment.”

 

“’Off’ or happy? ‘Cause that just sounds like he’s happy.”

 

“Maybe. Yeah. You’re probably right- I guess he just got too excited and forgot to bring you somewhere warm before, you know, leaving’.”

 

“Ah, it’s fine. He left me with a pretty girl.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

“You’re the biggest stereotype, Elizabeth,” Frank teased energetically from his seat next to her in the café a couple days after their visit with Ray. Frank had given Jesse a break yesterday and stayed home for the day while Jesse went to school and reacquainted himself with boring classes and inside jokes.

 

“I’m what?” Lizzie’s attention was only half fixed on Frank in the moment as she clicked around on her laptop double checking that everything was in order for their Skype chat with Mikey. Frank had been particularly eager to chat with the younger Way brother and he’d talked her ears off yesterday with stories of all the stupid things Mikey had tried to pull in high school. It probably would have annoyed Lizzie, but Mikey stories were the kind you could listen to repeatedly throughout your life and still find just as funny as you did the first time you heard them.

 

“You’re a stereotype,” Frank repeated in Jesse’s chipper voice. “Do you and Jesse always come to this café after school to debrief the gossip told? Does Rachel Green get your order wrong? Does George Costanza come bustling in here to tell you about an ugly chick he saw on the train? Don’t you and Jess ever go anywhere else?”

 

“This is just convenient! It’s not like we can Skype in the library or in the middle of the mall.”

 

Frank shrugged and examined their surroundings. “It’s an alright joint. Not too many pretentious shits.”

 

“Every café needs at least one pretentious shit to do it justice. Ok, five more minutes. Now remember, Mikey practically helped raise Jesse when he was little, so you have to be really careful with how you act around him. If Ray and Gerard were suspicious, Mikey will probably be that doubled if you say anything remotely un-Jesse-like.”

 

“Wow, ok, ‘Personality Police’. I will do my darnest. Anything you should give me heads-up on?”

 

“Uh…” Lizzie tapped her fingers against the table guiltily. “Well, yeah. And I probably should have told you this a long time ago. But Mikey has a model girlfriend, fiancée, wife, partner, whatever, named Sandra, and they’re going to be having a baby… Like, soon. In a few weeks or something.”

 

Frank held up a hand to stop her and Lizzie watched the sleeve of Jesse’s shirt pull back enough to expose the tattoo on his forearm. “Hold on. You’re telling me that Mikey not only found a woman who tolerates him, but this woman also allowed him to impregnate her? This century is weird. Mikey is sexually active with someone other than his hand and blow-up doll. I might cry. I’m so proud right now.”

 

Lizzie opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Skype chiming in on her laptop. “Shit, he’s early.”

 

“He came too soon,” Frank shook his head. “…That’s what she said…”

 

“Stop that,” Lizzie warned once more, hoping the expression on her face was just a tad intimidating as she accepted the call.

 

Mikey didn’t waste a second.

 

“So Jess, what the hell did you say to my brother? It’s not easy to freak him out, but whatever you said sure did. On the plus side, he re-read that series you kids were into and is considering chalking it back onto his list of things to actually finish. Which is great, because I’m pretty sure my character was on track to get laid, and it would be nice if that happened for him.”

 

At first Frank just stared, his eyes wide and surprised, but then a wide grin took over his neutral expression. “Mikey! Holy shit!”

 

“Jesse!” Mikey answered easily without any kind of confusion or suspicion - like he expected Jesse to freak out over his presence. “Seriously though, what did you say?”

 

“I don’t remember,” Frank laughed and leaned back in his chair casually. “What was he talking about?”

 

“About Frankie mainly.”

 

“Well good, because my uncle sounded like the bee’s knees. It’s about time you all started talking about him again.”

 

“Touché, young Skywalker. How have you been feeling lately?”

 

“Alive.”

 

“Lizzie here hasn’t had to jumpstart your heart yet?”

 

Frank smiled to Lizzie and let his eyes lock with hers briefly, “Almost a few times, but not yet. There’s time.”

 

“Anyway,” Lizzie dragged out to change subjects. “How’s Sandra?”

 

“Still pregnant,” Mikey shrugged listlessly and held an action figure right up to the camera to fill the screen briefly.

 

“Sandra’s fine,” a female voice added from off screen.

 

Mikey moved the action figure and looked off to the side, “Have you even met Sandra, Jess? Sandra come here and meet Jesse!”

 

The same smiling woman Lizzie had met in California entered the frame and waved into the camera. “Hi, Jesse! I’ve heard a lot about you!”

 

“All good things I hope,” Frank waved back.

 

“Of course,” Sandra sat down on Mikey’s lap and everyone laughed over his exaggerated expression of pain from being squished.

 

“Do you guys know what you’re having?”

 

“A human, I hope,” Mikey answered this time and hugged Sandra from behind gently. “But no, we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, it’ll be a surprise. Place your bets.”

 

Sandra pressed a kiss to Mikey’s lips and Frank’s wide smile shrunk to something bittersweet and yearning. Not jealousy, Lizzie decided, but the aching feeling of wanting the same as what Mikey had managed to achieve in life.

 

“You did good, Mikey,” Frank spoke his inner thoughts aloud. “Congratulations on the baby to you both. I’m excited to meet them…”

 

“Thanks, man,” Mikey beamed. “I’m sure we’ll drop by Jersey soon after the kid is born. You’ll be able to bond with them over your nasty diaper rash.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Frank laughed. “Enough already!”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Their chat with Mikey and Sandra lasted well over the half hour prediction Lizzie had made, clocking in at almost two full hours. Two hours of discussions ranging from comics to sushi restaurants to fabric softener. And every once in a while Mikey would throw in a story from the past, lighting up Jesse’s eyes and sparking added enthusiasm from Frank, who of course knew first-hand the stories Mikey told. Lizzie could tell by Jesse’s body tensing next to hers that Frank had been trying with all his being not to let on that he knew the ending of stories before they were revealed.

 

Back out on the street and walking home Frank was still pepped up and for Lizzie it was confusing. She imagined saying that last goodbye to Mikey would be difficult for Frank, but instead he looked as if he might break into song like a Disney princess.

 

“Uh…are you alright?” Lizzie finally piped up.

 

“Liz, I’m great,” Frank practically shouted joyfully and pulled her to a stop. “It’s so dumb that it only just dawned on me! I don’t ever have to leave!”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The house, to Lizzie’s sheer relief was silent, save for the house’s usual creaks and groans. All the way home something about Frank’s suggestion of sharing Jesse’s body indefinitely made her uneasy. Was it moral? Was it possible? How would Jesse feel over the idea of …body-sharing?

 

“Just imagine it,” Frank carried on and Lizzie watched Jesse’s figure pace across the living room. “I can live everything with you guys!”

 

“But you wouldn’t ever be you,” Lizzie explained as gently as possible, though it didn’t seem to faze the ghost anyway. He was on cloud nine with his euphoric thoughts of half living.

 

“We can travel and get the whole gang back together, and I’ll get to meet Mikey’s kid, and-“

 

“But you still wouldn’t be _you_ ,” Lizzie insisted. “You would be _Jesse_! And when Jesse is all grown and old and –“

 

“Then I’ll go too,” Frank explained as if it was the simplest answer ever given. “When he goes, so will I.”

 

“But-“ Lizzie was feeling frustrated. Of course she wanted Frank to stay. She had been wanting nothing more than last few months. But she also wanted Frank to be Frank and Jesse to be Jesse. In this scenario no one was treated fairly.

 

“Can we talk to Jesse about this too?” Lizzie stuck up for her friend who wasn’t being properly represented. “Isaac text me that he’ll be out for another couple hours, we have time.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Frank laughed as if he’d forgotten all about being someone else; as if he’d forgotten all about possessing his nephew.

 

Lizzie had seen it happen before several times, but that didn’t make it any less odd to watch Frank step out of Jesse’s body.

 

Jesse, hacking and shaking tripped forward and Lizzie moved fast to prevent him falling.

 

“I can’t-“ he gasped. “I can’t- Can’t”

 

“Is he choking?” Frank’s voice was concerned and he grabbed Jesse’s other arm to help Lizzie drag him to the couch. “Breathe, kid.”

 

Jesse continued to gasp for air, but appeared to be calming, if only slightly. Still, shivers racked their way through his body and Lizzie recalled the thoughts being in a morgue when Frank had possessed her body only briefly. Quickly she grabbed a blanket to drape over Jesse’s shoulders, all the while staring at Frank with determination. “What now, Frankie?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….


	37. Chapter 37

**Musical inspiration:**

• “Damage I’ve Done” - Anarbor

• “The Kids From Yesterday” – My Chemical Romance (Acoustic live. The one where it’s Frank on backing vocals and you stupidly watch it at 2AM and start bawling. That one.)

• “The Sound” – The 1975

• “The Warrior” - Patty Smyth (Scandal)

• “Bette Davis Eyes (Instrumental)” – Kim Carnes

• “Hold On (the Break)” – Walk off the Earth

• “All I Can Do” – Chantal Kreviazuk

..............................................................................

 

“Here, Jesse, drink this,” Lizzie handed the trembling boy a cup of tea like it was the 1800’s. She didn’t even know if Jesse liked tea, but under the circumstances he’d probably appreciate anything warm.  
  
Frank, still pacing the room paused in his tracks and leaned down to evaluate his nephew’s health. “You’re looking better,” he concluded. “Less ghosty. More fleshy. Just had the wind knocked out of you, probably.”  
  
“I feel like I’ve been swimming under ice during a blizzard,” Jesse wheezed and gripped the front of his shirt, which alarmed Lizzie because Jesse’s heart was spastic and required medication to maintain. And no, maybe it wasn’t as life threatening as some cases, but a ghost had been inhabiting his body quite a bit lately, and that didn’t seem to bode well for anyone, let alone a boy with an arrhythmia.  
  
“You’re alright,” Frank spoke with such confidence that it sounded  _unconvincing_. “You’ll be alright.”  
  
“Frank,” Lizzie grabbed hold of her ghost friend’s arm and pulled him into the kitchen and down to the basement in order to be our of Jesse’s hearing range. “Are you kidding me?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You can’t just…take over someone’s life! Look what it’s doing to Jesse!”  
  
“He’ll be fine! Maybe he just needs a couple days off!”  
  
“No! What if we’d been out two more hours? He could be dead!”  
  
“I wouldn’t do that,” Frank’s voice raised and he glowered at Lizzie with enough intensity to make her take a couple steps back and revaluate her choice to approach him.  
  
“I would never kill Jesse,” Frank’s voice softened and wavered sadly. “How could you ever think that?”  
  
“You know we can’t keep doing this,” Lizzie sunk down to the floor against the wall. The boxes of muumuus and other trinkets had been sent to a thrift shop months ago, leaving the basement vacated. “I know you want to stick around, Frankie, but-“  
  
“I can! I can. I’ll just…I can just possess someone else, right? Someone we barely know…or don’t know! Anybody! Ike’s friends or-“  
  
“And what?! Kill them instead?! You have as much control over the harm you cause as Jesse has preventing it!”  
  
“Stop saying that! We don’t have to  _kill_  anyone! I can skip around. Body jump. Spread the ghost love around, you know?”  
  
“I think you know how messed up that sounds. And I think you know that your plan just won’t work. What good is living if you don’t get to be yourself? It’s not like you’re going to be able to visit Mikey as you and reminisce all the insane parties you used to have. It’s not like Nikki is ever going to be able to hug her  _brother_  again. You won’t even be able to help Nikki if you stay.”  
  
“I know,” Frank sat next to her on the basement floor. “I know that. I was fine with leaving until today, Liz. I really was. …Mikey’s gonna be a dad…”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Lizzie squeaked and blinked back tears as she enveloped her best friend in a hug.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse left soon after warming up and promising to call Lizzie as soon as he got home.  
  
It was quiet in Lizzie’s room as night crept through the window. Olivia had been upbeat and particularly optimistic at dinner - mentioning a male colleague of hers several times. Isaac was oblivious to their mother’s developing interest in this male colleague, but Lizzie had picked up on it instantly; being awkwardly able to relate to something her mother was feeling in a very long time. And she was happy for her, but offering smiles was a struggle for Lizzie at the moment.  
  
Lizzie’s head shot up from the magazine she was flipping through and she directed her attention to the source of the scraping sound coming from the window ledge. There she caught the fall of her plant into the garbage can. A forlorn ghost culprit turned his head back to the window, “It’s dead.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Jesse sounded better on the phone? Do you think he’ll agree to it? Do you think he’ll be ok for it?”  
  
“I think he’d be willing to risk this for you.”  
  
Frank’s bitter laughter followed moments later and Lizzie’s head rose again from the latest Hollywood gossip. “What’s funny?”  
  
“Every day I realize more and more how little mine being here ever had to do with Daphne.”  
  
“Your life’s a great deal more than a lovesick romance tragedy,” Lizzie agreed.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
“Nathan just willingly allowed you to take his mom’s car for the day?” Lizzie asked for at least the fifth time since Jesse entered the house. It was early Friday morning, but for this to successfully pull through they’d have to be home before school was out. Lizzie had realized over the course of the school year that so long as you accumulated decent grades and claimed a rickety immune system teachers didn’t pay too much attention to your absences. A delinquent who came to class all of twice a week and high however…  
  
“Man, Nathe owes me,” Jesse dismissed and leaned against the hallway wall.  
  
“For what?”  
  
“I don’t know, but something,” Jesse shrugged. “Probably.”  
  
The two conversing teenagers directed their attention to Frank’s pacing figure in the living room.  
  
“Well?” Lizzie called for his attention. “Are we going yet?”  
  
Frank’s pacing ceased and he walked up to his nephew, pausing only inches from their noses touching. “Are you really sure or are you bullshitting me?” he demanded and studied Jesse’s eyes for any sign of illness or regret.  
  
“I’m sure,” Jesse shoved Frank’s shoulders with a small laugh. “I told you a million times. Look, it’s been a few days, I had a good night’s sleep, I ate breakfast and I’m thoroughly medicated. I can do this. I want to do this. And if I’m freezing and wheezing after this then throw me in a hot tub with  _Candy_  and I promise you I will gather all my stamina.”  
  
Frank still looked unsure and frowned. “This is fucking serious, Jesse. You almost died last time.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m kind of good at that,” Jesse smirked and traced an ex over his own heart. “ _Almost_  is key, Uncle  _BooBerry_.”  
  
“Don’t make me strangle you,” Frank narrowed his eyes but anyone could see the small grin forming at the corner of his mouth.  
  
Jesse jingled the car keys in his hand and pointed to Lizzie, “Got the route punched in?”  
  
Lizzie held up her phone to show the app open on the screen. “I double checked the address to make sure and called in advance.”  
  
“We’ve improved in our tracking adventures so much, look at us,” Jesse enthused and high-fived an equally happy Lizzie. “So let’s go.”  
  
“Let’s go then, Sport,” Frank teased. “Give yer old as fuck uncle a hug, huh?”  
  
“But you smell like the  _Crypt Keeper_ , Jesse whined in response but accepted the hug willingly until Frank faded and Jesse was left giggling.  
  
“The  _Crypt Keeper_?!” he complained to Lizzie and pointed to himself, “I’m gonna kick his ass for that comment once we get back.”  
  
Lizzie smiled and opened the door, “Great, let’s go.”  
  
“I’m driving.”  
  
“Yeah right!”  
  
“Oh? Oh no? Uh…” Frank cleverly held up the car keys in his hand and let them dangle from his finger by the keychain. “Then why exactly do  _I_  have these?”  
  
“But…” Lizzie trailed off when Jesse’s laughter bounced past her out the door. “But, Frank! Do you even know how to drive anymore?!”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“Just… Don’t drive like a maniac,” Lizzie warned and tightened her seatbelt.  
  
“You look nervous, Izzy,” Frank teased and started up the car. “Are you nervous? Are you worried I’m gonna… I don’t know…  _Crash_  the car?”  
  
“Frank! That’s not funny!”  
  
“Don’t get so  _icy_ , Liz. Thaw out and enjoy the cruise. We’re not going to crash… Well  _I’m_  not going to be the reason we crash if we do. If we crash today it’s because this vehicle is a tin can on wheels.” Frank looked over his seat to see out the back window and pulled a disgusted face at the mess of empty cans of soda and bags that once held fast food in them. “Nathan’s a slob.”  
  
“It’s Nathan’s mother’s car,” Lizzie corrected.  
  
“Nathan’s mother’s a slob,” Frank stated and successfully pulled back enough from the car in front of them to drive out of the spot they were in. “Ok, Elizabeth, hold onto your panties, we’re off!”  
  
“Wha-“ Lizzie didn’t get to finish as Frank floored it up the street.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Somewhere on the route to New York Lizzie gathered enough courage to uncover her eyes. Frank had slowed down considerably and was abiding by the road rules amongst all the other drivers. Still, she gave him one final glare before turning her attention to her phone. “We’re on track, magically.”  
  
“Of course we are,” Frank scoffed and fiddled with the radio. “Nathan’s a country fan isn’t he,” the ghost boy exclaimed disgustedly after switching through three pre-assigned stations – all of which were country.  
  
Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and watched their progress pause on her app at a red light, “Did you always drive like a maniac?”  
  
“Only when out-running the cops.”  
  
“You were involved in  _car chases_  with the police?!”  
  
“…Maybe…”  
  
“We should’ve taken the train.”  
  
“And miss out on a funtabulous road trip with me?! Check your priorities, Liz. Now, does your fancy gadget tell me to turn left or right next?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
In the mere two times she’d been there Lizzie felt a weird sense of home when Frank pulled up in front of the boutique. The window was already featuring new outfits Lizzie had never seen before and the sign was flipped to ‘Open’.  
  
“Glore did good,” Frank was beaming with pride as he examined the exterior of the building. “Fuck. She always wanted this!”  
  
“You haven’t even seen the inside yet,” Lizzie shook his arm excitedly. “C’mon!”  
  
Frank eagerly followed to the front of the shop before being paused in his tracks by Lizzie.  
  
“You’re Jesse right now.”  
  
Frank nodded his head in understanding and took in a breath of air before opening the door. The scent of vanilla wafted through the door as if challenging the cold streets of Manhattan.  
  
Like the first time Lizzie had met her Gloria was busy beautifying a client. This time the conversation was about the pros and cons of waxing – at least as far as Lizzie could tell. The waxing of  _what_ she didn’t know – nor cared to listen in any further.  
  
“Hi, lovelies,” Gloria called without looking up. “Your favourite cupcakes are waiting for you at the door, Jesse! I just picked some up this morning!”  
  
But Jesse’s body stood still and his eyes remained focused on the store owner in awe. “Here,” Lizzie aided and placed a cupcake into his hand, “She’ll think it’s weird if you don’t eat at least one.”  
  
Frank nodded and bit into the treat but continued to watch Gloria from afar. Lizzie took it upon herself to guide Frank around the store to look at things. Jesse was easy going and curious – Gloria would think something was wrong if he was stood in a catatonic state slowly chewing on baked goods.  
  
By the time Frank had finished eating the cupcake they were stood at the counter staring at the collage of Gloria and Frank. A faint smile crossed Jesse’s lips when Gloria suddenly appeared at the desk to have her client pay. “Saying hi to Frankie?” she smiled to the teenagers and then turned her attention to the customer.  
  
Frank took a step back from sheer surprise or shock of having Gloria so close. But that was nothing compared to when Gloria hurried around the corner of the desk to hug him. Frank gripped tightly and held on to the point where Gloria gave a nervous giggle and pat the side of his face. “Cutie.” She moved on to give Lizzie a hug as well and then stepped back to look at them both. “You’re back again so soon, I’m so happy! Is this our pampering session? I’ve got cucumbers for our eyes! What do you say?”  
  
“…That depends,” Jesse’s tone was surprisingly even, “Can we eat them after?”  
  
“You’ll be so glad, Darling, because I had you in mind when I planned out this particular facial mask and everything used in it is, in fact, edible!”  
  
“I like this salon. This is a good salon.”  
  
“It better be, I worked my buns off for it,” Gloria placed a hand on her hip. “People who say beauty school is an easy ride are clearly the uglies of the world. I’ll tell you, beauty school will whip you into shape! And what kind of school are you two attending? They just let you gallivant off whenever you feel like it?”  
  
“In-service,” Lizzie cut in quickly.  
  
“In-service, uh-huh, sure,” Gloria cocked an eyebrow. “Well I ain’t the attendance police or nothing so I’m going to pretend you two are already graduated. Your secret’s safe with me! Not like I’m one to be judging skipping school anyway! What’re you two kids here for actually?”  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth, but like so many times before, she was cut off by Frank who beat her to the response. “Well a facial, obviously! You just hyped up an edible facial. Cupcakes and edible facial cream, that’s like breakfast and lunch all bundled into one! …And I’ve got all these wrinkles I have to avoid, right?”  
  
Gloria looked momentarily taken aback, but her expression quickly changed to pleasantly surprised as Lizzie took out her wallet to make sure she had enough money for the impromptu facial.  
  
“You put that away,” Gloria slapped at Lizzie’s hand. “Like I’d ever charge my best friend’s nephew and his should-be girlfriend for a facial I haven’t tested yet! You’re my guinea pigs.”  
  
Lizzie inwardly groaned and Jesse’s grinning face turned to her with waggling eyebrows. It was like having two Mikey’s in one room holding up ‘ _We Ship Jiz_ ’ signs.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Gloria didn’t have any clients booked that day for a couple hours after her next appointment – which Lizzie and Frank of course helped out with by aiding in organising merchandise to pass the time.  
  
After the client left Gloria flipped the sign to ‘Closed`, “Who’s gonna know or care anyway?” she shrugged. “If it’s a regular they’ll knock and we’ll just open up again before the next appointment. This is a special occasion!”  
  
They blew out the vanilla candles and headed upstairs for the time being, Gloria’s shoes clicking loudly along the way as usual. “So I think we’ll put the masks on in the bathroom and then we’ll move the table over in the living room and set up like we did for watching ‘ _Rocky Horror_ ’,” Gloria explained and pushed the door open to let Lizzie and Jesse in first. “You two can just crash on the couch while I mix up the ingredients in the kitchen.”  
  
Lizzie led Frank over to the couch, but Frank was in no mood for sitting around and was quick to wander over to the very shelf Lizzie had examined the first time she and Jesse had been upstairs at Gloria’s. Lizzie inwardly cringed when Frank paused at the frame Lizzie herself had freaked out over.  
  
“Did she get married?” Frank mouthed to Lizzie urgently.  
  
“Briefly, briefly,” Lizzie whispered and hurried over. “To Gerard. So brief. Like, a month.”  
  
“When!?”  
  
“I don’t know, she didn’t say exactly when. She just said they were married for a month, living in his parents’ basement and that was it. They…divorced? Annulled? I don’t know, they just called it all off. That’s all we know.”  
  
Frank picked up the picture and shook Lizzie off when she tried to stop him. “Hey, Glore…ia…. When did this happen?”  
  
“Hm?” Gloria looked up from spooning yogurt into a bowl. “Oh, that again,” she giggled. “February of 1990. I had a solid week to plan it. Oh my God, you kids would have laughed if you saw our wedding cake. It was literally a store bought ice cream cake that we stupidly left Mikey in charge of. So he ordered a little Han Solo figurine and little Princess Leia figurine to be placed on it with the writing: ‘ _May the force be with you_ ’ in black writing with a green lightsaber under it. Gee loved it of course. I was furious at the time, but looking back on it at least he didn’t drop the cake, right?”  
  
“So he proposed and you just threw together a wedding in a week,” Frank clarified.  
  
“No one really proposed,” Gloria reminisced. “It was basically a conversation that led to us concluding we should get married. Again, we were stupid teens who weren’t dealing with our emotions very well.”  
  
“You weren’t pregnant were you?” Frank eyed her sceptically and Lizzie held back a snort, because she’d thought the same thing.  
  
“You’d think, right? That’s what everyone thinks when kids get married. No. No baby. Just two very sad teenagers who figured committing to each other would solve everything. I think we were in this situation where Frankie had just died and the two of us knew our relationship wasn’t going to last, so we held on as tight as we could. It still didn’t last. You know that feeling? When everything is changing and you’re trying so hard to just hold on to one little shred of something you  _know_. I lost my best friend and my boyfriend in a very short span of time. It wasn’t a very great era of my life.”  
  
“You made it though.”  
  
Gloria’s smile was bright as she squeezed some juice from an orange into the bowl. “Sometimes falling apart first is the only way to succeed. It was the most difficult fall for me, because it was the first time I didn’t have Frankie around to pick me back up and tell me to put my stupid, useless shoes back on...” She paused to lift her foot up slightly and show off one of her painful looking high-heels. “I’ve always worn gorgeous shoes like this, but they’re a bitch to walk in, so he always made fun of me for it. But he would have been so pissed off if I’d just stayed broken, you know? So I didn’t. I got back up and put my big girl shoes back on. I bet he’d be proud!”  
  
Frank took a step forward but refrained from touching Gloria. He settled for an agreeing nod instead and offered to help mix the ingredients in the bowl.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“I thought you said this was edible,” Frank complained and stuck Jesse’s tongue out in pure disgust.  
  
“It is,” Gloria full out laughed. “I never said it was going to taste good! It’s supposed to taste good though.”  
  
“It does taste good,” Lizzie giggle alongside Gloria on the floor of the living room, “I got some in my mouth. What’s your problem?”  
  
Frank continued to rant in disgust and pull faces, “The texture is like baby vomit!”  
  
“That’s the texture from the oatmeal not the taste and it’s doing good things for your face, so you just hush and deal with it,” Gloria informed. She leaned back against the couch with cucumbers placed delicately over her eyes and sighed contently.  
  
“My pores are fine!”  
  
“Your pores are nasty and clogged just like all boys who don’t understand how to exfoliate,” Gloria waved him off lazily. “You’re going to thank me when Lizzie can’t keep her eyes off your glowing skin.”  
  
Lizzie blushed red and was thankful that Jesse wasn’t actually present in the moment to hear such a comment. Unfortunately Frank was present though and pinched her arm knowingly with a smirk.  
  
“You hear that, Liz? I’m gonna glow for you.”  
  
“…Great…” Lizzie rolled her eyes.  
  
Gloria giggled and made comments about planning manicures and pedicures for future visits. She babbled on about how she would make edible facial masks a thing in her store, about how she wanted to plan a vacation to Japan, about how she needed to give Gerard a call to check in… Anything and everything that came to mind.  
  
And while Gloria was wrapped up in her one-sided conversation, Lizzie watched Frank, whose eyes were glued contently on his aged best friend. He had a gentle smile on his face as he relished in listening to her voice again.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....  
  
It was nearing one o’clock when Lizzie quietly suggested to Frank they think about heading back. They’d stuck around to help around the shop after the facials, and as a result had to politely decline Gloria’s invitation to stick around for dinner several times.  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Frank hesitated and exhaled. “Just give me a minute.”  
  
Lizzie gave him space and wandered over to the racks of clothes to casually look through again, all the while watching Frank from afar. His mannerism was nervous and he cast glances over to Gloria continuously to make sure she was thoroughly occupied with the customer she was with.  
  
Curiosity consumed Lizzie and she inched just a bit closer toward Frank who was paused at the little collage behind Gloria’s desk. Carefully he took something out of Jesse’s jacket and added it to the pictures of himself and Gloria before venturing over to the work area Gloria was currently in, applying makeup to a woman’s face.  
  
“Are you heading out?” she took a step back from the client who was more interested in something on her phone anyway.  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Frank answered in Jesse’s voice and rubbed the back of his neck. “Gotta return my friend’s car.”  
  
“Ok,” Gloria cocked her head to the side worriedly, “Are you alright, Darlin’?” Like she’d done with Lizzie during their last encounter she grabbed hold of Jesse’s chin to examine his paled face. “You feeling ok?”  
  
“Just a bit of a headache,” he shrugged her off with a small laugh and instead pulled her into a tight hug.  
  
Taken by surprise Gloria gave a small, startled laugh but accepted the embrace and pat his back, “Drive home safe, Sweetie. And you make sure that mother of yours calls me! I’m serious.”  
  
“I will,” Frank closed his eyes briefly and then pressed a kiss to Gloria’s left cheek, “Goodbye, Glore.”  
  
Lizzie held her breath from the counter where she stood, her gaze fixed on the collage and her ears tuned in on the conversation being had.  
  
Gloria held Jesse at arm’s length and stared with glossy eyes at the teenager in front of her. Her mouth opened and closed several times trying to make sense of what Jesse had just said, and maybe, for the briefest of moments, she knew it wasn’t actually Jesse in front of her. If she knew, she didn’t dare voice it and instead gave the hint of a smile and pat the side of Jesse’s face lightly. “Goodbye, Cutie.”  
  
Frank backed away from Gloria slowly and turned toward Lizzie. He walked briskly across the store and Lizzie could barely function enough to wave back at Gloria as she was torn away from her stare at the group photograph of the gang Frank had added to Gloria’s collection.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Jesse was in much the same condition he had been the day they’d chatted with Mikey. He shivered and wheezed for air on Lizzie’s couch after they’d returned Nathan’s car and walked back to the house.  
  
Frank aided with Jesse by filling a hot water bottle and making tea. Anything to keep separated from Lizzie and his nephew for as long as possible. Even for the duration of the ride home their conversation had been very minimal. Lizzie knew not to press Frank on the issue, and instead let him wade through his own thoughts and feelings over their visit with Gloria.  
  
Lizzie slumped down on the couch beside Jesse. She didn’t realize she was pouting until the charismatic teenager next to her pointed it out.  
  
“Did something go wrong?”  
  
“No, everything went right, I think,” Lizzie explained.  
  
“Do you always pout when things are going right?” Jesse cupped his mug of tea with both hands and focused on stilling his body from shivers.  
  
“Only when they involve goodbyes I don’t want to make,” Lizzie hugged her legs and rest her chin on her knees. “There’s one more stop to make and then I don’t know what’s going to happen. What happens when you die? Like, when you don’t end up as a ghost?”  
  
“I hope it involves lap dances, that’s all I’m saying,” Frank wandered into their conversation in upped spirits since arriving home. He smiled now and cracked another inappropriate joke about the afterlife before taking a seat on the other side of Lizzie.  
  
“Everything went well with Gloria?” Jesse leaned forward to confirm with his uncle.  
  
“Gloria’s happy,” Frank answered with a genuine smile. “Maybe the happiest I’ve ever seen her. I’m glad I got to witness everything she’s achieved – I’m glad she’s alright.”  
  
“And you’re alright?”  
  
Frank took a moment to really contemplate the question before giving his confirmation. “I’m getting better.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie tossed and turned herself awake at a quarter past 2:00 AM. First she’d been too hot then she’d been too cold, then her mattress felt lumpy, and then her pillow felt like a rock.  
  
“Can’t sleep?” Frank spoke in a whisper from the windowsill. “You’ve been flipping around for over an hour.”  
  
“Well thanks for waking me up then,” Lizzie scowled. “This bed sucks.”  
  
“That bed is a marshmallow of everything great, what’s your problem, Lizard? Bad dreams?”  
  
Lizzie sat up in her bed and rubbed at her sleepy eyes, “What am I supposed to do in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and you’re not here?”  
  
“What everyone who doesn’t have a ghost for a friend does,” Frank shrugged. “You stick one foot out from under the covers so you’re not too hot and then keep punching your pillow until it’s no longer a rock.”  
  
“…Are you scared? For what comes next?”  
  
“I used to be. I’m not anymore. I want to make things right for Nikki.”  
  
“I’m going to miss you.”  
  
Frank moved from the windowsill to her bed. His complexion was smooth…blurred and partially transparent in the moonlight. He leaned down and just when Lizzie thought he was going to do something cute, he snatched her pillow and started punching it with a grin.  
  
“There, I fixed it,” he returned the item by shoving it into her arms. “I’m going to miss you too, Lizzie, but not today. So go to sleep. I’m going to need your help in the next few days and I’m going to need you to not be a bitch because you’re tired.”  
  
“Fine,” Lizzie frowned and fell back onto her mattress in the least graceful manner possible, “But I bet there aren’t any lap dances in hell, so suck on that!”  
  
“Yeah, well your hell is probably going to consist of a bed where you’re tucked into so tightly that you can’t stick your foot out from under the covers to cool off. Go to sleep, Liz.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
The carpeted floor in the hallway leading to Jesse’s place creaked under their feet and Frank was forever slowing his pace until Lizzie eyed him oddly.  
  
“Why are you moving so slowly?”  
  
“I don’t know. This is just a lot.”  
  
“She’s your sister, you can’t be nervous.”  
  
“That’s exactly why I’m nervous. I have to make things right for her, not worse. Nikki is strong but she’s sensitive. If I don’t word something right this entire ideas is going to be ruined.”  
  
“Don’t think of it that way then. Just go in there with the intention of having a talk with your sister. Just like you did with Gloria and all of them. But don’t forget to be Jesse.”  
  
Frank eyed Lizzie seriously as they came to a halt outside the correct door and then with a hesitant hand, Frank reached out and pushed the door open.  
  
“Jess is that you?” Nikki’s voice called from the kitchen almost instantly upon hearing the door open.  
  
“Uh…yeah…Mom,” Frank stuttered out. “…And Lizzie..”  
  
Nikki walked out of the kitchen clad in her work uniform. It was a Sunday and Jesse had ensured them that Nikki only worked a really early shift that Sunday morning so they would have the rest of the day with her. “…Oh. Hi, Lizzie. Jesse, can you help Aaron finish the dishes? You were supposed to do them last night and we need them in a bit. I’m just going to change and then I’ll make lunch. Is Lizzie staying?”  
  
“…Is that ok if she does?” Frank’s voice was too nervous for Jesse’s and his eyes were wide with apprehension.  
  
“Yes, that’s fine,” Nikki sighed, “a little more notice would be appreciated next time though, Jess. Are you feeling alright? You’re pale. You took your medication this morning didn’t you? You can’t forget to take your pills, Jesse. It’s life or death.”  
  
“Mom, life or death, really?” Frank whined in a more Jesse-like manner to make up for his previous fumble in personality.  
  
“You know what I mean. Dishes, huh?”  
  
Frank nodded and Lizzie gave Nikki a smile which was briefly returned before Nikki disappeared into her bedroom to change.  
  
Sloshing could be heard as they entered the kitchen to find Aaron at the sink. He look up at his older brother and scooted over to grab a rag instead – leaving the washing to Jesse while he dried. “Hi, Lizzie!”  
  
“Hi,  _Aaron_ ,” she poked Frank in the back.  
  
“Aaron,” Frank enthused as he met his youngest nephew for the first time. “Need help with the dishes?”  
  
“No,  _you_  need help with the dishes. You were supposed to do them last night.”  
  
“Sorry, got a lot on my mind lately.”  
  
“…Sure,” Aaron eyed Lizzie over his shoulder briefly with a smug grin he quickly concealed. Obviously Aaron thought there was more to Lizzie and Jesse’s friendship as well. “We’re having Mac and Cheese for lunch again.”  
  
“Mac and Cheese is awesome, I could eat it every day,” Frank snorted.  
  
“Do you like Mac and Cheese, Lizzie?” Aaron asked.  
  
“Yeah, of course,” Lizzie smiled and moved to stand next to the younger Wilton brother. “I can put things back where they belong if you tell me where they go?”  
  
“Bowls in that top cupboard,” he pointed automatically and Lizzie leaned back and smiled to Frank behind Aaron’s back.  
  
“Shit,” Nikki sounded from down the hall, “I forgot to buy fabric softener, I’ll have to stop off to pick some up on the way to the laundromat later. Ok, Mac and Cheese – How are the dishes going? – Oh, thank you, Lizzie. Did you wash out the pot yet, Jess?”  
  
Nikki was a whirlwind in the kitchen, talking aloud mainly to herself but always in a panic – as if prepping for an apocalypse at any moment. But that was normal for Nikki, who was  _always_  in a rush. It`s just that Frank was witnessing the change in his sister for the first time and it tugged violently at his heartstrings in sympathy.  
  
“Mom, why don`t you go chill out in the living room. Watch some ' _Walking Dead_ ' or whatever. Lizzie and I can conquer Mac and Cheese.”  
  
“Aw, Cupcake, that`s alright, I can make dinner.”  
  
“No, really, Mom, take a break,” Frank insisted, and let the pathetic pet name slide. “Enjoy your afternoon off.”  
  
“I really don`t mind helping with lunch,” Lizzie chirped.  
  
Nikki looked back and forth at the teenagers before relenting and pointing out where everything they would need was with a thank you. Then she grabbed her pack of cigarettes off the table and moved into the living room.  
  
“You can go chill out for a while too, Aaron,” Frank suggested. “You basically did half the dishes for me anyway.”  
  
“Ok,” Aaron gave in easily and hurried out of the kitchen in case they tried to rope him back in.  
  
“Doing alright?” Lizzie checked in with Frank.  
  
“Doing alright so far,” he concurred. “Aaron`s a bit sassy, huh?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie’s family had always been the type to sit at the table for meals together, but Jesse’s family favoured crashing in the family room to eat. Nikki turned the volume down on the television but Lizzie still had to avoid the guts being flung around on the program in order to stomach the Mac and Cheese she and Frank had cooked up.  
  
“So your mother’s letting you back out of the house, Lizzie,” Nikki made conversation.  
  
“Yeah,” Lizzie answered nervously. While she and Nikki got along now, Lizzie still felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny of Nikki’s tough exterior. “Under some pretty strict surveillance at least.”  
  
“Well after that stupid stint you both pulled I don’t blame her,” Nikki raised her eyebrows and took a forkful of pasta from her bowl. “I’m still not at all impressed with Jesse dragging you into one of his grand schemes,” Nikki arched an eyebrow toward her son.  
  
“It was all my idea,” Lizzie blurted out before really processing what Nikki might think of her being the mastermind in their brief escape to New York.  
  
“So now it was all your idea?” Nikki didn’t sound convinced. “You know something, at this rate, it’s all over and done with. Let’s move on.” She shook her head with a sigh that reminded Lizzie greatly of something Olivia might do; Mothers Code of Conduct. A yearly quota of head shakes and sighs had to be met.  
  
“Oh come on, Mom,” Frank cut in with a laugh. “I bet you and Frank pulled some crazy stints as teenagers.”  
  
“Yes, probably,” Nikki was quick to dismiss and put all attention on the television screen.

“Like what, Mom?” Frank pushed for more information.  
  
“Jesse,” Nikki’s voice was firm, letting on that her deceased brother was a topic Jesse tried to bring up on a regular basis. “Not now.”  
  
“Then when exactly?” Frank stood up stubbornly. “We never talk about Frank. Which is a bit weird considering how close you both were. You threw a lot of wild parties at your shared apartment. He must have been a pretty big pain in the ass to put up with sometimes though, what with the big school prank and running off to California. What did you do when he was in L.A.? Did you go to a lot of his band’s shows? Did you get along with Daphne when he brought her home for the first time?”  
  
“How do you know all of this, Jesse?” Nikki asked and leaned her head into her hand. It wasn’t anger that took hold of her, Lizzie observed. It was if she’d seen it all coming for years now. Aaron sat straight up in his seat watching with wide eyes as his mother accepted the wash of exhaustion that came crashing down on her shoulders.  
  
“Lizzie and I have been meeting with all of your old friends,” Frank’s determined stance remained. “You’ve always danced around the questions I have about my uncle. Lizzie lives at your grandparents’ house – she lives  _in_  Frank’s old room… She had questions, so we teamed up.”  
  
“So who was in New York?” Nikki caught on quickly. “What did you learn about your uncle?”  
  
“Gloria and Daphne,” Frank answered and eyed his sister as if trying to predict what she would say next. “We learned a lot.”  
  
“So then why do you need me to answer questions you already have answers to?” Nikki blinked, and this time they glistened with tears.  
  
“Not everything was answered,” Frank spoke in a steady tone that didn’t lead on to any kind of emotion. “Nobody knew how to answer this one question Lizzie and I had for each of them, and that’s because you’re the only person, besides Frank, who knows where he was going the night he died; the night you had a fight.”  
  
Nikki tried to keep it together – tried to keep her tears at bay, but her hard exterior crumbled away with her trembling lower lip. “It was my fault,” she sniffled airily and covered her face. “All my fault, Jesse.”  
  
The lights and television flickered briefly, catching Aaron and Lizzie off guard. Jesse’s figure, however, stood completely unfazed.  
................................................................................................................................................................


	38. Chapter 38

**Musical inspiration for this chapter:** _  
  
_

  * "Heaven's Gonna Wait"  - Hedley
  * "Stolen" - Dashboard Confessional
  * "Let it Go" - Demi Lovato (Yeah, you laugh it up, ‘cause so am I. BUT there is this little part in the song that I legit love: “Standing frozen in the life I’ve chosen. You won’t find me the past is all behind me. Buried in the snow…”)
  * "Miss Me" - Andy Grammer
  * "Dead Friend" - Against Me!
  * "Shut Up and Dance (instrumental!)" - Walk the Moon 



_............................................................................................_

 

No one wanted to be the next to speak and for a couple minutes the only sounds in the room were moaning zombies from the television and Aaron’s feet padding against the floor as he retrieved some Kleenex for Nikki.  
  
Finally, when Lizzie was starting to think that maybe she herself was supposed to say something, Nikki continued.  
  
“I was always such an awful sister,” she spoke quietly and it was Aaron who leaned over to turn the television off completely.  
  
Lizzie, who stood close to Frank noticed his hands curl into fists and his jaw clench in determination not to yell out his strong disagreement.  
  
“I should have told him he couldn’t come live with me when we were younger – he should have always stayed with our grandparents. I should have taken better care of him. Like when he first started the dealing… I didn’t put a stop to it, because at the time I was really messed up too. But if he’d just stayed with our grandparents the whole time… Maybe then he wouldn’t have done all the stuff he did for money. Maybe he wouldn’t have even befriended Daphne. He’d still be here.”  
  
“How do you know that though?” Jesse’s voice was broken. “You probably did all you could for him. You probably stayed up all night worried if he didn’t come home. He probably would have gone some place even worse if you hadn’t let him stay with you. You said you were a mess too, maybe  _he_  should have done something for you! Maybe  _he_  wasn’t that great of a brother.  
  
“That still doesn’t excuse the fact that I’m the reason he died that night.”  
  
When Frank fell silent it was Aaron who asked for clarification, “What  _did_  happen, Mom?”  
  
Nikki leaned forward in her seat and wiped under her leaky mascara eyes, “Your uncle had this girlfriend…fiancée – named Daphne – who he loved very much. It’s a very long story, Aaron, but all you really have to know is that she broke up with him and he had a very difficult time getting over it. He moved back to our grandparents’ house after the break-up and got a different job. When he refused to let me throw him a nineteenth birthday party on Halloween I went ahead and threw a big Christmas party without giving him any real notice so that he would show up. Well, he showed up, miserable as ever, but played along for my sake. We ended up having an argument. He was talking about wanting to track Daphne down in New York. He said someone at work may have found her number. I called him stupid for even considering tracking her down -that she wasn’t worth his time and he would be a lot better without her. I said all the things I shouldn’t have to someone who was struggling with finding happiness. I was trying to force him to be happy and in doing so I made him even more unhappy. It was the same reason he moved back in with our grandparents after California. I didn’t let him have his grieving time. If I had maybe he would have continued sharing the apartment, and then he wouldn’t have had to go home that night. He’d been drinking – not a lot but enough for someone who was upset already. I tried to stop him at first – I knew the weather was turning into a blizzard, but after arguing for another few minutes I told him to leave. I encouraged it. And so he left… And the last memory I have- He gave me this awful, defeated frown. He told me he’d call me the next day.”  
  
“So he was going home that night,” Lizzie spoke quietly as she made sense of the story. “He was driving back home to his grandparents’ house.”  
  
“Yeah,” Nikki sniffled. “I imagine a lot of people think he was drunk, or drugged or God knows what else, but really what killed him was sadness. Sadness and awful weather conditions impaired his abilities and he crashed. It wasn’t suicide, that I know. He didn’t crash on purpose... But when you’re sad, your mind is consumed, like being on autopilot, and it clouded his judgment.”  
  
Lizzie imagined Frank arguing with Nikki at the party. Away from the crowd of people and snapping insults at one another as Frank pounded back a bottle of beer to maintain enough stamina so not to break down in front of everyone. She imagined Nikki slamming cupboards in the kitchen to try and cool her frustration after their argument and Frank trying so hard to mingle with friends he had so easily months before. Gloria would have noticed but she had probably been too drunk and stumbling after Gerard. Mikey was probably being a clown for everyone, and Bob too oblivious to take notice. Ray had been absent and Lizzie hadn’t even existed. Lizzie had been hoping to pin the blame on someone for Frank’s demise – to seek revenge for him… But when it all came down to the truth, no one but Frank was responsible. He’d chosen to argue back, and he’d chosen to drink. He’d played happy and he’d assumed he’d be ok driving through a blizzard. Lizzie had spent the whole time feeling bad for Frank when really, she should have spent time feeling heartbroken for everyone he’d left behind too. Everyone was a victim and it left Lizzie feeling just plain sad.  
  
Lizzie thought Frank had died on a stupid adventure whim, but Frank had died just trying to get home; just trying to feel normal again. It made sense now why Frank was a ghost in his grandparents’ house, because it had been the last place he was trying to get to.  
  
“So then what do you think he’d tell you today, Mom?” Jesse’s voice was coaxing and Lizzie eyed him worriedly to make sure Frank was still in there.  
  
“I don’t know, Jesse, I don’t like to talk about it.”  
  
“Isn’t it a disservice not to talk about him now? You’re talking about how sadness swallows someone up but that’s what you’ve been doing all these years to yourself by avoiding conversation about what happened or about him at all. I think if anything is your fault, it’s that you’ve gone this long feeling like you’re the reason he died.  _He’s_  the reason he died, Mom. And we’ve met with all of your old friends, who are pretty cool people. You’re missing out on some real quality living.”  
  
Nikki took his words in, and Lizzie worried that maybe what Frank said hadn’t reached the pivotal point he was hoping to grasp with his sister. But then Nikki crossed one leg over the other and leaned back against the couch with a small huff. “How are all those old friends doing?”  
  
“They’re good,” Frank smiled. “Gloria really wants to treat you to a spa day.”  
  
Nikki ruffled her hair, more so as a distraction than anything else as she processed all of the information she’d gathered in such a short span of time. “You’re a lot like your uncle, Jesse. Both you and Aaron. That scares the shit out of me and awes me all at once, because you never even met him and somehow you both have the same spirit and passion for life he did. I think if there was anything I could say, to redeem myself for not speaking about him for so long, it’s that I’ve somehow managed to raise two sons as great as he was. I’m sorry you never got to know him. I’m even more sorry he never got to meet you.”  
  
With teary eyes Frank moved to sit next to Nikki on the couch. “Can we talk about him sometimes?”  
  
“It won’t be easy, but I’ll give it my best. Because trust me, I have stories.”  
  
Frank gave a small laugh and hugged Nikki tightly. “There’s somewhere I’d really like to visit, Mom. Do you think that maybe we can all go together today? So that all of us can, I don’t know, find some peace of mind together? For me? For Aaron? For Lizzie? …For you? And, maybe even for Frank?”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
“This is it right here,” Nikki led them to a specific headstone amongst all the fading gray rock that marked where loved ones rest.  
  
“What did you write on it?” Frank asked eagerly and left Lizzie’s side to inspect. It was a really fucked up situation – or Lizzie thought it should feel really fucked up to Frank to be seeing his own grave. But he approached the entire situation happily and with a weird excitement that had Lizzie wishing she wasn’t present to witness the event.  
  
_“’Son, grandson, brother and best friend, rest in peace’,”_  Frank read aloud and scrunched up his nose in distaste. “That’s kind of lame. You guys should have done something really weird. Everyone’s been telling Lizzie and I how cool Frank was, you should have made up some really badass slogan or something. Oh man, what about  _‘Rock until you drop’ from “Monster Squad’’_?” He nudged Lizzie’s arm, forgetting entirely whom they were sharing their grieving session with.  
  
“Jesse,” Nikki frowned, “that’s pretty unnecessary right now. You’re the one who wanted to come out here.”  
  
“Yeah, I know, sorry, Mom,” Frank apologized and bowed his head in respect for himself.  
  
Aaron hid a slight smirk – because evidently he agreed on the funny headstone slogan.  
  
“So which one of my bones are you thinking about right now?” Jesse’s arm slung around Lizzie’s shoulders and he dropped his voice as Nikki took it upon herself to dust some fallen snow off the headstone. She muttered quietly as well, but with an embarrassed blush and frequent glances to her boys, as if they’d make fun of her for talking to her dead brother. All it did, though, was put a fond smile on Jesse’s face as Frank could easily detect and decipher Nikki’s gibberish that normal hearing wouldn’t pick up on.  
  
Lizzie wasn’t coping as well as everyone else and her feet crutched in the snow as she shifted her weight back and forth uncomfortably, pretending she was not staring at the grave of the ghost boy she’d been sharing her bedroom with for the last few months.  
  
“Huh?” Frank shook Lizzie’s shoulders, “Lizzie?”  
  
“That’s not funny,” Lizzie responded by pulling away sharply. Lizzie wanted to think about anything else in the moment. Anything that wasn’t her best friend’s body decomposing away in a box six feet under. That was too real.  
  
“Who said it was?” Frank smirked and watched Nikki press her fingertips to her lips and then to the gravestone. “She’s going to be alright, Liz. I felt it back at the apartment and I can feel it now.”  
  
Lizzie looked up in alarm, but Frank’s attention was still fixated on his sister.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
Lizzie couldn’t watch Frank say goodbye to Nikki. It was difficult enough to witness his goodbye to Gloria. He deserved to have as much privacy as possible trying to say goodbye as someone else. After all, to Nikki, it was Jesse going out for a couple hours, not her brother’s ghost bidding her farewell.  
  
When Frank joined her in the hallway a solid few minutes later with glossy eyes, she knew she’d done right by leaving them be. She didn’t know of the words exchanged, and she didn’t need to know. All Lizzie wondered now was  _when_  her goodbye was to be made. And more importantly  _how_  was she supposed to say goodbye?  
  
Lizzie held Frank’s hand on the walk home, putting aside the fact that it was technically Jesse’s hand. Frank in turn swung his arm back and forth playfully and offered her a smile. He breathed in deeply, salvaging the last little bit of time he had left residing in a living body. “Do you think we have enough time to grab a quick coffee together?” he asked.  
  
Without a verbal response Lizzie tugged Frank in the direction of the café.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Lizzie hardly slept again that night. Instead she laid flat on her back in bed and stared up at the ceiling. Frank had said his goodbyes to Jesse earlier that evening when they’d returned home from the café. Lizzie had made an excuse not to be in the room with them when it happened and she instead retreated to the bathroom where she sat curled up in the dry bathtub going over the day Jesse had brought his guitar – Frank’s guitar – over for the first time. The house had been full of whining guitar and maniacal laughter. That’s how Lizzie wanted to remember Frank and Jesse together.  
  
Lying in her bed in the middle of the night, staring up at the ceiling, Lizzie could never wrap her head around how people all grieved so differently. Why it was so seemingly easy for some people to carry on and others to struggle daily. But maybe everyone was struggling daily and some people were just good at hiding it. Lizzie didn’t know how to grieve. She had never had to grieve in such a way before.  
  
Jesse had cried. That had been evident when she walked him downstairs to the front door. And maybe it was appalling, but it made Lizzie feel a bit better to know that someone was feeling just like she was inside.  
  
Death was the only unavoidable thing in the world, and that kind of made it a beautiful thing, because it was the one thing everyone could share in the end. But Frank had faced death long ago. Lizzie wasn’t dealing with death, she was dealing with loss. And loss was more painful than death. It’s not the actual dying part that’s scary, it’s the dealing with the damage left in its path. Frank wasn’t scared to die. He was already dead. Frank was scared to leave any damage behind; to leave anyone feeling like they couldn’t manage.  
  
Frank hadn’t said goodbye to Lizzie that evening. He’d forced an earbud into her ear and made her listen to the recording of his band three times all the way through with him. He probably would have made her listen a fourth time if it hadn’t been for Olivia knocking on the door wondering what all the giggling was about. “Ghost you later,” Frank had whispered in her ear before disappearing.  
  
Lying awake in the silence Lizzie searched around blindly in her bed for the MP3 player and pressed play, letting music be her sleeping vice, just as it had been one of the first night’s she’d slept in the haunted house.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
When Lizzie awoke, she treated it like she would every normal Monday; with persistent whining and frequent eye rubbing. As per usual, Frank was there whining about her whining and cracking wiseass remarks just to play on her nerves.  
  
Everything felt like usual, and Lizzie didn’t say anything to make it feel the slight bit different. She crammed all of yesterday into a secure part of her brain and told it to shut up while she stepped one foot in front of the other through her morning routine.  
  
Frank followed her routine like a shadow, even snatching her notebook to jot something in it while she worked away at her makeup. He snuck frequent glances at her and smiled gently over any comments she made that were even remotely silly.  
  
Then, when she was about to walk out the door, Frank told her to wait.  
  
“Lizzie, are you coming or what?” Isaac called loudly from downstairs.  
  
“Uh-“ Lizzie hesitated and frowned worriedly over Frank’s serious expression, “You go ahead! I’m not done my makeup yet. I’ll lock up!”  
  
“See you later!”  
  
The door closing could be heard all the way upstairs and then Lizzie stood across from Frank in silence.  
  
“I’ll be late, Frankie,” Lizzie’s voice cut through the quiet. “Are you alright?”  
  
Frank shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and shrugged boyishly. “I’m not sure. Goodbyes really suck, don’t they.”  
  
Lizzie took a sharp inhale of breath and swallowed thickly. It hadn’t really been a question; more of a general comment, but Lizzie felt inclined to answer anyway.  
  
“It’s just school.”  
  
Frank scrunched up his nose and giggled over her remark. “I feel weird.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
“I don’t know. Tingly. Like I could fly if I wanted to, but I can’t because I’ve got lead boots on or something.”  
  
“Yeah, that is weird. Shouldn’t you, like, feel different? With Nikki and everything yesterday?”  
  
“Someone hasn’t let go yet.”  
  
Perplexed Lizzie went through a mental catalogue of Frank’s friends, trying to decide which one they’d missed, or hadn’t helped. “Who?”  
  
“ _Boobalicious on chat_ , Liz,” Frank teased fondly and stood directly in front of her to hold her hands in his, “…You.”  
  
“Me?” Lizzie squeaked. “But I-“  
  
“You’re scared.”  
  
Lizzie’s lower lip quivered and her chest tightened over the revealed truth. “You and Jesse are my only friends. What am I supposed to do without you?”  
  
“Your only friends?” Frank shook her by the shoulders teasingly. “You’re joking, right? Oh man, please tell me you’re joking, Lizzie. Don’t throw us back to square one where you come crying home from school because someone pissed in your apple juice. Look at the amazing people you have had the chance to meet lately. And I’ve seen you at school, remember? Don’t tell me Nathan isn’t your friend. And maybe if you were a bit less oblivious, you’d realize that a lot of people would be willing to be your friend if you didn’t go shutting doors on yourself all the time. You always make things so difficult for yourself. Stop making things so difficult. You know that ledge you sit on at lunch every day?”  
  
Lizzie didn’t answer but did meet his gaze to show she was listening.  
  
“It’s really not that comfortable. In fact, it’s kind of a pain in the ass… Literally. Now I know the move was a lot on you. I get that, but if you’re not open to new opportunities and new people then how do you expect to ever be happy? Sitting around is boring. Trust me. I know sitting around. And  _trust me_ … I’m really tired of it, Liz. You have to let me go.”  
  
“I’m going to miss you, though.”  
  
“You’re allowed to miss me, but you’re not allowed to become a recluse, Elizabeth. How utterly stupid would it be if you wasted the life you have because of the ghost who can’t come out to play? So you are allowed to be sad, but you are not allowed to keep it all in. I don’t care how you get it out, but you’re not going to be a sad old lady sitting in her house wondering what the hell she even did with her life. I mean, don’t make me come haunt your fucking ass again. I won’t be so friendly next time.”  
  
Lizzie smiled weakly through her tears and looked off to the side momentarily to blink and focus on simply breathing. If Frank stayed he would be miserable; a caged animal for infinity. If Lizzie could ever prove to Frank how much she loved and cared about him, then it was by letting him leave. “This is difficult, Frankie. I don’t know how to say goodbye.”  
  
Frank pulled Lizzie close with a weak smile. “So let’s not make it difficult and let’s not say goodbye. Just hug me tight and then get lost.”  
  
Lizzie complied with the biggest hug she’d ever given anyone before, and she refused to let go until Frank broke out into choked little giggles, shaking her off and pointing to the door. “Love you, Lizard, have a great day at school.”  
  
Lizzie opened her mouth to speak, but Frank held a finger to his lips with a teasing smirk.  
  
“Will I  _ever_  see you again?”  
  
Frank’s smirk faltered, but he pointed to the door defiantly, refusing to break down in front of her.  
  
“Ok. I love you too, Frankie. I’ll see you later,” Lizzie’s voice was small and terrified of the unknown. She knew Frank wasn’t going to be there when she returned from school, and that’s what made leaving so difficult. It’s what made walking down the stairs feel like sliding down Mount Everest and opening the front door feel like stepping out into space, inevitably sucking all oxygen from her lungs.  
  
Frank watched Lizzie walk to the front gate through the window. She was continuously looking over her shoulder, no doubt searching for him, but Frank had since taken a step back so she wouldn’t be able to see him. His heart ached for Lizzie, knowing just how much it hurt to lose someone you loved, because Frank had lost many people in his life and Lizzie and Jesse weren’t the exception. Still, he was glad they’d met, and he felt like a better person having known them both.  
  
Frank took another couple steps back in the attic, fighting back tears and feeling coldness swallow him up. Just when he felt like everything was useless; that maybe there  _wasn’t_  anything more, he heard bursts of laughter coming from behind him.  
  
He spun around quickly and felt paralyzed on the spot. At first he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing, because it was too good to be true, but when a pair of arms reached out for him to join in on the lighthearted jokes and laughter, Frank couldn’t help but reach back with an equally excited smile.  
  
Lizzie was half a block away from the house when she turned around and ran back through the rusted old gate, up the creaky stairs of the most haunted house she’d ever encountered and through the door of the only place she associated as home anymore.  
  
“Frankie,” she called in a panic. “Frankie, wait, can’t we- Can’t we just-“ Her voice came out in short gasps due to lack of air in her lungs. “Don’t-“  
  
Climbing the ladder up to the attic she went straight for the window and turned around in a full circle in search of her best friend. “Frank! Where are you?”  
  
And for the first time since she  _really_  needed him, Frank did not appear.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
“Good morning, Izzie,” Olivia smiled to her daughter on Friday morning; the same way she’d been greeting Lizzie for the past month. It hadn’t been an easy month, and Olivia had been startled over the devastated daughter she’d come home to that Monday morning a few weeks ago. She’d assumed Lizzie and Jesse had, had a fight, and Lizzie allowed her to assume it, because what else was Lizzie supposed to say? She couldn’t tell Olivia about Frank, and heartbreak was a valid assumption, because heartbreak is what Lizzie felt. Though it wasn’t over a break-up.  
  
Lizzie’s behaviour was enough for Olivia to revaluate how involved she was in her daughter’s life, however, and so she’d been trying to make herself more available to her children. Hence leaving for work a bit later on Fridays so they could all eat a nice breakfast together.  
  
Isaac had also been alarmed over Lizzie’s solemn attitude. She had never been a particularly peppy person to begin with, but he hardly saw her leave her room other than mope to school and then mope back home. Olivia had allowed Lizzie to eat in her bedroom the first week she’d been acting oddly, and when Olivia insisted Lizzie start rejoining them in the evening Isaac did things he categorized as what girls do when they’ve had a bad break up. He let her pick what they watched on television, or handed her the bowl of ice cream that had a bit more in it. It was all very sweet, and in fact did make Lizzie feel a bit better.  
  
Some days were better than other days. Some days zipped by so fast she didn’t have time to think about Frank during school. But coming home  _after_  school was the worst. Jesse often walked her home, which was surprising to Lizzie, because she probably wasn’t the most fun person to hang out with lately. In fact, she had rarely talked to Jesse at all, but the resilient boy didn’t imply she was wallowing. He didn’t suggest she move on faster or trick her into talking about Frank. All he did was walk her home and stand next to her until she gained enough courage to step inside the house and then he’d bid her farewell until the next day. Jesse wasn’t going anywhere.  
  
“How did you sleep?” Olivia carried on when Lizzie sat down at the table and stuck her tongue out at Isaac who pulled a disgusted face at her jokingly. It wasn’t quite the comeback he’d expect from his sister, but it was a vast improvement from a couple weeks ago when she wouldn’t even react to him sneaking food off her plate, and an even greater improvement from the week before that when she didn’t come down to breakfast at all.  
  
“Good,” Lizzie’s lips upturned to form the beginning of a smile, because, yeah, last night’s sleep was better than most. She almost felt proud of herself.  
“Your dad called yesterday evening asking how you were doing,” Olivia explained cheerfully from the counter where she poured the morning coffee. “I told him you were doing a lot better. It’s nice to see you smiling again.”  
  
The news allowed Lizzie’s smile to expand, because Olivia’s tone didn’t hold any kind of hidden anger for her children’s father, and lately she and Daren had been on better speaking terms – especially when it came to their kids.  
  
“You and Jesse aren’t, like, fighting anymore, are you?” Isaac asked. “He’s always with you at school.”  
“No, we’re alright,” Lizzie confirmed. “Thanks.”  
  
“…’Cause I’ll kick his butt you know. If he’s bugging you.”  
  
Lizzie couldn’t help it and snorted a laugh. “Oh my God, Ike, like you could kick anyone’s ass.”  
  
Isaac’s smile grew tenfold and Olivia looked over her shoulder laughing.  
  
When the laughter subsided Lizzie poked at her breakfast and pursed her lips nervously before speaking. “I know I haven’t talked a lot about why I’ve been such a downer lately, but I want to say thanks for letting me be such a downer. I’d still rather not talk about it, but I’m starting to feel better.”  
  
“Everyone goes through a rough patch now and then, Lizzie,” Olivia sympathized.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
Jesse was seated at their usual table when Lizzie walked into her English class. His eyes were cast down to his notebook and he only glanced up when he heard her approaching footsteps. He watched her slip into the chair next to him and offered a gentle smile before returning to his notes. It was an open book test that morning and Lizzie hadn’t even cracked open a book in the last two weeks. Even now, in the last minute cramming session three quarters of her class were doing in a panic, Lizzie found her gaze frozen on Jesse.  
  
She watched his brow furrow in concentration and smiled weakly over the way he flipped back and forth between two pages in confusion. When he turned in his seat to dig around in his backpack for more notes Lizzie inhaled the scent of cigarettes and cologne, and quickly turned away so not to come across as creepy.  
  
Instead Lizzie flipped her notebook open blindly to a random page and watched another student find their seat before glancing down to her own poorly taken notes. Only, what she saw in the margin of her notes made her eyes tear up instantly.  
  
_Hey Liz,  
Did you finger paint these shitty English notes? I hope you’re not getting tested on these.  
Remember when I wrote you socially awkward ghost notes?  
Thanks for answering them.  
\- F_  
  
Lizzie sighed shakily and felt Jesse’s stare on her. He didn’t say anything, and after a moment turned back to his work.  
  
_You’re welcome.  
\- L_  
  
She added in the best print she was capable of and tapped her pen against the page lightly. Even though Frank was gone, it still felt like he was there. Over the month Lizzie had caught herself weaving together stories about how Frank was just avoiding her because he was pissed off. Or that he was going to come back in a few weeks. When a draft made its way into her room at night she’d wake up and instantly look around for her best friend.  
  
Jesse was immersed with his notes and didn’t notice Lizzie glance at him, for which she was grateful. A whole month and she’d barely said a few words to him, yet every day he’d say ‘Hi’ and sit next to her in Literature class. He’d tried to tell her about the reunion that was forming between Nikki and her friends. Mikey’s daughter had been born the previous week and he and Sandra were planning on visiting Jersey soon to show her off to Gerard and Nikki. Jesse had excitedly told Lizzie that Nikki was in contact with Gloria again, who had called her up a couple weeks ago practically begging her to visit her salon for a pamper day, that Nikki obviously needed and deserved.  
  
“My plan is to invite Ray to whatever party Mikey pulls together,” Jesse had revealed his plot to Lizzie. “And I’m hoping he’ll drag Bob along. How great would that be?”  
  
To which Lizzie had broken down in tears, because yes it was great, and, well,  _Frank_.  
  
“He’d be ecstatic to see them altogether again,” Jesse had insisted.  
  
When their teacher walked into the class with his usual thermos of coffee and furrowed eyebrows, as if expecting his class to always be in utter turmoil, Lizzie ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and quickly jotted down words on it to show Jesse.  
  
_Did you want to hang out after school?_  
  
Jesse leaned over to read the note and a steady grin began to grow across his lips. He didn’t make eye contact and he didn’t utter a word. Instead, he picked up his own pen and began to write. It left Lizzie a nervous mess in her seat, though you’d never guess it based on her calm posture. Inside her heart was racing and her stomach fluttered.  
  
_A date? Or hang out?_  
  
It hadn’t been the response Lizzie anticipated, and it left everything up to her. It left fate in her hands and she swallowed thickly.  
  
_What if I said date?_  
  
Jesse pursed his lips in thought and took a moment before answering.  
  
_I’d say: “Pick you up at 7?”_  
  
Lizzie bit back a smile and felt her pen glide across the paper more easily now that Jesse had revealed he liked the idea of going out with her.  
  
_So what are we going to do?_  
  
Jesse hesitated with the question longer than he had her other notes. And even when he appeared to have reached a verdict his pen still hesitated over the paper before pressing down.  
  
_We can kill time together?_  
  
Lizzie met his gaze and gave a weak smile and nod. Her fingers twitched and she found herself inching her left hand closer and closer to Jesse under the table until they reached his thigh. A blush set into her cheeks, but then Jesse’s hand gripped hers firmly and refused to let go until the test began.  
...................................................................................................................................................................


	39. Epilogue

“Everyone zip your lips and listen,” Gloria’s voice shouted over all the different conversations happening throughout Nikki’s apartment. “Ray’s got an idea.”  
  
“Group picture?” Ray suggested to all the staring eyes. “It’d be nice to have a picture of the old gang altogether again.”  
  
“Group picture,” Mikey piped up in agreement and pointed enthusiastically at Ray. “I like it.”  
  
“Alright, my little dream team, assemble,” Gloria giggled excitedly and started ordering people around to create the best possible portrait. “Jesse, Honey, my camera’s in my purse over there, can you grab it please and snap a few pictures for us?”  
  
Jesse fumbled through the purse for a moment and faked a cough to grab Lizzie’s attention. Quickly flashing her the hilt of the bejewelled dagger Gloria owned he shoved it back into the bag and pulled the camera out instead with a knowing grin.  
  
“On the count of three we’re all going to shout ‘Bob’s on parole’,” Mikey chirped.  
  
“How about ‘Mikey’s got a stick dick’?” Bob countered.  
  
“We’ve never been good at pictures,” Gerard informally apologized to Lizzie, Jesse, Nathan and Aaron who all stood in front of the gathered group of adults.  
  
Jesse looked at the screen on the digital camera to make sure everyone was in shot. “Ok, it looks good. On the count of three everyone say-“  
  
“Wait.” Nikki’s smile was bittersweet but she assured everyone she would be right back and hurried to her bedroom to retrieve something.  
  
“Gerard could probably sketch all of us faster than we can take one bloody picture,” Bob exclaimed.  
  
“Give her a minute,” Gloria waved him off and smiled sweetly to Lizzie. “You pretty thing, your hair is on point today. Still have to tell me what shampoo you use.”  
  
“After this,” Lizzie promised.  
  
They could all hear Nina crying in the other room and Mikey cringed inwardly. “My kid cries a lot.”  
  
“She probably only recently realized you’re her father and can’t fathom your ugly face,” Gerard mumbled.  
  
“I mean, I’d probably cry too,” Ray played along, but Mikey was already fixed on Nikki who came back into the room.  
  
In her hands she carried a framed picture and swallowed before speaking. “ _Now_  we have the dream team, Glore.”  
  
A solemn silence took hold of the group momentarily as they examined the picture of a smiling, teenaged Frank. Lizzie bit down hard on her tongue and Jesse moved closer to her as if to supply some form of comfort.  
  
“Yup,” Bob broke the silence bluntly and nodded. “Definitely one of us fuck-ups, hold ‘em high, Nikki!”  
  
Soft laughter broke out amongst the adults in the room, putting an end to any watery eyes and sad memories. Gloria wrapped an arm around Nikki’s waist and held one side of the frame. Ray bounced happily on the spot with a wide smile, and though Bob gave him an odd look, he still shook his head and chuckled. “Oh man, Toro, you dweeb.”  
  
“On the count of three,” Jesse instructed, “everyone say-“  
  
“Frankie,” Gerard suggested.  
  
“Frankie,” Jesse concurred.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
  
As the evening slowly came to an end Lizzie found herself sat on the couch beside Jesse. Everyone was spread out in the small apartment. Ray, Gerard and Bob were chatting at the dining table, Gloria, Nikki and Sandra had all gathered in the kitchen where Sandra was preparing a bottle because Mikey was next up on feeding duty, and the new dad and Nathan had retreated to Aaron’s room so Nikki’s youngest could show them a new video game.  
  
Laughter was often heard, and the overall atmosphere was warm and pleasant. It still smelled like the dinner Nikki and Gloria had worked on together. And while both weren’t known for their cooking skills, they still managed to knock it out of the park.  
  
Jesse pressed play on the remote and the television started replaying the home videos they’d seen earlier. Jesse muted the sound and Lizzie watched the moment Frank had shown her once before, of the gang walking along a sidewalk. Mikey was enthralled by the camera and taking close-ups of everyone. When it zoomed in on Frank, Lizzie looked away.  
  
“You ok?” Jesse coaxed softly and leaned in closer to her side.  
  
“I’m alright,” she smiled weakly.  
  
“You miss him.”  
  
Lizzie hesitated a moment and turned her right wrist over to reveal the little tattoo she’d recently had inked on her. Olivia could understand why her daughter had wanted a tattoo, but she couldn’t pin down why it was Lizzie chose the one she did. “Mhm.”  
  
“Yeah, ditto,” Jesse spoke softly and let his own right wrist rest on her lap to reveal the little matching ghost. A stereotypical little ghost, but it meant everything to the teens.  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by Mikey arguing with Nathan over why Nintendo was a greater invention than PlayStation as they both re-entered the living room. Aaron followed behind them remaining the neutral party, being in favour of both game consoles.  
  
“Hey, move over, move over,” Mikey motioned to the two teenagers on the couch and wiggled his way into the small gap between them. “Make room for your elders. Leave room for Jesus. Make room for Jesus, the Holy Spirit and me!”  
  
“Does everyone have Boxing Day plans?” Nikki’s voice carried from the kitchen. She didn’t wait for responses before continuing. “No? Great! You’re all coming here on the twenty-sixth.”  
  
“Some of us have significant others though, Nikki-“  
  
“Some of us might be in prison,” Ray cut Gerard off and laughed at Bob’s expression.  
  
“I’m just saying it might not be the ideal location,” Gerard finished explaining. “Not enough room.”  
  
“We’ll rent a hall then,” Nikki concluded like it was the most obvious solution in the world. “Nathe? Lizzie? You can invite your families too!”  
  
Lizzie smiled a bit more when she realized that she would in fact be spending Christmas with her mother this year, to alternate holidays spent with her father. It meant she would absolutely be able to attend the big gathering in December and the thought made her feel giddy inside that a night like tonight could happen again. Many of the people in that small apartment weren’t family at all, but they chose each other at some point. They mixed and matched a family that got them through tough times, and now that they were reunited it appeared like no time had passed. Frank was gone, but they spoke of him like he was there just the other day, and now that Nikki found it easier to talk about her brother she had hundreds of little stories everyone had yet to hear.  
  
“Yay,” Mikey teased as he put his arms around Lizzie and Jesse and shook their shoulders. “Family gathering in December! Now, on to more important matters here. Lizzie, are you two dating yet?”  
  
“Yeah, I’d like to know the answer to that one too,” Nathan plopped down on the couch on the other side of Jesse and nudged his arm. “I haven’t heard any kind of confirmation to that rumour yet. Are you?”  
  
“There’s a rumour?” Mikey exclaimed. “Tell me more, Nathan. What’s being said?”  
  
“Well, it’s been said – ever since Lizzie started coming to eat lunch in the cafeteria – that these two have been a hot item. Now, I mean some serious hand holding and goo-goo eyes, Mikey. I haven’t seen it myself, because they act like each other have cooties in my presence, but someone also claimed they saw these two canoodling in the movie theatre during the first night of the new  _‘Good Punk, Bad Punk and the Aliens’_  film.”  
  
“Is that already out?!” Mikey exclaimed excitedly. “They just started filming that a couple months ago!”  
  
“It’s a pretty low-budget film. But it was epic!”  
  
“Wasn’t that great,” Lizzie whispered under her breath.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Nathan continued, “and Ericka, whose had a major crush on Jesse, since, I don’t know, grade seven? She’s backed way the hell up. So something’s definitely happening.”  
  
“Are we talking about how Jesse and Lizzie are cuties together?” Gloria hurried into the room and sat down right on the floor next to Aaron to look up at the humans currently inhabiting the couch.  
  
“We want answers, guys,” Mikey urged. “Just say it. Say it!”  
  
Lizzie felt like all eyes were on her now, and with all their attention she could only think of one thing her best friend had told her, not too long ago:  _‘Stop making things so difficult’_. Lizzie liked Jesse. Maybe even loved him.  
  
With that in mind Lizzie turned her head to see Jesse watching her with one of his bright smiles.  
..........................................................................................................................................................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Something I Need” – OneRepublic (Ben Haenow's version is worth a listen too!). If you are only going to listen to one of the songs I’ve been posting throughout this story, PLEASE, for the love of everything good, make it this one, because this sums it all up. And when I heard it live it really struck a chord with me. It reminds me of how connected people can be.
> 
> I started writing this story in October of 2013, less than a month after one of my best childhood friends passed away (natural causes). Two and a half months later someone I knew and acted with in high school and thought about a lot while writing Jesse’s character sadly took his own life. And it was incredible to see the amount of people that both of them had impact on in their short lives. This song reminds me to really live in the moment. You could have all the money in the world and live in the lap of luxury. You could have extravagant tales to tell or possessions to flaunt but sometimes it’s the littlest things that have the most meaning to you in the end. Like dissecting television shows for hours and hours over the phone with David as kids. Or how Steve sat down with my friends and I in the hallway one day at school and started to play “Grade 9” – Bare Naked Ladies on guitar to “busk for milk money” (he literally bought Vanilla Milk 2 Go with the money we jokingly gave him).
> 
> And without even realizing, all of the little things come together and have influence on your life. I don’t want to dedicate this story to anyone in particular, but I do want to dedicate Jesse to the little moments we often take for granted. Jesse was not based on one person alone, but many beautiful people that have made a mark in my life, whether I realized it at the time or not. When I met real life Frank in 2014, he crossed off my bucket list and said: “Skip to the present”. Through writing this story I’ve really learned to appreciate and focus on what he meant. So if you’re sitting in a school hallway with your Davids or your Steves, pause for a second and take a breath. That lame joke David just told you? That chord Steve just strummed on guitar? Those are the moments that really count.
> 
> Once more, thank you for reading! I really, really appreciated (and still appreciate) all the comments/likes/subscribes. Sorry again to all the Frizzie shippers, I know there were a few of you! Just because the story is over doesn’t mean we can’t still chat. Always feel free to send me a message, we can talk about anything that’s on your mind.
> 
> I also, on a whim, started my own blog. So if you want to check out a whole slew of random things on my mind, from writing tips to favourite bands to surviving the cold weather where I live just copy paste this link: www.cat-fiction.com
> 
> Take care!  
> \- Cat
> 
> P.S. I came up with a couple different ideas for endings to this story and one of them was pretty twisted. If anyone is interested I can let you know in the comments. Just say when ;P


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